Nero Wolfe: The Case of the Care Worn Cuff 10/27/1950

Summary

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Choice Classic Radio Detectives | Old Time Radio

Nero Wolfe: "The Case of the Care Worn Cuff" (October 27, 1950)

Date Summarized: November 11, 2025
Host: Choice Classic Radio
Episode Theme:
A classic whodunit featuring Nero Wolfe, the brilliant and eccentric detective, pulled into a layered case of blackmail, deception, and murder—set off by a mysterious client, a worn suit cuff, and a hefty fee to drop a non-existent case.

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Main Theme & Purpose

This episode centers on Nero Wolfe and his wisecracking assistant Archie Goodwin as they unravel a complex web involving blackmail and a murder shrouded by false identities. The story kicks off when a man offers Wolfe $1,000 to drop a case for a client Wolfe doesn’t have. Wolfe’s sharp deductions, Archie's fieldwork, and a series of ruses and twists showcase the dynamic between the detective team and their trademark style.

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Key Discussion Points & Story Breakdown

1. Wolfe’s Reluctance & The Case Begins (01:12–05:22)

• Wolfe, characteristically lazy and short on cash, is goaded by Archie regarding their empty wallet and beer supply.
• A mysterious man, Charles Porter, offers Wolfe $1,000 to "drop" client Dorothy Spencer.
• Wolfe is immediately suspicious, noting inconsistencies in Porter’s story:
  • Notable quote:
    Wolfe: “His right coat cuff is more worn than his left cuff. And decaba happens to be a musical term. Meaning start again from the beginning.” (08:20)
  • Archie discovers through a hotel call that Porter is, in fact, a pianist at the Windsor.

2. The Puzzle of Identity (09:18–11:38)

• Wolfe deduces that the man who visited isn’t the real Charles Porter, but an imposter.

  • Notable quote:
    Wolfe: “I am never wrong. Therefore, the man who was here is not Charles Porter.” (10:34)

• A call reveals Porter has been found murdered. Wolfe believes the imposter tried to frame Dorothy Spencer for Porter's murder.

3. Enter Dorothy Spencer & Police Involvement (11:38–14:20)

• Police and Archie converge at Porter's ransacked apartment.
• They meet Dorothy Spencer, Porter's fiancée, freshly implicated by the setup.
• Wolfe has Archie provide Spencer with his address for further questioning.
  • Humorous Quote:
    Archie: “Believe it or not, you used to be a client of ours.” (13:31)

4. Wolfe’s Interview with Dorothy Spencer (15:02–16:47)

• Wolfe critically questions Spencer about her engagement, financial inconsistencies, and Porter's apparent blackmail.
• Spencer admits to being blackmailed over youthful indiscretions.
  • Notable exchange:
    Wolfe: “Love may perhaps be blind, but it is not astigmatic.” (15:53)
    Spencer: “I don’t know what you mean.”
    Wolfe: “What were you searching for under the nose of the police?” (16:05)

5. Pressure from the Police and an Intruder (16:53–19:55)

• Inspector Kramer arrives to seek Dorothy, but Wolfe refuses to cooperate without a search warrant.
• Wolfe instructs Archie to hide Dorothy safely under an alias.
• The imposter (now identified as Wheeler) sneaks into Wolfe’s house, demanding Dorothy's whereabouts at gunpoint. Wolfe deduces Wheeler is also a blackmail victim.

6. Tracking the Scent—Literally (21:02–22:34)

• Wolfe notes the intruder’s clothes reek of a particular perfume/soap (Orchid Ovals) and is convinced the culprit works at a soap factory.
  • Notable quote:
    Wolfe: “Every employee of a plant in which perfume in large quantities is used inevitably carries the odor on his clothes.” (22:16)

7. Fieldwork: Archie Tracks Down Wheeler (22:54–24:06)

• Archie visits the soap manufacturer; learns the office manager Wheeler matches the description and has vanished after a mysterious call.
• Archie checks Wheeler’s home, noting Wheeler’s wife is present and worried.

8. The Climax: Wheeler Cornered (24:41–25:46)

• At Dorothy's hotel, Archie is threatened by Wheeler, who admits to killing Porter and burning blackmail materials.
• Sergeant Stebbins arrives just in time, killing Wheeler and saving Archie and Dorothy.
  • Notable moment: Archie expresses gratitude to Stebbins for saving his life. (25:23)

