Lauren Graham: Lorelai, Love, & Life Lessons

Summary

Call Her Daddy: Lauren Graham - Lorelai, Love, & Life Lessons

Episode Release Date: April 2, 2025

Host: Alex Cooper

---

Introduction and Welcome

[01:57]
Alex Cooper warmly welcomes Lauren Graham to the show, expressing her admiration and excitement about having Lauren as a guest. Lauren reciprocates the enthusiasm, highlighting the special connection she feels being in the same space as the "Daddy Gang."

Early Career and Diverse Job Experiences

[09:27]
Lauren shares insights into her early career before her acting fame took off. She discusses various jobs she held, including being a waitress, an apprentice at summer stock theater, handling box office duties, and working as a tutor for the SATs. Lauren emphasizes that while none of these roles were her ultimate passion, she appreciated the fast-paced nature and the sense of community they provided.

Legacy of Gilmore Girls: Themes and Resonance

[10:46]
Lauren delves into the enduring popularity of Gilmore Girls, noting that in 2023, Netflix viewers logged over 500 million hours watching the show. She attributes its lasting appeal to relatable themes, genuine world-building, and the safe, aspirational environment it provides. Lauren reflects on how the show's dialogue and character relationships create a unique, almost musical experience for the audience.

Character Development: Lorelai Gilmore

[14:20]
Lauren discusses her first impressions of her character, Lorelai Gilmore. She was particularly struck by the character's humor and how Lorelai was written as a single mother who maintains her youthfulness and independence. Lauren appreciated that Lorelai's life didn't solely revolve around her daughter, Rory, but also focused on her own career and personal struggles, making her a multifaceted and inspiring character.

Relationship with Co-stars and Friendship Dynamics

[13:30]
The conversation shifts to the chemistry between Lauren and her co-star Alexis Bledel (Rory Gilmore). Lauren recounts their immediate bond and how their differing energies complemented each other, enhancing the mother-daughter dynamic on screen. She highlights the strong friendships formed during the show's production, particularly with cast members Mayim Bialik and Miles Gottlieb, which have endured beyond the series.

Reflections on the Show’s Finale and Revival

[27:14]
Lauren reflects on the emotional impact of the show's cancellation and the subsequent revival. She shares the uncertainty and sadness felt among the cast when they were informed that the original series would not continue. The revival, however, brought immense joy and closure, allowing Lauren to reconnect with her beloved character and the Gilmore Girls family in a fulfilling way.

Insights on Aging and Personal Growth

[58:41]
The discussion takes a personal turn as Lauren opens up about aging as a woman in the public eye. She shares her perspectives on embracing aging with humor and gratitude, drawing from her own experiences and observations. Lauren emphasizes the importance of self-acceptance and planning for the future to maintain a positive outlook on getting older.

Advice for Listeners: Career Fulfillment and Relationships

[58:58]
Lauren offers thoughtful advice to listeners struggling with career fulfillment and balancing personal relationships. She encourages finding fulfillment through projects independent of external validation and emphasizes the importance of clear communication in relationships. Lauren highlights the value of aligning personal values and maintaining honesty to foster healthy, supportive partnerships.

Notable Quotes:

• "The only falling behind is in your mind." [61:31]
• "I know what I want and I'm grateful for what I have." [65:13]

Handling Success and Personal Development

[47:48]
Lauren discusses the challenges of maintaining personal growth alongside career success. She reflects on her past tendencies to downgrade her achievements to avoid intimidating her partners and how she's evolved to embrace her accomplishments without feeling the need to diminish herself for others' comfort.

Final Reflections and Takeaways

[71:28]
As the conversation winds down, Lauren hopes that listeners enjoy her new show and take away positive messages about fun, friendship, and resilience. She shares her excitement about contributing to new storytelling avenues and fostering a sense of community through her work.

Notable Quotes:

• "Everything lasts forever. And that's how it goes. And so that's true in work, in life. We are not to be replaced." [70:25]
• "I just hope they have a good time. I mean, I've seen it. It is truly makes fun of everybody." [71:31]

Conclusion

Alex Cooper thanks Lauren Graham for her candid and inspiring insights, expressing gratitude for the meaningful conversation. Lauren reciprocates, appreciating the opportunity to share her journey and connect with the "Daddy Gang."

---

Notable Quotes Summary:

1. "The only falling behind is in your mind." [61:31]
   Advice on feeling accomplished and not comparing oneself to others.

2. "I know what I want and I'm grateful for what I have." [65:13]
   Lauren’s perspective on aging and personal fulfillment.

3. "Everything lasts forever. And that's how it goes. And so that's true in work, in life. We are not to be replaced." [70:25]
   Reflection on the impermanence of roles and personal connections.

4. "I just hope they have a good time. I mean, I've seen it. It is truly makes fun of everybody." [71:31]
   Lauren’s hopes for her new show’s reception and impact.

---

This comprehensive summary captures the essence of Lauren Graham's discussion on her career, personal growth, and the lasting legacy of Gilmore Girls, providing valuable insights and memorable quotes for those who haven't listened to the podcast episode.

Transcript

[Alex Cooper]

Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Intuit TurboTax. When you think of Taxes, it used to be just getting frustrated by your forms, right? But now Taxes is uploading your forms with a Snap and a TurboTax expert will do your taxes for you. Okay? One who's backed by the latest tech which cross checks millions of data points for absolute accuracy. All of which makes it easy for you to get the most money back guaranteed. Daddy Gang, get an Expert now on TurboTax.com only available with TurboTax Live full service. See guaranteed [e-mail] guarantees call her daddy is brought to you by IXL. If you're a parent and you want to help your child with their homework and set them up for success, then I Excel is right for your family as an effective and affordable online learning tool. I Excel covers math, language arts, science and social studies using interactive practice problems for kids from Pre K to 12th grade. I will be using this when I have a child. Okay, Daddy Gang. Call Call Her Daddy. Listeners can get an exclusive 20% off I Excel membership when they sign up today at I x l.com/call her daddy. Visit I x l.com call her daddy to get the most effective learning program out there at the best price. This episode is brought to you by leap by Eve St. Laurent. Lieb Low Knew is the perfect statement. Bold yet light, with notes of citrus and floral alcohol Free, long lasting and completely unforgettable. Find it now at Sephora. What is up, Daddy Gang? It is your founding father, Alex Cooper with Call Her Daddy.

[Lauren Graham]

Lauren Graham. Welcome to Call Her Daddy.

[Unknown Guest]

Thank you so much.

[Lauren Graham]

I am such a fan. This is so epic and so fun and I think that my fans, the Daddy Gang, are going to freak out that we're in the same room.

[Unknown Guest]

That's really, really nice of you to say. Thank you. I'm excited too.

[Lauren Graham]

How are you doing today?

[Unknown Guest]

Listen, I was running a little late. It's raining in California, which always freaks everybody out and. But I am otherwise good.

[Lauren Graham]

No, everyone acts like we have to, like all stay home from work when it rains. It's like no one leave your house. Or none of us also can drive, apparently.

[Unknown Guest]

No, everyone gets very stressed out and it's hard, but it also looks really pretty and, you know, it makes the air feel healthier.

[Lauren Graham]

True. Okay, you live in la. What is the most LA thing about you and the least LA thing about you?

[Unknown Guest]

Well, I live in LA and New York. I still have a place in New York that I've had for a long Time. So I'm, I'm endlessly like asking that question. I think one extremely LA thing is to be really freaked out by like one inch of rain.

[Lauren Graham]

Yep.

[Unknown Guest]

And it is a thing to like really have long conversations about what freeway you took and why and. And it's just very LA to be like, oh my gosh, it's 70 degrees, I'm freezing. Like that has become like now I go to the east coast and I can't. I don't know how I ever lived there.

[Lauren Graham]

I feel the same way. My parents recently have been like, alex, shut the up. You literally grew up in Pennsylvania. You went to school in Boston, you lived in New York.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah.

[Lauren Graham]

Why are you cold? It's like 60 something degrees. I'm like, I need a. I need like a parka.

[Unknown Guest]

I think it changes your body to live here. I don't think it's our fault. I think that you just more of a wimp.

