
This week, Father Cooper sits down with Demi Lovato. Demi exposes the reality of what it was like to be one of the biggest stars on the Disney Channel. How much of Demi’s personal life did Disney have control over and what the fuck was up with the purity rings? Demi outlines how extreme management evolved into manipulation and brainwashing which led to drugs and alcohol. Now free of the control, Demi reflects back on problematic relationships and opens up about which relationship inspired the song "29." Holy Fuck…Demi shares all about sex and dating and discusses a new relationship. This episode discusses adult subject matter, including descriptions of emotional and physical abuse, eating disorders, and substance abuse and is intended for adult consumption only. Listener discretion is advised.
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Alex Cooper
Hi Daddy Gang, it is your father. I am so excited that Caller Daddy has officially joined the Sirius XM family. I cannot wait to talk to new guests and continue to share my crazy personal stories and experiences with you every single week. If you want to hear new episodes ad free, subscribe to Sirius XM podcasts plus on Apple Podcasts or visit siriusxm.com podcastsplus to start your free trial today. Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Josh Sellers. Wine always had its rules. Never add ice. Like, make sure you serve it in a wine glass. Josh Sellers C Swept is a wine that is refreshing. The rules, Daddy Gang. Throw it in the cooler, pour it into your favorite tumbler, and just go ahead. Honestly, add ice if you want to do it. It is a delicious combination of citrusy Sauvignon Blanc and crisp Pinot Grigio. Perfect for Sunny days. Visit www.joshcellers. do call her Daddy and join the wine club to get 20 off. Please drink responsibly. Haagen Dazs is made to be savored and enjoyed slowly. Introducing new Haagen Dazs Belgian Waffle Cones, a completely new experience that's worth slowing down for. I don't know about you guys, but like, I grew up on Haagen Dazs, okay? Every single night, my mom and I would make ourselves a bowl of Haagen Dazs. We would sit down and we would turn on Gray's Anatomy, and it has not changed. With four delicious flavors to choose from, it's hard to pick a favorite, honestly. But summer berry flavor is giving main character energy. Picture a crispy Belgian waffle cone full of Haagen Dazs smooth strawberry ice cream topped with white and milk chocolate curls and finished with raspberry sauce at the bottom. Yeah, yeah, that's what I'm going to have. That's. That's what I want right now. I need to stop talking and go get that. The strawberry ice cream screams summer and the raspberry SA is like a little surprise treat at the end. I personally am obsessed with the summer Berry Belgian Waffle Cone. I am someone that probably wants to have ice cream twice a day. I sometimes, you know, keep it to one, but if I could, I would just keep it going and have it for every meal. So, Daddy Gang, I love a good summer berry. What do you like? New Haagen Dazs Belgian Waffle Cones, available at retailers nationwide. Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Uber Eats. Okay, Daddy Gang, we all know Uber Eats has the best selection of local restaurants, but did you know they also eat when it comes to a whole range of delivery services? Now, that might be a lot to take in, so let me break it down for you. Uber eats isn't just for poolside poke bowls or late night pizza on the patio when you can't make it to the store. You can get just about anything you need delivered straight to your door with uber eats. Or right now, you could be checking off your whole shopping list. Okay. I am so excited to have friends over for summer on pool days. And you know what? The last thing I want to do is when the UV is a 10 outside, go to the grocery store. Okay. That's not my to do list. Okay. I love that on ubereats, I can get tequila for the margaritas. I can get meat for the barbecue and sunscreen when I realize that my tan is unfortunately turning into a burn. Okay. And when it gets too hot in l. A. To be running outside doing errands, I'm just like, oh, I need to be inside. I love that I can sit in my sweats on my couch and the freezing air conditioning and get everything I need delivered without ever having to step outside. Okay. The goal is to never leave my house. So get grocery alcohol and everyday essentials in addition to the restaurant food you love. So in other words, get almost, almost anything with uber eats. Order now for alcohol. You must be legal drinking age. Please enjoy responsibly. Product availability varies by region. See app for details. It's a bop. Like, it's giving me old Demi vibes.
Demi Lovato
Like, yes, I love that you know old Demi.
Alex Cooper
Oh, my God. Are you kidding me? Did you forget? Oh. Do you know how many times I've cried over that in my bedroom? Like, I would, but, like, in a good way. Like, therapeutic. And I'd be like, demi's with me. I. Are you kidding?
Demi Lovato
If we repeat some of this? Just pretend like it didn't happen before because this is all great.
Alex Cooper
We need to stop, stop, stop. Are we ready?
Demi Lovato
Let's get started.
Alex Cooper
What is up, daddy gang? It is your founding father, Alex Cooper with call her daddy. Demi Lovato. Welcome to call her daddy.
Demi Lovato
Thank you.
Alex Cooper
It is such an honor to have you here. And I want to say it's a big deal. You're here for many reasons. Oh, my God.
Demi Lovato
Thank you.
Alex Cooper
Of course. But I've had sometimes people, like, come on, if they're, like, a fan of the show. I. But you are the first person I have ever had on call her daddy, whose mom is a fan of Call her daddy. Shout out Demi's mom. Yes.
Demi Lovato
My mom loves this podcast and she was like, you have to say hi. I was like, of course.
Alex Cooper
We are recording this just before your 30th birthday. Yes. Leo season. What does turning 30 mean to you?
