Dragnet: The Big Sisters 05/31/1955

Summary

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Podcast Summary: Choice Classic Radio Detectives | Dragnet: "The Big Sisters" (05/31/1955)

Main Theme

This episode of Dragnet, titled “The Big Sisters,” initially presents as a classic burglary investigation but unfolds into a poignant and comedic exploration of sibling rivalry, loneliness, and the desire for attention in old age. Detectives Friday and Smith are called to investigate the report of a $300 theft from an elderly woman's apartment—only to find that not all is as it seems.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Reported Crime and Initial Investigation

• [02:31–10:45]
  • Detectives Friday and Smith respond to a report filed by Ms. Martha Dunbetter, claiming a man entered her apartment and stole $300.
    • She gives a detailed description of the suspect and her savings routine:
      • “I've been saving dimes for the past 15 years. ... It mounts up.” (Ms. Dunbetter – 06:07)
    • She’s eager to cooperate, ready to view suspect photos but insists on changing first for the trip downtown.
  • Lighthearted banter between the detectives about deductive reasoning and the naming of the “Topeka Arms” apartment building provides comic relief amidst procedure.

2. Canvassing and Crime Lab Findings

• [10:45–13:41]
  • Crime lab finds no evidence; only one resident is home and saw nothing.
  • Ms. Dunbetter cannot identify the suspect from police mug shots.
  • Lead emerges when a bartender reports a suspicious patron matching the description.
  • Classic Dragnet Style: Methodical, step-by-step recounting of police procedure.

3. The Misdirected Suspect: Ralph Port Long

• [13:41–16:28]
  • Suspect Ralph Port Long is brought in due to a matching description and suspicious behavior (flashing cash, new in town).
  • Port Long’s inconsistent story and vague answers raise suspicions, but he maintains his innocence:
    • “You ain’t exactly making me feel at home either.” (Port Long – 15:18)
  • Ms. Dunbetter cannot identify him: the scar is “ziggity zag,” but the suspect's is not. She also spots discrepancies in his hair.
  • Port Long is cleared for this crime but wanted for an unrelated offense in Needles.

4. The Twist: The Crime Never Happened

• [17:53–26:20]
  • Ms. Dunbetter’s sister, Bessie Maxson, returns and reveals the burglary never happened, stating:
    • “She’s done it all her life. Play acting.” (Bessie Maxson – 20:07)
  • Ms. Dunbetter locks herself in the bathroom, refusing to answer.
  • The sisters’ bickering brings comedy as they air grievances accumulated over decades:
    • “I managed quite well before you moved in on me, Bessie.”
    • “Don’t nip the cooking sherry, Martha .. I mark the bottle!”
      (Multiple lines – 22:37–23:08)

Confession and Motivation

• Ms. Dunbetter eventually confesses to fabricating the story:
  • It was motivated by lifelong sibling rivalry and feeling overshadowed by her older sister, especially during Bessie's 80th birthday celebrations.
  • “I made up my mind that for once in my life, someone was going to make a fuss about me.” (Ms. Dunbetter – 25:00)
  • She admits enjoying the attention and that her “name was in the papers... First time it ever happened.”

5. Resolution

• [26:29–27:05]
  • The charges are not filed, considering Ms. Dunbetter’s age and assurances.
    • “Due to the advanced age of Ms. Martha Dunbetter... no charges were filed.” (Narrator – 27:05)

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Memorable Moments & Notable Quotes

• Banter about deduction & Kansas:
  • Officer Smith: “Somebody must have come from [Topeka]. The owner or the builder. Why else would they give the place a name like that?” (03:20)
  • Ms. Dunbetter: “That was old Mr. Hendrickson’s idea. ... He was from Minneapolis.” (09:46–10:09)
• Sibling squabble:
  • Ms. Dunbetter: “She shovels it down. ... Don’t nip the cooking sherry, Martha Dunbetter, I mark the bottle well.”
  • Bessie Maxson: “You never saved a penny in your life.” (22:25–23:08)
• Pathos and humor of Ms. Dunbetter’s confession:
  • Ms. Dunbetter: “To live 79 years without ever seeing your name in print. But that wasn’t the best part. … I sure had the laugh on her.” (25:21–26:05)
• Bittersweet final line:
  • Ms. Dunbetter: “Even when I’m 80, Bessie will still be ahead. She’ll be going on 90.” (26:20)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

