Nero Wolfe: Phantom Fingers 01/26/1951

Summary

Podcast Summary: Nero Wolfe – "Phantom Fingers" (01/26/1951)

Podcast: Choice Classic Radio Detectives | Old Time Radio
Episode Air Date: January 20, 2026
Original Broadcast: January 26, 1951
Main Characters: Nero Wolfe, Archie Goodwin
Theme: Classic locked-room mystery featuring clever detective work, rapid-fire banter, and a fingerprint puzzle at the heart of murder.

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Episode Overview

In “Phantom Fingers,” detective Nero Wolfe and his witty assistant Archie Goodwin become stranded by a flood at an isolated country house where a murder has just occurred, and another soon follows. Trapped with a handful of strangers, Wolfe must unravel a classic whodunit puzzle: someone in the group is a killer, but the crucial fingerprints at the scene simply don't match anyone present. Only Wolfe’s unique logic—and Archie’s persistence—can solve the riddle of the “phantom” fingerprints and catch the murderer.

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Key Discussion Points & Investigation Breakdown

1. Journey to the Crime Scene

• Wolfe and Archie travel out of town to meet Mr. Finley, an orchid breeder (00:51–02:29).
• Archie jokes about Wolfe’s aversion to leaving the house, but the promise of rare black orchids lures him out.
• They face flooding on the road, are forced to detour, and discover a body lying in the mud—James Miller (02:58–07:22).

Archie (sarcastically): “You’re voluntarily leaving your happy home, exposing yourself to the elements?” (01:26)

2. Arrival at the Isolated House

• The duo finds themselves trapped by floodwaters and a collapsed bridge.
• The house is perched on a cliff, reachable only via a now-treacherous bridge (07:38–08:13).
• They deduce the body must be tied to this house and set out to investigate.

3. The Suspects Gather

• Inside, they meet three apparent strangers:
  • Peg Shirley, who claims to be a passerby (11:02, 12:59)
  • Joseph Wagner, another unexpected guest (13:00)
  • Sam Cregan, caught “taking a stroll” through the house (13:05)
• None admit to living there, but Wolfe is certain one must be lying—and one is the murderer.

Nero Wolfe: “Which further means that one of you three is a murderer. The murderer is the person who owns or lives in this house. All three of you denied being that person. Conclusion? One of you is a liar.” (13:30)

4. A Second Victim

• An injured tramp staggers in, mortally wounded, claiming, “Pushed off... saw Miller killed...” (14:28–14:42).
• Wolfe directs Archie and Cregan to carry him upstairs; the man dies soon after.

5. The Locked-Room Dilemma

• With the flood and bridge down, no one can leave or enter—Wolf deduces the killer must be among them (13:56–14:12).
• When the lights go out, someone leaves a ring of keys on a table, presumably to muddy the issue of identity (16:27–17:06).

6. The Phantom Fingerprints Puzzle

• The tramp is found stabbed in the chest; Wolfe orders fingerprinting of all suspects (18:01–21:28).
• The results? The fingerprints on the murder weapon match no one present, living or dead.

Wolfe: “The prince on the handle of the knife... do not match his prince or the prince of anyone in this room.” (21:53)

7. The Reveal: Negative Evidence

• Wolfe works through the mystery: the “phantom” prints are the result of a trick—over-inking the fingers reverses the ridges and valleys, like a photographic negative (23:13–24:37; 25:04–27:07).
• Wolfe catches Peg Shirley (revealed as Josephine) trying to mislead with faked prints, and she is unmasked as the murderer.

