Call Her Daddy Podcast Summary: "Rachael Kirkconnell: I Was Blindsided"

Podcast Information:

• Title: Call Her Daddy
• Host: Alex Cooper
• Episode: Rachael Kirkconnell: I Was Blindsided
• Release Date: January 29, 2025
• Description: The most-listened-to podcast by women, hosted by Alex Cooper, delves into candid conversations about relationships, breakups, and personal growth. New episodes drop every Wednesday and Sunday.

Introduction

In this heartfelt and revealing episode of Call Her Daddy, host Alex Cooper sits down with Rachael Kirkconnell and Matt James to discuss their tumultuous relationship, their time together on The Bachelor, and the sudden and public nature of their breakup. Released on January 29, 2025, this episode provides an unfiltered look into the challenges of maintaining a relationship under the intense scrutiny of reality TV fame.

Entering The Bachelor: An Unexpected Nomination

Rachael Kirkconnell shares the surprising circumstances that led her to join The Bachelor:

• Unexpected Nomination: Rachael reveals that she did not personally sign up for the show. Her friends nominated her without her knowledge, leading to a series of interviews that she initially perceived as a prank. (00:14 - 03:46)

  "I didn't want to go on the show. Did not sign myself up for the show. My friends nominated me, and they didn't tell me that they nominated me." – Rachael Kirkconnell (00:14)

• Commitment Despite Hesitation: Initially reluctant, Rachael was persuaded to proceed with the application process, eventually embracing the opportunity to meet Matt James, the show's bachelor. (04:11 - 04:30)

Building a Connection: From Infatuation to Love

Rachael and Matt's relationship blossomed on the show, marked by immediate chemistry and mutual understanding:

• First Impressions: Rachael describes her instant attraction to Matt, noting a strong connection that felt natural amidst the chaos of the show. (08:07 - 09:13)

  "Right off the bat, I feel like we had a connection immediately...just natural, normal, fun, easy conversation." – Rachael Kirkconnell (08:13)

• Solidifying Love: Their bond was solidified during a one-on-one date, where Rachael felt confident that her feelings were genuine and not just infatuation born from the romantic setting. (09:32 - 10:52)

  "We spent the whole day together, and I was like, okay, I can really see myself with this person." – Rachael Kirkconnell (09:39)

The Season Finale: The Decision Not to Engage

Contrary to typical Bachelor finales, Rachael and Matt chose not to get engaged:

• Mutual Understanding: Both recognized that proposing on the show might not be genuine, leading to a premeditated decision not to follow the traditional path. (11:12 - 12:34)

  "We had a conversation off camera about not getting engaged. I knew that was coming." – Rachael Kirkconnell (12:16)

• Respecting Individual Choices: Rachael emphasizes understanding Matt's need to make decisions best for himself, despite the emotional toll. (17:47 - 17:56)

  "I'm like, you do need to do what's best for you in this situation, and I understand." – Rachael Kirkconnell (17:51)

Post-Show Relationship: Navigating Public Scrutiny

After leaving the show, Rachael and Matt attempted to build their relationship away from the cameras, but faced significant challenges:

• Maintaining Communication: Despite the public nature of their relationship, they continued daily communication initially, though underlying issues persisted. (18:10 - 21:42)

• Trust Issues and Insecurities: Rachael struggled with trust due to the public's perception and Matt's occasional distance, compounded by Matt's involvement with other women outside their relationship. (24:07 - 26:58)

  "I felt like I had a hard time trusting him because of what was happening when we were apart." – Rachael Kirkconnell (24:19)

The Breakup: A Sudden and Public Separation

The relationship between Rachael and Matt came to a swift and unexpected end during a trip to Tokyo:

• Triggering Incident: A disappointing dinner experience, coupled with personal frustrations, led to a heated argument where Matt expressed doubts about their future together. (46:25 - 54:19)

  "He said that at the end of the day there were qualities about me that he worries about having in a wife...I can't actually see myself married to you." – Rachael Kirkconnell (58:42)

• Public Breakup Announcement: Matt posted a cryptic breakup message on Instagram while on a flight, leaving Rachael blindsided and grappling with the sudden public declaration. (68:12 - 72:51)

  "I can't stick around after that, even if I want to. Even if it's hard for me to let go." – Rachael Kirkconnell (75:05)

Handling the Aftermath: Grief and Healing

The aftermath of the breakup was marked by confusion, hurt, and the challenge of processing emotions under public scrutiny:

• Emotional Turmoil: Rachael describes the immediate shock and pain of the breakup, feeling blindsided by Matt's sudden decision and his public announcement. (74:05 - 75:20)

  "It was just so much to hear because a few days before, you know, I'm hearing the opposite in that moment." – Rachael Kirkconnell (71:00)

• Seeking Closure: Both Rachael and Matt engaged in conversations post-breakup, with Matt apologizing for his handling of the situation, though Rachael remains uncertain about rekindling the relationship. (77:19 - 84:16)

  "I just wish we could somehow be friends because he was my best friend and it hurts to not have him as my best friend anymore." – Matt James (82:24)

Reflections and Moving Forward

As Rachael and Matt navigate their separation, they reflect on their relationship's dynamics and the lessons learned:

• Power Imbalance and Compromise: Rachael acknowledges the imbalance in their relationship, where Matt, as the show's bachelor, held more power, leading her to compromise her values and needs. (90:43 - 91:03)

  "I was just trying to support him through everything, whatever that was. And I didn't mind, you know, letting him have the spotlight." – Rachael Kirkconnell (91:08)

• Advice to Listeners: Alex Cooper offers empathetic advice to listeners experiencing similar situations, emphasizing the importance of self-worth and the strength needed to move on from unbalanced relationships.

  "You deserve so much better... You deserve that you are on a 50, 50 partnership where you have a voice of value." – Alex Cooper (98:18)

• Rachael's Path to Healing: Rachael expresses optimism about focusing on herself and rebuilding her confidence post-breakup, recognizing the need for personal growth after a four-year relationship.

  "I'm just excited to work on myself." – Rachael Kirkconnell (96:13)

Conclusion

This episode of Call Her Daddy offers a profound exploration of Rachael Kirkconnell's journey through love, heartbreak, and self-discovery. With candid discussions and emotional honesty, Rachael and Matt provide listeners with invaluable insights into the complexities of relationships formed under the spotlight of reality TV. Their story underscores the importance of mutual respect, communication, and personal well-being in the pursuit of lasting love.

Notable Quotes:

• "Breakups are so emotionally devastating and hard, especially if you're the one getting broken up with." – Alex Cooper (01:10)

• "I was screwed. All of these girls are so stunning, gorgeous, seem perfect." – Rachael Kirkconnell (07:20)

• "I felt like he was just trying to make the right decision." – Rachael Kirkconnell (12:35)

• "I was blindsided." – Rachael Kirkconnell (narrative throughout)

• "You deserve so much better." – Alex Cooper (98:18)

Closing Thoughts

Rachael and Matt's candid conversation shines a light on the often unseen struggles of maintaining a relationship amidst fame and public expectation. Their story serves as a testament to the resilience required to navigate love and loss, offering hope and guidance to listeners facing their own relational challenges.