| Timestamp | Segment Description | |---------------|------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 02:31–10:45 | Police interview Ms. Dunbetter; details of the supposed crime & comedic sister rivalry banter | | 13:41–16:28 | Interrogation of suspect Ralph Port Long; he is later cleared | | 17:53–19:18 | Discovery by detectives that the reported crime did not exist | | 20:01–24:22 | Apartment confrontation; sisters argue; comedic confessions | | 25:00–26:05 | Ms. Dunbetter gives her emotional, honest motivation for fabricating the story | | 26:29–27:05 | Legal outcome: No charges filed against Ms. Dunbetter due to her age and remorse |

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Tone

• The episode blends deadpan police procedural with sharp, affectionate comedy rooted in old age and family squabbles.
• Ms. Dunbetter is humorous, mischievous, and ultimately sympathetic. The back-and-forth between the sisters is a comic highlight.

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Conclusion

“The Big Sisters” is more than a burglary case; it’s a gentle look at human loneliness and lifelong sibling rivalry, wrapped in Dragnet’s signature methodical storytelling. Rather than delivering a simple whodunit, the episode offers humor and unexpected pathos, making it both entertaining and touching.

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Transcript

[Announcer]

Welcome to Choice Classic Radio where we

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

bring to you the greatest old time

[Announcer]

radio shows like us on Facebook, subscribe

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

to us on YouTube and thank you

[Announcer]

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[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

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[Announcer]

Ladies and gentlemen, the story you are about to hear is true. The names have been changed to protect the innocent. You're a detective sergeant. You're assigned a burglary detail. An elderly woman reports that a man has stolen $300 from her apartment. She says she saw him. Your job. Check it out.

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

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[Announcer]

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[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

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[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

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[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

Stop.

[Commercial Voice]

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[Narrator]

Dragnet the documented drama of an actual crime. For the next 30 minutes, in cooperation with the Los Angeles Police Department, you will travel step by step on the side of the law through an actual case transcribed from official police files. From beginning to end, from crime to punishment. Dragnets. That is the story of your police force in action.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

It was Thursday, May 19. Was sunny in Los Angeles. We were working the day. Watch out. A burglary detail. My partner's Frank Smith. The boss is Captain Bernard. My name's Friday. We're on our way out from the office and it was 3:47pm when we got to a small apartment house on the corner of Olympic and 6th. Topeka arms.

[Officer Frank Smith]

What's that lady's name again?

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

Joe Dunbetter. Martha Dunbetter. Let's see.

[Officer Frank Smith]

Yeah, here's her mailbox.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

Number eight must be upstairs.

[Officer Frank Smith]

Well, how do you figure that?

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

Only eight mail slots means eight apartments. Yeah. Stands to reason number eight will be on the second floor, don't it? Oh, well, I suppose so.

[Officer Frank Smith]

Hey, Joe, I wonder who comes from Kansas, but. Well, didn't you notice a plaque out in front? Topeka Arms?

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

Yep.

[Officer Frank Smith]

That's a city in Kansas.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

Topeka, Kansas? Yeah, sure.

[Officer Frank Smith]

Somebody must have come from there. The owner or the builder. Why else would they give the place a name like that?

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

I don't know.

[Officer Frank Smith]

Well, it stands to reason, doesn't It?

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

I guess so.

[Officer Frank Smith]

Well, you see, you're not the only

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

one who can do it. Hm? Do what? Deduce. Oh, that's what they call it.

[Officer Frank Smith]

The way you figured out number eight's second floor deduction. Yeah, I was just giving you an example. When I proved that somebody connected with the building probably lived in Kansas City. Right down there.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

Eight, just like you said.

[Officer Frank Smith]

Deduction never fails.

[Announcer]

Joe.

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

Who's there?

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

Police officers.

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

Oh, well, just a second. I'm coming.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

I'm coming.

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

My goodness. You set me up. Oh, well, dear me. You aren't the same ones, are you?

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

No, ma'.

[Narrator]

Am.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

This is Frank Smith. My name's Friday.