Wolfe: “You already had pressed your fingers on the ink pad once. Why were you about to do it a second time?” (25:15)

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On motive:

  Archie: “You know, if those black orchids have been holding their breath waiting for you, they're gonna be red in the face. Hey, new breed: red orchids, huh?” (26:17)

• On deductive logic:

  Wolfe: “Ghosts never leave fingerprints.” (22:25)

• On the final reveal:

  Wolfe: “She merely loaded her fingers so heavily with ink that she falsified the markings... in the same fashion that a photographic negative falsifies lights and darks.” (27:04)

• Archie spotting the crucial clue:

  Archie: “Oh. Because out in the country there are no pavements, so girls don’t go for walk in high heel shoes. Therefore, she hadn’t gone for a walk. Therefore, she was lying. Therefore, she killed Miller.” (28:16)

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Important Timestamps

• 00:51–02:29 – Archie and Wolfe’s banter on orchids and the trip
• 02:58–07:22 – The first murder discovered
• 13:30 – Wolfe isolates the suspects and announces one is a murderer
• 14:28–14:53 – Second victim arrives, delivers dying clue
• 18:01–21:28 – Fingerprint test and the “phantom fingerprints” conundrum
• 23:07–27:07 – The solution: prints as photographic negatives; Josephine unmasked
• 28:16 – The final clue: high heels on a country walk

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Tone & Style

The episode is rich in witty exchanges between Wolfe and Archie, with classic dry humor and wordplay, e.g., Archie’s riffing on Wolfe’s aversion to leaving home and his tendency to undercut Wolfe’s gravitas. The atmosphere is tense—evoking stormy, claustrophobic menace—with all characters trapped by weather and suspicion.

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Conclusion

“Phantom Fingers” is a textbook locked-room mystery bolstered by evocative 1950s radio drama style, charming repartee, and an ingenious twist on fingerprint evidence. The story showcases Nero Wolfe’s deductive genius and Archie Goodwin’s comedic flair, bringing listeners directly into the heart of Golden Age detective fiction.

Fans of clever puzzles and vintage audio drama will find this episode a prime example of the genre’s enduring appeal.

Transcript

[A]

New year, new priorities. Real value. Real value means more than what you pay today. It's what your vehicle gives you every day after at McCurley Subaru. New Subaru vehicles are built with purpose standard all wheel drive, advanced safety technology and legendary reliability. Designed for the long haul. And if certified is the right fit. Certified pre owned delivers trusted value, too. This year, choose smart value. Think McCurley Subaru.

[B]

Welcome to Choice Classic Radio, where we bring to you the greatest old time radio shows like us on Facebook, subscribe to us on YouTube and thank you for [e-mail].

[C]

Ladies and gentlemen, the ringing of that phone bell means mystery adventure.

[D]

Nero Wolf's office. Archie Goodwin speaking. What? You're expecting Mr. Wolf at your place in three hours. Your place is where? Yes, well, I'm expecting hedy Lamar in 15 minutes. Yeah, but, mister, we're both out of luck.

[E]

Archie, what are you babbling about?

[D]

There's a character on the phone who's laboring under the naive delusion that you're about to make a trip upstate.

[E]

His name?

[D]

Finley, he said.

[E]

In that case, he's quite correct.

[D]

Yeah, he's quite. Yes, Mr. Finley. Mr. Wolf will be there. Yeah.

[C]

Goodbye.

[E]

I shall need some beer, Archie.

[D]

The bottle opener's in the right hand drawer. Thank you. What one of us needs is a psychiatrist. You're voluntarily leaving your happy home, exposing yourself to the elements, entrusting your only life to a savage automobile?

[E]

I am?

[D]

Oh, somebody's offered you the United States treasury, huh?

[E]

Mr. Finley happens to grow orchids. Among them, he has developed a plant possessing spurdlabilli. I have an opportunity to purchase a couple of the plants.

[D]

Therefore, I don't believe it.

[E]

But, Archie, according to the reports I have received, he has produced a strain of black cypripedium.

[D]

Oh, well, in that case. But, Mr. Wolf, while it's true that black may be the color of your true love's hair, it is also true that black is the color of funerals.

[C]

Ladies and gentlemen, it's the detective genius who rates the knife and fork. The greatest tools ever invented by man. The ponderous, brilliant and unpredictable Nero Wolf, created by Rex Stout and brought to you in the person of Mr. Sydney Greenstreet.

