Lauren (2:20)

Wait, how did I not know that you were Larry and Mcat?

McLareby McLareson (2:23)

I was Larry McCott stuff. And like, I would meet people like freshly in my sorority, like, let's share socials and like, yep, hit me up at learn the cot stuff.

Lauren (2:31)

That's like actually that. That one. That's absolutely offensive. And that actually takes some balls to have that as your fucking name. But it's also kind of like fun if you're meeting guys and you're just like, anyways, Lauren is here today. What the fuck? Lauren is here and we are having a Little Girls night. Matt is upstairs watching football with his friends, and Lauren and I were acting like little freaks. And so Matt was like, why don't you. He basically said, why don't you girls go play? Like, why don't. We were listening to him.

McLareby McLareson (3:01)

You know what that means for us? Going through Hannah Montana 1 and seeing how many songs we know on the album?

Lauren (3:08)

Well, no, because this is what I said to Lauren. I said, I saw this trend on Tick Tock and it's like, oh, when I tell people I'm a Miley Cyrus fan and they think I'm gonna play the song Flowers, and then all of a sudden the girl is like. And then you hear me blasting East Northumberland High. If you don't know what East Northumberland High is, if you don't know what good and broken is, if you don't know you and me together, if you don't know nobody's perfect, Life's what you make it like. Lauren and I are OG Hann Montana.

McLareby McLareson (3:35)

Well, it was perfect because you would play Hannah.

Lauren (3:37)

Yep.

McLareby McLareson (3:37)

I would play Lily. Yep.

Lauren (3:39)

Okay. So Lauren and I are hanging out because Matt was like, do you guys want to watch football? And we were like, not really. Not right now. We're feeling frisky. So we were having a little. And we came downstairs after our cocktail, and we just figured we'd podcast and hang out with you Daddy gang. I feel like we've been seeing each other so much recently, which I'm very happy about.

McLareby McLareson (4:00)

Well, I'm a free bird. Oh, I have. I have no. Nothing tying me down, nothing holding me back. I can just go where the wind blows me and you do some cool things.

Lauren (4:11)

No, it's actually a good point. Like, there is so much to be said for when your friend is in a relationship and you can do, like, couple things. Unless you fucking hate the person that your friends in a relationship with. But, like, it's nice when you. You can do a couple things. It's also lovely that I will just text Lauren being like, hey, do you want to, like, come to the super bowl with me? And she's like, sure, I have no plans, but we are. Yeah, We've been seeing each other a lot lately, which I feel very grateful for. But the last time I saw you, we've kind of been doing. We're back to the thing you guys were. I'm like, save it for the podcast. Because we had kind of gone through a little. We won't podcasting as much together.

McLareby McLareson (4:47)

I think it was because my relationship was crashing and burning and I wasn't in a good headspace.

Lauren (4:51)

And, like, he didn't want to see you on a podcast.

McLareby McLareson (4:53)

Yeah.

Lauren (4:53)

Now you're back. I'm back, and you're better than ever. And can you give us an update on your dating life? Because the last we heard from you was you and I. If you guys didn't listen to me and Lauren's last episode, it was, how.

McLareby McLareson (5:06)

Did I start there and then come back and meet us here?

Lauren (5:09)

Because we basically were talking about how I was being the ultimate wing woman.

Alex Cooper (5:12)

Really?

Lauren (5:13)

That's what it was called. But it's about Lauren almost falling in love with a man on a plane. First class, lion high. We thought they were gonna bang the bathroom. Turns out he was gay, so that was the last I left off with you.

McLareby McLareson (5:26)

Oh. And I was going on a lot of dates that were eight hours and I was kissing everyone.

Lauren (5:31)

Oh, my God. Yes. But we've.

McLareby McLareson (5:32)

I've cleaned up my act well. Okay, so here's the update. I haven't gone on any, like, actual dates since we last podcasted together. Okay. So I haven't. What's the holiday? The holiday. Should we take our glasses off?

Lauren (5:46)

Yeah. Yeah. Wait, wait. Yeah. Let's get serious. Let's get serious. Can't see fucking anything.

McLareby McLareson (5:49)

It's bright in here. Okay, so I not, like, intentionally taking a break from dating. The holidays happened, and, like, you were.

Lauren (5:56)

Kind of cruising for a minute.

McLareby McLareson (5:58)

There was one time where I went on five dates in an eight day time span.

Alex Cooper (6:05)

Wait, five days in an eight date?

McLareby McLareson (6:07)

Jesus, I was franken and rocking. Yeah.

Lauren (6:10)

Okay, back to your dates.

McLareby McLareson (6:11)

So, okay, so I'm not, like, purposefully taking a break or, like, purposefully avoiding dates right now. It's just, like, a lot of work to, like, if I'm gonna, like, scout out a date, like, I need to, like, put aside, like, an hour at night to, like, do some good swiping and, like, make some movement.

Lauren (6:27)

But do you feel like you kind of, like, burnt yourself out a little? You were kind of down for anything, and now you're getting a little bit more subjective or. No, you were going hard. You hit the pavement. Like, Lauren, like, my friends were like.

McLareby McLareson (6:37)

Why do you keep going on Sunday dates? Like, I'd wake up hungover and be like, oh, I have a date today.

Lauren (6:41)

Can I say this? And you can correct me if I'm wrong, but I feel like you went through a period where you had been saying to me, like, right when you got out of your relationship, you're like, weekends can be weird because I'M used to like laying in bed on a Sunday and yeah, I. Okay, so maybe you just like, want to like companions to talk to someone. Maybe. Maybe you want a companionship and most of your friends in Chicago are in relationships, so I think maybe there's a part of you that was like looking just to speak and maybe that's why you're going on for five hours to.

McLareby McLareson (7:11)

Have some even contact.

Lauren (7:12)

Yes. You were just like trying. You're a social person, so maybe it was also you just like down to chat. Yeah, now you're getting a little bit more like.

McLareby McLareson (7:20)

Now I'm like a little tired. I don't want to chat. But actually, so I haven't gone on a date and I don't even know, like over a month now. A month and a half. But I, I still go on the apps and like scroll and swipe and like peruse. And last week there was this one guy.

Lauren (7:39)

What do you have your settings to tell me? Age?

McLareby McLareson (7:42)

30 to 45. I had a big 40 year old face. I think I'm done with that.

Lauren (7:47)

Okay, I'm glad that you're not going for like the 25 year old.

McLareby McLareson (7:50)

No, no, no, no, no baby boys.

Lauren (7:51)

Okay, so you're going for the older daddies and. But now you're done with the 40 year olds.

McLareby McLareson (7:56)

I was finding a little. No, I was hiding. I was finding a little hard to connect with the 45 year olds.

Lauren (8:02)

Oh, yeah, that's pushing it. Yeah, you're like. So how many kids do you have? Yeah, like, they're like, I have two families. Oh, height. Are you in height?

McLareby McLareson (8:09)

Yeah.

Lauren (8:10)

To say that.

McLareby McLareson (8:10)

I don't know. I don't think I can. I don't think.

Lauren (8:12)

No, I think we can. I think we can. You. You.

McLareby McLareson (8:14)

I like to feel small.

Lauren (8:19)

I like to literally be so tiny they can't find me.

McLareby McLareson (8:23)

Like, I like to look up.

Lauren (8:24)

Wait, what is your, what is your height range?

McLareby McLareson (8:26)

I don't have it restricted.

Lauren (8:28)

Oh, you don't. But when you see it's like a little 57 or you're like, sorry. I know, I'm sorry. But to each their own.

McLareby McLareson (8:35)

Like some people I. I have some inches on me. Like.

Lauren (8:37)

No, you're literally five six.

McLareby McLareson (8:39)

That's tall.

Lauren (8:41)

I think the average height of a woman is five, five, five.

McLareby McLareson (8:45)

We're the exact same height and the exact same shoe size.

Lauren (8:47)

Yeah, Lauren, we're five five. Yeah, Lauren and I are both five five and we have seven and a half shoe size and we can fit into an eight. And we have the. We have the same everything. Basically, we. We do the same makeup. We have the same every time.

McLareby McLareson (8:58)

It works out really well for me.

Lauren (9:02)

I'm dead. Anyways, okay, so back to your dates.

McLareby McLareson (9:05)

Oh, okay. So I, like, haven't gone on a date in a while, but, like, I keep a pulse on my apps and I was having some light chatter with this one guy, and he seemed promising. He gave me his number on, like, a Thursday night, and I was like, oh, okay, Like, I'll text him on Sunday. Like, we don't need to make small talk through the weekend. So on Sunday, like, I wake up, I sit down, I have my cup of coffee, and I'm, like, trying to clean up my app. I'm trying to, like, unmatch with people who died out and, like, go through and be like, why did I even match with them? I was feeling down in the dumps and desperate, like, goodbye. And I was just cleaning up my page and I accidentally unmatched with the guy who gave me his number, who I was about to text to go.

