I Called Off My Engagement (ft. Lauren)

Summary

Call Her Daddy - Episode: "I Called Off My Engagement" (ft. Laren)

Release Date: May 14, 2025
Hosts: Lauren and Matt
Guest: Laren

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1. Introduction and Setting the Scene [02:01 - 05:57]

The episode kicks off with Lauren and Matt sharing a lighthearted anecdote about a past girls' weekend in Los Angeles. They reminisce about a humorous incident where their relaxed poolside gathering was mistaken for a wild party by Matt’s neighbor, leading to a noise complaint. This story sets a casual and relatable tone for the episode.

Notable Quote:

• Lauren: “It looks like there was like a fucking brothel back there.” [04:24]

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2. Matt’s Breakup and Moving On [13:25 - 22:00]

The conversation shifts to Matt discussing his recent breakup, which occurred five months prior. He emphasizes the importance of maintaining no contact post-breakup, stating, “My best piece of advice? Truly, go no contact.” [13:42]. Lauren highlights Matt’s strength in handling the breakup maturely, praising his ability to focus on self-growth without relying on his ex.

Notable Quotes:

• Matt: “I have not talked to my ex once in any capacity since October, since we broke up.” [14:09]
• Lauren: “You're finding the answers within yourself.” [15:32]

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3. The Seriousness of the Past Relationship [16:39 - 21:19]

Lauren delves into the depth of Matt’s previous relationship, revealing that they had been together for almost three years and were on the verge of engagement. She recounts how Matt’s ex had planned to propose during the holiday season, involving both Matt and their mutual friends in the surprise. Despite the relationship’s seriousness, Lauren and Matt recognized deep compatibility issues that necessitated the breakup.

Notable Quotes:

• Matt: “We were living together, and it got to the point where he had a full plan to propose.” [16:39]
• Lauren: “He wanted to surprise you, like how you guys did for me.” [17:01]

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4. Reflection on Being Single and Personal Growth [22:36 - 35:35]

Matt shares his journey towards embracing singlehood, highlighting the newfound peace and confidence he feels. He discusses overcoming the societal and personal pressures of adhering to a timeline for relationships and children. Lauren applauds Matt’s self-awareness and his ability to prioritize his happiness without feeling the need to rush into another relationship.

Notable Quotes:

• Matt: “I have very deep, fulfilling friendships I can lean on if I need to.” [25:20]
• Lauren: “You have to look at yourself. Instead of trying so hard to force it.” [42:57]
• Matt: “I've never felt more Zen or peaceful in my entire life.” [34:39]

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5. Importance of Compatibility Over Convenience [35:35 - 43:29]

Lauren and Matt discuss the critical difference between love and compatibility. They stress that while love is essential, it is equally important to have aligned values, goals, and life plans. This alignment ensures long-term relationship satisfaction and prevents issues from escalating post-marriage.

Notable Quotes:

• Lauren: “If you don't have an actual good relationship, money is great, but it's not great if you're getting cheated on or emotionally abused.” [40:19]
• Matt: “Having compatibility is more rare than love itself.” [29:58]

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6. Overcoming Societal Pressures and Embracing Self-Worth [43:29 - 51:40]

The hosts address the societal expectations surrounding relationships and timelines, particularly the pressure women face to settle down by a certain age. Matt shares his struggle with the biological clock and his journey towards redefining his desires free from external pressures. Lauren emphasizes the importance of recognizing one’s own needs and not succumbing to the “marriage timeline” imposed by society.

Notable Quotes:

• Matt: “I need to have me time. It’s my time.” [48:13]
• Lauren: “You don’t have to do what our moms did.” [35:03]

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7. Advice to the Daddy Gang [40:06 - 51:15]

Lauren offers heartfelt advice to listeners navigating similar relationship challenges. She encourages embracing singlehood, prioritizing self-discovery, and avoiding rushed decisions based on external timelines or pressures. Matt echoes this sentiment, highlighting the value of self-awareness and the importance of building a fulfilling life independently.

Notable Quotes:

• Lauren: “If you don’t know, that’s your first step—spend some more alone time with yourself.” [51:11]
• Matt: “I feel like, very Zen at this current moment and not pressured and not rushed.” [32:56]

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8. Upcoming Plans and Conclusion [51:40 - 53:13]

The episode wraps up with Lauren and Matt sharing their excitement about upcoming summer plans, hinting at future announcements that will surprise their audience. They express gratitude for Matt’s openness and the uplifting nature of the episode, leaving listeners with a sense of hope and empowerment.

Notable Quote:

• Lauren: “So that's all. All good things are coming this summer.” [52:12]

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Key Takeaways:

• No Contact Rule: Essential for healing post-breakup ([13:42]).
• Self-Growth Over Compliance: Prioritizing personal happiness and self-awareness ([25:20], [34:39]).
• Compatibility is Crucial: Beyond love, shared values and life goals determine relationship longevity ([29:58], [40:19]).
• Defying Societal Timelines: Embracing singlehood without succumbing to external pressures ([35:03], [48:13]).
• Support Systems: Leaning on deep friendships for emotional support ([25:20]).
• Honesty and Communication: Maintaining honest conversations to foster personal growth and relationship clarity ([20:33], [42:57]).

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Conclusion

In this heartfelt episode of "Call Her Daddy," Lauren and Matt navigate the complexities of ending a significant relationship and the journey towards self-discovery and fulfillment in singlehood. Their candid discussions offer invaluable insights and relatable experiences, empowering listeners to prioritize their well-being and make informed relationship choices.