Demi Lovato
Turning 30? What it means to me is like, to be honest, I've had a little anxiety. My 20s were like such a mess. Like I was trying to figure myself out. I didn't know who I was. A lot of shit happened. And then I kind of like over the past couple years have eased into who I am. And then this year I'm like, oh, I know who I am. So turning 30 to me has been like, I'm excited for my 30s and what that holds.
Alex Cooper
I love that and I really want to normalize that because I feel like there's such pressure in society of like, when you hit 30, like, figure it out. And it's like, what the. No 20s are meant to do, all the ups. And then 30s is when it's like, let me come into my own and really figure myself out.
Demi Lovato
Yes, exactly.
Alex Cooper
I love that.
Demi Lovato
Thank you.
Alex Cooper
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Demi Lovato
Oh, thank you.
Alex Cooper
Were you always a natural performer?
Demi Lovato
I think that performer. No, I wasn't always a natural performer. I had some, like, adjusting that I had to do over time. I started performing on tour with Jonas brothers when I was 15. And so. And I went from my first show in June of, like, 22,008, it had, like, 100 people to July. My first show with the Jonas Brothers was 18,000 people, so I had to, like, learn how to perform on these massive stages, and it was super intimidating. I was so nervous, but, like, I figured it out, and I found my groove. But I have always been a vocalist. Like, you know, singing has always come natural to me. My first time singing on stage was when I was, like, five and at my talent show in kindergarten.
Alex Cooper
What did you sing?
Demi Lovato
Celine Dion's my heart will go on, which is, like, one of the hardest songs to sing. But I was like, yeah, I'm gonna tackle that.
Alex Cooper
I was just about to say dem. I'm, like, thinking, like, ooh, like, maybe like, a pop song. She's like Celine Dion. Like, what's up? I'm like, demi. You just go right for the most iconic singer. Hardest song to sing, like, classic. Okay. So someone had a little confidence back then. There you go. I love that.
Demi Lovato
And my mom, like, also, I ra. I was raised with, like, Aretha Franklin and vocalists like that. And then when I started learning vocalists that were in the era of. When I was growing up, it was Christina Aguilera and Kelly Clarkson, and those were the singers that I gravitated to because they did things with their voices that I couldn't, and I wanted to learn how. So I made it my mission and was like, whoever is really, really Talented. I want to do what they do. And so I just sang and sang and sang my little heart out until I could hit the same notes as them.
Alex Cooper
And then you eventually, absolutely got there. So for someone watching this, kind of going back to your childhood a little bit.
Demi Lovato
Yeah.
Alex Cooper
To kind of paint the picture, you're growing up and your parents split when you were really young. Did your biological dad have any input when you began working as a kid?
Demi Lovato
No. So my biological dad, he was mentally ill and had a lot of addiction problems. And so he wasn't really in my life at all. I mean, I was the one that would reach out and call him, but, like, he was really sick mentally. And so over the years, I slowly stopped reaching out and calling him because he was so sick. It was hard to have conversations with him. He was schizophrenic and he had delusions. And so our conversations went from how are you? I miss you To I'm doing a movie with Steven Spielberg and Jodie Foster is my girlfriend. And I'm like, okay, we, like, can't talk anymore. And so I guarded myself from that relationship. And he didn't have a say, but he was proud. He was really proud. When I would talk to him, he was really proud.
Alex Cooper
And there was a lot to be proud for. Technically, your start in the business was you started in pageants, right?
Demi Lovato
Yes, I started in beauty pageants when I was seven. And my first, like, big win was Minnie, Miss Texas. Yeah, that was my introduction. And then from there I got an acting coach and I started doing acting.
Alex Cooper
In your documentary Simply Complicated, your mom, who is a former Dallas Cowboys cheerleader, she acknowledges her emphasis on being skinny and being perfect affected you.
Demi Lovato
Yeah.
Alex Cooper
How did your mom's opinion about herself affect your opinion about yourself?
Demi Lovato
Well, look, my mom had an eating disorder. And so naturally, someone that's in their eating disorder who isn't aware of it, can pass on things to their child. And so I put a lot of pressure on myself and in the beauty pageants to look a certain way. I mean, I'm gonna go on the record here and say, like, beauty pageants are awful for children's self esteem. And like, they teach you to ignore your emotions until you go to your hotel room, and that's when you can cry it out. And it was this toxic environment of, like, who's more beautif Things like that. And at such a young age, it confuses you. And so over the years, I developed my own eating disorder, and that bled into my career as well.
Alex Cooper
When you're Performing, you have to be okay. You gotta go up there, you gotta put a smile on your face, gotta make everyone else feel great. But that's not how you felt on the inside. What do you remember depression feeling like as a seven year old?
Demi Lovato
As a seven year old, when my depression started to kick in, it was more of like this fascination of death. And for some reason I had this like understanding that life was only going to get more difficult. And so I had suicidal ideations from age of seven. So much so that like my school called my parents and they had me sign like this contract saying that I wouldn't do anything to myself. And so I entered therapy and guidance counseling at the school at 7 years old. And you know, it's something that I still deal with occasionally. And I just think it's a part of. It's just something that I've learned to accept and manage.
Alex Cooper
Yeah. When your parents got that call and you got into therapy, was there like regular check ins and because you worked, working also at the time, at a young age, like, was there a regimen of like checking in on Demi and making sure she was okay?