Lauren (9:42)

On a date with on the apps.

McLareby McLareson (9:44)

You, like, he's gone. So Chicago daddy gang, if you know a guy, I think he was like, 31, 32, he had brown hair, he went to Columbia University. It's hot talking. He was like, oh, like fellow Columbia grad. So Chicago daddy gang, if you know anyone on Hinge who is brown hair, decent height, and went to Colombia, I was going to text you and I was going to go on a date with you. So find some way to contact me.

Lauren (10:12)

I have a feeling if any girl lives in fudgeing Chicago and finds that man, they're scooping him from you. I'm not giving a Columbia hot tall grad to you, Lauren, but good to know about that. Fudgeing sucks.

McLareby McLareson (10:23)

I know.

Lauren (10:24)

Like, there's when he probably is, like, so confused because he probably thought you guys were, like, kind of vibing and thought you were about to, like, literally, like, suck the pee pee. And instead you, like, unmatch him. That probably is fudgeing him up and he's probably talking to his friends. Like, I really think I'm like, I need to take a break from dating right now because I clearly am like, have lost the plot. And I, like, can't read a room because I thought I was about to fuck this girl. And meanwhile, she goes, okay, so you accidentally unmatch. Okay, but have you had any fun encounters at all with a man, like, recently?

McLareby McLareson (10:51)

Okay, so, yeah, I've been, like, really open to meeting people in the wild. So, like, I just feel like I'm walking around with like my eyes and heart open.

Lauren (11:00)

And if you guys again didn't listen to our last episode, Lauren and I like said like, there's something coming about us.

McLareby McLareson (11:07)

No, I can feel it. I'm going to meet someone in the wild.

Lauren (11:10)

We are, is the word, ravenous. Like we are ravenous for you to find a man to the point where like every turn we are literally objectifying.

McLareby McLareson (11:19)

Men around every corner that you are.

Lauren (11:21)

Any man that like is somewhat attractive. I'm like, could he be the one Matt was little. Oh my God, I forgot to tell you this. Oh my God. So, so, so Matt walks into the office. He walks into my office to introduce me to some guy he was just like finishing a meeting with. And he walks in and it was guy from like the film department that was coming to have a meeting with Matt at our offices. And he's like, hey, Alex, this is blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, hi. And like, Matt always gives context. Like, oh, he works at Netflix. Or like, oh, this is guy from Paramount. Or oh, this is a director, whatever. He's giving kind of like no context. And he's kind of looking at me like Matt's like, like I like giving me weird eyes where I'm like, I can't read your mind, Matt. Like, what are you trying to say? And I was like, oh, so nice to meet you. And it was like kind of a weird interaction because we had no reason to talk. He leaves. Matt comes running back into my office and goes, for Lauren. For Lauren, For Lauren. Okay. He's divorced, two kids, good looking kids.

Alex Cooper (12:18)

I know.

Lauren (12:19)

Could we do kids? Maybe not.

McLareby McLareson (12:21)

Well, what about, how old are they?

Lauren (12:23)

I don't know. I didn't get into enough detail. But I do think it could be like, okay, this is going to be really controversial. And I actually would love to know from people in the comments, when Lauren is on this dating journey, do we think a dad would be like a good fuck or is he going to be lazy?

McLareby McLareson (12:40)

I fucked a dad before.

Lauren (12:45)

Wait, what?

McLareby McLareson (12:46)

You don't know this story?

Lauren (12:47)

Who?

McLareby McLareson (12:48)

It was like three years ago and I swooped him up at a bar and he like woo you with like.

Lauren (12:57)

The picture of his kids?

McLareby McLareson (12:58)

No, his sweater. I was obsessed with his sweater. I was like, oh, he looks like a librarian.

Lauren (13:04)

And he's like, yeah.

McLareby McLareson (13:06)

And mid sex he was like, I gotta be honest, my divorce is like in process right now. And I was like, you did tell me. Yeah, I was like, do you have kids? And he was like, yeah, no, like.

Lauren (13:16)

Mid stroke and he's like, I'm thinking about my divorce papers. That's not fucking hot.

McLareby McLareson (13:21)

But he was a lingerer the next day.

Lauren (13:22)

But was was the sexual situation.

McLareby McLareson (13:25)

I think dads, because they like, seen some, you know, like, they've seen a baby come out of a vagina, they've like cleaned up diapers, like bodily functions don't scare them kind of freak. So I think dads are like, down to get dad down and dirty, the dads.

Lauren (13:39)

I think that town for the weird.

McLareby McLareson (13:42)

Yeah.

Lauren (13:42)

Okay. See, this is the kind of learn that I needed to know. Because for our single daddy gang, like, I don't be scared of dads, but this is also what I was gonna say. I have a feeling that if you are not, not looking completely for a relationship and you're kind of looking just to, like, meet people and have good sex, I have a feeling a dad could be the perfect person because he may not be looking for anything serious.

McLareby McLareson (14:05)

A recently divorced dad.

Lauren (14:06)

Exactly. So, like, I don't know, like recently.

McLareby McLareson (14:11)

Divorced dad, hit me up.

Lauren (14:13)

That's literally somehow you can, like, set your setting. Recently divorced dads, please hit me up. That's in your bio. Okay. Anyway, sorry, how did we get off track?

McLareby McLareson (14:22)

Oh, me meeting people in the wild.

Lauren (14:23)

Okay, go ahead. Sorry, sorry, sorry.

McLareby McLareson (14:25)

So last we podcasted together, we were in Utah, and it was right before Christmas, and I was going to Seattle to meet my family for Christmas. We do the national park bit every year. We were doing Olympic national park. And since I was coming from Utah with you, I was already on the west coast, and it made sense for me to just like, go right to Seattle. So I was beating my family to Seattle by an entire day. So I had 24 hours to spend solo in Seattle. So I get to Seattle and I'm like, pop off.

Lauren (14:57)

I can you tell Lauren's back on tick tock. Pop off. Okay, so you get to Seattle.

McLareby McLareson (15:06)

I get to Seattle and I go to a rooftop bar by myself.

Lauren (15:11)

Love.

McLareby McLareson (15:11)

I have a little glass of savvy beef. I have some oysters. Then I go to the spa, I get a massage, and then I go out to a sushi restaurant.

Lauren (15:21)

I can I just say I love this for you? And I feel like the best, most fun moments can sometimes come from when you're doing shit alone. Obviously, be safe. But like, I feel like no one takes themselves on dates anymore, and I just want to put that energy out there. Daddy gang, if you were like, what should I do this weekend because all my friends are gone. Or my boyfriend's gone. Or you're single, do this because then what happened?

McLareby McLareson (15:43)

Oh no. Okay, we're getting there. Okay, so I'm at the sushi restaurant and I have a little bit of a buzz going in because I had like two cocktails before my massage and they gave me free champagne at the massage.

Alex Cooper (15:58)

But you were buzzed during a massage?

McLareby McLareson (16:00)

Oh, highly recommend.

Alex Cooper (16:02)

Wait, I've never done that.

McLareby McLareson (16:04)

Really Highly recommend.

Alex Cooper (16:06)

I wonder, would you ever take an.

Lauren (16:07)

Edible before a massage?

McLareby McLareson (16:08)

All the time.

Lauren (16:09)

Why am I going in just raw dog?

McLareby McLareson (16:11)

I don't know.

Lauren (16:11)

I've literally never done that.

McLareby McLareson (16:13)

Do it and get back to me.

Lauren (16:14)

Okay, good to know.

McLareby McLareson (16:15)

Okay, so I'm sitting at the bar of the sushi restaurant and I love the bartender. It's a woman.

Lauren (16:23)

I'm already like, so you fucked him?

McLareby McLareson (16:25)

No, it's a woman. We're just like vibing and like I'm alone and like I haven't, I've been in Seattle all day by myself and it's like 6:30 now, so I haven't really had much human interaction. So like I'm just like hitting it off, talking.

Lauren (16:36)

You're ready to chat?

McLareby McLareson (16:36)

I'm just ready to chat. So I'm chatting with the bartender and she's like really proud of her craft and she's making me all these different cocktails, like these fancy ones. So now I'm like three cocktails in and I'm like feeling great. And it's like 7:30 on a Friday and I'm closing my tab and I'm like, okay, like I had myself a nice day. Like I'll go back to my hotel room and just like watch a show. Then this guy comes and sits down next to me at the bar and he starts immediately striking up conversation is like, this is my first time coming here. Like, what did you order? Did you like it? Immediately I'm like, I'm not attracted to you, but I'm not. You're. I can tell you're very cozy and non threatening and safe and I'm enjoying the conversation with you.

Lauren (17:22)

You're not thinking of it as a complete prospect, but potentially by more conversation you may be like, huh, I'm just.