9. Resolution and Wolfe's Explanation (26:16–28:29)

• Wolfe recaps the case: the imposter orchestrated events to frame Dorothy, knowing Wolfe would be drawn into the false narrative.
  • Notable quote:
    Wolfe: “A man came to me. He offered me $1,000 to drop a client I didn’t have. Why? Because obviously he wished to direct my attention to that triumph.” (26:36)
• The intent: Pin murder suspicion on Dorothy for a crime Wheeler committed.
• Archie's comic relief ("Most foul and bloody murder is very fancy, Dorothy. Shows he likes you." 27:30)
• The case closes with Archie and Dorothy making dinner plans, Wolfe returning to his more important affairs.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Wolfe’s Dry Wit & Deduction
  • “Confounded, Archie. What do you think I am, an athlete?” (02:46)
  • “As you very well know, I abominate strenuous physical activity.” (03:33)
• Archie’s Humor
  • “You could walk very slow… 23 steps times 2, it’s 46.” (03:36)
• Dorothy’s Dilemma
  • “He was going to force Dorothy to marry him. Did you find his material?” (25:01)
• Wolfe’s Grand Explanations
  • “He himself intended to murder Porter, as he did, for which peccadillo he has...already paid with his own life.” (27:43)
• Comic Romantic Ending
  • Dorothy: “What are you doing tonight?”
    Archie: “Nothing.”
    Dorothy: “Let’s do it together.”
    Wolfe: “Bah. Would you very much mind conducting your romance elsewhere?” (28:16–28:29)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Introduction / Wolfe’s Quips: 01:12–04:36
• Porter’s Visit & $1,000 Offer: 05:02–08:13
• Wolfe’s Deduction / Phone Call: 09:18–10:39
• Revelation of Porter’s Death: 11:00–11:38
• Police Involvement: 11:38–14:20
• Dorothy Spencer Interview: 15:02–16:47
• Police Search / Wheeler Intrudes: 16:53–19:55
• Wolfe’s Olfactory Deduction: 21:02–22:16
• Archie’s Factory Visit: 22:54–23:34
• Climax / Wheeler’s Confession: 24:41–25:46
• Wolfe’s Recap and Resolution: 26:36–28:29

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Tone & Style

The episode is marked by classic banter—Wolfe’s massive disdain for physical effort matched by Archie’s relentless quips. The suspense is laced with humor, and even moments of menace (Wheeler’s threats) are balanced by the sharp, witty dialogue true to Golden Age radio detective shows.

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Summary for New Listeners

Listeners unfamiliar with Nero Wolfe will enjoy the interplay between Wolfe’s razor logic and Archie’s comic narration. The episode begins with a simple bribe and spirals into deceptions involving fake identities, blackmail, and murder—all cleverly unraveled by a careful eye for detail (and olfactory evidence) and Wolfe’s refusal to accept the obvious.

In classic Wolfe fashion, the murderer is outmaneuvered by logic, Dorothy is saved, and Archie gets the girl (for dinner at least).

Transcript

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[Archie Goodwin]

Welcome to Choice Classic Radio where we bring to you the greatest old time radio shows like us on Facebook. Subscribe to us on YouTube and thank.

[Narrator]

You for [e-mail] Stay tuned for Nero Wolf. Saturday night Chimes on NBC mean a full hour of fun with Dennis Day and Judy Canova. Dennis always appears perplexed and bewildered, but one thing that doesn't perplex him is how to make a popular ballad come to life in his thrilling tenor voice. And there's music also on the Judy Canova show. Plus comedy in the mischievous Canova manner. That's Judy Canova and Dennis Day tomorrow night over most NBC stations.

[Archie Goodwin]

My boss is the smartest and the stubbornest, the fattest and the laziest, the cleverest and the craziest, the most extravagant detective in the world, Nero Wolf.

[Narrator]

It's the transcribed adventure of the case of the Careworn Cuff with that brilliant eccentric private detective, orchid fancier and gargantuan gourmet, Nero Wolf. Starring Sydney Greenstreet. The place is Nero Wolf's office. At the moment, the world's greatest motionless detective is sitting in the chair which was built especially to support his £300. His eyes are closed and he's making.

[Archie Goodwin]

Sounds through his nose.

[Nero Wolfe]

Archie. Archie. Archie.

[Archie Goodwin]

Ask Mr. Wolf. What is it?

[Nero Wolfe]

The phone, if you please, Mr. Goodwin.

[Archie Goodwin]

But it's on your desk. Only eight and three quarter inches from your left elbow. All you have to do is lean forward.

[Nero Wolfe]

Confounded, Archie. What do you think I am, an athlete?

[Dorothy Spencer]

Hello?

[Archie Goodwin]

No. Wrong number, Mr. I'm sorry, Mr. Wolf, if that old phone awakened you.

[Nero Wolfe]

Wrong number. And I was not asleep. I was merely concentrating.

[Archie Goodwin]

On what? We're out of work. There's nothing to concentrate on.

[Nero Wolfe]

May have escaped your errant attention, Archie, but there are other subjects for thought besides murder.

[Archie Goodwin]

Sure. Blondes and blondes. You're right at that. Brunettes. That's not a nice thing to say about any girl. Even if she does happen to be a brunette.

[Nero Wolfe]

Auntie.

[Archie Goodwin]

Yes, sir.

[Nero Wolfe]

Go away, you annoy me.