Demi Lovato
I was so young that I don't really remember. And I remember the, the person that actually saw the contract was my great grandmother because I was, I went to her house afterwards and she was like, well, please don't do that. Like, are you okay? And, and so yeah, there was probably check ins, but I, I don't really remember them because I was so young.
Alex Cooper
What was your peer dynamic when you were in school?
Demi Lovato
My peer dynamic when I was in school was difficult. You know, I was thrown from being on Barney where I homeschooled for like a year. Then I went back to school and I'd actually learned more when I was homeschooling to where like when I went back to school, I was like helping her show the class, like, this is what I've learned and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But when I went back to school, you know, there was a lot of drama. There was a lot of. It was the, the sixth grade, seventh grade drama. That's the worst. It's the absolute worst with preteen girls. They're just mean.
Alex Cooper
That age is when like, I personally know, like bullying started for me. Like, that is the worst fucking age. That's when it all goes down. What were you bullied for?
Demi Lovato
So there was this whole incident where the main week that I was bullied, I had actually gotten the opportunity. I was already performing at like, you know, USO bases and like little car Dealerships here and there that would have, like, festivals and whatever. I had the opportunity to open for Jojo, the singer. And this was when Get Out Leave was, like, on top of the charts, and. And as a preteen, we're all like, go, Jojo. Because she's our age, right? So, anyways, she. I had the opportunity to open for her, and I invited one of the girls that was in my clique of friends, and I got the opportunity to go backstage and meet her after I opened for her, and the other girl didn't, And I used her camera. It was like this disposable camera. And when I got back to school, she gave me all the pictures from the show, but the. The one of me and JoJo was missing, and I was like, where did that one go? And she was like, oh, it just didn't develop. And I was like, bitch. Like, I. I know that it developed, and you're just salty about it. So that week turned into, like, hell for me. And all of a sudden, it turned. Well, there was drama around that. The picture not showing up. But then people took sides. And I remember it was like, mean girls, like, walking into the cafeteria where, like, the popular girls hated me. Anybody that wanted to be popular hated me. The popular guys hated me, and they have all the power in school. And at one point, I was, like, hiding in a bathroom, and I called my mom, and I was like, I need to get out of here. They signed a suicide petition. They passed it around and got people to sign it saying, if you. We want Demi to kill herself. And it was just. It was awful. And so. And they said some other mean stuff in there that, like, was just really hurtful. And so I ended up leaving and homeschooling. And it was a blessing in disguise because it gave me motivation to keep going. And it also gave me all this free time after I did my schoolwork to practice music for three, four hours a day. And I did that for years.
Alex Cooper
You were kind of getting bullied, I think, because you were having success, right? Like, you were kind of starting to make it. People were jealous at that age. They're super insecure. We all know how that goes. But do you think you then leaned into your craft because it was kind of like your escape from what you'd been going through?
Demi Lovato
I leaned into my craft, but I also leaned into my eating disorder because the reasons that they gave me for bullying, where they were like, you're a slut. You're a whore. Meanwhile, I'm 20, and I've only Had my first kiss, and they were like, and you're fat. And they started calling the house saying they were from Jenny Craig and they wanted Demi. And so I was like, well, I guess that's their reason for me being hated so much. I guess it's because I'm fat. And I developed an eating disorder at 12, and it was really hard. But, yes, at the same time, I used it as motivation. Like, I'm gonna make my name so in your face that you can never escape me again. And it felt really good when that finally came true.
Alex Cooper
So you make it to Disney Channel.
Demi Lovato
Yes.
Alex Cooper
Which I was saying is basically. And winning an Oscar as a child, like, at that age. Are you kidding? Let's watch a Disney Channel movie. I'm like, okay. Like, I. Can you tell? I've literally watched all of it. I do so, too. Everything to paint the picture, like, who was also acting on Disney around that same time as you.
Demi Lovato
It was the golden era of Disney. I mean, there was one golden era where it was like, Raven and Hilary Duff. And then it, like, moved into this other golden era where it was like, Hannah Montana had just started, like, a year or so before High School Musical had just happened. Selena was on Wizards, and I auditioned for the Jonas Brothers TV show, and I was up for the role of their female best friend or whatever. And I remember I didn't get it. And I was crushed. I was heartbroken. But Disney was like, but we wanna see you for these other two projects. And I was like, okay. I had taken the hardest no in my life. And I was just like, I don't know if I wanna go audition again, but I will. So I did. I went and auditioned, and I ended up booking them both. One was Sunny with a Chance and one was Camp Rock. So, like, that for me was like, I. My own movie and my own TV show. Are you kidding? Like, on Disney Channel? And I knew my life was about to change.
Alex Cooper
Was there competition amongst the big actors on Disney?
Demi Lovato
Even though I'm a competitive person, I really, like, quieted that voice because I was like, it's not worth it. We all have our own talents. And that's why I'm not jealous of any artist today, is because, like, we all have our own lanes and someone has to fill my lane.
Alex Cooper
You know, as, like, a young girl watching those shows, I was always like, demi seems like she would. Like, I could be friends with her.
Demi Lovato
Oh, thank you.
Alex Cooper
Eating my hair in my room. Be like, I could be friends with him eating my hair.
Demi Lovato
Literally, the most perfect hair by the way we've already had this conversation.
