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Nelly Furtado: Embracing the Single Life
00:58:37
Join Alex in the studio for an interview with Nelly Furtado. Nelly opens up about her recent, painful breakup and shares how she’s having more fun being single and dating than she ever did in her past. She also reminisces on what inspired her most iconic songs and gives her take on break up sex, the importance of confidence, and what she calls “flingationships.” Enjoy!
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- [00:00]
Alex Cooper
Daddy Gang, holiday shopping season is officially here and it can feel so overwhelming trying to find the right gifts for everyone on your list. So here is some advice. Don't overthink it. Just go to Sephora. Here is what I want you guys to think about. Every time you're stressing getting someone a gift, it's like, okay, does someone on your list have a face? I am guessing yes. Gift them makeup. Okay. Do they have skin? Yes. Quality skincare products are always a hit. Do they have a nose? Grab the best fragrance. The best in makeup, makeup, skincare, hair care, and fragrance are always at Sephora, not to mention exclusive gift sets, too. So this holiday, don't overthink it. Give something beautiful from Sephora.
- [00:45]
Nelly Furtado
What is up, Daddy Gang?
- [00:46]
Alex Cooper
It is your founding father, Alex Cooper.
- [00:49]
Nelly Furtado
With Call Her Daddy. Nelly Furtado. Welcome to Call Her Daddy.
- [00:55]
Hi.
- [00:56]
I am so happy we are finally doing this. I'm the biggest fan. Thank you for coming today.
- [01:00]
Oh, my gosh. I'm. This is so fun. So I've only been here a few minutes. I'm having so much fun.
- [01:04]
I'm having so much fun. We have to tell the Daddy Gang. Who are my audience? First of all, Daddy Gang. Nelly's daughter is Daddy Gang. Can you tell me what did she say when she found out that you were coming and call her Daddy?
- [01:16]
Well, she's been wanting me to come on the show forever. She's been talking about it since, like, we started making music for this album, some of it together. And. And I was like, yeah. I mean, I love that. It would be great. Like, your show's amazing. You're amazing. Love your energy. So she's thrilled. She's like, right on. And then I was like, oh, okay, you can come help me with that. So, yeah, her friend are here today. They're excited. She'd almost stayed in the room, but I was like, I'm just going to be, like, looking at her the whole time. So she's in the other room.
- [01:41]
It's so fun to have you here, and it's so cool to, like, know that your daughter is Daddy Gang. Meanwhile, I'm the biggest fan of you. So it's all coming full circle. You've had such an incredible career. Obviously, you've been in the spotlight. You've also made decisions to step out of it at times. Like, when are you at your happiest?
- [02:00]
Oh, wow. In general, in life?
- [02:01]
Yeah.
- [02:02]
Oh, my God. Probably when I'm, like, at the park with my children, just kind of, like, pushing them on a swing. Or something.
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Or.
- [02:09]
But then I'm also quite happy when I am kind of waving my freak flag at a concert and singing on my concert on stage. Because it's also my other chance to really be myself. Like, I do feel very myself when I'm on stage. Like, I'm like, this is my chance to just be as weird as I want to be. I fit in when I'm on stage. Right.
- [02:30]
I think, though, that's like a relatable, somewhat relatable idea of, like, we have these two sides to ourselves. Like, no one is just one dimensional. Right.
- [02:39]
Not at all. And that is like key. That is like, aha. Yes.
- [02:43]
Would you say you're able to have somewhat of a normal life? Like, if you're at the park? Are you at the park as like, mom, Nelly, or like, do people, like, come up to you and are you.
- [02:54]
No, I am very good. I'm very chameleonic. Like, not only in my music, but, like, in the way I look. So I can be. I like, you wouldn't. You wouldn't recognize me. I mean, sometimes I don't care. Like, sometimes a little. It depends what mood you're in. Right.
- [03:07]
So true. Like, sometimes you're like, let's be social. And other times you're like, yeah, but.
- [03:11]
Usually if I'm around my kids, like, I'm not really. Yeah, I'm pretty. I don't really want to kind of. I get engage in that way.
- [03:16]
Okay, I have to know because this is caller daddy. What is the difference in your opinion, dating Canadian men versus American men?
- [03:25]
This is such a good question. Now we're getting the juicy bits. Just so you all my friends know this about me. I love love. It's my favorite topic. I try to set people up all the time. Poorly. I don't have a very good success rate, so they kind of roll their eyeballs at me. Little cupid. But I do love American men. I do. But I've found some interesting Canadians along the way.
- [03:44]
You have? I was gonna say, like, if you.
- [03:47]
Had to say some high quality. Yeah.
- [03:50]
What is your type?
- [03:51]
My type? Ooh, it's changing.
- [03:55]
Okay.
- [03:55]
Yeah, my type is changing. Yeah.
- [03:57]
Talk to me about it.
- [03:58]
Well, I'm in my 40s now, so I'm about. I'm 45. I'll be 46 soon, which is. Whoa, love. And it's like a new beginning for me. It's like a very fun time in my life because I didn't really get to be single in my 20s. Right. I was pretty, like, locked down in relationships, like from the time. Not locked down in a negative way, but just like, you know, I was in long term relationships for much of my 20s and 30s. So only recently, I think in the last few years I've become single again. And so it's so fun dating. I love it.
- [04:32]
You do?
- [04:32]
I do love it.
- [04:33]
Wait.
- [04:34]
Because it's on my watch when I feel like it, right?
- [04:37]
You're like, on my terms. On my terms, boy.
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And it's like when you come correct. You know what I mean?
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Alex Cooper
Yeah.
- [04:42]
Nelly Furtado
So now my type is like, come correct. You know, they ask me out on a date or for dinner or just like, it's all, it's all in the way, you know the words, you know, use the sort of. Yeah, I like confidence. I adore confidence.
- [04:57]
Not you saying come correct boys come correct men. I'm obsessed. That's a great attitude to have because I know I have a lot of single girls listening and it's like, I think a lot of people want to have that like excitement towards dating.
- [05:11]
Yes. But you have to enjoy being single authentically. You can't just say, oh, yeah, I'm out here, I'm having fun. No, if you, if you're looking for a relationship for real, then be authentic about that. But if that's not what you're looking for, ask yourself, what do you want? You know, and if you want to just have fun and see what's out there and that's fine too.
- [05:31]
True. You just have to know what you want.
- [05:33]
But be real with it.
- [05:33]
Yeah, we're going to talk so much more dating. First, I have to acknowledge there is another very famous musician that obviously is from Canada who you actually performed with. Can you please explain how you ended up singing I'm Like a Bird with Drake?
- [05:50]
Oh, my God, Drake. Yes. We go way back. Actually. He just asked me to come sing again a couple nights ago on Saturday night. He's like, he asked me at 11pm to show up at 1am and I love him to death. But I was like, I am not showing up without glam.
- [06:06]
I thought you were going to say like, I'm asleep. Like, bitch, get me glam. Then maybe I'll roll up.
- [06:11]
I was up. Okay, I was up, but I was like, it was an event. It was like this really fun event in Toronto. And I was like, no, I can't show up without glam. Because of course, you know, he's so famous. It'll be everywhere.
- [06:23]
You're like, I want to have my beat on. Okay? I want to make sure I look.
- [06:29]
Fit outfit right.
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Like, you got to come snatch to the gods with the lashes and the beat. You're like, babe, give me five hours. Yeah, I know. Oh, my God. So you just didn't go?