[Archie Goodwin]

Suppose I did. Who'd get your beer for you?

[Nero Wolfe]

Fritz.

[Archie Goodwin]

Tonight happens to be Fritz's night off. However, you can always get your beer for yourself.

[Nero Wolfe]

Don't be an idiot.

[Archie Goodwin]

There are exactly 23 steps between here and the kitchen.

[Nero Wolfe]

As you very well know, I abominate strenuous physical activity.

[Archie Goodwin]

23 steps times 2. It's 46. You could walk very slow.

[Nero Wolfe]

Nonsense. Now that you mention it, I happen to be mildly thirsty. Archie, would you.

[Archie Goodwin]

Now that I mention it, you'd better let the beer go for tonight.

[Nero Wolfe]

Why?

[Archie Goodwin]

Our stock is running low.

[Nero Wolfe]

You mean cares.

[Archie Goodwin]

I've been careful. Because something else is also running low.

[Nero Wolfe]

What?

[Archie Goodwin]

Money.

[Nero Wolfe]

Federal sticks. There's plenty in the bank.

[Archie Goodwin]

Sure, but very little of it is yours. Mr. Wolf, do you remember that batch of orchids you bought last week?

[Nero Wolfe]

Cause I do. Magnificent and very rare specimens.

[Archie Goodwin]

I got a magnificent bill for him this morning too.

[Nero Wolfe]

It was large.

[Archie Goodwin]

It was large.

[Nero Wolfe]

Confounded IJ I should have to do some work.

[Archie Goodwin]

You turned down half a dozen cases in the last few weeks.

[Nero Wolfe]

One of them may still require me.

[Archie Goodwin]

Most of them hired other detectives. However, there is a Mr. Wenceslas who might still be in need.

[Nero Wolfe]

His problem is What?

[Archie Goodwin]

As I remember, he's being followed by midgets. He wanted you to do something about it. Not that he minded the midgets so much. It was the elephants they were riding.

[Nero Wolfe]

The man needs a psychiatrist, not a detective. Anyone else?

[Archie Goodwin]

I can check my files, but I don't think.

[Nero Wolfe]

Aha.

[Archie Goodwin]

Saved by the bell.

[Nero Wolfe]

Another cliche like that and I shall.

[Archie Goodwin]

Answer the phone yourself.

[Nero Wolfe]

Assassinate. You. See what it is.

[Archie Goodwin]

Okay. Hello? As Mr. Wolf is in. Yes, he'll be in. He always is. What?

[Nero Wolfe]

But.

[Archie Goodwin]

That was a Mr. Charles Porter. He was in a hurry. He's on his way over right now. Should be here in 10 minutes.

[Nero Wolfe]

Prospective client, I trust.

[Archie Goodwin]

A thousand dollars worth of prospective client.

[Nero Wolfe]

Plenty. Dodgy. My beer.

[Archie Goodwin]

Okay, but look, I'm not sure you're gonna accept his offer.

[Nero Wolfe]

Indeed. What does he want me to do for his paltry fee?

[Archie Goodwin]

That's the point. If I heard him right, he wants.

[Nero Wolfe]

You to do Archie.

[Archie Goodwin]

Yes, sir. I hear it. Mr. Porter.

[Nero Wolfe]

Naturally, I'm Charles Porter. Who else would I be?

[Archie Goodwin]

It's a large field. Never mind. Come on in. I'm Archie Goodwin. Where is Wolf? Mr. Wolf is in here. Mr. Wolf, this is Mr. Pauling.

[Nero Wolfe]

Good evening.

[Archie Goodwin]

Fat, aren't you?

[Nero Wolfe]

It's moderately noticeable.

[Archie Goodwin]

Out.

[Nero Wolfe]

Your chair for Mr. Potter.

[Narrator]

Don't bother.

[Nero Wolfe]

I'm too impatient to sit when I have business to take Care of. I take care of it quickly. Very well.

[Archie Goodwin]

Send him out of the room, Mr. Goodwin.

[Nero Wolfe]

Nonsense, he's my assistant. He remains. I don't like it. Archie, show Mr. Porter out. Now wait. There's no need to get temperamental. Perhaps I'm a little abrupt, rude. I'm a worried man and impatient. You're wasting time, Mr. Porter. I suppose I am. The reason I came to you. Young man. What are you doing with that notebook?

[Archie Goodwin]

Getting ready to make marks in it. But no, never mind.

[Nero Wolfe]

Mr. Wolf, you have a client named Dorothy Spencer. Have I? There's no need to be coy about it. I happen to know. Then you know I want you to drop her.

[Archie Goodwin]

Drop her?

[Nero Wolfe]

Refuse to handle her case, close the books on her. You know what I mean. Why should I? The girl has no money. I have. It doesn't answer my question. Perhaps this will appear to be a small package of dollar bills.

[Archie Goodwin]

It happens to be a thousand dollars.

[Nero Wolfe]

Archie, will you? I will.

