Heather McMahan: Golf Wives, Hall Passes & Frat Daddies (FBF)

Summary

Podcast Summary: Call Her Daddy – Heather McMahan: Golf Wives, Hall Passes & Frat Daddies

Date: September 26, 2025
Host: Alex Cooper
Guest: Heather McMahan

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Episode Overview

In this lively and laugh-filled episode, Alex Cooper welcomes comedian Heather McMahan for a deep dive into everything from the golf-wife experience to marriage dynamics, college antics, and the particulars of millennial trends. The conversation is openly hilarious, occasionally raunchy, and deeply relatable, with Heather’s signature self-deprecating humor on full display.

Topics jump from domestic chaos and anxious overachiever spirals, to college sorority tales, evolving fashion disasters, marriage quirks, and the not-so-glamorous reality of the “hall pass” dream scenario. The episode bubbles with memorable soundbites, mutual encouragement, and the kind of sisterly candor that defines Call Her Daddy.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Meeting for the First Time & Comic Chemistry

Timestamps: 01:51 – 06:40

• Heather and Alex discuss finally meeting IRL after virtual run-ins (with wigs at 6am!) and discovering their overlapping circles, especially through Jackie Schimmel.
• Heather’s stand-up leaves Alex in hysterics (“I was doing my makeup this morning, watching it, laughing, like, hysterically.” – [02:47])
• They share pet horror stories, setting the irreverent tone early (French bulldog barf, Clorox, dog diarrhea).

2. Marriage, Husbands & Domestic Roles

Timestamps: 04:45 – 17:29

• Both hosts joke about their husbands’ household contributions, flipping standards and the breadwinner dynamic.
• Anxiety’s odd emergence “when life started getting good” and living with the pressure of success ([05:54–06:22]).
• The unique “golf widow” life—husbands obsessed with the sport for escape, status, and ego (“There is nothing that gives a man a bigger boner than sinking a putt.” – Heather, [14:41])
• Secretly leveling up at golf to humble their husbands (Heather: “I have a gal on the LPGA… I’m getting good.” – [15:17])
• Endearing portraits of their marriages as partnerships built on friendship, humor, and mutual support. ([15:52–17:22])

3. College Chronicles: Sororities, Rush, and “Frat Daddies”

Timestamps: 23:20 – 34:08

• Heather’s University of Mississippi experience boiled down to “Unhinged. Mayonnaise. Elated.” ([23:23])
• Wild party tales (including witnessing a frat guy snorting coke off a chicken tender at Alabama: “I called my daddy and I said, I’m going to Ole Miss.” – [24:28])
• Sorority rush detailed—from “door songs” to extreme welcome rituals and why hazing wasn’t on her menu.
• Anecdotes on college dorm setups vs. today’s social media-fueled, hyper-styled rooms.

4. Millennial Trends: Hits & Misses

Timestamps: 34:08 – 54:03

• The side part vs. middle part wars, fashion traumas, and the evolution of beauty expectations (“I have an intense cowlick, and if you knew the amount of time, effort, and Orbe dry texture spray holding me together…” – Heather, [35:03])
• A mutual nostalgia (and horror) over side bangs, skinny jeans, gauchos (“You didn’t even have to take them off. They could just… finger you, you know, and that was fun.” – Heather, [53:06])
• Shoe trends, foot fetishes, and wikiFeet drama (Heather: “One person left me a bad review on WikiFeets, and it’s knocked my rating down to, like, a 3.5. Very upset.” – [42:15])
• Openness about body image, owning personal “best assets,” and not taking TikTok dorm glow-ups seriously.

5. Family & Adulting: Living with Mom

Timestamps: 55:29 – 60:31

• Heather and Jeff (her husband) still live with Heather’s mom—by choice and comfort (“I don’t know why… The thought of her sitting at home alone on a Friday just gives me chills.” – Heather, [56:14])
• Explores the comedy and coziness, the reality of intergenerational living, and her mom’s struggles (and mishaps) with online dating.
• Sex while living at home: “My husband… gets treated like a king. I’m the one who gets yelled at.” – [56:14]
• Playful but real, the dynamic underscores Heather’s family-centered worldview.

6. Sex, Blowjobs, and “Breadwinner”

Timestamps: 60:31 – 67:06

• Heather’s standup bits about blowjobs get a spotlight. She pulls no punches: “The last thing I have ever thought about while I have a dick in my mouth is that dick in my mouth. I am thinking about the drama that is going on in the Nextdoor app.” – [63:04]
• The hen’s nest of multitasking women: “I think all men are slightly on the spectrum and all women have ADHD.” – [67:09]
• Open discussion on boundaries, marriage, and being honest about what’s sexy (and what’s not).

7. “Hall Pass” Scenarios & The Kate Upton Incident

Timestamps: 71:34 – 77:12

• Heather recounts her husband Jeff’s “hall pass” being supermodel Kate Upton, and the night they were invited, via Instagram DM, to a cocktail hour at Upton’s house in Turks & Caicos.
• “Jeff immediately… had a full boner. Full boner. Standing on the welcome mat.” – Heather, [72:19]
• Handling awkwardness, the layers of celebrity, and poking fun at how women often orchestrate their partner’s wildest dreams.
• Ultimately, Heather didn’t get her dream—tickets to Eras Tour—but survived a surprise climb of the Sydney Harbor Bridge: “I have a fear of outdoor heights… I cried when we got off the bridge, and I’m not a—I’m a tough cookie.” – [75:54]

8. Comedy Career & Heather’s Special

Timestamps: 80:49 – 83:06

• Heather details how she self-produced her new Hulu comedy special, “Breadwinner,” at Atlanta’s iconic Fox Theatre.
• The joy of building a career on her own terms: “The one thing I really love about standup is nobody can tell me no… as long as there are asses in seats… that is—the greatest love of my life, other than my family—is getting to do stand up.” – [81:08]
• Encouragement to others to take charge: “If you build it, they will come.”
• Hilarious preview: “I’m wearing a denim outfit that’s bedazzled and it is probably going to be one of the greatest pieces of art and comedy ever seen. It should be nominated for awards or at least give me a Mark Twain comedy award award.” – [82:29]

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Notable Quotes & Moments

On Husbands and Golf:

• “Any man who wears a visor, that’s an immediate—my vagina just shrivels up.” – Heather [13:24]
• “There is nothing that gives a man a bigger boner than sinking a putt.” – Heather [14:41]

On Anxiety and Success:

• “I never really had bad anxiety until my life started getting good, which is weird.” – Heather [05:54]
• “I was rock bottom. I was like, fuck yeah. Pussy popping, let’s ride.” – Heather [06:22]

On Female Friendship & Marriage:

• “Jeff is my buddy. We fudge hard, but he is my buddy. I don’t want to hang out with anybody else other than him.” – Heather [15:52]

On College Life:

• “I called my daddy and I said, I’m going to Ole Miss. Like, I like to party, but this is—this is another world.” – Heather [24:28]

On Blowjobs & Multitasking:

• “The last thing I have ever thought about while I have a dick in my mouth is that dick in my mouth.” – Heather [63:04]

On Hall Passes:

• “I just kind of gave him that, like, you, Jeff look.” – Heather, after surprising her husband with Kate Upton ([72:43])

On Creating Your Own Path:

• “In this business, you cannot wait around for people… I just shot it.” – Heather on producing her comedy special ([81:08])

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Marriage & Golf Wives: 09:58 – 17:22
• Sorority/Life at Ole Miss: 23:20 – 34:08
• Millennial Fashion & Fads: 34:08 – 54:03
• Living with Mom as an Adult: 55:29 – 60:31
• Sex, Career, and Comedy Special: 60:31 – 83:06
• Hall Pass Story (Kate Upton): 71:34 – 77:12

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Episode Tone & Takeaways

The episode is gloriously irreverent, feminist, honest, and unfiltered—never shying from messy realities or self-mockery. Both Alex and Heather bring refreshing candor to topics that are as mundane as bedsheets and as explosive as marital sex, all with a comedic spin rooted in real-life experience.

Final Thought:

Be the “you” today you want to be tomorrow. Embrace the chaos, chase the joy, take the stage—and never apologize for multitasking during a blowjob.

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Where to Find More

• Heather McMahan special "Breadwinner" coming soon to Hulu
• Follow Heather: @heatherkmcmahan
• Follow Alex Cooper: @alexandracooper
• Subscribe to Call Her Daddy on Sirius XM or wherever you get your podcasts

Transcript

[Alex Cooper]

Hi Daddy gang, it is your father. I am so excited that Caller Daddy has officially joined the Sirius XM family. I cannot wait to talk to new guests and continue to share my crazy personal stories and experiences with you every single week. If you want to hear new episodes ad free, subscribe to Sirius XM podcasts plus on Apple Podcasts or visit siriusxm.com podcastsplus to start your free trial today.

[Heather McMahon]

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[Alex Cooper]

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[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

I'm so excited to put on my.

[Alex Cooper]

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[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

What is up, Daddy gang? It is your founding father, Alex Cooper.

[Alex Cooper]

With Call her daddy.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Heather McMahon, welcome to Colorado.

[Heather McMahon]

Hi, honey. How are you?

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

I am obsessed with you. Just for context, to everyone that doesn't know, we met virtually while I was in Paris.

[Heather McMahon]

Yes.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

You popped onto my live show. I had the best time with you.

[Heather McMahon]

It was so much fun and it was like 6am at home and. And your team was like, hey, do you have a couple wigs that you could just throw on real quick? And I'm like, yeah, sure. Let me just go down to my office and get my wigs.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Yeah, you pulled out all the subs. But I'm more Heather, like, how the.

[Alex Cooper]

Have we never met before?

[Heather McMahon]

I know. I feel like this is now a kismet moment.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Right?

[Heather McMahon]

We've been circling in this. Well, we've been on the, you know, we've been circling around on the outside. We were circling the drain and now we're just fully going to the gutter.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

You're close with Jackie Schimmel?

[Heather McMahon]

Yes. Jackie's like my best friend and every.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Time I feel like she's ever. I've ever heard her talk about you. She's like, she's the funniest person I've ever met. And I'm like, well, at first I thought Jackie was the funniest person I've ever met. And love you, Jackie.

[Heather McMahon]

You're way more hysterical.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

You're funnier. I watched your stand up, which we're gonna get to. Yeah, it's amazing.

[Heather McMahon]

You're so sweet. Thank you.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Like, I was doing my makeup this morning, watching it, laughing, like, hysterically.

[Heather McMahon]

I like that.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

It's brilliant.

[Heather McMahon]

You like? That's the response. I love when people like, hey, I think I got a UTI after watching your special. I'm like, I did my.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

It's how I felt Also, I just want to let you know that I'm on, like, too many cups of coffee right now because, yeah, last night I didn't sleep for a minute because my dog has explosive diarrhea.

[Heather McMahon]

Oh, I've been there, honey. I have two French bulldogs. It is a dry heap. It is a. Every morning I wake up and I bought, like, expensive sheets. That's one of the things I did when I started making money to treat myself. There is. My thread count is so fucked. There is a Frenchie barf every single night in the middle of the night.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

But I feel like you would prefer a barf over diarrhea.

[Heather McMahon]

Honestly, at this point, it's all starting to look and smell the same, so it's not great either way. It comes out. No, Heather.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

I literally was like. So I'm watching TV last night. My husband falls asleep early. It's like, 11:30. I'm watching, like, the Perfect Couple with Nicole Kidman, which is. It's a thing. I've got feelings.

[Heather McMahon]

Yeah.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Yeah. I have feelings, too, but, you know, there's nothing to watch, so I'm, like, trying to enjoy myself. Matt's like, I can't watch this trash. I'm like, shut the fuck up, then go to bed.

[Heather McMahon]

Right?

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

I hear the little noise, and I'm like.

[Heather McMahon]

You hear from the stomach, like, the gurgle. That wet gurgle. That's the word.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

It's more of a little bit of, like.

[Heather McMahon]

Like some farts. Yeah, yeah. Some bubbles. Like, my God, why am I being demure? Being like, did you. Did your dog fart?

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Like, it was more of, like, a splatter. Like a. Like a big splatter. People hate when I talk about shit on this show, but I don't give a shit. Okay?