[Lauren Graham]

I agree. But like we're so fortunate to have this weather. Like I want to stay in it forever.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah.

[Lauren Graham]

And then the least LA thing about.

[Unknown Guest]

You, I don't do yoga. I try. I've tried. I'll try again. I just can't. People are like, oh my God, the yoga. I don't know why I'm making impressions of my friends, making them sound like ding dongs. But like, yeah, I can't do. I don't, I don't know. It's so slow and it's too slow.

[Lauren Graham]

I also can't do it. I don't also do hikes as often as I probably should. Whenever. It's like hiking. But yoga, I'm the same way. I'm like. And hot. Yoga.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah.

[Lauren Graham]

Truly off.

[Unknown Guest]

Right.

[Lauren Graham]

Okay. When you aren't working, what is your favorite way to spend an off day?

[Unknown Guest]

Well, I really have enjoyed because I worked for a big chunk of the year and I'm. I'm in kind of a newish house that I haven't like gotten. I haven't gotten to spend a lot of time there. I really love doing very little. And my favorite thing about my house is I put cuz the. I put the coffee machine where the bedrooms are on the bedroom level. So I get up, I get out of bed, I go boop to the coffee maker. I get back in bed and I do like every New York Times puzzle I'll read, I'll like. I just. The luxury of not having a 5am call time is just really a wonderful place.

[Lauren Graham]

Saying that just made me realize like we're all doing it Wrong. It's like, why is my coffee machine on another floor?

[Unknown Guest]

We.

[Lauren Graham]

Obviously, you played historically, like, a character that was obsessed with coffee. What is your coffee order? It's.

[Unknown Guest]

Well, it's gotten. It's. It's pretty. It can be anything. First of all, I'll drink coffee from the gas station. I don't care. And. And also, I'll have, like, really coffee with, like, a lot of, you know, footnotes on it. Like, can you. And also. But the thing that I do around holiday time, so the coffee is just coffee. I like this vanilla creamer. And then I've being this person, which is I have whipped cream in a can, and I put whipped cream on top of my coffee and cinnamon. It's the best thing you've ever had. And. And I. The whipped cream was just, like, for holidays. I was like, certainly no one can just have whipped cream on their coffee. That's just decadent. And then I just kept it from Christmas. It's so good.

[Lauren Graham]

No. Every time my husband sees me, he's like, you're making a milkshake. That's not a coffee. And I'm like, shut up. Watch yourself. I'm having a nice morning.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah.

[Lauren Graham]

And he just drinks it black. And I'm like, you're insane. Okay, wait, so then was that, like, a huge part that you just, like, randomly brought to Lorelei? Like, did you or did. Was that already written as the character?

[Unknown Guest]

It was all written. It was all there. The coffees. I mean, it's in the first episode, right? She goes, and he's, you know, demands more coffee, and he's like, you've had enough. No, that was just there. And, you know, like, it was one of the many kind of serendipitous aspects of that part and that time. And that character is like, we just shared a lot of traits.

[Lauren Graham]

Okay, I'm gonna move my coffee machine upstairs. I don't know how I'm doing it, but I'm doing Foreign.

[Alex Cooper]

Is brought to you by Clawd, the if you know, you know, AI assistant that's vibing with millions of people around the world. Think of Claude as your pocket AI agony aunt for dating advice, journaling, or as a sounding board for those important life conversations. You can ask Claude to help with almost any task, whether it's crafting you a business plan for that side hustle, giving you style ideas based on photos of your wardrobe, or even interior design inspo for that awkward corner of your living room. While other AI assistants sound like robots, Claude just gets it when it comes to empathy and emotional intelligence. Basically, Claude's a supportive king. You can chat with Claude for free [e-mail] that's C L A U D E.com Enjoy. Daddy Yang. When it comes to beauty and fragrance, I am all about the fearless, unapologetic vibes. And that is exactly what you get in YSL's newest fragrance, Lib La Nou. Libelau Nou is a citrus floral masterpiece. Alcohol free and completely liberating. It's a fragrance that makes a statement the moment you wear it. I love how it feels fresh, light, yet still bold. It is the perfect balance of feminine and daring and it's got this incredible staying power and leaves my skin feeling radiant and glowing. It really is the perfect balance of citrus and florals. It's so fresh and sexy. If you are ready to experience something new, trust me. Daddy Gang Lieb La Nou. A refreshing twist on the iconic Lieb eau de parfum. I personally have this fragrance and I will say my favorite thing. Although, yes, I love my husband thinking I smell good, there is nothing better when women or your girlfriends compliment you. And every single time I have worn this fragrance, my girlfriends are like, no. What are you wearing? Give it to me right now. That smells so freaking good. And Matt is obsessed with it. I'm always looking for something that has a fresh citrus floral scent, but it needs to still be that perfect balance of not overpowering, but still bold. And this has exactly that. So, Daddy Gang, if you want to try it out, shop now at Sephora.

[Lauren Graham]

Before your acting career took off, you worked a lot of different jobs. Can you share some of your favorite ones?

[Unknown Guest]

I mean, none of them were all. They were all on the. You know, it's hard to do something in service of the thing you want to do, but you're not there yet. But I didn't. I didn't hate being a waitress. I. I liked the. I like anything where you're moving and the time goes by really quickly. I liked being an apprentice at summer Stock, even though, like, during the day we had to, like, clean the bathrooms and paint the fence and stuff, work the box office. But that was just like. We were all kind of in it together. It was like a fun community. I liked being a tutor. I was a tutor for the sats and stuff.

[Lauren Graham]

Oh, my God.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah.

[Lauren Graham]

Wait, that's a flex. Wait, no, Lauren, that's like, whoa.

[Unknown Guest]

It was a little bit.

[Lauren Graham]

Sure.

[Unknown Guest]

I mean, really, the reason I got the job is because I had a car in New York City. I And they were like, oh, we'll send her to Far Rockaway or whatever. But I like working with kids, and we weren't even that far apart in age. I was like, right out of grad school and I'm working with, like, high school kids, so. So they were all kind of okay. I worked retail. I worked at Barney's. Oh, you did it all. Yeah.

[Lauren Graham]

Okay, let's talk about Gilmore Girls.

[Unknown Guest]

Okay.

[Lauren Graham]

I'm the biggest fan. Like, I feel like I go back and forth. It depends. Usually time of year. I'm like, it just is. End of September, it's about to be October. Boom, hit it again. And I just saw that, according to Netflix, people spent 500 million hours watching the show in 2023. Like, I'm like, oh, I'm 100 million of those hours. How does it feel to know that this show is still just so loved?

[Unknown Guest]

It feels really good. And also, it's hard to. It's hard to comprehend. It's like, I feel really lucky. I feel, like, honored. And it's just kind of crazy. I don't. Because where does it go from here? Like, how many generations? You know, I feel like, though it.

[Lauren Graham]

Will have, like, it has this lasting power because the themes are so relatable and the world that was built is so genuine and safe feeling, which I think, like, depending on what's going on in the world, like, for me, like, when I need a show that's going to make me feel good, I'm turning it on. Yeah. And I think especially in the next couple of years, people will be like, replay, replay. Go back to episode one. Like, I. To me, that may be, like, everyone has a different experience with it, but, like, why do you think it resonates with so many people?

[Unknown Guest]

Everything you just said, I think it's a safe place to visit and, you know, it's aspirational without being saccharine. I mean, this mother daughter relationship's really fun and positive, but it has its bumps on the road. But I do think it's the writing as well, which is kind of meets you. Sorry. Meets you wherever you are. If you're a young person, you might miss some of the references and get some of the wit of it kind of as you get older. But I think there's a. It's almost. To me. And this is what it was like performing it. It has a musicality to it. It's. It's almost theater in a way. I feel like how densely packed the dialogue is, but how kind of it takes you along like a song does, you know, And. And so it's. It's something in your brain that, like, playing a song again, like, you can kind of listen to it again.

[Lauren Graham]

That's such an interesting way. Did it feel like that when you were. It's like its own world, essentially, of what you guys have created. Can you explain the moment to me that you realized, holy, this show is a hit?