McLareby McLareson (17:28)

In the mood to chat and not really necessarily the mood to go home. And I'm like, and there's something about.

Lauren (17:33)

When you're in a different city and.

McLareby McLareson (17:35)

You'Re not like there was starting my Christmas vacation too, so I'm like, oh, like let's go. Like vacation? Yeah, vacation starting. I mean I was gonna drink responsibly come alone in a new city. But, like, I'm, like, down to, like.

Lauren (17:45)

Have a good time, meet someone new, love.

McLareby McLareson (17:47)

And so we start talking, and the talk, the conversation so enjoyable that at this point, I had closed my tab, and I reopened my tab to get another drink. And, like, keep talking to him.

Lauren (17:57)

Okay.

McLareby McLareson (17:58)

And we're sitting at the bar talking for, like, 25 minutes.

Lauren (18:01)

What are you talking about?

McLareby McLareson (18:02)

We were just, like, talking about, like, I was saying I was going to Olympic national park, and this is what I had planned for my trip. And, like, okay, nice. What I have planned for the holidays and what he's up to. And, like, we were just, like, chatting it up, love. And so now at this point, it's probably, like, 7:30.

Lauren (18:17)

Okay.

McLareby McLareson (18:17)

And he was like, well, like, you're alone tonight, right? I'm like, yeah. And he's like, me, too. And he. He was like, I actually was gonna go to another bar after this. It's one of my favorite bars. And there's a live show. Like, do you want to come? And I'm like, yeah. Like, in my mind, I'm like, oh, like, live music, a live band, a singer. Like, love that. So down. I'm like, yeah, totally. Like, let's go. So we close our tabs, and we're walking to the next bar. And we get to the next bar. Okay, it's a drag show. And I'm like, oh, that's not entirely, like, what I was anticipating, but, like, okay. Like, I'm down. Fun. Like, let's go to a drag show.

Lauren (18:53)

Yeah.

McLareby McLareson (18:53)

So we're, like, watching the drag show. We're hanging out, we're laughing. In my mind, I'm like, oh, he thinks this is a date. He's so into me, right?

Lauren (19:01)

Like, he's, like, having fun, and he's thinking. He's like. So he's like, yeah.

McLareby McLareson (19:04)

He's like, wow. Like, what a great night for me. I thought I was gonna have a solo night, and now I'm on a date with this girl.

Lauren (19:10)

Love.

McLareby McLareson (19:10)

So, like, we're watching the drag show, and then there's, like, an arcade in the bar, too. So then we go play, like, some games together, and we're talking, and then we go sit at a table in the back and we get another drink, and we're still just, like, chatting.

Lauren (19:23)

Keep going. I have a feeling where this is going just from the sheer fact that you went to a drag show, but keep going, keep going.

McLareby McLareson (19:31)

So we're talking, and we've been hanging out for, like, an hour. And a half now at this second bar. And I look up and I look around at the bar and I'm like, is this bar circus themed? And he's like, yeah. He's like, it's my favorite because it makes me feel like I'm at home. I'm like, what do you mean it makes me feel like you're at home? And he's like, well, the past six years I've been in the circus. I just got out of the circus.

Alex Cooper (20:13)

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Going to work in your favorite tight.

Alex Cooper (21:13)

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McLareby McLareson (23:02)

I look around at the bar and I'm like, is this bar circus themed? And he's like, yeah. He's like, it's my favorite because it makes me feel like I'm at home. I'm like, what do you mean it makes you feel like you're at home? And he's like, well, the past six years I've been in the circus. I just got out of the circus. I'm like, oh, you were in the circus? Like, pop off. And I was like, he was telling me about like his roommate and him who just like moved out. And I'm like, by chance, was your roommate also in the circus? And he's like, yeah, all of my friends here are from the circus. And then like, I like really, like, paused for a second and I like really taken my surroundings, like, sober up a little bit. Yeah, it was a circus themed bar. It was a gay bar and he was a gay man.

Lauren (23:53)

Lauren, sweetie. Lauren. Lauren.

McLareby McLareson (23:57)

I don't think he thought he was on a date with me.

Lauren (23:59)

No, he found a nice young straight woman who he thought loved the gays. Who does love the gays.

McLareby McLareson (24:07)

I'm at this point, let it be known I'm an ally.

Lauren (24:11)

No, no, no. Not only are you an ally, you are literally trying to turn gay men straight. You're like, like, are we in love? He's like, babe, this is my boyfriend over here. You're like, jonathan, wait.

McLareby McLareson (24:28)

Lauren, I have something wrong with me. Like, my gaydar is broken. I can't tell a gay man from a straight man.

Lauren (24:35)

I am sorry. I have no words. I'm trying to like, Process. Like, again, you guys, this. Basically the last episode after she found out that that man was gay, she turned to the guy at the bar, and she was like, he's so cute.

Alex Cooper (24:48)

We're like, babe.

Lauren (24:49)

Like, he's drinking a pink martini like he's gay. Like, Lauren is like, not that again. Like, I get straight men can drip, but it's like, it was so obvious this man was gay, and Lauren was like, his muscles. And I'm like, babe, Lauren, you're going. Okay, Lauren.

McLareby McLareson (25:06)

Yeah. Okay.

Lauren (25:07)

But at least did. Wait. Once you realized he was gay, like, what did you do?

McLareby McLareson (25:10)

I called it. I was just like.

Lauren (25:12)

I thought I was gonna get a. Maybe a little finger tonight.

McLareby McLareson (25:15)

Yeah, I called it, and then I texted my friend who gave me the recommendation for the sushi place, and I was like, wow. So funny how this night turned out. My friend who gave me the recommendation is a gay man. And he was like, oh, honey, I could have told you you weren't gonna meet me when I sent you to the gay neighborhood.

Lauren (25:30)

Oh, my fucking God, Lauren.

McLareby McLareson (25:32)

I know.

Lauren (25:33)

Can I ask what he did in the circus?

McLareby McLareson (25:36)

Yeah, he was the control panel operator. So he coordinated the music, the pyro, and the lights operating in sync.

Alex Cooper (25:44)

Huh.

McLareby McLareson (25:45)

So at least he, like, it could have.

Lauren (25:47)

He wasn't, you know?

McLareby McLareson (25:49)

I don't know.

Lauren (25:51)

I mean, if you fling, maybe that.

McLareby McLareson (25:53)

Could have been cool.

Lauren (25:54)

That could have been cool, too, if he was like, the flamethrower.

McLareby McLareson (25:57)

Like, he ate fire.

Lauren (25:58)

Right. Moving on. Okay, so that.

McLareby McLareson (26:02)

Okay, so then I thought on the way home from this trip that I was gonna redeem myself. So I'm flying home from this vacation, and I am going home and, like, masturbating.

Lauren (26:14)

Or are you, like, so turned off that you're like, I really that up?

McLareby McLareson (26:17)

No, I went home, and I was like, I need to, like, reevaluate some things.

Lauren (26:23)

Okay, so you try to redeem yourself.

McLareby McLareson (26:26)

So I'm trying to redeem myself. So on. I'm flying home from my Christmas vacation. I'm going back to Chicago, and I'm in a fabulous mood. I'm feeling on top of the world because I just got upgraded to first class. I'm gonna get on this plane. I'm gonna have two glasses of red wine. I have, like, three hours left in my book. I'm about to, like, sit down and, like, read, like, the final battle scene of my book. And I'm like, I'm gonna have a great flight home, love. So I walk onto the flight, and I see that in first class, I am seated Next to the hottest man in the entire world. Here we go again. No, no, no, no, no.

Lauren (27:03)

And he's kidding.

McLareby McLareson (27:04)

And I don't. No, he was straight. He was straight.

Lauren (27:07)

Okay.

McLareby McLareson (27:07)

I, like, definitely know he was straight.

Lauren (27:08)

Okay? So this story is not ending.

McLareby McLareson (27:10)

And you fell in love with another gay man.

Lauren (27:12)

Okay.

McLareby McLareson (27:12)

And I don't want to be the girl who cries hot guy on the plane, because I know we said last time that, like, the guy on the plane was. Was the hottest.

Lauren (27:20)

This guy was hotter than the guy on the plane.

McLareby McLareson (27:24)

10 times hotter. He was even dressed better. He had, like, a fear of God, like, sweatshirt on, like, a little, like, hat, like, perfectly fitted jeans. Like, a little. No, I'm, like, really sure this guy was okay.

Lauren (27:39)

No, no, I believe that. So he had, like, swag.

McLareby McLareson (27:41)

Yeah, he is swag. Swag.

Lauren (27:42)

He was, like, with it also.

McLareby McLareson (27:43)

Yeah.

Lauren (27:44)

Okay, so those are, like, name brands that are, like, not name Brandy. Like, you kind of have to know.

McLareby McLareson (27:48)

No, I only know them because of you.

Lauren (27:49)

Yeah.

