Call Her Daddy: Ariana Madix – The Vanderpump Affair

Podcast: Call Her Daddy
Host: Alex Cooper
Guest: Ariana Madix
Date: March 13, 2026
Episode Length: ~2 hours

Episode Overview

This episode features an in-depth conversation between Alex Cooper and Ariana Madix, star of Vanderpump Rules, focusing on the explosive cheating scandal involving Ariana, her ex Tom Sandoval, and her former close friend Raquel Leviss. The discussion is raw, candid, and vulnerable — delving not only into the scandal’s details but also touching on themes of betrayal, emotional healing, self-worth, and public scrutiny. Ariana opens up for the first time in long-form about her experience, providing clarity, context, and emotional resonance for anyone who has suffered betrayal.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Discovery: How Ariana Learned the Truth

[12:01–17:24]

• The Night Everything Changed:
  Ariana recounts the night she discovered Tom's affair with Raquel. At Tom’s concert, his phone falls out of his pocket; Ariana picks it up and, acting on a powerful intuition, checks it in the bathroom. She finds an explicit FaceTime screen recording in his camera roll.
  • "In that moment, I just had this thought, like this, like, go do it. This is like a time to do it. ... And then I opened up his camera roll. And then that's when I saw what I saw." (Ariana, [13:52])
• Immediate Aftermath:
  Confrontation ensues — Ariana confronts Tom, calls Raquel for answers, experiences a swirl of anger, shock, and betrayal.

2. Emotional Impact & Public Scrutiny

[07:45–09:08; throughout]

• Roller Coaster of Emotions:
  Ariana describes the difficult months following the discovery — swinging between dark lows and small bright spots.
  • "Truly, like the lowest lows, I think maybe ever ... and then ... some really amazing bright spots. It sometimes feels like ... a ping pong match in between those two extremes." (Ariana, [07:51])
• Online Judgment:
  The burden of public opinion was heavy, with some viewers criticizing Ariana’s healing process.
  • "People on the Internet will be like ... they're mad at me for, like, healing ... everyone's always going to have an opinion about how you should live." (Ariana, [08:18])

3. The Relationship’s Breakdown

[25:09–28:49; 31:12–32:15; 38:10–41:36]

• Ariana and Tom were together for nine years, shared a home, dogs, and plans for the future.
• Ariana describes initially being enamored by Tom’s enthusiasm, their inside jokes, and their “apocalypse buddy” bond.
• She delves into their declining emotional and physical connection, Tom’s absence, and the cycle of unmet needs.
  • "I can't teleport your dick into my vagina from the bar. Because if you're at the bar and I'm at home, like, I'm here—maybe I'm ready and you're just not there. So how do we do this?" (Ariana, [39:25])
• Therapy is discussed; Ariana had been working on self-esteem and perfectionism. She details her struggles to feel “enough” and how her past relationships influenced this.

4. Gaslighting, Blame, and Accountability

[21:24–23:48; 35:07–35:49; 55:08–59:39]

• Tom’s reactions included anger, deflection, and gaslighting—blaming the breakup on Ariana, weaponizing her mental health, and refusing to take real accountability.
  • "He was mad at me pretty much the entire time." (Ariana, [21:24])
  • "It was brutal. But it was also what he had been doing for that past 48 hours ... you start to really question your own sense of reality." (Ariana, [22:57])
• Tom’s claim he “tried to break up” with Ariana is dismantled as she recalls their clear ongoing intimacy and mixed signals.
  • "Tom really honed in being like I was really trying to break up with her... but you're like sleeping in my bed and buying me flowers and we' an anniversary dinner and like, yeah, going to couples therapy and all of that." (Alex, [56:10])

5. Trust, Red Flags, and “Turning a Blind Eye”

[32:15–36:08; 73:20–75:41]

• Reflecting, Ariana now recognizes potential early red flags in Tom’s behavior — his immaturity, need to party, and “not growing up.”
• She grapples with whether she turned a blind eye and describes being “given a lot of assistance” in overlooking suspect behavior.
  • "Should I be stalking my partner in order to—to know for sure, like, what they're doing?" (Ariana, [73:54])

6. The Betrayal’s Bizarre Layering: Raquel’s Role

[51:07–52:13; 81:41–84:25]

• The betrayal was compounded by the fact that Raquel, the “other woman,” was Ariana’s close friend and confidante.
• Ariana discusses specific moments from the show that now, in hindsight, feel like clear warning signs — including the infamous hot tub “throuple” scene.
  • "They had sex in my guest room while I was sleeping in my own bed ... Yes, I believe that." (Ariana, [82:44])
• Ariana says of Raquel after seeing the real her:
  • "Lost. Lost. I mean, I don't know her ... Some of the behavior has at times seemed sociopathic." (Ariana, [83:48])

