Broadway Is My Beat: Buddy Malpaugh and the Jeweled Scimitar 12/22/1951

Summary

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Podcast Summary:

Choice Classic Radio Detectives | Old Time Radio
Episode: Broadway Is My Beat – "Buddy Malpaugh and the Jeweled Scimitar"
Aired: December 22, 1951 (Podcast Release: Feb 11, 2026)
Main Cast:

• Detective Danny Clover (Larry Thor)
• Sergeant Gino Tartaglia (Charles Calvert)
• Mike Shrek
• Rima 9
• Mr. Zoic
• Buddy Malpaugh

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Overview:

This episode offers a festive but twist-laden detective story set on Broadway in the days leading up to Christmas. Detective Danny Clover and Sergeant Gino Tartaglia delve into the theft of a priceless artifact—the Jeweled Scimitar of Genghis Khan—after ne'er-do-well millionaire Buddy Malpaugh is assaulted. The investigation soon swirls with colorful suspects, disguises, double-crosses, and a master criminal. As always, the city’s gaudiest mile, Broadway, is as much a character as any person, highlighting the lonely and hopeful moments of the holidays.

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Key Discussion Points & Plot Unfolding:

1. Pre-Christmas Mood and Gino’s Wish

• The story opens with Detective Clover describing the festive, bustling holiday environment on Broadway (00:54).
• Sergeant Gino Tartaglia, feeling unfulfilled by conventional gifts, wishes for the excitement of solving a crime with Danny (02:01).
  • Memorable Quote:
    "What I want most is to go out and solve a crime...to go out on a case with you. My fondest wish for Christmas."
    — Tartaglia (02:24)

2. The Case Emerges: Buddy Malpaugh Attacked

• News breaks: Buddy Malpaugh, nicknamed the "ne'er-do-well millionaire," has been attacked and robbed in his ransacked apartment (03:33).
• Gino excitedly joins Danny on the case, fulfilling his Christmas wish.

3. Meeting Mike Shrek – An Unlikely Ally or Rival?

• At Malpaugh’s, the duo discovers Mike Shrek, a legendary detective from Philadelphia, “hiding behind the drapes” (05:11).
  • Notable Exchange:
    "This man. This hider behind grapes...May I present Mike Shrek, the bald headed miracle detector from Philadelphia."
    — Tartaglia (05:34)
• Shrek claims to be tracking master criminal Lance Lash and initiated the call to police.

4. The Victim’s Story – and the Missing Scimitar

• Malpaugh, regaining consciousness, explains he was attacked before a scheduled date with Rima 9 and that "the Jeweled Scimitar of Genghis Khan"—his most prized possession—was stolen (07:10).
  • Memorable Quote:
    "I prized it more than the jeweled scimitar of Genghis Khan." — Malpaugh (08:03)

5. Rima 9 – The Sultry Siren and the Museum Lead

• Clover and Tartaglia question Rima 9, who admits her date with Malpaugh was motivated by his famed scimitar, believed to be worth "half a million dollars" (10:02–12:13).
  • Rima notes her interest in the museum's replica, establishing a new investigative angle.

6. The Museum and the History of the Scimitar

• The detectives visit Mr. Zoic at the Museum of Far Eastern Lore. He recounts the scimitar's legendary origin and note that the display piece is only a replica, as Malpaugh never donated the real one (11:03–12:14).

7. Twists and Turns – Disguises and Double Identities

• Rima 9 is later arrested for disorderly conduct, frantically clutching a smashed, fake scimitar (18:24–20:00).

  • She reveals a dramatic encounter: “the cabbie” who attacked her was Lance Lash in disguise (20:38–21:02).
    • Notable Quote:
      "He grabs me by the throat, wrestles me for the scimitar...And you know who he really was? Not none other. Lance Lash, the master criminal of them all!" — Rima 9 (21:01)

• Detectives deduce the real scimitar was hidden in plain sight at the museum, replacing the replica—an audacious move by Malpaugh (21:52–22:08).

8. Race to the Museum and Final Showdown

• At the museum, a man dressed as Genghis Khan—actually Lance Lash—escapes with the real scimitar, disguised as a cab driver (22:32–23:13).