[Archie Goodwin]

It is $1,000.

[Nero Wolfe]

Thank you. Mr. Porter. Yes? You're paying me a thousand dollars in order that I refuse to act for Ms. Spencer, nothing more? That's right. What does she suspect you of? I said nothing about.

[Archie Goodwin]

Well, that is, you must know that.

[Nero Wolfe]

As well as I do. Possibly. Nevertheless, what does she suspect you of? Being a blackmailer. Whereas your occupation really is.

[Archie Goodwin]

I'm a musician.

[Nero Wolfe]

Pianist. I'm appearing nightly at the Windsor Hotel. Archie, have you made out a receipt for Mr. Porter?

[Archie Goodwin]

Yep.

[Nero Wolfe]

Give it to him and show him to the door.

[Archie Goodwin]

Okay, Mr. Porter. Mr. Wolf, I want your assurance that.

[Nero Wolfe]

The entire affair is definitely finished. My association with Ms. Spencer, you mean. You have my assurance that it is you forgive a classical illusion, Ricardo. Thank you.

[Archie Goodwin]

Good night. Mr. Wolf. I have a secret about Mr. Porter.

[Nero Wolfe]

He smells some perfume or other. More important, his right coat cuff is more worn than his left cuff. And decaba happens to be a musical term. Meaning Start again from the beginning.

[Archie Goodwin]

Oh, Porter thought it meant finished.

[Nero Wolfe]

Therefore, Mr. Porter is a liar. His ignorance of common musical term indicates that he's not a musician. The worn right coat cuff that he is an office worker.

[Archie Goodwin]

That's kind of leaping to a deduction. But even if porter's a liar, Mr. Wolfe, there is something else. He. He paid you $1,000 to drop a client named Dorothy Spencer. Mr. Wolf, you never had a client with that name. Well, that's that. Dorothy Spencer is not in anyway. She's not answering a phone. Mr. Wolf, I said.

[Nero Wolfe]

I know what you said.

[Archie Goodwin]

That a comment.

[Nero Wolfe]

I'm worried Mr. Porter may have assumed Erroneously. That Dorothy Spencer had employed or was intending to employ me. That does not explain why he lied about his occupation.

[Archie Goodwin]

Maybe he didn't lie after all. Your deductions could be wrong.

[Nero Wolfe]

Phew.

[Archie Goodwin]

Okay, take care of that right now. Phoning a. Hello, Windsor hotel. Get me the manager's office. Thanks. Ah, could you tell me if a Charles Porter plays the piano? It's, uh. Huh. She sounds blonde. I see. Thanks a lot. What do you do after work? Oh, so long. She goes home and beats her husband.

[Nero Wolfe]

That poor Archie.

[Archie Goodwin]

Bad news. He does play the piano at the Windsor in the move room. So where does that leave your deductions?

[Nero Wolfe]

Untouched, of course. Let me think. Yes, naturally.

[Archie Goodwin]

Naturally what?

[Nero Wolfe]

I came to the conclusion that Mr. Porter was an office worker. We have just discovered that Mr. Porter is not an office worker.

[Archie Goodwin]

Therefore you were wrong.

[Nero Wolfe]

I am never wrong. Therefore the man who was here is not Charles Porter.

[Archie Goodwin]

Mr. Wolfe, do you think a man of your weight should climb out on a limb like that?

[Nero Wolfe]

Fiddlesticks. Look up Porter in the phone book and call him.

[Archie Goodwin]

Okay, take a second. Archie. The phone company's best friend? Yep, here he is. What do I ask him?

[Nero Wolfe]

There'll be no need to ask Mr. Porter anything. Just phone.

[Archie Goodwin]

You're the boss. Have to say something to the guy. Hello? I'd like to speak to Charles Porter. So would you. Who is. Oh, Stebbins, huh? Yeah, that's right, Archie. Oh, no, no, don't, don't, don't bother. Why? I called it a coincidence.

[Dorothy Spencer]

Goodbye.

[Archie Goodwin]

You know who that was? No. That was sergeant Stebbins. Sergeant Pearly Stebbins, I might add. As though you didn't know that Stebbins happens to be a sergeant in homicide.

[Nero Wolfe]

Indeed.

[Archie Goodwin]

You expected this?

[Nero Wolfe]

I still don't know what your conversation was about.

[Archie Goodwin]

It was about Charles Porter, who maybe was a liar but who isn't gonna tell any more lies on account of he was just shot to death. Well, well, well, if it ain't Archie Goodwin. Come in, Goodwin. Thank you, sergeant Stebbins. I've been expecting you. Oh, that's sweet of you to say that, Pearly. Why did you phone Porter? His right coat cuff was more worn out than his left.

[Narrator]

So for that you had to kill him?

[Archie Goodwin]

No, actually I killed him because he didn't know his da capo. Hey.

[Nero Wolfe]

Yeah, hey.

