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Book More Photography Clients Podcast | Photography Business, Photography Leads, Marketing
How to Balance Your Business & Motherhood
00:18:51
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- [00:01]
Brooke Jefferson
Being a mom is hard alone. Being a wife mom, a business owner, a sister, a friend and all the things it is challenging. But no one ever said you had to do it all. Well, all the time. Welcome to the Purposeful Photographer Podcast. I'm your host, Brooke Jefferson. This podcast is for those who know their purpose is to be a photographer. We will cover business strategy, marketing, pricing, mindset and photography tips and tricks. I've been a photographer for over 10 years, so I understand what it's like to build your business from the ground up, establish a reputable brand and stay in the know in the industry. It's my mission to equip photographers with the right strategy and mindset so you can impact the world with your unique gifts. Let's dive in. This episode is for my photographers who are moms. I have struggled with this idea of balancing everything in my life. All of the hats that I wear and then also really making sure that I am pouring into my kids. How can I be the best mom? And this might be something that you wrestle with as well, and I just want to have an honest and candid conversation about it where my thoughts are now. Having 11 and an 8 year old versus when they were 3 and a newborn. I am a person that is always wanting to give 100% of myself to every relationship and every area of my life. But realistically, I also know that that is not possible. There's no way that I can every single day give the best of myself to every single aspect of my life. And so that's probably a truth that you need to hear, is that if you feel like you're dropping balls, it is totally normal. But what we really need to figure out is what are the balls? What are the areas of your life that you really need to prioritize in this season and which ones can you kind of let. Can you let go of? I do think that there are seasons where you're going to have certain areas of your life where it's going to get 10%, 20%, maybe 30% of your time and attention and there's going to be other balls that really require 100% of you. So the biggest thing to realize when you start wrestling with oh my goodness, I don't know how I'm supposed to pursue my goals in my business or in my career, how I'm supposed to show up and be a good wife, how I'm supposed to show up and be the best mom I can be and wear 50 other hats that you have as well. Your friendship showing up for Your health, showing up for your finances, all of the things. It feels like a lot. It feels like a lot because it is a lot. Women are very different than men, whereas their brains truly can focus on one thing at a time or even nothing at all. I asked my husband that the other day. I was like, what are you thinking of right now? And he's like, nothing, I'm watching a movie. I'm like, I know that, but like, aren't there thoughts in the back of your mind? And he was like, no, I'm watching a movie. That must be glorious, because every woman I've ever talked to, we have like seven open tabs in our brains and we can't shut it off. And I have tried meditation. I have tried all of that. And I am just here to tell you that I cannot do it. There is not a single moment of my life where I can seriously think about nothing. It just doesn't happen. And you probably feel like this too. Especially. Especially for those of us that are moms. We have so many thoughts circulating our brains. And so it's natural for you to feel like you have the weight of the world now. We don't need to stay in that stressed out space. And that's why I'm hoping that this episode will do a couple of things. One, I hope it encourages you. I hope it's a, hey, I see you. You're doing amazing. And I hope it's practical. I want it to be an episode where you listen to the things that I'm saying, you take what's for you and you carry that with you for the next week or month or year, if you want to. And I want this to be a breath of fresh air. And I want you to feel 10 times better than you did when you first hit play. I struggled for years and years and years with trying to figure out how to balance it all. I am someone that naturally is drawn to business, and so that is where I want to spend a lot of my time. I want to meet new people. I want to create content for my business. I want to do another business challenge to see if I can outdo myself. To me, it's just. I think it's because I am such a creative person, but also because I understand so much about business and I am naturally competitive as well. And so when you put all of those elements together, that's really where I flock to. Now, you might not feel that way about business, but you do feel that way about something. What are you running to when you want to check out of the world. Is it reading? Is it you just want to be all consumed in your marriage? Is it that you want to be all consumed in your motherhood? Is it a hobby? Right? You have something, everybody has their thing that they run to. And so in the beginning, as a young mom, a very young mom, I had my daughter when I was 19, and then I had my son three years later. And I was still really, honestly just a kid myself. You know, the perspective I have now and the outlook on life that I have now at 31 is very different than the outlook and the opinions and what I thought about myself and what I thought about parenting at 19 years old. Very, very