
Loading summary
Pat Novak
Welcome to Choice Classic Radio, where we bring to you the greatest old time radio shows. Like us on Facebook. Subscribe to us on YouTube and thank you for donating@ChoiceClassicRadio.com. Sure. I'm pat novak for hire. That's what the sign out in front of my office says. Pat Novak for hire. Oh, there are a lot of ways to put it. But it's easier if you let your slip show right from the beginning. Because down on the waterfront in San Francisco, you got to do a lot of things to make a living. Otherwise, it's like being a CPA in a charity ward. I rent boats and do anything else that'll keep a bum lawyer in beer and broadcloth. Works out all right. You make a few bucks if you don't forget. There are only two questions you can ask anybody down here. When and how much. Even then, you gotta watch out. Unless you like your trouble without a chaser. I found that out Monday night. I closed shop and I walked down the street to Noonan's Bar. Well, it really isn't a bar. Just a couple of stools with a bottle opener and a jukebox full of Irish tenners. But it's good enough to give you a shove down the road. Must have been about 11. I was sitting at one end of the place by myself, sorting out mistakes and spending a half dollar on the bar. So I don't know when she came in, but she came in. I remember that.
Patsy
Does it always come up heads?
Pat Novak
If you're lucky. Who are you?
Patsy
If you're that lucky, you'd have dollar bills to do it with.
Pat Novak
Look, I'm low on chatter. Why don't you go down the counter and talk to the racy set, huh?
Patsy
I'd rather buy you a drink.
Pat Novak
Newland's a social clamor. He's gonna throw you out.
Patsy
You buy me one then and I'm.
Pat Novak
Broke to strangers now. That winds up the conversation. See you later.
Patsy
We'll talk thirsty then. I went to your office, but they said you were over here. I want to hire you, Mr. Novak.
Pat Novak
You got a name to go with a figure?
Patsy
It won't fit in your file. I want you for three hours work tomorrow afternoon. Can you do it?
Pat Novak
I said yes. It might be too tough.
Patsy
There's a flower stand at the corner of Post and Kearney. I want you to go to that stand tomorrow afternoon at 2 o', clock, pick up a geranium, plus this address.
Pat Novak
I'm too big for a Western Union.
Patsy
Boy, are you too big for $50?
Pat Novak
No. Must be a pretty geranium at those prices.
Patsy
Some people love nature, Mr. Novak. Do you care?
Pat Novak
No. I know a guy who likes parrots.
Patsy
You go to the stand and tell them you want the plant. Take it straight to the address I gave you. Important. Don't let it out of your hands.
Pat Novak
For 50 bucks, I'll act like we're married.
Patsy
I better give you the money now.
Pat Novak
Well, you're eager. Suppose I don't deliver?
Patsy
I found you tonight. I can do it again.
Pat Novak
Well, where do I get in touch with you?
Patsy
You don't, Mr. Novak. This is the last time over the course, so take a good look now.
Pat Novak
Yeah. I'm away past midnight already. Suppose something goes wrong tomorrow?
Patsy
Then it's very simple, Mr. Novak. You won't have to send for flowers. Good night.
Pat Novak
I watched her as she turned and walked out the door. She was wearing a flowered print dress, and as she walked, the rose kept getting mixed up with the daisies. She walked with a nice friendly movement like the trap door on a gallows. As she reached the door, she turned and smiled once as if she knew the 50 bucks was just for laughs. I scooped up the dough before anybody could see it because at noons everybody gets broke in one motion. I left a few minutes later and I went home to bed. I dream real good on 50 bucks. So I felt good the next afternoon when I got to the corner of Post and Kearney. The flower stand was there, all right and I leaned against the storefront to watch the guy for a while. Maybe I should have known then, because right away I got the idea he didn't know what he was doing. But you can say that for a lot of senators. So I let it ride. When the Jewish store clock across the street said 2 o', clock, I walked up to him.
Gerard
Can I do something for you?
Pat Novak
Yeah. Give me a geranium plant.
Gerard
What kind you want?
Pat Novak
Big one, a small one. I don't care. It's 2 o'. Clock. I'll take that kind of.
Gerard
You wanted uranium.
Pat Novak
Look, it's gonna get dark. You got that long to argue?
Gerard
Here's the one you want.