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

There were two other policemen here just a little while ago. Shame you didn't know. Could have saved yourself, Tripp.

[Officer Frank Smith]

That's all right, ma'.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

Am. We knew they'd be here. They're patrol car officers. They were in the neighborhood so they answered your call. Oh, well, I. Alright if we come in?

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

Oh my. Yes. Oh, yes, please do.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

You're Mrs. Martha Dunbetter, is that right?

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

No, not Exactly. Oh, it's Ms. Dunbetter. I'm still single.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

I see.

[Officer Frank Smith]

Ma', am, would you mind telling us just what happened this afternoon?

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

Oh, no, no, I don't mind at all. It's quite clear.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

All right. Would you go ahead?

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

What was that, young man?

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

I said go ahead. About this afternoon.

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

Oh, well, let's see. Fixed myself some lunch. Then I read up the dishes. Must have been about 1 o' clock by the time I finished. Afterwards, I put on my hat and I went down to the library. It's only a couple of blocks from here. The Grove of Cleveland branch. I took back my books and checked out two fresh ones.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

All right, what happened next?

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

Well, I come home, there he was.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

What's that?

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

I come home and there he was.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

Who with?

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

That awful man.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

Well, just where was he?

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

Here, in my apartment.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

No, I mean which room?

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

Over there. The bedroom.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

I see.

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

As soon as I come in, I heard him. At least I heard somebody moving around. First I thought it was Mrs. Parker's manager. I know. She sneaks into my apartment, noses around. Course she says she doesn't, but I know better. Well, I said to myself, I got her red handed this time. So I marched into the bedroom all ready to give her a piece of my mind. I was never so flabbergasted in my whole life. He was standing in front of the dresser, going through my pocketbook. I see my black bag and leather. That's the one I was holding.

[Officer Frank Smith]

Well, ma' Am. How much money was in the bag?

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

Well, I'm not positive, not to the penny. About $300.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

In cash?

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

Yes, sir. You see, I've been saving dimes for the past 15 years.

[Officer Frank Smith]

You mean this $300 was in dimes?

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

Oh, goodness gracious, no. What I do is go through my change every night and put all the dimes in my dime bank. Then when it's full, I take it down to a real bank and change the coins into bills. Dime bank holds $25.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

I see.

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

Well, you'd be surprised how much a person can save that way. It mounts up.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

Yes, ma'. Am.

[Officer Frank Smith]

Do you know the denominations of the bills?

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

I guess they was mostly tans. Maybe one or two bigger ones.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

What did this man do next, Ms. Dunbetter?

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

Well, he found money. My $300. Stuffed it into his pockets. Then he just strolled out of the apartment, big as life. I was too dumbfounded to do anything about it.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

I see.

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

I heard him tramp down the stairs, and then I heard the front door slam. When I was sure he was out of the building, I managed to get my wits together and I dialed Central.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

Central?

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

The operator. And she put me in touch with Police Station.

[Officer Frank Smith]

Had you ever seen this man before, Ms. Dunbetter?

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

No, I'm sure I never did.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

Could you tell us what he looked like there?

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

He was a tall man.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

How tall?

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

Big as you, I'd say.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

What color hair, please?

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

Dark. Very dark eyes? Dark eyes, too. Dark complected, like he'd spend a lot of time outdoors.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

How was he dressed?

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

A shirt and pants and jacket. Light colored jacket. I think it was green.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

Did you notice any scars?

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

Yes, come to think of it, I did. Across his forehead. Thin little ziggy zag.

[Officer Frank Smith]

How old would you say he was?

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

Oh, he's young. 35, maybe 40.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

You know, if anybody else saw him, the other tenants?

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

Well, I haven't talked to him. Haven't left apartments since it happened.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

You live alone here, do you?

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

Oh, my, no. No, my sister Bessie stays with me.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

Where is she this afternoon?

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

Well, she went out of town for a few days. Visit a grandson and his family. They come down from Oxnard together this morning.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

I see.

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

Tomorrow's birthday should be 80. Expect they're going to have quite a celebration.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

Yes, ma'.

[Announcer]

Am.

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

They're all carrying on. You'd think it was such an accomplishment.

[Officer Frank Smith]

Well, it is a pretty ripe old age, ma'.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

Am.