McLareby McLareson (27:50)

Yeah.

Lauren (27:50)

Okay.

McLareby McLareson (27:51)

And so I sit down next to.

Lauren (27:53)

Are you in the aisle or the.

McLareby McLareson (27:54)

I'm the window. He's the aisle.

Lauren (27:56)

Oh, so you have to, like, climb over his big deck to go to the. Can we also agree before you tell me the rest of the story, that without a doubt, every single time that you go to the airport, moving forward.

McLareby McLareson (28:08)

I have to stop looking like you have to glam to get my together.

Lauren (28:12)

Even if you're not full glam, like, you need to start.

McLareby McLareson (28:14)

Well, did you see what I wore when I flew here yesterday?

Lauren (28:16)

No.

McLareby McLareson (28:17)

I arrived to your house yesterday.

Lauren (28:18)

Oh, wait, what were you wearing?

McLareby McLareson (28:19)

I was wearing leggings, a sweater and a little scarf, and I had earrings on.

Lauren (28:24)

You had a scarf?

McLareby McLareson (28:25)

I had a scarf on.

Lauren (28:26)

Wait, wait, wait. Okay, so you're gonna start putting yourself together a little bit, because again, like we've said. And does everyone else agree and comment down below? If this is on Tick Tock or wherever the this is on Instagram. Let's all debate for two seconds what is one of the hottest, most like, meet cute places that you could meet someone.

McLareby McLareson (28:45)

A plane. A plane.

Lauren (28:47)

It's like the fate of you ending up sitting next to someone that you end up vibing with and the fact that they're single. Like, usually you just get, like, a frumper. That's y. You know, it's like coughing and sneezing.

McLareby McLareson (28:59)

I got a 10.

Lauren (29:01)

Okay. But where else would be hot to meet someone? I feel like the plane is like.

McLareby McLareson (29:06)

The plane's like it.

Lauren (29:08)

Or like a coffee shop. Too basic.

McLareby McLareson (29:10)

You know why the plane is good? Because other places it could come across off putting if someone just, like, talking to you. But, like, if you're seated next to someone on a plane. I'm not a freak. I'm not entirely off put if someone tries to talk to me.

Lauren (29:27)

Okay, that's fair. Okay. So sorry. Back on track.

McLareby McLareson (29:29)

Okay, so I sit down next to him and I was ugly because I gotta start looking better on planes. So I'm like, a little insecure. I'm like, this guy's so hot.

Lauren (29:39)

And, like, how ugly, like, are you? Like, you're like, worst.

McLareby McLareson (29:43)

A little better than the last time. I'm not hungover.

Lauren (29:45)

All right, so it's not good.

McLareby McLareson (29:46)

I'm not puffy, but I just, like, don't have any makeup on and, like, my hair is greasy and in a bun.

Lauren (29:51)

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

McLareby McLareson (29:52)

And I think I'm wearing, like, a full sweatsuit.

Lauren (29:54)

Yeah. So he can't even, like, see those hips.

McLareby McLareson (29:56)

No. I was gonna have to wow him with my personality.

Lauren (29:59)

But, you know, if he falls in love with that and you rip your shirt off and he's like, look at these titties. You're like, that's not what I leave.

McLareby McLareson (30:06)

That's not my best. Yeah, it's not my best asset. Okay, so you know when, like, someone's so hot, you're, like, a little uncomfortable? That's how I felt. So I popped in my AirPods and I was like, I just need to, like, be with myself a little bit and kind of strategize. Like, what in the world could I make conversation with this guy about? And I'm like, I need to. I have a four hour flight. I'm gonna, like, hit pause. I'm gonna have two glasses of wine, I'm gonna read my book, and I'm gonna get a little liquid courage brewing inside of me. And then, like, eventually I'm gonna find some way to make contact. So I get lost in my book for a second and, like, I kind of forget he's there. And, like, I get, like, a buzz on and all of a sudden, like, I realize, like, I have to pee so bad. And I'm a bitch on planes when it comes to asking people to stand up to go the bathroom.

Lauren (30:53)

Absolutely.

McLareby McLareson (30:54)

I don't think I'm a bitch in other areas of my life. I don't really have boundary issues. I can ask for, like, what I want and need, but when it comes to asking people to stand up on a plane so I can pee, it's terrifying. Worst Nightmare.

Lauren (31:04)

It's terrifying. I'd rather get an infection than sometimes ask.

McLareby McLareson (31:08)

Especially I'd rather pee my dribble a little bit.

Lauren (31:12)

And especially depending on the person. Yeah. Okay.

McLareby McLareson (31:15)

So I'm like. All of a sudden, like, hits me like, I'm in my book, and it just, like, hits me. I'm like, I have to pee so bad. And I look up at my man, and he is knocked the out. Oh, that's tough sleeping. But I'm like, it's just one person I have to ask to stand. And, like, I have two and a half hours left. Like, I gotta pee.

Lauren (31:35)

Yeah. Like, I can't do this.

McLareby McLareson (31:36)

So at first I, like, lightly tap him, and I'm like, excuse me. Not budging. And then I go a little harder. And I'm like, excuse me.

Lauren (31:46)

I go a little lower, and I'm like, excuse me. He gets a hard on. I start sucking. Okay, wait, so you go harder?

McLareby McLareson (31:54)

So I go a little harder. And I'm like, excuse me, excuse me. I'm doing this for, like, a few minutes, and, like, I'm wanting to crawl in my skin. I'm like, I'm dying. Of course, the guy across the aisle sees me, and he starts giving me encouragement. He's like, you got this, you got this, you got this. So I'm now like, okay. He's encouraging me. So I'm getting a little more. A little like, excuse me. And this guy is still not waking up. So then the guy across the aisle reaches over and joins in. So the guy across the aisle is leaning across the aisle on one shoulder. I'm on this guy's shoulder. And we're both like, excuse me, excuse me. And he's not waking up.

Lauren (32:37)

This is horrifying. Lauren, fucking put your leg over that man's dick and lunge over him.

McLareby McLareson (32:44)

Then the flight attendant joins in because the flight attendant comes over and is like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Like, what's going on here?

Lauren (32:50)

Touching this.

McLareby McLareson (32:50)

What are you guys doing to this man? And I'm like, I'm so sorry. I couldn't get him to wake up. And that guy saw him was struggling, so then that guy joined in. So then the flight attendant, like, you can tell this ain't her first rodeo. She two hands him and jolts him awake and wakes up. I'm leaning over him on this side. The flight attendant's over the front of him, and the guy across the aisle is leaning over him, too. And he wakes up and he's like, what the actual.

Lauren (33:12)

We probably panic. Yeah, like, we're Going down. Yeah.

McLareby McLareson (33:14)

And I'm like, I'm so sorry. I was trying to wake you up. Then they joined in, and the flight attendant saw. She thought we were trying to harass you, and she joined in. And, like, now I'm so sorry that you're waking up like this. And it was like, he's like, can.

Lauren (33:23)

You imagine being on a plane and opening your eyes and there's four human beings above you? I would be like, someone's in the cockpit. Like, someone's taking everyone down.

McLareby McLareson (33:33)

Yeah, dude. Oh. But in my mind, I'm actually. Couldn't have gone worse, right? But it's. It's gonna be funny. So I'm gonna go to the bathroom and, like, we're gonna come back and laugh about this because, like, how absurd that, like, he woke up, that it took three people to wake him up and that he woke up with three people.

Lauren (33:49)

Like, you can bond over.

McLareby McLareson (33:50)

Yeah, we now. Now I have an in. Now we have a bond, love. So I'm like, okay, like, go to the bathroom. Like, pee. Like, this is gonna be so funny when I come back. I come back, he is knocked the fuck out again.

Alex Cooper (34:20)

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McLareby McLareson (36:07)

I come back, he's knocked the out again. Like, out cold.

Lauren (36:15)

You're literally like, bro, bro. No.

McLareby McLareson (36:19)

So I just crawl over him.

Lauren (36:20)

You crawled over?

McLareby McLareson (36:21)

I just crawled over. And the rest of the sleep. He was sleeping like a sweet little angel baby.

Lauren (36:26)

And when you landed, when he landed.

McLareby McLareson (36:27)

People normally wake up, up when you land, you know, like you, like, land and like, you're, like, awake. He slept through the whole landing. He didn't get out until, like, the actual last second, so.

Lauren (36:39)

And he lives in Chicago.

McLareby McLareson (36:41)

I don't know.

Lauren (36:41)

Well. Or he's coming from.

McLareby McLareson (36:43)

I don't know.

Lauren (36:44)

See, now, would you ever have thought to yourself, well, I guess no, because that's also reading the room. Because I was going to say, would you ever have thought it would have been appropriate if you just wrote your number on a little piece of paper? Slipped it? No. Then I feel like that woman literally, literally took advantage of me, touching me while I might.