[Heather McMahon]

You're in your 30s, and you haven't shit yourself at a Costco in the last six months, then you actually need to see a doctor. Get your life right.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Like, fuck off. Okay, so he's splattering, and I wake my husband up, and I'm like, matt Bruce just shit all over the carpet, right? And Matt is like, okay, what do.

[Heather McMahon]

You want me to do?

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Go clean it up now. I have never cleaned their shit ever. If it's, like, in the house, Matt is the best. And I want to talk to you about Jeff, your husband, today.

[Heather McMahon]

We'll get into that. Yeah, let's talk about Jeff.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Yeah, we're going to talk about our husbands. Because I look at Matt like, mortified. Matt never makes me really do much around the house. He's kind of like the house man, you know, Ellen, we're the breadwinners.

[Heather McMahon]

Yes.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Well, Matt's also doing fine, but whatever. Yeah. So he won't get up. And I am on my hands and knees, and I am doing the Clorox. I'm doing it all. An hour later, he shits again. And two hours later, he shits again. So you are seeing a woman who is broken today?

[Heather McMahon]

I'm seeing a woman who has literally had herself elbows deep in golden doodle doo doo. So I'm here for support. I actually have been having, like, the worst anxiety the last two days.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Why?

[Heather McMahon]

Just there's so much shit going on, and this is what I've been looking forward to most. It's just, like, I wear 65 different hats. And literally, I was at dinner last night trying to enjoy a nice, you know, porcini risotto. And I literally was, like, kind of, like, you know, geeking out a little bit.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Cause it's just. Do you get it?

[Heather McMahon]

I was short circuiting. I thought I had a stroke at dinner, and I was like, is it the aperol spritz? Do I need a beta blocker? Do I need a Lordab? Like, what do I.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

A little bit of both.

[Heather McMahon]

A little bit of both. I just took a Benadryl and I just let it fly.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Do you get anxiety a lot?

[Heather McMahon]

I never really had bad anxiety until my life started getting good, which is weird.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Like, wait, what?

[Heather McMahon]

I think it's a pressure thing. I think you just, like. And I travel so much, I think. I don't know, like, what time zone I'm in ever. Yeah, it was, like, when life was tough, I was just cruising when life got, like. Things started to, you know, start flowing. I think that's when I started to get anxious.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Why? Cause you think it's like there's more to lose. Like when you're on the up and up, you're like, I have nothing. I am worth nothing. I'm a loser.

[Heather McMahon]

I was rock bottom. I was like, fuck yeah. Pussy popping, let's ride. And now I'm just like, oh, people are relying on me. There are comments on the Internet, I don't know.

[Alex Cooper]

We're good.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

This is a safe space. The Daddy Gang is going to fucking love you and you're funny as fuck and so you're funnier than probably everyone that I've had sit in this chair. So just do your fucking thing.

[Heather McMahon]

I know everyone calls you daddy and father, but my dad is dead. Can I just call you dad? Because I'm looking for a father figure in my life.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Call me dad. I'm here for you. I've oh, I've had a lot of girls reach out being like, I had a deadbeat dad. Like, you're my dad. You're my father figure. Whatever way I can fit in fatherly to your life, I'm here for you. Heather, I'm so sorry about your dad, but it happens. But I'm here.

[Heather McMahon]

Okay, great.

[Alex Cooper]

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[Alex Cooper]

Brought to you by Adidas. When it comes to sport, pressure makes everything seem impossible. But anyone can choose to be a positive influence rather than a source of pressure. Positivity is a choice, and it has the potential to transform the experience of sport altogether. I know as I was playing sports I truly looked up to when I was a freshman and a sophomore, all of my captains, because the people that are leading are the ones that are going to genuinely impact you and how you feel. But also, you kind of have to be your own leader and you have to internally know how to motivate yourself.

[Heather McMahon]

But.

[Alex Cooper]

But support is an incredible thing. It can give someone the extra self confidence they need to hit the back of the net, push through to the finish line, or go faster, farther and higher to achieve greatness. Think about a person who believed in you when you didn't believe in yourself, who turned self doubt into self belief, pressure into joy. Without them, where would you be now? How much did their you got? This make you who you are today. When someone shows up for you daddy gang, or you show up for someone else, that can change the game, change. Change a challenge into a win. So whatever it is that you're taking on and you're looking at as a challenge in your life, we all have the power to choose. You got this. Instead of don't f this up, there's nothing like a great assist to help us remember you got this. Learn [e-mail] you got this.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Okay, we need to talk about golf because it consumes my life, Heather. And I know a huge part of your standup is you talking about your fucking husband golfing in the fucking golf. It is like every woman understands it. The golf widow thing is so fucking real. Talk to me about, like, where you're at in your golf journey. Have you seen him lately? Has he been on the golf course often? Like, what's happening?

[Heather McMahon]

I was, you know, getting full glam this morning, running around, taking calls, answering emails, and my husband's buddy put us in a group chat and sent me a photo. My husband's playing some prestigious course in the middle of nowhere, like Rock, you know, upstate New York. And it's just like, look at, you know, look at big daddy swing. And I respond, I'm fucking working. Go home. Take care of our Frenchie children. Get the fuck out of here.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

You're like, I don't give a fuck.

[Heather McMahon]

I don't give a fuck if he's, you know, letting it rip. I need oh, you're stuck in a sand trap. Not my problem.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

It's so crazy. Matt is having, like, the biggest existential crisis because his country club, even that word, it does make me kind of like, clench my butthole a little bit. He's our country club, and I say, you're a country club. He's like, it's ours, Alex. Like, you're my wife now. Like, you're a member. I'm like, I'm never going. I don't know. Maybe I will, like. But he is freaking out because it's getting closed for, like, some construction.

[Heather McMahon]

Just the course.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Oh. And so he's trying to get it. Get it in, get it in. Let's go. We got to go play. I'm like, oh, my God, you're never home.

[Heather McMahon]

I have one stipulation. So we're at our country club, and I actually think you would thrive as a country club, girly. I don't think people give country clubs. Yes, there are archaic practices there. But I love going to my country club. It's the one I grew up at, the one my grandparents remembers of. I hang out with a pack of, like, 75 year old women. They play bridge, we drink white wine, and nobody gives me shit. You know what I mean? But I did say there is a stipulation, like, in our prenup. Because I am actually the actual member of the country club. Cause I was a legacy. So my thing is, if, like, we ever divorced, like, I get the club membership. And if you don't think I'm going into the men's locker room and ripping Jeff's plaque off of his locker, you must not know me.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Oh, my God, you're gonna be married forever. Even if you hate him, he's never leaving you.

[Heather McMahon]

And I do have a great husband. So shout out to Jeff. We won't show on you this whole episode, but I do when I'm there. He got mad one day because they didn't know, like, under our membership, you know, they would always refer to him as Mr. McMahon.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Okay.

[Heather McMahon]

And he got upset one day. He was like, you know, it's just like, they don't know. I said, then Jeff, correct them. Let them know that you were Mr. Daniels. Because I didn't take my husband's last name. I'm in entertainment. I didn't want to do it. It's hard. Kids will be Daniels. Live your life. And I was like, imagine what every woman feels like, you know what I mean? If I check into a hotel and they refer to me as Ms. Daniels, I go, gladly. Like, don't let that, like, bruise your ego.

[Alex Cooper]

Right?

[Heather McMahon]

No. And pump the brakes, buddy. You get a tea. Time to make.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

It is so fucking true. They get like. I will be sitting in the hotel, and Matt will hear like, hi, Mr. Cooper. And he's like. And I'm like, it's okay, Matt. Stand up for yourself or shut the fuck up. Like, I have. And I will continue to have to do for the X amount of years that people will say, like, hi, Mrs. Kaplan, and I'm Mrs. Cooper. And I'm like, I don't care. I don't care. Because it's not emasculating me. My vagina set. And fine.

[Heather McMahon]

Like, fuck off.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

I love the golf esthetic.

[Heather McMahon]

Oh, yeah, let's talk about it.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

The golf outfits look pretty bad for women.

[Heather McMahon]

Yeah, it's pretty farty. It's. It's rough. It's a. Like, a pleated chino short that tucks right underneath where your bra fat is. It's. It's absolutely awful. I'm trying to fix it, so give me a little time.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

No, it's.

[Heather McMahon]

But I'm trying to fix it.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

How do you feel when Jeff saunters down in the morning wearing his golf outfit? Like, are you okay with the male golf outfits, or are you like, okay?

[Heather McMahon]

So the way I feel about it is, you know, I say this in the special, but, like, any man who wears a visor, that's an immediate. My vagina just shrivels up. Cause here's the thing. First of all, it looks like you can't afford the whole hat. You know what I mean? I don't know these men in visors. And then my husband will drive home from, like, the golf course. You know, sunroof is open, he's had a good match. He's singing, you know, Natasha Bedding, feel, Feel the rain on my skin. And his, like, hair is, like, flipped over the visor. So he comes in sweaties and a Peter Millar shirt, grass on a. She knows. And I just go, I'm not trying to have sex with you right now.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Why do they come back horny after golf?

[Heather McMahon]

No. Because they feel empowered because they went out and won $5 on the golf course. And then they're like, let's fudgeing. Do it.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

So I was thinking about that in your special, because I'm like, okay. They come home, and Matt does the same thing. Like, Matt is successful. Like, he does great business. He will come home, be like, I won 50 bucks. And I'm literally like, he's like, to blow me.

[Heather McMahon]

Like, no, take a shower. You smell like the outdoors. Get out of here.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

But they excited about, like, that $5.

[Heather McMahon]

Or that 10 conquered something. It's work is one thing, but when you're out there, when you're in a foursome with guys and they're, you know, it's all talking and they're like, oh, here goes Jeff. He's got a 40 foot putt and he makes it. There is nothing that gives a man a bigger boner than sinking a putt.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

It's infuriating.

[Heather McMahon]

It is infuriating. And I try and think about, like, like, what makes me that horny. And I think it. I'm really stepping up my golf game because I played growing up, and now I'm like, I really do. I want to play because it's a great sport, but I also just want to steal the joy of the. You know, the one thing that gives Jeff joy, and he's like, I love when you play with me. And we have a great time. We go out and it's like, I mean, you know, I drink wine and, you know, rip some old cigs and just have a blast in the outdoors. But I am trying to get better, to beat him, because I do. I need that for my ego.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

But you're, like, sneaky on the competitive. You're like, oh, I guess I'll play too. Jeff. Meanwhile, you're like, getting sessions in the back. You're getting full, like, coaching sessions.

[Heather McMahon]

Three coaches. Right now I have. So I have a gal on the LPGA shout out to Maria Fassi, who I send videos to, and she literally is like, we got to tighten up the swing. Oh, yeah, I'm getting good.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

But Jeff doesn't even know. So one day you're gonna come, he's.

[Heather McMahon]

Gonna hear this and be like, you, you liar.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Okay, so we don't roast our husbands this entire episode.

[Heather McMahon]

No, Jeff's the best. He puts up with my shit.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

I was.

[Heather McMahon]

Jeff is the only person who can look at me and be like, sit down. Shut the up. You're being crazy. And I'm like, yes, sir. Yes, daddy.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Yes, papa.

[Heather McMahon]

Yes.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

I was going to say, give me some, like, talk about some of your favorite things about Jeff, because then we're going to keep roasting.

[Heather McMahon]

Yeah, we'll get right back to the roast. No, Jeff is honestly, like, you know, it's interesting if you ever, like, hang out with other couples and you can tell they're not actually buddies. Like, Jeff is my buddy. I mean, yeah, we fudge hard but, like, he is my buddy. I don't want to hang out with anybody else other than him. Like, of course I love hanging out with my friends, but, like, we fucking giggle together. And I think that's.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

No, it's what you need.

[Heather McMahon]

It's what you need because you're stuck with this person.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

No. And it's so true. Like, I used to cringe online when I would hear people being like, he's my best friend. Like, no, he is. Like, matt is my best friend.

[Heather McMahon]

If you're not your friend, what are you doing?

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Right? Right. Just don't, like, say it like that. Like, girls be like, he's my best friend, and we bought her forever home together. I don't just.

[Heather McMahon]

We have matching butterfly tattoos. Like, I got one wing. He is the other. Like, okay, then you're. It's absolutely headed for divorce.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Tone it down.