[D]

Beginning of the Case of the Phantom Fingers. Actually had nothing to do with black orchids. The first act was played in an old house at the end of an old dirt road. It was short and simple, as short as life and as simple as murder. Joe, I didn't believe the letters I got. Didn't believe them until Now I've been a lonely man. No wife, children. Joe, it was all coming to you after I died. There was no need for you to steal from me. All you had to do was wait. Joe, that gun. Put it down.

[E]

No.

[F]

No.

[D]

No.

[E]

Aji.

[D]

Yes, Mr. Wool?

[E]

How much longer?

[D]

Oh, an hour maybe. Why?

[E]

I'm a fool.

[D]

Yeah, well, payday's tomorrow. I refuse to agree with you. Besides, the trip's been fine so far. Huh. So there's snow on the road, but phooey. Well, it's nice snow. Pretty soon it'll be spring. And in the spring, if you mention.

[E]

Old titmouse once more, I shall strangle you.

[D]

No, no, it's against the law. But you know that snow melts much faster. The trees won't look so pretty.

[E]

Trees? Are they really necessary?

[D]

Uh huh. People cut them down and make paper out of them. And they take the paper and make dollar bills. Mr. Wolf, we're surrounded by future fees.

[E]

I prefer the finished product. What on earth is that?

[D]

Sounds like a river.

[E]

Indeed.

[D]

Except there aren't any rivers around here.

[E]

Hey. Yeah.

[D]

Up ahead.

[E]

What?

[D]

It's a river. Only it isn't a river.

[E]

It's wet.

[D]

It's wet and it's got waves on. It had to start raining too. Nature free road behind us is covered with water. Just have to keep going onward and upward.

[E]

Would you like to recite Excelsior to me? Sure.

[D]

Shades of night were falling fast when through an alpine village passed an idiot of your caliber.

[E]

No doubt an infernal engine has died.

[D]

No, no. The road dips up ahead. And where it dips, there's a junior Mississippi growing up.

[E]

Splendid.

[D]

Not so splendid. We can't go back and we can't go forward.

[E]

Why not?

[D]

They didn't build this model to swim.

[E]

No foresight. What do we do now?

[D]

Well, we could abandon the car and walk.

[E]

Are you mad? Are you seriously suggesting I indulge in a foot race of the flood?

[D]

Yeah, well, not seriously. But.

[E]

You'Ve decided to give the car a swimming lesson.

[D]

No. There's what looks like a cow path leading off the highway to your right. Maybe it's a road.

[E]

We progress. We now follow the footstep of the cow.

[D]

Ah, it is a road. An old dirt road. Not only that, it goes up.

[E]

Is that good?

[D]

Theoretically, we might get above the water that way.

[E]

And if the theory fails.

[D]

Mr. Wolf, how are you on the Australian crawl? Hey, there's been another car on this road before us. You can see the tire tracks in the mud.

[E]

Interesting. An indication that there are Other maniacs about. I myself would not have chosen this particular spot to picnic in.

[D]

It's not that. There's somebody lying on the road.

[E]

People have peculiar habits. Ignore him and drive on.

[D]

Uhuh. Hold on a moment. Mr. Wolf, you better come out here.

[E]

My man is. Has its limits. The answer is no. Serious, Arie?

[D]

Very serious.

[E]

Very well.

[D]

Yeah, still alive, but the man's being shoddy. Joe.

[E]

Be still.

[G]

Oh, don't forgive stealing.

[D]

Don't.

[E]

So much for that. Pick him up, Archie. Put him in the car.

[D]

Might be bad for him to be moved.

[E]

No, there is nothing that can be bad for him. He's dead. Is this drastic road leading anywhere, Argy?

[D]

Well, seems to be a clearing up ahead.

[H]

Maybe.

[D]

Hey, it's a house.

[E]

Splendid.