Transcript

[Alex Cooper]

Hi, Daddy Gang, it is your father. I am so excited that CallerDaddy has officially joined the SiriusXM family. I cannot wait to talk to new guests and continue to share my crazy personal stories and experiences with you every single week. If you want to hear new episodes ad free, subscribe to Sirius XM podcasts on Apple Podcasts to start your free trial today. Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Burger King. It's cold, it's sweet, it's tangy and crunchy. And it's here for a limited time only. Daddy Gang. Get yourselves over to Burger King where you can sip on your newest obsession, the new frozen strawberry and nerds drink. The strawberry flavor on its own is so refreshing and divine, but the tanginess and crunchiness of the nerds elevate the experience, making it a 10 out of 10 availability. Available at participating US Burger King restaurants. This is the pairing you didn't know you needed. Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Nordstrom Rack. Great deals, great prices. Everyone's got a reason to rack. And now amazing deals for every day of summer are at Nordstrom Rack stores and they're up to 60% off. Yes, you heard that right, Daddy Gang. Did you know Nordstrom Rack has Adidas and Nike and Vince, seriously, they have so many good brands. I feel like I always go with.

[Lauren]

My mom and I'm like, oh my.

[Alex Cooper]

God, look at all the good stuff. You can always find something amazing. But don't wait. The best deals go fast, save big on Marc Jacobs made well, Steve Madden and more. Plus, buy it online and pick it up in store the same day for free. Great brands, great prices. That's why you rock. What is up, Daddy Gang? It is your founding father, Alex Cooper with Call Her Daddy.

[Lauren]

Daddy Gang. Welcome back to another episode of Call Her Daddy. Lauren and I are sitting. We kind of feel like we look like the parents from Willy Wonka. We are sitting on the couch, but we really wanted to like be comfortable and not have our feet fall asleep on the couch. And so we're in a little bit of a relaxed situation, but we're happy.

[Matt]

I could like doze off right here. Like I could take like a nap in this position.

[Lauren]

I'm really cozy.

[Matt]

Same.

[Lauren]

Okay, wait. Oh. So just for context, Lauren and I are on kind of like a girls weekend in Los Angeles. Matt is taking his brother to go golf because my brother in law and my sister in law.

[Alex Cooper]

No.

[Matt]

Yeah, your brother in law and sister in law.

[Lauren]

Sister in law.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

But does that make it sound like their brother and Sister.

[Matt]

No, they're both. He's your brother in law. She's your sister in law.

[Lauren]

Okay. It is. Yeah, yeah. My brother in law and sister in law are having a baby. And so Matt is taking his brother to go golf. And on like, on a little golf trip before they like, have a kid, whatever. And so Lauren's in town and we were like, oh my God, why don't we stay, relax, go have like a nice pool, spa weekend, girls weekend. And we're going to drink a little bit, we're going to chill, and it's going to be a good time.

[Matt]

We're going to order these grill green margaritas that when it's the two of us, we like to order them for delivery and get a little weird together.

[Lauren]

Well, they're just like those kind of sneaky margaritas that like, you get really fud up from them. And the last time or the first.

[Matt]

Time, we didn't know how strong they were.

[Lauren]

When I moved to Los Angeles with Lauren, we were staying at Matt's house and he was away on a business trip. And Lauren and I, he was like, you guys should order from this place. And we got these margaritas and they're so fucking good. They're these like cucumber green margaritas. So Lauren and I started downing them. And we're in the hot tub with floats, which was weird in itself. And we're in the hot tub and we're with our floaties and slowly we're like blasting music.

[Alex Cooper]

Oh, we found out how to do.

[Lauren]

The strobe lights in the pool.

[Matt]

Yes.

[Lauren]

And we were DJing and then we.

[Matt]

Like passed out in the living room and like, didn't turn the music off. Didn't turn the pool strobe lights off. Matt's neighbor called him and gave him a noise complaint.

[Lauren]

And so Matt looks at his security cameras and it looks like we actually threw a rager at his house.

[Matt]

And he's like calling you, like, you guys aren't like really like, official official yet. He's like calling you and he's like, like, I just have to say, like, this is so disrespectful. Like, I let you guys, like, use my house in my pool, like, throw a party.

[Lauren]

And we were like, well, you see, actually there was no party. Well, it was a party, but just two people. It was just Lauren and I. And he's like, I'm having a hard time believing that, Alex. Like, look at my backyard. It looks like there was like a fucking brothel back there. And I was like.

[Matt]

And like, the neighbor called and gave me a noise complaint. Like, I've never had that happen since I've lived here.

[Lauren]

And I was like, it's just the two of us. And so Lauren and I now always have a joke with Matt where we're like, we're hitting the green marks again and he's like, jesus fucking Christ. The two of you together? But to be fair, I feel like whenever it's just the two of us together and we're not, like, interacting with other people, we have a pretty, like, straight and narrow path that we go on.

[Matt]

What's our straight and narrow path?

[Lauren]

We love either alcohol or marijuana to, like, have a little fun together. Not in that way. That sounds weird, but you know what I mean. Like, we like our little, like, thing, but then we're like, usually passing out pretty early. And, like, we're not.

[Matt]

We're not night people.

[Lauren]

No.

[Matt]

We thrive in the daytime and we love like a 10pm bedtime.

[Lauren]

And I feel like the older I'm getting, I'm like, I can have these, like, fun rager moments, which I feel like I. I've been having lately, but it has to be spread out. And a lot of times, like, I'm going to go to bed at least by midnight.

[Matt]

I'm not the type of person just to, like, stay up for the hell of it. Like, if. If there's something worthwhile staying up for. Like, Miami, we had late nights and.

[Lauren]

It was so fun.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

Like, after we would be at the party or we would go to the strip club. We need to talk about the strip club. I just thought about that as I'm staring at your face. We would go out, but then we would always come back to me and Matt's room and we would all sit there and like, have a. Like a nightcap and talk and schmooze and do the thing that was enj to me. But if it's me and Matt or it's just me and you, there's no.

[Matt]

Part I don't need to ruin my tomorrow. Like, we're going to get. We're going to hit the hay.

[Lauren]

We can still drink a bottle of wine and go to bed and wake up the next day. Yep. Speaking of the Miami strip club.

[Matt]

Yes.

[Lauren]

Can we tell the daddy gang?