[Heather McMahon]

Also, Jeff is, you know, I mean, listen, I'm a comic. I get up on stage, I rip him a new asshole. I talk about, you know, personal, intimate things in our life, and he lets me do it. And not that he, like, gives me permission, but I said early on, I was like, you know, I need you to be cool with me talking my truth and from my point of view, my perspective. And he's like, honey, I never. He is so proud of me when I'm on stage and seeing him get excited when I'm having a moment. There is no ego in him. He is never threatened. He is like, go, let it rip. Do your fucking thing. And that's what makes me horny. So he's horny on the golf course. I come off stage, and he's, like, waiting in the wings. He's like, you fucking crushed. I'm like, I am ready to sit on your face.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Yes.

[Heather McMahon]

I'm getting kind of horny right now. I know we went from anxiety. I'm a little horny. I mean, I don't know. This is a wave of emotions here.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

No, it is. When you start talking about sex on the show, sometimes people are like, oh, I got to leave and go fudge my husband or my fiance or whoever the fuck. So enjoy. You're welcome. Jeff, you're so successful as a comedian. Have you always been funny? Like, talk to me, you as a child, like, what was going on? Is Heather funny?

[Heather McMahon]

Yeah, well, you know, I was a fudgy kid and that. I was the kid who, like, always had, like, a quarter pound of fudge in their backpack. So, yeah, I think I had to be funny. But, no, I always, you know, I was always in theater and I always knew I wanted to do comedy. I mean, since I was like six, I was like, I'm gonna be. I'm gonna tell jokes. And the first time I did standup was at my junior prom and I roasted the senior class. And that was like one of those pivotal moments. I was always doing theater and I was like, you know, think about how awkward high school is. Most awkward time of your life.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Right.

[Heather McMahon]

I must be a sociopath. If I was like, I want to go up there and roast the seniors and stand up, like, that could have been social suicide.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

We need to pause because. Hold on, you did stand up at your prom?

[Heather McMahon]

Uh huh.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Pause. Are you at the prom, like, also with the date?

[Heather McMahon]

Yes, I am with a senior who invited me.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

So you're in a gown?

[Heather McMahon]

I'm in a gown. And no one knew, so. Yeah. So I pop up, literally, like from under a table with a microphone. I'm like, are y' all ready to rock? We have the video of it and it's just. It's insane.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

I have never heard of this. Like, at a prom there's usually like a band.

[Heather McMahon]

No, I was the surprise entertainment. Yeah, yeah, it was insane. And so I get up and I do like 20 minutes, and I remember walking off stage and thinking, oh, fuck, I have to do this forever. So then I just. I kind of never stopped.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Because you just knew.

[Heather McMahon]

I knew.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Yeah, but like, were you confident? Like, you didn't give a fuck what people were going to think about you at school?

[Heather McMahon]

I honestly know. And I. Listen, I went to the same school from kindergarten through 12th grade, so I also wasn't trying to impress these fuckers anymore. But no, I think that, like, listen, as a comic, if you don't feel like a touch cringy when you're trying out new shit, then you're not doing it right. Right. But no, I just. There was nothing. There was no other feeling in my life that I wanted to chase as much as that feeling of making people laugh.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Love.

[Heather McMahon]

And I'll tell you another. We're really gonna boost Jeff now. But when I. I was living in New York when I met Jeff. We've been together a long time, and I looked at him one day and I said, listen, I gotta go to la. I gotta follow this, I gotta scratch that itch. And he. We were sitting in like a buca di beppo or some shit, and he's like, I love you so much. And he's like, follow your dreams. And in that moment, I was like, oh, Fuck, I'm gonna marry this guy. Stop. Yeah. We were long distance for, like, eight years.

[Alex Cooper]

Yeah.

[Heather McMahon]

What? I know. It's. It's. I have girls call me all the time, like, heather, I'm long distance. It's been like three months with my boyfriend. I'm like, if you're not thriving in your own zone and if that person can't handle y' all doing your own thing, then you don't need to be together.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Okay, Long distance. Where you. He stayed in New York. And you went to la. Yes.

[Heather McMahon]

And, well, I was only in LA for, like, four or five years. Okay. But then I moved back to Atlanta after my dad passed and Jeff was finishing, like, a graduate program in New York. We were just back and forth. I mean, we. We just made it work. Never a breakup, never a pause. It was just always me and Jeff Daddy.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Okay? Because I'm going to be real. You and Jeff daddy are defying the odds because I have been the little cunt on my podcast. Sometimes I've been like. I don't know if, like, long distance is worth it. I used to say that also in college, mostly because I'm like, enjoy your colleges.

[Heather McMahon]

It's also not worth it because right. If you're in college, you're probably cheating.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

But you. Let's be honest, if you're in college right now, listening to this with a long distance boyfriend, you're getting cheated on.

[Heather McMahon]

Yeah. Leave it. Also just say, hey, we're going to break up during college. See you when you're working for Goldman Sachs. And you're out of here.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Done.

[Heather McMahon]

What are we doing?

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Done.

[Heather McMahon]

Yeah.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

I think that was really my vision was like, it's just too hard in college. However, when you are adult and you can make it long distance work, it's amazing. But that takes very secure people to have trust and to be okay with that. Long distance. But, like, good for you guys.

[Heather McMahon]

He used to come to all my comedy shows, and this is like when I was in New York and I, you know, performing for 10 people in an audience underneath the Brooklyn Bridge. And he'd be in his little suits from his real estate job, and he'd sit on the front row, and people thought he was my manager. So we were like, wow, your manager is, like, really dialed into your career. And I'm like, oh, no, no. I blow that guy.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Stop, stop. Honestly, it was probably kind of hot. You're, like, so hot. You're, like, looking at him like he's your business manager. You're like, ooh, we're not Supposed to, but we should. Let's go in my car. I love that for you guys. Yeah.

[Heather McMahon]

And the Jetta. I only sold the Jetta about three years ago. Kind of wish I would have kept it. Wait.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

The Jetta was the first car I ever wanted. And then I just could never get a first car until, like, I started making my own money. My parents were like, we're never getting you a car, so get a job. And I was like, oh, okay. But I always wanted a Jetta.

[Heather McMahon]

Jetta. Shout out to Volkswagen. You know, hopefully they're a great company.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Sponsor us.

[Heather McMahon]

Sponsor us. I would love a new Jetta. I'm really. When I sold that car, I was actually sad about it.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

It's a cute car.

[Heather McMahon]

And I got a sensible. I didn't go G wagon. I went, you know, hybrid, Audi Q5. Shout out to Audi sponsorship. I think I'm gonna. I want the Cayenne because that was the.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

It's.

[Heather McMahon]

That's a car my dad had, and I really want it. I was like, that's when I know. I think I might buy it.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

No, that was like. I realized that I. From your childhood really sticks with you. When I went to a private prep school that, like, I really couldn't afford, I got, like, a soccer scholarship for high school, and I didn't have a car, and so I'm taking the bus every day. And these are rolling in with, like, Maseratis because their daddies are so rich.

[Heather McMahon]

Yeah.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

And I remember there's this one that had this cool Porsche. It was the Cayenne, and she had it like. It was a white one with, like, black wheels. And I was like, whenever I get my first paycheck, that's me not working at my smoothie shop job. Like, I'm getting the fucking Porsche. And the first thing that I bought for myself for a car was the Porsche. And I'm like, the only reason I still got it was because I think of that girl. I can't say her name is Core.

[Heather McMahon]

Memory, but it's that Core Memory being like, michelle has it. Yes, I'm getting it.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

I was like. And I'm like, I don't even know if I actually wanted the Porsche. I was literally just, like, living out my, like, high school insecurity, being like, I finally got it. And I'm like, do I like it? I actually do. Sponsor me. Okay. You went to University of Mississippi?

[Heather McMahon]

Oh, yeah.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Hottie Toddy, can you explain your experience in three words?

[Heather McMahon]

Oh, yeah. Unhinged. Full throttle. That's too.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

That's Too much. Who gives a fuck?

[Heather McMahon]

Okay. Unhinged. Mayonnaise.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

What?

[Heather McMahon]

And just elated.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Elated.

[Heather McMahon]

I had the best four years of my life. Shout out to the University of Mississippi. I just did a show for them last week, and I loved it. My college experience was out of this world.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Wow.

[Heather McMahon]

Yeah.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Like from freshman year.

[Heather McMahon]

From freshman year. Here's the thing. I even being from the south because I grew up in Atlanta, I didn't know anything about Mississippi. The reason I ended up at Ole Miss is because it was the only college that led me.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

You're like, actually, when I got accepted, I was like, fuck, no. But then you got there and you're.

[Heather McMahon]

Like, I thought I was gonna go to Pepperdine and do, like, theater arts. Like, imagine me in Malibu.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

No.

[Heather McMahon]

Absolutely not. So I thought I was gonna go to Pepperdine. It was two weeks before graduation, and I didn't get in because I thought I was gonna go to their prestigious theater program. Well, here's the thing. I was student body president, but a blind cat could have done better on the SATs. I'm not a. I'm not a scholastic.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Test taking kind of cat either.

[Heather McMahon]

On paper, it's rough, okay? So I didn't get in. And I remember sitting down with the college counselor, and she's like, there's two schools that have good theater departments and they still are taking applicants. It was Alabama and Ole Miss. I swear to God, my hand on the Bible, I visited Alabama. I'm in Tuscaloosa. I'm at, like, the Sigma Chi house. I watched a man snort cocaine off a chicken tender. And I said. I called my daddy and I said, I'm going to Ole Miss. Like, I like to party, but this is. This is another world.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

This is some next level shit.

[Heather McMahon]

So I showed up in Oxford, Mississippi. I didn't know anybody. I did the sorority rush. I had the time of my life. I don't know how I got into a good sorority. Like, all of the things, it just clicked. And I. And I, we own a home there now. I bought a house in Oxford.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

You did?

[Heather McMahon]

I go back all the time. I love it.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Hold on. Cocaine on a chicken finger.

[Heather McMahon]

Yeah, it was a lot. And, you know, in the south, we got juicy Tinders. It's not like a light. It's not like a. Like a. It's not a Slim Tinder.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

The Thick boy.

[Heather McMahon]

It's a thick boy. And I just remember going, I don't know if I'm gonna.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

That's some real shit. No, I love that your honesty is like I love Ole Miss. Like, it was my. It's the only place I got accepted. But, like, who cares? You end up. And that's, I think, a great note for anyone that's in high school listening. Got it. Maybe there are people that listen in high school.

[Heather McMahon]

There are. You'd be surprised.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

You guys, like, it really doesn't matter where the fuck you go to school.

[Heather McMahon]

It doesn't matter. And you'll find your spot. Like, I remember being so devastated, thinking, okay, I'm not gonna be this, like, you know, Shakespearean actor. What is going on? And I ended up, like, it's the greatest joy of my life. And also, I would not have met my husband. Cause my best friend Tina, who works with me and helps me run my production company, she was from New York. So this bitch flies down. We're both in the theater department. I'm like, where the fuck are you from? She's like, where the fuck are you from? And she's the one who introduced me to my husband. So I had to go all the way to Mississippi to find a Yankee.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

It's. Oh, my God. It's so meant to be. Also, you mentioned sorority life. I played soccer, so I didn't. I still, to this day, don't fully understand. Understand sorority life. And I feel like what I'm seeing on TikTok may not be the exact representation of what it maybe used to be, because now are, like, synchronized dancing and stuff, which maybe it was back.

[Heather McMahon]

Then, but can you talk me through it is really wild. I get asked this a lot about what my sorority life experience like. I do think you're right. Social media has completely changed the game. I mean, when I went to college, I hate to date myself, but it was the first year that Facebook came out, so, you know, I didn't have to worry about somebody looking at my online profile. I just showed up in a Lily Pulitzer skirt and was like, y' all ready to do this or. Or what? I was pledge class president. I was bid day chair. I had the best time. And also, like, I see girls online that talk about hazing. No one hazed my ass. I showed up to the Delta Gamma house at the University of Mississippi. I had a monogram pillow with my name on it and a new, you know, bottle of, like, barefoot white wine. I had the time of my life. But also, I'm 5 10. You don't really haze. You don't. Large and in charge.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

No, I would stop. I was gonna say, like, I feel like what I'm watching on. On Tick tock right now is like, first of all, the dorm situation. How are they? Like, I showed up with the jansport backpack, and I had, like, a duffel bag, and I, like, threw in that I, like, bought off of ebay. I don't know what you got, like, a bed bath and beyond.

