
Join Alex in the studio for an interview with Nelly Furtado. Nelly opens up about her recent, painful breakup and shares how she’s having more fun being single and dating than she ever did in her past. She also reminisces on what inspired her most iconic songs and gives her take on break up sex, the importance of confidence, and what she calls “flingationships.” Enjoy!
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Alex Cooper
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Alex Cooper
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What is up Daddy gang?
It is your founding father, Alex Cooper with Call her dad.
Nelly Furtado. Welcome to Call Her Daddy.
Nelly Furtado
Hi.
Alex Cooper
I am so happy we are finally doing this. I'm the biggest fan. Thank you for coming today.
Nelly Furtado
Oh, my gosh. I'm. This is so fun. So I've only been here a few minutes. I'm having so much fun.
Alex Cooper
I'm having so much fun. We have to tell the Daddy Gang. Who are my audience? First of all, Daddy Gang. Nelly's daughter is Daddy Gang. Can you tell me, what did she say when she found out that you were coming and call Her Daddy?
Nelly Furtado
Well, she's been wanting me to come on the show forever. She's been talking about it since, like, we started making music for this album, some of it together, and. And I was like, yeah. I mean, I love that. It would be great. Like, your show's amazing. You're amazing. Love your energy. So she's thrilled. She's like, right on. And then I was like, oh, okay. Can come help me with that? So, yeah, her friend are here today. They're excited. She'd almost stayed in the room, but I was like, I'm just gonna be, like, looking at her the whole time. So she's in the other room.
Alex Cooper
It's so fun to have you here, and it's so cool to, like, know that your daughter is Daddy Gang. Meanwhile, I'm the biggest fan of you, so it's all coming full circle. You've had such an incredible career. Obviously, you've been in the spotlight. You've also made decisions to step out of it at times. Like, when are you at your happiest?
Nelly Furtado
Oh, wow. In general, in life?
Alex Cooper
Yeah.
Nelly Furtado
Oh, my God. Probably when I'm, like, at the park with my children, just kind of, like, pushing them on a swing or something, or. But then I'm also quite happy when I am kind of waving my freak flag at a concert and singing on. On my concert on stage. Because it's also my other chance to really be myself. Like, I do feel very myself when I'm on stage. Like, I'm like, this is my chance to just be as weird as I want to be. I fit in when I'm on stage. Right.
Alex Cooper
I think, though, that's like, a relatable, somewhat relatable idea of, like, we have these two sides to ourselves. Like, no one is just one dimensional. Right?
Nelly Furtado
Not at all. And that is, like, key. That is, like. Yes.
Alex Cooper
Would you say you're able to have somewhat of a normal life, like, if you're at the park? Are you at the park as, like, Mom, Nelly, or Like, do people like come up to you and are you.
Nelly Furtado
No, I am very good. I'm very chameleonic. Like not only in my music but like in the way I look. So I can be. I, I like you wouldn't, you wouldn't recognize me. I mean, sometimes I don't care. Like sometimes a little. It depends what mood you're in. Right.
Alex Cooper
So true. Like sometimes you're like, let's be social. And other times you're like, yeah.
Nelly Furtado
But usually if I'm around my kids, like I'm not really. Yeah, I'm pretty sure I don't really want to kind of. I gotta engage in that way.
Alex Cooper
Okay.
I have to know because this is. Call her daddy. What is the difference in your opinion? Dating Canadian men versus American men?
Nelly Furtado
This is such a good question. Now we're getting the juicy bits. Just so you know, all my friends know this about me. I love love. It's my favorite topic. I try to set people up all the time. Poorly. I don't have a very good success rate so they kind of roll their eyeballs at me. Little cupid. But I do love American men. I do. But I've found some interesting Canadians along the way.
Alex Cooper
You have? I was going to say like if.
Nelly Furtado
You had to say some high quality. Yeah.
Alex Cooper
What is your type?
Nelly Furtado
My type? Oh, it's changing.
Alex Cooper
Okay.
Nelly Furtado
Yeah, my type is changing. Yeah.
Alex Cooper
Talk to me about it.
Nelly Furtado
Well, I'm in my 40s now, so I'm about. I'm 45. I'll be 46. Love. And it's like a new beginning for me. It's like a very fun time in my life because I didn't really get to be single in my twenties. Right. I. I was pretty like locked down in relationships like from the time. Not locked down in a negative way, but just like, you know, I was in relate long term relationships for much of my 20s and 30s. So only recently, I think in the last few years I've become single again. It's so fun dating. I love it.
Alex Cooper
You do?
Nelly Furtado
I do love it.
Alex Cooper
Wait, Nelly.
Nelly Furtado
Because it's on my watch when I feel like it.
Alex Cooper
Right? You're like on my terms, on my voice.
Nelly Furtado
And it's like when you come correct. You know what I mean? Yeah. So now my type is like come correct. You know, they asked me out on a date or for dinner or just like it's all, it's all in the way, you know the words, you know, use the sort of. Yeah, I like confidence. I adore confidence.
Alex Cooper
Not you saying come correct. Boys come correct men. I'm obsessed. That's a great attitude to have because I know I have a lot of single girls listening, and it's like, I think a lot of people want to have that, like, excitement towards dating. Yeah.
Nelly Furtado
Yes. But you have to enjoy being single authentically. You can't just say, oh, yeah, I'm out here, I'm having fun. Date. No, if you. If you're looking for a relationship for real, then be authentic about that. But if that's not what you're looking for, ask yourself, what do you want? You know, and if you want to just have fun and see what's out there and. And. And that's fine too. True.
Alex Cooper
You just have to know what you want.
Nelly Furtado
But be real with it.
Alex Cooper
Yeah, we're going to talk so much more dating. First, I have to acknowledge there is another very famous musician that obviously is from Canada who you. Can you please explain how you ended up singing? Yeah, I'm like a bird with Drake.
Nelly Furtado
Oh, my God, Drake. Yes. We go way back, actually. He just asked me to come sing again a couple nights ago on Saturday night. He's like. He asked me at 11pm to show up at 1am and I love him to death, but I was like, I am not showing up without glam.
Alex Cooper
I thought you were gonna say, like, I'm asleep. Like, get me glam, then maybe I'll roll up.
Nelly Furtado
I was up. Okay, I was up. But I was like, it was an event. It was like this really fun event in Toronto. And I was like, no, I can't show up without glam. Because of course, you know, he's so famous. It'll be everywhere.
Alex Cooper
You're like, I want to have my beat on. Okay. I want to make sure I look.
Nelly Furtado
Fit outfit right?
Alex Cooper
Like, you gotta come snatch for the gods with the lashes and the beat. You're like, babe, give me five hours. Yeah, I know.
Nelly Furtado
Oh, my God.
Alex Cooper
So you just didn't go?
Nelly Furtado
No, I could. I couldn't make it that time.
Alex Cooper
But, you know, obsessed.
Nelly Furtado
But anyways, yeah, I do. I do love him a lot. He's a great guy and I think that, I mean, he's done a lot for the music industry. You know, Toronto was a secret for a long time. A secret that I loved as well. Growing up there and making music there in my teens, my early 20s. But now it's just so nice. He kind of really put Toronto on a map in a different kind of way in Canada in general. But anyways, yeah, that's how that went down.
Alex Cooper
The fact that you can be like Drake. Like, I don't have my makeup tonight. Like, I'll pass on this one. Like, oh, my God. So baller.
Nelly Furtado
I kind of wish I did, though, because I saw a video and he looked pretty cute. He had a yellow tracksuit or something. And he looked good.
Alex Cooper
Yeah, Shout out, Dre.
Nelly Furtado
But then I'm like, what would I have worn pink? Because it would have been all videos of yellow. And then, you know, like, look, I.
Alex Cooper
Love that you think of all this stuff.
Nelly Furtado
That's what. That's what performers do. We always think about what things like pop. Especially in pop music, you think about what things look like too.
Alex Cooper
I want to talk before you were a performer because, like, it is such a glamorous life and we get to talk about, like, the outfits and the fashion and all of it. But before you were famous, you worked as a housekeeper in a motel.
Nelly Furtado
Yes. A chambermaid.
Alex Cooper
Was that your first job?
Nelly Furtado
Well, that's a good question. My very first job was actually. It was the same year I did, like, I would jump over the fence at my childhood home and I would do filing for, like, a home inspection company. So I would. But I would. It was long hours, but it. It was helpful, I think, to just sit there and organize. And then I got a job at the motel. It was called the Robin Hood Motel. Yes. And my mom worked there, My sister, my aunt, my cousin. My mom ran the housekeeping department. She was like the head honcho there. And so she hired me. And I would every morning just show up. I mean, harder in the teen years, when you're out the night before and then you get there at 6am and I'm like, where's the coffee?