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

I don't see what's so ripe about it. After all, I'm nearly 79 myself. Oh, I know. I Don't look it. Everybody thinks there's at least 10 years between us and Bessie is failing.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

Yes, ma'.

[Narrator]

Am.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

Just a couple more questions, Ms. Dunban.

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

Certainly, young man. Certainly.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

What time was it when you got home from the library?

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

2:45, maybe a few minutes after. No later than 3, though.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

I see. How'd this fella get into the apartment? Was the door locked?

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

Well, I thought it was. I always try to remember to lock it whenever I go out, but sometimes I do forget. Yes, I did today.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

You think he'd recognize the Burger if you saw him again?

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

I most assuredly would. Nothing without it, with my eyesight.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

Well, that's fine. We might take you down to the office with us and show you some pictures.

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

No.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

Just to see if you can identify him.

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

Well, if I go like this, I'll have to change my dress first. I'm all right for walking around the neighborhood, but not for going downtown.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

That's up to you, man.

[Officer Frank Smith]

Same as done. Better. While I think of it, who came from Kansas?

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

Oh, I'm afraid I don't understand.

[Officer Frank Smith]

Well, the name of this apartment, you

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

see, is the Topeka Arms.

[Officer Frank Smith]

So I figured somebody connected with it

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

must have come from Kansas. Oh, you don't know who it was, do you?

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

Let me think. Oh, yes, yes, I remember. That was old Mr. Hendrickson's idea.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

Wow, you don't say.

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

Yes, yes. He was the man who built this building. Well, now, that was. Oh, goodness sakes, that was almost 35 years ago. My hot damn flies.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

Yes, ma'.

[Officer Frank Smith]

Am. How you like that, Joe? This Mr. Hendrickson came from Kansas.

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

No, do Minnesota. Minapolis, as I recollect. But it was his idea just the same. Calling it Topeka Arms. Kind of an article he read in the newspaper while the building was going up, ma'. Am. Said there was more people in Southern California who come from Kansas than any other state. So Mr. Henderson figured the name Topeka would attract a lot of tenants. It's ridiculous. Nonsense. Said so at the time. There hasn't been a single solitary one. 35 years, not soul from Kansas has ever lived here.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

4:05pm Frank and I put in a call to the crime lab. While Ms. Dunbetter changed her dress. We checked the other apartments to see if anybody else had seen the burglar. Only one tenant was in Mrs. J.T. blade, apartment 6 informed us that she she'd been out marketing at the time of the crime and had just returned home. 4:16pm Lee Jones and the crew from the crime lab arrived. They began their investigation and we drove Ms. Dunbetter down to the City hall. We checked the oddity file and ran the suspect's description on MO through the stats office. And they came up with 17 possibles. We pulled mug shots and showed them to Ms. Dunbetter. She was unable to make an identification. 6:13pm Lee Jones reported no useful fingerprints or other physical evidence in the apartment. 6:46pm we drove Ms. Dunbetter home and we went off duty the next day. May 20th. 11:17am I'll get it. Burglary Friday who's that? Oh, sure. Yeah, Wendy. Come in. I see. Oh, well, I wouldn't know. What's he looked like? Mm. Yeah, we'd like to.

[Officer Frank Smith]

Right.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

Thanks a lot. That was Chubb Starks.

[Narrator]

Who?

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

You know, Stark, the bartender over at the Yellow Camp.

[Officer Frank Smith]

Oh, yeah? What's he want?

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

Guy came into his place last night. He was carrying a pretty big roll. He threw it around. Bought drinks for the house. Yeah? Got kind of loaded and did some talking about how easy he'd picked up the dough. Just walked in again this morning, huh?

[Officer Frank Smith]

Sound like anything to you?

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

Chubb says he's about six foot, black hair. Yeah. Scar on his foreh.

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[Commercial Voice]

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[Sergeant Joe Friday]

Frank and I drove out to the Yellow Cap Bar on Figueroa. Chubb Stark, the bartender, pointed out a husky man sitting in a corner booth. We went over to talk to him.

[Officer Frank Smith]

Keep your hands on the table and stand up.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

Police officers. On your feet.

[Ralph Port Long]

Okay, okay.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

All right, you can sit down again.