[Unknown Guest]

It. There was no moment because it was a very slow burn and continues to be like. Like, you know, I remember driving. I guess my window was down or something. I was at a stoplight and like, a more Truckee driver guy was like, Gilmore Girls. And I was like, unlikely, sir. You're an unlikely, but I love it. And so it. There. It was a really slow burn.

[Lauren Graham]

That is the best. Where you're like, not the demographic. I thought we were hit.

[Unknown Guest]

You can't believe how many men are like, I know it's. You know, it's not for me or it's not designed for me. And I'm like, it is for you. You should start a support group. Like, you know, there's ye.

[Lauren Graham]

Okay, one. When you got the script initially, what was your first impression like now, in hindsight, of Lorelei, like, in that moment, do you remember, I was really struck.

[Unknown Guest]

By the sense of humor in. In the. In the writing, and that it was. Because you have to remember, this was a. We now have many more dramedies than we did then, and I don't even know. And even when the show started picking up steam and getting submitted for things, there was always a discussion every time of, do we submit it in comedy or do we submit it in drama? It doesn't really. It is its own kind of thing. But it's that tone that I love the most. And it did not occur to me, although it occurred to many other people in my work life that she was a mom. Like. Like, that wasn't the thing that struck me, that because a lot of people then. I was 30, I turned 32 on the pilot, I think, or right before. And people were like, don't play a mom. That's the end of your career. Like, you should, you know, play whatever girlfriend, you know, until you can't do that anymore, or whatever. You know, it was more like, play the. The play the girlfriend. And. And I was like, oh, I don't think of this. Mom is not. Mom can be so many things, you know, And. And I just really. I recognized the language. Like. Like it was somebody speaking to me. I was like, I know that person well.

[Lauren Graham]

I love how you brought it to life, though, because even you saying that, you're right. I guess someone could read on a page and be like, lorelai is a mom. But I'm like, the way that she had this youthfulness about her not even saying, yes. Like, you're young as a woman at this point and still. But it's like the energy you were bringing and her and her own storylines were. So she was an individual and she was a mother at the same time. And I think you brought that to life, and it was very inspiring as a woman to watch that character, because her life didn't just revolve around Rory, even though it revolved around Rory. And it felt very refreshing to see a single mother who had her own life and her career and her struggles. Like it. I loved it. Like, I loved watching two women of different ages work together to this, like, common goal of trying to find happiness with each other. And individually, I loved it, too.

[Unknown Guest]

And I think the. The aspect, because you could have just stopped at the premise being, oh, she had her as a teenager, but it. It was also therefore allowed for them to have a more truly pure relationship, except for when, you know, somebody needed to. To put their foot down. And we did it for each other, in a way. And you buy it, I think, because that's the whole thing of the show. Their friends who are also mother and daughter, their mother and daughter who are also friends. And it's beautiful. Yeah.

[Lauren Graham]

In what ways did you relate to Lorelei? And, like, how does that work in a script where you're slowly learning more about the character and you're learning about yourself? Like, what was the through line for you?

[Unknown Guest]

I'm trying to think now. There was one in particular in the maybe first or second season where I was like, are they. Are they just, like, stealing from my life? Like, and it was probably in. I mean, of course there are. So, besides, I was not a mom, but many parallels of, like, dating career, you know, setbacks, dealing with parents. I mean, it's just all relatable. It is the wonderful evolution in television where the more the writer gets to know you, I mean, you're always playing. Hopefully the best thing you can get in, especially a TV show that's going to go on, is you want to be the voice of the creator of the show. You want to be that character who, you know is them speaking through you. Kind of. That's where you get the most juicy kind of material. But also, as they get to know you, they start writing for you even more. And that's really fun.

[Lauren Graham]

Fun and scary, where you're like, wait, no, you just heard me gossiping over here. How is that in the script this week?

[Unknown Guest]

Get away. Yes.

[Lauren Graham]

I've, like, sat with actors sometimes. We're like, I had to, like, stop talking about my personal life because. Yeah, in the script. And I'm right.

[Unknown Guest]

No, you always hear that about, like, Sex in the City and friends and stuff. Yeah, I. I felt that less on Parenthood, where. Which. I love that character. I loved that show too. But I would get frustrated on her behalf sometimes. I'd be like, what? Can't she not have a win? Like, what? I mean, she did have wins, and. And. And had, you know, such a beautiful relationship to her. That family, too.

[Lauren Graham]

But Sarah Braverman.

[Unknown Guest]

Come on, Sarah.

[Lauren Graham]

Sarah needed more wins than Lorelei.

[Unknown Guest]

Yes. Right.

[Lauren Graham]

Different y. Okay. What was it like the first time that you met Alexis, AKA Rory Gilmore?

[Unknown Guest]

Well, it was. It was literally on our way to the table read because they had waited for me because I was on another show. So by the time they cast me, they were ready to go, ready to shoot, and we went to Canada, and I met Alexis in the lobby of the. Of the. Of the hotel, and we just always really got along.

[Lauren Graham]

Oh, my God.

[Unknown Guest]

It was really lucky.

[Lauren Graham]

That is kind of incredible and also hilarious of, like, this relationship that we all feel like we grew up with. Whether people wish they had that relationship with their mom or they find similarities or differences. And it was, like, such a heartstring puller. Then it's like you're like, oh, we quickly met, and then we got off to the races.

[Unknown Guest]

It worked.

[Lauren Graham]

What do you remember of, like, those first few scenes shooting with Alexis? Because, like, did you feel the immediate chemistry? Were you guys trying to figure out your vibe together?

[Alex Cooper]

No.

[Unknown Guest]

I mean, I. I think we did just feel the immediate chemistry. You know, we are very different energies. She is a shyer, quieter person, which is perfect, because I think if you had two loud mes, you'd not have a good balance. And I just really liked her, and I. She just had, like, a lot of natural ability.

[Lauren Graham]

Okay, I'm gonna ask you some rapid fire Gilmore Girl questions. Stars Hollow is so iconic, obviously. What was your favorite place there?

[Unknown Guest]

Not the town hall, because it was so hot in there always. It was, like, 50 people. You know, Luke's was always fun. The scenes in there were always fun. It always just had a lot of, like, energy. I used to get phone calls from, like, my cousins who'd be like, how many times are you going around the gazebo? Like, you've been like. We would just walk around the gazebo a million times. So, you know, you just. Just get such a sense memory of all these places. My house was always fun and the kitchen was always good. Good scenes in the kitchen. It tended to be, you know, in the house where, like, we'd have some good. Watching tv, sitting on the couch with giant cheese puffs in front of us. So the best. They were all. They were all really cozy.

[Lauren Graham]

The damn town hall. I'm dead. Okay, which castmate is most like their character in real life?

[Unknown Guest]

Kelly. Well, no, gosh, everybody is and isn't. You know, like, Kelly has that part of her.

[Lauren Graham]

Okay.

[Unknown Guest]

But she's warm. She's. She's, you know, regal, but way warmer than. Than Emily, who. Who does. Who had warmth in there.

[Lauren Graham]

Yes. Okay. What Lorelei line is most often quoted back to you?

[Unknown Guest]

I mean, oi. With the poodles already. I guess that's good.

[Lauren Graham]

That's good. Okay. Lorelei has some amazing outfits. Did you ever use your own clothes from your own closet?

[Unknown Guest]

I think I did. I think that. That everybody loves an Irish girl T shirt. That was my introduction to Instagram. Yeah. Guys, I haven't even been on it a year yet. Really was really waiting to just make sure it was gonna stick. I think that was mine. And occasionally. But, you know, you're going to work at 5 in the morning and, like, so I wasn't. I wasn't bringing in anything good. Also, like, my clothes are not. Her clothes are more fun than. So my clothes are not fun.

[Lauren Graham]

So fun. Okay, what storyline was a little hard for you to get behind?

[Unknown Guest]

There's a year when Alexis and I are in a fight. Rory and Lorelei are in a fight for a long time. And. And we would talk about it, and Amy was like, you know, you can't do a show for this long and not have conflict. But it. I forget even what the conflict was, but it went on for a while, and that's the one that I would hear from people that they didn't. They didn't like that.