Alex Cooper
Right? You're like, hello.
Nelly Furtado
Yeah. And my brother was gardening there at the time too, so we'd be like Saturday mornings, like, okay. But it was such a good experience because I worked there for probably 10 summers straight. Wow. I even worked there one summer when I thought, like, after I graduated high school and I went to Toronto and thought I was going to be famous in two months. But reality, you know, like, that's not how it works. Your goals take a while to achieve. Move back home. Worked there again that year when I was going to college in my hometown of Victoria.
Alex Cooper
Oh, my God.
Nelly Furtado
And that was the year I was like, oh, I wonder if my dreams will come true, you know? But growing up doing that was good because the work ethic, because when you get into this industry, Woo. The hours can be long when you're starting out. It's A lot of hust.
Alex Cooper
I wanted to talk about that, though, because the juxtaposition of, like, being someone that is hard working, working with your family, and then you get famous, and I think everyone in the world now kind of has an understanding, at least of, like, when you get famous, people start treating the famous person differently, right? Is there a moment that comes to mind when you really started to notice, like, whoa, people are just treating me nice because I have all these things and I am famous now?
Nelly Furtado
That's an interesting question. I think for me in particular, my parents come from these, like, really, really, like, working class roots. Like, my parents are from the Azores Islands and a tight. From a tiny island called San Miguel, like, from a tiny village. You know, farmers, you know, like, just. They were already, like, picking beans and, like, carrying their water from, you know, the main water fountain to home. Like, when they were like, 10 or 11, you know what I mean? They're already working at the farm by the time they're 12. And so that's my. That's where I come from. So you really can't get bougie on people when you come from those. You get canceled in your family. You can get canceled, right? So you can. You can't even go there. Like, I have no business, like, acting like I'm better than anyone, because I know I'm not, you know, because I go and I'm humbled.
Alex Cooper
I think that's so fun to hear, though, because obviously, like, I didn't know that. But hearing that immediately, it does paint a bit a better picture of, like, how you are so normal and, like, even talking to your daughter, like, before you came in here. No, you're like, I need to start being bougie. But it's. It's interesting even talking to your daughter, how she was like, I grew up with, like, a very normal life because she had stepped kind of out of the spotlight and now all the resurgence of everything and you coming out with this album and, you know, tick tock and everything, she's like, now I'm seeing my mom out there being like, oh, like, oh, my God, that's Nelly Furtado. But it's cool to see that, like, you've been able to live a pretty normal life while also having this super stardom on the other side of your life, if that makes sense.
Nelly Furtado
You know what's really funny? Sorry. I have a story in my mind because she said, I remember, you know, be careful what you wish for, right? Because she's like, oh, mom, yeah, you should start working Again. And then a year later, she's like, why are your hair appointments five hours long and your nail appointments are three hours? Like. Like, you've kind of become a diva mom. Like, well, but, you know, this is my job.
Alex Cooper
You're like, sweetie, you know, Mom, Nelly. Now you're about to meet Nelly Furtado, the superstar.
Nelly Furtado
She's like, what do you mean you can't pick me up at the airport anymore? I'm like, sorry. My hair appointment went over. She was sorry. She was livid.
Alex Cooper
I'm obsessed. Oh, my God.
Nelly Furtado
It's like, well, you want a mom to be back at work here? This is what. I'm doing my thing.
Alex Cooper
I'm back to work, babe.
Nelly Furtado
It's what it takes. Yeah.
Alex Cooper
That is amazing. She's like, God damn it.
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Nelly Furtado
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Nelly Furtado
Okay?
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Today I read that magazines used to edit your photos by lightening your skin and changing your body. Oh yeah. How did that affect you back?
Nelly Furtado
It's so funny because that's. It's fun. I always find it interesting what people cling to in stories. So I did a really like a general interview about with my daughter for People, but then that became a thing like, oh, this is this story. But then I realized, oh, I get it. It's like I wrote a song about it in 2003. I think it was my second album. And yeah, it kind of. It's called Powerless. And it's like, paint my face in your magazines. Make it look lighter than it seems. Paint me over with your dreams. Like shove away my ethnicity. So at the time it's more about the idea of, okay, wait, like I'm in this business. Like when you're young and you're 22, 23, it's like it's a whirlwind, right? Like all of a sudden becoming successful at the career you always dreamed of. And you know, if you're in it for the music, like always was. I think that all that other stuff with the visuals and the aesthetics and the, oh, wow, they. They like you and you look great on the red carpet and. But then the opposite is true as well, and just kind of questioning it all, but it is true. Yeah. I bring my own clothes to photo shoots because I was like a girl. Like, I was 21, 22, young girl. But, yeah, you'd see at the time, I think, yeah, the beauty standard was a bit different. So I think that they would Photoshop a lot and just kind of like, oh, I thought I had hips or my. But it's. It's hard anyways because when you see yourself on TV for the first time, you know, you always look different on the camera and it can be a little jarring, like, to be on TV and in. @ the spotlight that much at a young. At a young age, I.
Alex Cooper
Guess. So when you look back, like. Because obviously, like, I think it's helpful. Like, I get what you're saying. You're like, wait, I did such a long interview and that's the one thing people picked up on, I.
Nelly Furtado
Think. No, I.
Alex Cooper
Know. No, but.
I. But I think it's. I get what you're saying. It's like that. I think for a lot of people now pick up on things because people finally do feel more comfortable to talk about things that were kind of like, hey, that was kind of a weird decision. Like, am I not good enough as me? Like, yes. When do.
Nelly Furtado
You. Oh, my.
Alex Cooper
God. When you look back, like, when did you feel your most confident when you were.
Nelly Furtado
Younger? You know what's so funny? I feel the most confident.
Alex Cooper
Now. What do you think that.
Nelly Furtado
Is? 100. Wow. It's now. I don't know. Something happened. I don't know. I just had, like, I had the 40s glow up. I was just like, wow. I just feel like me, you know, I feel like I know what happened. I had time to work on my inner life, you know, I had time to work on the things you don't have time to do when you're busy. Right. And then you, you know, when you're burnt out and you don't get to journal, you don't get to, you know, go to therapy, you don't get to go do those things. But I had. I had a good time of three or four years of doing that. So I think by the time I got to this stage of my life, yeah, I just feel super happy with myself even when I get criticized, you know, What I mean, like, I, like, even. I mean, who doesn't read the comments sometimes, right? It's hard not to. I think it's human nature to go, oh, what are people.
Alex Cooper
Saying? Of.
Nelly Furtado
Course. And then you're like, wow, certain things.
Alex Cooper
Right? Like, I feel.
Nelly Furtado
Like. Me personally, I've experienced, like, my body's polarizing. You know what I mean? Which is. So it's crazy to say that, but it is, because I see, like, oh, wow. Why did. It's just like, wow. There's a lot of, like, comments and people arguing about, like, what I look like or, like, you know what I mean? It's so interesting what fuels and triggers people. But I think at the end of the day, it can be really positive because you're starting conversations, and that comes from confidence. And I think that's what it is. It's like when you. When you are confident, I don't know what it is, but I guess sometimes it could be threatening or very.
Alex Cooper
Empowering. I think sometimes, yes. Like, people online are, like, so triggered by certain things, which is interesting because you never know what's gonna trip people up. And the fact that you're saying, like, my body is so polarizing, like, why do you think that's.
Nelly Furtado
Been? Well, first of all, my body's changed a lot. I've had three kids. I'm curvy, you know, and I have a curvy body. And, like, my. If you go to, like, where I'm. Where my parents are from, from San Miguel, my body's no big deal. Like, everybody. Every girl on the beach has the same bum that I.
Alex Cooper
Have. But, like, it's like, I love.
Nelly Furtado
It. It's true, though. So it's all context. And just maybe they're comparing you to another era when maybe you looked different or anything like that. But I've had fun with it because I've been wearing very bodycon clothing, and it's very empowering. And I just kind of. I love. I love feeling this confident, you know, I. I literally didn't even wear underwear on stage till, like, a year.
Alex Cooper
Ago. I'm.
Nelly Furtado
Obsessed. Not even. It's only been six months. I only let the booty out, like, six months.
Alex Cooper
Ago. Nelly, I appreciate.
Nelly Furtado
You. 25 years into my.