[Ralph Port Long]

Something eating you guys?

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

What's your name? Why? Come on, what is it?

[Ralph Port Long]

Port Long. Ralph Port Long.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

Where do you live?

[Ralph Port Long]

Hotel around the corner.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

How long you been staying there?

[Ralph Port Long]

Since last night.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

How about before that?

[Ralph Port Long]

Back east? They just got in town yesterday.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

Whereabouts back east?

[Ralph Port Long]

What kind of a roust is this?

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

Where back east?

[Announcer]

All over. Chicago. Cleveland.

[Ralph Port Long]

All over.

[Officer Frank Smith]

What kind of business you in?

[Ralph Port Long]

Unemployed.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

You got any money?

[Ralph Port Long]

Some.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

How much?

[Ralph Port Long]

Look, I ain't no vag, if that's what you get.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

How much money you got?

[Announcer]

A hundred bucks.

[Ralph Port Long]

Maybe 150.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

Where'd you get it? I borrowed it. Who from? Powell in la.

[Officer Frank Smith]

Chicago.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

What's his name?

[Ralph Port Long]

Johnson. Cliff Johnson.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

You got his address? I don't know.

[Ralph Port Long]

He moves around, same as I do.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

How are you gonna pay him back if you don't know where he lives?

[Ralph Port Long]

We'll bump into each other.

[Officer Frank Smith]

What'd you say you got in town, Port Long?

[Ralph Port Long]

I told you yesterday.

[Officer Frank Smith]

What time?

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

Six o'. Clock.

[Ralph Port Long]

Somewhere in there.

[Officer Frank Smith]

Yesterday morning?

[Ralph Port Long]

Last night.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

You sure then? Yeah. How'd you come? Train car. You own the car?

[Ralph Port Long]

I hitched a ride.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

Just where were you yesterday afternoon?

[Ralph Port Long]

Riding into la.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

All afternoon? Yep. What was the driver's name?

[Ralph Port Long]

Look, how should I. And I've been hitchin for the last week. I must rode with 20 different guys.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

You don't remember the one you were with yesterday? Nope.

[Officer Frank Smith]

Ever been arrested? Port Long.

[Ralph Port Long]

Nothing serious.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

Well, tell us about it.

[Ralph Port Long]

Drunk, that's all.

[Officer Frank Smith]

Where was that?

[Ralph Port Long]

Ohio, when I was a kid.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

Anything else?

[Ralph Port Long]

Yeah, I got some speeding tickets.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

You ever been arrested? In California.

[Ralph Port Long]

Never been in California.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

First trip, huh?

[Announcer]

Yep.

[Ralph Port Long]

You ain't exactly making me feel at home either.

[Officer Frank Smith]

You know an apartment house called At Topeka Arms?

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

Where?

[Officer Frank Smith]

About six In Olympic.

[Ralph Port Long]

Where's that?

[Officer Frank Smith]

In la.

[Ralph Port Long]

Look, can't you get nothing straight? I ain't never been here before. How about giving me an answer?

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

Why?

[Ralph Port Long]

They're roused.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

Come on, let's go.

[Announcer]

What for?

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

We'll show you the sites. For instance, City Hall. Frank and I took the suspect into custody for further questioning. 12:16pm we ran the name Ralph Portlawn through R and I. They had nothing on him. We put out an APB with his description stating that he was in our custody. The bulletin requested any information about the suspect and was marked attention Chicago PD and Cleveland Police Department. 2:18pm we again interviewed Port Long. He insisted he had not arrived in Los Angeles until 6 o' clock the previous evening and refused to say anything more. 4:06pm we received replies to our APB on Portland. Chicago reported two convictions for grand theft auto and Cleveland reported one conviction for burglary second degree. We telephoned Ms. Dunbetter and arranged for her to attend a special show up at The Main Jail, 6:17pm The Show up was completed and Frank and I took the victim back to our office.

[Officer Frank Smith]

Well, ma', am, you're sure it isn't the same man?

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

My goodness gracious. I ought to know.

[Announcer]

Yes.

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

I don't see how you could have made such a mistake.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

Well, he fits your description, even of the scar.

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

But I told you it was ziggity zag.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

Yeah, you did.

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

This man's scar is entirely different.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

Yes, ma'.

