Call Her Daddy Podcast Summary
Episode Title: Hunter Schafer: Polyamory, Cheating & Fame (FBF)
Host: Alex Cooper
Guest: Hunter Schafer
Release Date: February 28, 2025
Introduction
In this emotionally charged and insightful episode of Call Her Daddy, host Alex Cooper sits down with actress and model Hunter Schafer to delve deep into Hunter's personal journey. From her upbringing in North Carolina to navigating fame, polyamory, and the complexities of romantic relationships, Hunter opens up about her experiences and the lessons she's learned along the way. This conversation is a raw and honest exploration of identity, love, and self-discovery, offering listeners a comprehensive look into Hunter's life beyond the screen.
1. Early Life and Family Background
Hunter Schafer begins by sharing her tumultuous upbringing in North Carolina, a place she initially despised. Growing up as a queer individual in the South, Hunter faced significant challenges and cultural barriers.
[15:08] Hunter Schafer:
"I really hated North Carolina. Being queer in the South is not easy. It's culturally a completely different place than the cities where I can be myself without feeling like there's a Target on my back all the time."
Hunter's parents are both pastors, adding another layer of complexity to her journey of self-acceptance. Despite the supportive sibling relationships that developed over time, Hunter often felt isolated and misunderstood during her formative years.
[19:11] Hunter Schafer:
"My dad is a pastor, and my mom works in children's ministry. Growing up in that environment added another layer of complexity to being queer."
Hunter's early realization of her sexuality and gender identity led her to seek solace in art and creative expression, helping her cope with the internal and external struggles she faced.
2. Coming Out and Transitioning
Transitioning during high school marked a pivotal moment in Hunter's life. She recounts the anxiety and confusion that accompanied her decision, especially within the conservative setting of her hometown.
[16:47] Hunter Schafer:
"Middle school was probably the hardest. Young teenage boys can be pretty gnarly, especially when confronted with someone they don't understand. But I found my cute little nerdy friend group, and that was my first experience of being myself and feeling okay."
Hunter emphasizes the importance of finding a supportive friend group during this time, which provided her with the strength to embrace her true self despite the lack of understanding from those around her.
3. Navigating Fame and Acting Career
Hunter transitioned from modeling to acting, landing a role in the critically acclaimed series Euphoria. She candidly discusses the unexpected nature of her acting career and the profound impact fame has had on her life.
[40:44] Hunter Schafer:
"I had no acting experience. They just wanted me to play myself with lines, and it worked for them. I keep getting callbacks and eventually got the role in Blade Runner 2099."
The sudden rise to fame brought both opportunities and challenges. Hunter describes her first experiences with public recognition, which left her feeling overwhelmed and anxious.
[47:10] Hunter Schafer:
"When I walked out of that interview, I was followed by paparazzi for the rest of the day. It was terrifying because my body didn't know what was happening, even though my mind understood."
Despite the initial shock, Hunter adapted by creating a clear distinction between her public persona and her private self, ensuring her mental well-being amidst the pressures of fame.
[48:46] Hunter Schafer:
"I've created this dichotomy between Hunter Schafer that I present to the world and Hunty, who my friends call me. Having them know me for who I am has been priceless."
4. Relationships: Polyamory vs. Monogamy
A significant portion of the conversation revolves around Hunter's experiences with different relationship structures. She opens up about her journey from polyamory to monogamy and the personal growth that accompanied these shifts.
[72:03] Hunter Schafer:
"I've done both polyamory and monogamy. Poly is so much work with constant communication and balancing multiple relationships. Monogamy is simpler but comes with its own challenges, like potential for deeper emotional pain."
Hunter reflects on her first relationship in Euphoria, highlighting how her understanding of love and commitment evolved through that experience.
[76:16] Hunter Schafer:
"My first relationship was with another trans woman, which was my introduction to sex and romance. It was beautiful and taught me so much about myself and relationships."
She also discusses her transition into monogamous relationships, particularly her relationship with her husband, which introduced her to new dimensions of love and partnership.
[84:22] Hunter Schafer:
"My relationship with my husband showed me that monogamy can be deeply fulfilling. Despite the challenges, it's a different kind of love that I cherish."
However, Hunter is candid about the difficulties that come with monogamy, especially in the context of fame and public scrutiny.
[85:00] Hunter Schafer:
"Monogamy requires a lot of communication and trust. When you're in the public eye, it complicates things further, but it's a journey worth taking."
5. Dealing with Cheating and Personal Growth
Hunter shares her painful experience of being cheated on in a monogamous relationship, a situation that profoundly affected her perception of love and trust.