- [06:39]
No, I could. I couldn't make it that time. But, you know, I'm obsessed. But anyways, yeah, I do. I do love him a lot. He's a great guy. And I think that. I mean, he's done a lot for the music industry. You know, Toronto is a secret for a long time. A secret that I loved as well, growing up there and making music there in my teens, my early 20s. But now it's just so nice. He kind of really put Toronto on a map in a different kind of way in Canada in general. But anyways, yeah, that's how that went down.
- [07:02]
The fact that you can be like Drake. Like, I don't have my makeup tonight. Like, I'll pass on this one. Like, oh, my God. So baller.
- [07:09]
I know. I kind of wish I did, though, because I saw a video and he looked pretty cute. He had a yellow track suit or something and he looked good.
- [07:16]
Yeah, Shout out, Drake.
- [07:17]
But then I'm like, what would I have worn pink? Because it would have been all videos of yellow. And then, you know, like, look, I love it.
- [07:23]
I love that you think of all this stuff.
- [07:24]
That's what. That's what performers do. We always think about what things. Like pop. Especially in pop music, you think about what things look like too.
- [07:31]
I want to talk before you were a performer because, like, it is such a glamorous life and we get to talk about, like, the outfits and the fashion and all of it. But before you were famous, you worked as a housekeeper in a motel?
- [07:42]
Yes, a chambermaid.
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Was that your first job?
- [07:45]
Well, that's a good question. My very first job was actually. It was the same year I did, like, I would jump over the fence at my childhood home, and I would do filing for, like, a home inspection company. So I would. But I would. It was long hours, but it was helpful, I think, to just sit there and organize. And then I got a job at the motel. It was called the Robin Hood Motel. Yes. And my mom worked there, my sister, my aunt, my cousin. My mom ran the housekeeping department. She was like the head honcho there. And so she hired me. And I would every morning just show up. I mean, harder in the teen years when you're out the night before and then you get there at 6am and I'm like, where's the coffee Right.
- [08:26]
Are you like, hello? Yeah.
- [08:28]
And my brother was gardening there at the time too, so we'd be like Saturday mornings, like, okay. But it was such a good experience because I worked there for probably 10 summers straight.
- [08:38]
Wow.
- [08:39]
I even worked there one summer when I thought, like, after I graduated high school and I went to Toronto and thought I was going to be famous in two months. But reality, you know, like, that's not how it works. Your goals take a while to achieve. Move back home, work there again. That year when I was going to college in my hometown of Victoria.
- [08:57]
Oh, my God.
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And that was the year I was like, oh, I wonder if my dreams will come true, you know? But growing up doing that was good because the work ethic, because when you get into this industry. Woo. The hours can be long when you're starting out. It's a lot of hustling.
- [09:09]
I wanted to talk about that, though, because the juxtaposition of, like, being someone that is hardworking, working with your family, and then you get famous, and I think everyone in the world now kind of has an understanding, at least of, like, when you get famous, people start treating the famous person differently. Right. Is there a moment that comes to mind when you really started to notice, like, whoa, people are just treating me nice because I have all these things and I am famous now?
- [09:35]
That's an interesting question. I think for me in particular, my parents come from these, like, really, really, like, working class roots. Like, my parents are from the Azores Islands and a tiny. From a tiny island called San Miguel. Like, from a tiny village, you know, farmers, you know, like, just. They were already, like, picking beans and, like, carrying their water from, you know, the main water fountain to home. Like when they were like, 10 or 11, you know what I mean? They're already working at the farm by the time they're 12. And so that's my. That's where I come from. So you really can't get bougie on people when you come from those. You get canceled in your family. You can get canceled, right? So you can. You can't even go there. Like, I have no business, like, acting like I'm better than anyone, because I know I'm not, you know, because I go and I'm humbled.
- [10:26]
I think that's so fun to hear, though, because obviously, like, I didn't know that, but hearing that immediately, it does paint a better picture of, like, how you are so normal and, like, even talking to your daughter, like, before you came in here. No, you're like, I need to start being Bougie, I need an air. But it's. It's interesting even talking to your daughter, how she was like, I grew up with, like, a very normal life because she had stepped kind of out of the spotlight and now all the resurgence of everything and you coming out with this album and, you know, TikTok and everything. She's like, now I'm seeing my mom out there being like, oh, like, oh, my God, that's Nelly Furtado. But it's cool to see that, like, you've been able to live a pretty normal life while also having this super stardom on the other side of your life, if that makes sense.
- [11:08]
You know what's really funny? Sorry. I have a story in my mind because she said, I remember, you know, be careful what you wish for, right? Because she's like, oh, mom, yeah, you should start working again. And then a year later, she's like, why are your hair appointments five hours long and your nail appointments are three hours? Like, like, you've kind of become a diva. And I'm laughing like, well, but, you.
- [11:28]
Know, this is my job. You're like, sweetie, you know, Mom, Nelly, now you're about to meet Nelly Furtado, the superstar. She said, what do you mean you.
- [11:36]
Can'T pick me up at the airporting room? I'm sorry. My hair appointment went over. She was sorry. She was livid.
- [11:41]
I'm obsessed.
- [11:43]
Alex Cooper
Oh, my God.
- [11:43]
Nelly Furtado
It's like, well, you want a mom to be back at work here? I'm doing my thing.
- [11:47]
I'm back to work, babe.
- [11:48]
It's what it takes. Yeah.
- [11:49]
That is amazing. She's like, God damn it.
- [12:07]
Alex Cooper
Daddy gang. Holiday shopping season is officially here, and it can feel so overwhelming trying to find the right gifts for everyone on your list. So here is some advice. Don't overthink it. Just go to Sephora. Here is what I want you guys to think about. Every time you're stressing getting someone a gift, it's like, okay, does someone on your list have a face? I am guessing yes. Gift them makeup. Okay. Do they have skin? Yes. Quality skincare products are always a hit. Do they have a nose? Grab the best fragrance. The best in makeup. Skincare, hair care and fragrance are always at Sephora, not to mention exclusive gift sets, too. So this holiday, don't overthink it. Give something beautiful from Sephora. Okay, Daddy gang. I love workout clothes. Okay? Sometimes I love to put a workout clothing on, even if I'm not going to work out, right? Sometimes I just want to look cute in a little Matching set. And if you're sick and tired of traditional old workout gear, you need to check out Viori. Viori products are designed for you to work out in, but also they look great in everyday life outside of the gym. Viori makes super comfy and versatile apparel that can be used for running, training, yoga, or even just lounging around. You guys know I love a good jogger. You need to check out the performance jogger, part of Yori's Dream knit collection. The performance jogger is great for stretching and again, maybe you just want to lounge in these things.
- [13:29]
Nelly Furtado
All right.
- [13:30]
Alex Cooper
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- [14:27]
Nelly Furtado
I read that magazines used to edit your photos by lightening your skin and changing your body.
- [14:32]
Oh, yeah.
- [14:33]
How did that affect you back then?
- [14:34]
It's so funny because that's. It's fun. I always find it interesting what people cling to in stories. So I did a real, like a general interview about with my daughter for people. But then that became a thing like, oh, this is this story. But then I realized, oh, I get it. It's like I wrote a song about it in 2003. I think it was my second album. And yeah, it kind of. It's called Powerless. And it's like, paint my face in your magazines. Make it look lighter than it seems. Paint me over with your dreams. Like, shove away my ethnicity. So at the time, it's more about the idea of, okay, wait, I'm in this business. Like when you're young and you're 22, 23, it's like, it's a whirlwind, right? Like all of a sudden becoming successful at the career you always dreamed of. And you know, if you're in it for the music like I always was, I think that all that other stuff with the visuals and the aesthetics and the. Oh, wow, they like you and you look great on the red carpet. And. But then the opposite is true as well. And just kind of questioning it all, but it is true. Yeah. I bring my own clothes to photo shoots because I was like a girl. Like, I was 21, 22, young girl. But, yeah, you'd see at the time, I think, yeah, the beauty standard was a bit different. So I think that they would Photoshop a lot and just kind of like, oh, I thought I had hips, or my little. But. But it's. It's hard anyways, because when you see yourself on TV for the first time, you know, you always look different on the camera, and it can be a little jarring, like, to be on TV and in the spotlight that much at a young. At a young age, I guess.