[Announcer]

Am.

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

His hair is wrong, too.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

Is that right?

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

Other man had some gray in it right across here.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

I thought you said he was fairly young.

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

But he doesn't have to be old to get gray. I've been grave since I had my appendix out. I was only 34.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

All right. What have you taken home now?

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

It's really a shame, ma'.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

Am.

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

You arrested that poor fellow and he hasn't done anything.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

Burglary, Friday. Yeah. Yeah, that's right. When did you get it? No, not yet. Will you notify him? Right. Well, I guess we don't need to feel too sorry for Port Long.

[Officer Frank Smith]

What do you mean?

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

Another answer on our APB. Yeah, you're right, Ms. Dunbet. He couldn't have been your burger.

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

Well, I told you, didn't I?

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

He was in Needles yesterday afternoon. He hitched a ride. Yeah. Slugged the driver, Ralph. Port Long was held pending arrival of authorities from Needles. The investigation of the apartment house burglary continued. Two more suspects were brought in for questioning. Both men succeeded in establishing alibis for the time of the crime. Monday, May 23, 1:48pm Frank and I were on our way back to the office from lunch.

[Officer Frank Smith]

How was your pie?

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

All right.

[Officer Frank Smith]

Just okay, huh?

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

I said it was all right.

[Officer Frank Smith]

Lemon meringue, wasn't it?

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

Yeah.

[Officer Frank Smith]

I don't know, Joe. You should have had apple.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

Mm.

[Officer Frank Smith]

I told you, stick with apple, you can't go wrong.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

The lemon was good.

[Officer Frank Smith]

You didn't finish it.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

I was full.

[Officer Frank Smith]

Yeah, well, someday you'll learn.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

Learn what?

[Officer Frank Smith]

Apple pie is always safe. You can't louse it up. Even a bad cook can.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

Well, get a little tired of it once in a while, that's all.

[Officer Frank Smith]

No reason you should. You can switch it around so many different ways.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

Yeah, I know. Cheese.

[Officer Frank Smith]

Alamo hot sauce. No reason to get tired of apple.

[Announcer]

Joe? Sure. Hey, Joe.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

Yeah?

[Announcer]

Call for you while you're out.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

Oh, hey, she wants you to call back.

[Announcer]

Here's the number.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

Thanks.

[Announcer]

Sure.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

Bessie Maxson. Who's that? I don't know. Misses Maxson, there's the police department. Sergeant Friday? Yes, that's right. We were the ones. I guess we can. Was something wrong?

[Announcer]

You sure?

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

Then all right. Right away. Thank you for calling. Goodbye. Ms. Dunbetter's sister, she just got back from Oxnard.

[Narrator]

Yeah?

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

She says it never happened.

[Officer Frank Smith]

What do you mean?

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

The burglary. Says her sister made it up. Frank and I drove out to the Topeka Arms and we went up to apartment number eight. It was 2:17 when we got there. Somebody's coming again. Well?

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

Well, what is it?

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

Ms. Maxim?

[Bessie Maxson]

That's right. That's right.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

Well, my name's Friday. I just spoke to you over the telephone.

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

Oh, yes. Yes, of course.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

This is Frank Smith.

[Bessie Maxson]

Oh, how do you do?

[Officer Frank Smith]

How you do, ma'?

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

Am.

[Bessie Maxson]

Come right along inside.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

Thank you.

[Bessie Maxson]

I just don't know what to say. I suppose it's all my fault for going out of town. She'd never left Martha alone. Might have known she'd be up to something.

[Officer Frank Smith]

Are you positively sure about this, Ms. Maxon?

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

About what? About what?

[Officer Frank Smith]

That there wasn't any burglary.

[Bessie Maxson]

Oh, never in a million years.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

Well, your sister gave us all the details.

[Bessie Maxson]

Play acting. That's all it was. Play acting. She's done it all alive.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

Oh, I see.

[Officer Frank Smith]

You mean Ms. Dunbetter isn't.

[Bessie Maxson]

My sister is as sane as you are, if that's what you're driving at.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

Well, then why'd she tell us that story? Do you know?

[Bessie Maxson]

Haven't got the vaguest notion. She simply won't give me any explanation.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

Oh, I see.