[Matt]

Yes.

[Lauren]

Yes.

[Alex Cooper]

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[Lauren]

A meeting to a dinner, dinner to an event.

[Alex Cooper]

And if I'm being honest, I definitely.

[Lauren]

Don'T have time to wash my hair every day.

[Alex Cooper]

Okay.

[Lauren]

If I'm lucky, I can maybe wash it like, once a week.

[Alex Cooper]

So I really rely on Batiste light.

[Lauren]

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[Alex Cooper]

Plus, it absorbs right away without leaving.

[Lauren]

That, like, grainy white residue behind. I brought Batiste with me to a.

[Alex Cooper]

Girls trip last weekend, and I cannot tell you how many of my friends were like, alex, can I borrow your dry shampoo again? The girls know I am always coming.

[Lauren]

With multiple bottles of Batiste Light in my suitcase because when I'm on the go, I definitely need some help to.

[Alex Cooper]

Keep my hair looking fresh.

[Lauren]

Batiste Light has been a complete game changer for me. So daddy gang, go buy Batiste light.

[Alex Cooper]

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[Lauren]

So we throw our Unwell Miami weekend, and it was truly so fun. And Lauren comes, and we end up after a night at the Unwell Club. We do a late, late night, and we go to 11 in Miami, which is a club, strip club. So we get to the club and we are. We get a table. We are all standing there, and I remember I'm, like, talking to Matt, and he's Whispering my ear. And then all of a sudden, I look and Lauren is standing with this tall man and at our table. And I know who this man is because he's a reality star and he's been to a couple of our events before. But I know my best friend is barely has social media and doesn't watch reality tv and she has no idea who this person is.

[Matt]

No idea.

[Lauren]

You just think he's like, a hot guy.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

And then the next morning, I asked Lauren, like, wait, what? No, we get in the van to leave because we end up leaving because we were like, it was too crowded and like, none of the strippers could even come to our table, which was like, I was ready for, like, a lap dance to throw some bands. Yes, I want. I brought fucking A bunch of cash. I was like, ready to fucking pay the strippers. And then they never ended up being able to get to our table. So we were like, this isn't even as much as fun. We leave, we get into the van and tell the daddying. What. What happened with your night?

[Matt]

So I hadn't. Before we ended up at 11, I had maybe shared five words with this guy. Like, quite literally five words. And we were standing at the table. It's, like, really crowded. So, like, we're just like, touching because it's so crowded. And at this point, we've maybe hit a higher word count of, like, we've shared a few sentences.

[Lauren]

Okay.

[Matt]

Like, not much has been happening.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Matt]

And maybe sentence number five is he looks at me and holds out all of his money and goes, do you want to go to the back room right now and get a private lap dance, the two of us? And, like, it's like 2:30 in the morning, and, like, I'm like, kind of drunk, but I'm not like, hammered.

[Lauren]

And so you don't even have. I think at that point, because we had left the club and hung out for a minute before we went, and.

[Matt]

It was kind of a mission to get into 11.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Matt]

Like, I kind of, like, sobered up a little bit in the process of, like, getting into 11. Yeah.

[Lauren]

So, like, we. None of us had a buzz. No, we were sober at 11.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

Which was fine.

[Matt]

Fine.

[Lauren]

But to get a sober lap dance with a man that you've barely.

[Matt]

I've been around the block.

[Lauren]

Yes.

[Matt]

A few times. No. Well, I've been to. This is like my third time at, like, 11. So, like, I know what goes down in the private rooms in the back.

[Lauren]

Yes.

[Matt]

It would not just be us getting a lap dance. It would be us having a threesome with a stripper. And I was like, you know, at this current intoxication level, I don't really have it in me to go from just like not having a vibe to having a threesome with a stripper.

[Lauren]

But you were just like, I'm literally like, fresh sober, basically.

[Matt]

I'm like, sober and like, there's not like sexual tension. Yeah. Like, we've had like, we're like, we're cracking the small talk.

[Lauren]

We're trying to like, gauge like, like, what's your name?

[Matt]

What's your occupation?

[Lauren]

Who are you exactly? I remember in real time when this was happening. I turn and I clearly hit you right in that middle of that conversation, because all I remember hearing you say is, let me have one more drink and think about it. That was literally your response. And I'm looking at you and I'm looking up at him being like, what did he just ask her for Lauren? And be like, let me have one more drink and think about it, because you're a down ass bitch. So I was like, what is Lauren postponing in order to, like, liquor herself up? And then I find out that he basically asked you to go into the private room. And then we left and he stayed. But for now, Lauren's still on the hun.

[Matt]

I'm just out there living my life.

[Lauren]

But I feel like you're in a really good headspace of, like, you are really, really in a good way single now because, like, how long has it been since your breakup?

[Matt]

Like, five months now.

[Lauren]

Okay, wow.

[Matt]

Something I was saying that I was really proud of myself. I was telling you this this morning. I went no contact after my breakup, which is like, anyone I meet who's going through a breakup, and they're like, what's your best piece of advice? Truly? Like, go no contact. Like, you have to, like, I have no better advice than go no contact. And, like, you have to stick by it. I have not talked to my ex once in any capacity since October, since we broke up.

[Lauren]

And it was like, I remember I had said to you I was nervous for you because you guys obviously live together. So once the breakup happened, you had to, like, figure out, like, all the.

[Matt]

There was a lot of logistics to sort out.

[Lauren]

But then once that happened and the last day that you guys saw each other of, like, you got to take things from the apartment and all the.

[Matt]

Final, like, very nice.

[Lauren]

Like, goodbye.

[Matt]

Goodbye.