McLareby McLareson (37:00)

Please.

Lauren (37:01)

But okay, so it was kind of just one of those where you're, like, looking at this gorgeous man and you can't do anything.

McLareby McLareson (37:06)

No. Like, I think that would be non consensual, Lauren. So I'm just not having good luck.

Lauren (37:12)

Okay. But we have talked about it. Like, a plane is really tough, but it does have opportunity. So I feel like what we know for next time that you're on a plane, it's number, number one, you're gonna look cute. So you feel your best, because let's say, you know, you saw this man, and he looks like a 10 that you're sitting next to in his little Fear of God shirt. But you're feeling like a gremlin. You're feeling not your best. You're feeling like, wow, I haven't washed my hair in 10 days. I was just with my family hiking.

McLareby McLareson (37:38)

It up the mountain.

Lauren (37:39)

I got pubes on every crevice of my body. Like, you're not gonna feel like, pop the even to lunge over his body. But had you been like a little seal, you're shaved up, you got your, like, perfume on, you got your lip liner on, maybe you would Back that maybe you will back that thing up right. All over him just to get to the bathroom. And maybe he would have woken up and instead of seeing you, like, sir, he would have been like, God damn.

McLareby McLareson (38:05)

Yeah, he probably, like, opened his eyes and was like, oh, what is that?

Lauren (38:09)

And you're like, oh.

McLareby McLareson (38:11)

You're like, Lauren, I know.

Lauren (38:15)

Okay, so, but what I think we also know is, like, you're getting really good luck with, like, really good looking men on planes recently.

McLareby McLareson (38:22)

Yes. Yeah.

Lauren (38:23)

Also to be fair, because, like, you're usually flying to pretty, like, metropolitan places, so I feel like that's also the type of man that you want to be with. Like, we've talked.

McLareby McLareson (38:32)

I'm not like a go getter. I want like a jet setter.

Lauren (38:35)

Yeah, you want someone that's like, in the know. Yeah. So I feel like these are huge opportunities for you to meet men. Yeah.

McLareby McLareson (38:41)

Yeah. So I'm gonna get my act together and I'll report back.

Lauren (38:43)

I'm really proud of you, though. I think that you are. You have the right mindset. We now just need to, like, wait, what happened at your high school reunion?

McLareby McLareson (38:52)

So last I told the daddy gang was about my high school reunion.

Lauren (38:57)

Yeah, we've been potting a lot.

McLareby McLareson (38:58)

Guys, Thanksgiving episode, I was talking about how I was about to go to my high school reunion.

Alex Cooper (39:04)

You were gonna see your arch nemesis?

McLareby McLareson (39:05)

Yeah, I was about to say I went off on my arch nemesis.

Lauren (39:08)

Wait, was she there?

McLareby McLareson (39:08)

Okay, okay, okay. So in that episode, I told a story about my high school boyfriend cheating on me at prom with my arch nemesis.

Lauren (39:16)

Classic.

McLareby McLareson (39:17)

And that podcast episode aired three days before the high school reunion. So I had a little bit of anxiety going into my high school reunion. Like, is he gonna be there? Is she gonna be there? Did they hear me just, like, pop off on them? Do they think that, like, I'm still.

Lauren (39:31)

Like, obsessed, like, in love?

McLareby McLareson (39:35)

Yeah, yeah. And just like, what's the interaction going to be? So I did some intel. I knew, as I said in that episode, that my arch nemesis loves Snapchat. So I got back in the old Snapchat.

Lauren (39:48)

I love how you are saying that, you know, your arch nemesis loves Snapchat. Again, for context, we are talking freshman and sophomore year. Like, we're talking high school. When this girl use Snapchat, that would be like saying, you and I love Snapchat. That's like saying, I love MySpace. Okay. You're literally living in the olden age of something that you knew in high school. This woman could have gone through 10 different lives since yeah. But yes, she loves Snapchat.

McLareby McLareson (40:17)

Yeah, she did, because I logged right back into my Snapchat and I checked her Snapchat story, which was active, and I confirmed she was not in the state of Pennsylvania. She was not going to be at the reunion. Boom, she's out. Only contender left. My high school ex. Is he gonna be at the high school reunion?

Lauren (40:34)

I'm actually really proud of you. And I feel like half of this is, like, the things that I've taught you because you're so not a stalker. No, like, you're so not doing recon, but you so are getting in there for this. Oh, I love this.

McLareby McLareson (40:46)

Okay, so I am getting dressed and ready to go have my mom drop me off to meet my girlfriend. So humbling to have my mom go drop me off to meet my girlfriend so we could, like, pre game for the high school reunion. And my mom's a ride or die. My mom's a homie. She puts me on her back.

Lauren (41:06)

She wants to be one with the girl.

McLareby McLareson (41:08)

Yeah.

Lauren (41:08)

Like, if she could have slept over with your friends.

McLareby McLareson (41:10)

Yeah.

Lauren (41:10)

You know, she'd be.

McLareby McLareson (41:11)

I'm sure she'd be up in there.

Lauren (41:12)

If you invited her, she'd be there. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

McLareby McLareson (41:15)

So my mom, I'm getting ready to walk out the door. My mom goes, lair, Lair, lair. We got movement. And I'm like, what's going on, Karen?

Lauren (41:22)

Just for context, her mom has a Southern accent.

McLareby McLareson (41:24)

And I go over and she's like, lair. Bleep. That's my high school ex boyfriend just watched my Instagram story. Do you know what this means? Layer.

Lauren (41:34)

No. It's so good, Lauren. He's so in love with you. No, no, no, you. Okay, so first of all, this is like the one thing that you did tell me on break because we were like, save it for the podcast. Save it for the podcast. And then when you told. Told me, I think I texted you.

McLareby McLareson (41:48)

And Matt texted me and I said, he watched my mom's Instagram story. Okay, he's trying to tonight.

Lauren (41:54)

Not only is he trying to fuck tonight, he literally thinks your soulmates and is obsessed with you. I'm sorry. And I'm sorry if he sees this, but you can't tell me. We are 30 years old and your high school ex boyfriend, who you do not speak to. You guys aren't like, I have friends.

McLareby McLareson (42:08)

I know. I haven't. I have not made contact with him in probably like nine years.

Lauren (42:12)

Nine years is viewing your mother's Instagram story.

McLareby McLareson (42:16)

And to top it off, I was like, Mom. Because she keeps tabs. She knows who's viewing every story.

Lauren (42:22)

Oh, yeah, because she's got like 10 views.

McLareby McLareson (42:24)

Yeah. I'm like, mom, is he a regular or is this a new view? And she's like, new view layer, new view.

Lauren (42:30)

Can you imagine?

Alex Cooper (42:31)

Everybody close your eyes right now. Can you imagine? You have not talked to your high.

Lauren (42:33)

School boyfriend in 10 years and you're going to your high school reunion and your fucking mother alerts you that this motherfucking girl creeper is viewing her story. First of all, that is insane.

McLareby McLareson (42:44)

Second of all, close my eyes. I'm like, yes.

Lauren (42:46)

Second of all, all that's telling me is he's trying to see if you are in town and you're going to the high school reunion because what the else is he doing creeping around the corner in December?

McLareby McLareson (42:58)

Okay, so then now I get to the pre game and me and the girls are like hyping it up. I'm like, oh my God, he's gonna be there. I'm gonna see him for the first time in nine years. Like, do you think he's mad at me? Do you think he watched the podcast? Is he about to confront me? Like, if he confronts me, like, what do I say? Like, actually, do you think there's gonna be like, just like this, like, you and then grab me and make out with me? We're running all the scenarios.

Lauren (43:19)

So fun, so fun.

McLareby McLareson (43:21)

So we get to the high school reunion and we get there 30 minutes late because we're cool, of course. And then can't be early. No. And so now we're. It's like an hour and a half into the high school reunion and me and my friends are kind of like keeping tabs on the door. Like, like, is he here? Is he gonna walk in? Is he gonna walk in?

Lauren (43:40)

And also at that point, also, it's not like you're obsessed, cuz obviously he's obsessed. But like, I'm like trying to clear your name before you like yourself here. But I do want to say it.

McLareby McLareson (43:48)

Was just like a bit that we were all. It was just like a bit that we were all like running in our heads. Like, what is gonna happen?

Lauren (43:53)

It's so funny because what the else are you waiting for? Like, oh, hi Patricia. Like, how's your, like, insurance job? Like, no, you want to see your first first? Like, I just wanna. You wanna see your high school love? Yeah. Okay. Come on.

McLareby McLareson (44:06)

Okay, so an hour and a half, I'm like, I grabbed my friend and I'm like, let's just go ask the woman working the door, like, is his name on the guest list? Like, let's just go ask. Is his name on the guest list?

Lauren (44:16)

So we walk up because you had to rsvp.