  • A bystander observes:
    "I just figured he was from California." (23:13)

• The detectives hurry to confront Mike Shrek, piecing together that he is actually Lance Lash in disguise (24:10–25:16).

  • Key Reveal:
    Gino catches Shrek’s slip:
    "The length of the Philadelphia Camden Bridge is 1.81 miles." (Shrek said 1.83, revealing his real identity) — (24:59–25:09)

• After a tense struggle, they unmask “Mike Shrek” as Lance Lash (25:24–26:02).

9. Denouement – Was It All Just a Dream?

• Gino awakens, realizing the whole escapade was a dream.

  • Notable Quote:
    "Danny, I had a dream, Danny. I was a big hero. I went out on a case with you." — Tartaglia (26:57)
  • Clover reassures him:
    "When something happens to you, something real, and then it's over, you know what you have left? Memory...That's all anything is, Gino. A memory." (27:03–27:25)

• Gino gets his “Christmas wish,” and the story closes on a bittersweet, hopeful note, echoing the spirit of Christmas on Broadway.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Sergeant Gino Tartaglia’s Christmas Wish:
  "What I want most for Christmas, Danny, I'm not going to get...my fondest wish for Christmas." (02:24)

• On the Value of Memory:
  "A dream’s over, you can remember it. You have the same thing. A memory. That's all anything is, Gino. A memory." — Clover (27:16–27:25)

• Detective Shrek's Slip:
  "The length of the Philadelphia Camden Bridge is 1.83 miles." (Shrek) — 24:53
  "The length...is 1.81 miles...Mike Shrek would never make an error like that." (Tartaglia) — 24:56–25:09

• On Christmas and Broadway:
  "The bells ring out on Broadway...the Translux spells out peace on earth, goodwill to men. You read it and believe it. Because it's Christmas time. The time for believing in miracles." — Clover (27:37)

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Important Timestamps

| Segment | Timestamp | |-----------------------------------------|-------------| | Opening—Broadway at Christmas | 00:54 | | Gino’s Christmas wish | 02:24 | | News of Malpaugh’s attack | 03:33 | | Meet Mike Shrek | 05:11 | | Buddy Malpaugh’s account | 07:10 | | Interview with Rima 9 | 09:29 | | Museum visit—origin of Scimitar | 11:03 | | Rima 9 and the fake scimitar | 18:24–20:00 | | Revelation about the real scimitar | 21:52–22:08 | | The cab driver disguise & escape | 22:32–23:13 | | Unmasking Mike Shrek as Lance Lash | 25:07–26:02 | | Gino’s dream & final conversation | 26:57–27:37 |

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Concluding Thoughts

With classic radio charm and a blend of holiday heart and detective twists, this Broadway Is My Beat episode offers wit, suspense, and warmth. Through Gino’s dream, the show delivers both a sharp caper and a reminder about the power of wishes and memory at Christmas.

Merry Christmas, detective fans!

Transcript

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

Welcome to Choice Classic Radio where we bring to you the greatest old time radio shows like us on Facebook, subscribe to us on YouTube and thank you for [e-mail].

[Detective Danny Clover]

Broadway's My Beat From Times Square to Columbus Circle, the gaudiest, the most violent, the lonesomest mile in the world.

[Mike Shrek]

Broadway's my beat with larry thor as detective danny clover.

[Detective Danny Clover]

On the days before Christmas, Broadway dances along to carols that flow from sequined loudspeakers. The kids mash their noses against the plate glass, lick it and watch. And it's all there. The mechanical clown, the tin man dancing a jig on a tin box. The toy army precisely to scale with the latest equipment mechanized. And eyes are bright with desire and hope. It's the one time in the year when odds are better that dreams will come true. So make a wish on a neon star. And in the short time before Christmas, creatures were stirring at police headquarters. There's the patter of tired feet and the sound of manly giggles as little gifts are hidden in desk drawers or poured into Dixie cups or slipped under the police blotter. And in my office, my strong right arm, Sergeant Gino Tartaglia. Yeah, ask it. Pretty late, Gino. Couple more hours, you can go home and finish decorating your Christmas tree.