[Archie Goodwin]

He don't look good anymore. Guys who stop bullets with their face never look good. Burley, you've been robbed. I did. That corpse is not Porter. Now relax, Goodwin, relax. His fingerprints were on file and they check his girlfriend says he's porter. If he could get up and talk, he'd tell you he was porter. And what makes you think he isn't? Well, because when he visited us earlier tonight, he looked different.

[Nero Wolfe]

Not much.

[Archie Goodwin]

But you said girlfriend. Yes, I said girlfriend. She's in the next room mopping up. She kind of broke down when we brought her here. You brought her here? Now, don't tell me what her name is.

[Narrator]

Why shouldn't I?

[Archie Goodwin]

It's Spencer.

[Nero Wolfe]

Dorothy Spencer.

[Archie Goodwin]

Ooh, that's what I was afraid of.

[Dorothy Spencer]

Sergeant, I. Oh, ignore him.

[Nero Wolfe]

He comes with the woodwork.

[Archie Goodwin]

His name is Goodwin, Ms. Spencer. Archie Goodwin. Find what you were looking for?

[Dorothy Spencer]

What I was looking.

[Archie Goodwin]

Somebody's gone through this place like a minor league hurricane. You?

[Dorothy Spencer]

What business is it of mine?

[Archie Goodwin]

None. Maybe. On the other hand, Nero Wolf might have other ideas. Matter of fact, I'm sure he'd have. Ms. Spencer. Why don't you go see him? The address is 601 W. 35th St.

[Dorothy Spencer]

I don't see why.

[Archie Goodwin]

Watch your boyfriend's murderer found, don't you? Now, listen, Goodwin, the police are working on this.

[Nero Wolfe]

Sure.

[Archie Goodwin]

They'll see to it nobody harms a corpse. Goodbye, Ms. Spencer. Don't forget that address. 601 West 35th Street. Believe it or not, you used to be a client of ours. Oh, Mr. Wolf, you're getting to be so brilliant, it's boring.

[Nero Wolfe]

Phooey.

[Archie Goodwin]

That is all right. Tonight you deserve it. I'll get you another can of beer. What? This is the last one. Once you promised it. Do some exercise. Like. Like maybe standing up and sitting down five minutes a day.

[Nero Wolfe]

Thank you. And why should I indulge in such idiotic behavior?

[Archie Goodwin]

Well, after a while, you might be able to see your shoes.

[Nero Wolfe]

I've already seen them.

[Archie Goodwin]

Oh, that was 20 years ago. Things had changed. No more buttons. Hey, that must be Dorothy Spencer.

[Nero Wolfe]

She's undoubtedly young and beautiful.

[Archie Goodwin]

You deduced that from the way she pressed the buzzer.

[Nero Wolfe]

I deduced that from the gleam in your eye.

[Archie Goodwin]

Bah, bah all you want. I'm gonna keep that gleam Shining. Hello, Ms. Spencer.

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[Nero Wolfe]

I'm in.

[Archie Goodwin]

Thank you.

[Dorothy Spencer]

Mr. Wolf.

[Archie Goodwin]

Is the large sitting down gentleman behind the desk. This is Dorothy Spencer, Mr. Wolfe.

[Nero Wolfe]

You will forgive me not rising. It is due to a necessary conservation of energy rather than rudeness. Archie, chair.

[Archie Goodwin]

Sure. Here you are, Ms. Spencer. Thanks.

[Nero Wolfe]

Now then, Ms. Spencer, have the police found anything but Dustin Departer's closet?

[Dorothy Spencer]

Why, no.

[Nero Wolfe]

You were engaged to Mr. Porter?

[Dorothy Spencer]

I was.

[Nero Wolfe]

That ring you're wearing, he gave it you?

[Dorothy Spencer]

Yes.

[Nero Wolfe]

May I see it?

[Dorothy Spencer]

Well, all right. Here.

[Nero Wolfe]

Thank you. Expensive, very expensive. You may have it back. Ms. Spencer, why are you marrying Charles Porter?

[Dorothy Spencer]

I loved him.

[Nero Wolfe]

Mr. Porter, according to Archie's description, was twice your age with considerably less than half your attractiveness. Love may perhaps be blind, but it is not astigmatic.

[Dorothy Spencer]

I don't know what you mean.

[Nero Wolfe]

What were you searching for under the nose of the priest?

[Dorothy Spencer]

Nothing, nothing at all.

[Nero Wolfe]

How did your fiance earn his money?

[Dorothy Spencer]

He played the piano.

[Nero Wolfe]

What he earned there in a year wouldn't begin to pay for the ring he gave you. Would you like to try again?

[Dorothy Spencer]

I don't know how he made his money.

[Nero Wolfe]

I suggest that you do. I suggest that he earn money by the same method that he induced you to consider marrying him. Blackmail? Why was he blackmailing you?

[Dorothy Spencer]

Old letters I'd written when I was too young to know any better.