[Heather McMahon]

I had a bed in a bag. That's what you did. I called my roommate, who I'd never met before, and I said, what color scheme are we going with? We did lime green, hot pink, and black. And literally, bed in a bag. You got. You got the comforter, the one sheet. You only had one set of sheets.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

That's it.

[Heather McMahon]

There was no changing your sheets.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

That's it. And then I got. I remember, like, when the first day of school started, they had those, like, poster sales, and I got, like, channing Tatum on one wall, of course. And then I got, like, hot girls asses. Because I was like, this will really, like, the guys will think we're cool for this. I love this.

[Heather McMahon]

Exactly. I'm hot if they see hot girls on my wall. Because that makes sense.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

That makes so much sense.

[Heather McMahon]

Yeah.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

So I don't understand when they're like, let's do a transformation. And they do the click. And it goes from, like, a dreary dorm room to immediately. It's like, you look like you're in a fucking palace.

[Heather McMahon]

I have a sorority who. That's her job now. She runs. Has a whole business where she redoes the ole miss dorm rooms. Wow. They have, like, antiques in the room they're built. I mean, I had literally, like, three. Those stack from plastic bins that you get at, like, staples. I didn't even go to a container store. I went to, like, office max, and I put my thongs in there and, like, a bottle of, like, bourbon that was rolling around in the back. Like, nothing about my room. I had a desktop, Alex. I didn't even have a laptop. My dad ran an I. T. Company, and he was so afraid that somebody was gonna, like, steal my identity. And finally I called him. I was like, dad, I gotta get a laptop. Like, I can't be the person lugging the desktop on a dolly all the way up to the library. Like, what the are we doing here? Yeah. I was also a theater major, so I didn't really need, you know, a computer, but.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

But still, the point is, is, like, it was. It is different right now. And I do believe some of the bitches on TikTok are really going above and beyond for social media. Like, if you're someone at college Right now, that is literally just bringing your PB teen sheets, and you got a book bag, and that's all you.

[Heather McMahon]

Pottery Barn tea. Oh, my God. That was Lux.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

That was the shit.

[Heather McMahon]

Do you remember when Jersey sheet, like, Jersey sheets came out and it felt like you were rolling around on a pair of Levi jeans? Really? Actually not comfortable and not sweat wicking. I remember my mom, as, like, a gift, sent me the Jersey Pottery Barn teen sheets, and I was, like, in flames. When I woke up, I thought I had the flu.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

So fucking hot. I remember I got, like. Like, these dark gray ones. And the first time a guy came on my sheets and I only had, again, one pair. So I was just looking at that shit, like, damn, I'm. And I just left it there.

[Heather McMahon]

Later on, after the come had dried, and you were, like, trying to scrape it off. You were like, we'll just get that off at the end.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

It's fucking disgusting. Anyways, okay, so you were rushing. You got into your sorority. Can you, like, tell me, like, do you remember, like, your chance?

[Heather McMahon]

Do I remember my chance? I thought you would never ask. So interesting enough, so I went to the Home Chat. Delta Gamma was founded at the University of Mississippi. It was a big deal that they let a woman not from Mississippi into the sorority. I don't know who wrote me a wreck, but they. They saw my ass coming and they said, she's got potential.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Damn.

[Heather McMahon]

Yeah. So I. It was funny during rush, so we used to do this thing called A Door Song, okay? And you might have seen it on Bama TikTok. Now they banned it, but, like, so somebody comes and knocks on the door, okay? The door opens, and, like, 200 girls hit the deck. I was always on the bottom because I was beefy. So I'd be on the bottom of this door holding up the weight of my sorority sisters on me. And we'd be like, D E L T A Delta D E, L, T A. And do this whole thing. And then what would happen is everybody would get off the dog pile and run out and grab a girl who's rushing. So you're, like, running through the lawn being like, emily, Emily, where are you? And you had to pretend like you didn't know who they were. But you had, like, had giant cards. I mean, you're studying them, and then you're, like, looking around like, I can't see her. And then this little girl, Emily, pops out of the bush. She's like, it's me. And then we would run him through the DG house. And of course, Since I was on the bottom, I was, like, breathless. So by the time I got up, I would literally be like, where's Emily? Emily from Jackson, Mississippi, are you here?

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

All your makeup is gone. You're drenched.

[Heather McMahon]

I am so moist. It's. It's. It's like. It's not helping.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Your back is blown out.

[Heather McMahon]

It's awful.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

You have nothing left to give.

[Heather McMahon]

I have nothing left. And then you crowd them in this room, this chapter room, and, you know, we're, like, sitting at them, like, breathing hot fire breath on them, just being, like, trying to get them to cry, to be like, do you want to be here? This is the greatest day of my life. I ate it up, though. I had the time of my life.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Oh, my God. What do you think you loved about it? Because it's a little culty. No, it is.

[Heather McMahon]

But I really just met all my best friends there.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Love.

[Heather McMahon]

And again, I. There was not hazing. So when I see girls that had, like, a really. Like, if they ever lined us up and, like, circled our fat, I would have been like, I win. I get it. Just, y' all go home. I'm the fattest one. I put on 45 pounds my freshman year. Like, just y' all go home. Right? I. It was a lot of. I mean, we did, like, philanthropy work. We had raging parties. It really was not toxic. I'm sure a couple. You know.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Yeah.

[Heather McMahon]

I mean, we fought a couple times, but I was also kind of the black sheep. Like, I was always sent to standards because I was smoking cigarettes standing up. That's. That was a weird rule. If it. You know, if you want to smoke a cigarette, if you want to rip a heater, you got to sit down, cross your legs.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Wait, what?

[Heather McMahon]

Yeah, because you gotta look ladylike.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Oh, my God. So you can smoke cigs, but you just have to do it sitting down.

[Heather McMahon]

So if I was standing up, I couldn't. But if I was sitting down, having a cigarette, that's kosher, you know?

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Do you still, to this day, sit down or do you stand up?

[Heather McMahon]

I only have. I hope my life insurance policy doesn't hear about this. I love a. I'm kidding. Hypothetically, Allegedly, I love just a cig. When I'm in Italy, it's my vacation sig. But I'm not a smoker. Okay. Contrary to popular belief, people hear my voice, I'm not a smoker.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

You've got a great voice.

[Heather McMahon]

But can I also say to this younger generation, I really get concerned about. I was at the college bar the other day, and we have the bar in our town called the Library.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Oh, cool.

[Heather McMahon]

So when my dad would see my all my charges, he called me one day. He's like, God damn it, Heather, return your books to the library. This is insane. He didn't know it was a bar. Oh, yeah, it's my favorite bar. But. But literally, I see these kids, like, everybody's ripping the vape and they're all passing it around, and I turn to a young man in the bar and I go, honey, this is how you get mono or cold sores. I don't know what we're doing here, but y' all all need to just have your own vape.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

I'm a Heather. No, no. I thought you were gonna say something completely different. No, you were just gonna say, this is how you're gonna get lung cancer.

[Heather McMahon]

No. Fuck em. No, no, no, no. I'm worried about Epstein Barr virus. I am not worried about their lungs. Okay, come on now. I don't have time for that.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Instead of being like, you don't. You shouldn't have them. You're like, just each of you, get your own stack up.

[Heather McMahon]

I mean, this is why you guys are all gonna have strep throats. Get your own.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Get your life together, Daddy Gang, stop juuling.

[Heather McMahon]

Stop juuling. We're done.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Okay. I know you refer to yourself as the elder millennial. That's true, right?

[Heather McMahon]

Well, yeah, I mean, I am. I'm, you know, 30 years.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

You're a young woman.

[Heather McMahon]

Thank you. Thank you. I am young, youthful.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

You're very young.

[Heather McMahon]

Thank you.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

I want to talk about some of the millennial trends, and I want to hear your take is, do you think we should bring them back or how do you feel about them in general?

[Heather McMahon]

I'm so excited for this side parts. Oh, let me tell you, there is nothing more dramatic, more old Hollywood glam than a side part. I was actually in my sorority house the other day, and I found my old composite photo. It was such a deep side part. It started at the base of my jaw. Okay. It was just a thick comb over. I had no eyebrows, but I.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Me either.

[Heather McMahon]

I think the middle part, like, I'm fighting for my life right now. I have an intense cowlick, and if you knew the amount of time, effort, and Orbe dry texture spray that is holding me together.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Wait, because. Which way do we go? Which way does your hair usually go naturally?

[Heather McMahon]

It should go this way.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

So it wants to be comb over.

[Heather McMahon]

It wants to go full Donald Trump. Yes, it really does. I love a deep side part. You know, obviously, you know, if you do the deep side part and we do the stick straight like the cheese straightener, it's not a good look.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

It's. It's really not a good look. And I feel like depending on what phase you're at in your life, like, when I look back at pictures of myself as a young girl. Yeah, I was objectively not. I wasn't like, the cutest. Okay. I really. It really wasn't. It wasn't.

[Heather McMahon]

I didn't know that, though. No one pulled me aside and said, let's blend a smokey eye. Let's draw in our eyebrows. Let's maybe go for a leisurely walk so we can get some steps in. I was deep throating, like, you know, hot Pockets, chugging bourbon. I had not a care in the world.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

But you were happy.

[Heather McMahon]

I was. I've never been happier.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

No.

[Heather McMahon]

Now. Now I'm getting everything I want, and I'm like, God, this.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Like, I want to go back to the good old days. Yeah. It's true that, like, when you don't have the eye for it, I guess I can say when I look back at pictures of myself, there is a difference between a side part and the comb over. And when you do the comb over and you're not going for Hollywood glam, like, you're not going to an event and you're just looking for the side part, it can really look busted. So I think. I think you're right. It depends on what. What you're doing with it, but I would say the side part is usually a flop.

[Heather McMahon]

Okay. All right, you know what? Fair enough. But you also have a perfect straight line through your head. So I just think that you need to be little more inclusive to the cowlick community. No, that's all I'm saying.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

You want to hear something crazy?

[Heather McMahon]

What?

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

I have a cowlick.

[Heather McMahon]

Where?

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Yeah, exactly. The amount of time that I spent pushing, pushing, moving gel starts at 7:00am and it's almost 2:00 clock in the afternoon.

[Heather McMahon]

This, it was.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

It was sitting, setting, melting, pressing the.

[Heather McMahon]

Little clips and the clips. I. I'll go to an event, I'll be about to walk the red carpet, and I'm like, take the clips out.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Remove the clips last minute. Always. I. The amount of gel and like that. I had to get to this point. And I sleep with it sometimes like that. Wow. Yeah. I'm dedicated sociopath.

[Heather McMahon]

I love it.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

It's the trauma from childhood where I like, look back at those curvatures that I was putting over my. It looked so Bad that I am straight part. And I will never deter. Have you ever had side bangs?

[Heather McMahon]

No. Well, I did go through a little bit of an emo phase. I was always. Yeah. But I would be at the, like the band's Warped tour in like junior high, and I would always be in like a full Hollister outfit and a puka shell necklace. I still dress like Dave Matthews Band esque. But I was at could sing, you know, something corporate, Simple Plan or one of those bands.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Stop. I feel like we would have been friends. Like I was. I went through such an emo phase and I would do the colorful, like, skinny jeans with like a band T shirt. I was obsessed with simple plan, Blink182. Then I went into All Time Low. I had all these different, like, I was obsessed with Avril Lavigne. I wanted to be her.

[Heather McMahon]

Oh, Avril Lavigne is. I remember being like a, you know, a chubby sixth grader and I'd come home and I'd put her CD in I like, because, you know, we, we. We had a little money, so I had this six disc changer and I would just literally be like, I'm feeling in the sun.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Yes.

[Heather McMahon]

And just like rage out. My mom would be like this one.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

I was naturally, I would think, like, happy. Like, I didn't want to be emo, but I loved the concept of being emo.

[Heather McMahon]

We're just dramatic.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

You were.