- [16:02]
So when you look back, like. Because obviously, like, I think it's helpful, like, I get what you're saying. You're like, wait, I did such a long interview and that's the one thing people picked up on, I think.
- [16:12]
No, I know.
- [16:13]
No, but. But I think it's. I get what you're saying. It's like that. I think for a lot of people now pick up on things because people finally do feel more comfortable to talk about things that were kind of like, hey, that was kind of a weird decision. Like, am I not good enough as me?
- [16:27]
Like, yes.
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When do you.
- [16:29]
Oh, my God.
- [16:29]
When you look back, like, when did you feel your most confident when you were younger?
- [16:34]
You know what's so funny? I feel the most confident now.
- [16:37]
What do you think that is?
- [16:39]
100%. Wow. It's now. I don't know. Something happened. I don't know. I just had, like, I had the 40s glow up. I was just like, wow, I just feel like me, you know? I feel like I know what happened. I had time to work on my inner life, you know, I had time to work on the things you don't have time to do when you're busy. Right. And then you, you know, when you're burnt out and you don't get to journal, you don't get to, you know, go to therapy. You don't get to go do those things. But I had. I had a good time of three or four years of doing that. So I think by the time I got to this stage of my life, yeah, I just feel super happy with myself even when I get criticized. You know what I mean? Like, I, like, even. I mean, who doesn't read the comments sometimes, right? It's hard not to I think it's human nature to go, oh, what are people saying?
- [17:31]
Of course.
- [17:31]
And then you're like, wow, certain things, right? Like, I feel like. Me personally, I've experienced, like, my body's polarizing. You know what I mean? Which is so. It's crazy to say that, but it is, because I see, like, oh, wow. Why did. It's just like, wow. There's a lot of, like, comments and people arguing about, like, what I look like or, like, you know what I mean? It's so interesting what fuels and triggers people. But I think at the end of the day, it can be really positive because you're starting conversations, and that comes from confidence, and I think that's what it is. It's like when you. When you are confident. I don't know what it is, but I guess sometimes it could be threatening or very empowering.
- [18:10]
I think sometimes, yes. Like, people online are, like, so triggered by certain things, which is interesting because you never know what's going to trip people up. And the fact that you're saying, like, my body is so polarizing, like, why do you think that's been?
- [18:23]
Well, first of all, my body's changed a lot. I've had three kids. I'm curvy, you know, and I have a curvy body. And, like, my. If you go to, like, where I'm. Where my parents are from, from San Miguel, my body's no big deal. Like, everybody. Every girl on the beach has the same bum that I have. But, like, it's like, I love it. It's true, though. So it's all context, and just maybe they're comparing you to another era when maybe you looked different or anything like that. But I've had fun with it because I've been wearing very bodycon clothing, and it's very empowering, and I just kind of. I love. I love feeling this confident, you know, I. I literally didn't even wear underwear on stage till, like, a year ago.
- [19:04]
I'm obsessed. Not even.
- [19:05]
It's only been six months. I only let the booty out, like, six months ago. I'm upset.
- [19:10]
Nelly, I appreciate you talking about 25.
- [19:12]
Years into my career.
- [19:13]
I love it. I love that you're talking about that, though, because I do feel like people tell you, like, oh, my God, your 20s are going to be the best years of your life. And as much as those are really fun years, I do think the amount of women that I get to speak to, it is very inspiring to hear. Like, no, it actually only gets better because you do get to know when you're young and you're 20, as fun as you can have. You don't fully know yourself yet. You haven't fully lived enough to really, like, know what makes you happy, what makes you sad, what makes you, like, uncomfortable. And it feels like I've now had enough conversations with these, like, really inspiring women to be like, oh, it only gets better. Like, get ready. Like, get ready for your 30s. Get ready for your 40s. Get ready for your 50s. Like, that's really exciting.
- [19:54]
Yeah. Because you learn, you know yourself, and then you can kind of look back and not laugh at yourself, but find things charming. Like, oh, wow. Like Even in my 30s seems like a lifetime ago.
- [20:03]
Right.
- [20:03]
You know what I mean?
- [20:04]
But each decade is so beautiful. But I kind of feel like as women, like, we just get more confident. And when you can block out the noise of all the comments that are negative, it's like, oh, yeah, bitch, my booty looks amazing. By like, get out of here.
- [20:17]
When I was 37, I had like a flingation ship. I just coined this term.
- [20:21]
Wait, sorry, what?
- [20:22]
Flingationship is like a fling relationship. So flingationship of love with someone who was 23. And at the time it was just like. It wasn't that big a deal, but like I had was contextualizing it in my mind, like, oh, that's so interesting because your perspective continues to change as you get older and you reflect on different things in your life differently. Like, my new album just came out, but I was listening to the one before it, not this one. So it's like a diary so you can go back and go. And so for me, music is a diary. So it's kind of fun. It makes it fun.
- [20:53]
Let's talk about some of your iconic songs.
- [20:55]
Yeah. Song.
- [20:56]
Okay, first I just want to discuss. I'm Like a Bird is such a classic. What inspired that song?
- [21:02]
I'm Like a Bird was inspired by. I was in a relationship in my very early twenties. Right. It was kind of like a first relationship kind of first kind of more like very serious relationship after my long, sort of long term high school boyfriend. It was the next relationship after that. And yeah, I was in a relationship and I was out in Los Angeles finishing my album, kind of on my own. I was very isolated. I was probably 20. I was 20 or 21 or something out there kind of in this little apartment just working on music. And my collaborators were kind of older than me and they had their girlfriends and their wives out there, but not me. So it was a bit Lonely. And they're like, okay, write some new songs, you know, and bring them into the studio. I think it was our first day working in la, trying to finish my album after having made the rest of it in Canada. And I was sitting on a sofa at the time, this place was called the Oakwood Suites here in la. And you'd go to the gym and you'd see, like. I don't know, like, kids, I guess, who are doing. I don't know if they're working with Disney or what they're working, but, you know, it was the place that people went to make their dreams come true, where they would stay when they weren't yet living in la. So I sat on a sofa and picked up my guitar and I wrote three songs that day. And. And the third one I wrote was I'm Like a Bird. And I'm telling you, the one I wrote before was trash. It was a really bad song, really corny, not good. And, you know. Yeah, you. You never know. You might just be on the edge of something good, you know?
- [22:40]
Do you remember, like, the. When you played it for everyone, like, on your team?
- [22:44]
Like, was everyone, like, my manager was at the studio. Yeah, my manager Chris was at the studio. And. And. And he's like, oh, okay, I want to hear what you wrote today. So I played him the three songs, and I was convinced the corny one was good. Oh, it was really bad. I can. I can sing it.
- [23:01]
Wait, please sing it for me.
- [23:03]
It's really crazy.
- [23:05]
No, but anyways, so how corny are we talking?
- [23:09]
All right, so this is the one that I thought was better than I'm Like a Bird. Okay, it goes. Okay, wait. It's like he was cocksure and I was a pussy hiding in the corner. I couldn't come out. He was cocksure and I was a pussy hiding in the corner. I couldn't come come out. And I think the end was like, here, kitty, kitty. Like, I swear to God, I'm not even kidding. I thought that was better than I'm Like a Bird, which I then was the third song on the. The demo that I had made that morning.