[Nero Wolfe]

Your motives for murdering Porter would be twofold then. Recovery of blackmail material and the avoidance of marriage to a man you dislike.

[Dorothy Spencer]

I didn't kill Charles.

[Nero Wolfe]

The doorbell. Archie, get Ms. Spencer into the kitchen once. Must be the police.

[Archie Goodwin]

Yeah. Let's go, Ms. Spencer, right through that.

[Nero Wolfe]

Door and stay there until I call you friend or Archie.

[Archie Goodwin]

Mr. Wolf. Do I know Dorothy Spencer's here?

[Nero Wolfe]

You know nothing. A simple role for you to play.

[Archie Goodwin]

I haven't got time to resent that insult right now. But wait until the next time you drop a collar button. Well, bless my soul, if it isn't dear old Inspector Kramer. How is the Homicide department? Where's Wolf? Big surprise. He's sitting. Mr. Wolf.

[Nero Wolfe]

Good evening, Inspector.

[Archie Goodwin]

Where's Dorothy Spencer?

[Nero Wolfe]

This is not the Bureau of Missing Persons.

[Archie Goodwin]

The District Attorney would like to talk to her.

[Nero Wolfe]

I shall tell her so the next time we meet.

[Archie Goodwin]

That could be right now she's in.

[Nero Wolfe]

This house, I don't see her.

[Archie Goodwin]

Mind if I look around for myself?

[Nero Wolfe]

You have a search warrant, of course.

[Archie Goodwin]

So happens no.

[Nero Wolfe]

But, Archie, the inspector's leaving. Okay, I'm leaving.

[Archie Goodwin]

I suppose by the time I get back with a warrant, she'll be In Hoboken.

[Nero Wolfe]

Hoboken? Where's that?

[Archie Goodwin]

Look, Wolf, you can go too far. One of these days you won't be.

[Narrator]

Able to talk yourself out of her.

[Archie Goodwin]

I, ah, trail me to the door, Goodwin, to show what a good detective you are. Oh, Inspector Kramer doesn't love us anymore.

[Nero Wolfe]

Unfortunate. Archie, take Ms. Spencer to a respectable hotel. Register her under an assumed name. She is to stay there until notified otherwise. Luckily the good inspector neglected to inform us that she was the leading suspect in a murder case. Hence we are not accessories after the fact. And I don't want her arrested for murder as yet.

[Archie Goodwin]

Her beauty has won you over.

[Nero Wolfe]

You will then return here immediately.

[Archie Goodwin]

Okay. What are you going to be doing in the meanwhile?

[Nero Wolfe]

I. She shall be thinking. Archie.

[Archie Goodwin]

No, no, not Archie.

[Nero Wolfe]

Ah, our impatient and non musical friend came in through the window. How are you, Mr. Not Porter, of course.

[Archie Goodwin]

Where's the girl?

[Nero Wolfe]

Question is beginning to bore me. I don't know.

[Archie Goodwin]

I think she's here.

[Nero Wolfe]

So did the police, I might add that they were slightly closer to the truth. Incidentally, what makes you think she was Porter's accomplice? She must have been. Nonsense, she wasn't. Porter was blackmailing her just as he was blackmailing you. In her case it was letters in yours. A previous criminal record perhaps that your employers might be interested in.

[Archie Goodwin]

I want to know where she is.

[Nero Wolfe]

Maybe this would help you remember. Good heavens, don't point a pistol at me, it annoys me. Ah, the police, I should think. Open the door for them like a good fellow. Oh no, I'm leaving. But if I don't find that girl, I'll be back. Knock the plastic thing down if it isn't open. All right.

[Archie Goodwin]

What? I've got the search warrant also.

[Nero Wolfe]

No doubt a fine tooth comb by the way. Inspector.

[Archie Goodwin]

All right, boys, cover the house.

[Nero Wolfe]

All right, Inspector.

[Archie Goodwin]

Well, what did you want?

[Nero Wolfe]

As your men go through the house, will you have one of them shut the back window? I've just had a burglar and I suspect he left it open. Unless the matter is attended to, the house might be filled with fresh air.

[Archie Goodwin]

What's the matter with that fresh air?

[Nero Wolfe]

Deadly poison. It clogs the lungs. And may I point out that they warrant your clutching in your hot little hand is not a lease on the house. Finish your search quickly, if you please. And then why not try Hobo?

[Archie Goodwin]

So I just missed the Inspector. You did. That I can stand. I'm sorry about the burglar though.

[Nero Wolfe]

Perhaps we can arrange to have you meet him in the morning.

[Archie Goodwin]

He left his Calling card with name and address on it.

[Nero Wolfe]

He dropped his handkerchief here on my desk.

[Archie Goodwin]

Oh, it's a handkerchief.

[Nero Wolfe]

It smells.

[Archie Goodwin]

So it does.

[Nero Wolfe]

But all of our unknown friends clothes carry the odor. Therefore.