[Heather McMahon]

Yeah, we're a little dramatic.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Yeah. I'm sorry. That's annoying. Okay. How do you feel about Tall Uggs.

[Alex Cooper]

Daddy gang? When I think about my wedding, I think of a lot of things. I think about a lot of happiness, I think of stress, but I also think about, oh my gosh. Had Matt and I not had our incredible wedding planners, had I not also had Matt, who was basically also helping plan the whole thing, like, I would have been a disaster. Okay, if you are someone that is helping plan a wedding, if you have a wedding coming up, if your best friend has a wedding and you're the bridesmaids or you're the maid of honor, whatever it is, make sure your friend that is a bride, or if you are a bride, you have help. Okay, that is where Zola comes in. Zola is a modern wedding planning for modern couples.

[Heather McMahon]

No lie.

[Alex Cooper]

With Zola, you can plan your entire wedding in one convenient place while riding on the couch.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

That sounds like my cup of tea. Okay.

[Alex Cooper]

And not only does Zola have every tool you need to make planning enjoyable for making your vendor search non anxiety inducing to wedding websites and an instant registry that you can literally build with one click. They also really get you. Here's the thing. When you're planning a wedding, there are these challenging expectations that that one person will be doing all of the work, right?

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

You're like, oh, my God, it's just going to be one.

[Alex Cooper]

No, no. Here is the thing. They are here to remind you that there is no right way to do things, and it's only what works for you. And Zola will have your back from day one to the wedding day. I get it. It is so stressful. Daddy Gang, don't let yourself go through this, like, decision fatigue. I feel like that is a real thing. When I think about my friends that are now getting married, I'm like, you guys, I know. It's so hard to make a decision. You need someone to help you do that. And here you go, Zola. So, Daddy gang, if you're getting married, if you're walking down the aisle, if you're doing the damn thing, start [e-mail]. that's Z O L A.com call her daddy is brought to you by zip recruiter. Okay. Sometimes I think back to my dating days, and I really thought that I was sitting across maybe from the man of my dreams. And I didn't really understand that he didn't appear to be what he was. You know, Then eventually I found out.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Who he really was.

[Alex Cooper]

And sometimes you just don't know what you're getting into. But if you're looking, looking for a job, that is not the case on ZipRecruiter. Boom. Okay, we all know how important salary and benefits are, and that's why Most jobs on ZipRecruiter include that information so you can make an informed decision before you hit apply. Daddy Gang, you can start finding jobs right away. Just go to ziprecruiter.com chd daddy gang, this is your sign. If you have been waiting and you're looking for a job, it is on ZipRecruiter.com CHD ZipRecruiter finds and sends you great job matches in minutes. And you can apply to almost anything with just one click. You are literally about to get hired. Daddy gang, go to ZipRecruiter and get all the info you need to land an amazing job. Just go to this exclusive web address, ziprecruiter.com c h d right now to get started again. That's ziprecruiter.com chd oh, God.

[Heather McMahon]

Okay, well, here's my thing. My best feature on my body is My thin ankle. Okay, I never. I mean, look at that. Have you ever seen a night. Nice, more developed, thinner ankle?

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

That is a very nice ankle.

[Heather McMahon]

It's a very nice ankle. Thank you.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Because it gets thin.

[Heather McMahon]

It's very thin. And I also have nice toe cleavage. I've been told from the toe. The foot fetish community that my foot, while very wide in a shoe, the top of my toes is apparently very sensual.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Really? Have you ever thought about making a couple bucks?

[Heather McMahon]

I have, but I did see that one person left me a bad review on WikiFeets, and it's knocked my rating down to, like, a 3.5. Wait, very upset.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

You're not actually on Wiki feats, are you? What the.

[Heather McMahon]

I didn't know it was a thing. And somebody at one of my shows was like, hey, by the way, I just want you to know, like, your rating went down on wiki feeds. I was like, what the is Wiki Feats, dude?

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Heather, I'm not kidding you. I'm convinced that almost every single man in the world has a foot fetish.

[Heather McMahon]

You know, here's the thing. It's not hurtful.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

No, it's not hurtful. It's just fascinating.

[Heather McMahon]

I would do only fans in a heartbeat. If dudes want to send me money to look at my little piggies. Fantastic. It.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

And it's just. It's natural, too.

[Heather McMahon]

It's natural.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

It's either you got it or you don't. No one's getting, like, foot implants. No one's getting, like, really fit. It's you got it or you don't. And if you got it, flaunt it.

[Heather McMahon]

I would like to say, because you have such a huge international platform. I, you know, big Nike fan, but I've got a wide, wide, girthy foot. And if you guys could send me some pairs cut in a wide, that would be fantastic. I go online, and the only pair that's in an extra wide is an orthotic. So please, for the love of God, make a wide in an Air Force One. Okay? I had to take that opportunity. I could have. I could have said something to, like, find peace in the Middle east. But instead I'm like, can I get a custom Nike in a wide? Because my toes are falling asleep.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Neither literally coming on here and be like, what other brand deals did I.

[Heather McMahon]

Want to get out of this episode?

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Yes. I'm obsessed.

[Heather McMahon]

What are we getting? We're getting a Porsche.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

We're getting.

[Heather McMahon]

We're getting a Jetta.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Jetta, An Audi, and free shoes for Life.

[Heather McMahon]

And Orbe.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

And Uggs.

[Heather McMahon]

And Uggs.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Okay, thank you.

[Heather McMahon]

Back to the Uggs.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Okay, so the Uggs.

[Heather McMahon]

So I'm having a lot of fun.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

I'm having a lot of fun with you too.

[Heather McMahon]

Okay, back to the Uggs. So here's the thing.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

To be fair, sometimes it's also hard to podcast with people that, like. My favorite podcasting usually is when people podcast for a living because, like, you know how to, how to do it. So thank you. Thank you for showing up today. Okay. Tall Uggs.

[Heather McMahon]

Okay. Tall Uggs. I, I don't like a sweaty calf.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Okay.

[Heather McMahon]

You know, I, I, I would wear them. I went to a Christian school, so we had to wear the uniforms. And in the winter, that was a thing. You wore the tall Ugg.

[Alex Cooper]

You could wear them them with your uniform.

[Heather McMahon]

We could wear them. We didn't have to wear, like, Mary Janes or anything. I'd wear a tall Ugg with my little, like, Catholic school girl uniform. And I just remember huffing it, you know, through the parking lot, just like, these are hot.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Wait, did you have boys at your school?

[Heather McMahon]

We did.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

What the Heather. I went to an, I went to a full co ed K through 8. I was like, in Catholic school and I had to wear the plaid skirt. And I used to have to say this to, like, my boyfriends. I'm like, I know it sounds hot. Like I was fucking hideous. And it's not a sexual fantasy. Okay. Now I'd look hot in it, but back then it was like, to the knee. And if not, they'd slap you with the ruler. Like, literally old school. And then we had to have the thigh highs. They weren't thigh highs. They went to the knee. And they were the big socks with.

[Heather McMahon]

The Mary Jane shoe.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Mary Jane. And then they changed to saddle shoes at one point, which was like the black and the white shoe. And then we had the collared shirts. That wasn't hot.

[Heather McMahon]

We had the whole uniform. We could wear the socks, but we, in the winter, they would allow us to wear the Uggs. Okay. And then eventually they got pants. Because I think I like, walked into the principal's office and said, I'm freezing. Okay? And I'm a heavy stuff. Said, so if I'm cold, imagine what these thin are feeling. This is unbelievable. We have rights.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

We do have rights. You, you okay? Soul Cycle.

[Heather McMahon]

Oh, well, that's a little triggering. And I, you should have warned me that you were going to bring that up on such a trigger. I worked at Soul Cycle, okay. In West Hollywood, around the Corner? Yeah.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

How? What?

[Heather McMahon]

I. When I moved to la, I needed a part time job, okay. And I couldn't get a job at a restaurant, which was really weird because I had worked at some of like the best restaurants in New York. I had this crazy, you know, Michelin star experience. And I could not get a job working as a bartender, even like a hostess in la.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Why do you think?

[Heather McMahon]

Because I wasn't a porn star. That's why I wore a sensible, supportive bra to work. I would show up to these like, interviews with this insane New York resume. And they were like, but are your nips hard? You know, I was like, I can make them hard. Give me 10 seconds, I'll be right back. Yeah, I mean, I would go and I would think that I was going for like a night. Nice. You know, like, like a. An interview at Spago. And they're like, actually we have a nightclub and we were wondering if you want to be a promoter. I'm like, I'm 23 years old. I should not be roaming the streets of Los Angeles trying to get people to come to your nightclub.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

That's annoying.

[Heather McMahon]

So I ended up at Soul Cycle. And I remember my interview, I was interviewing to be on the front desk. But I said, because I wanted to let them think that like I was here for the long haul. Of course, I remember saying, like, obviously I'd start with the front desk. And I understand you have to work your way up, but my goal is to eventually be an instructor. And the girl interviewing me was just like, yeah, we're good. Nothing about you says like, you know, star of the fitness community. But I actually had a great time. SoulCycle was so fun. I met my best friends. My buddy Raymond, shout out to Ray. He's still one of my best friends. We used to get in trouble cause we would work at the front desk and be like, you know, gravely hungover, of course. And I'd be eating like a chipotle burrito bowl and a diet Dr. Pepper. And finally my manager said, heather, this is like a fitness studio. People don't. Celebrities don't want to come in and work out when you're like dry heaving over a barbacoa bowl. Get your shit together. No. Yeah, yeah.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

I kind of love that for you. You're like, you know what though? Like, this is me and this is who I'm going to be. And I'm only at the front desk. So like, you can go back there and fudgeing workout. I'm sorry, Heather. I've gone on one of the bikes before? Yeah, I. When I was working this ad sales job, they were like team bonding. Let's go across the street and like, during lunchtime, go on the fucking soul cycle bike bikes. It hurts.

[Heather McMahon]

Yeah. It's not great.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

It's not like a good horseback riding where you're like, I'm getting a little turned on. It's rubbing my in the right way. This is like physical pain.

[Heather McMahon]

No, this is where your urethra is just ripped off. Like, you have road rash, but it's on your pee hole.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

I'm getting, like, bruises. And then, like, you go to sleep that night, you can feel like your pelvis area, like, pulsating.

[Heather McMahon]

Not in a sexual way, but then actually, once you do it two or three times, then you're in it. But see, I knew how to work the system. System there. I would, you know, all these big celebs would come in and I would slip my little business card that I made on, like, vistaprint, okay. To have my head shot on it, and I would slide it into their, like, bags, and I'd be like, if you ever need an assistant, if you ever need somebody to open for you on the road, please ask me. Oh, my God, so funny. I did that to Whitney Cummings, and I must have given her 10 business cards. She never once called me. And then we're buds now, and I literally was like, whitney, I need you to just know that I used to drop my business card. I mean, this was 10 years ago.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Like, Whitney, I was either down to be your assistant or open for you, and I didn't either. So you.

[Heather McMahon]

But I also you. But now I'm a guest on your podcast.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

So boom.

[Heather McMahon]

It was amazing. I loved it.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

So we love SoulCycle. Okay. Skinny jeans.

[Heather McMahon]

Oh, again, I am pro skinny jean because I do want to flex my best asset. But I mean, God, that for me, you know, you said you're crotch hurting. Soul cycle. I always had a yeast or a UTI from a skinny jean. It just was so tight right in the grundle.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

It can't be worse than jean shorts, though.

[Heather McMahon]

Oh, I don't with jean shorts. You don't? No. What are we doing here?

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

I don't.

[Heather McMahon]

No. What? Absolutely not. I'm not with the jean short. I'm pushing 40. You know, I need to be in a jean short. Get out of here.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

We are so. Are you just. What are we doing here? I do. Of course I wear jean shorts.

[Heather McMahon]

You do? I think I do.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Are you lying?

[Heather McMahon]

No, I, I.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Is that the first time you've Lied on this podcast. Say, are you.

[Heather McMahon]

It is. I. Can I tell you, I'm in a. I'm in a tough spot. I put on a little weight and I had all these jean shorts that I bought from Zara, and I just. I tried them on the other day and I was like, it's. It. It's a no go. So I'm just very bitter about that.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

No, no, no. And I get it. Like, jean shorts, you have to be really, like, you have to be tan. You need to feel good.