Alex Cooper
But it is funny because you, you really gave that vibe of, like, relatable and like someone that you could be friends with.
Demi Lovato
It was the bangs.
Alex Cooper
The Camp Rock bangs.
Demi Lovato
It was the bangs.
Alex Cooper
It was the bangs. And you brought the bangs back today.
Demi Lovato
Today.
Alex Cooper
Okay, what pieces of your personal life did Disney have a say on once you started working with them?
Demi Lovato
So there were expectations on you to be a role model, because all of a sudden you're thrust into that position whether you want to be or not. Like, you're on shows that kids are watching. You can't be seen at a party with a red cup in your hand because it looks like it could be alcohol. And people online, like, there was this website called Ocean up and OceanUp would just like take all scandalous things that were happening to Disney actors and put it on there. And so we lived in fear of that website. It wasn't really ever Disney saying, you can't do this, you can't do that. But if something happened, there would be conversations. And I will say that, like, that pressure of you're replaceable was always there. Not necessarily ever said by Disney, but they didn't have to because it was like, Disney is the hottest thing for teenagers to be on and there are millions of kids that want to be in your place. And so you have to be on your best behavior or else, you know, there's the next girl in line that could book the movie that you're supposed to be in. What people don't know is that the amount of work we had to do every year. I filmed a season of a TV show, I went on tour, I made an album and I shot a movie. And I did that for like three or four years. I think it was three. But if I had a hiatus from my show, I would have the tour bus pull up to the studio and take me on tour for one week or I would fly to London to do promo. And I remember one day I woke up, I was so tired and, like, just drained from how much work I was doing as a 16 year old. I woke up and I just started crying. And my mom was like, what's wrong? And I was like, I'm so tired. And then she started crying too. She was like, me too. And it was like this sad, kind of hilarious moment. And we were like, okay, put, you know, put ourselves together. We gotta do this. And so there was this extreme workload that I think put a lot of pressure on us. And that's why some of us Turn to. I personally turned to, if you're gonna work me like an adult, I'm gonna party like an adult. And that at 16, 17 wasn't healthy at all.
Alex Cooper
When you had that moment with your mom, do you wonder if she ever thought to be like, hey, like, you don't have to, you know.
Demi Lovato
I think my parents were also under the, you know, impression that someone will take your place if you don't commit to this stuff. And so I'd sit down with my management and my dad and we'd go over the schedule. And the thing was, is I was also bipolar and so, and I was unmedicated. So there would be times where I'd have this like all this energy and I'd look at my schedule and be like, I could do that, that, that, that. Plus this is the COVID of Cosmo. Like I want to do that. It's cover of 17. Like I want to do that. I didn't want to miss anything. I had like major FOMO if I did. So I just kept, kept on pushing. But then by the time it would get there, I'd fall into like a depression and it'd be really hard to.
Alex Cooper
Work at that age. Technically, at 16, you are the thing that's making all the money for all the people around you. And if you stop, it all ends.
Demi Lovato
And also at a certain point, I was paying for the roof over my whole family's head. And my dad had quit his job to become my manager, so his income was coming from me. My mom was a stay at home mom. Didn't, you know, wasn't reliant on, well, I mean, kind of was, but it was just that pressure of like, I'm paying for everything and like, I need to keep going because if things start, start to disappear, so does the finances.
Alex Cooper
So you reference if I'm going to be treated like an adult, I'm going to party like an adult. Yes. At what point in your Disney career did you begin experimenting with drugs?
Demi Lovato
So I experiment, started experimenting for the first time When I was 12, I got into OR 13, I got into a car accident and they prescribed me opiates. And my mom didn't think that she'd have to like lock up the opiates from her 13 year old daughter. But like I was already drinking at that point. I was, you know, had been bullied, was looking for an escape. And when my mom saw how many of the pills had disappeared and how fast they did, she took them away, locked him up. But yeah, I drank a lot in my teenage years. And then it wasn't till I was about 17 that I started. Well, that's not even true. Like, there were times where I'd get certain kinds of pills throughout. Like 15, 16. I'd steal my mom's Xanax. She had a Xanax addiction. And like, so it was off and on. And then at 17 is when it kind of was the first time, like I tried coke and like, loved it too much. And then that kind of bled into me going to treatment, like right when it. Right after I turned 18.
Alex Cooper
When you were drinking, were you drinking alone or were you going out places?
Demi Lovato
My first time drinking, I was alone and that was like, should have been a major red flag. I did. I like stole beer from my dad in the fridge, my stepdad, and took it to my room and drank four beers just to see what it was like to feel drunk. And I was a little 90 pound girl, so that was a lot. And then it started being with friends and it wasn't ever alone after that, but that was my first time.
Alex Cooper
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Demi Lovato
When it came to management's attention that I had been doing pills, they definitely were like, this can't happen and like, what's going on? And do we need to get you help? And I was really good at convincing people. Like, no, it was just like, you know, I had hard time sleeping and blah, blah, blah, or I'd make up excuses. And finally when it got to a point where it was clear that I needed help and I needed to go away, everyone was really supportive of it because it had been like kind of a long time coming.
Alex Cooper
So thinking about the whole Disney era, there was a major wave of purity ring wearing. I can't even, I can't say it with a straight face. Okay. Libby's like, holy fuck. Oh, no pun intended. No pun intended. There was a huge wave of purity ring wearing amongst Disney stars. Oh, yeah. What what the fuck was that about?