different. And I struggled with, okay, what am I supposed to be giving all of my time and attention to? So if you're feeling like that, this is why I really just, I just want to hyper focus on the motherhood piece because I've done it the wrong way and now you better believe I'm doing it the right way. And I've never felt more fulfilled build in my motherhood and in my life as I do in this moment. The last four years have been a journey for me and it has truly, really just helped me come into my own and just have so much confidence, not only in business, but also in my personal life as well. The very first thing I had to recognize, so this is number one for you, is that you have to recognize what season you are in. We have four seasons a year. They come and they go. And it's cyclical and you know it. You know summer's not going to last forever. You know winter's not going to last forever. That is the same with your life. You're experiencing a spring, summer, fall and winter in your life as well. So some of you are in a season where you have a new baby. Well, guess what, Your baby is now your priority. So you're probably going to be spending a lot more time focusing on your, your newborn and focusing on some self care, whether even if it's like an hour of you soaking in a bubble bath or something, right? You're focused on self care and you're probably focused on making sure that your family is good to go. So that's what takes priority. Your business might have to take a break. Why do you guys think that maternity leaves exist? They exist because the priority and the recovery is not on the business. You have to step away from your career, away from your business to truly go all in in your season. Some of you are in a season of being a newlywed you know, maybe you are trying to refoster or work on your marriage, right? And so that becomes a higher priority whenever you are in the newborn stage. Date nights may not be a top priority because you guys are literally trying to learn how to be parents. You're exhausted, you care more about sleeping than you do going out to dinner. And I don't want it to stay this way. But I want you to recognize what season you're in. Some of you are in a season where your personal life, not that you're putting it last, but you need more help so that you can focus on your business. So for example, maybe you've outsourced cleaning your house and maybe you have even asked your husband to cook a couple nights a week so that you can go work late on your business. That's just the first example I saw. Somebody else is in this season and so I wanted to use that as well. So I want you to understand that seasons are going to shift and change all of the time. So what season are you in right now and what is most important to you? If you had to pick three areas of your life, what are your top three?
- [09:16]
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- [09:59]
Brooke Jefferson
I'm going to be very honest with you guys. My business is not my top three in this season. I don't know if you're, if this is the first episode you've ever listened to or if you are a loyal listener and you tune in week after week. But in case you missed it, I have gone back to a nine to five, four days a week and I'm having to relearn my lifestyle, my business and I don't want it to take a backseat. But it's had to because one, I'm exhausted, two, I'm trying to learn what I'm doing and three, I, you know, we're back to school, I have to be there for my kids and of course I don't want my marriage to fall to the wayside. Either. So I'm really focused on the home life more in this season than I am on the business. So I want you to really think about that. And I would probably say. I would probably say my home life, my health, and my motherhood are probably my top three that I'm focusing on right now. And the other things, when I'm able to, then I'm like all the other different areas of life then, like friendships, for example, that's kind of how to take a little bit of a backseat. So I'm not intentionally hanging out as much, but that's because I need to reserve my energy and I need to give more of my attention to other things in this season, and that is okay. So that's, number one. Recognize what season you're in and then pick your top three priorities. The rest of it, you're going to have to be okay, letting it go just for a season. You can pick it up next season. The second thing is, once you've picked the three areas that are most important to you, now you need to decide, okay, how can I pour into these three areas and how often do I need to do that? So typically, I would say so for me, I'm doing these things on a daily and weekly basis. So I'm trying to, for example, for my health, I am trying to make sure that one, I am hitting my goals, my step goals, trying to take a walk outside. I'm trying to hit a couple of nutrition goals as well. And so I'm focused on that pretty much on a daily basis. And then as far as taking walks around the neighborhood, I'm really trying to do that four times a week because I know I can't commit to seven, but four for me feels good. So amazing. I've got that now for my kids. I know that not every single day, I'm going to be able to have true, focused, intentional, quality time with them. But I do know that I can unplug Friday, Saturday and Sunday and focus completely on them. And then I'm just finding little ways. So, like, every time we're in the car, I'm trying to pause the podcast, turn off the radio, and have intentional conversations. So you have to decide, how am I going to. Now