[Heather McMahon]

You need to.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

It needs to be the perfect thing. Or just a short dress that's flowy is always a great go to. Like, I'm always like, oh, I can, like, relax here. But jean shorts are like. Yeah, they're kind of the I'm a.

[Heather McMahon]

Baby doll dress kind of gal. And I know those had a moment on Tik Tok, but I've got giant jugs and I like a little. I like to just sit right here. Titties under my neck.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Are they real?

[Heather McMahon]

They're real. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And I'll tell you what. I got perfect nips, really, for a large breast. I got a really nice breast to areola ratio. Yeah, that's my one.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

That's so much good.

[Heather McMahon]

You.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

You're like, let me show you my thin little ankle. Also perfect.

[Heather McMahon]

I've literally come in here and been like, I had a great sorority. My husband is fantastic. Life is great now. I haven't shit today, and I do have anxiety, but other than that, I'm thriving. No, but I. I mean, listen, great tits. I. I'm. I am always now, especially, you know, being in the spotlight. I pick apart myself all the time.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

No, it's nice to like, be like, yeah, I fucking like something about myself. And you know, they're not.

[Heather McMahon]

They're not where they used to be. I definitely would love a lift, but they are. The areola is nice.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

I'm fudgeing jealous. And I'm already picturing it like I'm thinking of it sexually. Your husband is lucky. Moving on. On super thin eyebrows.

[Heather McMahon]

Oh, no, those. They should never come back.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Okay. But what's worse, the, like, giant. I mean, mine. Mine are looking a little big today.

[Heather McMahon]

I mean, mine are thick too. I'd rather more than less, really, because you can always pull a friend aside, take them to, you know, Coffee Bean and just say, hey, what are we doing? You know, this comes from love where.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

We can peel it back. Yeah, but you can never.

[Heather McMahon]

With the amount of gross serum castor oil, you know, and all the eyelash serums apparently make you go blind and they ruin the collagen underneath the eyes.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Wait, what?

[Heather McMahon]

Oh, yeah. That's a whole thing now? Yeah. Apparently we've been using all the lash serums and they apparently dissolve all the fat underneath your eyes. And I.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Perfect.

[Heather McMahon]

I mean, you know, maybe I should start rubbing this all over my body. But no. Thin eyebrows should never come back. That is a crime against humanity. It should be outlawed. You should have to do hard time if you're over plucking. You need to get your life right.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

But then the kids. It's so unfair because I look at Pamela Anderson and like, in my twisted mind, I'm like, God, I wish I could pull that off. No one can pull it off but her.

[Heather McMahon]

But her.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

And just let her have it and move on. I really, I suffered. And I think because you said earlier you didn't have eyebrows, I, growing up had. I had the hair. I had nothing to show for the hair because, like, if you saw me in the right lighting, you'd see like what looked like a unibrow and it's like just peach fuzz. I finally dyed them when I was in high school and I had never felt better in my life. I was like, oh, my God, my five head is gone. I've got the angles, it looks good. But then I just kept building on it and I feel like I really took it to a level where I see pictures of myself in the freshman year of college. Is bad.

[Heather McMahon]

They got too much.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

They were black.

[Heather McMahon]

Yeah, we definitely over dyed for a long time.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

And they were cinder blocks.

[Heather McMahon]

I always had thick, natural, bushy brows. But I would go to the nail salon and, you know, they would just, just like hold you down in the back. I never went to like an eyebrow specialist. Oh, my God. I'm like, I'm getting a fresh gel set and I'm getting my eyebrows done in the back. And I came out one day and the tips were gone. I mean, they ran away with them. And then you know how long it takes to grow that shit back.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Oh, you're fucked.

[Heather McMahon]

You're fucked. So my entire college career, I had my deep side part. I'm in a pair of gaucho pants, I'm in a halter top. My, you know, perfect nipples are hanging out. I put on 45 pounds and I got no brows and I didn't blend a smoky eye. I'm. I mean, I've really come a long.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Way picturing you smoking a fucking cig.

[Heather McMahon]

With a cig and a nice you know, Jessica Simpson, wedge. Gauchos. Gauchos, yeah. Oh, that was good.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

God, they were good.

[Heather McMahon]

Gauchos were great. And then if you wanted to hook up with somebody, I'm kind of in a gaucho now. You didn't even have to take them off. They could just slide a hand up there and just finger you, you know, and that was. That was fun.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

The width was a impeccable. I think we should maybe bring gauchos back.

[Heather McMahon]

I think we should. I know people are trying to do the barrel Jean, and I'm not. You know, what you can't do is finger somebody in a barrel Jean. You can't even get half a fist up there.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

I don't think.

[Heather McMahon]

Also, who wants to finger somebody in a barrel Jean? If I see a coming down the street in a barrel Jean, I'm like, I'm not attractive.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

No, it's not.

[Heather McMahon]

No, it's not. The look, gals, that's what we need to the barrel. Jeans are out.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

But don't you think that is where. That's a definition of women dressing for women, where they, like, the girls would think these are cute.

[Alex Cooper]

I don't know, though.

[Heather McMahon]

Well, as a full woman, just, you know, right now, here in the flesh, I say, no, don't fucking do it.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Let's get rid of it. Bring the gout. Shows back. Bite of the barrel.

[Heather McMahon]

Yeah.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Okay. This is controversial because I'm staring at your ankle, and I guess this goes against everything that we've talked about today about this one body part that's really a highlight for you. Ankle sock socks. I don't know if you realize are they're currently out.

[Heather McMahon]

What do you. Oh, ankle. Oh, but what do you have?

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

These are like.

[Heather McMahon]

Is that not an ankle sock? No.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Ankle socks is where you're showing your ankle.

[Heather McMahon]

Okay, but I have a no show. I thought that was a no show.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

You're saying you have no socks.

[Heather McMahon]

I got a wide foot. If you think I'm letting these cheddar blocks just marinate in here. I'm not trying to bake a casserole. Okay, again, Nike. I'd like a wide. Okay, wait, so I thought that was a crew sock.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

So this is whatever the fuck you want to call it, but this is not an ankle sock. This is that like Hailey Bieber.

[Heather McMahon]

Yeah. Like Princess Diana.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Yeah. Trendy.

[Heather McMahon]

I did not know that I was. I feel. I feel attacked.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

No, the problem is this would cover one of your best assets.

[Heather McMahon]

Yeah. But I will say, my husband, one of his favorite looks is the look you have on right now. He likes the bike short, the oversized sweatshirt, and I'll. The, the, you know, the scrunch socks. You will? I will scrunch the socks.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Because your outfit right now, you wouldn't technically. Look at you.

[Heather McMahon]

I know. Now I'm like, I don't. I don't know what to do. Like, can I get. Like, can I sit? Like, I don't know what to do. Okay, hold on.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Can I adjust you look, it's getting hot in here.

[Heather McMahon]

I'm so sorry.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

I started this podcast saying to you I was breezing and now it's fucking hot. Can someone turn on the air? Okay, let's talk about. Obviously you mentioned your family went through a hard time. You lost your dad, and so that kind of like.

[Heather McMahon]

Thanks for bringing that.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

No, I know. I'm your father. Swee.

[Heather McMahon]

Yes, dad.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Rip. We love you, Kyle.

[Heather McMahon]

Yeah, we love you, Kyle.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

You moved in with your mom.

[Heather McMahon]

Yes.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

And you moved in with Jeff. With your mom. And at this point, you weren't married. Right. You're engaged, so.

[Heather McMahon]

Okay, backtrack. When my dad died, I was living in la. I picked up my shit, I moved home.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Okay.

[Heather McMahon]

And then I moved at some point up to New York. But then when the pandemic hit, Jeff and I moved from New York back to Atlanta and I'm living in my childhood home. So Jeff and I are we. And we haven't moved out out. Like, like, we are. We are still three's company.

[Alex Cooper]

Why?

[Heather McMahon]

Great question. Because I talked to my financial advisor the other day and he's like, heather, you're living pretty cheaply. You could. You could move on. I don't know why I think. I mean, listen, I adore my mom. She's my buddy. I constantly think, like, the thought of her sitting at home alone on a Friday night hits me in a deep way that, like, it just gives me like, chills down my spine. I. I don't know. It's not normal. My husband loves it cuz he gets treated like a king. You know, I'm the one who can. I'm the one who gets yelled at.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

We. I was gonna say walk me through this. So it's you, your husband, your mom, and it's like a normal day. Are you guys able to like, slightly, like, what's the room set up? Like, where is where?

[Heather McMahon]

Like, so you would think that I'd be in like the primary bedroom. I am not. We just blew out a couple closets, so we built like another primary. Mary. My mom is still in the main bedroom. Oh, yeah, I'm in my childhood bedroom that we, like, blew out two closets to expand. You know, it's funny, somebody asked me the other day, they're like, what's the wildest, like, place you've ever had sex? I'm, like, where I currently have sex in my home with my mom down the hall, who sometimes will chime in and be like, jeff, I can tell from that sound she doesn't like it. No, no, no.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Have you ever had sex in your childhood room or, like, even gotten fingered or felt up or. You weren't allowed to go, oh, oh.

[Heather McMahon]

No, I was allowed to have boys in there. But I also, you know, I don't think a lot of guys called no.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Ever.

[Heather McMahon]

No, I'm cute. Come on. No, I. It is funny being back in my childhood home, but, you know, my husband, my mom adores him, and he just gets treated like a king, where it is funny being back at my house, because my mom, even though, like, I'm running the roost and, like, make money and pay for everything, she'll throw shit in a basket.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Okay.

[Heather McMahon]

I don't know if your parents did this growing up, like, my mom. I'll walk in the door from being on tour. Heather, you got 14 things you need to carry. It's all in your basket. I opened all your mail. Your taxes are due tomorrow. You know, you've got some money in your bank account. And I'm like, quit going through my shit. Doesn't matter that I'm an adult. She still treats me like I'm 13 years old.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

I kind of love it, though. It's kind of cozy.

[Heather McMahon]

It is so cozy. I mean, it's insane, but my mom is, you know, my mom and dad were each other's truly loves of their life, and my mom was 11 years older than my late dad. Original couple. Oh, yeah. So my mom, it's been wild trying to watch her date now, and she's been bamboozled on, like, these dating apps multiple times. It's like she thinks she's talking to an architect from New York. He's, you know, somewhere in another country, and he's trying to steal all her Social Security number. So really, I. I have to live with my mom because it's Fort Knox. She's just trying to get, you know, a little dick on the side. And I'm not gonna have an inheritance because some guy and on the other side of the world is stealing all of the funds.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Oh, my God.

[Heather McMahon]

Yeah, it's bad.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Oh, my fucking God.

[Heather McMahon]

And my mom's great. And she's kind of. At this point, she's 76. Doesn't look a day over 40. My mom's hot. Perky titties, like, tiny. She's spunky. She travels. And I keep trying to. You know, I ask my audience all the time. I'm like, anybody got a rich uncle or a great dad who. My mom doesn't want to get married again. She just wants to travel.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

She wants to feel something with a guy.

[Heather McMahon]

She wants to feel something. Yeah. And she's like, heather, I'm not dead yet. I'd still like to be. To be intimate. I said, you get up on that horse and ride, girl.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Wait, that's so incredible. And I actually agree. Like, the thought of a parent being alone as they're getting older makes me want to start crying. So I think you're, like, a lovely human being for do that. But, like, are you guys caring at all? So you're not caring when you're having sex that your mom's gonna hear you?

[Heather McMahon]

No, but I do. I have much better sex when I'm on the road, and I'm in a Four Seasons. And we kind of feel bad, like, the parents got away. And it is funny. We do call my mom the toddler. Cause when we, like, go to dinner with her, she sits in the backseat and she watches her iPad, and she's giggling to her YouTubes.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

And Jeff gets along with her.

[Heather McMahon]

Jeff gets along with her. I mean, listen, he is so patient. But Jeff is. My mom's from up north, and my husband's from up north, so they kind of, like, have their own banter. And I'm just sitting on the porch drinking an iced tea, going, I do declare. Why are y' all yelling in this house?

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

I'm obsessed with it. I also just think, like, the fact is, as a comedian, like, it's a really good dynamic. It works. It's working. It's working. That's. I'm like, I'm not now.

