Kate Hudson: A Year Without Men (FBF)

Summary

Podcast Summary: Call Her Daddy - Episode with Kate Hudson: "A Year Without Men (FBF)"

Introduction In this episode of Call Her Daddy titled "Kate Hudson: A Year Without Men (FBF)," host Alex Cooper engages in an insightful and candid conversation with actress and entrepreneur Kate Hudson. Released on May 23, 2025, the episode delves deep into Kate's personal journey, her experiences with relationships, mental health, and her foray into the music industry. The dialogue is enriched with humor, honesty, and valuable life lessons, making it both engaging and relatable for listeners.

Personal Life and Relationships Kate Hudson opens up about her first marriage and the subsequent lessons learned from that pivotal relationship. She discusses how marrying young at 21 provided her with stability during the chaotic rise of her acting career. Despite the whirlwind nature of her early marriage—engaged within four months and married by nine months—Kate reflects on the deep connection and grounding it offered her during a formative period.

Kate Hudson [20:26]: "There wasn't an ounce of me that wasn't like, I didn't question it for a second. We were, we were so connected and, and, and Chris taught me so much about love and connection."

However, the marriage eventually faced challenges, leading to a downward spiral. Kate emphasizes the importance of accountability in relationships, advocating for mutual responsibility rather than placing blame solely on one partner.

Kate Hudson [22:08]: "The biggest thing about relationships and, you know, when they end is, is like, how you're being accountable. And I think most people hold on to all the... when they're not taking accountability for their own thing."

Overcoming Fear to Share Music Transitioning from her acting career, Kate reveals her long-held passion for music. She candidly discusses the fears and societal expectations that initially held her back from pursuing her musical talents. Despite being labeled as an Aries—typically associated with fearlessness—Kate shares her internal struggles with vulnerability and the pressure to remain in a singular career lane.

Kate Hudson [06:27]: "I think it was terrifying, which is why I didn't do it. And I'm an Aries. Like I'm supposed to be fearless. And I was like, why am I so terrified to share my writing, really?"

Ultimately, Kate decides to embrace her passion, believing that withholding her music would lead to regret. This decision marks a significant step in her personal growth and artistic expression.

High School Experiences and Social Dynamics Kate reflects on her high school years, describing herself as the "mom of the bunch" who preferred responsibilities over the typical party scene. Despite being perceived as the designated driver and being more focused on her theatrical ambitions, she admits to being "boy crazy" yet simultaneously prude.

Kate Hudson [12:08]: "Totally boy crazy. Oh, yeah. I'm still boy crazy."

She shares experiences of being misunderstood by peers who mistook her reluctance to participate in typical teenage antics as aloofness or judgment, highlighting the challenges of fitting in when one's interests diverge from the norm.

Mental Health Journey A significant portion of the conversation centers around Kate's dedication to mental health. She openly discusses taking a year off from relationships based on her therapist's advice to break destructive patterns and focus on self-growth.

Kate Hudson [53:59]: "I had a great therapist who was like, I'm. I can help you, but you have to like do it right."

This period of solitude allowed her to gain clarity, leading to a breakthrough emotional moment that reinforced her ability to love herself and seek healthy relationships. Kate emphasizes the empowerment that comes from understanding and prioritizing one's mental well-being.

Independence in Relationships Kate elaborates on the concept of independence within relationships, asserting that true independence stems from effective communication and mutual respect. She describes her relationship with Danny as one where both partners support each other's individual pursuits without constraints.

Kate Hudson [62:12]: "Independence is like what works for you. Like what might work for me doesn't work for him. So in order for me to feel independent, I think you have to communicate what that is."

This philosophy allows her to maintain personal freedom while nurturing a loving and supportive partnership, highlighting the balance between togetherness and individuality.

Current Relationship and Marriage Advice Discussing her current relationship with Danny, Kate praises his unwavering support and understanding. Their long-term friendship, spanning 15 years before becoming a romantic relationship, forms a strong foundation for their marriage.

Kate Hudson [60:19]: "Danny, like, he's just. He's just such a good man. And I. I'm not so sure I was, like, attracted to the good man. I mean, I was attracted to good men."

Kate advises listeners to remain open-minded in their search for love, encouraging them to let go of rigid expectations and embrace the unique qualities that each individual brings to a relationship.

Music Album Discussion Kate shares insights into her latest music album, which encapsulates her experiences with love, heartbreak, and personal growth. She collaborated with renowned songwriter Linda Perry, reworking some of her earlier compositions to align with her current emotional state.

Kate Hudson [65:00]: "We just started fresh. There was no, like. There's two songs on there that. That I wrote before I started writing with Linda, and then after we got out of the studio..."

She underscores the importance of authenticity in her songwriting, ensuring that her music genuinely reflects her journey and resonates with her audience.

Final Thoughts and Advice As the episode concludes, Kate offers heartfelt advice to women navigating the complexities of relationships and self-discovery. She emphasizes the significance of self-love, accountability, and maintaining one's independence to cultivate healthy and fulfilling partnerships.

Kate Hudson [67:41]: "I strongly believe that there's a lot of different people in your life that you could have. The options are endless."

Her positive outlook encourages listeners to embrace their individuality, remain open to love's unpredictability, and prioritize their mental and emotional well-being.

Conclusion This episode of Call Her Daddy serves as a profound exploration of Kate Hudson's multifaceted life—from her early experiences in the entertainment industry and personal relationships to her commitment to mental health and artistic expression. Through honest dialogue and relatable anecdotes, Kate imparts valuable lessons on love, independence, and self-growth, offering inspiration to listeners navigating their own life journeys.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• Kate Hudson [20:26]: "There wasn't an ounce of me that wasn't like, I didn't question it for a second."
• Kate Hudson [22:08]: "The biggest thing about relationships... how you're being accountable."
• Kate Hudson [06:27]: "I was so terrified to share my writing, really."
• Kate Hudson [12:08]: "Totally boy crazy. Oh, yeah. I'm still boy crazy."
• Kate Hudson [53:59]: "I had a great therapist who was like, I'm. I can help you, but you have to like do it right."
• Kate Hudson [62:12]: "Independence is like what works for you."
• Kate Hudson [65:00]: "We just started fresh. There was no, like."
• Kate Hudson [67:41]: "I strongly believe that there's a lot of different people in your life that you could have. The options are endless."

These quotes encapsulate key moments in the conversation, highlighting Kate's reflections on relationships, personal growth, and her journey toward self-discovery.

Transcript

[Alex Cooper]

Hi, Daddy gang, it is your father. I am so excited that CallerDaddy has officially joined the SiriusXM family. I cannot wait to talk to new guests and continue to share my crazy personal stories and experiences with you every single week. If you want to hear new episodes ad free, subscribe to Sirius XM podcasts on Apple Podcasts to start your free trial today. Haagen Dazs is made to be savored and enjoyed slowly introducing new Haagen Dazs Belgian Waffle Cones, a completely new experience that's worth slowing down for. Available in four delicious flavors, including my favorite, toasted almond fudge. It's a crispy Belgian waffle cone full of luxurious vanilla ice cream, topped with toasted almonds and milk chocolate curls and finished with fudge sauce at the bottom. Daddy gang, I love, love, love a good vanilla chocolate almond. So get yourself some ice cream. New Haagen Dazs Belgian Waffle Cones, available at retailers nationwide. Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Nordstrom Rack. Great deals, great prices. Everyone's got a reason to rack. And now amazing deals for every day of summer are at Nordstrom Rack stores and they're up to 60% off. Yes, you heard that right, Daddy Gang. Did you know Nordstrom Rack has Adidas and Nike and Vince, seriously, they have so good brands. I feel like I always go with my mom and I'm like, oh, my God, look at all the good stuff. You can always find something amazing. But don't wait. The best deals go fast. Save big on Marc Jacobs made well, Steve Madden and more. Plus, buy it online and pick it up in store the same day for free. Great brands, great prices. That's why you rock. What is up, Daddy gang? It is your founding father, Alex Cooper with Call Her Daddy.

[Kate Hudson]

Hi.

[Unknown]

Hi. Kate Hudson.

[Kate Hudson]

Excuse me if I have, like, these, like, disgusting cough episodes.

[Unknown]

Oh, are you sick?

[Kate Hudson]

I am. No, I am. I have that lingering, like, three week.

[Unknown]

Huh? You come here to get me sick.

[Kate Hudson]

If you get sick? It wasn't me.