[Archie Goodwin]

Yeah.

[Nero Wolfe]

You will go out immediately to the nearest drugstore, buy a specimen of every cake of soap manufactured in this country.

[Archie Goodwin]

Mr. Wolf?

[Nero Wolfe]

He's there.

[Archie Goodwin]

No. I never realized just how many different brands of soap are made in this country.

[Nero Wolfe]

You should listen to the radio more often.

[Archie Goodwin]

So far we've sniffed at 37 cakes. None of them smell like porter. See? 38.

[Nero Wolfe]

Hey, let me have it. Ay, yes, these soap labeled orchid ovals. I should say basically mislabeled orchids have no odor. T for the evening is finished.

[Archie Goodwin]

Why? All we know is the guy washes with a basely mislabeled soap.

[Nero Wolfe]

No, the odor would not have been so persistent in that case. Unquestionably, our visitor works for a soap company that makes orchid ovals. Every employee of a plant in which perfume in large quantities is used inevitably carries the odor on his clothes.

[Archie Goodwin]

Oh, and you already deduced he works in an office? Uh huh. I go see him in the morning.

[Nero Wolfe]

You do?

[Archie Goodwin]

You know, Mr. Wolf, what with hiring rooms for girls and paying visits to a perfume factory, I'm beginning to feel like a maiden aunt.

[Nero Wolfe]

No one would ever mistake you for a maiden aunt, Archie.

[Archie Goodwin]

Thanks. Is that another deduction?

[Nero Wolfe]

Midnance. Really need a shade.

[Dorothy Spencer]

Park it.

[Archie Goodwin]

Elbows. Good morning.

[Dorothy Spencer]

One moment, please. Oh, can I do anything for you, sir?

[Nero Wolfe]

Yeah.

[Archie Goodwin]

That is, let's postpone that question and slip in another one. I'm looking for one of your office people. As in his 40s, 5 foot 10, brown hair and eyes. Speaks in a sharp quick voice.

[Dorothy Spencer]

He owes you money too.

[Archie Goodwin]

Who owes me money?

[Dorothy Spencer]

Mr. Wheeler, the man you were describing. He owes everybody money. In spite of the fact that he's office manager and makes lots and lots of money. How much does he owe you?

[Archie Goodwin]

Oh, not an awful lot. It won't break me if I don't get it. Is he in yet?

[Dorothy Spencer]

Well, he was, but he went home. He was sort of sick.

[Archie Goodwin]

Sort of?

[Dorothy Spencer]

He got a phone call from somebody and rushed out.

[Archie Goodwin]

Too bad. Well, I better scram.

[Dorothy Spencer]

Well, you didn't answer my question yet. I'm off at 5. My name's Gwen.

[Archie Goodwin]

Goodbye.

[Nero Wolfe]

Wolf speaking.

[Archie Goodwin]

Archie here. Unknown's name is Wheeler. He left the office this morning sick after he got a mysterious phone call.

[Nero Wolfe]

Bad? Probably. Get to Dorothy Spencer at once and bring her here.

[Archie Goodwin]

Right. I'm at Wheeler's house now. Thought I better check his Wife's here too.

[Nero Wolfe]

Blonde?

[Archie Goodwin]

Uh huh. How could you tell?

[Nero Wolfe]

Fetch. You smirk in your voice. Get out of there fast and don't stop to console Mrs. Wheeler.

[Archie Goodwin]

908. Ah, room 909. Ms. Dorothy Spencer. Hmm. Nobody home.

[Nero Wolfe]

Shut that door behind you.

[Archie Goodwin]

Goodwin. What? Never mind pulling triggers, I'll shut it.

[Dorothy Spencer]

Oh, Archie.

[Nero Wolfe]

I would prefer silence. Keep your hands high.

[Archie Goodwin]

Goodwin, it's unhealthy. All the blood had run into my head.

[Dorothy Spencer]

Archie, he murdered Charles.

[Archie Goodwin]

He did.

[Nero Wolfe]

Tut.

[Archie Goodwin]

Mr. Wheeler really shouldn't have. It's against the law. Get into the bathroom, both of you. I already shaved.

[Dorothy Spencer]

I phoned him. I thought maybe he had my letter.

[Nero Wolfe]

Porter couldn't keep his mouth shut about his other victims.

[Archie Goodwin]

He was gonna force Dorothy to marry him. Did you find his material?

[Nero Wolfe]

Wheeler?

[Archie Goodwin]

Yes, in an office.

[Nero Wolfe]

He read it as a front. It's all burned.

[Archie Goodwin]

And why all the melodrama?

[Nero Wolfe]

You know about me, so does she. I can't trust anyone.

[Archie Goodwin]

Get into the bathroom, I said. Look, let's not lose our heads about this.

[Nero Wolfe]

Get moving. Goodwin.

[Archie Goodwin]

I like it here.

[Nero Wolfe]

All right then, here is where you'll get it.