[Heather McMahon]

I would like a little bit more money, because if I could expand, if I could upgrade. We need. I would like a big chateau with, like, a guest house so I. I at least get to be in my own four walls without Robin barking down my throat. But, you know, we're putting that on the vision board.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Something. Something that you talk about in your standup special that had cackling. Well, two things we have to talk about. Two things. One is blowjobs, because love them and hate them. Sweetie, sweetie, sweetie. The way that you described heading downtown to the wiener yeah. And seeing the wiener hole. And the wiener hole approaching it.

[Heather McMahon]

There is a goofy ass hole down there.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

It is.

[Heather McMahon]

Yeah, the wiener hole.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

But it works if you, like, swirl your tongue hung in there a little.

[Heather McMahon]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Oh, it's a little.

[Heather McMahon]

If you don't get in that little hole, then they're not getting in yours. And we all know this.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Give a little surprise attack.

[Heather McMahon]

But I never try and go over the other hole. You know what I mean? I'm like, that is you. Do you. I'm. You know, I. When you're married, at least you know when your spouse has diarrhea, it's every 30 minutes, just like your sweet dog. So it's like when people like, oh, you know, you like eating butt. I'm like, no, Jeff had, you know, jalapeno poppers at TGI Fridays on a golf outing, and he's been bitching about it all day. No, I don't want to lick his butthole. I'm so sorry.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

No, it's fucked. When you do. Like, I have never, like, been opposed. And I know that's, like, bad of me to say, but, like, I'm in the blowjob and it's the accessory to a blowjob moment.

[Heather McMahon]

Yeah.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

But, you know, in between that little gooch, I mean, I'll tickle.

[Heather McMahon]

I'll tickle the gooch. I'm in the gooch. I am hitting the taint. I slap it around a little bit. I take the dick, just hit me on both sides. Like, I'm doing a little, you know, get ready with me. I mean, I'm doing the layers of blush, Patrick, Tom, the whole works. But I'll tell you right now, I'm not getting. I'm not going further back.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

What I love about.

[Heather McMahon]

Unless he is rinsed out in the yard.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

No, that's what's crazy is if, like, I've had guys before be like, go down there. Go down there. And I'm just, like, rubbing it. Because I'm like. I can smell it through the tunnel. It's the waft. It's wafting. It's wafting towards my nostrils. And I'm uninterested in the fecal matter.

[Heather McMahon]

I got a long nail. You just tickle. You take the skin, you roll it around a little bit.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Cause it's also not lost on me if I go down there and then I go to the wiener and then he puts it in. Your shit is in my fucking V. Thank you. And I'm heading to the hospital.

[Heather McMahon]

Thank you.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

That's happened before to me.

[Heather McMahon]

And you know what we're trying not to do? Have a repeat. Yeah.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Okay.

[Heather McMahon]

So, yeah, we get back to blowjobs.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

What I do appreciate you doing. And I could feel the energy in the stadium when you were saying this.

[Heather McMahon]

It was a stadium. Oh. It was a theater. But, yes, I am also playing stadiums.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

She's in a stadium. It was a stadium. It was a fucking stadium. Is you talking to men and just being like. You say it better, but, like, not really thinking about the dick while you're on the dick.

[Heather McMahon]

The last thing I have ever thought about while I have a dick in my mouth is that dick in my mouth. I am thinking about the drama that is going on in the next door app. I am thinking about, you know, the rogue raccoon I possibly may have run over in the Audi community. Q5 hybrid. We.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Are you deep in the door next door?

[Heather McMahon]

It's insane.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Do I need to get on that?

[Heather McMahon]

No, don't. You don't have time. I mean, you're like, I don't know. I'm running an empire, but you're running, like, a empire. Okay. No, I love it. I'm in a group chat with all the ladies of my neighborhood, and when I tell you, it is so fun. We had a car burglary, like, two weeks ago. If you give a pack of women, and I do say pack of women, because we are like wild wolves. If you give a pack of women in a suburban community two clues, they have already found the perpetrator. They found who's linked to. We have taken down a full cartel. So I just want to say the FBI, white suburban women, and we are off to the races. Not Karen's. We are more Sharon's.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

You know, I am, like, not kidding you. I've heard people talk about this, and I think I. Even if I'm just on the periphery and want to read about, like, read in on my community, I'd kind of like to get in there because I like dumb drama that kind of has nothing to do with me. Unless, I guess they're saying that there's, like, a murderer in our neighborhood.

[Heather McMahon]

It's so refreshing. If you're like, I can be on the periphery and just kind of like, chime in every now and then. Fantastic. But, yes, if there's a. If there's a murderer in my bushes, please let me know. Have you heard of stalker?

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

You know what?

[Heather McMahon]

No, but not yet. Challenge accepted. No.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

I've had one person that has lightly kicked it up a notch. It could be equivalent to, like, getting a little stalkery. But I've done a pretty good job at really, like, putting things to an end when it gets a little out of control. But someone's kicked it up a notch recently, and Matt's handling it.

[Heather McMahon]

I like that. My husband runs his own meet and greets at my shows by the bar. So, you know, because I have a ton of gals that come to the shows. And he's in the corner just being like, did you want to get a photo? And I'm like, jeff, she's fucking nuts. I told you about her sock. That's Carol Ann run away. Yeah, he loves it.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Do you have a stalker? No.

[Heather McMahon]

But I did have a woman break into my backstage once. Oh, yeah. But it was my fault because I had given the security guards a couple chick fil a party platters, so they were just raw dogging some nuggets. Meanwhile, I'm back there completely out in the nude because I like to, like, really dress up for my shows. So I come out and I sweat like a beast on stage, and then I rip off my suit. So I was. Had just taken off my glitter suit, and I'm about to put on my jeans, and a woman's in the doorway, and she's like, I found you. You know, so one thing you say to somebody, you don't say to somebody, I found you. And then she followed with, don't worry, I'm not gonna touch you. No, I was like, that's worse. I'd rather you just fucking grab my cooter and let's call it a day. You know what I mean?

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Let's get to the point. So what do you want? So what did you do?

[Heather McMahon]

Did you. Can I. I literally was like, can I just put on some clothes? And I put on my clothes. I was like, what's up, girl? And she's like, man, I just told. I said, how'd you get back here? She said, I just told the security guard, you know, like, my name's Lane. I was like, what?

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

No, no. That's what's so funny about those moments. It's like when they tell the security guards, like, oh, we're friends. We're from this. Sometimes they're like, oh, go in, go in.

[Heather McMahon]

I'm not worried about a male stalker. I think I'd like a little bit of a boost to the ego. But I have always said that I will probably be murdered one day in a TJ max by a, you know, a white gal name, like, you know, Michelle or Tanya. Like, that's gonna happen.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

That's who's taking you down.

[Heather McMahon]

I think that's who's taking. Like, you didn't read my dm. I'm like, I'm so sorry.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

I'm so sorry. I didn't know. I didn't know. I think. I think a light stalker is always good because it keeps you like, oh, we're doing something right. We're kind of a big deal.

[Heather McMahon]

We're actually, like, doing things.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

We're really big deals.

[Heather McMahon]

Yeah.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Back to the blowjobs.

[Heather McMahon]

Absolutely. Great transition.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

I actually think I'm done with the blow. The point is, is, ladies, you don't have to feel bad. And in your special breadwinner, you really, really touch on the important fact of, like, no one is thinking about giving head when they're giving head, and it's okay if you're multitasking, and that's fine. And what did. What was the other thing you said.

[Heather McMahon]

That was so funny?

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Oh. Oh, my God. That you believe that all men are slightly on the spectrum and all women have adhd.

[Heather McMahon]

It's so true. I think. So here's the thing. Men are really good at getting dialed into one. One thing. My husband is incredibly successful, but he's successful at one thing at a time. Meanwhile, I will be on stage delivering jokes. I already have my, like, Uber Eats order in my head, and I'm like, oh, I've got to call my attorney on Monday about the thing with the thing. And I. I'm multitasking all the time. I mean, there are some days where I feel like ADHD is. Can cripple you, but I've realized it's actually. I feel like all women's superpowers.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Yeah, it gets. It gets shit done.

[Heather McMahon]

We get shit done. But, yes, I do not think about any. Anything sexual while I'm blowing my husband. And I tell women the best thing. And when people come to my show, you know, they used to be like, oh, I drug my husband. And then the husbands have the best time. My show's for everybody, but my job is. I like to. I know. It's so funny. I had. I drugged my husband here. I'm like, that. You didn't have to put a gun first. She said, I blow them backstage. If you come to my show, I will put your dick in my mouth.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

I thought you were saying. Saying the people were saying they drugged their husband.

[Heather McMahon]

Sorry. I probably said that with a little country twang, like, they drugged them. Husbands to my show.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

I'm like, all these men are up.

[Heather McMahon]

So what? That did is the. The husbands were out working in the yard and then the women gave them a little, little date, you know, a little pill in the, in a, in a Coors light. And next thing you know, they're at a Heather McMahon show. Could you imagine?

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

No, I've.

[Heather McMahon]

All of a sudden you just came to and you're like in a room and there's a glitter, you know, a full figured blonde woman in a glitter suit. Just being like, this is what happens when there's a dick in your mouth. That would be like the worst trip of your life.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

I'm happy that I clarified, Heather, because I'm not fucking kidding you. Multiple comments would have been damn. Like, why didn't you talk about how like she drugs her?

[Heather McMahon]

No, no, no, I'm so sorry. I meant, I meant when you drag, like you force him to come drag.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Yeah, yeah.

[Heather McMahon]

And then the guys are like, fuck, I never saw it that way. And they have a great time. But yes. I don't think guys realize. Realize we're always. The mind's always swirling.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

We're always on the move.

[Heather McMahon]

We're always on the move.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

We need to talk about the hall pass situation.

[Alex Cooper]

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[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Daddy, we need to talk about the hall pass situation.

[Heather McMahon]

Okay, great. Yes.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

I'm not. I. I'm not trying to give away too much of your special because everyone needs to go watch it and there's so much good, but this hall pass situation, you almost can't help but be like, did this actually happen? This is insane.

[Heather McMahon]

Heather, this is insane.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Walk us through.

[Heather McMahon]

Also, legally, I don't know what. I don't know what I'm allowed to say, but. But no. My husband's hall pass is the incredible, gorgeous model Kate Upton.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Love.

[Heather McMahon]

And we were down in the Dirks of Caicos, and she had, like, DMed because we had mutual friends. Hey, saw you're down here. Like, would you like to come over for, like, a cocktail?

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

What a nice dm.

[Heather McMahon]

What a nice dm. And I hadn't gotten my husband a Christmas gift, and I leaned over and I was just like, hey, let's go to a. You know, let's go have some cocktails. I told him that my sorority sister was down there.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

It's so good.

[Heather McMahon]

And so I get him there. I drag him over to this cocktail hour. The door answers, and it's Kate's husband, Justin Verlander. And Jeff, immediately, because, you know, my husband's the biggest sports fanatic. I. He had a full boner. Full boner. Standing on the welcome mat of this, like, you know, he's like, my job holy. And I just kind of turned around. I remembered, I'll have it in slow motion. I just kind of gave him that, like, like, you, Jeff look.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

And do you think he knew Kate was in there at that point, or did he just think this is a random coincidence?

[Heather McMahon]

No, he immediately, like, he Immediately, as soon as he locked eyes, just, he was like, let's go.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

You're kind of like a brave woman to bring your husband into the same room as his hall pass.

[Heather McMahon]

Well, also, Justin Berlander is an incredible athlete, makes a billion dollars, and is like a model himself. So I wasn't worried about it. If Jeff ever made anything weird, this guy is, you know, an all star athlete. I feel like he could have body checked Jeff.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

No, you're right. And by the end of the time, you're probably like. Like, if he's gonna go with her, I at least could go with this. And it's not a bad option.

[Heather McMahon]

You know what I told Jeff later on? He was like, I can't believe you made that happen. I said, well, of course we never told Kate. She didn't know until I sent her the clip from the special.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

I was gonna say, did you run it by her?