[Unknown]

No, it was you.

[Kate Hudson]

I am not.

[Unknown]

You came in here to like this? I'm gonna get her really sick and leave and give her no tea. No, it's gonna be great.

[Alex Cooper]

Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Airbnb. Okay, so I have a trip booked currently, and we got an Airbnb in the desert. I'm so excited. It is this gorgeous, gorgeous, lavish house that I really wanted to be with my friends. My childhood friends are coming into town and I didn't want to do a hotel because I was Like, I want to be super close with my girls. I want everyone sleeping in the same space, but also having our own room so we have privacy and we're all together. And that is where Airbnb is just the best. And Airbnb is the best way to make your trip one to remember, because you get to explore not only a new city, but a new space in that city. Staying like a local helps you feel immersed wherever you are, as opposed to feeling like a tourist. Grab groceries at the local market. Explore the neighborhood bars and restaurants. If you just want to go somewhere, but you don't know really where yet, let Airbnb make the decision for you. Guest favorites might inspire you and perhaps even create a new tradition. And if you have goals for the new year, but you're worried about how to maintain them when you're traveling, Airbnb makes it easy. With plenty of privacy and kitchen space, you can still make health and wellness a priority while you're away from your home. Home Daddy Gang, we know traveling can be sometimes, like, overwhelming. You're like, oh my gosh, there's going to be so much going. Let Airbnb make you feel cozy wherever you go as you book your 2025 travel. My number one tip is to check out Airbnb first to find the perfect place to stay, because your accommodation can really make or break the trip. Whatever your travel priorities are, they can be taken care of with an Airbnb. You want a big kitchen, you want a gym, Maybe you want to bring your dog. Shout out Henry and Bruce. Airbnb is my favorite way to travel. Hand down. There are so many reasons I love Airbnb. Stay tuned to hear more about my upcoming trips this year. Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Shopify. What if your work was more than just a paycheck? As an entrepreneur, you can turn your passions into profits and do something you truly love every single day. The tools are at your fingertips with Shopify, making it easy for you to focus on the big picture and fuel your passions. Daddy Gang, it's. It may not seem obvious at the time, but there are a lot of ways that you can turn your passion into something bigger than you ever set out to achieve. Okay, some of you may be at work right now and you may be miserable at your job, or you may like your job, but you're trying to figure out what is your next step? What is your passion? What do you want to do for.

[Unknown]

The rest of your life?

[Alex Cooper]

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[Unknown]

Okay, so you're kind of like in an entire new phase of your life right now with this new venture of music. Congratulations.

[Kate Hudson]

I know. Well, only in public, right? You know what I mean? Like, so. I mean, music's been in my life, my whole life.

[Unknown]

Okay.

[Kate Hudson]

Whether it was me or whether it was with like my exes partners. But yeah, no, I finally was like, you know what, if I don't share it, I'll just regret it.

[Unknown]

And that's what I think is interesting. When you think of like Kate Hudson, everyone's like, actress. Is it terrifying to come out with music or are you like excited? Are you nervous?

[Kate Hudson]

I think it was terrifying, which is why I didn't do it. And I'm an Aries. Like I'm supposed to be fearless. And I was like, why am I so terrified to share my writing, really? You know, And I, I think, I think it's because when I grew up and, and, and sort of was young and became well known and you know, I got, I got famous young. So I was 20 years old. And at that time, like, you don't switch careers. There's no, like, there was no, oh, you're going to be a movie star and then you're going to be. And then you can be a rock star. It's like, no, stay in one lane. Everyone tells you to stay in one lane. Don't break what's not broken. So I kind of had this thing was like the one thing I loved the most was gonna take a. Was just gonna take a back seat. And so my dream was like, okay, well I can do musicals. And then maybe that's how I incorporate music into my life. And then I, you Know, it just. Time gets away from you and, you know, kids and things, and Covid happened, and I'm like, I'm sitting on hundreds and hundreds of songs that I've never, like, I'm so scared to put that out, but. But why?

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Kate Hudson]

And so I had to kind of tackle that, and then I was just like, fudge it. If I don't do it, then I will be on my deathbed, and it will be a great regret of mine, so.

[Unknown]

Well, I think it's incredible you're doing it also, because you have a really good voice.

[Kate Hudson]

Oh, thanks.

[Unknown]

Like, no, but I think sometimes, like, to be honest, I think people are always like, oh, God, another fucking actress is going to now try to do a singing career or vice versa. Like this. Yeah. The singer goes to try to act. I'm listening to it. I'm like, oh, you have a great voice.

[Kate Hudson]

It's funny because I'm not like, I don't. I don't. That's been. Part of my hesitation is I don't see my. The instrument as, like, a technician. I think there's certain technicians of the instrument that are brilliant, and you listen to them and you're like, whoa, they can do runs for days and they can hit certain notes and things. Like, I never saw myself as a technician of the instrument. So, like, when I'm writing music, I write. I write for my voice or I write what I'm feeling. So that always for me was like, you know, if I hit that note, then. Then what does that mean? You know? And so I kind of also had.

[Unknown]

To just let it go.

[Kate Hudson]

Let that go. And.

[Unknown]

Well, I also think what you were saying is your lyrics, like, as I was, like, going through your music, I'm like, oh, so much of your lyrics are about love and your relationships and heartbreak and moving on and knowing when to move on. And like, Romeo, I feel like, is like a great summer bop. I like.

Yeah.

[Kate Hudson]

I love. Oh, my God. I love.

[Unknown]

I think it's a. I think it's.

[Kate Hudson]

A vibe, Romeo, so much. It's a good vibe, Romeo. It makes me happy. That song just is like. I just want to, like, put it on in the car in the summer. Yes. I love that. That's the one you mentioned.

[Unknown]

Then I also love that you go to the complete opposite side and it's like, loving Easy. And I'm like, you're just, like, flexing your vocals. I'm like, holy. It's like a beautiful, I guess, ballad or, like, and it's gorgeous. But so much of Listening to it, I felt like I got to know you a little bit more. And I want to talk a little bit about that today because I'm like, okay. Oh, when you were growing up, how was sex and dating discussed in your household?

[Kate Hudson]

In our house?

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Kate Hudson]

Oh. I mean, I have very open, you know, progressive parents. Ish. Progressive. Ish parents. Those were things that were always very open.

[Unknown]

Okay.

[Kate Hudson]

And I think part of why we were never super rebellious was because there was no mystery around those things. So, you know, even. Even, like, partying, like, my parents love to have a good time, and we grew up seeing them enjoy their life, laugh with friends, be, you know, talk about naughty things, sometimes overhear things that we're like, hm, what are they talking about? But this mystery of, like, connection and, and why we connect with people was never something that was, like, hidden that we didn't talk about, you know, I.

[Unknown]

Think that's a good point because I feel like not to on the kids that parents were so strict, but I had a similar upbringing where, like, my parents were, like, very open about things. So I was never like, I want to go experiment and do all this behind their back because you. You're making me stay home. I felt like I was lucky to have that. But I can see a lot of kids where you can go the opposite way, because if your parent tells you not to do something, you naturally want to do it sometimes.

[Kate Hudson]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

So if you have people that are talking openly about, especially, I think, for women about, like, not actual sex, like, your mom's not like, Kate, let me tell you about this. But when you're. Well, did she.

[Kate Hudson]

No. I mean, not when I was young.

[Unknown]

What were you like with guys growing up? Like, were you confident?

[Kate Hudson]

Totally boy crazy.

[Unknown]

Really?

[Kate Hudson]

Oh, yeah. I'm still boy crazy. You are? Yeah. Yeah. Boys are fun. I have a good boy right now. I have a really awesome boy. But, I mean, I, I, you know, I'm doing this show right now where I play the president of a basketball team, so I'm basically surrounded by men all day.

[Unknown]

And you're just.

[Kate Hudson]

I went home to Danny. I was like, honey, I'm having the time of my life. I love you. And. And I. And I am very committed, but, oh, I feel so lucky. It's like, I was born for this job, but I was very boy crazy.

[Unknown]

Okay?

[Kate Hudson]

And. But I was also very prude. Like, oh, really? Like, like, love to have fun, love to be flirty, super prude.

[Unknown]

Really?

[Kate Hudson]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

What was your personality in high school?