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

Indeed, indeed.

[Detective Danny Clover]

Getting a lot of nice things this year, Gino?

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

Oh, many things, Danny. I guess my old cockles should be warmed, but they're not.

[Mike Shrek]

Oh.

[Detective Danny Clover]

Something wrong, Gino?

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

What I want most for Christmas, Danny, I'm not going to get. I'm going to get nicks and knacks and an electric shaver and handkerchiefs and socks and ties and a curved K woody pipe to smoke my troubles away.

[Detective Danny Clover]

Sounds like a pretty full Christmas to me, Gino.

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

Humbug, Ernie. What I want most is to go out and solve a crime. To meet face to face the sultry sirens, the hardened criminals. And to solve them the way you do, to go out on a case with you. My fondest wish for Christmas.

[Detective Danny Clover]

Oh, police headquarters would fall apart without you, Gino. You just stick around here and do your job.

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

Indeed, indeed. I just thought I'd let you know, that's all.

[Detective Danny Clover]

Well, I'm going downstairs for some coffee.

[Mike Shrek]

Be back soon.

[Detective Danny Clover]

Roger.

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

Than, Gino, you're stuck in this.

[Detective Danny Clover]

Yeah?

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

Oh, phone, Gino. Sergeant Gino Tataglia is speaking. Yes, yes. Yeah, right away, Danny. Hey, Danny.

[Detective Danny Clover]

Yeah, what's the matter, Gino? I haven't gotten my coffee yet.

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

Coffee at a time like this, buddy? Malpa the ne' Er, do well, Millionaire.

[Mike Shrek]

What?

[Detective Danny Clover]

What about him?

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

What about him? He has been slugged.

[Detective Danny Clover]

Let's go, Gino.

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

Did you say let's?

[Detective Danny Clover]

Of course. On a case like this. I'll need you, Gino.

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

Come on. Now. This is his house, Danny. Let's go. It's Rock.

[Detective Danny Clover]

Yeah.

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

Stand aside, Danny. We can go in now. Danny.

[Detective Danny Clover]

Gino.

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

Yeah.

[Detective Danny Clover]

We could have brought him the bell.

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

Who's got time? You're coming.

[Detective Danny Clover]

For here, Gino. Back of the sofa.

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

Yeah, yeah. Take a note, Danny.

[Detective Danny Clover]

Yes.

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

Honor Buddy Malpracti unconscious. Ne do well, Millionaire battered and bludgeoned on the super acetical region of the cranium back of the skull. Then slug on the super occipital of our assailant unknown. From the size of the lump on Buddy Malpas heretofore refined head, conclude that said lump was administered by a blunt weapon 3 millimeters by 5 of the irregular contour and lead pipe consistency. You got that, Danny?

[Detective Danny Clover]

Yes, I do.

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

Hold it. I got a P.S. the wit. Luxurious apartment of Sednaire do well, millionaire. 140 Malpa ransacked and left in disarray. BPS. The butler of said household will have his work cut out for him.

[Detective Danny Clover]

Shall I phone it in now, Sergeant?

[Mike Shrek]

Don't move.

[Rima 9]

Huh?

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

The drapes just moved. All right, you, behind those drapes. Out with your hands clasped behind your neck.

[Rima 9]

Out.

[Mike Shrek]

Good evening, gentlemen.

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

Good e. Ben. It can't be.

[Detective Danny Clover]

It can't be what, Gino?

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

This man. This hider behind grapes.

[Rima 9]

It can't be.

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

Are you. It is he.

[Rima 9]

Danny.

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

May I present Mike Shrek, the bald headed miracle detector from Philadelphia.

[Mike Shrek]

Merry Christmas, gentlemen.

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

Merry Christmas to you. Mike Shrek.

[Mike Shrek]

I assume you gentlemen are of the.

[Detective Danny Clover]

Police of the city.

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

I present to you, sir, Lieutenant Danny Clover and myself, Sergeant Gino Cataglia.