[Lauren]

I was so proud of you because I was so scared of that. Like, you guys also shared each other's locations and stuff. And I was like, is she going to? Is she going to? And then I remember I talked to you, like, a week after, and you were like, unchared location, haven't talked. It's over. And the fact that it's gone. No contact for five months, I feel like it's really allowed you to focus on yourself and not feel like you're lightly getting pulled back into it. Even if you had any questions that you've been kind of, like, going through in reflecting on the relationship, I feel like you've been just taking full accountability of, like, I don't need to ask him. I'm gonna do the work in therapy. About, like, why did I put up with this? Or, why did I do this? Or, why did I act this way? Like, whatever it is, you're finding the answers within yourself. And I think a lot of times, daddy gang, we can use questions we have and think, well, it's just closure. I just want to have one more conversation because I want to kind of, like, figure out why we both did this. And it's like, that's just prolonging you being able to move on.

[Matt]

I agree.

[Lauren]

Right. So talk to me now, though, about, like, five months out of a breakup. What have you realized about yourself? Because I don't think the daddy gang knows how close how, like, serious it was our.

[Matt]

My relationship.

[Lauren]

Because I think in a beautiful way, I found my boundary of, like, privacy that I feel like I needed to instill in with this show and. And with the Internet, and I'm so happy I did that. And I feel like you with call her daddy in a completely understandable way. Like, he was a private person, and you and I aren't that private of people. Like, we don't really care. So. But the people we've been are with and you were with wanted privacy, and so, like, you were respecting that. So you didn't really talk about your relationship a lot. So I think a lot of people online I even saw still to this day are like, wait, Lauren broke up with the boyfriend? And, like, so she's single and, like, what's happening? Like, do you mind explaining how close you were to, like, this being the person you were about to spend the rest of your life with?

[Matt]

Yeah, it was really serious. We dated for almost three years. For the last six months of our relationship, we were living together, and it got to the point where he had a full plan to propose. He talked to my mom and her fiance, like, and had, like, a dinner with them and told him he was going to Propose.

[Lauren]

He talked to me and Matt. He talked to Kristen. Kristen's our other best friend from childhood. Like, at our wet Me and Matt's wedding, he went to Kristen and was like, oh, my gosh. I obviously, like, can't. I don't want to bring it up to Alex and Matt right now because they're literally getting married. But I want to propose to Lauren during the, like, holiday new year time. And can you just, like, make sure you put us all on chat? Because I want to make sure that they can be there because they want. He wanted us to, like, surprise you, like, how you guys did for me.

[Matt]

Him and I came to your engagement.

[Lauren]

So it was like, very concrete.

[Alex Cooper]

Oh.

[Matt]

Like there was a date. You knew a date when he was gonna, like, you knew the date he was going to propose.

[Lauren]

And you guys had talked about the ring. Right.

[Matt]

We were going to, like, do something with, like, a family, like, diamond. And you knew, like, where it was going to be. Like, it was. It was planned.

[Lauren]

Yes, that was happening. And I think as your friend, I remember when I heard that, I was so torn. Torn, yeah, that's a good word. Because I was like, that could one day make sense. But from the stuff that I had heard from you, I wasn't sure you guys were, like, ready for that. But I'm not in your relationship, obviously, so I was like, I need to just, like, catch up with Lauren. And obviously I didn't want to tell you. He's gonna propose to you.

[Matt]

Can I say yes? So, like, you ended up like, yeah, I had to. We had one of those dinners where you're like, you were just like, I can tell that, like, you're holding a lot in right now. Like, can you, like, just let it all out?

[Lauren]

Zero judgment.

[Matt]

Zero judgment. You can tell me everything. And if you want to stay, you can still stay. But, like, I can feel you're not telling me everything and you're just holding a lot in, like, let it out. So we have one of those three hour dinners where I was just like, we're vomiting everything. Everything. And then after I told you that, you were like, I am really feeling conflicted right now because, like, if it does work out, like, I obviously don't want to, like, ruin your engagement, but, like, I don't know if you know how close it is to actually happening. And I want you to be able to have the tools to feel in control of your life and not have it to sneak up on you. And you have. And you feel like you're kind of backed into a Corner and saying yes, because you're like, ah, shit. Like, how? Like, what? We're here. Oh, okay, let's go through it. It's like you. You ended up telling me he's gonna propose on this day to kind of be like, you kind of do have a window of like, yeah, you gotta figure some things out.

[Lauren]

Because I was like, Lauren, that was like, one of the harder things I think I've. I was going back and forth with. And I think, again, in the best way. I feel like our relationship is so beautiful because I feel like we both talk about. We have so many friends that you communicate with friends differently. But you and I have always had this thing where it's like, we're so honest with each other, and I think we both have found our way to be, even when it's hard. What we're gonna talk about. We are so, like, graceful in the way that we approach things with each other and respectful.

[Matt]

We very, very much have. I feel like a policy of, like, it is your life, and I don't know your life. And like, you. It's your life.

[Lauren]

Yes. And it's also, as your best friend.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

I have to share this about the things I'm seeing, and then I'm. Once that's out, I'm here to game plan everything that you need.

[Matt]

And I'll support you.

[Lauren]

Yes. Whatever.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

And I think that was, like, a thing that I would give Daddy Gang is like, I. I forgot that I remember multiple times in that conversation because I had literally talked about it with my therapist, and she had said, like, you have to continue to reassure Lauren.

[Matt]

I'm so happy you told me.

[Lauren]

Okay. That makes me feel good. No, but. And I. And you were great in the moment, and I think I. I stand by it too. But again, Daddy Gang, if you are in this position where you're seeing your friend, not in the best relationship, and you're like, how do I do it? You have to come from the place of, like, you have to remind them that you're not judging them, that you will be there no matter what, and you're there to listen. And. But you also have, like, some information that you want to give them, but you're not putting it on them to, like, now deal with a loan.

[Matt]

And.

[Lauren]

And I feel like when I told you it was gonna happen over New Year's, you were like, whoa, okay.

[Matt]

And we really, for context, like, this past New Year.

[Lauren]

Yes. This past New Year's, Lauren was gonna get engaged. And I think you were so, like, whoa, this is Another big red flag of like, how does he think that can even happen when all of these problems are happening? And I think that was kind of when it all started to unravel a little bit more for you because you really were just seeing like, like, huh.