[Lauren Graham]

I agree. Yeah. Which of Rory's boyfriends do you think was the best fit for her in the long run?

[Unknown Guest]

You know, you can't get me. I won't be gotten here or anywhere else. I'll never say they were all a good fit for her at the time because there were a learning experience.

[Lauren Graham]

Oh, my God, you're so. That's the right answer.

[Unknown Guest]

Oh, you're learning. Even the frogs. You know, you're the frogs.

[Lauren Graham]

Okay. Which of Lorelei's partners did you like the best?

[Unknown Guest]

I mean, Luke is the right answer for sure. Yeah.

[Lauren Graham]

Luke. Yep. Okay. You previously said you did not date Scott Patterson, obviously, who plays Luke in the show, but you did date a couple of the other guys on the set of Gilmore Girls. I know. You're not gonna tell me. Can I ask, though? Was it anyone that Lorelei ever dated?

[Unknown Guest]

Yes. And dating's real big word for. For some of the experiences. But, you know, you're there 14, 15 hours. Who else are you gonna meet?

[Lauren Graham]

No. Are you kidding me? I love that for you. Okay, quickly want to go through some memorable scenes. Can you tell I'm a fan? I'm like, hold on.

[Unknown Guest]

I hope I remember them.

[Lauren Graham]

I'm like, wait, just one more time. No, actually, it's good if you don't, like. Let's get through it. Okay. Okay, I'm gonna give you a moment. Tell me what you remember. Any behind the scenes, how you felt. Whatever it was. Okay. When Lorelei and Rory get hit on by the same guy at Luke Steiner. First scene of the pilot.

[Unknown Guest]

Well, that really was the scene. That was the hook of the show, weirdly, or I had never seen that scene before in anything. And I thought, like, that's really creative. That's a great way to introduce that. These are, you know, people who are close in age. And I. I did sort of feel like that's the. I can still. I can remember it really well. You know, it was one of the first scenes, if not the first scene we shot at Luke's diner. I don't know. I felt like that. That was a really fun. The kid playing the kid was really cute. And Alexis was like, are you my new daddy? Like, speaking of. Call her daddy. And I don't know, it was just really fun. It was like the hook of the show.

[Lauren Graham]

It was amazing. Okay. When Lorelei and Luke finally have their first kiss, this.

[Unknown Guest]

When was that?

[Lauren Graham]

You guys are, like, on the porch. I think it was this season four finale. You guys are on the porch that early season four. You, like, pull away. You're like, what are you doing? And he's like, would you just shut up for a second? And then he goes in.

[Unknown Guest]

That's so hot.

[Lauren Graham]

I know. Oh, it was so hot. I like, re with, like, rewind. Rewind. Yeah, because, like, the build. I love how you say that.

[Unknown Guest]

Soon.

[Lauren Graham]

I'm like, I was.

[Unknown Guest]

You waited that long day one.

[Lauren Graham]

Day one. Okay. When Lorelei starts dating Rory's teacher.

[Unknown Guest]

Well, I think we've learned both from Lorelei and Sarah. Braverman, don't date your teacher's kid.

[Alex Cooper]

I.

[Lauren Graham]

When I was getting ready. No, I forgot about that. I was like, Sarah and Lorelei both dated.

[Unknown Guest]

Doesn't work out.

[Lauren Graham]

No, it does not. Okay. When Rory slept with Dean after he got married.

[Unknown Guest]

She did?

[Lauren Graham]

Yeah.

[Unknown Guest]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, I remember. I remember.

[Lauren Graham]

I remember.

[Unknown Guest]

I remember. Oh. I mean, there are these things where. Yeah, that was bad. That was very out of character for her.

[Lauren Graham]

It was. But sometimes you had to switch it up. Okay. When weekly dinners with Richard and Emily were the price for Rory going to Chilton.

[Unknown Guest]

I mean, it's tough because I don't want to wreck anything for anybody. I loved those scenes. They were a real bear to shoot because somebody's eating here and somebody's eating there. Somebody's eating here. You got to move the camera all the way around. And so they would take a really long time. And you'd sit in front of that, like, fake fancy food. And, you know, but we. We would just. That was also so key to the show to. So, you know, so we. We loved them. While they took a long time.

[Lauren Graham]

I didn't even think about that as, like, when you're in production, like, you're like, I'm. Which I guess could then kind of, in a positive way, like, add to your annoyance.

[Unknown Guest]

Exactly.

[Lauren Graham]

Shut up, Mom. And you're, like, getting annoyed.

[Unknown Guest]

Well, and it. And it does. It's. It's an interesting exercise in continuity because, as you know, the hours tick by. What are. What's your emotional level? Where did your elbow go? Like, so there was a kind of, you're right, like, constraint in there or something that, like, you had to keep doing this the same exact way and.

[Lauren Graham]

Yet keep it fresh, which is kind of indicative of how you were actually supposed to be feeling while you're shooting that scene. So. Okay, there we go.

[Unknown Guest]

I used it in my work.

[Lauren Graham]

Okay. You talked about how you did not realize that the season seven finale was the end of Gilmore Girls. And I cannot imagine emotionally just being like, see you guys tomorrow, or, see you guys next season. And then it ends. Like, what was that last day like for you?

[Unknown Guest]

It was really emotional. We had our wonderful director, Lee Charlotte Schemmel, who was like, guys, you know, I'm going to do a shot at the end that mimics the shot that. That is in the pilot that sort of pulls away from Luke's. And we're, like, there in the diner. She's like, in case this is it. And the whole year had been really emotional. We were very lost without as good as writers, we had that. We were kind of lost. Without Amy and Dan, the show just didn't feel the same. We couldn't even, it was like, what it. Should we try to stay? Should we try to keep going? Like, it, you know, it's not up to the actors. So there were many, many, many conversations and, and it just did feel like you, you want to be able to say goodbye to something. And we didn't get to do that.

[Lauren Graham]

Obviously, the show came back for revival, but, like, when you did walk away, how did you feel knowing, like, wow, the Gilmore Girls era of my life is over.

[Unknown Guest]

Well, it didn't happen until a few weeks later. There were still conversations going on. Who knows how that decision ultimately got made, But I was at a restaurant and the waiter came over and was like, your agent's on the phone. Which was very dramatic, glamorous. I was like, oh, excuse me, my agent's on the phone. And I went and picked up the phone at the bar. Cause I guess I don't know what was going on with cell phones then and, or why he knew where I was or like, why. I don't know any of it, but. And he said, it's over. And I didn't know how to feel. And I didn't know, you know, later, different. A couple different cast members said, you know, you didn't call me? And I was like, oh, God, I didn't. Wouldn't even have thought it was my job or my place to call anybody and tell them no.

[Lauren Graham]

And that's what I think is like, nice though, to hear, because I think people would be like, what do you mean you didn't know? And you're like, no, I'm literally sitting there and I didn't know. So you guys come back for the revival. What was it like playing Lorelei again.

[Unknown Guest]

That it just made me so happy. It's so, God, it just made me so happy. I, I, I was like on a little cloud the entire time. I. Because it was such an opportunity that you don't get very often to do a, not a do over, but like, get to return to something with people feeling enthusiastic and, you know, it's gonna be completed. You know, it's not a pilot. It was just an incredible opportunity. And I don't know, everything about it was just, it was the most probably fun I've had at work.

[Lauren Graham]

The show ended on a bit of a cliffhanger. Do you. The bigot. I was like, wait, what?

[Unknown Guest]

How are we.

[Lauren Graham]

Wait, do you think that it could ever Come back again.

[Unknown Guest]

I think this is just my theory. I do not know. I'm. This is how much I'm superstitious or in love with the show is like there are questions I could probably get an answer to that I have never asked. Like, I never asked because Amy said from the beginning she knew what the final four words of the show were. She knew from the beginning. And she didn't get to do it in season seven. It had to wait until like she knew that was the. Those were the final words. I never asked her. I didn't even ask her when we were shooting that episode of, of the, of the show. I don't think I asked her until. Because it wasn't in the script.

[Lauren Graham]

Cuz it's what? Mom, I'm pregnant.