[79:06] Hunter Schafer:
"Being cheated on changed me. I realized that betrayal has nothing to do with who I am; it's about the other person's issues. It was a pivotal moment for my personal growth."
She emphasizes the importance of self-reflection and understanding one's own value beyond external validation.
[80:22] Hunter Schafer:
"My brain, because of how I've been socialized as a trans woman, kept telling me it's all my fault. But I've learned that it's not. It's about the other person's choices and struggles."
Hunter's resilience shines through as she discusses how these experiences have fortified her sense of self and informed her future relationships.
6. New Project: "Cuckoo"
Transitioning from her experiences in Euphoria, Hunter introduces her first lead role in the horror film Cuckoo. She expresses her excitement and the challenges she faced during the production.
[86:26] Hunter Schafer:
"This is my first lead role in a horror movie, and I'm thrilled. Filming in an abandoned post-WWII military village was both terrifying and exhilarating."
Hunter discusses her passion for the horror genre and how working with director Tumen Singer allowed her to explore new facets of her craft.
[86:56] Hunter Schafer:
"I love horror for its stylistic elements. Working with Tumen Singer was a dream come true, and Cuckoo feels like a baby, my first real movie."
She reflects on the physical challenges of filming, particularly in eerie locations, and the sense of camaraderie she developed with the cast and crew.
[88:03] Hunter Schafer:
"Shooting at night in those abandoned buildings was scary, but the cast and crew felt like family. It made the experience unforgettable."
7. Balancing Fame and Personal Life
Hunter elaborates on how she maintains her authentic self amidst the demands of fame. She acknowledges the importance of a supportive network of friends and family who recognize her true identity beyond her public persona.
[48:46] Hunter Schafer:
"Having wonderful friends and family who know me for who I am ensures that I can stay grounded. They treat me as Hunty, not as the famous Hunter Schafer."
She also touches upon the difficulty of maintaining personal relationships while constantly being in the spotlight, highlighting the need for clear boundaries and self-care.
[90:03] Hunter Schafer:
"I've learned to channel my creative energy into acting, which has become another form of art for me. It helps balance the pressures of fame and allows me to stay true to myself."
8. Coping with Public Scrutiny and Mental Health
Hunter doesn't shy away from discussing the mental health challenges that come with being in the public eye. She shares her strategies for coping with anxiety and the invasive nature of fame.
[35:06] Hunter Schafer:
"Fame can make existing in public harder, especially for someone who is socially anxious. I've had to develop ways to balance my public persona with my private self."
She emphasizes the importance of mental health support and the role of therapy in navigating these challenges, encouraging listeners to seek help when needed.
[35:10] Hunter Schafer:
"All the time. Therapy helps in identifying green flags in relationships and practicing them, which is crucial for building healthy connections."
Notable Quotes
Throughout the episode, Hunter Schafer shares memorable insights that resonate deeply with listeners:
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On Finding Self-Identity:
[30:33] Hunter Schafer:
"Being trans has been one of the great challenges of my life. It has taught me the power of intuition and that all the answers are inside of me." -
On Relationships and Growth:
[85:00] Hunter Schafer:
"Monogamy is simple but comes with its own challenges. It's a journey worth taking despite the complexities." -
On Coping with Fame:
[48:46] Hunter Schafer:
"Having wonderful friends and family who know me for who I am ensures that I can stay grounded."
Conclusion
This episode of Call Her Daddy offers a profound glimpse into Hunter Schafer's life, highlighting her resilience, self-awareness, and continuous journey toward self-acceptance and growth. Through her candid discussions about identity, fame, and relationships, Hunter provides valuable insights and relatable experiences that many listeners will find inspiring and comforting. Alex Cooper skillfully navigates the conversation, allowing Hunter's authenticity and strength to shine through, making this episode a standout in the Call Her Daddy series.
Key Takeaways:
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Importance of Support Systems: Hunter underscores the significance of having a reliable support network during challenging times, especially when navigating personal identity and public scrutiny.
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Navigating Different Relationship Structures: Her experiences with both polyamory and monogamy offer listeners a nuanced understanding of the complexities and rewards associated with each.
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Coping with Fame: Hunter's strategies for maintaining her true self amidst fame highlight the importance of boundaries, self-care, and mental health support.
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Personal Growth Through Adversity: Despite facing significant challenges, Hunter's journey illustrates how adversity can lead to personal growth and a deeper understanding of oneself.
This episode serves as an empowering narrative for anyone grappling with self-identity, the pressures of fame, or the intricacies of modern relationships. Hunter Schafer's heartfelt storytelling and Alex Cooper's empathetic hosting create a compelling and enriching listening experience.