Demi Lovato
So I think it was just my purity. I had a purity ring that came from my church, like, way before Disney Channel even happened. I was like 11 or 12. And like, obviously that's not. That shouldn't have even been implemented on 11 or 12 year olds. But I was like, okay, like, I'll. I'll do this, whatever. That quickly went out the window at a certain point. And then I left the others to have their purity adventures on their own. But, I mean, to each their own. I don't know. It was an interesting thing to come out publicly and say it really was.
Alex Cooper
Because I remember being that age and, like, I should have been apparently wearing one because I was, like, Catholic at the time. God. I mean, like, burned. But I'm like, why are people wearing these things? And it was. It was so such an interesting. It almost at the time, when I look back on, it really felt like the Disney kids, like, were getting older. And it felt like a way to, like, really cement. Like, no, we're really good kids and we don't do anything bad. And it's like, look at my. Look at my finger. Like, oh, they wear a purity ring, right?
Demi Lovato
I don't. I don't know. Like, I had one and I think I talked about it, like, once, but, like. And it caught a little bit of fire, but definitely not as much as the other people wearing them. And I quickly hushed about that when I started having sex because I was.
Alex Cooper
Like, I lost it. I don't know where it went.
Demi Lovato
It broke. I think. I, like, I think it actually literally broke because it was so cheap. And then I was like, well, this is. That's my sign. Here we go.
Alex Cooper
Have you ever sat down and discussed the challenges of being inside this, this Disney machine with people like Selena Gomez, Miley Cyrus, the Jonas Brothers?
Demi Lovato
I think over the years, like, we talked about it for sure, but I do have a project in the works where I want to talk to some of those people about their experiences and other child stars as well.
Alex Cooper
Kind of like we were talking about earlier. There were all these systems in place in your life. Everyone you know, they're taking care of your career with you. And then well into adulthood, your personal life was also being controlled by people that were managing your career. Demi, in what ways was your team controlling your life?
Demi Lovato
There was someone that came into the picture, and when they came into the picture, everything in my life was controlled. I started having a sober companion, which was helpful for me, but it should not have lasted three years. And then it Became controlling around my food. And for someone in recovery from an eating disorder that's so dangerous, it actually exasperated my eating disorder to the point where I became bulimic again. From 2016 to 2018, I was dealing with that. And we're talking, like, I've never talked about this before, but there was one time where I had binged and purged one night, and I came clean to my team and said, hey, this happened. You know, I snuck out of my hotel room because they didn't let me have phones in my hotel rooms because they didn't want me to call room service. I didn't have food in my hotel room. Like, snacks in the minibar because they didn't want me to eat the snacks. Ellen talked about this on her show, where they cleared the dressing room of, like, all sugar before I would get in there. She was like, I remember that. And they. After I told them what had happened, my security guard walked by my room or was made aware that they had built. They, like, barricaded me into my hotel room. They put furniture outside of my door so that I couldn't get out and sneak out and eat if I wanted to. And so it was that level of controlling when it came to my food, which just made my eating disorder worse. One time I said, I'm throwing up blood. I need to go to treatment. I need to get help. And this was in, like, 2017. And this person looked at me and said, you're not sick enough. And I think that was his way of saying, like, no, you're not going back to treatment, because if you do, this will look bad on me. And so I didn't. I didn't go back into treatment. And, you know, less than a year later, I ended up overdosing. And so I think it was just, like, I felt trapped. I felt like I couldn't get out of this situation. And my way of, like, blowing everything up was relapsing on drugs and alcohol, because they always said, if you use, we're out. And I was like, all right, time to get out. Bye. I've learned a lot from that experience. Like, no one can control me anymore. And I was under the control for. From 18 to 25. And those are years where you're trying to figure out your adulthood. You know, you're no longer a teenager. But for some reason, I had people controlling everything I ate. You know, my business decisions were always being made for me, and now I found my voice. No one can ever do that to me again. And I feel empowered by what I went through. Because I had to grow, and I had to learn to accept that I'm my own boss.
Alex Cooper
When you. Just to clarify, when you're referencing this person is basically trying to keep you from eating. It's for the image to make sure you look thin.
Demi Lovato
Yeah.
Alex Cooper
Which helps their career.
Demi Lovato
Yeah.
Alex Cooper
And their income. Can you talk a little bit about mentally why it's so hard to push away from people that get their claws in you in that position?
Demi Lovato
Yeah, absolutely. I would even go so far as to say, like, there was a brainwashing element to it where you were totally under the impression that if I don't listen to this person who knows so much about recovery, I'm gonna lose everything. And so you put all of your trust and your faith into one person, and then from that, everyone around me listens to that one person, and they go with it. You know, if this person says, this is what it is and this is how it should be, then we listened to them, and then it became. It got to the point where, like, if they didn't like a chef that I had, they would sit me down and say, like, we don't like the chef that you have. We think that you should try someone else. And so I would say, okay. Like, I wouldn't. I just put all of my trust and faith into, you know, into people around me that I think didn't have my best interest at heart. The reason why they didn't like that chef that I had was because the chef told me. They said they read your bank statements to see what you order at Starbucks to make sure you're not getting, like, cookies or pastries or things like that. And when I found that out, I told them, and then they were like, we don't like your chef. And I was like, oh, you. You realize that. That she's the one that told me.