[D]

I'm not so sure. It's perched up on top of a cliff, surrounded on three sides by nothing. On the side facing us, there's a deep ravine and a small wooden bridge.

[E]

Island in the air.

[D]

Yeah, high enough to keep above water maybe. But now that bridge doesn't look too good. Rain may have weakened it.

[E]

Have no choice, Archie. I have no intention of being drowned in these barbaric surroundings. The bridge, Archie.

[D]

Okay, hold on. No, that thing's collapsing under us.

[E]

Our momentum.

[D]

Sir.

[E]

Sir.

[D]

Well, if it doesn't, 37 blondes are going to be wearing black. Correction, 38. I forgot the one in Gimble's bargain basement. Hey, we made it. The bridge will never be the same though. There's a car ahead of us in front of the house.

[E]

The car from which our friend, our dead friend, was thrown. Only one set of car tracks in the mud along the road and here.

[D]

And all we have to do is walk in, ask for the owner of the house, and possibly.

[E]

And possibly not. Archie, Go through the corpse's pockets.

[D]

Well, that's not cricket. Yeah, all right, all right. I'm going through. Not much on him. Handkerchief. Silver. Driver's license. The name was James Miller. Address? Garner Lane, Walden. Now, I've got an idea. This is Garner Lane, Mr. Walton.

[E]

In which case someone named Joe was looking after the house for him, committed theft and murdered Miller. Miller's body was then dumped on the road in the hopes that the floods would wash the body away. No one at the house seems to have noticed their arrival.

[D]

Nope. Well, let's go in and ask for Joe, huh?

[E]

Very well. With the bridge down, there's absolutely no way of getting on or off this place.

[D]

Except. Except for a mountain goat. I don't know any mountain goats. I used to know a plain goat once. Though he ran at the 5th of Jamaica.

[E]

Stop mourning.

[D]

I never Maunder. Also, I never win bets on horse races. That's why I continue to work for you.

[E]

That is also why you had better ring the door there.

[D]

Okay, okay. Nobody's gonna break a leg rushing to open the door, I suppose.

[E]

You try. I have it more than enough of the weather.

[D]

Is that polite? Besides, the killer may have some more bullets in that gun.

[E]

Are you afraid?

[D]

Sure. Phooey.

[E]

The door, archie.

[D]

But old Dr. Titmouse would say. Well, never mind. Hey, somebody was careless leaving the door open like that. On the other hand, does a spider ever shut its web? The answer is no. Are we flies? Yeah.

[E]

Out of my way, Artie.

[D]

There are lights up ahead. Must be the living room.

[G]

Excuse me.

[D]

Sure, sure. You're excused.

[G]

Do you live here, sir?

[D]

Do we? No, don't you?

[G]

Of course not. This is very strange. I came out to see the people who live here or the person. I found the door open and no one about. I've been sitting in this corner now for a long time.

[D]

Oh, it's a pity no one offered you a plum pie. Then you could have stuck in your thumb.

[E]

You saw no one enter, sir?

[G]

No one at all? I didn't want to go any further. It would have seemed like prying.

[E]

Perhaps you had better come along with us.

[G]

Well, all right. You know, this place, it has an evil atmosphere.

[D]

Certainly has. What it needs is fresh air.

[E]

This would be the living room door, Joby.

[D]

It is. Looks as pretty as a picture.

[E]

Abby.

[D]

Oh, hello. Well, just think of it. Five minutes ago, you know, I didn't know you existed. And you didn't know I existed.

[E]

And now, Archie, your existence will have a sudden end unless you keep quiet. Excuse us for intruding, Ms. Intruding, but.

[F]

I really should ask you to excuse me.

[E]

You do not live here.

[F]

I wish I did. But, you see, I've been out walking. I live maybe a whole mile from here. And then when the flood began, I. I thought I'd come in here and stay for a while. And you found an empty house.

[D]

That's not what I found. As old Dr. Titmouse has often said.

[E]

Go through the rest of the house, Archie.

