Podcast Summary: Call Her Daddy – Aubrey O’Day: Overcoming Toxic Men (ft. Diddy, Trump & Pauly D) (FBF)

Introduction

In this powerful episode of Call Her Daddy, host Alex Cooper engages in a candid and heartfelt conversation with Aubrey O’Day, a former member of the reality TV band Danity Kane. The discussion delves deep into Aubrey’s experiences with toxic relationships, her struggles within the music industry, and her journey toward healing and self-love. Throughout the interview, Aubrey shares intimate details about her interactions with influential figures like Diddy, Donald Trump Jr., and Pauly D, offering listeners invaluable insights into overcoming adversity and toxic dynamics.

Auditioning and Formation of Danity Kane

Aubrey opens up about her initial foray into the music industry, recounting the audition process for Danity Kane. She describes the intense competition and the pressures faced during the early days.

Aubrey O'Day [07:01]: "I was wearing the outfit I had on to class to go to class in. And I went to this audition. There were girls wrapped around, like, wherever we were, the Forum or some big theater. And I was like, there's no way."

Aubrey emphasizes the competitive environment and the emotional toll it took on her and her bandmates.

Relationship with Diddy and the Dynamics Within Danity Kane

A significant portion of the conversation focuses on Aubrey's relationship with Sean "Diddy" Combs, the executive producer behind Danity Kane. She provides an unfiltered look into the challenging dynamics and the exploitation she faced.

Aubrey O'Day [09:20]: "My first impression was he stole the oxygen out of the room. I've only met three men in my life that stole the oxygen out of the room. Diddy, Trump, Hugh Hefner."

Aubrey describes how Diddy's domineering presence influenced the band's work ethic and the lack of financial compensation they received despite their success.

Aubrey O'Day [10:03]: "He forced me into a work ethic that I respect to this day because I can do anything on no budget. If you put me in a pile of shit, I can turn that shit into a castle."

She candidly shares the struggles of negotiating contracts and the financial hardships the band endured, highlighting the stark contrast between their public success and private struggles.

Objectification and Pressure on Appearance

Aubrey sheds light on the objectification of female artists within the industry and the relentless pressure to conform to specific beauty standards.

Aubrey O'Day [13:09]: "We were put in these boxes and everybody had a label. And as women, I think that's one of the most frustrating things that we face because we don't. No woman that I know, women are so unique and beautifully drawn."

She discusses the emotional and psychological impact of body shaming and the expectation to maintain a certain appearance, which often led to drastic measures like plastic surgery.

Breakup of Danity Kane and Being Fired by Diddy

The conversation takes a poignant turn as Aubrey discusses her departure from the band and her conflicts with Diddy.

Aubrey O'Day [15:01]: "Diddy fired me on the sixth season. At the very end, he fired me."

She explains the public-facing reasons for her firing—being labeled as "rebellious" and overly friendly with high-profile individuals like Kim Kardashian—but clarifies the underlying issues related to control and exploitation.

Aubrey O'Day [15:27]: "Wild ho, rebellious, you'll never work again was kind of like the last few interpretations of me. What the truth was is what probably you can imagine."

Aubrey reflects on the trauma and lack of support she experienced, emphasizing the long-lasting effects of these experiences on her mental health.

Romantic Relationships with Donald Trump Jr. and Pauly D

Aubrey openly discusses her tumultuous relationships with Donald Trump Jr. and Pauly D, highlighting the toxic dynamics and emotional abuse she endured.

Donald Trump Jr.

Aubrey delves into her affair with Donald Trump Jr., providing a window into the complexities of dating someone deeply entrenched in a powerful and controversial family.

Aubrey O'Day [25:55]: "I think he probably fell in love with me during the show, probably both of us. I was the last woman standing on the show. I was the youngest contestant ever at that time."

She describes the façade of their relationship, where Trump Jr. presented his marriage as a "business transaction" to accommodate their affair. Aubrey shares the emotional turmoil and eventual end of their relationship, driven by external pressures and Trump's evolving persona.

Aubrey O'Day [28:32]: "It's just all fake, and I don't even feel like I could at all make a dent in how bad it's gotten. And I just didn't want to be here anymore."

Pauly D

Transitioning to her relationship with Pauly D from Jersey Shore, Aubrey recounts a deeply toxic and controlling partnership marked by emotional manipulation and abuse.

Aubrey O'Day [50:25]: "I've never really been able to talk to my family. I stopped talking to them. They were like, where did our daughter go? Like, what’s happening?"

She details the controlling behavior, including restrictions on her social interactions and constant surveillance, which led to a loss of self-worth and autonomy.

Aubrey O'Day [52:41]: "You never find yourself asking them and them actually changing for you."

Aubrey emphasizes the importance of recognizing these toxic signs early and empowering oneself to leave such harmful relationships.

Overcoming Trauma and Building Self-Love

Throughout the episode, Aubrey shares her journey of healing from past traumas and toxic relationships. She highlights the significance of self-love and accountability in her path to recovery.

Aubrey O'Day [72:12]: "I went to Bali, and it took me, like, two months to stop taking all medication. I went to an ayurvedic Panchakarma, which is like 14 days of, like, intense, basically, like Indian medicine."

Aubrey discusses how embracing self-love transformed her perspective, enabling her to move forward with resilience and authenticity.

Aubrey O'Day [79:30]: "Stop focusing on me and focus on yourself. Because when I judge people and I don't like people, it's because I don't like myself."

Key Takeaways and Advice for Listeners

Aubrey imparts crucial advice for listeners navigating similar toxic environments:

1. Recognize Red Flags Early: Identify controlling and manipulative behaviors to prevent prolonged exposure to toxicity.
2. Prioritize Self-Love: Cultivate self-worth and compassion to build resilience against external negativity.
3. Seek Support: Reach out to trusted friends, family, or professionals when facing emotional abuse or mental health struggles.
4. Hold Abusers Accountable: Understand that abusive behavior stems from their own insecurities and is not a reflection of your value.

Notable Quotes

• Aubrey O'Day [09:20]: "My first impression was he stole the oxygen out of the room. I've only met three men in my life that stole the oxygen out of the room. Diddy, Trump, Hugh Hefner."
• Aubrey O'Day [13:09]: "We were put in these boxes and everybody had a label. And as women, I think that's one of the most frustrating things that we face because we don't. No woman that I know, women are so unique and beautifully drawn."
• Aubrey O'Day [72:12]: "I went to Bali, and it took me, like, two months to stop taking all medication. I went to an ayurvedic Panchakarma, which is like 14 days of, like, intense, basically, like Indian medicine."
• Aubrey O'Day [79:30]: "Stop focusing on me and focus on yourself. Because when I judge people and I don't like people, it's because I don't like myself."

Conclusion

Aubrey O’Day’s episode on Call Her Daddy is a raw and unfiltered exploration of her battles with toxic men and the music industry's dark underbelly. Her vulnerability and honesty provide a compelling narrative that resonates with many, offering hope and guidance for those facing similar struggles. By sharing her story, Aubrey not only sheds light on the pervasive issues within powerful circles but also empowers listeners to seek self-love and break free from abusive patterns.

Key Sections:

1. Introduction
2. Auditioning and Formation of Danity Kane
3. Relationship with Diddy and Band Dynamics
4. Objectification and Appearance Pressure
5. Breakup of Danity Kane
6. Romantic Relationships with Donald Trump Jr. and Pauly D
7. Overcoming Trauma and Building Self-Love
8. Key Takeaways and Advice
9. Notable Quotes
10. Conclusion