Alex Cooper
Hearing you talk about this, it does sound like. Not like a version of what Britney Spears went through.
Demi Lovato
Right.
Alex Cooper
Like, the controlling and the. Yeah. The micromanaging to the point where you don't even have control over your own life.
Demi Lovato
Right.
Alex Cooper
I can't imagine how alone you felt when you said, like, they had said, if I use, then they were gone. And then I used. And in a way, it was almost like your cry for help of, like, get the. Away from.
Demi Lovato
Right.
Alex Cooper
A lot of people don't understand this side of the world, and I think that's why I love having you on right now, because people. We get headlines. E. News says something about. And it's like, we don't Understand what you as a human being are going through. And people are so ruthless to quickly make a judgment of, like, oh, well, she's got all the money in the world, so her.
Demi Lovato
Right.
Alex Cooper
Well. And it's like, listen to what you're saying right now. Like, this is a nightmare.
Demi Lovato
Right. And I couldn't talk about it. I felt trapped. And, you know, I don't know how many people have gone through that situation, but it is. It is really sad.
Alex Cooper
In a Bustle article, you asked the question, what do I want my relationship with my manager to look like without enmeshing my own father issues onto him? What did you mean by that? How were your father issues affecting your relationship with your manager?
Demi Lovato
I had such interesting relationships with my dads. And the abandonment issue from my birth father was so deeply rooted inside of me that when it came to management, I placed that fatherly figure role onto him and onto this other person that I have mentioned. And so when looking for a new manager, I wanted to find someone that I don't place that fatherly figure role onto and that it's just business.
Alex Cooper
In your documentary, Dancing with the Devil.
Demi Lovato
Yes.
Alex Cooper
You reveal your virginity was taken from you.
Demi Lovato
Yeah.
Alex Cooper
You were raped. Is it possible to heal from an experience like that?
Demi Lovato
I think in a way, time can heal wounds. Maybe not all of them. The more time that has gone by, the easier it has gotten. But there's still a sadness, a deep sadness inside of me that someone took that from me at such a young age. And it was hard because this person was also around. Like, they were also on Disney. And so seeing them around was just was difficult. And it really messed up my teenage years. And finally I went and got help for that. And it's been something that I've worked on, but, you know, I've had other traumas happen, and it kind of pushes those to the side a little bit. But there are moments where I, like, I definitely will cry and just feel the sadness inside of me because, you know, that's healthy to do. Rather than bottle it up, I just will allow myself to have those moments of, like, that was really sad what happened to you. And you're a fighter. Like, you can get through it.
Alex Cooper
I mean, I can't imagine at that young of an age having to still have someone be on Disney and having to see someone that did that to you. I mean, you are a survivor.
Demi Lovato
Thank you. And. And to be clear, like, it wasn't anyone in the immediate Disney circle. You know, like, I've had people ask, you know, questions of, like, Was it this person or was it that person? And it was like, I don't think it'd be anybody that anyone would guess, but they were friends with someone on set, and they'd come around. And. Yeah.
Alex Cooper
So many people, especially young women, listen to my podcast that have been sexually assaulted, and it's a really. It's complicated. If you've never been through it, how do you give someone advice on that? Right. And so where have you generated the strength to keep going through trauma?
Demi Lovato
I think that I've just had a lot of trauma in my life, and there's a persistence, a determination inside of me, and I think I learned that from, like, the bullying experience of, like, you can turn this around and make it into something great. And I'm not saying that I've turned sexual assault into anything great, but, you know, I've. I've written about it in music. I've healed from it, and it's just made me stronger.
Alex Cooper
You are so fucking strong, and it is written all over your new album.
Demi Lovato
Thank you.
Alex Cooper
I was listening to it in my car. I feel like that's also the best place to listen to new music when.
Demi Lovato
You'Re like, it's the best.
Alex Cooper
The best.
Demi Lovato
Yeah, the best.
Alex Cooper
You're, like, by yourself, you're listening, and you're just like. So first of all, I just want to say I'm a huge fan of your new album.
Demi Lovato
Thank you.
Alex Cooper
Holy fuck. Holy fuck is the album. And also, holy fuck, it's so fucking good. Thank you. Demi, I need to know, how does this album reflect where you are in your life right now?
Demi Lovato
This album, it reflects this album. Like, actually, there's a journey to it. So, like, in the beginning of the album, you can hear my anger. You can hear, like, I left treatment in December this last year, getting help again, and I'm sober again, and I feel great. But, like, there was all these emotions that I left Treatment with, and I wanted to convey them in my music. And so the first few songs are, like, really angry. And it's like, this is who I am. Take it or leave it. I know what you're saying about me online. Like, Demi leaves rehab again. Like, like, I. I see you. I hear you. And then as I started to heal, I was like, you know what? I'm actually, like, getting happier. And I was owning my sexuality in a lot of the songs. And then my album became like. So it was, like, angry than, like, sex, and then, like, love songs.