[D]

Go through the. Yeah, well, never mind. I'll shut down. Somebody's walking coming downstairs. I'll go and see. Hey, come on into the living room. Meet your guests in one or several pieces, as you prefer.

[E]

Your what?

[H]

Hi, you folks.

[E]

Who said last?

[H]

That's very funny.

[E]

I think I'll laugh. May I ask why?

[H]

Because this here ain't my dump. I was just casing the joint. I mean, I was just taking a.

[E]

Stroll through the house.

[H]

I'm eccentric.

[E]

Oh, clever. However, I think you better stay.

[H]

Why?

[E]

Because you may turn out to be the owner of this house after all. I rather think introductions are in order.

[F]

Hello. I'm Peg Shirley.

[G]

My name is Wagner.

[E]

Joseph Wagner.

[D]

Lewis. How about you? Stroller.

[H]

Craigen. Sam. Cragan. Peg.

[D]

Louie.

[G]

Sam.

[E]

Mr. Cregan, while you were strolling upstairs, did you notice anyone else about?

[H]

No.

[E]

There was no one outside when Archie and I entered. The bridge is down, effectively cutting us off from further visitors. We may assume, therefore, that we are the only people in or about this house.

[H]

Yeah, it's cozy, ain't it?

[E]

Which further means that one of you three is a murderer. The murderer is the person who owns or lives in this house. All three of you denied being that person. Conclusion? One of you is a liar. I hardly expected a full, immediate confession. However, we are absolutely isolated here. No one is going to come or leave until we have our killer.

[G]

You know, you can't really keep us here.

[E]

The flood can and will. Remember, the bridge is no longer. So, you see? Just the five of us alone. No one else inside the house. No one outside. Therefore.

[D]

Correction, Mr. Wolf.

[H]

Maybe it's a branch or something happened against the door.

[E]

Unlikely.

[D]

Archie. Okay, I'll go see who or what it is. Hey, I got him. Somebody shut the door.

[H]

Yeah, all right, I get it.

[E]

A disreputable and unwashed gentleman. Head badly hurt. Is he conscious, Archie?

[D]

I don't know. He's mumbling something.

[E]

Legs pushed off.

[D]

He's passed out. I guess he was trying to say that somebody pushed him out on a ledge. Side of the cliff, maybe. He must have regained consciousness and crawled to the house. Where'll I put him? Mr. Wall?

[E]

Bedroom, I suppose. We'll need first aid. We can't get a doctor. Cregan, where are the bedrooms?

[H]

One right up at the head of the stairs. And don't ask me how.

[E]

I happen to know we shot Archie.

[D]

Okay, I'll need somebody to help me carry him up without shaking him too badly.

[E]

Cregan.

[H]

Okay, let's go.

[E]

As for the rest of you. Mr. Wagner, Ms. Shirley, I suggest we return to the living room.

[G]

But I don't see any reason why we should take orders from you.

[E]

One of you is a murderer. I include Mr. Cregan, of course.

[F]

But that poor man wasn't dead.

[E]

Not for lack of trying. However, I was not referring to him.

[G]

You mean. You mean someone else has been killed?

[E]

Precisely. That is Why? I hope we should not hear another knocking at the door. It could only be a corpse. Haji and Criggan. Yeah.

[D]

The injured man still out. Probably got a concussion.

[E]

Did he say anything further?

[D]

He babbled a bit.

[E]

I don't know if we should assume we're among friends. Archie, exactly what did he say?

[D]

Well, he was pushed over the edge of the cliff because he saw Miller killed.

[E]

Did he also see who?

[D]

No. Passed out before he had a chance. He's an old tramp, Mr. Wolf. He was bumming his way through the country when he saw the murder.

[E]

He must have decided on a touch of blackmail and receiving a concussion instead. Which may last for hours. Or for days.

[D]

Somebody's playing with the lights.

[E]

Some fool.

[D]

The switch was over this way. Lights are on again. Whose idea was that?