Pat Novak
Then you say so. You want to wrap it?
Inspector Hellman
No, it's all right.
Gerard
You carry it that way.
Pat Novak
Well, I'm gonna look real funny walking around with a handful of geranium.
Gerard
Why do you want one then?
Pat Novak
I see you don't feel like talking about it. No.
Gerard
Just take it and be happy.
Pat Novak
Yeah. How much?
Gerard
Nothing doesn't cause a thing.
Pat Novak
Suit yourself. You won't make much dough that way.
Gerard
I'll make even less talking to you. Just take the plant and be careful.
Pat Novak
Oh. How do you know what I'm gonna do with the geranium?
Gerard
I don't, mister. Some people eat them. Just be careful and goodbye.
Pat Novak
The way things were going, Poe street began to look like the main dragon. Casablanca. I watched the guy fumble around with a customer for a minute and then I crossed the street and started up toward Union Square. The cop gave me a kind of a funny look when he saw the geranium. He smiled as if he thought I had a pair of dancing sandals in my coat pocket. About halfway up the block, I stopped to look in an art store. Right then I noticed the guy with a cane for the first time. He was standing near me looking in the other window. He was a little guy and kind of wrinkled and bumpy. His skin looked like a cucumber full of powder. I started up the street and pulled in at a bookstore. He stopped too, and I knew he was following me. When I got to Stockton, I turned left and walked toward Geary Street. Halfway down is a little street called Maiden Lane. Oh, it sounds gentle, but so does Vesuvius when you say it fast. I just started across when a black Nash pulled away from the curb. Some dead relative must have put in a good word for me.
Patsy
Hey, over here.
Jocko Madigan
Hey.
Patsy
Pull him over. Hey, over here. You all right, mister?
Pat Novak
Yeah, yeah, I'll do. I guess you're lucky you're not dead. Yeah. We're all that way. Give me a hand, will you? Thanks. That car came out of there and.
Jocko Madigan
Hit you on purpose.
Inspector Hellman
You're lucky you're not dead.
Pat Novak
All right, I owe the house a free roll. This lady here took down the license number. You want it? Yeah. Thanks.
Patsy
You sure you're all right?
Pat Novak
Yeah, I'm a slow bleeder. I dropped a plant somewhere around here. That's it?
Jocko Madigan
This red thing?
Pat Novak
Yeah, that's it. Thanks.
Jocko Madigan
Didn't even hurt the plant.
Inspector Hellman
That's something.
Pat Novak
You know, when I saw that car.
Patsy
Come out of there and hit you.
Jocko Madigan
You know what I thought about you?
Pat Novak
That fella's lucky he's not dead.
Patsy
Yeah.
Pat Novak
Y. Well, I looked around, but the little guy with a cane had disappeared as I crossed Union Square. I kept looking around, but he was gone. I tried to forget about it, but I couldn't get it out of my mind. Kept coming back and showing up again like a bad reputation. Why had the guy started to follow me and then stop so suddenly? And how about that guy in the car and that $50 geranium well, I got a cab over at the St. Francis stand and I wrote out to the address that the girl gave me. On the way, I looked at the flower. From what I could see, it was just a geranium planted in a little wooden box like all the rest of them. It bloomed unevenly with buds that looked too nervous to come out. Like a debutante with thick ankles. Well, the cab pulled up at the address. It was a rooming house out on Clay Street. The note I had said third floor rear. So I went up there and knocked. There was no answer. So I went in, expecting to find anything. Anything but what I did find. Hello?
Patsy
Go away.
Jocko Madigan
Go away.
Patsy
Leave me alone.
Pat Novak
She closed her eyes and stopped talking. She was so sick it showed like a searchlight in a cave. Her complexion was pasty and the color of a November sky. She had no expression on her face, just thin lips drawn so tightly the rims were white. No, she wasn't ready to quit yet. But you could tell she'd been papering the house for years and you wouldn't want to bet on her. She was going to last about as long as a warm snowflake. It was easy to tell. You got a bad cough. You need some sun.
Patsy
I need more than that.
Pat Novak
Yeah, I guess you do.
Patsy
Who are you?
Pat Novak
Relax, I'm not the welcome angel. I just brought you some flowers.
Patsy
Is it a joke? Somebody I don't know.