[Kate Hudson]

I didn't want to be there why? Because I was, like, ready to, like, I was, like, ready to have my own apartment somewhere in the world. Like, I was, like, in ninth grade, like, ugh, just someone give me, like, a martini and a cigarette and, like, some book on a balcony in Paris. Like, I don't know. I can see it a little bit in my daughter. It's just like, I wasn't into the high school party scene. I wanted to be in theater. I wanted to be singing. I wanted to be, like, traveling the world. I was, like, ready got it. To me, high school felt like it was holding me back.

[Alex Cooper]

I get that.

[Kate Hudson]

You know, And I was like, oh, you're just. You're just holding me back. You know? Now I look back at high school and I feel like it was, like, one of the great experiences of my life.

[Unknown]

Right, Right.

[Kate Hudson]

But I was definitely, like, the mom of the bunch, you know?

[Unknown]

Okay.

[Kate Hudson]

Yeah. Like, when all my friends were partying, like, I was designated driver, like, I would take care of everybody.

[Unknown]

I didn't expect that.

[Kate Hudson]

Yeah, total. Everybody thinks I'm a total party. I was the opposite. Yeah.

[Unknown]

So you're always dding still to this day.

[Kate Hudson]

Always. Well, I mean, you know, not now, but, like, back then, I was very straight.

[Unknown]

Were you bullied at all? Like, were you October. Really?

[Kate Hudson]

Totally. Yeah. Because, look, when you're young, if you're confident in something, it's hard. Like, people don't really like it.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Kate Hudson]

You know, so, like, I remember I was like, I knew exactly what I wanted to do. I was very focused. I wanted to be in theater. I wanted to be, like, working and doing things. And there's a lot of girls who just rolled their eyes at that.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Kate Hudson]

And so, yeah, I wouldn't say bullied, but there was a lot of gossipy, like, yeah. Talk behind back type stuff that makes.

[Unknown]

Sense where girls are just like, she's annoying. And then you're like, what? Because I know what I want to do.

[Kate Hudson]

And, like, you know, I guess, like, because I wasn't. I think girls who don't, you know, I can sometimes get that too. It's like, oh, you're too good to, like, get drunk with us. And it's like, no, I actually just don't want to, like, do a kickstand, like, on with you right now. Like, I don't want to get wasted, but I'm happy to, like, hold your hair when you're throwing up. I don't. So I was like, that girl. And it would, I think, sometimes bother girls.

[Unknown]

I get that.

[Kate Hudson]

But it didn't Bother me, Right?

[Unknown]

You're not judging them for doing the keg stand.

[Kate Hudson]

No.

[Unknown]

You've, like, got the hair tie ready.

[Kate Hudson]

Yeah. And I just didn't. I just want to do. It wasn't. I wasn't like that.

[Unknown]

But I think when you're at a place in your life where you're like, don't feel like you're in the same position as people, like, mentality wise, it's hard to fit in anywhere. Like if you're like ready to move on and everyone's like, we're loving this. Like, we're going to the tailgate tonight. And you're like, stab me.

[Kate Hudson]

Yeah, I think, I think these, like, so young, like, social media structure, clicky, like Lord of the Flies type, like, things that happen are actually really important. How you deal with them at school and then how you deal with them at home, with your family and like, how they're supported.

[Alex Cooper]

Yeah.

[Kate Hudson]

I think are so important. Like, I feel like it's good to kind of have a little bit of friction when you're growing up and people saying mean things. Sometimes it's like, oh, you know, you kind of need a little bit of that to like, power through it and to realize, like, in, in. In retrospect, to be able to reflect, look back and go, wow, like, I'm so happy that that wasn't who I am and that I had a little bit of that scarring.

[Unknown]

It's a good point.

[Kate Hudson]

Get me. Get. Get you through certain things. Because it doesn't get better.

[Unknown]

No, it does kind of.

[Kate Hudson]

The world is a. I mean, human nature is quite brutal. So. So, like, how do we, you know when those small communities, like, you're going to have friction.

[Unknown]

Right.

[Kate Hudson]

In high school.

[Alex Cooper]

Right.

[Kate Hudson]

What was your friction?

[Alex Cooper]

Mine was.

[Unknown]

I definitely, like, I had a similar experience where, like, I was ready to get out. Like, I knew I wanted to do all of this. Like, I was like the video production nerd, but I at the same time the jock. So, like, I hid from everyone that I liked video production and I would, like, lie to everyone. They're like, why are you doing that for your elective every year? I'm like, I don't know. They said, like, I'm good. It's so annoying. But whatever, it's easy. Like, I would lie because I was embarrassed because everyone would make fun of me for, like, liking that.

[Kate Hudson]

Right.

[Unknown]

And I was the jock. So they're like, you're the soccer girl. Like, you can't be both. And kind of what we talked about the beginning of this episode it's like you can never be both. And I think especially for women, it's like, you definitely can't be both. That can't be possible.

[Alex Cooper]

And I was insecure.

[Unknown]

Like, I was super awkward and gawky. Aren't we all? And like, it wasn't great. But I do look back and in the moment I was like, fudge my fucking life. I need to get to college. Then when I got to college, I was like, I'm ready to go to New York City. Get me the fuck out of here. Like, I feel like at every stage of my life, in those, like, scholastic moments, I was like, I'm ready to leave. I'm not meant to be here. But then I look back and I'm like, I learned so much about myself.

[Kate Hudson]

I know. And then you kind of look back too, and you're like, oh. And then you had these girls. Great, like, big, fun, awesome moments.

[Unknown]

Yes.

[Kate Hudson]

Sometimes I look. There's certain people too that were just like, always wonderful. Like, you know, you. You kind of this girl Hillary and Jessica. And like, I look at these girls. Oh, my God, they were. I wonder what they're doing now. Like, they. They must be like the greatest mother of all time because they were so, like, even and they had kind everybody and like, helping you organize your own thoughts. Like, did you get your homework done? Like, oh, yeah. Oh, I. You know, there's so. It's like, I don't know. You look back at that little mic like it's like a microcosm, right? What? You know, the sort of.

[Unknown]

No, you're right. It's like sometimes I think we have a hard time pinpointing, like, the positives in situations. Like, I found an old laptop from college and I had some like, up happen to me in college. And I looked back at like this really specific time in my life as like, negative. And I remember opening my laptop and like almost getting so emotional because I'm like, I have the best time. Like, I fudgeing love these girls and I love these people and I love. So like, when there's something negative that happens, it's hard to remember all the positive. But most.

[Kate Hudson]

Well, our brain does sort of lean.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Kate Hudson]

You know, more to the. Unfortunately, to the negative.

[Unknown]

Yeah, true. You know, Tell me about your first love.

[Kate Hudson]

My first love? Yeah, my first. I mean, my first real love was my ex husband. You know, I was young. I met him when I was. Actually met him when I was. Was 18.

[Unknown]

Okay.

[Kate Hudson]

19. 19. And he was just a, like, you know, not a very nice rock Star type. Like, I remember thinking, God, he was so mean. And then I met him again at 20, and he wasn't. I mean, I must have caught him on a bad, A bad night or something. And. Yeah, I mean, first real love of my life.

[Unknown]

How soon did you date to then get married?

[Kate Hudson]

Oh, gosh, it was a whirlwind. It was. We were engaged in four months and married at nine months. And then, you know, and then, like, three years. Then I wanted to have a baby, and we had Ryder.

[Unknown]

And then.

[Kate Hudson]

And then it kind of started to do that downward spiral.

[Unknown]

Right. The classic. The classic. We all know it. How did you know you were ready for marriage at 21?

[Kate Hudson]

There wasn't an ounce of me that wasn't like, I didn't question it for a second.

[Unknown]

Really.

[Kate Hudson]

Yeah, we were, we were so connected and, and, and Chris taught me so much about love and connection and, you know, it was just a wonderfully passionate relationship.

[Unknown]

Did anyone around you be like, kate, please don't get married right now?

[Kate Hudson]

No, like, my, the people I live in let people make mistakes, you know?

[Unknown]

Okay, so your mom didn't care.

[Kate Hudson]

She's like, yeah. And by the way, not a mistake. I look back at my entire, you know, life at this point, and I'm like, I actually feel like I might have gotten it right, you know, like love. There's this sort of construct that, that we're supposed to do it a certain way, which I understand, because I really believe in the unit, and I think it's what's missing right now. But I, I, I do believe that a unit can exist differently than this sort of, like, very kind of religious concept of, like, marriage and male, female relationship. Like, I really believe that a unit can be. Even if someone is alone in their life and hasn't met the love of their life, that they could have a best friend, that they live close together and they have, they can raise their children together and, like, have values inside of that that can be really important for children. So, like, you know, for me, having the means and the ability to choose to be more healthy in relationships means that it's easy. It's kind of been easier for me to exit unhealthy relationships.