[Unknown Guest]

Mom. What? I'm pregnant. And she didn't put it in the script because she didn't want it to leak. So she, she just told us when we kind of got there. And so it did feel like a cliffhanger. I think it was. I think maybe the thought was we would go into another season then. But I have never asked and I don't know.

[Lauren Graham]

Why don't you ask?

[Unknown Guest]

Because I don't know. Because I'm scared. I don't know. I. Because. Because I guess I feel like if that didn't happen, was that like. I don't know. Like, I don't want to know. I don't want to see behind the curtain of like, did they not feel like doing it? Did Netflix not feel like doing it? Did. Did. Were we waiting? What were they waiting on? There's just a little bit of movie magic that I would like to maintain.

[Alex Cooper]

That's fair.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah.

[Lauren Graham]

Do you have your theories of who you think the father is? Are you gonna tell me?

[Unknown Guest]

Well, there are two theories. And. And either one, I'll just speak as a producer type. Now could. Could send the story forward. It could be the wookie who she fools around with in the. In that storyline. It could be Logan. And either way it's juicy.

[Lauren Graham]

Either way it's juicy. Yeah, that's fair because it's some.

[Unknown Guest]

It could be some one night stand. Which then what does that do to her relationship to the guy she's maybe, you know, was gonna go down that path? Or it could be. Could be him.

[Alex Cooper]

This is good tea.

[Lauren Graham]

Okay. You obviously also starred in another one of my favorite shows, Parenthood. I can't tell you how many times I have rewatched that show.

[Unknown Guest]

Really?

[Lauren Graham]

Oh my God.

[Unknown Guest]

Because that's what I was gonna wonder is Is that a rewatch in the way? It's not in the same way, but I don't hear that as much that.

[Lauren Graham]

People rewatch it different. I have to really want a show, and I. That I want to, like, dive into and, like, feel something.

[Unknown Guest]

Yes.

[Lauren Graham]

Like, I can't do that when I'm, like, stressed with work and I'm like, oh, I'm like Gilmore Girls when I. I go through it, like, every few years.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah.

[Lauren Graham]

My mom and I will be like, are you starting it again? I'm starting it again. You're starting it. Oh, well, then I'm gonna start it again. You playing episode one tonight? Okay, I'm playing. And we, like, live on opposite sides of the country, so I'm like, go, go. And then we, like, gush over it, and it's the best. How would you describe your relationship with that cast?

[Unknown Guest]

Well, I mean, varied.

[Lauren Graham]

Oh, right.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah, yeah. And. But predominantly, like, just. It was. It was the most easy filming experience, which you bond to some degree no matter what. But when something's easy and. And. And you just have a lot of time to just sit around and chit chat, like, that's just so fun. How lucky were we that we got to, you know, make this show where it was a very different way of working and it was a much looser kind of way of working, and they each have their merit and they each, like, belong to the kind of show it is. And I just love. I just love everybody truly, and. And, you know, in particular had the fortune of May and Miles being a child of mine adjacent, like, incredible friendships that have. That have lasted. And, you know, my friendship with Dax, I don't see him as much, but, like, there's just some really wonderful people. Every scene was so much fun to do. It was just really fun.

[Lauren Graham]

I was recently with Dax and Kristen, and I was like, dax, can you just give me, like, 20 minutes? Just give me 20 minutes. And Kristen, I apologize. We need to talk about parenthood. He's like, ask me anything.

[Unknown Guest]

Let's go know.

[Lauren Graham]

I'm going one by one. I'm like, tell me this, Tell me.

[Alex Cooper]

Because it's.

[Lauren Graham]

As a fan, that world that was built of that family and the chaos and the beauty and the pain and the fun. Like, you can't help but feel, one, parts of yourself and your own family in it, or two, it really does kind of take you out of your own that you're dealing with. And you're like, oh, this family is insane. I love it. Like, like. But you also want to be A part of it.

[Unknown Guest]

And there was such pride, I'll say, amongst the cast. Everybody in their own family unit really had their own thing and their own kind of language, their own way they did things and. And, you know, so it was easy when we would all get together to have these sort of organic conflicts and, you know, ribbing and kind of fun and, like, it's a really good group.

[Lauren Graham]

Okay. I know this is a little broad, but if you have anything that comes to mind, like looking back at your time on that show, is there any memory or story or moment you can share with us that really sticks with you to this day? When you, like, think back at that.

[Unknown Guest]

Time of your life, I mean, there's. There. There is just a strange thing May Whitman and I have, which is like. It's like we are speaking some twin language. And there were many, many scenes with her almost to the degree that I was like, this must stop. We cannot continue. I'd have a tiny little maybe tear in my eye. She'd be, nope, nope, don't do it. Don't do it. And, like, you know, I think of, like, when we're singing, playing guitar and stuff, and, like, you know, she improvised a line one day where she said. She said, you're my hero. And I'm pretty sure she just, like, came up with that. And, like, it's just a weirdo kind of connection that, you know, we're having right now.

[Lauren Graham]

Oh, my God, we're both about to start crying. If you're listening to this, we both have tears in our eyes. Oh, my. Like, I was wondering, like, how much in parenthood and in Gilmore Girls, are you kind of improvising?

[Unknown Guest]

Certain Gilmore Girls never okay. And parenthood sometimes. And, you know, but. And both just have their merit.

[Alex Cooper]

As women, we are constantly on the move. We're doing so many things. We are juggling life. And if you are going to wear all the hats, Daddy gang, at least have a wardrobe that helps. Check all your boxes. Travis Matthew creates versatile products designed to help you look and feel your best, no matter the activity. From sunrise coffees to school pickups to dinner dates, experience a pant truly made for all day, every day. And no matter where your day goes, you can stay in perfect comfort. In the Cloud collection, you might fall in love, but that's okay. Rewards members receive free shipping and free returns. You guys know I am quite literally all about comfort. Like, I feel like I live my life by being like, am I putting this on? And am I going to be comfortable? That's how I know if I'm putting it on, I must be comfortable. And Travis Matthew hits in the comfort but versatility department. I totally understand you need to have something. Even if you're going to a meeting. Can you wear this and also lounge in it? That is the true master of comfort. Travis Matthew apparel designed for confidence and comfort no matter where the day takes you. Visit travismathew.com and receive 20% off your first order when you sign up for email. That's T R A V I S M A t h e w.com call her daddy is brought to you by Shopify. Now that we are officially out of winter, it is time to go out and it's time to start planning for summer and it's time to side hustle your way into financial freedom.

[Lauren Graham]

Daddy Gang Starting a new business can definitely be scary, but I am a huge advocate for trying out a side hustle and seeing how far it can take you. You never know what a side hustle can turn into.

[Alex Cooper]

I turned my passion for podcasting into a full blown business and I know.

[Lauren Graham]

You all have amazing ideas to turn your ideas into a successful business. If you're going to do that, you need Shopify.

[Alex Cooper]

Shopify is a powerful set of tools and resources that helps you start and manage your business whether it is online or in person. I think financial freedom is so empowering and a side hustle is a great.

[Lauren Graham]

Way to make steps towards towards being your own boss. You don't have to jump into running.

[Alex Cooper]

A business full time right away. It can be as simple as creating an online store and running it off of your phone because with Shopify you can sell anywhere. With a side hustle you control your.

[Lauren Graham]

Own schedule, not someone else. I love being able to run my merch business on the go because my.

[Alex Cooper]

Schedule is so insane that I need.

[Lauren Graham]

Every part of my job to work around my time.

[Alex Cooper]

Entrepreneurship offers the freedom to work when and where you want, designing your day around your passions. So if you're ready to build your own empire, whether it's merch products or the next best idea, get on shopify.comdaddy and make it happen. That is shopify.comdoddy in your early career.

[Lauren Graham]

The press would criticize you for being single and not dating. How did those comments back then affect you?

[Unknown Guest]

Oh God, I mean always feels weird to be asked and many times I was lying because it's such a strange thing to talk about, which I still mainly don't talk about. Like something that you don't know what's going to happen. I think some People are built for it. Some people don't find it personally vulnerable. And it was also. I have to say it. It wasn't my focus at the time. So it felt strange. Like, I'm a working person, and I'm. I'm in a career, and, like. I don't know. This was odd.