Pat Novak
Lady, with me it's a fifty dollar hustle. They're your flower, so you work out the right answer.
Patsy
Go away. Go away, please.
Pat Novak
You want the flowers?
Patsy
You brought them for me, didn't you? Leave them and go away.
Pat Novak
It's just a geranium. I'm gonna leave it on the table.
Patsy
Why'd they send you?
Pat Novak
My reason was 50 bucks.
Patsy
Did you come to hurt me?
Pat Novak
I don't know. Do you rate it?
Patsy
Oh, I'm too tired. You couldn't really hurt me, could you? Thank you for coming. Thank you for your kindness.
Pat Novak
Sure, if that's what it is, you're welcome. That's all she said. And that's all that happened in that little room up on Clay Street. Wasn't much and it wasn't enough to worry you. But for some reason I felt like a man in quicksand complaining about his height. When I left there, I took a car down a market street and I had dinner. Well, it didn't go right because I kept thinking about this afternoon and last night. Who did she mean by they? And where did all these people fit together? The guy with A cane. The gal that gave me the 50 bucks in the little chair about a maiden lane. I tried to forget about it, but it wasn't easy. Was like trying to change a typewriter ribbon with mittens on. After dinner I went home. Was about 8 o' clock and when I got in the apartment it was dark. Before I had a chance to put on the light, I knew somebody was in the bedroom. I walked over to the door. In the dim light it looked like a walrus in pants. But it turned out to be Inspector Hellman from Homicide.
Inspector Hellman
Hello, Novak. I just dropped in for a chat.
Pat Novak
You always chat with your hand in the bureau drawer.
Inspector Hellman
Dress full. I've been looking over your stuff.
Pat Novak
Is this a social call or are you out stealing?
Inspector Hellman
Where you been, Novak?
Pat Novak
What do you care, Hellman?
Inspector Hellman
All right, I'll tell you where I've been. In a third floor room out in Clay Street.
Pat Novak
I left one this afternoon.
Inspector Hellman
It's the same one. Your fingerprints are all over the joint.
Pat Novak
I'll bet you checked everywhere.
Inspector Hellman
What were you doing out there?
Pat Novak
Delivering flowers?
Inspector Hellman
Is that your best try, Novak?
Pat Novak
It's the best I'm going to do for you. If you don't like it, check with a woman out there. I brought her flowers and left. What woman? The one on the couch. A black haired girl with a half dead look.
Inspector Hellman
You're wrong twice. There's no girl out there. Unless he's tattooed on the guy's chest. And that guy doesn't have a half dead look.
Pat Novak
It's better than that all the way.
Jocko Madigan
That's right.
Inspector Hellman
He's dead enough to pray for.
Jocko Madigan
Will that do?
Pat Novak
Hellman's sleeve so full of fat I didn't expect anything else up there. He flipped on the light and I could see he was real pleased with himself. He was smiling like a guy who's just found his partner bidding no Trump with 13 spades. He sat down on the bed and unbuttoned his coat. Part of his stomach oozed out and hung over his belt like a 1910 lampshade. He lit a cigarette and then he began to run his tongue over a set of teeth that looked more like old mandolin pics than teeth. He blew smoke and looked about as appetizing as a piece of squid pie.
Inspector Hellman
Must have been a short argument, Novak. The coroner says the guy checked out in a hurry.
Pat Novak
What else does the coroner say it was?
Inspector Hellman
Good poison. You buy only the best, Novak.
Pat Novak
Don't stub your toe, Hellman. I went up there to deliver a geranium plant.
Inspector Hellman
So far you Got a good case? The guy was poisoned with a spring needle hidden in that geranium box.
Pat Novak
Who was he?
Inspector Hellman
He didn't say. And there wasn't any identification. Do you want to help?
Pat Novak
I don't know, Hellman. When I was there, we were doing Camille. Some ghost woman was dying on the couch by inches. It was her room. You better check.
Inspector Hellman
We did. The room was rented 10 days ago by a man named George Langley. The landlady says there's never been a woman in the room.
Pat Novak
That's what all landladies say. Wake up, Hellman. I stood there and watched her shake like a dust mop for 10 minutes. You can follow up on her and then check that Flora stand at Kearney and Post.