[Mike Shrek]

Dartaglia. Eh? That. That name has a familiar ring.

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

Oh, perhaps because I was an innocent abroad on the Guided in the Footsteps of Mike Shrek tour in Philadelphia last summer. I blew myself to it with my vacation money.

[Mike Shrek]

It's not for that I remember you, sir. It's for the word that has come to me that you are indeed the brains behind the brains of the New York police force.

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

Oh, come now, Mr. Shrek. You mustn't believe all.

[Mike Shrek]

I could have used you, sir, on my famed widow Chalcedony's case when, having trailed the desperado across the 1.83 miles of the Philadelphia Camden Bridge, I was caught in the seductive toil, the machine.

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

Gun brain of the man, Danny. The memory for details to have made a part of him the size of the Philadelphia Camden Bridge.

[Mike Shrek]

Gentlemen, enough of nostalgia to work. It was I who phoned this into you. Being now on the trail of Lance lashes, master criminal of them all. I was led to this place only to find Buddy Malpaw, the ne' er do well millionaire. But hush, the man is coming around. What happened, man? Tell us what happened. You are gently, sir. You are among friends.

[Detective Danny Clover]

We're from the police, Mr. Malpoy. Try to tell us what happened. Well, I'll try, fellows. I had arranged such a pleasant evening. A date with Rima 9. Oh, not the Rima 9 from Bolivia, but the Ms. Rema 9 who was staying at the Stacy Arms. Go on, Mr. Melpo Rema was to meet me here at 9:30. However, at precisely at 9, the doorbell rang. I went to open it. There was no one there. No one. No one. A prank, I thought. I started back in the department. Suddenly that a pain. The awful pain screaming through my skull. It was no prank, I assure you. No, it. Where is it? Where is it? Where is what, Mr. Malpa? It's gone. It was here. In this case, it's gone. What's gone, Mr. Malpa? I prized it more than the jeweled scimitar of Genghis Khan.

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

The jewel. Scimitar of Genghis Khan.

[Mike Shrek]

The jewel.

[Detective Danny Clover]

What's going on here, Sergeant?

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

Read your notes, man. Read your notes.

[Detective Danny Clover]

And watch the sergeant as he considers the attitude of the distressed man, the desolation of him, the sergeant's compassion, understanding the most precious thing of Malpaw's life. The jewel scimitar of Genghis Khan was gone now. Vanished, lost, strayed, stolen, purloined. The sergeant's gentleness, the knowledge of it caught up with Melpaw, took hold, displaced everything until it was only emptiness, void, vacuum, space, nothing. Finally the ne' er do well millionaires rejection of it and turn now and sergeant, the taglia nods sagely, open the door for him and leave. Going out of the Stacy Arms and the clerk at the desk lifts a crowd corner of his lip and an eyebrow when the sergeant mentions the name of a woman he wants to see. The long ride up on the elevator walk down the carpeted corridor, the sprig of Christmas holly above the brass door knocker.

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

This time we'll knock. Danny.

[Rima 9]

Hi, fellas. Please come in. You'll forgive the way I look.

[Detective Danny Clover]

We're from police, Ms. NY.

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

Yeah, we got some questions to ask you.

[Rima 9]

A piece of finery I picked up at Cote d'. Azur. I Always wear it at this hour, at a wishing hour. You may call me Reema.

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

I'm Gino. He's Danny.

[Detective Danny Clover]

It's about Buddy Malpal, Ms. Nine.

[Rima 9]

Yes.

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

He was beaten and robbed this evening.

[Rima 9]

You may sit here beside me if you wish.

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

None of this sultry siren stuff. Ms. Nine, didn't you have a date with Mr. Malpar this evening?

[Rima 9]

Yes, I did. At 9:30.

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

That check, Sergeant, what time did you get to the Malpa mansion?

[Rima 9]

At 9:30. I rang the bell. And rang it. No one answered. I was so disappointed with an educational evening like that in sight.

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

Educational?

[Rima 9]

But he was going to show me the jeweled scimitar of Genghis Khan. The real one, not the replica.