Alex Cooper
Career. I love it. I love that you're talking about that, though, because I do feel like people tell you, like, oh, my God, your 20s are going to be the best years of your life. And as much as those are really fun years, I do think the amount of women that I get to. To Speak to. It is very inspiring to hear. Like, no, it actually only gets better because you do get to know when you're young and you're 20, as fun as you can have. You don't fully know yourself yet. You haven't fully lived enough to really, like, know what makes you happy, what makes you sad, what makes you, like, uncomfortable. And it feels like I've now had enough conversations with these, like, really inspiring women to be like, oh, it only gets better. Like, get ready. Like, get ready for your 30s. Get ready for your 40s. Get ready for your 50s. Like, that's really.
Nelly Furtado
Exciting. Yeah, because you learn, you know yourself, and then you can kind of look back and not laugh at yourself, but find things charming. Like, oh, wow. Like, Even in my 30s seems like a lifetime ago. Right. You know what I.
Alex Cooper
Mean? But each decade is so beautiful. But I kind of feel like as women, like, we just get more confident. And when you can block out the noise of all the comments that are negative, it's like, oh, yeah, bitch, my booty looks amazing. Bye. Like, get out of.
Nelly Furtado
Here. When I was 37, I had like a flingation ship. I just coined this.
Alex Cooper
Term. Wait.
Nelly Furtado
Sorry. Flingationship is like a fling relationship. So flingationship of love with someone who was 23. And at the time it was just like, it wasn't that big a deal, but like, I had. I was contextualizing it in my mind, like, oh, that's so interesting because your perspective continues to change as you get older and you reflect on different things in your life differently. Like, my new album just came out, but I was listening to the one before it, not this one. So it's like a diary so you can go back and go. And so for me, music is a diary. So it's kind of fun. It makes it.
Alex Cooper
Fun. Let's talk about some of your iconic songs. Yeah, let's have a song. Okay. First, I just want to discuss. I'm Like a Bird is such a classic. What inspired that.
Nelly Furtado
Song? I'm Like a Bird was inspired by. I was in a relationship in my very early twenties.
Alex Cooper
Right. It was kind of like a.
Nelly Furtado
First relationship kind of first, kind of more like very serious relationships. After my long, sort of long term high school boyfriend, it was the next relationship after that. And yeah, I was in a relationship. And I was out in Los Angeles finishing my album, kind of on my own. I was very isolated. I was probably 20. I was 20 or 21 or something out there kind of in this little apartment just working on music. And my collaborators were Kind of older than me, and they had their girlfriends and their wives up there, but not me. So it was a bit lonely. And they're like, okay, write some new songs, you know, and bring them into the studio. I think it was our first day working in la, trying to finish my album after having made the rest of it in Canada. And I was sitting on a sofa at the time, this place was called the Oakwood Suites here in. In la. And you'd go to the gym and you'd see, like. I don't know, like, kids, I guess, who are doing. I don't know if they're working with Disney or what they're working, but, you know, it was the place that. That people went to make their dreams come true, where they would stay when they weren't yet living in la. So I sat on a sofa and picked up my guitar and I wrote three songs that day. And. And the third one I wrote was I'm Like a Bird. And I'm telling you, the one I wrote before was trash. It was a really bad song. Really corny. Not good. Yeah, you. You never know. You might just be on the edge of something good, you.
Alex Cooper
Know? Do you remember, like, the. When you played it for everyone? Like, your team? Like, was everyone.
Nelly Furtado
Like. Yes, my manager was at the studio. Yeah, my manager, Chris was at the studio.
Alex Cooper
And.
Nelly Furtado
And. And he's like, oh, okay, I want to hear what you wrote today. So I played him the three songs, and I was convinced the corny one was good. Oh, it was really bad. I can. I can sing.
Alex Cooper
It. Wait, please sing it for me in a.
Nelly Furtado
Second. But, like, it's really.
Alex Cooper
Crazy. No, but anyways, so how corny are we.
Nelly Furtado
Talking? All right, so this is the one that I thought was better. Okay, then I'm like a bird. Okay, it goes. Okay, wait. It's like, he was sure and I was a pussy hiding in the corner. I couldn't come out. He was sure and I was a pussy hiding in the corner. I couldn't come out. And I think the end was like, here, kitty, kitty. Like, I swear to God, I'm not even kidding. I thought that was better than I'm Like a Bird, which I then was the third song on the. The demo that I'd made that.
Alex Cooper
Morning.
Nelly Furtado
Nelly. No. And my manager said, I don't know. Yeah, okay. I think. I think the bird one's really good. They both had bird themes. One was Cocksure's Like a.
Alex Cooper
Rooster. I am literally, like, a little zany. No, this is, like, the best thing I'VE heard all day to know that it was between like, like a. And a versus a.
Nelly Furtado
Bird.
Alex Cooper
Yeah. Oh, my God. Watch that literally trend on tick tock now. People are gonna cup.
Nelly Furtado
That. Isn't it funny, though? Because I actually forgot about that till, like, like a couple months ago. And I was like, whoa, that's crazy that I'd written a very horrible song and a song that might be quite good right.
Alex Cooper
After. I mean, I'm like a bird Is I feel like forever going to be iconic. I'm curious because that song is so inspiring, right? Have you ever walked. Walked away from someone that you felt like was holding you back, like, in a romantic.
Nelly Furtado
Relationship? Well, that song was about that. So that song, I did. I did want to. I did want to break up, you know, with that guy. So. So I kind of wrote the.
Alex Cooper
Song. Oh, my.
God. Did you write the song and then break up with.
Nelly Furtado
It? Well, I sent it to him and he. And he. And he said, hey, I feel like I heard the.
Alex Cooper
Song. Like, what's up.
Nelly Furtado
Nelly? Yeah, I did. Yeah. So.
Alex Cooper
You. No context. You just sent him the.
Nelly Furtado
Song? Well, I was. Oh, this is my latest thing. Yeah, no, but no, I think I ended up that. I ended that relationship on tour, but it was literally. It wasn't very. It was like from a pay phone, you know, on tour. Like, I was with my band, you know, like, it was one of those moments, but it's very normal. It's kind of like, you know, your college boyfriend or something, you know, and then you move on. So that was my College is like making music and touring, so I only did one year of college. So then I met him around that time. So I had to make my dreams come.
Alex Cooper
True. And you had.
Nelly Furtado
To. I had things to do and places to be.
Alex Cooper
So. But like, not like a bat. As sad as it is to get broken up with for him, it is kind of iconic that there is a man out there that can be like, that song is about me. Like, that is pretty cool. I'm sorry. Like, I would take that song being written about me. Icon. Icon. Historically, are you usually the one ending relationships or are.
Nelly Furtado
You. Oh, I like this question. I've been dumped before. Okay. Yeah, only once. Oh, yeah, it is a flex. No, that's not true. Two or three times, but more like when I was younger. But. But yeah, like, I. Being. Having your heart actually broken by someone that doesn't want to be with you anymore really hurts really badly. Yeah, it's really, really upsetting. And I hadn't experienced that till like, much later in life till quite recently in the last five years. And that was really hard for me because I wanted to hang on. I wanted to hang on, and I didn't get it. And I had built up a lot of expectations and things based on things that maybe were more about me and selfishness. Right. And then it was like, okay, like, when do I come to grips with reality? But I've also left. Yes. I've been the ender, breaker, upper.
Alex Cooper
Yeah. Do you think it's easier to be the person breaking up or getting broken up.
Nelly Furtado
With? Oh, my God. It's hard. Easier to break up with someone than to have somebody dump you. Being dumped is the.
Alex Cooper
Worst. It is pretty hard, I.
Nelly Furtado
Think. No, no, no. It's the best, though, because they tell us. Because then you go. It's that whole thing like, you gotta hit dirt, man. You gotta. You gotta hit rock bottom. I have hit rock bottom before. And it's a. It's beautiful because then I just come out so.
Alex Cooper
Strong.
Nelly Furtado
Right. And it's good. And I'm not saying it's like, perfect. And I'm like, oh, you know, we wear our wounds, don't we? Yeah, like, our wounds never really go away. I don't think we can work on them. You know what I mean? We can work on them, but, like, that's okay. You know, you have stuff to deal with, stuff to work through. But. But yeah, I think. I think it could be a good place. Love, bottom of, like, oh, you know what I go back to a lot. Oh, he's just not that into you. Just look up. If you're ever struggling with somebody who's broken up with you or somebody, even anybody, a flingation, something like that, and you feel they're not giving you the attention you want and. And something's off. Just like, go look up quotes from, he's just not that into you. It is so healing because you're not often. I've done it before, I think, twice in my life where I'm like, oh, humbling. It's good. It's good stuff. Me too. Yeah. I'm obsessed with.