[Matt]

It was kind of like a, like a, like a, like a date that was like being put on. Like, oh, I have to like figure this out. Like it put like this like rush and urgency to like figure my out. Like before I was like, I'll keep figuring on it. Keep figuring out. I was like, oh, like I have to like figure this out now.

[Lauren]

And so once you guys ended the relationship, what do you feel like you in now being single? Like, what do you feel like you've now realized like you really want and need in a partner moving forward?

[Alex Cooper]

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[Lauren]

Great.

[Alex Cooper]

Yeah. But they are also stylish enough for everyday wear and comfortable enough for lounging around. You guys know me and how I feel about a jogger. About a sweatpant. This is the go to Boom. You're wearing it in the morning and then you go to the office and you have a meeting in your Vori performance jogger. Okay? Also they have the Dream Knit collection. They are made of Vori softest premium stretch fabric. They are so comfortable you'll want to wear them all the time. Anything that is labeled Dream knit collection, I'm in. Okay? I'm in.

[Lauren]

And I'm going to wear.

[Alex Cooper]

The performance jogger is also lightweight moisture wicking and features a four way performance stretch. I need to be comfortable. If you know your father, I need to be able to wear this to the airport, to lounge on the couch, to go to the office, to even go on a date night with Matt. I have worn joggers. Okay? So boom. Vori is an investment in your happiness for our listeners. They are offering 20% off your first purchase. Get yourself some of the most comfortable and versatile clothing on the planet at vori.com/dummy that's V U O R I.com/dummy exclusions apply. Visit the website for full terms and conditions. Call Her Daddy is brought to you by White Claw. I don't know who needs to Hear this, but you are way too hot to be spending the summer sitting inside scrolling on your phone. Stop letting plans fizzle out in the group chat. Get outside and make some memories. And you know what goes perfectly with a 7UV index and yapping with your girls? A can of cold white claw. That's right, daddy gang. It is White Claw Summer. 100 calories in 12 glorious ounces. Gluten free and tastes you know and love. There's an ice cold claw for everyone. I personally love the black cherry. Matt loves a good lime. Lauren loves a good mango. Come out of hibernation and stop leaving everyone on red. Or finding a guy with a boat and having a damn drink. Pick up a pack from your local spot and grab life by the claw with your favorite flavor this summer. Please drink responsibly. Hard seltzer with flavors. White Claw Seltzer Works Chicago, Illinois in.

[Lauren]

Now being single, like, what do you feel like you've now realized, like, you really want and need in a partner moving forward?

[Matt]

I want to feel like they got me and that like, I can have like a bad day or go through something difficult and like they'll pick me up and like, kind of like help me get through it and like carry me through it. But like, when I was talking to my therapist about it, she was like, oh, like, do you feel like that's something lacking in your life right now? Like, do you feel like, unsupported and unable to like, get yourself through hard moments? And I was like, literally the opposite. Like, I feel like I have very deep, fulfilling friendships I can lean on if I need to. I end my days and I feel strong and confident and like secure in what I need to work through and get through and like, that I can handle it. And I'm not like, overwhelmed and like, I'm not lonely, which I think I'm really happy that something that I want isn't like a need I'm trying to fill. Like, it's not like a deficit in my life that like, I'm trying to like, like, find a person to fulfill. It's just like I just like, want like, partnership.

[Lauren]

You said that to me the other day when we were in the car and I thought it was so profound. And I want to keep talking about this a little bit for the daddying because you were like, every time my therapist was challenging me, like, oh, are you wanting that because of X? Like, I feel like you've gotten so good being alone and I feel like you've always been a relationship girl. So I'M so proud of you right now. Like, I've never really, really, really seen you just, like, single, Lauren, like, for this long in a strong way where you're like. I'm a little like, oh, she'll. I wonder what she's gonna do. You're like. You've never been. I feel like, happier, and you don't have a partner.

[Matt]

I was joking. I was like, I've never been happier, and I've never been hotter.

[Lauren]

No, literally. No, it's so true. You've never been happier. You've never been hotter. You just turned 30. You're thriving. And I feel like something that it's obvious is, like, for the daddy gang. Like, we have both been at points in our life where we're both single and we aren't that good at being alone, and so we're, like, chasing after something. Like, tell me if I'm. If you're okay with me saying this, but I think something that you had talked to me about that was, like, I think very relatable was, like, this was the first relationship that you were like. I actually felt like I was, like, this person, like, genuinely loved me, and, like, I was genuinely in love, so it's hard to walk away from that was like, I've.

[Matt]

I had a relationship before, but it was, like, coming. It was like, a college relationship that became post college, and, like, that was the first time I was, like, I was deeply in love. Like, I was in love with this person.

[Lauren]

And I remember it was so sad because I remember you saying to me, lauren, you were like, I just, like, I feel like I've just, like, lost so many people in my life that, like, I love. So, like, I don't want to. What do I. I. My innate feeling is to hold on to this person because how am I going to just, like, oh, I was.

[Matt]

Yeah, I was so, like, this is it. Like, I've never been. I had never been in love before, and I had never felt that. And I was like, oh, like, this is it. Like, this is the feeling that, like, you fight for and, like, you go to, like, the end of, like, the earth for. And, like, I know that's not the case.

[Lauren]

Well, now, you know, once you really have that, like, first, like, adult relationship of love, I'm not talking about, like, we've all been in love, hopefully before, but when you're talking about, like, love, love of, like, oh, I could see a future with this person, then you really start to realize, which I think I'm so happy. I feel like we Were able to have a lot of conversations with like, me, you and Matt. Because I've learned so much being in my first year of marriage that I felt like you started to kind of like ask Matt and I questions throughout this class.

[Matt]

Matt has a lot of good experiences and does.