[G]

I had nothing to do with it.

[H]

Me neither.

[E]

Ms. Shirley, why did you scream?

[F]

Well, someone rushed against me in the darkness. You were standing near the table.

[E]

This table, Archie.

[D]

Nothing on the table except a bunch of keys on a ring.

[H]

Something screwy. Why should a guy put the lights out just to deposit a bunch of keys on a table?

[E]

Obvious. Without doubt, those are the keys of this house. Possession of them would have disclosed which of you lives here and which of you therefore killed Miller.

[H]

It's late.

[E]

I shall sleep down here. Lacking an elevator to transport me upstairs.

[D]

The elevator's lacking, yes.

[E]

The rest of you should be able to find bedrooms upstairs. Good night, Archie.

[H]

Yeah.

[E]

Follow them upstairs. Spend the night awake.

[D]

Okay.

[E]

Good heavens, Archie.

[D]

On my way. What's cooking up here?

[H]

Somebody's playing with the lights up.

[D]

Strike a match.

[H]

You don't have to. I got a flashlight.

[D]

Oh, here it is. Light switch. You know, this putting out of lights is getting to be somebody's bad habit. Well, all three of you seem to be okay.

[C]

Stay here.

[F]

Where are you going?

[D]

Triumph's room, right here at the head of the stairs. Think of all your good deeds while I'm gone. All right. Downstairs again. What again?

[C]

Oh, dear.

[F]

What happened?

[D]

Well, it was more than a bunch of keys this time.

[F]

That knife, there's blood on it.

[D]

There should be. I just pulled it out of a man's heart. Well, Mr. Wolf, one of these three babies doused the lights, popped into the tramp's room, deposited the knife in his chest and popped right out again.

[E]

The knife you're holding.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

Intelligent of you to wrap a handkerchief around the handle.

[D]

Well, whoever killed the tramp didn't have time to fool around with gloves, so.

[E]

There should be prints on the knife handle. Satisfactory, Archie?

[D]

That's mild enthusiasm.

[E]

Archie. On that desk, an ink pad.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

Ms. Shirley, you carry feast powder, of course?

[F]

Yes, I do.

[E]

Archie will need it to bring out the prints on the knife. He will then fingerprint each of you, compare your prints with those on the knife and we shall have a murderer to hand over to the police. Archie, will you begin, please?

[D]

Here they are, Mr. Wolfe, three cards labeled with Ms. Shirley's name, Cregan's and Wagner's. Their respective prints are on each card.

[E]

Good. I have the knife here. Several quite distinct prints on. Should be child's play to Archie.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

Take your own prince and mine.

[D]

What?

[E]

Yours, I say quickly.

[D]

Yes, sir. All right, give me your thumb. Thank you. That's it. Now mine. Thank me.

[E]

There's something wrong. Something wrong and deadly. Losing this house tonight, alas.

[D]

A card with your prints in mind.

[E]

Thank you.

[D]

Now you got five cards all together.

[E]

So I have Archie.

[D]

What now?

[E]

Take the ink pad and a fresh card with you.

[D]

Where am I going with him?

[E]

Upstairs.

[D]

But, Mr. Wolf, there's nobody upstairs except the corpse.

[E]

Precisely. It is his friends I want.

[G]

Oh, this is so ridiculous.

[E]

Archie.

[D]

Yeah, I got the dead man's prints.

[E]

Will all of you please sit? All right, but good heavens, young woman, be careful. We want no accidents.

[F]

Sorry, I caught my high heels in the rug.

[E]

Archie, the card with the corpse has prints on it.

[D]

Yes, sir.

[E]

Thank you.

[G]

You know, I've had quite enough of this nonsense.

[E]

Have you, Mr. Wagner?

[H]

And so have I, Mr. Wolf. Also, I don't think you know what you're doing.

[E]

Perhaps not. However, I have something rather interesting to tell all of you. There is no one in this house besides yourselves. Except of course, for the dead man upstairs. There is no one on the rock on which this house stands. Except for another dead man in our car.