Alex Cooper
You. You're like, yeah, it's great stuff. It really just knocks you back to.
Nelly Furtado
Reality. Yeah. Because it's that whole if he wanted to, he would thing.
Alex Cooper
Right? Absolutely. It's so.
Nelly Furtado
True. It is. And we're girls. If we wanted to, we would.
Alex Cooper
Right?
Done.
Okay. One of my personal favorite songs of yours is Maneater. How would you describe the woman you're singing about.
Nelly Furtado
Essentially? This is so interesting. So I really did kind of base that off of a woman that was friends with at the time, that was like a colleague, was like engaged to her, and she was a knockout out and just really was. Did personify that man eater energy. And what at the time. What I really, really felt at the time when I was making that whole album with Timbaland and when we were making Maneater is I did feel very. I was actually only about 26 or something when I wrote that song, but I felt like there's something really empowering about masculine and feminine energy together. Other. You know what I mean? When somebody embodies both. And I was trying to capture that in a song. And I really feel that when I play it live, it feels primal. It feels like it's for everyone. It's like. It's like almost like a verb. Like you're man eatering. You're like man eatering right now. Yeah, I think it's an energy.
Alex Cooper
You know, it's such a confident song. I actually play a part of it in my tour because I'm like, you do? Oh, I can't wait for you to see it, Nelly. It's like all of these men come up and they're like magic mic dancers around me, and I'm just in my element. I'm the only woman on stage. And it's like. It is like this empowering feeling when you hear that.
Nelly Furtado
Song. I love that. I love that for.
Alex Cooper
People. It's so good. Did anyone in your team ever. When you have like, the song, you're like the pussy cock, the bird, the man eater, promiscuous girl. Did anyone ever think that it was like, too edgy or was everyone around you like, we love.
Nelly Furtado
This? No, not really. I think I was like, just making that record in Miami. I was feeling the vibes. I was feeling myself. I'd spent all day in it, bathing suit, like playing with my kid on the beach, you know, like I was feeling myself in the sun, to be totally.
Alex Cooper
Honest. And I was newly.
Nelly Furtado
Single. See, every.
Alex Cooper
Time. God. Newly single. Brought us maniscuous girl. Oh, my.
Nelly Furtado
God.
Alex Cooper
Yeah. That's.
Nelly Furtado
Amazing. I just kind of had fresh energy that kind of seeing the world through new, like, I guess, red colored.
Alex Cooper
Glasses. I love.
Nelly Furtado
It. Yeah, the energy is very, like red and like passionate. But also with promiscuous. I actually did an write that chorus. It was Timbaland's idea. It was. Yeah, it was. And then I sat down and finished the lyrics with Attitude. This amazing rapper that he was working with at the time, and I was hesitant. But my good friend Jim Bean sat me down. He's like, I think this is authentic and I really like this energy. And you're. You sound great on it. And I did know, I did know that I like laced up the verses and I sounded good and all that. And now when I sing it, I love it. I. It's like karaoke.
Alex Cooper
Time. It's Promiscuous is another one of my favorites. I made a really bad music video too when I was younger, which you'll never see. Can you tell me though, like from that song, how has your. Because it is a very again, emboldening, empowering song. How has your relationship to your sexuality evolved over the.
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Details. How has your relationship to your sexuality evolved over the.
Nelly Furtado
Years? That's a good question. And I will also give a quick shout out to the music I grew up on. So Salt and Peppa, TLC Trailblazers those girl groups in the late 90s. When I was a teenager, I was coming of age 14, 15, I was, was blessed to have that music to listen to. It was like Mary J. Blige, tlc, Salt and Peppa. And they were giving this empowered sexuality and choice. It was about choice. It was about I am in control of my choices. And that was the energy we wanted to capture with a song like Promiscus. It's a choice. It's an even playing field. I think to feel sexy, to feel sensual, you have to spend time on yourself, you have to spend time alone, you have to spend time just. You have to tap into pleasure, which is joy. Right. Joy is pleasure. Right. So if you really feel and, and embodied like in your body, like, I'm not gonna lie, like I feel, I feel pretty sexy when I'm like dancing, you know, like I'm in the dance studio because it's such an act of self love to apply your mind and body to something like choreography and to just be, to feel that, I would say it's like, like almost like an.
Alex Cooper
Equilibrium.
Nelly Furtado
Yeah. And I think from there you can feel very confident, you know. And I think it's something you develop. I think your sexuality is something you develop, you know, as when you start, you know, whenever in your early teens. And then you do you just develop for the self, you know. And I think that's a healthy place to start, you know, I think.
Alex Cooper
That'S such a good like piece of advice because I think sometimes women can really feel like, oh my gosh, like whether they were repressed when they were younger or religion or whatever folds into it or shame. Like sometimes we can feel like maybe I just am not as sexual of a person as I want it to be. Or maybe I don't feel as empowered to, like, own it. And it's really like, if you know, the more you know yourself, the more you'll know what you enjoy and the more that you'll feel confident to be able to.
Nelly Furtado
Explore. But it's almost like it's a quiet game. You know what I.
Alex Cooper
Mean?
Yes. You're just on the search for whatever, like, makes you feel your best and no one can tell you and you shouldn't ever search for it through someone.
Nelly Furtado
Else. No, I mean, I think people can teach you, you know, Like, I think you can grow in relationships. Like, I think you can grow and you can kind of like pick up things as you go and like that ebb and flow again. But at the end of the day, yeah, you gotta feel. You gotta feel.
Alex Cooper
Good. You gotta feel good, Right? Do you fall in love.
Nelly Furtado
Easily? I'm changing. I used to. That was a.
Alex Cooper
Fear. Yes.
Nelly Furtado
Alex. And I'm a lover. I love love. I need muses. I'm a muses girl. Like, I need. I think it's because I'm an artist, I'm a writer, I create. And it's like I grew up thinking and just feeling like I'm. I love, like lovers. Like, I love to the. I love the idea of being just really inspired and the joy in dating and like that. It's like there's nothing like that. But I also enjoy my solitude so much that I have had people ask me, like, friends, like colleagues, like, why are you even in a relationship? You have so much going on in your mind. You should just date yourself. How are you even able to be with. And it is true. I like my solitude so much that sometimes it is hard for me to be in a.
Alex Cooper
Relationship.
Nelly Furtado
Yeah. Because I'm just.
Alex Cooper
Like. Like, get away from.
Nelly Furtado
Me. It's too hard. Yeah. It's like I always felt like, more comfortable to be. Like more like a. Like a. Like a. An enjoyable kind of like. I'm not gonna say part time. I don't know what to.
Alex Cooper
Say.
No. What was the thing you said.
Nelly Furtado
Earlier? I don't.
Alex Cooper
Know. Flip relationship. No, a. What was.
Nelly Furtado
It? Oh, a flingation.
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Chip.
Nelly Furtado
You're. You're in your.
Alex Cooper
Asians. You're always wanting to be in your fling. Asianship. Is that how you say.
Nelly Furtado
It? Yeah. Yeah, there you go. Playing Asian ship, I think. And just kind of. I don't know. I follow my. My passions and my lust and my. My interest too. I do have adhd and I think it's Affected me. Women experience it differently than men. I was only recently diagnosed, but I read a great book, and it talked about how even as women with adhd, we can pick partners that kind of make us feel like we're in the passenger seat because we want somebody else to make all the decisions for us, and we just want to coast. Right. Interesting. And I found that really interesting when I read that, because I was like, oh, yeah. And I think when I'm on my own, I'm more able to kind of navigate to my whole life in a way that works for my brain and for my comfort levels. Oh, interesting. But I do love love, and I do love falling in love, and I find that fun still. But I think my priorities have.
Alex Cooper
Changed. I mean, I think that's amazing to even just acknowledge your priorities have changed. And you even talking about, like, recognizing something that can affect your relationships, you being like, I don't want to just coast. Like, I do want to have more control over my relationships, even you just recognizing that will probably affect the next relationship you get into and how you approach it.
Nelly Furtado
Right. Yes. And you want to stay yourself. I think that's the most important thing. You don't. I. I have had a tendency to lose myself, Yourself in relationships. So.
Alex Cooper
Yeah. A part of why you returned to music was because you were going through a difficult breakup. You talk about in these songs, that experience. Can you share, like, what made this breakup so painful for.
Nelly Furtado
You? Oh, my God, I need a sip of.