[Lauren Graham]

Would you consider yourself a very private person, or would you just consider the career that you're in too public?

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah. Yeah, I think a little bit of both. I also think I have led in some ways, you know, an unconventional, like, certain. There is a age at which most a lot of people do the same thing. There's an age at which a lot of people get married. There's an age at which a lot of people have kids. And then there are people who just are not on that timing. And so I don't know whether to be the spokesperson for that or, like, apologetic about that or, like, I don't know.

[Lauren Graham]

No, I could see that being annoying, because what I. What I appreciate about what I do for a living is I get to sit down with, like, mostly incredible women. I mostly interview women. And something that I talked about recently with. I forget who I was just talking about this with, which was, like, timelines and how we all have something in our head growing up of, like, this is my story. Like, I. And I was always the person that was like, I'm never getting married. I'm never getting married. When I met my now husband, who I just recently got married to, I literally said to him, we will never get married. And he was like, okay, like, chill. And I was like, it's. You can't change my mind. I just want to be really upfront. And then.

[Unknown Guest]

What changed your mind?

[Lauren Graham]

I think because I recognized that when I knew he earnestly meant it, that he would be with me for the rest of his life without us signing a legal document, without me having a physical ring on my finger, all of that. And it was months and months of him never bringing it up. And he would even. He would even say, like, my partner, like this, that I saw the level of respect that he had for what I had initially wanted. And then I went into therapy and reevaluated. Why was I so intent on not wanting to get married? And I would consider myself a very, like, strong, independent woman who I've always been career driven. Like, I'm gonna go for this until the end, and I'm gonna still be working then until someone rips me out of the chair. And I was always worried that, especially as a woman, it would threaten a man. And I didn't think I could do both. And when I started to have a partner that allowed me to do that, I was like, I think it's interesting.

[Unknown Guest]

Because I did not have a timeline, okay? And until, like, the, the I, I. I just didn't have a timeline. I, I think a little bit growing up the way I did with my mom, not, not that mothers give this necessarily to people, but now I'm, like, obsessed with timeline, you know, in a way that I think is really positive because I'm now at an age where I want to be planning what else I would like in my life. I want to be thinking really actively about that. I think I was mainly in relationships where it didn't really occur to me to say, this is what I would like. This is not what I would not like. I thought that happened just organically, and it doesn't always. And I love all the matchmaking shows, Hard Left. And I love them because there's, like, it's, you know, we're all working within a system, right? Like, we're all learning the way a podcast works, the way a TV show works, or what we want to do next, or how you create a show or all that kind of stuff. Everything has a system, including being a person on this planet, including being in a relationship, including being in a career and juggling that with, like, what else you want to do. And I don't know why some fundamental, like, being. I don't know whether it was. I just didn't think that you had to say those things out loud. And I think, like, you're describing the process of the two of you kind of what you did in that, in your relationship is you met over a shared value, and you didn't have it at first, maybe, or you had a different thought about it, and then you grew and changed. And I'm sure he did too. And that's relationship, and that's the one thing you cannot predict when you go in is, are we going to grow and change and have values that keep aligning and, and. And the only way you have that is by talking about it, being open about it, being honest about it. And, you know, I think it's why, again, hard left, why so many housewife shows?

[Lauren Graham]

I love this. I love it.

[Unknown Guest]

Why you see these things, you know, you're watching in sort of real ish time or whatever a degree, we believe it's real. You can see things crumble when people did. People change. People change. And you don't know and you don't know.

[Lauren Graham]

No, that's such a good point of, like, when people are so perplexed by, like, well, how did it not work? And how. And it's like, oh, I think it makes complete sense every time something doesn't work because either one person's not growing with the other, or they're both growing in complete opposite directions, or they're the exact same and life happens and you can, you can't stay the same if you're not like. You know what I mean? It's like, yeah, a pretty sad feeling when things end. But in my opinion, when I look back at previous relationships I had, I was never asking the questions. And then this was the first relationship I actually was like, oh, I think I'm gonna be honest with him and see if he can handle it. Because the men I dated prior to him, I knew I could never say that, right? Because it wouldn't have worked for the men that I was dating. And I think, think I'd be curious to know from you. Like, I struggled a lot of being a woman with a career and really loving my career and being confident in it. And I know a lot of women listening experiences, like, men can be terrified and emasculated and feel like, how can I handle such like, a competent, confident, competent woman? Like, how, how has that impacted you?

[Unknown Guest]

I just, I, I, I tended in the earlier days to, I dated maybe guys who were great but who weren't as in their careers, and I would feel apologetic about that more than, I don't know. So I would maybe tamp my thing down a little bit and not try to com, not compete. But, like, not, I didn't want them to, to feel bad kind of thing. It is, it's really tricky. But I, I will say, you know, like, I, I think I was supportive to one of my sisters when, you know, she was dating her now husband. I was like, ask for this, that, and this, and, and it. It's like the TV show thing. If we all knew how to do it perfectly, every relationship would be perfect because there's also giving something time to grow. And there's also, you know, not, not going in guns blazing. Like, this is what I want. When you haven't established, like, a foundation yet.

[Lauren Graham]

But that's so relatable what you just said of, like, trying to not intimidate the person you're with. And I do feel, and I know this is like, not every statement is just, like, 100, but I bet it's rare that a man is, like, trying to dim his Success to make the woman feel comfortable that she, she's maybe not as high up in her career of who they're together. But you sitting here, I've done it too, where, like, I'm having such success, and the guy that I'm dating, I'm like, oh, my God, he is gonna actually, like, he's not gonna be able to. You just feel it. You know their threshold, and you have to dim yourself down, and you don't come home and say, holy, I had the best day at work. Because they're like, standing there like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Why are you shining so bright? And I'm over here feeling like a piece of.

[Unknown Guest]

Which is another thing that I wouldn't have have thought. Like, I don't feel that way in, in, like, I'm happy for my friend's success and happy for my partner's success and, and, But I get it, I get it if I get it. Especially in your 20s and 30s and maybe even 40s when, like, you're still trying to get to the thing you wanted to get. And it's hard when, you know, you see somebody else shoot ahead and, and you, it's not that you don't want it for them. You want it for yourself. And now I just, I really want to have a good day at work. I'm like, not, I don't have the. Whatever that drive was that I really, really. That put me in all those jobs, and I didn't care. I was gonna kill myself at work until I could get to an audition, until I could get something. Like, I think it's age appropriate not to have that as much anymore. I, I got beyond my wildest dreams. Isn't that incredible that I can say that? I, I, I just thought I was going to be, like, in a regional theater company in Washington, D.C. which still would be a dream. And I got this part that we're here talking about. Like, that is so moving to me that I just kind of want to just enjoy my days now, you know, of, of work. And now I'm, I'm more interested in the creative vision about, of something or, like, you know, I, I'm want to direct my friend's book, then turn it into a movie. Like, it's just, I want to be in partnership. That is in every way, that is fun.

[Lauren Graham]

I think that's an incredible place to get to because I do think like that in a lot of people. We all feel it where you're like, everyone's got that thing individually that you're like, If I get this, I know I work so hard and I deserve it, and I'm going to get it. And then once you get it, then you're like, okay, now what's next? And it's a beautiful thing to keep going and. But it's also. It's a lot because then once you get what you want, you gotta move the needle. And do you ever feel like you're like, when you were in that kind of, like, race with yourself, did you ever feel like, I need to not slow down, but did you ever feel like people were like, you did it, like you accomplished it?

[Unknown Guest]

Like, no, I don't think anyone gives. It gives you that. I think you have to give it to yourself. Like, I remember I was dating some actor and I was in a really busy time. It was maybe like second, third year of Gilmore Girls, where not only were the days really busy, but then weekends and doing talk shows or whatever else was going on at the time. And I was like, I just don't. I'm tired. I don't want to do it. And, and. And his advice was interesting. And we were sort of peers. He was like, don't you kind of have to ride this while it's happening? You can't step off this train because it's hard to get back on. Like, go do the photo shoot you don't feel like doing, you know, like you. Now, is that great advice? I don't know. But was. When something's going you. That is an opportunity, it will come around again, probably. But it. There. It. There are times when you're working harder than you want to and then you. But it's like the relationship thing. You have to keep reevaluating. Does this feel good? I have. My friend Jenny Han has this thing that I always forget what the third one is. It's basically like, am I doing this just for fun? Am I doing this as maybe an act of service or for, you know, as a. Some somebody I want to help out, is it worth it? And that can mean financially. That can mean it's going to help your career. That can mean, you know, but you don't have to just say yes endlessly.