- [23:40]
Nelly. No.
- [23:43]
And my manager said, I don't know. Yeah, okay. I think. I think the bird one's really good. They both had bird themes. One was Cocksure's like a rooster. Sorry, I am literally, like, a little zany.
- [23:57]
No. This is, like, the best thing I've heard all day to know that it was between, like, a cock and a pussy versus a bird.
- [24:03]
Yeah.
- [24:04]
Oh, my God. Watch that literally trend on TikTok now, and people are gonna cup that.
- [24:09]
Isn't it funny, though? Because I actually forgot about that till, like, like a couple months ago. And I was like, whoa, that's crazy. That I'd written a very horrible song and a song that might be quite good right after.
- [24:19]
I mean, I'm like a bird.
- [24:21]
Is.
- [24:21]
I feel like forever going to be iconic. I'm curious because that song is so inspiring, right? Have you ever walked away from someone that you felt like was holding you back, like, in a romantic relationship?
- [24:34]
Well, that song was about that. So that song, I did. I did want to. I did want to break up, you know, with that guy. So. So I kind of wrote the song.
- [24:42]
Oh, my God. Did you write the song and then break up with it?
- [24:44]
Well, I sent it to him, and he. And he. And he said, hey, I feel like I heard the song. Like, what's up, Nelly? Yeah, I did. Yeah.
- [24:57]
So you. No context. You just sent him the song?
- [25:00]
Well, I was like, oh, this is my latest thing. Yeah, no, but, no, I think I ended up that. I ended that relationship on tour, but it was literally. It wasn't very. It was like, from a payphone, you know, on tour. Like, I was with my band, you know, like, it was one of those moments, but it's very normal. It's kind of like, you know, your college boyfriend or something, you know, and then you move on. So that was my college, just, like, making music and touring. So I only did one year of college, so then I met him around that time, so I had to make my dreams come true.
- [25:30]
You had to.
- [25:31]
I had things to do and places to be, so.
- [25:34]
But, like, not like a bat. As sad as it is to get broken up with, for him, it is kind of iconic that there is a man out there that can be like, that song is about me. Like, that is pretty fucking cool. I'm sorry. Like, I would take that song being written about me. Icon. Icon. Historically, are you usually the one ending relationships or are you.
- [25:53]
Oh, I like this question. I've been dumped before. Okay. Yeah, only once.
- [25:59]
Oh, yeah.
- [26:01]
It is a flex. No, that's not true. Two or three times, but more like when I was younger. But. But, yeah, like, I being. Having your heart actually broken by someone that doesn't want to be with you anymore really hurts really badly.
- [26:13]
So sad.
- [26:13]
Yeah, it's really, really upsetting. And I hadn't experienced that till, like, much later in life, till quite recently in the last five years. And that was really hard for me because I wanted to hang on. I wanted to hang on, and I didn't get it. And I built up a lot of expectations and things based on things that maybe were more about me and selfishness. Right. And then it was like, okay, like, when do I come to grips with reality? But I've also left. Yes. I've been the ender, breaker, upper. Yeah.
- [26:39]
Do you think it's easier to be the person breaking up or getting broken up with?
- [26:45]
Oh, my God. It's hard. It's easier to break up with someone than to have somebody dump you. Being dumped is the worst.
- [26:55]
It is pretty hard, I think.
- [26:56]
No, no, no. It's the best, though, because they grow. Because then you go. It's that whole thing like, you gotta hit dirt, man.
- [27:03]
You gotta hit.
- [27:04]
Gotta hit rock bottom. I have hit rock bottom before. And it's a. It's beautiful because then I just come out so strong.
- [27:11]
Right.
- [27:12]
And it's good. And I'm not saying it's like perfect. And I'm like, oh, you know, we wear our wounds, don't we? Yeah, like our wounds never really go away. I don't think we can work on them. You know what I mean? We can work on them, but, like, it's okay. You know, you have stuff to deal with, stuff to work through. But yeah, I think it could be a good place at the bottom of, like, oh, you know what I go back to a lot. He's just not that into you. Just look up if you're ever struggling with somebody who's broken up with you or somebody, even anybody, a flingation ship, something like that, and you feel they're not giving you the attention you want and something's off. Just like, go look up quotes from, he's just not that into you. It is so healing.
- [27:55]
Because that often.
- [27:56]
I've done it before, I think twice in my life where I'm like, oh, humbling. It's good. It's good stuff. Me too. Yeah.
- [28:08]
I'm obsessed with you. You're like, yeah, it's great stuff. It really just knocks you back to reality.
- [28:13]
Yeah. Because it's that whole if he wanted to, he would thing, Right?
- [28:15]
Absolutely.
- [28:16]
It's so true. It is true. We're girls. If we wanted to, we would. Right?
- [28:21]
Done. Okay. One of my personal favorite songs of yours is Maneater. How would you describe the woman you're singing about, essentially?
- [28:31]
This is so interesting. So I really did kind of base that off of a woman that was friends with at the time, that was like a colleague, was, like, engaged to her and she was a knockout and just really was. Did personify that man eater energy. And what at the time. What I really, really felt at the time when I was making that whole album with Timbaland and when we were making Maneater, is I did feel very. I was actually only about 26 or something when I wrote that song, but I felt like there's something really empowering about masculine and feminine energy together. You know what I mean? When somebody embodies both. And I was trying to capture that in a song. And I really feel that when I play it live, it feels primal. It feels like it's for everyone. It's like. It's like almost like a verb. Like, you're man eatering. You're like man eatering right now.
- [29:23]
You're man eatering.
- [29:24]
Yeah. I think it's an energy, you know, it's.
- [29:26]
It's such a confident song. I actually play a part of it in my tour. Cause I'm like, you do? Oh, I can't wait for you to see it, Nelly. It's like all of these men come up, and they're like magic mic dancers around me, and I'm just in my element. I'm the only woman on stage. And it's like. It is like this empowering feeling when you hear that song.
- [29:44]
I love that. I love that for people.
- [29:46]
It's so good. Did anyone in your team ever. When you have the song, you're like the pussy cock, the bird, the man eater, promiscuous girl. Did anyone ever think that it was, like, too edgy or was everyone around you, like, we love this?
- [29:59]
No, not really. I think I was, like, just making that record in Miami. I was feeling the vibes. I was feeling myself. I'd spent all day in a bathing suit, like, playing with my kid on the beach, you know, Like, I was feeling myself in the sun, to be totally honest. And I was newly single. See, every time. God.
- [30:16]
Newly single brought us promiscuous girl. Oh, my God.
- [30:19]
Yeah.
- [30:20]
That's amazing.
- [30:21]
I just kind of had fresh energy that kind of seeing the world through new, like, I guess, red colored glasses.
- [30:27]
I love it.
- [30:27]
Yeah, the energy is very, like, red and, like, passionate. But also with promiscuous. I actually didn't write that chorus. It was Timbaland's idea. It was. Yeah, it was. And then I sat down and finished the lyrics with Attitude. This amazing rapper that he was working with at the time. And I was hesitant, but my good friend Jim Bean sat me down. He's like, I think this is authentic and I really like this energy and you're. You sound great on it. And I did know. I did know that I like I laced up the verses and I sounded good and all that. And now when I sing it, I love it. It's like karaoke time.
- [30:57]
It's Promiscuous is another one of my favorites. I made a really bad music video too when I was younger, which you'll never see. Can you tell me though, like from that song, how has your because it is a very again in bolding empowering song. How has your relationship to your sexuality evolved over the years?