[Unknown]

Interesting, right?

[Kate Hudson]

So whereas if I probably didn't have the means, it would be a much more challenging thing. But inside of that, that just because you're not supposed to be with someone doesn't mean that you can't create a big, beautiful experience.

[Unknown]

Totally.

[Kate Hudson]

I don't know how I've been able to do it, but it's like, we just do it, all of us.

[Alex Cooper]

What would you say?

[Unknown]

Because, like, I think you're right. And I love how you describe that. I think so many people can be judgmental if you don't follow, like, the traditional route. Like, it's like 21 is too young, but then, like, 30 is too old. It's like, you can't win as a woman. What do you. What was, like, the best and then the hardest parts of, like, being married in your early 20s, I just, like.

[Kate Hudson]

Jump in the deep end of everything. So it's sort of like, I mean, the best thing was that I, in a time that could have been probably not very grounded. I've always sought home. I've always sought. I, I like my cozy. You know, I'm a homebody, and I've always wanted a big family. I've always wanted to work hard and have a big, fun, crazy life. But, like, you know, I am a, I am a. I like to be home. And so even when I was young, I longed for that.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Kate Hudson]

Family connect, family connection. I grew up like that, so. And so when I met Chris, it's like when my career was taking off, it was also a time that, you know, could have been a whirlwind, and instead I was in this very grounding, loving relationship.

[Unknown]

Right. Like, you had that stability, even though, like, externally it looked all chaos because your life is like, you're thriving. You're a movie star. You get to go home to this guy, and you're like, this is.

[Kate Hudson]

Yeah, we just. But I prefer, like, a cozy, great vibe. Vibe? Yeah.

[Unknown]

Like, I think something I was reading about you that I think is really relatable is, like, you talk about how when your marriage ended, you still had, like, so much love for this person. And I'm wondering if you have any advice for women listening of, like, maybe someone just went through a breakup and they're still so in love with their ex, but they know they need to move on. Like, how the do you do that?

[Kate Hudson]

Let's be very clear. Like, if I didn't have children, I probably would never speak to them.

[Unknown]

Stop.

[Kate Hudson]

I'm kidding. No. You know, the thing is, like, I, I, I don't know if it has something. It's just, I guess it's just a, it's an attachment thing. I guess it's like how we attach to pain or why something isn't working or what the expectation is of what you wanted from the relationship, and then that expectation letting you down. And then people suffer because they've Sort of put such an expectation on what something's supposed to look like versus my choice through life is just like, opening, being more open and like. And that doesn't mean that it's without pain and sadness and working through stuff and reflecting and taking accountability. But, like, and I'll come back to the accountability part because I think that's the most important thing. But the end of the day, you know, you, I believe you love, you know, someone. If you love them once, you really love them in some way forever. Even if you can't stand them there. You, if you really did, if you really loved them, if it was pure, it wasn't like, coming from some place unhealthy, you'll love them through anything. You know, maybe not romantically, but that will always, always be there. And I, and I do believe that, like, it shifts, just like friendships shift. You know, my best friendships have gone through times where we are, like, don't talk 40 times a day, to not seeing each other for a year. But there's a, but there's always that kind of foundation. I, I believe that with great loves of your life, and I, I will always, even in the mo. In the hardest times, be able to see the people that I've been with and that I've shared intimacy with, like, in a loving way. I also, I also believe that that's a choice. Like, I choose to do that. You know, I, I, I do that because I think it's more peaceful for me, which makes it more peaceful for my children. But I think that the, the biggest thing about relationships and, you know, when they, when they, when they end is, Is like, how you're being accountable. And I think most people hold on to all the, when they're not taking accountability for their own, own thing. You know, it's like, it doesn't matter. There's, it's always, there's always two people in the relationship, so you can't just point a finger out. That's. You always have to look back and, you know, the old one finger and three pointed back at you.

[Alex Cooper]

Right.

[Unknown]

It's a great point. I love everything you just said, because I think I had a conversation. I think it was with Camila Cabello, and she was like, yeah, like, it's tough. Like, where does the love go? Like, when you break up with someone that you loved so much, it's a strange thing to know. Like, they're alive and they're out there.

[Kate Hudson]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

And I'm here.

[Kate Hudson]

And that's why that Gautier song was so Huge. It was so like, it hit a nerve for everybody.

[Unknown]

Yes.

[Kate Hudson]

Somebody that I used to add, why didn't I write that? You know? But like, yeah, I mean, it's, it's tough. But what did she. Is that. That was.

[Unknown]

No, she basically just said like, it hurts, but it's like, you know, it's not supposed to be anymore. It was. We change constantly as people. Like, I'm the same person but a different version of myself. When I was 21, oh my God. I was madly in love. I'm not in love with him anymore. But I still. Yes, I think you're right. I choose to know that I still have love for all these people that I loved. I think when it ends really badly, if someone like, did you dirty and cheated on you and you find out and you're like, oh my God, I think you never respected me.

[Alex Cooper]

That can hurt.

[Unknown]

But again, it's like, how did it get to that point? I. You can always look back at yourself and be like, could I have done this or could I have done that? And sometimes they're just a piece of. And you're like, yeah, you couldn't have done any better.

[Kate Hudson]

I had a friend, I who said something really, really great, which is like, you know, when you're in something and you're going through a wave, you know, he was also talking about it kind of like a DNA strand. Like, you know, people say it's like a roller coaster, but it's more like when you're with someone for a long time, it's like it, it's like it circulates, you know, it moves. And I thought that was a very, kind of a beautiful image for a long term intimate relationship. And as it's shifting when you start to feel yourself off balance, like, it's much easier for us to go out to externalize it and go, I'm not getting this, or I'm not receiving that. I'm. This is what that would look like over here. And what if I had this over there? And, and, and, and what I believe happens as you get older or healthier, maybe not an age thing, but like, is when you inter. You go internal. That issue or that wave or that cycle, it starts to move differently. Yeah, you're not seeking anything externally, you're only really looking at it internally, which can only in turn really make the relationship more intimate. Yeah. And honestly, more, you know, I would say connect connective, because you're not seeking it from somewhere else. And then if you get to that place where you're like, I don't know if I can do this anymore. It's not coming from anything you need from the outside world.

[Unknown]

I think that the concept of accountability in relationships is, like, not talked about enough. And I love that you brought up because it also gives you so much more autonomy over your own life when you actually take accountability as opposed to being like, he did this to me. And he's like, no, no one can do anything to you other than like.

[Kate Hudson]

I mean, unless you're in like a very, very scary.

[Unknown]

Oh, my gosh. Yeah, like abusive.

[Kate Hudson]

Put all of that aside.

[Unknown]

Right? Like, if someone's making you feel a certain way, like, like you have the ability to control your own emotions and your actions and what you're doing and how you're reacting.

[Kate Hudson]

Yeah. And like. And like, look, you know, everybody holds their own wild card. Yeah, right? And like, sometimes that wild card works for some people and it really doesn't for others. And if you're holding two completely different wild cards, it can get really tumultuous and wild. But if you're holding the same wild card, you know, if someone is like, hey, here's the deal. I want an open relationship. I could never be faithful to you. I'd be like, oh, my God, thank you for saying that. I can't be with you.

[Unknown]

Right.

[Kate Hudson]

But like, I have so much respect for your honesty. But if you're like, this person told me he couldn't be faithful to me, but I decided to be with this person anyway. And now we're in this tumultual relationship and I'm miserable. I'd be like, if I was. If I was my own girlfriend, I'd be like, babe, you need. This is.

[Unknown]

That's on you.

[Kate Hudson]

You right than it is about, like.

[Unknown]

He told you he was honest.

[Kate Hudson]

He was honest and you still rode the wave. Yeah. You're holding different wild cards. If you were like, great, then I'm gonna do the same. And then you guys would have a. I mean, you'd be, you know.

[Unknown]

No, it's a great point. It's like sometimes we also, I think people. And it depends on where you're at. I think health wise. It's like I. When I was younger. Oh, blinders on him. Like, he told me this. I'm like, no, he didn't. No, he didn't. He didn't say that to me. I'm like pretending to. I'm like, short term memory. And it was because I wanted what I wanted and I wasn't listening to what was being said directly to my Face, Right? It's like, you're an idiot. Like, he literally told you he's cheated on his last 17 girlfriends. What'd you think was gonna happen, Right?