Alex Cooper
Your songs are incredibly personal, and you always give insight into your life, and I feel like, that's why your fans are obsessed with you. It's cuz you're like, you put it all out there and that's why we love Demi Lovato. It's like we. And. And I appreciate that because, you know, sometimes we don't get a lot from people and you're like, this is me, this is me, this is me. But oh my God. Everyone's like, stop, Alex. But I. I appreciate that. And in the tone of one of the songs, like you are fighting and you're like, I have something to say and I'm going to address it as I always address my journey and I always talk about what the I'm going through. And so why would this be any different?
Demi Lovato
Right?
Alex Cooper
Album the song 29.
Demi Lovato
Yes.
Alex Cooper
What inspired you to write this song?
Demi Lovato
I went to treatment after turning 29. I did a lot of work on myself and I had this realization when I turned 29 that I came out of treatment with anger. I came out of treatment with understanding and growth. And so it was like a reflective song for me. And even though there's undertones of anger, it was like, I really learned a lot about that experience and I decided to write about it.
Alex Cooper
To anyone that hasn't listened to the song, you need to go listen to it. Just a couple of the lines to give them a Too young to drink wine. Just five years, a bleeder student and a teacher far from innocent. What the fuck is consent numbers? Told you not to, but that didn't stop you. Now I'm finally 29. Funny just like you were at the time. What do you hope people take away from these lyrics?
Demi Lovato
If you're a young girl and you think that it's sexy or fun to date older men, it's not okay unless you're of age. It's portrayed as like, oh, you scored someone older. That's cool. And it's like, actually, that's weird. So it's just like a reflective moment of like, if you are in that situation, just listen to this song and like kind of think about it.
Alex Cooper
How did you decide to release it as a single?
Demi Lovato
Well, it was hard. It was really hard for me to release this as a single because it's so emotional for me and so personal. But I think sometimes the public needs the truth. And that's why I decided to release it as a single because I think the message is so important.
Alex Cooper
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Demi Lovato
First of all, I don't have sex to my own music.
Alex Cooper
Demi, come on. I'll have sex, too. Go for it.
Demi Lovato
Go for it. I just. I feel. I would feel weird about it.
Alex Cooper
If you had to.
Demi Lovato
If I had to.
Alex Cooper
People listening. Which song should they fuck to?
Demi Lovato
Well, it depends. If you're trying to be like. Like, sensual and sensual listen to come together. If you're trying to, like, bang it out, bang it out. You know what? If you're trying to bang it out, listen to Bones. Bones is like. It's like, I want to jump your bones. That's the hook.
Alex Cooper
We are not in Disneyland anymore, guys. Disney Channel is dead. Demi fucking Lovato, you are fucking back with a vengeance. I'M obsessed. Speaking of sex, Demi, gotta get us a little tea. Are you dating anyone?
Demi Lovato
I. Yeah, I'm dating somebody.
Alex Cooper
Look at that grin. Okay, we don't need, like, too many deets, but, like, how's it going? Like, what's the vibe?
Demi Lovato
It's going really well.
Alex Cooper
It's going well?
Demi Lovato
Yeah. Can I say that it's your life. Yeah, it's my life.
Alex Cooper
No more looking at your team. Yeah, it's your fucking life.
Demi Lovato
It's my life. Yeah, it's going really well. Yeah.
Alex Cooper
Okay. When you are dating someone, what is the most important thing you look for in a partner?
Demi Lovato
I have to laugh. Like, someone I've been, you know, I've dated people that were beautiful or, you know, sexy. And it's like, I still am. Like, the person I'm dating is so hot and so sexy, and I am obsessed. But, like, the most important thing is, like, eventually, over time, you know, we grow old and looks fade and things like that. Like, you have to find someone that completely understands you. But most importantly to me, makes me laugh.
Alex Cooper
I'm, like, so happy for you, because I can tell it's, like, fresh, and it's great. Cause you are fully, fully blushing. You're like, stop. Demi, new you. We don't ask for permission. What do you want to say? We're not. We're not saying names here. Unless you want to say his name. Okay. You're gonna go on tour, right?
Demi Lovato
Yes. So excited.
Alex Cooper
Is it hard to date while you're on tour?
Demi Lovato
I found that it's actually kind of easy if you make sure that you see each other, like, okay. Once every two, three weeks.
Alex Cooper
Okay. Fun.
Demi Lovato
It's important to, like, to. And it's also FaceTime. Like, FaceTime is really helpful, and I'm sure, like, it's like, I think what's gonna suck is being away from the person that you're dating. But, like, ultimately, it kind of builds anticipation, too, for when you do see them. And it's, like, so exciting, you know, so exciting.
Alex Cooper
And I think it's also the test of, like. Like, if you can make it through that. Like, that's a great strength. Building core exercise. What the fuck am I saying? Okay, when you go on tour, what are you looking, like, most forward to when you're going on this upcoming tour?
Demi Lovato
Rocking out. Because I did, you know, the pop music and kind of R and B pop, which was fun. But also, at the same time, I felt like it wasn't me. Like, I was trying too hard to be sexy, and I was in the little leotards and the, you know, stiletto. He. And I wasn't comfortable. And so I want to be comfortable on the stage and I will be. And I can just completely be myself, which is going to be so exciting.
Alex Cooper
Will we be seeing like a little old Demi music vibe also on tour?