- [31:31]
Alex Cooper
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- [33:17]
Nelly Furtado
How has your relationship to your sexuality evolved over the years?
- [33:21]
That's a good question and I will also give a quick shout out to the music I grew up on. So Salt and Peppa TLC Trailblazers those girl groups in the late 90s when I was a teenager I was coming of age 14 15, I was blessed to have that music to listen to. It was like Mary J. Blige, tlc, Salt and Peppa. And they were giving this empowered sexuality and choice. It was about choice. It was about, I am in control of my choices. And that was the energy we wanted to capture with a song like Promiscuous. It's a choice. It's an even playing field. I think to feel sexy, to feel sensual, you have to spend time on yourself. You have to spend time alone. You have to spend time just. You have to tap into pleasure, which is joy. Right. Joy is pleasure. Right. So if you really feel and embodied, like, in your body, like, I'm not gonna lie, like, I feel. I feel pretty sexy when I'm, like, dancing, you know, like, I'm in the dance studio. Because it's such an act of self love. To apply your mind and body to something like choreography and to just be. To feel that. I would say it's like, almost like an equilibrium.
- [34:29]
Yeah.
- [34:29]
And I think from there you can feel very confident, you know? And I think it's something you develop. I think your sexuality is something you develop, you know, as when you start, you know, whenever, in your early teens, and then you do. You just develop for the self, you know? And I think that's a healthy place to start, you know, I think that's.
- [34:46]
Such a good, like, piece of advice. Because I think sometimes women can really feel like, oh, my gosh. Like, whether they were repressed when they were younger or religion or whatever folds into it, or shame. Like, sometimes we can feel like maybe I just am not as sexual of a person as I wanted to be, or maybe I don't feel as empowered to, like, own it. And it's really like, if, you know, the more you know yourself, the more you'll know what you enjoy and the more that you'll feel confident to be able to explore.
- [35:10]
But it's almost like it's a quiet game. You know what I mean?
- [35:13]
Yes. You're just on the search for whatever, like, makes you feel your best. And no one can tell you. And you shouldn't ever search for it through someone else.
- [35:24]
No, I mean, I think people can teach you, you know, Like, I think you can grow in relationships. Like, I think you can grow and you can kind of, like, pick up things as you go and, like, that ebb and flow again. But at the end of the day, yeah, you gotta feel. You gotta feel good.
- [35:39]
Alex Cooper
You gotta feel good.
- [35:41]
Nelly Furtado
Right. Do you fall in love easily?
- [35:44]
I'm changing. I used to.
- [35:48]
Yes, Alex.
- [35:49]
And I'm A lover. I love love. I need muses. I'm a muses girl. Like, I need. I think it's because I'm an artist, I'm a writer, I create. And it's like I grew up thinking and just feeling like I'm. I love. Like lovers. Like, I love to the. I love the idea of being just really into. Inspired and the joy in dating and like that. It's like, there's nothing like that. But I also enjoy my solitude so much that I have had people ask me, like, friends, like colleagues, like, why are you even in a relationship? You have so much going on in your mind. You should just date yourself. How are you even able to be with. And it is true. I like my solitude so much that sometimes it is hard for me to be in a relationship.
- [36:31]
Alex Cooper
Yeah.
- [36:31]
Nelly Furtado
Because I'm just like, get away from me. It's too hard. Yeah. It's like I always felt like, more comfortable to be, like, more like a. Like a. Like an enjoyable kind of like. And I'm not gonna say part time. I don't know what to say.
- [36:43]
No. What was the thing you said earlier?
- [36:44]
I don't know.
- [36:45]
A flip relationship. No. What was.
- [36:48]
Oh, a flingation.
- [36:49]
Fling ship. You're in your. You're always wanting to be in your Fling Asianship. Is that how you say it?
- [36:56]
Yeah. Yeah, there you go. Fling Asianship. I think it's just kind of. I don't know. I follow my. My passions and my lust and my. My interests, too. I do have adhd, and I think it's affected me. Women experience it differently than men. I was only recently diagnosed, but I read a great book and it talked about how even as women with adhd, we can pick partners that kind of make us feel like we're in the passenger seat because we want somebody else to make all the decisions for us, and we just want to coast. Right.
- [37:27]
Interesting.
- [37:27]
And I found that really interesting when I read that, because I was like, oh, yeah. And I think when I'm on my own, I'm more able to kind of navigate to my whole life in a way that works for my brain and for my comfort levels. But I do love love, and I do love falling in love. And I find that fun still. But I think my priorities have changed.
- [37:46]
I mean, I think that's amazing to even just acknowledge your priorities have changed. And you even talking about, like, recognizing something that can affect your relationships, you being like, I don't want to just coast. Like, I do want to have more control over my relationship, even you Just recognizing that will probably affect the next relationship you get into and how you approach it. Right.
- [38:04]
Yes. And you want to stay yourself. I think that's the most important thing. You don't. I. I have had a tendency to lose myself in relationships.
- [38:10]
Alex Cooper
Yeah.
- [38:11]
Nelly Furtado
So, yeah.
- [38:12]
A part of why you returned to music was because you were going through a difficult breakup. You talk about in these songs, that experience. Can you share, like, what made this breakup so painful for you?
- [38:24]
Oh, my God. I want a sip of water.
- [38:28]
Yeah, let's take a sip of water. I saw your body just go. Do you have an hour, sweetie? Where do we begin?
- [38:35]
Yeah, you know, I don't know. Isn't it sort of like life? You know, and then again, we talk about this experience even when you're in your 20s and you're growing everybody. I mean, I always wanted to have a family, you know what I mean? And have children and this. We all have that dream of just kind of settling down and like, oh, now I'm at the yellow brick road. This is so great. Oh, wait. And now I'm at the yellow brick road. Right. And it comes in all these variations, but I think I just had that feeling, like I had finally kind of arrived at that, you know, yellow brick road. And it was, like, gonna be that for me. And then it turned out that it wasn't, and that's why it hit so hard. You know what I mean?
- [39:16]
I. Absolutely.
- [39:16]
Because it was the first time it had felt, you know, like that. Right. You know, where it was like, oh, you know, where you felt like, you know, you had that profound sense of a certain kind of peace. You know what I mean? And a certain kind of certainty. Right. And it's that idea when the certainty just kind of gets pulled out from under you or the rug gets pulled out, and you go, oh, my God, I have a lot to learn still. I have a lot to learn about me. And you might have had a horrible experience, you know, and for sure, like, I went through a very difficult time where I think I accepted some things that. That I would never accept now, you know, in terms of the way you're treated.
- [39:58]
Alex Cooper
Yeah.
- [39:59]
Nelly Furtado
And could you share just a little bit, like, not.
- [40:02]
Yeah, I can.
- [40:03]
Just for women listening, like, of course I know you can't see it when you're in it sometimes.
- [40:06]
You cannot at all. You cannot see it at all when you're in it. And sometimes we just love so hard, and we love. And I'm sure there's women out there, too. You know, when we become mothers, we're quite vulnerable when we become mot because we just want what's best for our kids and we want to protect them. And I think that in general, I'll say that it can really happen to anybody. Feeling powerless, you know what I mean? You could have all the money in the world and all the resources, but in the mind, really, that is your only wealth is in your mind. And so if you can't feel strong enough and clear enough to move out of a situation that might be toxic for you and not the best for you and also abusive in any way, you know, I think that, yeah, like, I'm definitely, like, not here to, like, tear, you know, of course, anyone down or anything, but I think that it's honest to say that it is hard when you're in a relationship that has that imbalance, I will say, and I. And abusive qualities. It is hard to. It is hard to see outside of it because you isolate yourself. You stop talking to your friends. You don't tell your friends the truth about what's going on in your life, and you live in a bubble. And it's hard to admit, you know, that you have chosen to not say anything. Right. It's hard to admit to yourself.