[Detective Danny Clover]

Oh, there's a replica at the Museum.

[Rima 9]

Of Far Eastern Lore. I often go there in my idle moments and browse around the Far Eastern thing.

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

You're a strange one, Lima.

[Detective Danny Clover]

Yes, Please go on.

[Rima 9]

That's how I met Buddy at the museum. Fate plays strange tricks, doesn't it, Gino?

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

Yeah.

[Rima 9]

Now, if you'll pardon me, fellows, I must change.

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

Well, go right ahead. We'll just make ourselves.

[Detective Danny Clover]

Let's go, Gino.

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

We are sorry, Mr. Zoic, that we have made you open your museum to us at such a late hour. It is always a pleasure, Sergeant, to indulge the whims of the cultured, though they be policemen. Thank you, Mr. Zoe. They're not at all. And here, gentlemen, looming above you is the statue of the fabulous terrorizer, Genghis Khan. Clothed in the cap of Tibetan fur, the jeweled gown replicated the king's silk. All of it donated to us, most generously by Buddy Malpa, to complete our Far Eastern collection.

[Detective Danny Clover]

And the sword? In his hands.

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

A replica only, I hear. Replica of the jeweled scimitar of Genghis Khan. Mr. Malpaw's generosity dissolved when it reached.

[Detective Danny Clover]

Tell us about the cemetery, Mr. Thorn.

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

With the deepest of pleasure, Genghis tore it from the wounded hands of Jellal Leddon, his arching, bitter enemy. Danny. Then for centuries it was lost. Three centuries, Danny vanished. To reappear again in the Renaissance as an ornament worn about the slim waist of the Lucreture Borgia.

[Detective Danny Clover]

If this Scimitar were real, Mr. Zoic, how much would it be worth, eh?

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

Conservatively.

[Detective Danny Clover]

Conservatively.

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

Half a million dollars. Give a little, take a little. Half a million, huh? That's all we need to know. Let's go, Danny.

[Detective Danny Clover]

Yeah.

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

And to you, Mr. Zoic, many thanks and merry, merry Christmas. And to you, sir. Half a million bucks. Danny. No wonder Mr. Malpal and Air do well Millionaire Dino hit the ground. Hippocamp. Yeah. Help me, Danny. I've been.

[Rima 9]

I've been shot.

[Mike Shrek]

You are listening to Broadway's My Beat, written by Morton Fine and David Friedkin and starring Larry Thor as Detective Danny Clover. It's so delightful, it's become a Christmas tradition with Amos and Andy. Tomorrow night again, Amos will be heard explaining the meaning of the Christmas spirit to his little daughter, Arbadella. It wouldn't be Yuletide without this special bid. Amos and Andy contribute to the season's atmosphere, so be sure to hear it again over most of these same CBS radio stations tomorrow night on Amos. And.

[Detective Danny Clover]

As the winds move to the place of the year's dying, the Mazdas on Broadway's Translux arrange themselves in merry thoughts suitable for Christmas past, Christmas present, Christmas future. Broadway walks by, glances up, smiles, hurries to buy the last minute gift for the last minute friend. Crosby sings the tune that's in your heart. The corner Santa Claus winks, the golden girl stops you, asks which way to gimbals, invites you to come along and show her the budget term. Dreams are coming true, kid. So go live a little.

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

Danny. Danny. I've been shot. Oh, no. I must have been dreaming. Where was I? Oh, yeah, I was shot.

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[Mike Shrek]

There you are, sergeant.

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

As good as new. My thanks, Dr. Sinski. May I say something, Gino? Indeed you may. I've been privileged to attend many courageous men, but you.

[Mike Shrek]

You, Gino.

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

No other way I can say it. I stand in humility before you. Ah, Dr. Sinski, you. You shouldn't say those things. I.

[Detective Danny Clover]

He's right, Gino. Dr. Sinski's only saying what all of us feel. We've already initiated proceedings for an award for bravery beyond the call of duty.

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

Danny. Dr. Sinski, dear true friends, I know not what. May I?

[Detective Danny Clover]

Go right ahead, sir.