[Heather McMahon]

No. Well, I was just like, hey, I just want you to know, like. And Kate is the coolest chick in the world. She's so cool. I want you to know. She was so great. And of course, I did not tell her at that dinner, like, we're sitting at this table with all their friends, and I'm kicking Jeff. I'm like, jeff, you've been staring too long. He's in the corner, just kind of frothing at the M. And one of their friends had mentioned. They're like, yeah, it's so weird, you know, Like, Kate is just the coolest chick. She's so awesome. But, like, guys get really weird around her.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

And I was like, shut the fuck up, Jeff. Smile.

[Heather McMahon]

Eat a shrimp cocktail. Getting weird. But, no, they were awesome. But I do think that I have really, you know, exposed Jeff to these cool opportunities. He's gotten to meet all of his sports heroes. And what have I gotten? Let me tell you, all I want wanted. All I wanted were two tickets. I wanted an Heirs tour ticket. I wanted a Beyonce ticket.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Did you go?

[Heather McMahon]

I went on. Because I made it happen.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Stop.

[Heather McMahon]

We were in. Actually, this is a great story. We were in. I was in Australia, okay. And I was doing my tour in Australia in February. Well, Taylor Swift just happened to be there at the same time. Love, you can't get tickets resale in. In Australia because they don't have, like, a stub hub. It's, like, illegal, okay? But I was like, jeff, figure it out. Call my agent. Figure it out. Surprise me. I want to. To go. It's my last night in Sydney. I've been in Australia for A month, Tori.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Okay.

[Heather McMahon]

Jeff's like, I have a surprise for you tonight. I'm like, this is it. He got tickets. I'm going to the ERAS tour. I've got the friendship bracelets ready. Let's go. And next thing you know, our hotel was right around the corner from the Sydney Harbor Bridge.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Okay.

[Heather McMahon]

So it's five o'. Clock. I'm like, getting ready. He's like, oh, no, no, just go dress casual. I'm like, oh, he's got a surprise. He probably has, like, an outfit for me. Like, this guy thought of everything. He made me climb the. This Sydney Harbor Bridge instead of letting me go to the ERAS tour. Now, mind you, I have a fear of outdoor heights. If I'm on a tall balcony, I'm always like, not that I would ever want to harm myself. I don't have intrusive thoughts, but I'm always kind of like, what would happen if I just let. Right.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

You know, it's just a little bit like, what if.

[Heather McMahon]

What if? Right? You can't help. So I am on the top of the bridge in this, like, full wind suit, windbreaker onesie, gripping the side, and they put me in a. At the. The back of the. The group. The group. I can't even talk because I'm having, like, flashbacks of how dramatic that was. They put me in the back of the group. I'm clinging onto the side of the bridge and the guy comes up, he's like, are you good? And I was like, I was supposed to be at the Heiress tour, and I'm freezing on top of this bridge. And we got off the bridge, we take a photo. The photo that we have on top of the bridge is the funniest shit. They're like, smile. And I'm like doing a peace sign.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Like, just like, I hate my husband.

[Heather McMahon]

Oh, I had stroked out at that point. I was completely like. There was no mind body connection. I cried when we got off the bridge. And I'm not a. I'm. I'm a tough cookie. And Jeff went to give me a hug. He's like, wasn't that the best? And I was like, I don't know if this is going to work out.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Like, get away from me, you piece of men that can be so dumb.

[Heather McMahon]

So dumb.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Like, you knew I wanted this. And because we're not going, like, figure out something that we could at least.

[Alex Cooper]

And also surprise me and also probably.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Let you know beforehand, the surprise ain't gonna be Taylor, but I got something else for you to make it as big like, as great as I could to make up for it.

[Heather McMahon]

His defense was it was our last night in Sydney. Of course we'd never get to do this again. And the best part was when you go to do the climb on the Sydney Bridge, they have all these celebrities that are up and they play the photos while you're doing the safety briefing, they play the photos of all the select and there's a couple like, D list celebrities. And I was like, they didn't even ask to take my photo at the end of this.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Like, do they know why?

[Heather McMahon]

So not only did I shit myself on top of this bridge, they don't even have a record of it. For when other people go to climb the Sydney Bridge, they don't know that the number one comedian of all time, Heather McMahon, was on the bridge. Heather. Yeah. Against my will. But it was a great memory.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

So have you ever gone and seen the ERAS tour?

[Heather McMahon]

I did. I saw it a couple weeks ago in London and let me tell you what, it was awesome. I. I'm a, you know, I'm a theater nerd. I wanted to see the production.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Yeah.

[Heather McMahon]

And it was just fucking awesome. Good for Taylor.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

It is so incredible. Like, I went once and I'm gonna go again. And I am. I just fucking love her.

[Heather McMahon]

I love her too. And I didn't really. I think I kind of missed literally the era of Taylor. Like for the breakup moments growing up. I was just like two years older than that.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Okay.

[Heather McMahon]

So while the girly were crying to, you know me. Yeah. When the girlies were crying to all these songs, I was in my dorm room listening to Three six Mafia. That was what, you know, I was doing drive bys in the Jetta past the ATO house, just being like, nook if you book, nook if you buck. You know, like that's.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

And I was like, it's a love story, baby. Just say yes.

[Heather McMahon]

Yeah. Yeah. That was not. I was. I was in repeated revenge mode. That's why Reputation's my favorite album.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Oh, it is.

[Heather McMahon]

That's why I wear snakeskin, you know? Yeah. I'm a reputation girly.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

I'm literally like a folklore girly.

[Heather McMahon]

Really? But that's great. I mean, I have a softer side, but I. I love that when she's in the full snakeskin and the one leg's out. Oof. I love it.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

When are you going on your cruise?

[Heather McMahon]

That's in April. I'm doing a cruise. And again, you know, I talked about possibly getting murdered in a TJ Maxx. It also might happen on the lido day, I was.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

I was gonna say, I. I don't know if you're coming back, but you'll have a good time.

[Heather McMahon]

I will. And I may not come back because I'll get arrested in the Bahamas. I don't know what's gonna happen. But we are doing a cruise, and it's like 2,000 fans on the cruise, and it's other comedians, and it's just gonna be four days at sea of us just letting it rip.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

And so will you just, like, roam around in a.

[Heather McMahon]

In a moo moo? Yes, absolutely. With a pina colada and a rum runner in my other hand? Absolutely.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

And are you gonna just, like, next to. You could, like, staying next to you could be like, one of your fans and, like, you could be knocking on the wall and they like, oh, you're just like, one with the people.

[Heather McMahon]

I'm one with the. You know, when you do comedy, too, like, I. I have meet and greets after my shows, and I. I know everybody. Like, you know, I. I'm one with the people. I mean, you did have to. You know, the cruise isn't a super cheap thing to do. So I'm hoping that people are making a financial investment are also, like, maybe a little touch less crazy. But actually, the richest ones, you know, are the. The ones that are crazy. They'll bring you the gifts to the show. And it's like, you think, like, I bought you a Birkin bag and I put an air tag in it so I know where you are at all times. You're like, like, I don't. The Birkin bag for me is a little too cumbersome. Okay. I think it's a bad investment. I said it. I'm gonna get absolutely burned at the stakes for saying that. I agree. It's heavy. It's just big.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

It's also, like, it's clunky. It's not that cute.

[Heather McMahon]

And you can't, like, you can't put it over your shoulder. So if you're trying to, like, like, look thin in a photo, you know what I mean? You're like. It's like it just. It just squeezes the arm. It's not a good look. Cumbersome. It's cumbersome. But, yeah, we're doing a cruise. It's gonna be in the insane comedy at night. My mom's going to be there. My husband's going to be running poker tournaments in the casino, taking pictures with the fans. Yeah. My sister's a criminal defense attorney, so I'm Keeping her on land because I might have to. You know, we don't know what's going to happen. She's going to be at the port in Miami as people are getting off the boat or not getting off the boat. So she's going to get a couple new clients.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

I am obsessed. Will you be posting on your social media about it when you're there?

[Heather McMahon]

Oh, we're going to. We really should make a full documentary about it. Yeah, it's fire fence and it turns like super dark dark. And then at the end it's just all of us with like the norovirus just like. And that was the day that the ship never came back.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

I would know it will never happen, but I honestly.

[Heather McMahon]

But then I'd have it like an in memoriam at the Emmys. And I have, you know, I haven't been nominated yet, but at least I'd be there. At least I'd be there. Glass half full, baby.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

I am so excited for you. Okay, can we talk about the special now? Wrapping up?

[Heather McMahon]

Yeah.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

I mean, we've been talking about the special the whole time. But I do want to know, like, I was talking to Hannah Burner about this, the other girl. I just am so. It's so incredible to watch people that truly deserve it and are actually so fucking funny like, get what they deserve. And I'm so happy for you. How did this even come to be?

[Heather McMahon]

Well, so I. I produced my own special and I did the, the first one, I did the same thing. So I, I didn't. In this business, you cannot wait around for people. I mean, listen, you're a self starter. You just, if you build it, they will come. So I just shot it. I shot at the Fox theater in Atlanta, which is like my home theater. I mean, talk about like a real full circle moment for me. And then I, you know, then you take it out to market and you sell it. So it is so cool. The one thing, the one thing I really love about stand up is nobody can tell me no, you know, it is in this business, you get in TV developmental deals, they take forever. You know, you got to get a thousand attorneys involved, all this shit. But through standup, I can just pop into a place, get on stage, say my picture, peace. Do the damn thing. And as long as there are asses in seats, listen, there could be one person in the audience. I'm like, we're gonna have a good time. But like, that is. It is the. The greatest love of my life, other than my family is getting to do stand up. And it just brings me so much joy.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

It's so incredible. It's gonna be on Hulu, right? Yeah. What is the exact date it comes out?

[Heather McMahon]

That's a great question. I don't know. But we will post on Instagram. It's coming out very soon.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

I know. It's going to be insane. I was gonna say the date I'm gonna do.

[Heather McMahon]

Can I just tell you right now? I do think it should win a Peabody. I should at least get nominated for the Emmys.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

I'm sorry, people again.

[Heather McMahon]

Hi, My name's Heather McMahon. My comedy special breadwinner is coming out on Hulu. And when I tell you I'm a bad bitch, I'm wearing a denim outfit that's bedazzled and it is probably going to be one of the greatest pieces of art and comedy ever seen. It should be nominated for awards or at least give me a Mark Twain comedy award award. Thank you so much. God bless. Live, laugh, love.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Tune in on bleep.

[Heather McMahon]

It's very soon.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

I'll put it in the screen.

[Heather McMahon]

I have never been great with details.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Okay.

[Heather McMahon]

Yeah.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

I'm so excited for you. Oh, my God. That was like a. We're like bleep. Hello? Okay, we're back. Wrapping up. We're like, we need to shut the up and go film some content.

[Heather McMahon]

But this has been really fun.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Has it?

[Heather McMahon]

Can I tell you, I. I really enjoy you. I'm not blowing smoke up your ass. This has been fun. I'm so proud of you. I know we just met, but it. It is so cool to see doing it.

[Alex Cooper]

I know.

[Heather McMahon]

Just doing it, period. And you should be so proud of yourself.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Thank you. I feel the same way about you. That's why it's so fun to do what we do. Cuz I feel like we get to, like, see each other on social media and it's always funny to be like, what is this going to be like? I'm sure you thought that when you were coming here, like, what is Alex, we're going to be like. And I. I am so happy you're so normal and like, you're humble and you're amazing and your tits are amazing.

[Heather McMahon]

Thank you. I really appreciate it and I just want you all to know, know, you know, be the you today that you want to be tomorrow.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Heather, I love you. Thank you for coming on call.

[Heather McMahon]

I love you. Thank you for having me.

[Alex Cooper]

Daddy. Gang, you know what's hotter than a new episode of Call Her Daddy? A new episode with zero ads. Yeah, you heard that right. Subscribe to Sirius XM podcast plus on Apple Podcasts or visit siriusxm siriusxm.com podcast plus to listen ad free on Spotify or whatever app you're obsessed with. No interruptions. All the chaos Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Bic Soleil Glide. So many moments of my life are unplanned where I'm thinking I'm going to a meeting or I think I'm going here and then all of a sudden.

[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

Matt's like, oh, let's go on a date night later tonight. And I'm like, oh my God.

[Alex Cooper]

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[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

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[Alex Cooper]

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[Co-host/Interviewer (possibly a friend or fellow podcaster)]

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