- [41:51]
It is, it is.
- [41:52]
Right? And then on top of that, the love, Right, Love, you know, keeps you there because. Oh, you want to. You know, And I will say that too. Like, I think as women, I think we tend to sacrifice our happiness sometimes, you know, once we're. Once we're in it. Of course, once we're. Once we're. We've fallen in love, Right. We tend to. We sacrifice ourselves sometimes and we think we're doing the right thing. Yeah.
- [42:22]
So often. And I appreciate you sharing that too, because I think when you are in those situations and you get so isolated, a lot of times you're like, how would I even begin to unravel this? Right? Like, how do I even begin to get away and like, to restart fear?
- [42:36]
Fear is huge too, because when you have. When you fear, you know, when you have fear, that can be a very powerful emotion. You can be afraid, but you can. It kind of like you created in your mind, you know, you can be afraid, like, oh, what's the person gonna do to me or say about me or like, you know, etc. Etc. Or, I don't know, you just. You fear. You fear that. And again, it's heightened when you have, you know, like, kids and like, there's whole other things to think about or I.
- [43:03]
And I. I also agree with you Because I have talked about this on the show before, too, of, like, the thought sometimes of leaving and all the things that you think it would take to leave. It just feels more daunting almost than just staying.
- [43:16]
Yeah.
- [43:17]
Can you share? Like, how. How do you know?
- [43:20]
I know I have a song about it on my album.
- [43:23]
It's. And I appreciate you writing about it because it's like, it's so real, and.
- [43:27]
Alex Cooper
So many women listening to this are.
- [43:29]
Nelly Furtado
Going to be like, nelly, thank you. Oh, water. Thank you for sharing, though, because it's like, I do think, and it's not, like, on you to help all these women, but it is, like, the more we talk about it, the more people. I know someone's going to be watching at home right now being like, oh, my God, if Nelly was going through this and she says that she got out of it, like, I can too. Like, can you share how you knew it was time and, like, how you actually took the steps to. To get away? Essentially?
- [43:59]
I think there were moments where I almost had the strength, but again, like, something would keep me there, you know, where I was like, oh, this is, you know, this is the moment. So I think that in, I will say having remarkable friends, like, I'm very lucky. I have some really, really, really amazing friends, really core, like, childhood friends that have been there for me my whole entire life. And they just. They just kind of knew what to say to me and knew what was too much or too little and even the hard stuff, you know, I have some friends that I will say to ladies out there, you know, what, those people that are telling you what you don't want to hear, those are the ones you need to keep close. Hopefully they know you well enough to not repel you with judgment or anything like that. And it's not judgment if you. You can sense when it's love. And I think everyone has someone, you know, maybe one person or one voice in their life that is maybe like, reminding you when stuff is not okay and, like, what your worth is and what behavior is unacceptable if you cannot see it for yourself.
- [45:10]
It's so true. It's like you just need one person.
- [45:12]
Yeah, you do.
- [45:13]
One person.
- [45:14]
Yeah. To just kind of be like, no, actually, I'm not going to talk to you anymore.
- [45:21]
Alex Cooper
Right, Right.
- [45:22]
Nelly Furtado
Or whatnot. But like. But tough love doesn't work all the time. But, like, it's in doses. Right. And I think I'm trying to think of another thing that helped me. I think, ooh, geez, that's such a good question. I Think you have aha moments. You know what I mean? They just have sometimes, like a moment where you're like, okay, you know? And then sometimes I guess I was lucky in a way because maybe, like, on top of it, I wasn't really the one who chose. At the end of the day, like, you know what I mean? I went through a rough time, but then at the end of the day, it wasn't really my decision. But then I quickly learned that then, okay, now I'm doing me. Now I'm doing me now.
- [46:04]
It's such a vicious cycle that you can get so wrapped up into, and then when you get released from something like that, it can almost feel like withdrawal symptoms because you're so used to the up and the down and the toxic.
- [46:17]
You do. And then for some reason, your brain only feeds you happy memories. It's really weird, Nelly.
- [46:23]
It is so fucked up. You're like, maybe she was actually.
- [46:26]
The restaurant, the coffee shop, like the movie we went to. And it's like, very weird.
- [46:31]
It's so fucking.
- [46:33]
That's a tough phase. Yeah, that's tough phase. When your brain feeds you all these happy memories. Let's flood you with happy. Because there are happy memories, right? That's why. That's why you stay there. Because there are some great things, right? So it's. It's tricky to navigate.
- [46:45]
Alex Cooper
It is tricky.
- [46:46]
Nelly Furtado
It's a big mind F U C.
- [46:48]
K. But I really appreciate you like talking about it that way too, because I know so many women write in feeling like. I feel so much shame that I'm even thinking about this person that hurt me, and I feel like it's like.
- [46:58]
Don'T feel shame, right? No, don't feel shame about it. It's not natural. You know what I mean? Like, it's natural to want to, you know, to still feel a multitude of feelings. And it. Yeah, it's just totally normal. It's a process. You know what I mean? Because the truth is, it's like anything, right? Like, how many band aids do you have?
- [47:17]
Alex Cooper
Right?
- [47:17]
Nelly Furtado
And how long do those take to heal? It takes time.
- [47:20]
What is a difficult lesson that you've learned about love that you would tell your kids one day?
- [47:25]
Oh, my God. Love. It's funny. I almost call my album let's be honest, you know nothing about love.
- [47:31]
Oh, my God. Stop.
- [47:34]
I'm serious. That was my. It was either called seven or. Let's be honest, you know nothing about love. Maybe I'll call the deluxe that I.
- [47:41]
Was about to say. That's what you Call it in your head. And then to the world at seven. You're like, what it really is. Let's be honest. You know nothing about love. Oh, my God. What?
- [47:48]
Like the story of everyone's life, right? It's like, we. We know love.
- [47:52]
Of course.
- [47:52]
Like, we. I know great love. You know, OB I'm blessed to be a mother and have wonderful family and friends and things like that. So I know what love is. Is. But if I was to give advice on romantic love to my children, I'm gonna. I'm gonna vote for the golden retriever. I'm sorry. You gotta be best friends. I think you have to have an authentic, true friendship. If it's about partnership, you know, forget all the other stuff. It's about partnership. But also, stay you, man. Stay you.
- [48:26]
Yeah. And listen to your friends. When you have a gut feeling, your friends are usually always.
- [48:32]
Oh, that's the other thing. Your gut is always right. The little voice in your head that tells you. And this is not even this, like. And this is past relationship, but the.
- [48:39]
Little voice, it's always right.
- [48:41]
Yeah.
- [48:42]
And it's so hard because I know it's so cliche to say, but it's like, then why do we always ignore her gut? Why are we always like.
- [48:47]
But that's like, we gaslight ourselves. I have a song, actually. I think I'm gonna put on my deluxe called Gaslight. Yeah. Another album title was Red Flags.
- [48:56]
Oh, my God. Too relatable.
- [48:58]
I'll take these. So anyways, yeah. So gaslight. We gaslight ourselves in a way. You know what I mean? Because it's like, boom, boom, boom, boom. Oh, it's. Yeah. It's like an echo chamber.
- [49:10]
Can you share? Like, how do you get your confidence back after a breakup?
- [49:14]
Oh, me? Kind of like exercise and going out. I started to go out a lot.
- [49:25]
Alex Cooper
Oh.