McLareby McLareson (44:18)

You do RSVP and, like, pay so that, like, you have, like, a wristband for the open bar. Oh, my God. Yeah, it's an open bar. So imagine where. Yeah, where I'm at here when I go this way.

Lauren (44:27)

Yeah, you're probably like 19 drinks deep and on inedible, like, hello, ma'am.

McLareby McLareson (44:33)

So we go up to the woman working the door who has the list and, like, who RCP'd and paid? And I'm like, is his name on the list? And she's like, no. We and this girl make eye contact, and I know she's daddy gang. And I know we're vibing on, like, a different frequency.

Lauren (44:51)

So I'm like, again, open bar. Keep in mind, Lauren thinks that she's vibing with this door woman. And Lauren things. This woman is daddy gang. This woman could be, like, so unaware and is like, what is wrong with this girl? She's a staring problem. But okay, yeah, she's daddy gang. She's an ally.

McLareby McLareson (45:12)

Yeah, she's. She's an ally.

Lauren (45:15)

No.

McLareby McLareson (45:16)

Oh, no. She's an ally. Listen up.

Lauren (45:18)

Okay.

McLareby McLareson (45:18)

Buckle up.

Lauren (45:18)

Okay.

McLareby McLareson (45:19)

So I look at her and I say, I need your help. I'm about to maybe have a fated run in with my high school boyfriend. And, like, I need to, like, crank it up a little bit.

Lauren (45:29)

Did you say I. A faded run in Fated?

McLareby McLareson (45:32)

Like fate? Like a fated.

Lauren (45:35)

Is that a saying? Nope, I love it. A faded run in. I thought you, like, said faded. Like, I'm faded on this juice girl. I've had a couple whiskeys.

Alex Cooper (45:43)

I'm throwing it back.

Lauren (45:44)

Okay?

McLareby McLareson (45:45)

So I'm like, I'm gonna. Are you down? I'm gonna give you his number. You're gonna call him and say, hey, this is Karen. I'm working the door at Blah blah blah Bar. Someone actually paid for your wristband. Are you. When you're gonna be here to pick it up?

Lauren (46:02)

You think he's that dead broke that he'll come? The only reason he's not coming is because the $15, it was 50.

McLareby McLareson (46:11)

And, like, maybe he was just in the area. Yeah, out in Philly. Like, didn't know if he wanted to stop by, but, like, if the bartender or if the door woman is calling him to say, someone wants you here so bad that they pay paid for your wristband, just stop by for a free open bar. Like, it.

Lauren (46:27)

Let's go.

McLareby McLareson (46:28)

Right?

Lauren (46:28)

Yeah. Fair I would do.

McLareby McLareson (46:30)

I'd be like, he doesn't answer. She leaves a voicemail, and what does she say? Exactly what I told her to.

Lauren (46:39)

I'm picturing you, like, seconds away from grabbing the phone, being like, it's me, baby. You're, like, holding yourself back. All your free will is like, don't grab the phone. Don't grab the.

McLareby McLareson (46:48)

Well, he didn't answer, and I went to voicemail, and I never heard from him or never saw him.

Lauren (46:54)

So you're exposing yourself right now on Call Her Daddy to millions of people that you are, in fact, the girl that had Karen from the bar call him and try to get him and lure him to the bar so you could see him.

McLareby McLareson (47:07)

I wasn't trying to see him, to hook up with him or anything like that.

Lauren (47:10)

What were you looking for?

McLareby McLareson (47:11)

A little rendezvous? Just a little, like, fair.

Lauren (47:13)

Because at least he's not gay. And we know that. A little, like, that sucks, though, that, like, I actually.

McLareby McLareson (47:24)

So since I've downloaded Instagram, I've requested him, and he won't accept my friend request. So I think he saw the first episode.

Lauren (47:32)

But also, we do not want him.

McLareby McLareson (47:35)

No, I don't.

Lauren (47:36)

I don't want him.

McLareby McLareson (47:37)

I don't want his.

Lauren (47:38)

What are we doing? No, you just want.

McLareby McLareson (47:42)

I just wanted to stir the pot a little bit.

Lauren (47:44)

No, you want him.

McLareby McLareson (47:45)

No, I don't want him.

Lauren (47:46)

So that you can pull back and then you could be like, ew, I don't want you anymore. That's so high school. But you want him to come to you so then you can fucking bounce.

McLareby McLareson (47:54)

I don't know what I want.

Lauren (47:55)

Who has she become? It is crazy. Like, I don't know if anyone feels this, babe, but no matter how far away you get from your hometown, it's the saying of, like, you can take a bitch out of Philly, but you can't take the Philly out of a bitch, or whatever the fuck the saying is. Okay, okay. Oh, also, people got so mad at me when I was like, I will always be Philly. They're like, you're from the suburbs, cunt. I was like, okay, first of all, off. It's not the same thing. You know what I'm saying? We went to Philly every day. Second of all, it's weird how no matter where you go in, life stirs up those emotions of when you're, like, an adolescent. Because remember, did I tell you that.

McLareby McLareson (48:32)

I think I was regressing?

Lauren (48:34)

You're thinking, no. Did I Tell you that my ex boyfriend randomly texted me a picture of the look at Me now song by Chris Brown out of the blue and just texted that to me.

McLareby McLareson (48:44)

When?

Lauren (48:45)

In November. And just like a picture of like, look at me now. And I couldn't tell if he was saying like, look at you or look at you exactly.

McLareby McLareson (48:53)

Like, I don't know what he's up to, but like, look at you kind of makes sense.

Lauren (48:56)

I was thinking that, but it says look at me. Like I couldn't tell. So I just didn't answer because I was like, I'm not sure.

McLareby McLareson (49:01)

You're also married.

Lauren (49:01)

Yeah, yeah, it was. Was just a little.

McLareby McLareson (49:03)

I'm not married. You're looking for single.

Lauren (49:05)

You're looking to get fingered?

McLareby McLareson (49:06)

No.

Lauren (49:08)

Okay, so you had like, you Wait, did you have any. I'm blowing up your spot. I forgot you told me. What? You had a make out though.

McLareby McLareson (49:15)

Yeah.

Lauren (49:18)

Zoo, rewind and zoom in on her face when she just said yeah. Oh, who are you? I'm upset you had a make out.

McLareby McLareson (49:27)

I had a make out, but not with my high school boyfriend.

Lauren (49:29)

No, with a different man. Okay. Now that we are in our era of you are single, we do not want you to end up with a gay man. Although we are allies. We want to keep our gays in our girls. And then we want to keep the dicks that we want to suck and fuck over here for you to marry. I have a little game on my phone that I. If anyone is single or even if you're fucking married or in a relationship, I don't give a shit. Just play with us because this is going to be fun. So I have a game for Lauren and basically I'm going to ask you a question and I want to know if you would swipe right or left. I don't know. Right or left? I don't know. Is right good, left bad? I don't know.

McLareby McLareson (50:05)

So just say yes or no.

Lauren (50:06)

Yes or no? Yes or no. Okay, ready? We're going to start easy.

McLareby McLareson (50:09)

Okay.

Lauren (50:10)

Hopefully he has multiple mirror selfies on his profile.

McLareby McLareson (50:16)

Multiple. Absolutely not. Like, maybe, maybe I could let one slide. But like, context matters.

Lauren (50:25)

Okay. Like what context would you be? Okay. Can you imagine Matt taking mirror selfie?

McLareby McLareson (50:29)

Like mirror selfie? Like if you're like stunting and posing.

Lauren (50:33)

No.

McLareby McLareson (50:34)

No.

Lauren (50:34)

Okay, let's try to think of what is. What would be Okay. I feel like a man mirror selfie.

McLareby McLareson (50:38)

Like maybe if like you're wearing like a really funny costume for like a theme, something, you're just like snapping it, like, huh. Funny costume.

Lauren (50:44)

Yes. I was thinking the same thing, although a really random image came to my mind. He's outside at a cabin, and there is a. There's a mirror, like, outdoor. And he's like. Like, like with his friends, like, drinking beer. Like. Well, that may be too frapp, bro. No, it. Wait. Okay, I. No, no, I take all of that back.

McLareby McLareson (51:05)

I was thinking, imagine it has to.

Lauren (51:07)

Feel like he was in a moment.

McLareby McLareson (51:08)

Yeah. Spur the moment quick. Like. Like I'm at a sporting stadium.

Lauren (51:12)

Yeah. But not in the bathroom. Not. It has to be like.

McLareby McLareson (51:18)

Yeah, like, maybe he's walking by a mirror and someone snaps of him.

Lauren (51:23)

But that's still frat bro energy.

McLareby McLareson (51:24)

Yeah.

Lauren (51:25)

No, I think you're right. The energy would be like, if they're in a costume. Is that also frat boy energy?

McLareby McLareson (51:32)

I.

Lauren (51:33)

It has. Again, if he's like, if.