Inspector Hellman
What do I check for?
Pat Novak
Bull weevils? He's the guy that gave me that geranium plant. We'll check.
Inspector Hellman
And I want you down at headquarters by midnight tonight. Novak. You can talk to yourself till then. After that, you talk to us.
Pat Novak
I'll make it up from here on. Hellman, you don't like it the other.
Inspector Hellman
Way, suit yourself, Novak. You know when you're due. In the meantime, we'll find out what we can.
Pat Novak
I can't wait that long, Hellman. You couldn't find a tractor on the back porch. I'd hang if I waited for your boys.
Inspector Hellman
That's what you're going to do. And at midnight you can dangle as high to one.
Pat Novak
I don't mind, as long as my feet are on the same level as your head. When Hellman left, I sat down to try to piece things together. I knew everything was there if I could just shove it into place. Was like trying to swap an egg beer for a Mixmaster. I was pretty sure there was something about that geranium plant. I should remember one little thing that threw everything else out of focus. I finally gave up. I was 50 bucks ahead and one murder wrapped behind. Depends on how you like your fun. 50 bucks is all right, but the pleasure's limited. Like giving somebody a hot foot in an ammunition dump. If I was gonna drag the town, I needed help. So I looked up the only honest guy I know. An ex doctor and a boozer by the name of Jocko Madigan. Oh, he's all right for a guy who thinks people with steady hands are lazy. I finally found him in a little tinsel joint on Mason Street. It was high class for the neighborhood. The smoke was only a week old. And they had a cigarette girl. A long, leggy biscuit that wandered around trying to sell a Sour smile at sweet prices. Jocko was down at the end of the bar rolling some olives back and forth. The rhythm was fine.
Jocko Madigan
Ah, Patsy, you're just in time to help me off the wagon. A stout glass for Mr. Novak.
Pat Novak
No. I want to talk to you, Jocko. Oh, Patsy.
Jocko Madigan
Confidentially, I hate martinis. I just drink them for the vitamins. Everybody should have a few vegetables. And I have chosen olives.
Pat Novak
Look, I'm in trouble, Jocko. Will you sober up and talk?
Jocko Madigan
I could do that easily. I've done it two or three times and it's no trick at all. But I refuse because it's a vulgar display of willpower.
Pat Novak
Will you stop, Jocko?
Jocko Madigan
You know, Patsy, there are only two things that could cause my downfall. Whiskey or women. I'm not particular. You find a nice old widow and I'll quit this stuff.
Pat Novak
All right, all right.
Jocko Madigan
Some plump old party with a memory as vivid as my own. Preferably somebody rich enough. Convince me the lines in her face weren't put there by worry.
Pat Novak
Stop it, will ya, Patsy?
Jocko Madigan
I'll allow you to motivate my descent, but I will not permit you to bring it to a halt.
Pat Novak
Plastic bags, Plastic lids.
Patsy
What do we do with you?
Pat Novak
You can't go in the recycling bin, but you can be recycled if taken to a new recycle on center. Find one near you@recycleon.org OregonCenters.
Jocko Madigan
I. I apologize for interrupting.
Pat Novak
Go. What do you know about flowers?
Jocko Madigan
Oh, I think they're pretty on a woman's shoulder, but I suppose that's mixed devotion.
Pat Novak
Why? Well, I'm gonna need your help, Jocko. There's a dead guy out on Clay street and Hellman's campaigning for me. How do the flowers fit in a geranium plant? The guy was poured with a needle in the box. I took the plant up there to a woman.
Jocko Madigan
Clumsy approach. Why a geranium plant?
Pat Novak
It's a mixed up story. I got hired in Noonan's Bar to pick it up this afternoon at Post and Kearney. I got gumshoed all the way up Post street and hit by a car at Maiden Lane.
Jocko Madigan
You look bent when you walked in.
Pat Novak
I took it out to this address and I gave it to a dying woman. Now she's disappeared and Hellman's after me for the dead guy on her floor. I need some help, Jocko. I gotta find a way out of this.
Jocko Madigan
Well, you passed up a golden opportunity when that car hit you.
Pat Novak
That's one of the places you come in. Now, here's the License. I want you to hop down and check the registration, will you? What is Find out who runs that flower stand at the corner of Post and Kearney. Now, if you get back in time, I can check tonight. Tag by my place. I'll either be there or I'll leave a message.