- [49:25]
Nelly Furtado
After my breakup. I was ready. I was like, I'm. Because it was such a long, dwindling breakup. But by the end, I was like, okay, I'm dating now. This is awesome. Like, I managed after we did, you know, all the ending stuff, and then I. And I. Yeah, just went out and had fun and just. I think I, like, really found a lot of joy in, like, dressing up again and, like, clothing and fashion and. Yeah. Because I think I was, like, really kind of wearing, like, a mommy uniform for, like, three years.
- [49:53]
What was your mommy?
- [49:54]
My place was a block away from the Target.
- [49:58]
Oh, what were we buying at Target?
- [50:01]
Okay, I will. I do remember taking my. My teenager on a tour of Target of A university. She was shopping for universities out in California. I thought my shirt was nice, but it would look like a tablecloth because it was blue and white checkers. But it wasn't even a flattering cut.
- [50:20]
Alex Cooper
Okay.
- [50:21]
Nelly Furtado
And I didn't have time to shop, so I would just grab, like, whatever I saw. Nothing against Target, but, like, I love Target.
- [50:27]
Yeah, yeah.
- [50:27]
Target's fun. You can find great stuff. But I think that I didn't diversify.
- [50:31]
Got it.
- [50:31]
I wasn't really. Like, I didn't have time. I didn't have time. I didn't have time. Or I just wore stuff that was baggy, which is totally normal. Like, I breastfed all my kids. So of course you're gonna. You need easy access. So you just wore the boobs you do.
- [50:44]
So you just weren't feeling yourself as much. And then once you got through the breakup, you're like, you know what? I'm gonna, like, start putting my cute outfits on. I do my glam. I'm gonna get out there. I'm gonna go have fun.
- [50:53]
Well, the studio helped me too. So I started going to the studio and I started writing. I started recording music again, and I got so many emotions out. Oh, my God. I got so many emotions out at the studio. I would cry in there. I would get angry in there. It was so good for me. Such a good therapy.
- [51:08]
Wait, is it. Is it true that you actually wrote, like, like, 400 songs?
- [51:12]
I did.
- [51:12]
Yeah. Nelly, can you just, like, rewind and tell me, like, how, like, if this.
- [51:17]
House was my studio, what I would do is I would adjust. Like, we're in LA today, so I'd be like, who's in LA today? Which of my friends are in la? Which producers, which writers, which friends? And that's what informed this album. This album is really just like, a let's party type of album. Because I was getting over a breakup, and I was like, my social life became the studio. Oh, sorry. Like, you know, like, I. You know, I don't. I wasn't in the mood to, like, go away and write songs by myself on a guitar. It was like, no, we're bringing everybody in. I would invite, like, people after their concerts to come hang out and make music with me. Yeah. And then my daughter was really coaching me on, too, because she was having fun in there too. So it was like, we're making music now. We're doing. We're this, like, really cooking now and, like, really having fun.
- [51:58]
How do you pick between 400 songs of what to put on an album?
- [52:02]
I Like, to stay up late making music till really late, till, like, the sun comes up and I get really inspired and I get my bongo draw. Just joking.
- [52:14]
Picturing you in there with a bongo drum. Like, let's go.
- [52:17]
Let's go. My djembe and I just go till seven. No, but it's pretty much, yeah. We just like a bunch of music. We just have fun. And the way I pick the songs.
- [52:27]
Oh, my God.
- [52:28]
It's almost like I always say, like, you. When you go and, like, you. You put flowers together at a flower shop, it's like, why do you like those flowers? Right? And I think it's also, like, whatever goes together. And it's like a bit like a fashion collection, just kind of putting it together.
- [52:40]
I love it.
- [52:41]
One session I had had, like, a bunch of different people who, like, didn't even necessarily make music. Like, I think at one time, like. Like a. Like a comedian ended up in there, and I was like, oh, what you got? Like, I'm very, like. Like, I'm a hippie that way. Like, if you were, I would make you sing.
- [52:57]
No.
- [52:57]
Yes. I believe anybody can write a song. I've done that before. I've done, like, art.
- [53:02]
Wait, let's show. How do you start? Sure.
- [53:04]
Yeah.
- [53:04]
Okay. How do you start writing a song? Like, where does you even start?
- [53:07]
I'd be like, what's your favorite childhood vacation you went on?
- [53:11]
Ooh.
- [53:12]
Mmm.
- [53:13]
Shit. Oh, like Disneyland.
- [53:16]
See how it's got you in your field?
- [53:18]
Yeah. I'm like, oh, my God.
- [53:18]
So we start there.
- [53:19]
Okay. Disneyland.
- [53:20]
So, like, in a Disneyland. So what did you like about it?
- [53:23]
Oh, just like, the euphoric feeling of seeing these things come to life that I always saw on tv.
- [53:29]
Yes, yes. Just like. So you'd be like, oh, like, euphoria. Everything's telling me a story. Yeah. Oh. Seen it before. Yeah. Seen it before. Yeah. Yeah. You know what I mean?
- [53:46]
I am chilled.
- [53:48]
That's how I write.
- [53:49]
That's how I write. Starts a song in two seconds.
- [53:51]
Yeah. So then we'd go somewhere with it if I keep going. But, yeah.
- [53:55]
I am obsessed.
- [53:57]
Yeah.
- [53:58]
I am not okay that you just said that. Thank you.
- [53:59]
Fireworks above the castle. Blowing my mind. No, your voice every night. It's like, whatever, Nelly.
- [54:08]
Me just being like, okay for the rest of the interview, just saying no.
- [54:10]
And then we call it Disneyland.
- [54:28]
Alex Cooper
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- [57:00]
Nelly Furtado
What is your stance on breakup sex?
- [57:04]
Oh, that's a good question. I mean, I think it's necessary at a certain stage. It is. Let's be honest. Aren't we honest on this show?
- [57:12]
We're being very honest today, Nelly. I think that's all we're doing.
- [57:15]
Come on.
- [57:16]
I love it.
- [57:17]
I mean, it's all. It's like energy. You have to like, you know, squeeze the lemon.
- [57:21]
Oh, my God.
- [57:22]
Right? It's like squeeze the lemon until the juice is gone. So that's what it's like. So then one day, like, well, this lemon has no more juice, so no more breakup sex. Yeah. I think it's natural.
- [57:38]
That is.
- [57:38]
And I'm gonna hear from other people, too. Yeah.
- [57:40]
I think that's a great take. I love that take.
- [57:42]
Right. Guys when they break up or something, like. Yeah.
- [57:44]
Yes.
- [57:44]
Well, yeah, we might have seen each other once or twice last week. Literally.
- [57:51]
Literally. Okay. So are you single right now?
- [57:56]
Okay.
- [57:56]
You're single when dating, though?
- [57:58]
Like, I'm dating, but I'm dating different people. Oh, yeah. Just like.
- [58:01]
Yeah, you've got, like, a little roster going on.
- [58:04]
I mean, roster. But it's like. I feel like that's derivative. Yeah.
- [58:08]
Yeah.
- [58:10]
I like the roster.
- [58:11]
I've got a plethora of options.
- [58:13]
No, I mean, I call it the Flingation Ships.
- [58:15]
Flingationships.
- [58:15]
So it's like. Ooh. Like, it's like a potential. I will say that I have, like, there's different potentialities and there's different, like, levels of, like, interest and just kind of. And romance in different areas. I'll say. I'll describe it that way.
- [58:28]
Are you going?
- [58:29]
So, yes, I'm single again, love. I've been single for a couple years.
- [58:34]
What is your ideal date?
- [58:36]
I went on a really nice date recently.
- [58:38]
Oh.
- [58:38]
Where it was daytime.
- [58:40]
Okay. Yeah, we love that.