Alex Cooper
Water. Yeah, let's take a sip of water. I saw your body just go two of an hour, Sweetie, where do we.
Nelly Furtado
Begin? Yeah, you know, I don't know. Isn't it sort of like life, you know, and. And then again. Again, we talk about this experience even when you're in your 20s and you're growing everybody. I mean, I always wanted to have a family, you know what I mean, and have children and this. We all have that dream, you know, of just kind of settling down and like, oh, now I'm at the yellow brick road. This is so great. Oh, wait. And now I'm at the yellow brick road. Right. And it comes in all these variations, but I think I just had that feeling, like I had finally kind of arrived at that, you know, yellow brick road. And it was, like, gonna be that for me. And then it turned out that it wasn't. And that's why it hit so hard. You know what I.
Alex Cooper
Mean? I.
Nelly Furtado
Absolutely. Because it was the first time it had felt, you know, like that. Right. You know, where it was like, oh, you know, where you felt like, you know, you had that profound sense of a certain kind of peace, you know what I mean? And a certain kind of certainty. Right. And it's that idea when the certainty just kind of gets pulled out from under you or the rug gets pulled out and you go, oh, oh, my God, I have a lot to learn still. I have a lot to learn about me. And you might have had a horrible experience, you know, and for sure, like, I went through a very difficult time where I think I accepted some things that. That I would never accept now, you know, in terms of the way you're.
Alex Cooper
Treated. Yeah. And could you share just a little bit, like.
Nelly Furtado
Not. Yeah, I.
Alex Cooper
Can. Just for women listening, like, of course I know you can't see it when you're in.
Nelly Furtado
It. Sometimes you cannot at all. You cannot see it at all when you're in it. And sometimes we just love so hard and we love. And I'm sure there's women out there too. You know, when we become mothers, we're quite vulnerable when we become mother because we just want what's best for our kids and we want to protect them. And I think that in general, I'll say that it can really happen to anybody. Feeling powerless, you know what I mean? You could have all the money in the world and all the resources, but in the mind, really, that is your only wealth is in your mind. And so if you can't feel strong enough and clear enough to move out of a situation that might be toxic for you and not the best for you and also abusive in any way. You know, I think that, yeah, like, I'm definitely, like, not here to, like, tear, you know, of course, anyone down or anything. But I think that it's honest to say that it is hard when you're in a relationship that has that imbalance, I will say, and I. And. And abusive qualities. It is hard to. It is hard to see outside of it because you isolate yourself. You stop talking to your friends. You don't tell, you know, your friends the truth about what's going on in your life. And you live in a bubble, and it's hard to admit, you know, that you have chosen to not say anything. Right. It's hard to admit to.
Alex Cooper
Yourself. It.
Nelly Furtado
Is. It is. Right. And then on top of that, the love. Right. Love, you know, keeps you there because. Oh, you wanna. You know, and I. And I will say that too. Like, I think as women, I think we tend to sacrifice our happiness sometimes. You know, once we're. Once we're in it, of course, once we're. Once we're. We've fallen in love. Right. We tend to. We sacrifice ourselves sometimes. Yeah. And we think we're doing the right.
Alex Cooper
Thing.
Yeah. So.
Often. And I. I appreciate you sharing that too, because I think when you are in those situations and you get so isolated, a lot of times you're like, how would I even begin to unravel this? Right. Like, how do I even begin to get away and like, to restart.
Nelly Furtado
Fear. Fear is huge. Huge too, because when you have. When you fear, you know, when you have fear, that can be a very powerful emotion. You can be afraid, but you can. It kind of like you created in your mind, you know, you can be afraid, like, oh, what's the person gonna do to me or say about me or like, you know, etc. Etc. Or, I don't know, you just. You fear. You fear that. And again, it's heightened when you have, you know, like, you know, kids and like, there's whole other things to think about or.
Alex Cooper
I. And I. I also agree with you because I have talked about this on the show before too, of, like, the thought sometimes of leaving and all the things that you think it would take to leave, it just feels more daunting almost than just.
Nelly Furtado
Staying.
Alex Cooper
Yeah. Can you share? Like, how. How do you.
Nelly Furtado
Know? I know I have a song about it on my.
Alex Cooper
Album. It's. And I appreciate you writing about it because it's like, it's so real and so many women listening to this are gonna be like, nelly, thank.
Nelly Furtado
You. Oh.
Alex Cooper
Water. Thank you for sharing, though, because it's like, I do think, and it's not like, on you to help all these women, but it is like, the more we talk about it, the more people I know someone's going to be watching at home right now being like, oh, my God, if Nelly was going through this and she says that she got out of it, like, I can too. Like, can you share how you knew it was time and like, how you actually took this time to get away?
Nelly Furtado
Essentially? I think there were moments where I almost had the strength, but again, like, something would keep me there, you know, where I was like, oh, this is, you know, this is the moment. So I think that in, I will say having remarkable friends, like, I'm very lucky. I have some really, really, really amazing friends, really core, like childhood friends that have been there for me my whole entire life. And they just. They just kind of knew what to say to me and knew what was too much or too little and even the hard stuff, you Know, I have some friends that I will say to ladies out there. You know what? Those people that are telling you what you don't want to hear, those are the ones you need to keep close. Hopefully they know you well enough to not repel you with judgment or anything like that. It's not judgment if you. You can sense when it's love. And I think everyone has someone, you know, maybe one person or one voice in their life that is maybe, like, reminding you when stuff is not okay and, like, what your worth is and what behavior is unacceptable if you cannot see it for.
Alex Cooper
Yourself. It's so.
True. It's like you just need one.
Nelly Furtado
Person. Yeah, you.
Alex Cooper
Do. One.
Nelly Furtado
Person. Yeah. To just kind of be like, no, actually, I'm not gonna talk to you anymore. And.
Alex Cooper
If.
Nelly Furtado
Right. Or whatnot. But, like. But tough love doesn't work all the time. But, like, it's in doses, right? And I think I'm trying to think of another thing that helped me. I think, Ooh, jeez. That's such a good question. I think you have aha. Moments. You know what I mean? They just have sometimes, like, a moment where you're like, okay, you know? And then sometimes I guess I was lucky in a way, because maybe, like, like, on top of it, I. I wasn't really the one who chose at the end of the day, like, you know what I mean? I went through a rough time, but then at the end of the day, it wasn't really my decision. But then I quickly learned that then, okay, now I'm doing me now. You know, I'm doing me.
Alex Cooper
Now. It's such a vicious cycle that you can get so wrapped up into, and then when you get released from something like that, it can almost feel like withdrawal symptoms because you're, like, so used to the up and the down and the toxic.
Nelly Furtado
You. And then for some reason, your brain only feeds you happy memories. It's really weird.
Alex Cooper
Nelly. It is so up. You're like, maybe she was actually.
Nelly Furtado
The restaurant, the coffee shop, like, the movie we went.
Alex Cooper
To. And it's, like, very.
Nelly Furtado
Weird. It's so that's a tough phase. Yeah, that's tough phase. When your brain feeds you all these happy memories. Let's flood you with that. Because there are happy memories, right? That's why you. That's why you stay there, because there are some great things, right? So it's. It's tricky to navigate. It is tricky. It's a big mind F U.
Alex Cooper
C K. But I really appreciate you like, talking about it that way, too, because I know so many women write in feeling like, I feel so much shame that I'm even thinking about this person that hurt me. And I feel like it's like, don't feel shame.
Nelly Furtado
Right? No, don't feel shame about it. It's not natural. You know what I mean? Like, it's. It's natural to want to. You know, to still feel a multitude of feelings, and it. Yeah, it's just totally normal. It's a process. You know what I mean? Because the truth is, it's like anything, right? Like, how many band aids do you have? Right. And how long do those take to heal? It takes.
Alex Cooper
Time. What is a difficult lesson that you've learned about love that you would tell your kids one.
Nelly Furtado
Day? Oh, my.
Alex Cooper
God.
Nelly Furtado
Love. It's funny, I almost call my album let's Be Honest, you Know nothing About.
Alex Cooper
Love. Oh, my God.
Nelly Furtado
Stop. I'm.
Alex Cooper
Sorry.
Nelly Furtado
Serious. That was my. It was either called Seven or Let's Be Honest, you Know nothing About Love. Maybe I'll call the.
Alex Cooper
Deluxe. That I was about to say. That's what you call it in your head. And then to the world at Seven, you're like, what it really is. Let's be honest, you Know nothing about love. Oh, my.
God.