[Lauren]

And I feel like his advice a lot was like, you. There's so much more to a marriage than love.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

Like, if anything, that's like the easiest part.

[Matt]

Yes. I like, I was talking about that in therapy too. Of like. I think I like thought that like, love was so hard to like, come by and it was so rare. But like, what is more rare is having that love and then like the compatibility aspect of like, like, yes. Just like what you want and need out of life is also going to match up because like, yes, that's the hard part.

[Lauren]

Morals, values, compatibility, what you want as a family. What like literally your wise. Like how career, money.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

Socioeconomic. Where you're gonna live.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

How you interact with your in laws, what you want to. How you want to raise your kids, like where you want them to go to school. All of that is like that. I think people don't talk about it maybe enough where it's like you have to have these conversations, I genuinely believe, before you get married and before you get engaged. And I think a lot of times it's like people are feeling in love and then they're excited and they're moving in. And then you think once you get married then like you become. You like start to do all this. It's like, no, no, daddy Yang, you need to figure it out. But before, because I think again, you watched it with yourself is like you were in love. That was down. But then I think you've. And you have a lot of friends around you who are going through like whether they just got married or their first year of marriage or their second year of marriage. And so you're watching all of us kind of like, oh, I don't do this dance.

[Matt]

My, like all of my like clo. I have like, like say like my like five closest girlfriends. Like now they are all married and engaged.

[Lauren]

But. And do you to anyone that is the single friend in a dynamic like that. Like, can you talk about how you don't feel pressured by people just by seeing your friends at one stage of their life? Like, how are you maintaining just like confidence to not feel like, oh, I'm the only one, so I have to hurry up and do it. Like, how are you feeling? Like you're managing that because I. You Could. I don't know if I'm saying that right. Like, I feel like you're doing such a good job of just being like, and I'm so happy for all of you, and I'm happy for myself, and I'm good on my, like, what I'm doing.

[Matt]

The easy answer, and then, like, I'll give, like, the deeper answer. Like, I do. Like, I have. I have a few, like, newer friendships that, like, I've been investing more time into because they are single.

[Lauren]

Yeah.

[Matt]

And I do think it's important to, like, it's just helpful to, like, have people who are, like, oh, like, everyone's going on a date night tonight. Like, let's do this. Or, like, everyone's kind of tired. But, like, I, like, I don't want to sit home alone, like, all weekend. Like, let's at least, like, go out and, like, get a drink and, like, be social for, like, a minute. So, like, I think it is, like, really helpful to, like, have single. Have single friends when you're single. And then something else we were talking about recently kind of related to, like, how am I not feeling pressure in comparison and, like, left behind when all of my friends are. Are very much in, like, a different life stage than me, like, being single, like, is the minority, like, of my close friends right now. Because, like, I truly, truly feel, like, very Zen at this current moment and not pressured and not rushed. But when I first got out of my relationship, like, the first. This is kind of like a new. The Zen. This is kind of, like, really within, like, the past, like, month and a half. Ish.

[Lauren]

That's nice to hear because I'm sure girls are, like, going out of a breakup being like, bitch, I'm on my fourth month and I'm still struggling.

[Matt]

Yeah, it's like a very new, like.

[Lauren]

This level of, like, calmness.

[Matt]

Calmness, yeah. Is, like, kind of new. When I first got out of the relationship, I knew for a fact, like, I absolutely need to be single. I need to, like, reflect on stuff. I need to not rush into anything. Like, I need to have me time. Like, I knew that, but I didn't feel that right. I was like, I would be like, I need to be single. But, like, in the back of my mind, I'd be like, oh, like, times the clock's kind of ticking. Like, am I dragging my feet? I was doing, like, the numbers game where I was like, oh, so I'm 30 now. If I, like, take a year to be single, I'll start dating someone maybe at 31. I don't want to rush into an engagement. So, like, maybe I'll get engaged at 33, married at 34. Am I gonna immediately have a kid? Then a year into marriage at 35, and then, like, I was like, oh, my God. Like, I'm having a kid at 35. And, like, so I started playing that game, and, like, that was, like, kind of, like, suffocating and, like, consuming. I was so close to, like, locking in, like, this timeline that, like, I was seeing. Like, we were just saying I was, like, about to get engaged, and then I was like, okay, I'm gonna get engaged at 30. I'm gonna, like. And I had that kind of, like.

[Lauren]

Like, it was all laid out.

[Matt]

Yeah, it was kind of, like, like, clicking into, like, step. And it was like. Although there were things that weren't right and that I wasn't sure about and that were causing me stress, kind of seeing my life kind of start to, like, unfold, and, like, where it was going in front of me was comforting and, like, this sense of security and safety. So, like, it took a moment to.

[Lauren]

Like, shed that right, because I feel like that's something we should talk about, too. Of, like, I've done it before. A previous relationship prior to Matt, like, like, daddy gang, we've all been there. Or you're currently in it, where you are, you see the path, you see the future. And it is so comforting, knowing you. You can see, like, what your timeline.

[Matt]

Was at the point where I was like, oh, I can look five years ahead, and I can see where my life is going.

[Lauren]

And sometimes having the guy, it makes you feel like, even though I have these reservations, I'm okay with looking past it, because I can't give all this up. I can't give this timeline up. Like, I'm right here. I'm, like, right. I'm so close.

[Matt]

I was like, oh, I'm on, like, the last lap. Like, I'm so close to the finish line. Like, you don't throw in the towel, like, right when you're. For you about to cross the finish line.