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

Thank you. Sergeant Gino Cataglia speaking. Yes, yes, yes, that Was my trick. Evil has come to him. Get me a squad car. Never mind the hole in my head. Danny, a squad car. I can't move. I've got more.

[Detective Danny Clover]

The door's locked.

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

Gino, one side. After you, Danny.

[Detective Danny Clover]

Mr. Shrek. What happened to you?

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

Landslash, the master criminal of them all.

[Detective Danny Clover]

I give the devil his due. You haven't told us what happened, Mr. Shrek.

[Mike Shrek]

Please, gentlemen, please. Will you hook me up?

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

Of course. Now be gentle with him. Danny, over here on the bed. Now, tell us about it.

[Mike Shrek]

My friends, I feel I have failed you.

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

Oh, don't talk like that. After all, how many people have come face to face with Lance Flash and live to tell about it?

[Detective Danny Clover]

Give the devil his due, yes. Now, would you mind telling us what happened?

[Mike Shrek]

I came here to my rooms. Sparsely furnished, you'll admit, but the way I like it. No furbelows to distract my attention. I needed to think. I knew I was once again a hot on the trail of Blandslash. Once again from the ends of the earth.

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

Listen to the man, Danny.

[Mike Shrek]

We had met, Blanslash and I, the last time on the lonely isle Mauricios. When we battled hand to hand on top of old Farfangen, the volcano.

[Detective Danny Clover]

Yeah, I know. But what happened tonight, as is my.

[Mike Shrek]

Wont, before I retired, I looked under my bed, gentlemen. And there he was. Landslash.

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

So you got under two and started a fight with him, huh?

[Mike Shrek]

Yes, it was nip and tuck under there.

[Detective Danny Clover]

But if the devil is. Why did he come here, Mr. Shrek?

[Mike Shrek]

He thought I had the jewel scimitar of Genghis Khan. And as you know, gentlemen, I have not as the. Would you mind, Sergeant?

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

Oh, of course. Yes, yes, yes. How do you like that, Danny?

[Detective Danny Clover]

Like what?

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

Rima 9.

[Mike Shrek]

The sumptuary siren.

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

Yeah. She was picked up on a disorderly conduct charge. And you know what she had with her?

[Detective Danny Clover]

No, I don't.

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

A scimitar. And it was smashed to pieces. Let's go, Danny. If I were you, I'd fry a poultice, Mr. Shrek. Open it, danny.

[Detective Danny Clover]

Yeah.

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

Well, Rema, what have you to say for yourself?

[Rima 9]

This. You.

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

Take it easy, Rema. Just relax. Kicking will get you nowhere. A wild.

[Rima 9]

No, I feel.

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

Easy, girl.

[Rima 9]

Easy.

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

That's it. That's a good girl. That's a baby.

[Rima 9]

You have strong arms, Sergeant. Don't take them away.

[Detective Danny Clover]

The boys say they picked you up screaming on a street corner. Why were you doing that, Miss Nine.

[Rima 9]

They tell you about me banging their empty heads together till they rang out the seaton's Greetings.

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

They mentioned it. Now you tell us why you did all that. And right before Christmas you know why.

[Rima 9]

That piece of mail order carving knife masquerading as the jewel Scimitar of Gingers Khan.

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

Not the genuine article, huh?

[Rima 9]

Not the genuine article. Harry says it was a fake. A dirty rotten insult time.

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

Don't scream, angel. You're all nearby.

[Detective Danny Clover]

Okay, so it was a fake. Miss 9. Where'd you get it?

[Rima 9]

What's that got to do?

[Detective Danny Clover]

Only this. You rang Buddy MOPO's bell at 9 last night. You slugged him, stole the Scimiter. Now you're hurt because it's a fake. Charges pile up, huh, Sergeant? Assault, theft.

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

Indeed they do.

[Detective Danny Clover]

Rhema.

[Rima 9]

Book me for anything you want, lover. Just so you bring in that woman beating cab driver, huh? The cab driver. I get in this cab, tell him to get me the airport in a hurry. Why should I stay in this lonesome town when what I had in my hands was worth half a million? What I had in my hand.