Nelly Furtado
What? Like the story of everyone's life.
Alex Cooper
Right? It's like.
Nelly Furtado
We. We know love. Of course. Like, we. I know great love. You know, OB I'm blessed to be a mother and have wonderful family and friends and things like that. So I know what love is. Is. But if I was to give advice on romantic love to my children, I'm gonna. I'm gonna vote for the golden retriever. I'm sorry. You gotta be best friends. I think you have to have an authentic, true friendship. If it's about partnership, you know, forget all the other stuff. It's about partnership. But also, stay you, man. Stay you.
Alex Cooper
Yeah. And listen to your friends. When you have a gut feeling, your friends are usually.
Nelly Furtado
Always. Oh, that's the other thing. Your gut is always right. The little voice in your head that tells you. And this is not even this, like. And this is past relationship, but right. The little.
Alex Cooper
Voice. It's always.
Nelly Furtado
Right.
Alex Cooper
Yeah. And it's so hard because I know it's so cliche to say, but it's like, then why do we always ignore our gut? Why are we always.
Nelly Furtado
Like. But that's like we gaslight ourselves. I have a song, actually. I think I'm gonna put on my deluxe called Gaslight. Yeah. Another album title was Red.
Alex Cooper
Flags. Oh, my God. Too.
Nelly Furtado
Relatable. I'll take these. So anyways, yeah. So gaslight. We gaslight ourselves in a way. You know what I mean? Because it's like, boom, boom, boom, boom. Oh, it's. Yeah, it's like an echo.
Alex Cooper
Chamber. Can you.
Share? Like, how do you get your confidence back after a.
Nelly Furtado
Breakup? Oh, me? Kind of like exercise and going out. I started to go out a lot. Oh. After my breakup, I was ready. I was like. Because it was such a long, dwindling breakup, but by the end, I was like, okay, I'm dating now. This is awesome. Like, I'm gonna date after we did, you know, all the ending stuff, and then I. And I. Yeah, just went out and had fun and just. I think I, like, really found a lot of joy in, like, dressing up again and, like, clothing and fashion.
Alex Cooper
And.
Nelly Furtado
Yeah. Yeah. Because I think I was, like, really kind of wearing, like, a mommy uniform for, like, three.
Alex Cooper
Years. What was your.
Nelly Furtado
Mom. My place was a block away from the.
Alex Cooper
Target. Oh, what were we buying at.
Nelly Furtado
Target? Okay. I. Well, I do remember taking my. My teenager on a tour of Target of a university. She was shopping for universities out in California. I thought my shirt was nice, but it. It would look like a tablecloth because it was blue and white. White checkers. But it wasn't even a flattering cut. Okay. And I didn't have time to shop, so I would just grab, like, whatever. I saw nothing against Target, but, like, I love.
Alex Cooper
Target.
Nelly Furtado
Yeah. Yeah. Target's fun. You can find great stuff. But I think that I didn't.
Alex Cooper
Diversify. Got.
Nelly Furtado
It. I wasn't really. Like, I didn't have time. I didn't have.
Alex Cooper
Time.
Nelly Furtado
Right. Or I just wore stuff that was baggy, which is totally normal. Like, I breastfed all. All my kids. So, like, of course you're gonna. You need easy access. So you just wore the boobs you.
Alex Cooper
Did. So you just weren't feeling yourself as much. And then once you got through the breakup, you're like, you know what? I'm gonna, like, start putting my cute outfits on. I'm gonna do my glam. I'm gonna get out there. I'm gonna go have.
Nelly Furtado
Fun. Well, the studio helped me, too. So I started going to the studio, and I started writing, and I started recording music again, and I got so many emotions out. Oh, my God. I got so many emotions out at the studio. I would cry in there. I would get angry in there. It was so good for me. Such a good.
Alex Cooper
Therapy. Wait, is it. Is it true that you actually wrote the, like, 400 songs I.
Nelly Furtado
Did.
Alex Cooper
Yeah. Nelly, can you just, like, rewind and tell me, like, how, like, if.
Nelly Furtado
This house was my studio, what I would do is I would adjust. Like, we're in LA today, so I'd be like, who's in LA today? Which of my friends are in la? Which producers, which writers? Which friends? And that's what informed this album. This album is really just like a let's party type of album because I was getting over a breakup and I was like. My social life became the studio. Oh. So, like, you know, like, I, I, you know, I don't. I wasn't in the mood to, like, go away and write songs by myself on a guitar. It was like, no, we're bringing everybody in. I would invite, like, people after their concerts to come hang out and make music with me. Yeah. And then my daughter was really coaching me on, too, because she was having fun in there too. So it was like, we're making music now. We're, we're, we're. We're. We're doing. We're this, like, really cooking now and, like, really having.
Alex Cooper
Fun. How do you pick between 400 songs of what to put on an.
Nelly Furtado
Album? I like to stay up late making music till really late. So, like, the sun comes up and I get really inspired and I get my bongo draw. Just.
Alex Cooper
Joking. Picturing you in there with a bongo drum. Like, let's go, let's.
Nelly Furtado
Go. My djembe and I just go till seven. No, but it's pretty much, yeah. We just like a bunch of music. We just have fun. And the way I pick the songs. Oh, my God. It's almost like I always say, like, you know when you go and, like, you. You put flowers together at a flower shop, it's like, why do you like those.
Alex Cooper
Flowers?
Nelly Furtado
Right? And I think it's also like, whatever goes together. And it's like a bit like a fashion collection, just kind of putting it.
Alex Cooper
Together. I love.
Nelly Furtado
It. One session I had had, like, a bunch of different people who, like, didn't even necessarily make music. Like, I think at one time, like, Like a. Like a comedian ended up in there, and I was like, oh, this is what you got. Like, I'm very like. Like, I'm. I'm a hippie that way. Like, if you were, I would make you.
Alex Cooper
Sing.
Nelly Furtado
No. Yes. I believe anybody can write a song. I've done that before. I've done, like.
Alex Cooper
Art. Wait, let's art shows right now. How do you.
Nelly Furtado
Start. Right now.
Alex Cooper
Okay. How do you start writing a song? Like, where does you even.
Nelly Furtado
Start. I'd be like, what's your favorite childhood vacation you went on?
Alex Cooper
Ooh. Ooh. Like.
Nelly Furtado
Disneyland. See how it's got you in your field?
Alex Cooper
Yeah. I'm like, oh, my.
Nelly Furtado
God. So we start there. Okay. Disneyland. So, like in a Disneyland. So what did you, like, like about.
Alex Cooper
It? Oh, just like the euphoric feeling of seeing these things come to life that I always saw on.
Nelly Furtado
Tv.
Alex Cooper
Yes.
Nelly Furtado
Yes. Just like. So you'd be like, oh, like euphoria. Everything's telling me a story. Yeah. Oh, seen it before. Yeah. Seen it before. Yeah. Yeah. You know what I.
Alex Cooper
Mean? I am chilled. That's how I write. That's how I write. Starts a song in two seconds.
Nelly Furtado
Yeah. So then we'd go somewhere. Somewhere with it if I keep going. But.
Alex Cooper
Yeah. I am.
Obsessed.
Yeah. I am not okay that you just said thank.
Nelly Furtado
You. Fireworks above the castle blowing my mind. No, your boy say it every.
Alex Cooper
Night. It's like, whatever, Nelly. Me just being like, okay for the rest of the interview, just saying.
Nelly Furtado
No. And then we call it.
Alex Cooper
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Now@Domino'S.Com. what is your stance on breakup.
Nelly Furtado
Sex? Oh, that's a good question. I mean, I think it's necessary at a certain.
Alex Cooper
Stage. It.
Nelly Furtado
Is. Let's be honest. Aren't we honest on this.
Alex Cooper
Show? We're being very honest today, Nelly. I think that's all we're.
Sponsor/Ad Voice
Doing. Come.
Alex Cooper
On. I love.
Nelly Furtado
It. I mean, it's all a tech energy. You have to, like, you know, squeeze the lemon, right? It's like, squeeze the lemon until the juice is gone. So that's what it's like. So then I'm one day like, well, this lemon has no more juice, so no more breakup sex. Yeah. I think it's.
Alex Cooper
Natural. That.
Nelly Furtado
Is. And I want to hear from other people.
Alex Cooper
Too. Yeah, I think that's a great take. I love.
Nelly Furtado
That. Right? Guys, when they break up with something, they're like.
Sponsor/Ad Voice
Yeah.
Nelly Furtado
Yes. Well, yeah, we might have seen each other once or twice last.