[Alex Cooper]

I'm gonna change him.

[Unknown]

No, you're not.

[Kate Hudson]

And also, you know, a lot of people, I think, find themselves in relationships where people feel insecure and they want to put people down and. And you take it. And at some point, I think a lot of women I know have been in this situation at some point. You know, you can point your finger out at them, but you can somewhat. You're like, why am I accepting this?

[Alex Cooper]

Right?

[Unknown]

Like, why am I here? Yeah, yeah.

[Kate Hudson]

And. And it kind of feeds that, like, you know, push, pull thing that a lot of people get very, like, toxically into love.

[Unknown]

But, no, I used to love it. I was like, oh, my God, I'm alive. I was like, hey, I'm alive. And now, if I would meet someone at that point in my life, I think when I got to, like, later in my 20s, I was like, I'm exhausted. Like, absolutely. Get the. Away from me if you're, like, playing games. But in my early 20s, like, it kept my heart beating. I was like, this is a thrill. And it was just all because, like, I didn't want stability at that point.

[Kate Hudson]

I didn't. You gotta learn, right? Yeah. You gotta be like, yeah, I have.

[Unknown]

Scenarios for you because you have wisdom. I'm gonna give you a scenario, and I want to know if you would keep seeing the guy or if this would be a deal breaker.

[Alex Cooper]

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[Unknown]

No, no, no.

[Alex Cooper]

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[Unknown]

It's like we your lips taste so.

[Alex Cooper]

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[Unknown]

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[Alex Cooper]

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[Unknown]

I'm going to give you a scenario and I want to know if you would keep seeing the guy or if this would be a deal breaker.

[Kate Hudson]

Okay?

[Unknown]

Okay. You catch him going through your phone and he says it's because he's been. You've been distant.

[Kate Hudson]

How long have I been with him?

[Unknown]

You've been together for eight months.

Months.

[Kate Hudson]

Oh, done. Out. See you later. Weird. So weird.

[Unknown]

What about two years?

[Kate Hudson]

Then maybe I'd be like, okay, what am I doing that's making you feel insecure? And by the way, you can go into my phone anytime. You don't need to look at that. Like, if I'm with someone for two years, I'm not one of those people that's like, why are you looking in my phone? It's like, wait, what's my. Like, here's my phone. I don't. I wouldn't live with secrecy or feel like. Like, I need. You know.

[Unknown]

Yeah. Have you ever caught someone going through your phone?

[Kate Hudson]

Oh, yeah. Emails.

[Unknown]

How did you find out?

[Kate Hudson]

I could tell where there was, like, logins. You know, it was like, stupid. You know, I was like, stupid. Yeah. Which also is like, bye. Like, you gotta be smarter.

[Unknown]

Like, you almost get, like, the ick because you're like, wait. Like, I. It would have been, like, cooler if you were, like, so sly.

[Kate Hudson]

Yeah, but you're. But you're.

[Unknown]

I'm getting a notification.

[Kate Hudson]

Yeah, it's like, what are you doing? No, clearly, someone's on my ear. Yeah.

[Unknown]

On my iPad or my computer, whatever. It's like, on my phone. It's like, ding. Someone just logged into your MacBook.

[Kate Hudson]

Your boyfriend is on your.

[Unknown]

Stop. And did you confront. Did you end it?

[Kate Hudson]

It was already on the way out.

[Unknown]

Okay.

[Kate Hudson]

It was like, it's good to know. Yeah.

[Unknown]

Have you ever gone through a phone?

[Kate Hudson]

Oh, yeah. Are you kidding? Especially with shady guys. Like, full on.

[Unknown]

How do you get in?

[Kate Hudson]

Oh, girls. Any girl who says, I would never is a liar.

[Unknown]

Oh, my God. It's my favorite hobby back in the day.

[Kate Hudson]

I mean, at some point in your life, a girl's been like, no, I'm gonna. No. Yeah, something's up. It's one thing if something's not up, then you should feel it's just a random. Then you're like, okay, you have trust issues. You gotta figure that out.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Kate Hudson]

It's one thing if, like, the guy is being fully shady and not telling you the truth, and you're like, no, I need some concrete great evidence.

[Unknown]

Don't. CIA.

[Kate Hudson]

I'm gonna figure this out. Then you get it, and then. Yeah, I mean, please. Yes. It's a. It's. It was a fabulous game.

[Unknown]

Okay, but when you play the game and you find things, how do you handle it? Because most of the time they're like, oh, it's null and void. You went through my phone? You crazy.

[Kate Hudson]

Yeah. Okay. It doesn't matter. But you're out of my life. Like, so what are we talking about? Yeah, thank God, because now I'm never gonna see you again. Like, that's great. But I'm really like, I. I'm like, you would have to be doing something crazy, really shitty. You know what I mean? Like, oh, no.

[Unknown]

Like, you wouldn't care.

[Kate Hudson]

You're telling me one thing and doing another, and I'm not gonna do that. So I'm gonna find out. And then I also did do the thing too, which was fun. Where you just lie. Yeah. Where you're just like, no, I read it. Right? I. I read it. I read this. Or I know you were here. How do you know that?

[Unknown]

Because I have a friend that's the bartender, and she was there, and she saw you. Oh, it's.

[Kate Hudson]

I've done all of it.

[Unknown]

And that's the best is when you know they've you over, and then you come up with the best. Live all time. And it's like, oh, my God.

[Kate Hudson]

And they're, like, sweating. Oh, God.

[Unknown]

And you're like, you know what's really sad? I used to do this is like, I know everything. And then they'd go like, pale white and be like, so I told you, like, I know everyone in New York. So when you go to the Great White and you're there and you're having drinks with her, like, what do you think I was gonna do? You think I wasn't gonna know? And he's like, his pants. Meanwhile, didn't have any friends at the Great White. Just saw on his phone that he was like, meet me at the Great White. But you make it up, and then you get out of it on skateboard. Breathed.

[Kate Hudson]

But people wonder why women should rule the world because we're incredibly resourceful, period. It's like, guys, no. We're gonna strategize this, and by the end of it, you're gonna be sweating bullets, and I'm gonna leave you.

[Unknown]

So the difference is we get notifications that you're hacking into our computers. We come up with lies. You didn't even know we went into your iPhone.

[Kate Hudson]

I know. Guys are so funny. I, I. I love guys so much because they're just. They're quite. They're very simple. I mean, not that they're not, like, complex and, you know, but, like, this, The. The. The. The foundation of how men work isn't that challenging.

[Alex Cooper]

It's not.

[Kate Hudson]

They're super straightforward.

[Alex Cooper]

True.

[Kate Hudson]

And I think we expect them to be more complicated.

[Unknown]

We give them more credit for sure.

[Kate Hudson]

Than it actually is half the time.

[Unknown]

If they're giving you, like. Like, if you get a weird vibe, the weird vibe is right. Like, they're cheating or they're doing, like.

[Kate Hudson]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

Sometimes women will be like, well, maybe it's because his grandmother was not feeling well. So maybe he's been acting weird.

[Alex Cooper]

No, no, no.

[Unknown]

It's what you think it is. He's cheating or.

[Kate Hudson]

Yeah. Or like if there's like three burner phones, like there's a problem. You know what I mean? It's going to get weird at some point. Like if you see a burner phone in a dopp kit, just run. It's not going to be a good end ending. Right.

[Unknown]

And.

[Kate Hudson]

Which has happened to a couple friends of mine where I'm like, no, if you see this in the. I'm like, oh my God, babe, run. Well, first look on the, on it. Because it's like, I would love to know.

[Unknown]

We need the thrill.

[Kate Hudson]

You gotta know we gotta have something to talk about over dinner.

[Unknown]

Right?

[Kate Hudson]

Or like take it, just steal it. Just like take the phone and then never talk to him again.

[Unknown]

And then you call the number, you meet up with the girl. Girl, you get cocktails, you laugh about it. No, you have to look at it though. You're right, it's comedy. Because men are sometimes. Men are so dense. I also love men. And sometimes men are so simple and they're really just showing you their cards immediately. You're.

[Kate Hudson]

How old are you?

[Unknown]

29.