Demi Lovato
Old music? Yes, you will, definitely. Because it matches the sound. And I've also. Which is the most exciting. I've also turned like my hits into the style of music that I'm doing today. So, like, you know, cool for the summer sounds totally different. Heart Attack sounds totally different. Confidence sounds totally different. And it's like, it's so exciting. Sorry, not sorry. Like, all of those songs sound totally different. And I'm like so excited for everyone to hear it. You know, I started out with really great instincts on how to be myself and I strayed away from it because I wanted, I wanted hits, I wanted what people wanted to hear. And so I lost myself for a long period of time when it came to me musically. And I've never had an experience in the studio like I've had making this album where it's just so fulfilling. So myself. And it's just so fun to sing and I can't wait to perform it.
Alex Cooper
Demi Lovato, thank you so much for coming on Call Her Daddy with me. Thank you.
Demi Lovato
Thank you so much.
Alex Cooper
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Podcast Summary: Call Her Daddy Featuring Demi Lovato (FBF) Release Date: August 15, 2025
Introduction and Welcome Alex Cooper kicks off the episode by warmly welcoming Demi Lovato to "Call Her Daddy," highlighting the unique connection as Demi’s mother is also a fan of the podcast. The conversation sets the stage for an intimate and candid discussion about Demi’s personal and professional journey.
Turning 30: A Milestone of Self-Discovery As Demi approaches her 30th birthday, she reflects on what this milestone means to her. She shares, "Turning 30 to me has been like, I'm excited for my 30s and what that holds" (05:14). Alex resonates with Demi’s perspective, emphasizing the societal pressures often associated with this age and celebrating the journey of self-realization.
Early Performances and Overcoming Stage Fright Demi recounts her initial forays into performing, starting at the age of five and later touring with the Jonas Brothers at 15. She admits, "I was so nervous, but I figured it out, and I found my groove" (08:40). This section highlights her growth from a timid young performer to a confident artist gracing massive stages.
Navigating Family Dynamics and Mental Health Demi delves into her complicated relationship with her biological father, who struggled with mental illness and addiction. She shares heartbreaking insights, saying, "Our conversations went from 'how are you?' to 'I'm doing a movie with Steven Spielberg'" (10:53). This strained relationship significantly impacted her emotional well-being, leading to early encounters with depression and suicidal ideations.
The Impact of Beauty Pageants and Body Image Starting beauty pageants at seven, Demi discusses the unrealistic beauty standards imposed by her mother, herself battling an eating disorder from a young age. She candidly states, "Beauty pageants are awful for children's self-esteem" (12:19). The pressure to maintain a certain appearance became a recurring theme in her life and career.
Bullying and Its Long-Lasting Effects Demi opens up about severe bullying during her school years, particularly after an incident involving a missing photo from a JoJo concert. She describes the ordeal: "They passed around a suicide petition saying we want Demi to kill herself" (15:45). This trauma led her to homeschool, which inadvertently provided her the time and space to hone her musical talents.
Rise to Disney Stardom and the Pressures Within Transitioning to her Disney career, Demi reflects on the expectations placed upon her as a role model. She explains the intense workload, saying, "I filmed a season of a TV show, I went on tour, I made an album and I shot a movie" (21:28). The relentless schedule contributed to her mental exhaustion and strained relationship with her management team.
Struggles with Substance Abuse Demi discusses her early experimentation with alcohol and drugs, beginning at age 12 after a car accident. She recounts, "I was looking for an escape" (25:29). Her struggles intensified as she tried to cope with the pressures of fame, ultimately leading her to seek treatment after a severe overdose.
Controlling Management and Its Consequences A significant portion of the conversation focuses on the controlling nature of Demi’s management team, particularly regarding her diet and personal freedoms. She reveals, "They barricaded me into my hotel room" (34:11), highlighting the detrimental impact this had on her recovery and autonomy. This overreach contributed to her relapse and eventual decision to reclaim control over her life and career.
Healing from Sexual Assault Demi bravely shares her experience of sexual assault during her time with Disney, emphasizing the long-term emotional scars it left. She reflects, "There's still a sadness inside of me that someone took that from me at such a young age" (41:18). This traumatic event continues to influence her mental health journey and artistic expression.
Musical Evolution and Empowerment Discussing her latest album, Demi explains how it mirrors her personal growth and healing process. She states, "The first few songs are really angry... and then my album became like... love songs" (45:17). The album serves as a therapeutic outlet, allowing her to convey complex emotions and experiences through her music.
Personal Life and Relationships In a lighter segment, Demi touches on her current romantic relationship. She expresses happiness and satisfaction, noting, "It’s going really well" (51:00). The conversation shifts to balancing personal life with her demanding tour schedule, highlighting the importance of communication and quality time.
Upcoming Tour and Artistic Authenticity Looking forward, Demi shares her excitement about her upcoming tour, emphasizing her desire to perform authentically and comfortably. She mentions, "I want to be comfortable on the stage and I can just completely be myself" (53:08). Her focus is on connecting with audiences genuinely, showcasing both her new and classic songs in refreshed styles.
Closing Thoughts and Empowerment Alex and Demi wrap up the episode by acknowledging Demi’s resilience and strength. Alex praises Demi’s new album, and Demi reiterates her commitment to personal growth and authenticity. The episode concludes on an empowering note, celebrating Demi’s journey and her unwavering spirit.
Notable Quotes:
This episode of "Call Her Daddy" offers a raw and unfiltered glimpse into Demi Lovato's life, shedding light on her struggles, triumphs, and the resilience that continues to define her both personally and professionally.