McLareby McLareson (51:35)

Okay.

Lauren (51:36)

One context around it.

McLareby McLareson (51:37)

Context is really important. If there's multiple. Absolutely not.

Lauren (51:41)

One mirror selfie. And the context has to make sense. We're struggling to find the context of the mirror selfie. That would be like.

McLareby McLareson (51:46)

But if you find it, send it in.

Lauren (51:48)

Everyone comment down below. When is it acceptable for a man to take a mirror selfie? Because I'm struggling to know when that's the right time. I'm struggling. Okay. His first photo is shirtless.

McLareby McLareson (52:01)

Absolutely. No, it's unacceptable. One shirtless photo.

Lauren (52:04)

The only context that a shirtless photo.

McLareby McLareson (52:06)

Would be, you're really far away. Like, I don't want to be able to see any lines. Like, you need to be far away where, like, you're just trying to show me more that, like. Like, you go to beaches and, like, you go on vacations, but you're not trying to show me your body. You're more trying to show me the scenery. And you being shirtless is a byproduct of the scenery, but you're not trying to get up in there. And, like, I shouldn't be able to see any crevices because you'd be that far away from the camera.

Lauren (52:29)

And if we can see crevices that far away from the camera, Win, obviously, to know that, like, you have a nice body. But I agree, it should not be.

McLareby McLareson (52:36)

Like, your body's not the focus. The scenery.

Lauren (52:38)

You know, cool is if he was, like, on a hike with people and.

McLareby McLareson (52:43)

He summited a mountain, and he's so excited that he just summited a mountain. So he rips his shirt off and he's off of the mountain.

Lauren (52:48)

Yes. No, he has his shirt almost, like, around his shoulders. His shoulders or his neck. And he's so hot. He's sweaty. Yeah. And he's doing one of those. Like, when men do this, what does this think? Do you know what? They do this to the. They're like, pointing to the person next to them. Do you know what I'm talking about? Boys do that. Shut the up. But no, I think. I think it's around their neck.

McLareby McLareson (53:09)

Yeah. Yeah.

Lauren (53:09)

Okay. All of his. No. All of his prompts are knock, knock jokes. No.

McLareby McLareson (53:13)

Oh, I will talk about prompts, though.

Lauren (53:16)

Okay, talk to me about prompts, because.

McLareby McLareson (53:18)

You haven't been on the apps in a little bit.

Lauren (53:19)

No.

McLareby McLareson (53:19)

So, like, prompts are a huge. Prompts are huge on Hinge. Like, I feel. Or like, all the apps. I don't know, but Hinge specifically. And I am proud of my prompts.

Lauren (53:31)

Oh, do you want to. Is that you being like. Like, ask me about.

McLareby McLareson (53:37)

About my proms?

Lauren (53:39)

What's going on with your prom, Lauren?

Alex Cooper (53:57)

This episode of Call Her Daddy is brought to you by McDonald's. There are so many tiny but special moments that McDonald's makes possible. Like, think her out of fries and then discovering one at the bottom. Nothing beats that feeling. And waiting for the perfect moment to ask a friend for One of their McNuggets is always thrilling. And of course, when you're at McDonald's and you spot your fries being scooped into the carton, suddenly time slows down. Get your favorite McDonald's meal today. Call Her Daddy is brought to you by T Mobile. You know, listen, I've tried in my growing up to not really get too, too involved in the drama. We all love a good, juicy rumor. And let me tell you, Daddy gang, it is time to spill the tea on a rumor I have heard going around. And by T, I mean T Mobile.

Lauren (54:50)

Boom.

Alex Cooper (54:51)

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Lauren (55:22)

And I also love to go to concerts.

Alex Cooper (55:25)

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Lauren (55:41)

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Alex Cooper (55:41)

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Lauren (55:45)

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Lauren (56:06)

What's going on with your promise?

McLareby McLareson (56:10)

Okay, so one of my prompts that gets the most traction is it's. Let's debate this topic. The top sheet is useless.

Lauren (56:21)

I remember when you were telling me about this, but then you started lingering too long on the top sheet conversation.

McLareby McLareson (56:28)

This is what I was gonna say. Okay, so now when everyone slides in, they're all going for the top sheet combo. So now I have like 20 conversations going ham about whether or not you use a top sheet. Like, I can like, oh, I feel so much furrier since I got rid of the top sheet. Oh, I'm bold. I got rid of the top sheet.

Lauren (56:45)

Like, right. Like you. Now you almost have prompts to go with once they start the conversation.

McLareby McLareson (56:49)

I can. I can give you five top sheet jokes right off the top.

Lauren (56:53)

You can just kind of black out and then eventually you want to transition the conversation.

McLareby McLareson (56:55)

But yeah. Yes, because the danger is I can't go on a date with someone when all we've talked about is whether you have a top sheet or not on your.

Lauren (57:02)

And when Lauren showed me one of her dating app conversations, I was like, babe, I'm scrolling and we're still on the fucking top sheet. Which is where you really have to be careful. Like, I think something that my advice for dating apps that I gave to you was, and I used to do this a lot was this advice. I can be sarcastic. Like, I think that was one of.

McLareby McLareson (57:23)

My, like, flirt, banter.

Lauren (57:24)

Yeah, banter. And like, I used to do that all the time. Time. The problem is if you don't get out of that zone somewhat in the beginning days of speaking before.

McLareby McLareson (57:36)

Before the actual date.

Alex Cooper (57:38)

Before the actual date.

Lauren (57:38)

I find it very hard to transition your relationship out of the banter stage to being, like, sweet and romantic and.

McLareby McLareson (57:45)

Like, not on each other.

Lauren (57:47)

Yeah, yeah, because I remember it was the Canadian, and it was this Canadian hockey player that I used to hook up with and we were both Leos, which was just a fcking disaster in general, but I remember every single Fcking time I was with him, we were constantly trying to one up each other, and we were constantly just bantering. And if you were at a dinner with us, like, we would go to a lot of group things, and people were like, you two are so insane together. It's hilarious to watch. But I was also like, I also want you to, like, cuddle me. And, like.

McLareby McLareson (58:15)

And then you end the date and you're like, wait, I know nothing about you.

Lauren (58:19)

It's almost like a competition of if you can keep the banter going and it gets exhausting. And. And I find that you almost regret that you never were just like, normal, sweet conversations. And then you can so be careful, daddy gang, that you go. Don't get stuck in the banter phase. Because as fun as it is to find something that you're like, okay, this person can banter.

McLareby McLareson (58:39)

Yeah.

Lauren (58:39)

Eventually you're gonna run out of, like, leg room. To be like, it's now would be weird for us to have a romantic loving moment because we're so joking with each other. Okay, good to know. Okay, next. Your ex is in one of his pictures.

McLareby McLareson (58:56)

I'm in a little bit of a destructive mode right now.

Lauren (59:00)

What is going on?

McLareby McLareson (59:02)

I don't know. So, like, I would probably just, like, go for it. No. No, I wouldn't.

Lauren (59:10)

You were about to say some.

Alex Cooper (59:11)

What?

Lauren (59:12)

Go ahead, say what you're gonna say.

McLareby McLareson (59:13)

No.

Lauren (59:14)

No.

McLareby McLareson (59:14)

Because, like. No.

Lauren (59:17)

How long do you have to wait?

McLareby McLareson (59:20)

To his friend?

Lauren (59:21)

Yeah. I think it has to be, like, a year and a half.

McLareby McLareson (59:26)

That's murky territory.

Lauren (59:29)

That's murder. No, I feel like. Because what if it's like, you know, love stories? Like, if you go to a guy that your ex is friends with again, if it's his best friend, you're. That's just. Just. That's mean. Because it's also kind of weird in hindsight. Like, if his best friend would you. Then I don't like what that says about him and his morals. But if it was a guy in his friend group that he was always just kind of around, but you guys never hung out. But, like, then you.

McLareby McLareson (59:56)

I think you'd have to be like, am I doing this to, like, get closer to him? Have, like, a little bit, like, one leg into, like, a circle of his life? Am I doing this because I hope he's gonna hear about it?

Lauren (60:10)

It.

Alex Cooper (60:10)

Oh, yeah.

Lauren (60:11)

Or is it like, you move to a new city and you see a friend that was his friend and new city that's safe? Or you also have to check with yourself depending on the way that you broke up with your ex is like, are you also leaning into it for the familiarity that's just, like, comforting to you, or do you, like, actually like this guy to like this guy? Okay, so there's a lot of dynamics at play here. Interesting. Daddy getting right into us. If this has happened to you. He's 6 11.

McLareby McLareson (60:34)

Oh, yeah, baby.

Lauren (60:35)

What?

McLareby McLareson (60:36)

6 11. How tall is that? Actually?

Lauren (60:38)

Talk about that for a second. Six. Lauren. 611.