[D]

Look, we already know all that.

[E]

Bear with me. We may rule out secret passages, unusual hiding places or anything of that esoteric and childish nature. We may also rest assured that no one has come to or left this house or rock within the last few hours.

[D]

That means we're kind of hermetically sealed here, huh? Meaning also that whoever was here when the tramp was killed is still here. Still here in this room.

[E]

Correct, Archie. Now then, I have checked the dead tramp's prints against those on the knife. Theoretically, suicide was possible. However, the prints do not match.

[H]

That guy was in no condition to kill himself anyway.

[D]

True.

[E]

And I checked Archie's prints and mine against those on the knife. No similarity.

[F]

But no one suspected either of you.

[E]

Thank you. But I had to be Thorough. That left only the three of you. I compared your cards and the prince on them with the prince on the handle of the knife. And I want you to remember one thing very clearly. We are the only living people in this house or on this rock of land. No tricks are possible and may be ruled out.

[H]

All right, so what?

[E]

This. The prince on the handle of the knife that pierced the heart of the man upstairs do not match his prince or the prince of anyone in this room. No, mine wouldn't match.

[G]

Would you mind saying that again?

[D]

He doesn't have to. In those cards, Mr. Wolf has the prints of everybody here and yet none of them match the prints on the knife handle. But.

[F]

Well, in that case, who or what killed him?

[G]

There must be someone else in the house.

[E]

I give you my word, there is not.

[H]

Hey, you thinking about ghosts or something?

[E]

Ghosts never leave fingerprints.

[F]

I've got to get away. I can't stand this.

[E]

Me too.

[D]

Come on, lady.

[G]

But I'll come along with you, if you don't mind.

[D]

Mr. Wolf.

[E]

Let them go. The bridge is down. They can't get far.

[D]

Okay. I don't get it. Get one on the fingerprint business and who killed Miller, plus the trampoline.

[E]

The identity of the killer, Archie, is quite obvious.

[D]

It is? To who?

[E]

To whom?

[D]

Who's whom? That's a joke. Yeah, I'm stalling for self respect, you know.

[E]

Of course I do. I have no conclusive proof. However, I had hoped the fingerprints would be of assistance there, but they proved to be phantoms.

[D]

I'm still smarting about the other thing. You know, it's at times like this that I almost agree with you about my intelligence.

[E]

Lack of intelligence.

[D]

Yeah, well, don't rub it in. Don't rub it in. Just go ahead. Yeah, well, maybe you better rub it in. From now on you may refer to my brain in the negative.

[E]

In the negative. Bless you.

[D]

Archie, what I've just done, I don't know, but can I have a raise? No, I'll take it back.

[E]

You can't get the others in at once.

[D]

Mr. Wolf, you now have the appearance of Mr. Wolf being surrounded by several dozen bottles of beer. What have I done?

[E]

You've explained the fingerprints, Archie. Harry, I don't want to keep the killer in suspense.

[G]

I don't care. No, I'm very nervous.

[E]

Archie, they're all here. Yes, but they're all making a noise. Stop them.

[D]

Surely Mr. Crig and Mr. Wagner, will you please shut Mr. Wolf?

[G]

They have.

[E]

Thank you, Archie. Now then. I have known for some little time which of you killed the tramp and Miller. I lacked proof, however.

[G]

And you. You have it.

[E]

Now, I will admit, for a while I was flummoxed by the negative evidence of the fingerprints. They seem to indicate that the tramp was murdered by a phantom. However, the word negative itself has solved the minor problem.

[D]

Minor? To whom? To whom? Never mind.

[H]

Shh.

[E]

Archie, what is the salient feature of a film negative?

[D]

Well, I suppose it's the fact that the dark's a light and the light's a dark.

[E]

Precisely. A reversal then of the actual appearances. Now, are there any similarities between filmed images and fingerprints?