[Kate Hudson]

Okay, so you're like, see, I'm in the age where everyone's married, okay. And we live vicariously through our late 20s, like, or early 30s. Friends.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Kate Hudson]

Where we're like, oh, let me tell you the story. When I. But now we're all like, you know, like it's like we're in the. Okay, are you, are you, is, is, is your husband gonna go to the four year old's birthday party? Or are the girls going to this birthday. How many birthday parties are there this weekend? What are we doing? Are we just staying home? Like, it's just very normal now. We're in like.

[Unknown]

You're in the normal.

[Kate Hudson]

We're in the. We're in the raising kids phase, which is just like, like soccer games, baseball games, birthday parties.

[Unknown]

There's no, like, there's no burner phones.

[Kate Hudson]

No, no. And that's no.

[Unknown]

Yeah, but sometimes we want a little burner phone.

[Kate Hudson]

It's like someone. Can I have a friend who has someone with a burner phone?

[Unknown]

But sometimes you want a little burner phone action, so. No, I think that's such a good point though. It's like, ladies, stop ignoring the fucking signs. If it's right in front of you, it's probably what it looks like.

[Kate Hudson]

But it's hard. I know. You have friends who are more dramatic than others, and we all have to, like, let each other go through it.

[Unknown]

True.

[Kate Hudson]

I just don't like when people, like, we know when it turns and it's unhealthy that we need to, like, rally around our friends.

[Alex Cooper]

True.

[Kate Hudson]

Like, if something is not right and they're kind of stuck in a really unhealthy.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Kate Hudson]

And it's, like, not funny anymore.

[Unknown]

Yes. When it's not funny anymore.

[Kate Hudson]

Yeah. Then you're like, okay, you know what? What's going on?

[Unknown]

It's almost like when the girl dinners. Because every. All girlfriends talk about each other, and it's not even, like, behind your back. It's like, oh, God, she's with him again. Like, we know he's gonna cheat again, and we love her to death from that. When it gets to, like, I don't even want to hear about it. Like, you've literally exhausted all of us. That's when it gets scary because you're like, now you've alienated yourself and we feel bad as opposed to be like, jessica, what are you doing with him again?

[Kate Hudson]

We can't help you. You know, it's. Or. Or, like, support it.

[Unknown]

That.

[Kate Hudson]

That gets.

[Unknown]

That's hard.

[Kate Hudson]

Hard.

[Unknown]

Yeah, that's hard. Okay. He's really close friends with his ex.

[Kate Hudson]

Oh, interesting. Like, how close is close?

[Unknown]

Like, they get lunch, I would say every month. Every other month. And they.

[Kate Hudson]

Do they have a kid?

[Unknown]

Nope.

[Kate Hudson]

Oh. Problematic for me, personally.

[Unknown]

For me, too.

[Kate Hudson]

If they had a kid, I'd be like, oh, this is family. And we have to, like, bring her all in, you know? And my other thing is, like, if I'm going to have dinner with her, and then you're gonna go have lunch with her, we're good. If we're all besties. Like, my best friend was my ex's ex girlfriend.

[Unknown]

Hold on.

[Kate Hudson]

And when we. Well, it's just. It's not as complicated as it sounds. Basically, I met my best friend through my ex husband.

[Unknown]

Okay.

[Kate Hudson]

Who used to date her.

[Unknown]

Oh, fascinating.

[Kate Hudson]

So when I was married to him, I met her. We became best friends.

[Unknown]

Got it.

[Kate Hudson]

And that was his ex, and that was his ex. But I. But. But we were. We were. Loved each other.

[Unknown]

Right.

[Kate Hudson]

There was no, like, I'm gonna go have dinner with or lunch with my ex girlfriend.

[Unknown]

And you were included.

[Kate Hudson]

Oh, yeah. And she'd rather be with me than hang out with him. So, like, that makes sense to me.

[Unknown]

I agree. I think it does depend sometimes on, like, did you meet the. Like, did you know the ex this Is fucking confusing me. Like, did you know the person before or after? Like, if my best friend became best friends with my ex, I'd be like, why the. Where's the loyalty? Like, you didn't know him before me.

[Alex Cooper]

I think it.

[Unknown]

You know what I mean?

[Kate Hudson]

Okay, wait, wait, wait.

[Unknown]

Okay, here we go.

[Kate Hudson]

You mean if your bestie.

[Unknown]

I'm dating a guy, okay, and my best friend meets him, likes him, we break up, and she stays friends with him. Odd.

[Kate Hudson]

It depends.

[Unknown]

I guess it depends how it ended. How it ended. Did.

[Kate Hudson]

It depends.

[Unknown]

He ruined my life. He cheated on me.

[Kate Hudson]

I mean, it's tough. That's a tough one because I think it would be like, you know, it. It also depends on if you, like, is she kind of into him? Right.

[Unknown]

That's fair.

[Kate Hudson]

You can kind of feel when it's raiser. When it isn't.

[Unknown]

No, I think. I think it's also just about, like, respect, like, communicate with your fucking friends. If you're staying friends with your girl's ex and you guys are, like, in love, well.

[Kate Hudson]

Okay, I'm gonna give you a scenario.

[Unknown]

Okay.

[Kate Hudson]

You're not friends with this girl. You're. You've. You have mutual friend groups.

[Unknown]

Okay.

[Kate Hudson]

Okay. Mutual friend groups. They, you know, run into each other here and there at a party. Oh, hey, nice to see you. Like, oh, good. She breaks up with her boyfriend.

[Unknown]

Okay. I don't know.

[Kate Hudson]

Whenever, six months, year later, you end up up with the boyfriend.

[Unknown]

Boyfriend.

[Kate Hudson]

Does she have a right to be mad at you?

[Unknown]

Okay, you said the only moment I hang out with her is, like, in big friend groups.

[Kate Hudson]

Yeah, she's.

[Unknown]

She's around. Like.

[Kate Hudson]

Like, like, maybe you share a friend.

[Unknown]

We've never gone to a local text.

[Kate Hudson]

You don't.

[Unknown]

Oh, my God. She can't be mad.

[Kate Hudson]

Okay?

[Unknown]

Absolutely not.

[Kate Hudson]

Yeah, well, there's a lot of people who would say otherwise. And I'm like, that's crazy.

[Unknown]

That's networking. How are we supposed to meet anyone?

[Kate Hudson]

I don't know you, right?

[Unknown]

Like, if you can't be mad at me, that's crazy. That's crazy. It's. It's. If it's your best friend, that's it.

[Kate Hudson]

I'm.

[Unknown]

That's it. That's all that matters.

[Kate Hudson]

Yeah, well, if it's like, even. Even a. Like a close friend.

[Unknown]

A close friend, of course.

[Kate Hudson]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

Then you can have a conversation of, like, this is also tough where it's, like, it's awkward if, like.

[Kate Hudson]

But, like, to throw shade to girls that, like, are dating there, but they don't know them. I I think that's. I think that's weird.

[Unknown]

No, you got to move on. And I also think if you don't have their phone number, you owe them literally nothing thing.

[Kate Hudson]

I agree.

[Unknown]

Okay. Okay.

[Kate Hudson]

I like that we're.

[Unknown]

We're moving on. He has an extremely high sex drive and is trying to go every day, twice a day.

[Kate Hudson]

I mean, I'm not mad at it. First of all, twice a. I mean, it'd be one thing if it's like four times a day. You'd be like, this is like, we're exhausted. And like, this is like, kind of weird because, like, what happens when I'm have to like, leave. Leave for a week?

[Unknown]

True.

[Kate Hudson]

Like, is this like.

[Unknown]

Like, is this something you need every day regardless of whether I'm here or not?

[Kate Hudson]

And it also depends on, I mean, his age because it would sort of determine whether or not he was just going through it. Yeah. Or like, if he was young, like, that would make sense. If he's like 40 something. Men's libidos kind of go down at late 20s. 20s.

[Unknown]

Right. So he's like a sex addict.

[Kate Hudson]

So like, if his libido is that high is like, what are you on? Literally, it's like, I always, I always say it's about women, especially as women get older. There's sort of this concept around women that they should become less sexual as they get older. But the reality is, is that women, as we get older are. Our libidos get more intensified to a certain age than men's. So it's sort of like this made up thing.

[Unknown]

Right.

[Kate Hudson]

That women as we get older are supposed to be.

[Unknown]

Right. Like, died out. Like we're not even.

[Kate Hudson]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

We're not sexual.

[Kate Hudson]

Yeah. When it's. It's. It's literally the, the opposite.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Kate Hudson]

So somewhere down the line, men didn't really want women to be very sexy as they got older.