McLareby McLareson (60:42)

Like, give me an.

Lauren (60:42)

If you were doing 69, your. Your face would be at his nipple.

McLareby McLareson (60:50)

How tall do you like? What do you think is a sex? Like what, Lauren?

Lauren (60:53)

Matt. Matt is 6 3. No, no, I actually think 611.

McLareby McLareson (60:58)

Are there 611 people, Lauren?

Lauren (61:00)

Have you ever watched the NBA?

McLareby McLareson (61:02)

They're 6 11, 7.

Lauren (61:03)

Yes. They're 7ft.

McLareby McLareson (61:04)

Can you wait? Let me google how. Let me google average NBA player height, Lauren.

Lauren (61:09)

Seven feet?

McLareby McLareson (61:10)

Really?

Lauren (61:10)

Not average maybe, but I think. Google it.

McLareby McLareson (61:13)

Okay.

Lauren (61:14)

From what I understand, a lot of, like, the crew boys in at BU were really tall. And I just remember, I've never hooked up with someone that tall. But I remember my friends always saying, oh, my God, sex is so hard. Because also if you're riding on top and you're looking at him, you go to kiss him, it's like your head would fall down and you just hit, like, nipple. Like, you can't even reach up to him. Like, the proportions are off. Tell me.

McLareby McLareson (61:39)

The average height of an NBA player is six foot six and a half inches.

Alex Cooper (61:45)

Is that true?

McLareby McLareson (61:46)

That's what AI. That's why AI Google is saying, and how tall is Matt?

Lauren (61:53)

Six three. Although it says he's shorter online and it really upsets him. Business can wait for two seconds. What is the average height of an NBA player? Like, what's the average?

McLareby McLareson (62:02)

I mean, Google it.

Lauren (62:03)

But I would probably say 6 5, 6, 4.

McLareby McLareson (62:06)

6 5.

Lauren (62:07)

Really? And. But there are people that are 611. Yes, but then there's people who are 6 1. So, like, maybe 6, 5 is 6.

McLareby McLareson (62:15)

6 is probably the average.

Lauren (62:16)

But there are men that are seven foot in the NBA. There's men that are seven three. Thank you. Love you. Love you. But listen, I'm telling you, you're gonna.

McLareby McLareson (62:29)

See us next week courtside.

Lauren (62:32)

Lauren's like, I want him throwing me around, but do you understand what I'm saying?

Alex Cooper (62:35)

Logistic.

Lauren (62:36)

I love how we're saying it's too tall, but listen to me. Think about it. You are riding a man. Okay. I love what we're doing. Like science. Yeah. You Are riding this man.

McLareby McLareson (62:50)

We need him to be longer. This is him.

Lauren (62:54)

You are providing this. You're riding this man. Okay, here you go to kiss him. And his head is here. But think about that. You can't reach him, so you can't make out when you're riding him. You.

McLareby McLareson (63:09)

That's a big so dog.

Lauren (63:11)

Well, I guess it depends the intimacy level. If you're just trying to. But do you understand what I'm saying? Saying you can't. 69. You're so far away when you're sucking his dick that you can't really, like make eye contact. He's so. He's like a mile away. But like, I think there's definitely positives to date. Does anyone. Is anyone in a relationship with a man that's 7 foot? Let us know.

McLareby McLareson (63:31)

6 11.

Lauren (63:32)

And I don't want to discriminate. I'm just saying for you. I can tell with you. I think you want big, but I don't know if you want that big, but if it's love. Okay, okay, next question. What the was my question?

McLareby McLareson (63:45)

Oh, 6 11.

Lauren (63:46)

It's a good question. It's a good question. Oh, he's doing a baby voice in his voice prompt.

McLareby McLareson (63:52)

Whenever there's a voice prompt on a dating app, I don't listen because I know I'll immediately get the ick.

Lauren (63:56)

I think that it's the worst thing that they did to that app.

McLareby McLareson (63:59)

What does a man doing a baby voice even sound like?

Lauren (64:02)

I don't know, but I know that men do it. And I actually think, ladies, I know it's probably like, feels counterintuitive, but I actually genuinely believe. I remember when I was like, you're hinge. And I was like, do not click on that. Don't click on their voice prompts because if they have one, they're probably trying to do something funny and they don't understand. Like, it's gonna give you the ick. And maybe he is like a good guy, but he's like, maybe he's a.

McLareby McLareson (64:24)

Stand up comedian, but, like, save it for the stage.

Lauren (64:26)

He's vegan.

McLareby McLareson (64:26)

That's like. Like, that's not a deal breaker, but that's a big inconvenience.

Lauren (64:30)

Yeah, yeah. Like, come on. Like, I want to go have steak. Yeah, exactly.

McLareby McLareson (64:35)

Sushi.

Lauren (64:36)

Okay. Oh, his frat Greek letters are in his bio and he's 30 years old.

McLareby McLareson (64:41)

Old in the bio. Get the out of here. If you even bring up what fraternity you were in on our first date. Also, like, get the out of here.

Lauren (64:49)

I agree. He's hot, but his outfits are horrible. I think it's okay.

Alex Cooper (64:58)

Like, there's room to grow.

McLareby McLareson (64:59)

Yeah.

Lauren (64:59)

But I also would have to, like, meet him in person because maybe he's like, a.

McLareby McLareson (65:02)

Some men are resistant to change.

Lauren (65:04)

I couldn't have a guy that, like, actually, like, like, looks, like, to the point where I'm like, we're going on a date night, and I'm just, like, never getting turned on.

McLareby McLareson (65:12)

Yeah.

Lauren (65:12)

Okay. Fair. I think that's it.

McLareby McLareson (65:14)

Yeah.

Lauren (65:14)

I feel like we did it.

McLareby McLareson (65:15)

Yeah.

Lauren (65:16)

Okay. So I think this is, like, a fun game, you guys, that Lauren and I are just trying to figure out, like, who is Lauren going to end up with? And we're all.

McLareby McLareson (65:22)

We're in no rush.

Lauren (65:23)

We're in no rush. And I feel like we're all very invested in this journey of yours, and I think people are really enjoying it. Like, the last couple episodes that we've done, I feel like people are really enjoying the. The conversation around you being single, getting out of a relationship at 30. Like, you shared with us. And, like, you're so young, and you have so much opportunity, and I like that you're kind of, like, dipping in and doing dates when you're in the mood, and then you're kind of going on little hiatus. And I think that is a great. That's a great strategy. Like, don't force yourself. Like, don't feel bad if you haven't gone on dates in a couple months. Daddy gang. Like, maybe you're just not ready, and you're probably, like, your body is probably telling you, like, maybe you need to focus on yourself a little bit more. Maybe you want to focus on work right now. Like, don't get mad at yourself if you go in flux of, like, going on a bunch of dates and then stopping. I think that's normal, right?

McLareby McLareson (66:10)

Oh, yeah, that's. Next time we podcast. Oh, you know, I'm biting myself back.

Lauren (66:16)

Yeah, come back. No, he's here.

McLareby McLareson (66:18)

Next time we podcast, we can debate the fact that I do not agree with my therapist. Yes, my therapist. My therapist told me that because I don't want a relationship right now. And she was like, well, why are you going on dates if you don't want a relationship? So you out there, ponder on that.

Lauren (66:37)

Do you agree that Lauren should not be dating if she doesn't want a relationship? Or do you think it's completely fine that Lauren is going on dates, but she doesn't want a relationship? We will leave you with that. With that big, big, big question mark. And we are gonna go have wine and watch football with Matt. So God bless and thank you guys so much for listening to another lovely episode episode of Call Her Daddy and you know the drill. I will see you fuckers next Wednesday.

Alex Cooper (67:03)

Goodbye. Hi Daddy Gang, it is your father. I am so excited that Color Daddy has officially joined the Sirius XM family. I cannot wait to talk to new guests and continue to share my crazy personal stories and experiences with you every single week. If you want to hear new episodes ad free, subscribe to Sirius XM Podcasts on Apple Podcasts to start your free trial today.

Lauren (67:44)

Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Hulu. Buckle up everybody. The Kardashians are back. That's right, a new season of the Kardashians is now on Hulu. In the new season, Kim juggles her multiple businesses and her blooming acting career, Khloe revisits old feelings and the family members support one another through their personal journeys. As always, it's full of fame, family and fun. Don't miss it. The new season of the Kardashians is now streaming on Hulu.

Alex Cooper (68:15)

Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Tinder. It is February and love is in the air all month long. Don't wait around for it to fall in your lap when you've got Tinder. First Impression feature Daddy Gang, you can now send a message before you even match someone. Whether it's calling out their taste in music or dropping a funny line, they won't forget, it's low pressure and an easy way to put yourself out there. This is your month for romance and Tinder is the perfect place to make it happen. Explore all the possibilities for yourself. Tinder. It starts with a swipe.

D (68:47)

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