[Bessie Maxson]

If the story was true, why won't she face me? Why is she hiding?

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

Hiding?

[Bessie Maxson]

Minute I told her I was going to call you, she locked herself in the bathroom.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

Is that right?

[Bessie Maxson]

She's been in there for two hours now. She simply refuses to come out.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

Well, we'd like to talk to her if we can.

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

Yeah, I'll try again.

[Bessie Maxson]

The fact that you're here may have some influence.

[Officer Frank Smith]

You think we're getting a run around, Joe?

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

Sounds that way, doesn't it?

[Ralph Port Long]

Yeah.

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

Martha.

[Bessie Maxson]

Martha, you come out of there this instant. Martha Dunbetter, do you hear me? The policemen want to talk to you. Now come out. The police are here.

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

I won't. I won't never come out.

[Bessie Maxson]

I never heard of such childishness. You see, I'm not able to do a thing with her.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

Yes, ma'. Am.

[Bessie Maxson]

Maybe if you speak to her, she'll come to her senses.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

All right.

[Bessie Maxson]

Oh, Sister, care. Not like this. I don't know how I'll ever be able to hold my head up again.

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

It's scandalous.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

Miss Dunbetter, this is Sergeant Friday. Ms. Dunbetter. Will you come out so we can talk to you, Miss Dunbetter?

[Bessie Maxson]

Well, it's about time. Whatever were you thinking of, Martha? What got into you?

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

Not speaking to you.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

Bessie, let's go into the other room. Be easier to talk there.

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

Yes, sir.

[Bessie Maxson]

Not speaking to me, huh? Well, two can play at that game. And I assure you, I won't be

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

the one who suffers.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

All right, ladies, would you like to sit down? Now, Miss Dunbetter, can we clear this thing up? Now, your sister says there wasn't any burglary.

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

How would she know? She wasn't here, was she?

[Bessie Maxson]

I know because I know you. And I know you never had $300 to your name.

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

I did too.

[Bessie Maxson]

Where'd you get it? Where'd you get it?

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

None of your business.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

All right. Now, how about it, Miss Dunbetter? Did you have $300?

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

Well, never said it was exactly 300. Not to the penny.

[Bessie Maxson]

$3 would be more like it.

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

There happens to be few things you don't know about. Including my savings.

[Bessie Maxson]

A likely storyer. You never saved a penny in your life. What about my diamond? I shook it the other day. I thank you to keep your hands off my property. Savings, indeed. If I didn't pay most of the expenses around here, you'd starve to death.

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

I managed quite well before you moved in on me, Bessie.

[Bessie Maxson]

And I was perfectly happy living alone.

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

Matter of fact, I preferred that arrangement.

[Bessie Maxson]

But maybe you'd like to try it again. Maybe I would.

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

I'm sure there'd be money ahead. Don't you hark me, Betty. Maxim, you ought to see the way she eats. Gobble, gobble, gobble. She shovels it down.

[Bessie Maxson]

Stuff and nonsense. I don't have any more appetite than a bird.

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

Bird? Don't nip the cooking sherry, Martha Dunbetter,

[Bessie Maxson]

how can you say such a thing?

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

Cause I know it's true. I mark the bottle well.

[Bessie Maxson]

Whatever I do, I don't fib to the police like some people I could name.

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

Well, Miss Dunbitter, I made exaggerated respect.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

Mm.

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

Mean to do no harm.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

I wonder if you know it's against the law to file a false police report.

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

Against the law?

[Bessie Maxson]

There, you see? You're going to jail. I knew what would happen. I knew that sooner or later you'd disgrace all of us.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

What you doing? You must have had a reason, ma'.

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

Am, I won't tell you. Not in front of her, I won't.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

Well, now, let's see. Would you Mind waiting in the other room for a couple of minutes, Miss Maxim?

[Bessie Maxson]

I most certainly would.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

We'd appreciate it if you would.

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

No.

[Bessie Maxson]

Very well. Very well. You'd think I was the criminal around here.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

All right, Miss Dunbetter, tell us now, will you?

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

Very difficult to explain.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

Well, give it a try, will you?

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

It was all on account of her. Bessie.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

Go ahead.