7. After the Fallout: Apologies, Closure & Moving Forward

[88:08–104:05]

• Neither Tom nor Raquel offered Ariana meaningful apologies.
  • Raquel sent a brief “I just don’t know what to say except that I’m sorry” text, and nothing more. Tom's in-person apologies were riddled with blame and minimization.
  • "Hers was like a nothing. Hers was a text message that was very like, I just don't know what to say except that I'm sorry." (Ariana, [88:13])
• Going into and after the reunion, Ariana felt a sense of closure due to the unequivocal nature of the betrayal.
  • "You made it really easy for me to just not give a about you. ... when something like this happens, you're like, bye." (Ariana, [103:10])

8. Self-Worth, Boundaries, and Empowerment

[118:11–121:46; 128:35–131:16]

• Ariana credits her friends and her decision to go no-contact with Tom for helping her stay grounded.
  • "Keep that ... no contact. ... That's what I would have to do." (Ariana, [118:16])
• She reflects on her priorities going forward: independence, self-love, career, supportive friendships.
• She wants to empower listeners to know — you are not alone; boundaries are crucial; surround yourself with people who truly have your back.

9. Life After Heartbreak: New Beginnings

[123:21–127:46]

• Ariana is dating someone new (a long-distance relationship with a man she met at a wedding after the split).
  • "I'm really, really enjoying myself. I am seeing someone. They live across the country in New York... It's really, really great." (Ariana, [123:21])
• She shares advice for others about getting back out there, trusting oneself, and honoring one’s own timeline after betrayal.

Notable Quotes & Moments

• On Intuition:
  "I don't know, that's why I say like it felt like some sort of divine intervention." (Ariana, [94:23])

• On Gaslighting:
  "Their natural response is lean in harder—try to gaslight you, trying to make you feel crazy somehow and, like, not take accountability..." (Alex, [21:24])

• On Clarity After Betrayal:
  "When something like this happens, you're like, bye. Like, there's literally nothing about that person. Even if I missed him... that's not who—that's not that person." (Ariana, [103:10])

• On Setting Boundaries:
  "You have to separate. You have to go no contact." (Ariana, [114:35])

• On Women’s Support
  "I love women, and I think we are the best. And I just think that when we team up, like, we are unstoppable." (Ariana, [130:20])

• On Self-Forgiveness:
  "All I can do is my best. And whether my best was good enough or not for anyone, that's what it was." (Ariana, [90:46])

Timestamps for Important Segments

| Timestamp | Segment Description | |------------|----------------------------------------------------------------| | 07:45–09:08| Ariana reflects on months after the affair came out | | 12:01–17:24| Step-by-step discovery of Tom & Raquel's betrayal | | 25:09–28:49| Ariana describes nine-year relationship with Tom Sandoval | | 35:07–35:49| Tom’s history of lying and cheating | | 41:36–45:01| Therapy, childhood wounds, and perfectionism | | 51:07–52:13| The casualness and layering of Raquel’s betrayal | | 55:08–59:39| Tom’s claims about "trying to break up" chronologically refuted| | 73:20–75:41| Ariana on turning a blind eye, trust, and suspicion | | 81:41–84:25| Guest room suspicions: betrayal within the home | | 88:08–89:18| How Ariana received (non-)apologies from Tom and Raquel | | 103:10 | Ariana on her sense of closure and moving on | | 118:11–121:46| Importance of friends and going “no contact” afterward | | 123:21–127:46| Ariana’s new relationship, healing, and advice for others | | 128:35–131:16| Ariana’s hopes, new era—independence, career, self-worth |

Final Thoughts & Closing

Ariana Madix’s appearance is more than a headline-grabbing spill of reality TV tea — it’s a deeply resonant account of betrayal, self-discovery, and personal growth. Through humor, honesty, and vulnerability, Ariana reframes her heartbreak as a catalyst for reclaiming her independence and self-respect. This conversation is as relatable for those outside the reality TV world as it is revelatory for Vanderpump fans, offering support and solidarity to anyone grappling with trust, heartbreak, or public judgment.

Memorable Closing: "I just want people to know ... I love women, and I think we are the best. And I just think that when we team up, like, we are unstoppable." (Ariana, [130:20])

For those unfamiliar with the details, this episode offers not just the story behind the headlines but also an empowering blueprint for surviving betrayal with strength and dignity.