[Lauren]

And I remember I said to Lauren when she was like, I feel like I was, like, right about to hit the finish line. I was like, babe, babe, you have not. You are literally putting on your outfit and your gear. You're not even in the race yet. Like, I know that sounds cheesy, but it's so true. It's like, if you feel like you're just about to get there, you're about to get the engagement, you're about to it's like, no, no, no, you haven't even started the marathon yet. You are literally just putting on the clothes to see if they fit. Does the uniform look good? Does it fit? How does it feel? Okay. Then when you start marriage, that's when the race begins. And I feel like. Or again. And even if it's not marriage for certain people, whether it's you want to have a kid or whether you decide to be life partners, but for you, I feel like that's such a relatable feeling to women listening of you don't want to disrupt what you feel like you've spent so much time building and you're willing to potentially look past these problems because holistically it's really starting to shape out. And the problem is what I've always said on this show, you guys, that my mom had always told me from a young age was like, anything that bothers you in your relationship will get 10 times worse when you're married foreign.

[Alex Cooper]

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[Lauren]

Anything that bothers you in your relationship will get 10 times worse when you're married. And that is disorienting and hard to hear because I think you and I had a lot of conversations of like, your ex is a good guy. Like, absolutely. It's just compatibility wise. We started to talk about things where.

[Matt]

It was like, it wasn't the right person for me.

[Lauren]

And we would be like, no, no, Lauren, like you're saying this and this is how it's making you feel.

[Matt]

But like, which I think was like another hard layer. Like nothing was like glaring. Like, yeah, there was no moment of like, oh, like that was so bad you have to end it.

[Lauren]

It was just like these micro things that you can kept. You know what? It was a lot of too, which is people listening. You may have this where you're just like, am I okay with this?

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

Am I okay with compromising? And when is it not compromising? And it's like actually kind of giving.

[Matt]

Up something that's important to me or something I did think I want in life. But like, is that superficial to want that?

[Lauren]

I think when you really got to the point of knowing is when you were laying it out and speaking to your friends a bunch. And it was like, like you were literally starting to compromise on every single thing in your life and everything. And it wasn't even compromise. It was just like, this isn't the.

[Matt]

Life I saw for myself.

[Lauren]

Yeah, you would say it, but it was like a story you were telling yourself. And then when you and this is where daddy gang, like finding friends to make sure that who won't judge you but can talk with it. Because I've been in the scenario too where I would go to Lauren when I was going through a breakup, being like, I'm so devastated, but you kept me on track to be like, but that that's not what you want. I feel like when you went through this, we did the same thing where it was like, this is hard that you're giving all this up, but how about you reframe it and think? Can you imagine if you went through with it just because it felt like, you were so close to the finish line, then you marry this guy and you have kids and every problem I.

[Matt]

Was gonna like, look up and be like, how is this my life?

[Lauren]

Right. Like, I didn't want any of this. Yeah, I don't agree with the way that we're doing this and this and this and this. But I wanted to just get the ring and get the marriage. And I think that's a really, really understandably relatable thing that women can feel like. I remember dating a guy that was so, like, financially stable at a time where I really wasn't. And it became, and I think also like growing up and not being like, having my parents have like all this money, even though being around friends that had it, I definitely, like, wanted that, like, and so it was attractive to me to have like, financial security. And so I was completely avoiding a lot of things that upset me or made me feel not good about myself because of this main thing that I thought, it's okay, I can look past these things because I feel safe with him. But it's like. But why do you feel safe with him? You don't feel like he's actually being like, faithful to you? It's because of the financial stability. And while that is a huge thing when you think about certain aspects, that doesn't mean if you don't have an actual good relationship, money is great, but it's not great if you're getting cheated on or you're getting emotionally abused or whatever it be. So I think a huge lesson for the daddy gang that we can take from what you're talking about is like, you felt in your gut, compatibility wise, you were off in moments, but you kept going forward because you really also didn't want to give up the good parts.

[Matt]

Yeah, the. That there was love there, that it was all kind of falling into place and like, making sense. And like, I remember saying, like in one of my like therapies I was having before, like, ending the relationship, I was like, I feel like I'm about to blow up my life. And she was like, you are. But like, that's one portion of your life. Like, you still have all of your friendships, you still have your career, you're still going to be you.

[Lauren]

That's what I think. So crazy. I remember that because we talked about that after that session you had. It was like, yeah, I guess you could say you're blowing up your life. Not really. You're just ending something that was going to bring you in one direction, but it's a portion and everything else is going to stay the same. I remember saying that. Do you remember? I was like, yeah, you're going to go to work on Monday, then you're going to go to drinks with your friends at night. Like, everything is kind of the same, but then a huge chunk will be missing. And so it's really, really terrifying as women, because we don't have the flexibility like men do to just keep it moving. Oh, that didn't. That one didn't work out. I can go over here. Like, they just. They have a different level of privilege. And while that is true, I really, truly believe that, like, staying in something just to appease one other aspect of your life that you're looking for is really going to come and bite you in the ass. So I also think being easier on yourselves if things aren't working, Daddy gang, recognizing that, that sometimes neither of you are bad people. It's just. It quite literally is like your traumas and your strong suits and your issues and your things that you bring to the table that are good and bad. Sometimes they just don't work with someone. And. And instead of trying so hard to force it, while, yes, a relationship is work, at some point you have to look at yourself. And I genuinely believe for you, Lauren, like, I'm so happy that you lived with him. I'm so happy that you went all the way to the point of seeing yourself in a dress with a ring, all of it. Because now we talk about this a lot of, like, I can't wait to see the person that you meet next because you are a better person because of that past relationship. Oh, like, thank God you met him.

[Matt]

And, like, there's things that. Oh, my therapist used to say every person you date gets you one step closer to the person you're supposed to marry. And, like, there's things that I would have no idea that I did not like and that I definitely need and that, like, triggers me. And I feel like I just, like, know myself a lot more now.