[Lauren Graham]

You know, when you're talking about, like, reevaluating things. Like, I agree. And I think that's great advice for people listening of like, you always have to be like, rechecking in with yourself. And if you are dating or you're in a relationship, what is something that you've realized that you're not willing to compromise on?

[Unknown Guest]

I mean, so many things. It's, it's, it, it is. First of all, I think in the beginning something should be easy. It should not be, I don't know they're going to call like any of that kind of gamesmanship. I think, I think I have a great sense of how I connect to somebody physically, intellectually. Humor. I really love a certain level of like back and forth banter. You know, I love like, I know that. And I think the thing I know now better is also like, how are we going to live this life together? And it's interesting. All my friends my age, some are still married for a long time, some have been in the dating world. The people who are the happiest are doing what they want to do and being really clear up front. Like I, you know, I have a friend who's like, I don't really think I'm going to get married again. I, you know, and I just want to be having fun and out there. And so I just think. And that is a gift of age if you let it be, which is you can just say what you would like and there's no amount of. You can't love somebody into being who you want them to be or you know, wanting this the same things. And I think not to put women in a stereotype, but I, I think it, it's easy to be like if I just. Then he'll. And I, I don't think that works.

[Lauren Graham]

It definitely does it.

[Alex Cooper]

Call her Daddy is brought to you by Better Help Daddy gang. I have talked to you about how therapy has been such a great investment. A big investment, but a great investment. And, and because I know the state of my mind and how I feel about myself is so important to me. Enjoying life in general and being a good person and being a good friend and being a good daughter and being a good wife. That investment has returned to me tenfold. Let's talk numbers. Traditional in person therapy can cost anywhere from a hundred to $250 per session, which adds up fast, but with better help. Online therapy you can save on average up to 50% session with better help. You pay a flat fee for weekly sessions, saving you big on cost and on time. Therapy should be accessible, not like a luxury. With online therapy you can get quality care at a price that makes sense. Your mental health is worth it and now it's within reach. With over 30, 000 therapists, BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform. Having served over 5 million people globally. It is convenient you join a session with the click of a button and boom, you're ready to go. Your well being is worth it. Visit betterhelp.com daddy to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp H-E-L-P.com daddy call her daddy is brought to you by Kleenex Ultra Soft Tissues. When I think about the spring arising, right, I'm like, I need Kleenex tissues more than ever right now. Here's the thing. Matt and I. Matt's got allergies, okay? And when we're outside, I've got those things in my purse ready to go. And I'm not now worried. It is the time of the year the flowers are blooming and the birds are chirping. And also that time when allergies can test you and show up when you leave least expect. But with Kleenex Ultra Soft Tissues, you can be ready to face them whether it's sneezes or watery eyes. You don't want to be caught without a tissue on hand to help. Kleenex Ultra Soft tissues are gentle on eyes and noses. They're for all the moments at home and on the go that allergies can disrupt this allergy season. Be better prepared with Kleenex Ultra Soft Tissues, which is allergist approved so you can go go on with your day. Life and allergies can both be unpredictable, but you can be prepared for that time of year by making sure you always got Kleenex Ultra Soft Tissues ready for whatever happens next. Grab Kleenex.

[Lauren Graham]

We need your advice, people listening. We can use your wisdom. I'm going to give you a scenario and you're going to tell me what advice you would give the person. Okay, what is your advice for someone who feels unfulfilled by their job and wants to make a change but is too nervous to start over?

[Unknown Guest]

Well, is there something besides starting over that can give you fulfillment? That is a project you have that is not dependent on outside validation. I really, as a writer have gotten an incredible amount of satisfaction in just the practice of, of putting these books together. You get better the more you do something, no matter what. No matter what. Like you don't have to be. I just took up tennis this year. I'm terrible, but I practice and I get better. And that is such a basic thing that really because of tennis really became new to me. And the writing is that too. Do I just get better with doing more and so job your 9 to 5 or nobody works 9 to 5 anymore, but your job is one piece of you can it, can it, can you give yourself something else so that, you know, I mean, it's hobbies, it's, you know, travel, it's reading, it's whatever else.

[Lauren Graham]

It's great advice. What would you tell someone who is struggling to connect with their friends because they're all in different levels, life phases.

[Unknown Guest]

I really get that. It's, it, they, they will end. I talked, I've talked about before when I finished Gilmore Girls, and I was like, anybody who's, who's up for dinner? No one. Everybody had children. And while I was gone, like, everybody was in a different life phase. That's what I mean. I have often been out of that step. And I think one thing is you have to meet your friend where they are and like, go over to the house and play with the toddler and like, understand that you, you, you don't, you guys don't have the same hours. But the, the kids eventually go to college.

[Lauren Graham]

I thought you're saying the kids eventually go to sleep. You're like, college. Those are gone now.

[Unknown Guest]

Well, I have like, all my, you know, when I get to go home, my high school girlfriends are like, their kids are gone now. And like, it's, it's almost like it's one of the many, many things I loved about the Bridget Jones movie and books, but this most recent one is like, she's back in the dating scene. Because, you know, she, she, she for happy and sad reasons can be. It's, it's always the same. We're all, you know, it's like you keep meeting the same challenges and, and in life.

[Lauren Graham]

True. Okay. What would you say to someone who feels like they put all of their focus on their career and is now worried that they're falling behind in their dating life?

[Unknown Guest]

I mean, there's really just. No, the only falling behind is in your mind. You know, I used to, I skipped a grade. I was little. And, and for a long time I was like, I have an extra year. There's no such thing. Like, I was like, I have an extra year with. Before I'm the same age as people who are a year ahead of me. Like, it. That's there, There is only what you tell yourself. And, and you know, if you've seen any Nancy Myers movies, you know that there's. People come around at different ages, but it is hard when you're not with your peer group. Yeah.

[Lauren Graham]

Can we talk about the essay that you wrote for time magazine about 8 aging? And you talk about how you found the humor.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah.

[Lauren Graham]

In aging as a Woman, which I thought was such a unique, beautiful. Take that I loved reading. What inspired you to write a piece like that?

[Unknown Guest]

I guess being asked about aging. Like, I'm. I. I was talking about this today with my. With some people. You and I are having this experience. We are having this conversation. We are different ages. Someday when you are my age and you are talking to someone who is now your age, you will not feel the difference as much. I think the younger person feels the difference more than the older person. I am the same person. I. I think it's psychotic, the number of years I have lived on this planet. I'm like, surely that's a miscount. Surely that's wrong. It doesn't. It genuinely does not feel that way. As opposed to when I was 30, I was like, I feel 30. Like, I. I understood 40. This now is like, I just don't accept it. And. And that. That's funny. And the stuff that. Because mainly I'm just living the same life. There are some things where you go, oh, oh, I fell and, you know, broke a thing, and, like, the recovery took a little longer or whatever, so. But I am amazed at the people I know who. Who are giving into a sense of sadness about getting older or not feeling the same way they did. I meet that by. Not in a brutal way, but, like, I fight that. I fight the urge to be like, ugh. I just even don't even, like, when, you know, friends are like, ugh. Well, I'm so old, I can't remember that. You know, whatever. Like, it's. I think it's just also, my mom passed at age 61. Like, I'm not that far away from that. Like, I don't want to be living in. In worry.

[Lauren Graham]

No, I completely agree with what you're saying. And I had a conversation recently with Ellen Pompeo, and she and I were talking a little bit about how women obviously, like, we're the ones that. It's like, oh, she's. She's getting older, and. And then you hit 30, and it's like, oh, right. Oh.

[Unknown Guest]

And you're like, what?