Alex Cooper
Week. Literally. Literally. Okay, so are you single right now? Okay, you're single when I'm dating.
Nelly Furtado
Though. Like, I'm dating, but I'm dating different.
Alex Cooper
People. Oh.
Nelly Furtado
Love. Just.
Alex Cooper
Like. Yeah, you've got, like, a little roster going.
Nelly Furtado
On. I mean, I roster, but it's like, I feel like that's derivative. Yeah. You're like, I've got a. I like the.
Alex Cooper
Roster. I've got a plethora of.
Nelly Furtado
Options. No, I mean, I call it the flingation. So it's like, ooh. Like, it's like a potential. I will say that I have, like. There's different potentialities, and there's different, like, levels of, like, interest and just kind of. And romance in different areas. I'll describe it that way. Are you going, so, yes, I'm single.
Alex Cooper
Again.
Nelly Furtado
Love. I've been single for a couple.
Alex Cooper
Years. What is your ideal.
Nelly Furtado
Date? I went on a really nice date.
Alex Cooper
Recently.
Nelly Furtado
Oh. Where it was daytime.
Alex Cooper
Okay. Right. Yeah, we love.
Nelly Furtado
That. Yeah. I kind of like. I think I recommend the daytime date for a first date because it's broad daylight. So the particular date, it was very hot, so I was like very sweaty. But that was unfortunate. I actually had boobs.
Alex Cooper
Wet. A.
Nelly Furtado
Classic. I know. Or just like dinner, like that type of thing. I love being like. Yeah. Just kind of like chill. Yeah. Just going. Going out for dinner. But I like the idea of dressing up for dates sometimes. If it's appropriate. But ironically, I like never have time. So like, get ready so fast. But, but, but I do like that idea.
Alex Cooper
Yeah. Would you ever bring a guy to one of your.
Nelly Furtado
Shows? I brought guys to my shows. Yeah. But it's like, it's not really fair because they just go, oh my God.
Alex Cooper
Right. They're gonna just like fall in love immediately. They're like, I love.
Nelly Furtado
You. It's like, show me. So different. But it is cool because you get to show like what you do. True. You know what I.
Alex Cooper
Mean? But they're immediately in.
Nelly Furtado
Love. I.
Alex Cooper
Mean.
Nelly Furtado
Yeah. Yeah. It's pretty awesome. The concert's awesome. Like, it's.
Alex Cooper
Cool. You know.
Nelly Furtado
It'S. See me go up there and do my.
Alex Cooper
Thing. Like. Oh, my God.
Nelly Furtado
Yeah. So I'm. I'm. Yeah, I'm strategic about fighting when though. Right. It's not always like appropriate or the right setting, but for sure, it's almost like what would be like the best weapon in the weapon shed? What will we be called? Like, what would Like a.
Alex Cooper
Machete. Oh, like a.
Nelly Furtado
Machete. The show is like a machete move. Yeah. You'd be like, come to my show. So like you can't pull out the machete right away. You want to time it out anyway.
Alex Cooper
What? I'm obsessed with.
Nelly Furtado
You. That's your next.
Alex Cooper
Question. You're like moving on. Oh, my God. The machete is the show. Nelly. The machete. No. Heck yeah. I'm done. We're moving on. What are some non negotiables that you're looking for in a partner? Like you're like, if they don't.
Nelly Furtado
Have this, I'm out up the self worth work. Yeah. For actual partnership, like long term partner. I would want somebody who's worked on their self in an authentic way. Not in like a surface way, but like more like this, the spiritual side. Like a little bit of exploration there. You know what I mean? But like authentically and also, like some growth in that department. I would say maybe growth and like, specifically, like, ego, I.
Alex Cooper
Think. Let's just.
Nelly Furtado
Pause. We need some third eye coming into the.
Alex Cooper
Mix. Wait, like, it's, it's, it's when the ego is out of control. It's like it can. Especially when you start dating a guy, you can first think it's confident and, like, hot, but then all of a sudden you're like, oh, you're a.
Nelly Furtado
Dick. But, yeah, you want somebody confident. Yeah, but, but confidence comes from, I think, a genuine good heart. You know what I mean? I think, I think for partners, you want somebody with a good heart. You want somebody.
Alex Cooper
Nice. Nice?
Nelly Furtado
Yeah. Like, I don't know why, but, like, sometimes we're attracted to, you know, people aren't that nice. Just like, to people. Watch how they talk to, like, the people you encounter, like, on your date or whatever when you're dating. Like, how they treat your friends, your family, if your friends like them, if your family likes them. All those big green flags, you.
Alex Cooper
Know, Sometimes we don't listen to our friends and like, our friends at some point don't really care. Like, they have no agenda other than wanting you to be.
Nelly Furtado
Happy.
Alex Cooper
Yes. So when people, when you guys are trying to, like, like, math it in your head, like, well, my friends just don't get it. They don't see that good side of him. It's like, no, no, your friends just want you to be happy. They don't care. Listen to your friends. If they're like, he's a dick, there's a reason. And they're only seeing a percentage. How crazy is that? And they can even see he's not a good person. But we rationalize in our head.
Nelly Furtado
And it's a lot of.
Alex Cooper
Rationalization. Okay, back to your music. You ended up taking a break from music. Were you nervous at all, like, how people were going to react with you coming.
Nelly Furtado
Back? Back? I'm very lucky because I got to tippy toe, like, very slowly into the waters. And then things kind of lined up in a really cool way. So started with. I was already making music by the time I kind of showed up on stage after five years with Drake at an event in Toronto. And I sang and it was like, oh, this is fun. I realized, oh, maybe I have something new to offer. This I've worked on myself. I feel different. Maybe I'll be better at my job now. You know, I'm older, better, wiser, that tribe. Then I started booking more shows. I booked a show in Australia where I Met Dom Dolla. Then we make this track and then we're playing it at Lollapalooza and Coachella. And it's like, crazy. And his raves that he throws after his shows, like, just the whole thing so fun. So everything lined up so nicely that I was making my album while I was getting out there again. So it wasn't so scary. Right. It was baby steps. And that, to me, was a.
Alex Cooper
Blessing. What did you learn about yourself from writing this new album?
Album? Oh, my.
Nelly Furtado
God. Wow. I learned that I've become an even better, like, producer and person who brings people together because I got to try new ideas. Like, I got to try, like, like, Like I have, like, like, weird juxtapositions of people and sounds on. On. On my album. And I think that's just because, oh, my God, I love people genuinely. I have such a curious.
Alex Cooper
Mind. Like, I told you, like, I'd.
Nelly Furtado
Love to have you in the studio and I want you to sing. So any. I am more interested in, like, the craft of making it almost than the outcome. Does that make sense?
Alex Cooper
Yeah. Yeah.
Nelly Furtado
Interesting. Yeah. Like, I like. Oh, the mad scientist part, you know, so, like. And I found such confidence in there this time around. I've always been confident, but this time I was more open hearted. Like, before, I used to not like writing songs in front of people, and now I don't care. I would just turn the mic on like this, have everything blast through the speakers. It feels like you're at a live show. And then we just, like, hang out and have a good time. So I think I grew in.
Alex Cooper
Vulnerability. That's.
Nelly Furtado
Amazing. My vulnerability.
Alex Cooper
Yeah. It's really incredible to see how your life has evolved and, like, you're such an incredible, talented performer and producer and you built an incredible family and you. You have these gorgeous children. Last question. What are you the most proud of with this new album as a whole? And, like, why do you want people to go stream.
Nelly Furtado
It? Oh, my God. I think the album has a lot of emotion. I think it has a lot of purity. And if you just want to escape, like, if you just want to feel like, you know that music that makes you feel something for real, I will humbly say that I think a lot of the songs do make you really feel something and make you really escape. Can I. And I spent my time making it and I. I definitely think it's just really good, quality.
Alex Cooper
Music. Genuinely Nelly.
Nelly Furtado
Furtado. But of course, I'm just thinking about, what do I make now? Like, I'm just never satisfied.
Alex Cooper
You. I mean, you have 400 in the.
Nelly Furtado
Bank. Like, meanwhile, I'm like, it's.
Alex Cooper
Aight. Stop. Would you ever pull the songs from the 400 and make another album out of them.
Nelly Furtado
Or. No, I'm working on my deluxe right.
Alex Cooper
Now. Who is your dream.
Nelly Furtado
Collab? Dream collabo. I mean, I still. I still think it'd be cool to have a song with Drake. I think people would love that because we're both Canadian. The lore, you know, Toronto.