that I picked what's important to me, how am I actually going to, you know, pour into this thing? Is it going to be a daily basis? Is it going to be weekly? Is it going to be an intentional family night? What does that look like for you? Because if you don't set up how you are going to approach these things, you're still going to stay stuck and you're going to feel like, wow, I'm giving nothing any attention at all. So you've got to come up with a plan on what is going to make me feel better. So for those of you that are growing your photography business, but you still want to be very present in your motherhood, then I just want to encourage you. How can you do both? How can you take sessions? How can you be gone three or four nights a week? And then when you're not gone, how can you make those evenings really impactful for your kids and for your family? It's all about this balance. And balance doesn't mean that everything is equal. That's actually not the definition of balance at all. I have a definition of balance for you, and this is my favorite definition I've ever heard. It says an even distribution of weight enabling someone or something to remain upright and steady. Okay, one more time. It's an even distribution of weight that is going to enable you to remain upright and steady. So it doesn't mean that everything is equal. It means that what do you need in this season to remain upright and steady? And then how are you going to take intentional action and accountability to make sure you are pouring into those things? The last thing I want to touch on is we have to let the mom guilt go. You were not just put on this earth to be a mom. You know how I know? Because you are meant to also be able to pour into your other relationships in your life. You can't be a mom without first being a daughter of someone and then you can't be. And what I mean by that, that sounded really weird, but what I mean is, like, well, you were born to a mother first, right? So that's one relationship already, regardless if your mom is in your life or not. But I'm just saying, like, logically speaking, you're not just put on this earth to just be a mom. That doesn't mean that you can't pour in as much of your time and energy into motherhood. You absolutely can. I'm just saying you're made for more than just that. And so with that truth, you have to realize, like, you can't be with your kids 365 days a year and all the minutes and hours of every day. At some point, they are going to have to spread their wings. You know what I mean? And so you need to. You need to start changing your perspective. You're not leaving your kids or not spending time with them. Just to go and work on your business or go on a date night or whatever it is, you are doing it for them. You're doing it to be an example. You're doing it to show them, hey, here's what it looks like to have priorities and pour into them. And here's how you can be the best well rounded person. So we've got to let the mom guilt go. You're not a bad mom because you need a date night. You're not a bad mom because you're going to take a weekend away to go spend it with some friends. You're not a bad mom because you choose to work on your business and you need a block of time to actually be apart from them. Whether it's another room, another building, another state, it doesn't matter. You are not a bad mom. You've got to let the mom guilt go. And then I would just. If you really do struggle with the mom guilt, I would really just look at your life. What are you doing day in and day out? What are you doing on a weekly basis? When do you feel mom guilt the most? And dig into that. What is it that you're doing? Do you feel mom guilt because you're taking your children to daycare three days a week so you can spend time going to the gym, coming home, getting some work done and really working on yourself and then going to pick them up and then being the best mom? That, to me, sounds like you're doing an amazing job. You're allowing someone else to pour into your babies while you are pouring into the things that are going to eventually pay off. Right? They're going to make your life better. So I just really want to encourage you guys. Y'all are doing an amazing job. Being a mom is hard alone. Being a wife mom, a business owner, a sister, a friend, and all the things, it is challenging. But no one ever said you had to do it all. Well, all the time. The reason that y'all are listening to this and this isn't just like, oh, let me tell you how to market your business episode is because this trips people up. Some of you are stuck here, some of you can't get your business to advance because you are so stuck in a negative mindset or mom guilt or whatever you're drowning in. Oh, I just feel like I should feel like I'm being the worst mom ever because I'm chasing after a dream and a goal. You're not. You're not. It's all about how you go about it. And then again go back to your season. What is most important to you in this season? What needs to take a backseat? I hope you walk away encouraged from this episode. And if you did, truly, truly, and I mean this, I want to hear from you. Whether it's an email or it's a message or a DM on Instagram, I would love to hear what you thought of this episode. If there's something that you like, a takeaway you had or a specific thing that I said, or maybe you're just drowning in the mom guilt and you don't know what to focus on. Let's chat about it. Let's absolutely chat about it. All right. I hope you have a great rest of your day, and I will see you guys on the next one.