[D]

In a way you could call the whorls and hollows that determine the individual characteristics of a fingerprint. The lights and darks, huh?

[E]

You could. I shall. Ms. Shirley, would you help in an experiment?

[F]

Of course.

[E]

Thank you. Archie, I want you to take Ms. Shirley's fingerprints once again.

[H]

Okay.

[D]

Pad and card. Here, Ms. Shirley.

[F]

All right, Archie.

[E]

Quick, grab her arm.

[D]

I got it. Usually I don't have to be coached.

[F]

But let go of me. What are you trying to do?

[E]

Ms. Shirley? You already had pressed your fingers on the ink pad once. Why were you about to do it a second time?

[F]

Well, I. I just wanted to make a better impression.

[E]

Truly. Archie wiped some of the ink off her fingers.

[F]

But then it won't be any good.

[E]

It'll be very good, Archie.

[D]

I've done it. And take the prince.

[F]

No, no. Let go of me.

[D]

Maybe I never hurt women if I can help it, but right now I won't be able to help it. Mr. Wolf wants your prince all over again. So down on the nice white card. No, thanks.

[E]

Will you let me have that card now, Archie?

[D]

Sure.

[E]

In the meanwhile, hold on to Ms. Shirley.

[D]

A pleasure indeed.

[E]

Would you continue to think so, Archie, if I told you that Ms. Shirley's first name is not Peggy, but happens to be Josephine? For which the diminutive is Joe.

[D]

Glad they're fixing the bridge. I was beginning to think we'd be here forever.

[E]

We have been.

[D]

You know, if those black orchids have been holding their breath waiting for you, they're gonna be red in the face. Hey, new breed red orchids, huh? Ah, G maest, you talk well, it's fun. Also, you've been holding out on me about the case.

[E]

I surrender.

[H]

Okay.

[D]

You know, when we compared the new prints of Josephine with those on the knife, you could have knocked me over with a sash weight. They were identical.

[E]

Naturally, she stabbed the tramp.

[D]

Yeah, but what was the fingerprint gag?

[E]

She merely loaded her fingers so heavily with ink that she falsified the markings. She filled up the hollows and walls with ink. The result was that ridges became hollows and vice versa in the same fashion that a photographic negative falsifies lights and darks.

[D]

You got that when I mentioned the word negative? It works, huh?

[E]

Try it sometime.

[D]

Yeah, the very next bank I rob. But you said you knew who killed Miller and the tramp even before you exposed the fingerprint gimmick.

[H]

How?

[E]

We knew Miller's murderer lived in this house, had been stealing from him and so on. Stealing what? Cash, of course. He, as the girl admitted, was an eccentric, kept his money on the property. Cregan had probably heard of it. Hence his casing of the house.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

Our problem, therefore, was to discover who lived in this house. All three suspects denied it. Josephine Shirley told us, as you may remember, that she'd gone for a walk and then been driven by the flood to this house where we found her.

[D]

Well, that's what she said. It could have been.

[E]

No, because as you may also remember, she tripped at one point over the living room rug and mentioned why.

[D]

Sure, sure. She said she was wearing high heels. Oh. Because out in the country there are no pavements, so girls don't go for walk in high heel shoes. Therefore, she hadn't gone for a walk. Therefore, she was lying. Therefore, she killed Miller. And I should have noticed those heels myself.

[E]

You should have, R.J. your trouble, I suspect, was that you didn't notice the.

[F]

Feet for the legs.

[C]

You have been listening to the New Adventures of Nero Wolf, starring Sydney Green Street. Tonight's transcribed story was based on the characters created by Rex Stout. This is an Edwin Fadiman program, produced and directed by J. Donald Wilson. In the cast were Gerald Moore as Archie Goodwin and Gigi Pearson, Howard McNear, Tim Graham and Eddie Fields. Next week at this same time, Nero Wolf and Archie will bring you the case of the vanishing shells. Don Stanley speaking. Three chimes mean good times on NBC.