[Unknown]

Right.

[Kate Hudson]

I think so. They kind of made it so, like, oh, no. Like if you're no longer, you know, mating for us.

[Unknown]

Right, right.

[Kate Hudson]

Then you should just go over here.

[Unknown]

So true.

[Kate Hudson]

When in reality it's like women into their 40s sometimes 50s are like very much sexual. Yeah. Foreign.

[Alex Cooper]

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[Unknown]

That your therapist once told you to take a break from men for a year?

[Kate Hudson]

Yeah. Where did you. Where did I say that? Yeah, I took like a full year off.

[Unknown]

You did?

[Kate Hudson]

Was. I was like, what? Wait, I couldn't floor. No. Yeah, none of it. But it was great.

[Unknown]

How old were you when you did this? This?

[Kate Hudson]

30 something. I. I just, I was like at that place where I was like, I don't want to keep repeating any patterns anymore. I have a great therapist who was like, I'm. I can help you, but you have to like do it right.

[Unknown]

You got to like get off the sauce. Kate.

[Kate Hudson]

He's like, get off the sauce. And well, mind me is I always get distracted, you know. Right.

[Unknown]

You like to flirt. You like boys. You said you love boys.

[Kate Hudson]

I just love the. I love the, you know, like, ooh, this is fun. I'm in Texas first. But it was really interesting because it. He took me, like, basically, I was like, okay, well, I guess I'm. I can't even text guys.

[Unknown]

You couldn't flirt. If a guy came up to you, you're like, just not interested.

[Kate Hudson]

Yeah. I mean, I could talk to them, but I, I. I was like, there's no. I couldn't give them my number. So I'd be like, they, like, have your number. I'd be like, you know, no, no. Like, I'm not. No, I'm not. I'm not. Not there right now. But it was strangely empowering because it got very uncomfortable for me in the beginning. Like, the first couple months, I was like, you know, my mojo was like. I was just like, oh, God. I was like, I might. I was like, you know. You know, just felt like I hadn't. I was like, what. What am I doing? Like, what? I, I. I'm not, like, like, not me. Yeah. It just was. It's not fun, you know? And so I was like, well. And then, because we were going through various specific type of therapy, it was really about, like, figuring out certain things that were happening.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Kate Hudson]

And then I had this one sort of breakthrough that was very emotional that I don't think I would have been able to. To access if I had any distraction. So, like, it allowed me to see things much more clearly. And then within six months, I was like, I didn't care about my phone. I didn't care about, like, if I was gonna go out, meet my girlfriends. I wasn't like, that thing where I'm like, oh, I wonder if so and so would be there or. Yeah, like, oh, we should maybe call up so and so and then do that. You know, There was no desire for me to be doing anything that had anything to do with potential, you know, Flirtation.

[Unknown]

Right.

[Kate Hudson]

So then when I was in with, you know, doing that, and I remember my therapist a year later was like, okay, you can. I think you can flirt again. I was like, what? I can flirt. Flirt? He's like, yeah. I was like, what does that mean? How do I flirt? I, like, forgot. And then I remember, like, all these guys would start texting, and I'd be like, I didn't have the same attachment to it anymore. It just. It just went away. It was like, I didn't get that, like, oh, you know. Right. I. I was just like, oh, no, no. It just didn't have the same, like, pull.

[Unknown]

Interesting.

[Kate Hudson]

It sort of became. And then the guys that I would normally have been like, ooh. Was like, nope, That's.

[Alex Cooper]

That's incredibly amazing.

[Unknown]

So you lasted the year.

[Kate Hudson]

Oh, yeah. I'm very disciplined.

[Alex Cooper]

Damn.

[Kate Hudson]

Yeah. Yeah, it was good.

[Unknown]

One year.

[Kate Hudson]

One year. And yeah, it's pretty incredible. I was all longer because I was. I. Then I was so happy single. I was single for, like, three and a half years. Years.

[Unknown]

Being single is incredible. If you're, like, in the right place and, like, you're mentally focused on yourself. You're like, I am great. I don't need anyone. And that's where you want to get to when you're single.

[Kate Hudson]

Like, I love it.

[Unknown]

I have empathy for women that when you get through out of a relationship, you almost have those withdrawal symptoms of like, oh, my God, I'm used to having a partner. I'm used to having them here. Then you get good at being alone. You're like.

[Kate Hudson]

And I don't think if I would have done that. If I would have. If I didn't do that, I would never have ended up with Danny. Know.

[Unknown]

Let's talk about Danny.

[Kate Hudson]

Yeah. Because Danny, like, he's just. He's just such a good man. And I. I'm not so sure I was, like, attracted to the good man. I mean, I was attracted to good men.

[Unknown]

Right.

[Kate Hudson]

But, like, you know, that the. The. The uncomplicated kind of. I liked a feisty, wild type. And whereas Danny has that in him. It. He. His values are very sturdy, and he's such a lovely person. And I would have never, I think, allowed that in if I didn't take those three years of just being so happy in my life alone.

[Unknown]

But I think that's a great thing for, like, all the women listening to. Think about. It's like when you're single, you get anxious of, like, okay, like, I need to find who's my next person. Like, oh, my gosh, like. Like my clock. Like, what am I gonna do? And it's like, if you just chill half the time when you get to the end, you're like, oh, I don't need anyone. Like, they gotta be great. If I find someone, there's this really.

[Kate Hudson]

Funny, like, I. I'm. I'm. I see. I, of course, get fed all these, like, Aries names. And there's this one where they're like, I'm an Aries, of course. Like, and there was One person who goes. I was like, I'm an Aries. Like, of course I love to be in relationships. And then he's like, you like me back? Like, and just rant. Runs in the other direction. And I think there's a little bit of, like, the Aries thing, which is like, we like newness.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Kate Hudson]

Venture. You know, like excitement.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Kate Hudson]

So, like, the sort of good man, like, solid relationship is, like, Aries. I think a little bit in our head is like, a little bit like, is this gonna, like, is there gonna be something that's gonna keep this interesting, or is there this the rest of my life? And I. I think a lot of, like, fire signs would relate to this and.

[Unknown]

Uhhuh.

[Kate Hudson]

So I. So for me, that those three years was like, oh, I'm actually, like, really love. I loved being without because I was so happy alone. Like, I. The ext. That sort of, like, excitement thing was like, I don't. That's actually not. Not really.

[Unknown]

You don't need it.

[Kate Hudson]

What's gonna.

[Unknown]

You're like, I'm exciting.

[Kate Hudson]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

I excite myself.

[Kate Hudson]

That's right. It's like I can. I can create my own thoughts. Newness.

[Unknown]

You and Danny had known each other for 15 years before you guys got together.

[Kate Hudson]

I met Danny when I was 23, pregnant with Ryder, and Danny was in high school. Yeah.

[Unknown]

Who made the first move?

[Kate Hudson]

Danny. Yeah. He was very, very slow. Slow burn.

[Unknown]

Slow.

[Kate Hudson]

So slow. I was like. I was like, this is getting. This is weird. Like, is this. Is. Is this, like a thing or is this, like, not a thing? You know? He's really cute. He's really great.

[Unknown]

That's so cute.

[Kate Hudson]

I know. He's the best. I honestly, like, I'm. I'm just. It's like, I'm so happy.

[Unknown]

Good for you. Because I. I think it's, like, incredible when you find. I. I love when you find people in your life that you like. I can tell you're like. Like, how you're glowing when you talk about him.

[Kate Hudson]

I could just, like, you know, I. I really believe that there's a lot of different people in your life that you could have. Right. It's like they're. The options are endless.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Kate Hudson]

When people are like, I can't find anybody. I'm like, you're not looking in the right places. Like, there's somebody for everybody. You have to just be open to it. It has to. And you have to let the expectation go.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Kate Hudson]

Like, he's not going to look the way you want him to look, and he's might not not. You know, all this, like this is my vision board. Like be comfortable if the person on your vision board is the opposite.

[Alex Cooper]

Right.

[Kate Hudson]

Of who the guy you end up falling in love with is. Because I really believe that like part of what stops us from experiencing like great love is that we are shrinking the idea down to something really small. And so we're not open to.

[Unknown]

Right. Like you may be with someone that's right in front of you, but you're like, but that's not what I wanted. And you're like, but you, if, if it's right, it's right. Like don't run away just cuz it's not your vision board. Like throw out Pinterest.