Alex Cooper
Lore. Can you please. Yeah, that's our last request is. Yes. Anello Furtado Drake song. Putting in the crust now.
Nelly Furtado
Done. Yeah, I think it would. I think it would be really.
Alex Cooper
Good. Thank you so much for taking the time and coming on today. It was truly a pleasure. You are even better hanging out with you in.
Nelly Furtado
Person. Thank you so much. Oh, thank you for having me. This was really.
Alex Cooper
Fun. I had a good.
Nelly Furtado
Time. Time. Yeah. I even.
Alex Cooper
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Host: Alex Cooper
Guest: Nelly Furtado
Release Date: December 26, 2025
In this candid and lively episode, Alex Cooper welcomes Nelly Furtado—Grammy-winning singer-songwriter and pop icon. Nelly opens up about her journey embracing singlehood in her 40s, navigating love and breakups, motherhood, her evolving relationship with confidence and body image, and her return to music. The episode is packed with honest reflections, playful banter, and memorable insights that will resonate with anyone navigating reinvention or heartbreak.
Nelly’s daughter is a huge Call Her Daddy fan and encouraged her to do the show. Her daughter and friends were present at the taping, though Nelly insisted her daughter stay in another room to keep from making it “awkward.”
(02:21)
Nelly and Alex bond instantly over mutual admiration and generational appeal—highlighting Nelly’s influence and relevance across ages.
Two sides of happiness:
“Probably when I'm at the park with my children…But then I'm also quite happy when I am kind of waving my freak flag at a concert…Because it's also my other chance to really be myself.”
— Nelly Furtado (03:16)
Blending public and private life:
Nelly describes herself as “chameleonic” and says she can blend in easily as “mom Nelly” when she wants privacy (04:10).
On dating types:
Nelly, at 45, is single for the first time in years and enjoys dating on her own terms:
“My type is changing…Now my type is like: come correct. I adore confidence.”
— Nelly Furtado (05:12; 05:56)
Message to single women:
“You have to enjoy being single authentically…If you're looking for a relationship, be authentic about that. But if that's not what you're looking for, ask yourself what you want.”
— Nelly Furtado (06:27)
On singing “I'm Like a Bird” with Drake:
Nelly recounts declining a late-night performance invitation from Drake—because she wouldn’t go onstage without proper glam:
“He asked me at 11PM to show up at 1AM and...I’m not showing up without glam.”
— Nelly Furtado (07:06)
Nelly reflects on Toronto’s transformation into a global music hub, crediting Drake:
“He kind of really put Toronto on a map in a different kind of way.” (07:58)
Worked as a chambermaid at Robin Hood Motel:
Nelly credits her work ethic and humility to growing up in a working-class Portuguese family, where her mom ran housekeeping and family members all pitched in:
“You really can’t get bougie on people when you come from those [roots]. You get canceled in your family.”
— Nelly Furtado (10:51)
Staying grounded: Nelly’s daughter jokes about her “diva” routines now that Nelly’s back in the spotlight (12:24).
Magazines and the music industry would frequently edit her appearance early in her career:
“Paint my face in your magazines, make it look lighter than it seems…shove away my ethnicity.”
— Nelly Furtado, quoting her song “Powerless” (16:24)
Finding confidence in her 40s:
“I feel the most confident now. I just had, like, I had the 40s glow up. I…feel super happy with myself, even when I get criticized.”
— Nelly Furtado (18:23)
Her body has been labeled “polarizing” online, but she finds power and playfulness in showing her curves:
“I just kind of. I love feeling this confident, you know. I literally didn’t even wear underwear on stage till, like, a year ago.”
— Nelly Furtado (20:32)
Alex and Nelly agree that confidence and self-knowledge grow with age, contrary to the myth that your 20s are your best years:
“…it actually only gets better because you do get to know—when you’re young and you’re 20…you don’t fully know yourself yet.”
— Alex Cooper (21:02-21:53)
Nelly introduces her invented term “flingationship” to describe a fling-relationship mix:
“Flingationship is like a fling relationship. So, flingationship of love…”
— Nelly Furtado (22:11)
On developing sexuality:
“To feel sexy, to feel sensual, you have to spend time on yourself…Joy is pleasure. Right. So if you really feel and embodied…like I feel pretty sexy when I’m dancing.”
— Nelly Furtado (36:50)
Encourages women to explore their own pleasure and not seek validation through others:
“No one can tell you and you shouldn’t ever search for it through someone else.”
— Alex Cooper (37:50)
Nelly opens up about a past breakup that shook her sense of security:
“I had finally kind of arrived at that yellow brick road…And then it turned out that it wasn’t. And that’s why it hit so hard.”
(41:11)
On toxic/abusive relationships:
She extends empathy and honest advice for women feeling stuck:
“You could have all the money in the world and all the resources, but in the mind, really, that is your only wealth…If you can’t feel strong enough and clear enough to move out of a situation…”
(43:00-44:28)
The importance of friends during crisis:
“Those people that are telling you what you don’t want to hear, those are the ones you need to keep close…Hopefully they know you well enough to not repel you with judgment…But tough love doesn’t work all the time…It’s in doses.”
— Nelly Furtado (46:35-47:57)
On shame and slow healing:
“It’s natural to want to…still feel a multitude of feelings…I mean, how many band-aids do you have? And how long do those take to heal? It takes time.”
— Nelly Furtado (49:56)
Advice to her kids:
“You gotta be best friends…But also, stay you, man. Stay you.”
— Nelly Furtado (50:25)
On always trusting her gut:
“Your gut is always right…The little voice in your head…is always right.”
— Nelly Furtado (51:16)
Finding confidence post-breakup through fashion, going out, dance, and creative work:
“After my breakup, I was ready. I was like, okay, I’m dating now. This is awesome…clothing and fashion…dressing up again.”
— Nelly Furtado (51:50, 52:25)
The role of music as therapy:
The studio became her social life and creative outlet during her healing (53:30-54:35). She wrote 400 songs for her comeback album, inspired by friends, open jams, and creative freedom.
Nelly’s single, happily dating, and recommends “daytime dates” as they’re low-pressure and authentic:
“I recommend the daytime date for a first date because it’s broad daylight…”
— Nelly Furtado (61:09)
Non-negotiables in a partner:
“Someone who’s worked on their self in an authentic way…some growth in that department…specifically ego…I think for partners you want somebody with a good heart.”
— Nelly Furtado (62:58-63:54)
Strong advice:
“Listen to your friends. If they’re like, ‘he’s a dick,’ there’s a reason. And they’re only seeing a percentage!”
— Alex Cooper (64:18)
Nelly describes herself as a “mad scientist” in the studio:
“I am more interested in the craft of making it almost than the outcome…I found such confidence in there this time around…before, I used to not like writing songs in front of people, and now I don’t care.”
— Nelly Furtado (65:44-66:33)
Most proud of the new album’s emotion and purity:
“If you just want to escape…music that makes you feel something for real, I will humbly say that I think a lot of the songs do.”
— Nelly Furtado (66:55)
Dream collaboration?
“I still think it’d be cool to have a song with Drake. I think people would love that because we’re both Canadian…”
— Nelly Furtado (67:37)
"This is my chance to just be as weird as I want to be. I fit in when I'm on stage."
— Nelly Furtado (03:16)
“My type is like: come correct. I adore confidence.”
— Nelly Furtado (05:56)
On magazine Photoshop:
"Paint my face in your magazines, make it look lighter than it seems..."
— Nelly Furtado, quoting “Powerless” (16:24)
"I feel the most confident now."
— Nelly Furtado (18:23)
“Flingationship is like a fling relationship.”
— Nelly Furtado (22:11)
“I literally didn’t even wear underwear on stage till, like, a year ago.”
— Nelly Furtado (20:53)
"After my breakup, I was ready. I was like, okay, I'm dating now. This is awesome."
— Nelly Furtado (51:50)
"I just had, like, I had the 40s glow up."
— Nelly Furtado (18:28)
“Listen to your friends. If they're like, 'he's a dick,' there’s a reason…”
— Alex Cooper (64:18)
The tone is playful, honest, and deeply relatable. Alex and Nelly foster an atmosphere of non-judgment, humor, and vulnerability, making the big themes of heartbreak, self-discovery, and reinvention feel approachable and inspiring.
Nelly Furtado reinvents herself—embracing single life, celebrating her evolving confidence and body, and candidly sharing wisdom about love, loss, and resilience. Her message to listeners: Know yourself, trust your gut, own your worth, and don’t be afraid to start over—no matter your age or relationship status.