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

Started when we was little girls. Cause she's older, she's always lording it over me. Mom and Daddy always gave her everything first. Hand me downs. It's all I got. Bessie's hand, me downs.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

I see.

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

And when we grew up, I couldn't push myself very much. She's just the opposite. Belle of the ball. She had a pick of all the young gentlemen in town. Only time they take me out was when Bessie was busy. Don't think she didn't let me know that I had second choice. The only reason she married a Horace because he took a fancy to me. Well, I had my pride, too. Wouldn't settle for her leftovers. That's why I stayed single.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

I see.

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

At least she could have done was name one of her little girls after me. After all, I'm her only sister.

[Officer Frank Smith]

Well, Miss Dunbetter, you still haven't told us why you reported the burglary.

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

I am telling you.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

Yes, ma'. Am.

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

On account of her birthday. Well, that was the last straw. She hasn't talked about anything else for months and months. Of course, she's 80 years old. You'd think she's the Queen of Romania. A picture in the paper of people making a fuss about her. I made up my mind that for once in my life, someone was going to make a fuss about me.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

I see.

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

To tell you the truth, I'm not a bit sorry I did it. I mean, yes, I should be sorry, but I'm not. I really enjoyed myself. And all those questions you asked me like I was somebody. My name was in the papers, too. First time it ever happened. Kind of strange when you come to think about it. To live 79 years without ever seeing your name in print. But that wasn't the best part, ma'.

[Officer Frank Smith]

Am.

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

Best part was Bessie not being able to horn in and take all the credit. I knew you'd find me out sooner or later, but I didn't care. I sure had the laugh on her. All the time she's in Oxnard being partied. I was having little parties of my own.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

Well, you know, you didn't need to put us through all this, Miss Dunbetter. You're almost 80 yourself?

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

It's over a year away. When you're my age, you can't be sure of anything.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

Yes, ma'. Am.

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

Besides, even when I'm 80, Bessie will still be ahead.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

How's that?

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

She'd be going on 90.

[Announcer]

The story you have just heard is true. The names have been changed to protect the innocent.

[Narrator]

On May 26, the hearing was held in the office of Perry Thomas, City Attorney. In a moment, the results of that hearing.

[Announcer]

Now, here is our star, Jack Webb.

[Sergeant Joe Friday]

Thank you. George Feniman. Put a smile in your smoking buy Chesterfield. It's the best cigarette ever made. For my money. Smooth, satisfying, mild and mellow. Believe me, in the whole wide world, no cigarette satisfies like Chesterfield.

[Narrator]

Due to the advanced age of Ms. Martha Dunbetter and because of her assurances that she would never repeat her actions, no charges were filed against her.

[Announcer]

Better schools build better communities. Join and work with your fellow citizens who are actively seeking to improve educational conditions.

[Narrator]

You have just heard Dragnet, a series of authentic cases from official files. Technical advice comes from the office of Chief of Police W.H. parker, Los Angeles Police Department. Technical Advisors, Captain Jack Donahoe, Sergeant Marty Wynn, Sergeant Vance Brayscher. Heard tonight were Ben Alexander, Virginia Gregg, Jack Crucian, Helen Kleeb. Script by Frank Burt. Music by Walter Schumann. Hal Gibney speaking.

[Announcer]

Watch an entirely different Dragnet case history each week on your local NBC television station. Please check your newspapers for the day. Chesterfield has brought you Dragnet. Transcribed from Los Angeles this is it.

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

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[Commercial Voice]

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[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

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[Sergeant Joe Friday]

Much more flavor.

[Mrs. Martha Dunbetter]

L&M's got everything.

[Commercial Voice]

It's the best.

[Announcer]

Yes, L and M's got everything. The miracle tip is white, pure white. To give you the purest and best filter. And you get a rich, good tasting, fully satisfying smoke from L and M's highest quality tobaccos. Buy L and M, America's best filter tip cigarette. It's sweeping the country. One man stands between death and 10 people on TV's new dramatic program, Mr. Citizen. See Edward Binn star in the true story Terror on Jack Rabbit Hill. Check your local TV listings for Mr. Citizen. Hear Dragnet next week, same time, same station. Lux radio theater presents barry sullivan in rope of sand tonight on the NBC radio network.

[Officer Frank Smith]

It.