[Lauren]

And so technically, though, think about this, Daddy gang, if we're doing the math, although maybe you would be engaged right now and planning a wedding. We have talked about, like, now knowing how much there was breaking down, there's a chance either one, you would have been in a really pretty unfulfilling unhappy marriage, which could have ended in divorce. Now you're still so much closer, though, to just pure happiness of finding your person. And I think that should hold a lot of hope in a lot of people's minds. If you're about to end something or this episode is helping you think about reevaluating. Do you want to take that next step? While, yes, the next step seems super straightforward and easy, if you're not a hundred percent in knowing that's the right next step, you're then gonna have to take a lot of back steps once you go forward, because it's gonna be like, well, this isn't working. Don't force something that's not there. Everyone's timelines. While, yes, it can be straightforward, a lot of times with timelines, they're just gonna, like, you into making, like, more rushed decisions where it's like, if you didn't have this in your head and if we didn't have a time clock, like, would you make that decision?

[Matt]

I think that has been, like, the timeline and the time clock and the biological clock and children has been. And, like, really sitting and thinking, like, about that aspect has been one of the things, the most freeing aspects for me of, like, I truly feel like. So I've never felt more Zen or peaceful in my entire life and calm and, like, not rushed and, like, awake and confident and, like, sure. And I think it's because I've been having really honest conversations with myself about what was really fueling that, like, urgency and that rush and that countdown and it's children and motherhood. And I. If you would have asked me six months ago, a year ago, my whole life, I would have been like, no doubt I'm having children. Like, no question I'm having children. And I don't feel that way anymore. And it's a little surprising, but not sad. If anything, almost freeing, because I think I was really just operating from that place of a. It's just a. What you do? Like, oh, yeah, like, I'm gonna have shoulder.

[Lauren]

Like, duh. Like, I have to, like.

[Matt]

But, like, when I, like, really think about it, I'm, like, loving this time period of, like, feeling like I am the main focus in my life. Like, truly just me. And, like, what do I want and what makes me happy? And, like, everything is revolving, like, around you, me. And, like, I get to be selfish. And, like, my entire life, like, I, from, like, seventh grade was, like, put in positions that were, like. Like, pretty crazy of, like, taking care of my family emotionally, financially, until, like, not too, too long ago. And, like, I'm like, it's my time.

[Lauren]

Yes.

[Matt]

And it's like, my turn.

[Lauren]

Yes.

[Matt]

And, like, if a child fits into that at some point, like, that's great and beautiful and, like, I know I'd Be a great mother. I might have a kid at 40.

[Alex Cooper]

Yes.

[Matt]

I might not have a kid.

[Lauren]

And that's.

[Matt]

And it's like, it was, like, pretty, like, wild to say that out loud because, like, I just wouldn't have thought it. Thought it.

[Lauren]

And yet here you are. And I feel like, again, had you gone down that path with that ex boyfriend, you wouldn't have probably even had a chance to recognize that because of just this timeline.

[Matt]

That's what you and Matt. Me. You and Matt were talking about. When you're in something that you're unsure, you. Or maybe it was me and you. You and Matt, you chase the next milestone because that, like, puts like a.

[Lauren]

It gives you something to look forward.

[Matt]

To and focus on to distract from.

[Lauren]

The problems in the relationships. Like, yeah, but we're gonna get engaged, and then everything's gonna get better and we're gonna get married, and let's focus on the wedding.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

So. And then all the wedding.

[Matt]

Let's start planning for the kid.

[Lauren]

And then once you got the kid, we're like, oh, we're gonna. And then it's all these distractions and you. These milestones and everything's good for a little bit. And then once you hit that. That there's a come down, and then you're like, well, what the is next? And you. You've seen those. Those relationships with people. I think it's so beautiful when you said this to me the other day, and I was, like, emotional for you because I feel like we have so many things that we're just taught from a young age as women, and no one really tells us, but by the way, you can do it completely different. You don't have to do that. We don't have to do what our moms did. And I feel like, like, this is such a beautiful place in your life that you're in, like, you're really, really in control right now and in tune with what you want. And thank God you listened to yourself when you were in something that would have been easy to move forward with but difficult in the long run. It's like the short term reward, really. You have to think about the long term. And now the fact that you're able to realize all these things about yourself, I'm just so happy for you. And I really hope people listening can find their version of what you and I are both going through right now, because I think we're both at a period where we're really having to look at ourselves. And as women, we don't feel comfortable.

[Matt]

Kind of, like, silencing, like, the noise being, like, in this moment, like, what do I want?

[Lauren]

And if you don't know that's your first step, that you need to spend some more alone time with yourself. If you're in a relationship, that still means you should be spending alone time and checking in with yourself. But you guys, Lauren and I, this summer, are aligned. We are. I'm on my. I'm doing a huge fucking victory lap and enjoying my fucking time being a newlywed. And Lauren is fucking single and she's going to have a good summer.

[Matt]

And so I'm just celebrating myself.

[Lauren]

Yes. And so the two of us, I feel like it's this beautiful. Gonna be a great fucking summer of us just, like, going.

[Matt]

A lot of fun plans, you guys.

[Lauren]

We have so many fun plans that I. I don't want to fully tell you about because it will be fun to roll, like, roll out our social calendar for you guys. But also, more importantly, I think Lauren and I will need to come back on this couch soon because there's a couple things that maybe you'll find out soon.

[Matt]

Announcements.

[Lauren]

Yeah. That you and I haven't really ever, ever, ever talked about that I think will definitely catch people by surprise. Yeah, I think the Daddy Gang is going to be, like, shocked, but also.

[Matt]

Like, oh, it all makes sense now.

[Lauren]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's all. All good things are coming this summer. But thank you for sharing all this and because I do really think, like, so much of what you are going through right now and always is, like, so relatable. And I feel like a lot of people really appreciate whenever you come and sit down. So thank you, Lauren. This week was. This was a wholesome ass episode.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Lauren]

Daddy Gang, we love you. Thank you so much for tuning in and I will see you next Wednesday. Goodbye.

[Alex Cooper]

Hi, Daddy Gang, it is your father. I am so excited that Caller Daddy has officially joined the Sirius XM family. I cannot wait to talk to new guests and continue to share my crazy personal stories and experiences with you every single week. If you want to hear new episodes ad free, subscribe to SirusXM podcasts on Apple Podcasts to start your free trial today.