[Detective Danny Clover]

Go on.

[Rima 9]

So, cabbie tilts his cap to me. I see the union label. I figure he's friendly, trustworthy, loyal. I make chit chat with him when wham bang, he turns onto a side street, grabs me by the throat, wrestles me for the scimitar. He looks at it and breaks it over my head. And you know who he was? Who he really was?

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

Not.

[Rima 9]

Not none other. Lance Lash, the master criminal of them all. Love him. Imagine poor little me in the clutches of Lance Lash.

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

Oh, there, there. Don't think about it.

[Detective Danny Clover]

You can let her go now. Gino.

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

Read your notes, man. Just read your notes.

[Detective Danny Clover]

And leave. There. Go away. Find a place at police headquarters and close the door to the outside. Think about it. You and Sergeant the taglia. Put it down and added up, it doesn't come out. So Sergeant Tartaglia puts it down and adds it up and it comes out. Go to a place now back to the museum and tell it all to a man you talked to before.

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

I can't believe. I just cannot believe.

[Detective Danny Clover]

You better believe it, Mr. Zoic. Because that's the only way it makes sense.

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

That's right. If the simitar stolen from Buddy Malpa was a phony, then the one the statue of Genghis Khan is holding is the real one. The ingeniousness of a man, Malpa. What better way to keep his treasure safe than to put it before the eyes of the world?

[Detective Danny Clover]

We want to see again, mister.

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

Of course. Of course you do. This way. This way. Ah, this is very gratifying to me. You know this publicity. People from all walks of life now drop in to catch a peek of the statue of Jim. Just Khan holding the Scimitar. And just 10 minutes ago I had to warn a cab driver to keep a cab driver. Yes, interesting fellow too. Interesting face.

[Mike Shrek]

We better hurry, Danny.

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

Now look, look, I don't understand changes. Khan, he's dressed like a cab driver. He's holding a city guidebook in his hand. The Scimitar is gone. It's impossible.

[Detective Danny Clover]

Maybe, but it's happened. The cab driver changed clothes.

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

Maybe we can catch him, Danny. Yeah, and maybe that man sitting on the step sign. Let's ask him. Hey. Hey, mister. Hello. Did you see a man come out of here a few minutes ago?

[Detective Danny Clover]

I guess I did. I've been sitting here for the last hour. Did you notice anything strange about any of them? The way one of them was dressed?

[Mike Shrek]

Let me see now.

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

This man had on a fur cap and a brocaded robe. He was carrying a Simica.

[Detective Danny Clover]

Oh, sure, I saw him. I didn't pay him no mind though. I just figured he was from California. Let's go, Gino.

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

Danny. Danny, I think I got it.

[Mike Shrek]

Got what?

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

Get in the car and I'll tell you all about it.

[Detective Danny Clover]

Where are we going?

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

To see Mike Swick, the bald headed miracle detective from Philadelphia. I think we're at trails end.

[Detective Danny Clover]

Who is it? It's Lieutenant Clover, Mr. Shrek, and Sergeant Attaglia.

[Mike Shrek]

Be with you in a minute.

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

We're still waiting, Mr. Shrek.

[Mike Shrek]

Come in, come in. I was just tidying up.

[Detective Danny Clover]

Going someplace, Mr. Shrek?

[Mike Shrek]

Back to Philadelphia, I'm afraid.

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

Afraid?

[Mike Shrek]

Lance Lash has outwitted me again.

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

Oh, has he now?

[Detective Danny Clover]

Yes, but I'll get him after the holidays. Sit down, Mr. Shrek. Tell us how you're going to get Lancelash.

[Mike Shrek]

Well, I'm going to the Congo after the holidays.

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

Oh, and why are you going to do that, Mr. Shrek?

[Mike Shrek]

Rumor has already drifted up from the veldt of the sudden appearance of the long lost emerald eye of the goddess Osiris. If I know Lance Lash, that's where.

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

He'Ll be after the holidays. He will, Willie. Let me ask you a question, Mr. Shrek.

[Mike Shrek]

At your service.