[Archie Goodwin]

Hey, wait, wait, wait a minute.

[Narrator]

Something's wrong.

[Archie Goodwin]

I got shot and Wheeler fell down. I shot him. Goodwin. Stubbins. Dear Sergeant Stebbins. Oh, you little flat footed angel. It's lucky for you my flat feet got staked out here in time. Just for that, I'll buy you a pair of arch supports for your next birthday. I'm beginning not to believe this. You had it all figured out? Well, not exactly. Well, that is, ah, Wolf sent you here?

[Narrator]

Well, he kind of phoned in and.

[Archie Goodwin]

Suggested one of us shoot down here and do some rescue work. That old devil. Hey, you're not kidding. Kidding? What are you laughing about? Wolf wasn't sure whether you'd need rescuing from Wheeler or. Stop killing yourself with your own jokes. Or whether Ms. Spencer would need rescuing from you.

[Nero Wolfe]

You being a very foolish young woman, Ms. Spencer, I suggest that in the future you exercise more care in your correspondence.

[Dorothy Spencer]

Oh, I shall, Mr. Wolf, but how can I ever thank you?

[Archie Goodwin]

Well, one. One way would be to listen wide eyed while he explains how he solved the case.

[Nero Wolfe]

I have no intention.

[Archie Goodwin]

Oh, come on, Mr. Wolf. Stop stalling.

[Dorothy Spencer]

Please, Mr. Wolf.

[Nero Wolfe]

Well, I'd be very happy to. As a matter of fact, I'd like to see anyone try to stop me. A man came to me. He offered me $1,000 to drop a kind I didn't have. Why? Because obviously he wished to direct my attention to that triumph.

[Dorothy Spencer]

Me.

[Nero Wolfe]

You, Ms. Spencer. Now. Then he identified himself as Charles Porter, a musician. But I tested him and discovered that he knew nothing of music.

[Narrator]

Ha.

[Archie Goodwin]

The da capo routine.

[Nero Wolfe]

Precisely. Therefore, he was an imposter. His purpose?

[Archie Goodwin]

Yeah.

[Nero Wolfe]

To indicate by no means subtly that enmity existed between Porter and Dorothy Spencer.

[Archie Goodwin]

Huh.

[Nero Wolfe]

Thus, when Porter was found murdered, I would presumably be convinced that Dorothy Spencer balked in her effort to enlist my aid against Porter, had resorted to most foul and bloody murder.

[Archie Goodwin]

Most foul and bloody murder is very fancy. Dorothy. Shows he likes you.

[Nero Wolfe]

I thereupon asked myself, why should an unknown seek to convince me that Dorothy Spencer was Porter's murderer?

[Archie Goodwin]

And you answered yourself one reason only.

[Nero Wolfe]

Because he himself intended to murder Porter, as he did, for which peccadillo he has, thanks to Sergeant Stebbins accuracy with a revolver already paid with his own life. Quaddidat demonstrandum.

[Archie Goodwin]

Latin for that's what you wanted to know.

[Dorothy Spencer]

I think you're wonderful, Mr. Wolf. And I'm going to.

[Nero Wolfe]

Ah. Be careful. Kiss you, Archie. Ms. Spencer is a very dangerous young woman today.

[Archie Goodwin]

I feel brave.

[Dorothy Spencer]

Do you, Archie?

[Archie Goodwin]

Very brave. What are you doing tonight?

[Dorothy Spencer]

Nothing.

[Archie Goodwin]

Let's do it together. Bah. Oh, is that Mr. Wolf?

[Nero Wolfe]

I said bah. Would you very much mind conducting your romance elsewhere? I would not, and do so at once. I have a very important matter to attend to.

[Dorothy Spencer]

Goodbye, Mr. Wolf.

[Nero Wolfe]

Goodbye.

[Archie Goodwin]

Night, sir.

[Nero Wolfe]

Very important.

[Narrator]

You have been listening to the new Adventures of Nero Wolf starring Sydney Greenstreet. Tonight's transcribed story was based on the characters created by Rex Stout, produced and directed by J. Donald Wilson. In the cast were Lamont Johnson as Archie Goodwin and Jane Webb, Peter Leeds, Bill Johnstone and Wilms Herbert. Next week at this same time, Nero Wolf and Archie will bring you the case of the dear dead lady. Don Stanley spe Three chimes mean good times on NBC. The NBC chimes are excited about the big show. An hour and a half every Sunday night with Tallulah Bankhead as femc. Comedy with stars like Jimmy Durante, Fred Allen, Jack Carson, Groucho Marx and a host of others. Music with Meredith Wilson, Mindy Carson and many more. It presents drama with Mr. Jose Ferrer and many more leading stars of Broadway and Hollywood. It's the big show starts Sunday, November 5th on NBC.

[Nero Wolfe]

This is Chester William Bendix Riley. The Man Called X follows on NBC.