- [58:42]
Yeah. I kind of, like. I think I recommend the daytime date for a first date because it's broad daylight, so the particular date, it was very hot, so I was, like, very sweaty. But that was unfortunate. I actually had boob sweat.
- [58:55]
A classic.
- [58:55]
I know. Or just, like, dinner, like, that type of thing. I love being like. Yeah. Just kind of, like, chill. Yeah. Just going out for dinner. But I like the idea of dressing up for a date sometimes, if it's appropriate. But ironically, I, like, never have time. So I get ready so fast. But I do like that idea. Yeah.
- [59:13]
Would you ever bring a guy to one of your shows?
- [59:16]
I brought guys to my shows. Yeah.
- [59:18]
But it's like.
- [59:19]
It's not really fair because they just go, oh, my God. Right?
- [59:22]
They're going to just fall in love immediately. They're like, I love you.
- [59:25]
Like, it's like, show me. So different. But it is cool because you get to show, like, what you do.
- [59:31]
True.
- [59:31]
You know what I mean?
- [59:32]
But they're immediately in love.
- [59:34]
I mean. Yeah.
- [59:36]
Yeah.
- [59:36]
It's pretty awesome. The concert's awesome. Like, it's cool, you know, See me go up There and do my thing. Like, oh, my God. Yeah. So I'm, I'm. Yeah, I'm strategic about inviting the win though. Right. It's not always like appropriate or the right setting, but for sure, it's almost like what would be like the best weapon in the weapon, Chad? What would be called, like, what would. Like a machete.
- [59:58]
Oh, like a machete.
- [59:59]
The show is like a machete move. Yeah. You'd be like, come to my show. So like, you know, pull out the machete right away. You want to time it out anyway.
- [60:10]
Why I'm obsessed with you. What's your next question? You're like moving on. Oh, my God. The machete is the show. Nelly. The machete. No, I can't. I'm done. We're moving on. What are some non negotiables that you're looking for in a partner? Like, you're like, if they don't have this, I'm out.
- [60:28]
The self work. Yeah. For actual partnership, like long term partner, I would want somebody who's worked on their self in an authentic way. Not in like a surface way, but like more like this, the spiritual side. Like a little bit of exploration there, you know what I mean? But like authentically and also like, like some growth in that department. I would say maybe growth and like specifically like ego. I think.
- [60:57]
Let's just pause on that.
- [60:58]
We need some third eye coming into the mix.
- [60:59]
Wait, like it's, it's, it's when the ego is out of control. It's like it can. Especially when you start dating a guy, you can first think it's confidence and like hot, but then all of a sudden you're like, oh, you're a dick. But it can't be.
- [61:13]
Yeah, you want somebody confident. Yeah, but, but confidence comes from, I think, a genuine good heart. You know what I mean? I think, I think for partners, you want somebody with a good heart, you want somebody nice.
- [61:23]
Alex Cooper
Yeah.
- [61:23]
Nelly Furtado
Like, I don't know why, but like sometimes we're attracted to, you know, people who aren't that nice. Just like to people watch how they talk to like the people you encounter, like on your date or whatever when you're dating. Like how they treat your friends, your family, if your friends like them, if your family likes them. All those big green flags.
- [61:39]
You know, sometimes we don't listen to our friends and like, our friends at some point don't really care. Like they have no agenda other than wanting you to be happy. So when people, when you guys are trying to like math it in your head, like, well, My friends just don't get it. They don't see that good side of him. It's like, no, no. Your friends just want you to be happy. They don't care. Listen to your friends. If they're like, he's a dick, there's a reason and they're only seeing a percentage. How crazy is that? And they can even see he's not a good person. But we rationalize in our head, and.
- [62:05]
It'S a lot of rationalization.
- [62:07]
Okay, back to your music. You ended up taking a break from music. Were you nervous at all, like, how people were going to react with you coming back?
- [62:15]
Back? I'm very lucky because I got to tippy toe, like, very slowly into the waters. And then things kind of lined up in a really cool way. So started with. I was already making music by the time I kind of showed up on stage after five years with Drake at an event in Toronto. And I sang, and it was like, oh, this is fun. I realized, oh, maybe I have something new to offer. This I've worked on myself. I feel different. Maybe I'll be better at my job now. You know, I'm older, better, wiser. That. Then I started booking more shows. I booked a show in Australia where I met Dom Dolla. Then we make this track, and then we're playing it at Lollapalooza and Coachella. And it's, like, crazy. And his raves that he throws after his shows, like, just the whole thing. So fun. So everything lined up so nicely that I was making my album while I was getting out there again, so it wasn't so scary. Right. It was baby steps. And that, to me, was a blessing.
- [63:09]
What did you learn about yourself from.
- [63:10]
Alex Cooper
Writing this new album? Oh, my God.
- [63:12]
Nelly Furtado
Wow. I learned that I've become an even better, like, producer and person who brings people together because I got to try new ideas. Like, I got to try, like, Like. Like, I have, like, like, weird juxtapositions of people and sounds on. On my album. And I think that's just because, oh, my God, I love people genuinely. I have such a curious mind. Like, I told you, like, I'd love to have you in the studio, and I want you to sing. So I. I am more interested in, like, the craft of making it almost than the outcome. Does that make sense?
- [63:40]
Alex Cooper
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Interesting.
- [63:42]
Nelly Furtado
Yeah. Like, I'm more into just like, oh, the mad scientist part, you know?
- [63:45]
Right.
- [63:46]
So, like, and I found such confidence in there this time around. I've always been confident, but this time I was more open Hearted. Like, before, I used to not like writing songs in front of people, and now I don't care. I would just turn the mic on like this, have everything blast through the speakers. It feels like you're at a live show, and then we just, like, hang out and have a good time. So I think I grew in vulnerability.
- [64:03]
That's amazing.
- [64:04]
My vulnerability. Yeah. Yeah.
- [64:05]
It's really incredible to see how your life has evolved and, like, you're such an incredible, talented performer and producer, and you've built an incredible family, and you have these gorgeous children. Last question. What are you the most proud of with this new album as a whole? And, like, why do you want people to go stream it?
- [64:24]
Oh, my God. I think the album has a lot of emotion. I think it has a lot of purity. And if you just want to escape, like, if you just want to feel like, you know, that music that makes you feel something for real, I will humbly say that I think a lot of the songs do make you really feel something and make you really escape. And I spent my time making it, and I. I definitely think it's just really good, quality music.
- [64:46]
Oh, my God. Genuinely Nellie Furtado.
- [64:49]
But of course, I'm just thinking about, what do I make now? Like, I'm just never satisfied.
- [64:53]
You. I mean, you have 400 in the bank.
- [64:55]
Like, meanwhile, I'm like, it's aight.
- [64:57]
Stop. Would you ever pull the songs from the 400 and make another album?
- [65:01]
None of them are.
- [65:02]
No.
- [65:03]
I'm working on my deluxe right now.
- [65:04]
Who is your dream collab?
- [65:06]
Dream collabo. I mean, I still. I still think it'd be cool to have a song with Drake. I think people would love that because we're both Canadian. The lore, you know, Toronto lore.
- [65:15]
Can you please? Yeah, that's. Our last request is.
- [65:18]
Alex Cooper
Yes.
- [65:19]
Nelly Furtado
Anello Furtado. Drake song. Putting in the crust now. Done.
- [65:22]
Yeah, I think it would. I think it would be really good.
- [65:24]
Thank you so much for taking the time and coming on today. It was truly a pleasure. You are even better hanging out with you in person. Thank you so much.
- [65:32]
Oh, thank you for having me. This was really fun.
- [65:34]
I had a good time.
- [65:35]
Yeah. I even cried.