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

How long did you say the Philadelphia Camden Bridge was?

[Mike Shrek]

1.83 miles.

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

See, what did I tell you, Danny?

[Detective Danny Clover]

Go ahead, Gene. I'll correct him.

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

The length of the Philadelphia Camden Bridge is 1.81 miles. Did you hear me, Mr. Schreck?

[Mike Shrek]

I heard you.

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

Mike Schreck would never make an error like that. Oh, Lance Lash, the master criminal of them all, I presume.

[Mike Shrek]

At your service, gentlemen.

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

Look in the closet, Danny.

[Detective Danny Clover]

Right. It's here, all right. The costume of Ginger's camp.

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

And of course, you left the disguise of the cab driver at the museum.

[Mike Shrek]

My compliments to you, sir.

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

You came to the house of Buddy Malpa after the simmer car was stolen. You traced it to Rima 9 disguised as a cab driver. You found her with it making her flight. You discovered it was a fake.

[Mike Shrek]

That is correct.

[Detective Danny Clover]

Of course.

[Mike Shrek]

You know what happened then. I deduced the same thing you did. The genuine Scimitar was at the museum.

[Detective Danny Clover]

Where is it now, Mr. Lesch?

[Mike Shrek]

Where is it?

[Detective Danny Clover]

Plan here. Watch out, Gino, he'll cut you to pieces.

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

I'll take them. Danny. Plants.

[Detective Danny Clover]

Don't.

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

Don't say uncle.

[Detective Danny Clover]

Uncle.

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

Uncle. Yeah. Look, Danny. See? I removed this bald head of toupee and. Why do we have a full head of hair? What a phony you are. Land Flash.

[Detective Danny Clover]

Gino. Gino. Come on, Gina, wake up.

[Rima 9]

Come on.

[Detective Danny Clover]

Come on.

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

Huh?

[Detective Danny Clover]

You fell asleep, Gino, Huh?

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

Yeah. Yeah, I must have those.

[Detective Danny Clover]

No calls, huh?

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

Yeah. From. No. No calls.

[Detective Danny Clover]

What's the matter with it, Gino?

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

Danny?

[Detective Danny Clover]

Yeah?

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

I had a dream, Danny. I was a big hero. I went out on a case with you.

[Detective Danny Clover]

A dream, huh? I want to tell you something, Gino. What? When something happens to you, something real, and then it's over, you know what you have left? Memory.

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

Yeah, Danny. That's right.

[Mike Shrek]

1.

[Detective Danny Clover]

A dream's over, you can remember it. You have the same thing. A memory. That's all anything is, Gino. A memory.

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

Then I got my Christmas wish, huh, Danny?

[Detective Danny Clover]

Sure you did. Go on home now.

[Sergeant Gino Tartaglia]

Sure. Merry Christmas, Danny.

[Detective Danny Clover]

Merry Christmas, Gino. The bells ring out on Broadway. The horns blow and there's laughter. The Translux spells out peace on earth, goodwill to men. You read it and believe it. Because it's Christmas time. The time for believing in miracles. The crowd pushes your law and you're part of makes you happy. It's Broadway. The gaudiest, the most violent, the lonesomest mile in the world. Broadway. My beat.

[Mike Shrek]

Broadway's My Beat. Stars Larry Thor as Detective Danny Clover. With Charles Calvert as Tartaglia and Jack Crucian as Mugavan. The program was produced and directed by Elliot Lewis with musical score composed and conducted by Alexander Courage. In tonight's story, Lamont Johnson was heard as Mike Shrek, Georgia Ellis as Riemann 9. Howard McNear as Mr. Zoic and George Neese as Buddy Malpaw. Ships loaded with vital cargo for our men at the fighting front are swinging at anchor for lack of radio officers. Men with 6 months merchant ship radio operating experience since 1935 or any kind of FCC license can get an emergency license to ship at once. Write phone wire or go now to American Radio Association, 5 Beakman Street New York City. Bill Anders speaking. And remember, the comedy treat that can't be beat is Jack Benny time Sunday nights on the CBS Rad.

[Rima 9]

Sam.

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