[Lauren Graham]

Like, I've never felt better. And from what I'm taking from. From every woman I keep talking to is holy 40s are the best. Oh, my God. And if you had told me that in 20, I would have been like, wait, 40s old and what? But it's like, every person I'm talking to, it feels like women are just getting better with age, and it's what society is freaking women out about. Of like how you look. Because of course, that's the only thing they think that we care about is our looks. And it's like, h. What do you think is the best part of getting older?

[Unknown Guest]

I wrote this in another essay, which is I know what I want and I'm grateful for what I have. That is the best thing about it to me. And the fun. You can make it fun if you plan what's next as much as you can, you think about so that it doesn't. Because I think the, you know, I. I went to the theater on Sunday here in Los Angeles, which is unusual, and 90% of the audience was older, like, way much, much older, which you don't see in la, and I just found it fascinating. Like. Like, what is that going to be? Like, I, I like to think about that. I like to plan for that. I like to imagine what kind of. That's a stylish LA, perhaps 70s. Like, what do. How do I want to approach that so that I'm not scared by it, I'm not freaked out by it, and I'm not depressed because it truly is all the things people say of, like, you should be so lucky to be in all those places. And. Yeah. And the how you look thing is, like, I don't know.

[Lauren Graham]

It's so tired.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah.

[Lauren Graham]

Like, it's. How do you think men and women handle aging differently?

[Unknown Guest]

I've actually heard from. I think it's a vulnerable thing for guys, too. And there is, like, popular opinion would say they have it easier, but I think it's. It's. If you identified as a beauty of either man or woman, as, As a younger person, I think it's. The loss might be greater. Like, my mom was a stunningly beautiful person who literally turned heads on the street. I did not grow up with that. I'm not saying whatever. I, I just didn't have that identity. That was not my thing. So it's not. Still. Still not my thing. Like, it's not. I don't feel the loss of, like, that being treated that way. And even in relationship, I never, like, met someone across a crowded room. I was friends with them or I worked with them, or I. It was organic. Like, like, it was just. I, you know, would fall for the person and they would fall for me. And so I think that makes it a little bit easier.

[Lauren Graham]

Yeah. Why I wanted to bring this whole conversation, though, up about aging and the different generations is obviously because of your new show. I think there's this, like, huge conversation obviously about, like, Gen Z, and it's like an interesting. It's interesting, like, even just like us talking about you even saying, like, we're a different age. Like, you take on the Z Suite. Like, what drew you to this role? Because this is different.

[Unknown Guest]

I'm so. It's different. That's the. That was one of the main things I like. I liked that this. First of all, it's comedy. I really. This is how I would like to spend my days now. I feel that I cannot touch the beauty that is Gilmore Girls. I really love that. That dramedy Parenthood space. I did start in half hour, and it was so fun to just do something that was a little more big and. And look at female bosses because it's a trope of a kind. And, like, that was there. But I was also like, this is so relatable to anybody when the thing you have worked for is taken away, whether it was your fault or somebody else is coming up behind you or, like, you know, or somebody's better at it. That is just evolution. That's just being a human on this planet. Like, nothing lasts forever. And. And so. And then I love the showrunner, you know. Now, again, like I said, it's putting all the pieces together. I'm not just responding to the part. I'm responding to do. What's this experience going to be? Do I get to have a say in creative conversation and like. And also that it was, you know, we're the first scripted programming for. To be original scripted programming. And I was like, that's fun. And I just want to say, probably the kids know, but people still say to me, oh, I can't have another subscription. It's free. You just download it. You, you know, put your email in if you want to save stuff. But it's so easy, the interface and it's. And it's. It's very. It doesn't cost you anything.

[Lauren Graham]

I love that you're talking also about the character of, like, being good at something but then questioning if you're good at it because if you're getting replaced or what's happened, like, that's like, again, a conversation that. One, I love the point of a woman being at the top because we still don't see that that often. Still. How crazy. And two, though, like, like being pushed out in a moment where you're probably also feeling like you're at your best. Like, right when I feel like you're starting to hit your stride is when they want to then replace the women with a younger woman.

[Unknown Guest]

Yes.

[Lauren Graham]

Which is such a crazy Concept. Because you're like, wait, No, I. I just had to get. Wait. How am I already not in the conversation anymore? It.

[Unknown Guest]

Endlessly. And it's not just women. It's. We are. We are not to be real esoteric. We will be replaced. You and I will not be here forever.

[Lauren Graham]

Bye.

[Unknown Guest]

And that's how it goes. And so that's true in work, in life. I remember I did a pilot that didn't get picked up, and one of the younger cast was like. She was like, so is this gonna get picked up? And I was like, oh, I have no idea. You know, and she's like, what do you mean, they don't tell you? And I'm like, no, they don't know. Nobody knows. And no, nobody tells me. And she's like. So she. You could see her, like, things. She was like, so this just keeps happening over and over where, like, you do something and then you see if it goes. And then, you know, you don't know how that's going to turn out. And I was like, yeah, like, you don't. You don't get to a place where it's just a slam dunk in. In life, in, you know, relationship, in work.

[Lauren Graham]

What do you hope people take away from the show?

[Unknown Guest]

Honestly, I just hope they have a good time. I mean, I've seen it. It is truly makes fun of everybody. No one is woke or doing a great job. That's, to me, a fun comedy if everyone's silly. And I think there's something there that we haven't, you know, that. That does sort of. That is in the zeitgeist of like, do kids know? Not kids, but I call them the kids on the show. I'm sure they're so irritating. I'm like, where are the kids? Are the kids coming to lunch? They're all like, you know, 29 years old, but so, you know, there. There's something there because it. We're living in various kinds of times, but on the one hand, a really expressive time where, you know, people can bring themselves to work, at least they do here. And like, I. This character does not understand what language they're speaking. And I just think that's relatable. No.

[Lauren Graham]

Lauren, thank you so much for coming on. This was a pleasure sitting down with you. You're so incredible. You. Your life is so inspiring and everything you've done. And I feel like whenever I get to sit down with someone that I have admired and been inspired by, and I get to watch and then I get to, like, get to know them as like a real human being. It is why I do my job. Like this is so fun for me and I just thank you for taking the time because I know you're a busy woman.

[Unknown Guest]

Thank you. And I love this conversation and I, I just loved being asked these questions and being included in whatever this journey is going to be for you. So congratulations and thank you for inviting me.

[Alex Cooper]

Thanks to lieb by Yves St. Laurent for sponsoring today's episode. Make a statement with with Lieb L'nu, the fragrance that sets you apart. Shop now at Sephora. Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Tinder. We've all been there. You see a cutie, you want to shoot your shot and your brain, it just shuts down. That is why Tinder dropped a new AI powered feature to practice thinking on your feet. Here's how it works. You'll face different flirty situations, drop your best lines and AI will rate your game. Not in a brutal way, just a chance to see what works, tweak your approach and level up your flirting skills. Unlike other AI texting tools, this is an actual game, way more fun and interactive. Flirt fumble, repeat. Try it now on Tinder and see if you've actually got game or if you need a little help. Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Vivrel. Vivrel gives members exclusive access to a designer closet so you can elevate your every day. You guys have seen this online. You guys, you guys have seen the girlies with these cute bags and one day they've got it and the next they send it back and they get another one. Virel is a memberships only club to borrow designer and luxury accessories. Members can treat the Virel closet like their own, borrowing anything within their tier. Vivrel has no return dates. Swap items monthly or keep items as long as you like. This is a great, great idea. If you're going on a trip, you need a cute outfit.

[Lauren Graham]

Boom.

[Alex Cooper]

Hit up Vivrell. Use code Call her her Daddy to get to the top of the Vivrel wait list and 30% off your first four months of membership. Code Call Her Daddy. Hurry up ladies. Have you ever had the best first date?

[Unknown Guest]

And then all of a sudden everything.

[Alex Cooper]

Takes a turn for the worst. The director of Happy Death Day brings you a perfect date night thriller called Drop, which hits theaters April 11th. A woman going on her first date begins to get mysterious, unwanted dropped messages from an unknown sender from the producers of Meghan and producers of A Quiet Place. Audiences will be on the edge of their seats. Don't Miss Drop, hitting theaters on April11th.