[Kate Hudson]

That's right. That's right. But it's good to have vision boards. I like it. But like, but like be open to something totally different.

[Unknown]

What does independence look like for you in a relationship?

[Kate Hudson]

Great question. Oh, this question's so important. I think like it's so hard because communication, I think in order to be in truly have like independence, you have to be good communicators. Because everyone's idea of their needs are so different, you know. And I am very independent. It's the other thing about Danny, he's so like, he just like lets me be you. Be me. And I, it's like I could, you know, I could be like, I really want to go out with my girlfriends tonight and I really want to be with you. Like, go babe, go. And I could like be out till four in the morning, end up on some thing and come back like, oh my God, I had the craziest night. I did it. And he's just like totally okay with it. Like in a, in a good way. He loves when I'm happy. And it was the, if it's the other way around, I'm like, yeah.

[Unknown]

Why were you out?

[Kate Hudson]

Hold on a second. What were you up to four in the morning?

[Unknown]

What could you have been doing?

[Kate Hudson]

Whose car did you end up in? No, literally no. But I, I, I, but I really did. Like, but like independence is like what works for you. Like what might work for me doesn't work for him. So in order for me to feel independent, I think think you have to communicate what that is. Like my thing is I just want to be told, you know, like, just tell me that you're, you know, where you are. Like, tell me what you need and then I'm good. What? I don't, I'm, I have a hard time with like not knowing.

[Unknown]

Right, right.

[Kate Hudson]

Some People are fine with not knowing. They're much more comfortable with that, secure with it. My things. Like, if you tell me me that you're gonna call me at 11, but you call me at 2, like, that's gonna not create independence.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Kate Hudson]

For either. Yes.

[Unknown]

No, I think it's a great point.

[Kate Hudson]

I could talk about this all day long. I love it.

[Unknown]

I could talk to you forever because I love having insightful conversations where we don't have the same background. So I'm interested to hear, like, oh, like, what is your take on this?

[Kate Hudson]

Yeah, I also like a full disclaimer. I should just wear, like. I don't know what I'm talking about.

[Unknown]

Me either.

[Kate Hudson]

But it's like. It's like for me, I'm also like. Like I'm saying this, but I also am very happy to be wrong about.

[Unknown]

Women should run the world. So, like, okay, this album, I think it's incredible because, like I said, you have an incredible voice, but the songwriting is phenomenal. And knowing that you said you have, like, hundreds of songs just, like, in your house. How did you decide what you were going to put into this album?

[Kate Hudson]

We just started fresh. There was no, like. I mean, there's a. There's two songs on there that. That I wrote before I started writing with Linda, and then after we got out of the studio writing with Linda Perry, who's a. A writer on a lot of it, we went back. Dan and I went back and I. We kind of, you know, restructured two other songs that I had written before, but they. They're. It's all like, of that time, you know, so.

[Unknown]

Well, that's why I'm, like, listening to, like, the push and pull and. And moving on. Like, there's a lot. That's why I wanted to talk to you about you. And I think that's when people connect the most with lyrics, when they get to know someone more. And I can. I'm telling you, my fans love music, so they're gonna be like, yeah, now that we know. Well, Kate more, the lyrics will.

[Kate Hudson]

Honestly, it's like such a. It's. It's. It's like. Because I waited so long to put something out, it was really important that there. It was a. It was reflected. So that there was, like, for me, that it was where I'm at now, but that there's a. That there's a. The story of sort of, you know, a life well loved, and whether that be with my son or whether it be in past relationships that didn't work out or Where I'm at now in with my Romeo, which was. Which is. You know, and that's just. Danny and I wrote that together and. But, like, you know, that kind of the freedom in that song, you know? And I have always been a hopeless romantic, and I'm gonna take the word hopeless out of it because I actually feel that there's. There's. I'm a hopeful romantic, you know? Know, it's like. And the hardest songs for me to write are the hopeful ones. And that was so important for me in this because I'm so. Like, my brain loves a depressing song. Like, I. I mean, if you go into my vault of music, it's just. There's so much depressing in there. It's crazy. And it will come out at some point.

[Unknown]

Okay, good.

[Kate Hudson]

I. I really, like.

[Unknown]

We need a good cry. We need a good cry.

[Kate Hudson]

But, like, for me, with this, I wanted it to feel like what the album title is. Like, there's to. To. To Love fully is a glorious experience, and it. It comes to you in so many different ways. And, like, we're talking about, like, if you're open to it, then you. You know, you're. Then you're. I think you're living a really, like, well, loved life. As long as you're a good person, treating people respectfully and you're honest. Honest.

[Alex Cooper]

No.

[Unknown]

I can't thank you enough for coming on. Like, I had such a fabulous time getting to know you, and I'm so excited that I got to sit with you for this long to, like, talk about all the girl things, but talk about the music, because it is intertwined. Like you said, like, this is a. This album is about love and, like, the experiences that you've had. And I think it's inspiring, honestly. I think some people feel, like, constrained. Like, that was the one love of my life. You can have so many loves of your lives, and you can have so many loves, and you can love people in different ways. And you shouldn't love. Look at.

[Alex Cooper]

Back at your past in negative way.

[Unknown]

Like, every chapter is a new chapter and just like, lean in and have a good time.

[Kate Hudson]

Yeah. And, like, gonna find out is like, about not wanting a relationship. Right. You know, it's about being in that. Yeah. For three years. You know, that's kind of like a song about when you just want to. Like when you don't. That. That, like, little, you know, like, spark that you have with someone where you're just like, is this gonna go down? You know?

[Unknown]

Okay, last question that I know you have to go.

[Kate Hudson]

Go.

[Unknown]

What is your favorite?

[Kate Hudson]

I have to go make out with a guy. I have one scene to do today.

[Unknown]

Stop.

[Kate Hudson]

I'm making out with a total stranger.

[Unknown]

What?

[Kate Hudson]

I've been like, really stressing about this.

[Unknown]

Oh my God. And you're coughing.

[Kate Hudson]

I, I, I'm not telling him. But you have to make out. Like full makeup. I want to like, make out with this random guy.

[Unknown]

How long?

[Alex Cooper]

How many?

[Kate Hudson]

You will see it on Netflix at some point.

[Unknown]

Stop up.

[Kate Hudson]

Yeah, I don't, I don't know, but I've been like, having anxiety over the.

[Unknown]

How do you get prepared for that?

[Kate Hudson]

You just, I don't know. I've never, I, what I do is I'm channeling Emma Stone in, in, you know, poor things, poor things, poor things, poor things.

[Unknown]

You're channeling Emma Stone. Poor things.

[Kate Hudson]

If she could do that.

[Unknown]

You can do this.

[Kate Hudson]

I can do this.

[Alex Cooper]

Come on.

[Kate Hudson]

You know what I mean? I can make out with some random guy.

[Unknown]

Easy.

[Kate Hudson]

And. Yeah. So.

[Unknown]

Well, thank you so much for coming on. This was truly so fun. You're fabulous. Thank you.

[Alex Cooper]

Hi, Daddy Gang, it is your father. I am so excited that coloraddy has officially joined the Sirius XM family. I cannot wait to talk to new guests and continue to share my crazy personal stories and experiences with you every single week. If you want to hear new episodes ad free, subscribe to SiriusXM podcasts on Apple Podcasts to start your free trial today.

[Unknown]

Tires matter. They're the only part of your vehicle that touches the road. Tread confidently with new tires from Tire Rack. Whether you're looking for expert recommendations or know exactly what you want, Tire Rack makes it it easy, fast free shipping, free road hazard protection and convenient installation options. Go to tirerack.com to see Tire test results, tire ratings and consumer reviews and be sure to check out all the special offers. Tirerack.com the way Tire buying should be Parents of tweens, if you're familiar with far off drop offs.

Dad, stop.

[Kate Hudson]

Stop. Stop right here. Or get DMs about what's for dinner. You may be experiencing tween milestones for your son or daughter. These can start at age 9. HPV vaccination, a type of cancer prevention against certain HPV related cancers can start then too. For most HPV clears on its own.

[Unknown]

But for those who don't clear the.

[Kate Hudson]

Virus, it can cause certain cancers later in life. Embrace this phase. Help protect them in the next. Ask their doctor today about HPV vaccination. Brought to you by Merck at Capella University Learning online doesn't mean learning alone. Recividas a pollo de Personas que se perocupan por 2 example unfoturo differente estam ma sergloca concapella University visit Capella Eduardo.