Jocko Madigan
Where are you going?
Pat Novak
To find a woman.
Jocko Madigan
That seems like the peculiar way to handle a crisis.
Pat Novak
Well, I gotta find the gal that started me out on this.
Jocko Madigan
Patsy, I wish you'd forget about women.
Pat Novak
And I wish you'd forget about whiskey.
Jocko Madigan
Ah, yes, we both have our problems. Except I enjoy one safeguard that you don't. At least I can look at the label and tell how old it is. Good night, lover.
Pat Novak
Well, I got out of there and I went by Noonan's place. I asked him if he knew the girl in there last night. He said, After 45, a man forgets about a woman's face. So I checked that lead off and started on the other girl. I hit all the cab stands out near Clay street and I finally found a hack that picked her up. It was about 4 o'. Clock. He said she had luggage and rode over to Janet street on Telegraph Hill. But he couldn't remember the address at the best rates in town. So I checked off that one, too. From here on, it was gonna be a rough ride. I didn't know where to dig. I might as well have been out looking for a stick with one end. I like to try. One more thing. I went by to search the Clay street joint. It was a dirty room and the geranium hadn't helped. There was a sweet odor and a thick, dusty cloud all over the place was like going to sleep in a bag of an old vacuum cleaner. There wasn't anything there that could help, and on my way out, I heard footsteps. I snapped off the light and waited. The door opened slowly. I couldn't see her face, but I knew it was the girl from Newness. Turn on the light and you'll see your friends.
Patsy
Well, Mr. Novak?
Pat Novak
Sit down. Let's talk in here.
Patsy
Why don't we drop our gymnasium and get some fresh air?
Pat Novak
We can start with your name.
Patsy
It's easy. Say your piece, Mr. Novak. I've run out of 50 bills.
Pat Novak
Yeah, that's the way it is with my patients. Who killed the guy?
Patsy
I don't know, Patsy. I can narrow it down to one county for you, but after that you'll have to do your own sorting.
Pat Novak
The police think I did it.
Patsy
Maybe you did. You look big enough to carry the load. I don't care, Patsy. I'm not going to weep. I've got about three tears left. And he isn't high enough on the list to rate one.
Pat Novak
Who was he and how'd you find out he was dead?
Patsy
There's generally a dirty rim in the washbowl. Same was Charles Dowd. Don't worry about him. There's a small time guy set the fast music.
Pat Novak
Well, I'm gonna worry about him because Homicide's worried about him.
Patsy
Then worry in a calm way, Patsy, you do it that way.
Pat Novak
I'll help. Sit down. Now, look, lady, you better help out or I'll lose your teeth for you.
Patsy
And everything, I guess.
Pat Novak
Who runs that flower stand?
Patsy
It wouldn't help when he gave you that geranium. There was nothing wrong.
Pat Novak
For 50 bucks, there had to be something wrong.
Patsy
It wasn't full of poison. I know it was in there and it wasn't poison. Somebody made a switch up here.
Pat Novak
What happened to the girl?
Patsy
I don't know. Relax, you're gonna use up all that nice energy.
Pat Novak
Look, sis, you can haul in those long legs and give me some answers.
Patsy
I'm gonna haul them in long enough to ask a few questions. My turn now, Patsy, Back over toward the door. You can talk on your way.
Pat Novak
You look good with a gun.
Patsy
You made a deal with George. I want to hear about it, though.
Pat Novak
I don't even know George. If he's got a part, you just dealt him in.
Patsy
I'm too old for fairy tales, Patsy. George got to you and found out about that geranium box. It couldn't have happened any other way.
Pat Novak
Sorry, lady.
Patsy
Remember, you're nothing to me. No back. You're 50 bucks worth of muscle. You're 50 bucks. Now spend you fast.
Pat Novak
Go easy. You're gonna break open a seam. I don't know your boy, George, and I can forget you, too.
Patsy
You can do it while you're talking. I came a long way, Patsy. Too far to toss it over for a mail order bum. You're just a passing pair of pants to me. And I'll throw you away faster than a wad of gum.
Pat Novak
Now's your chance, baby.
Patsy
Come on, let's go. You're hurting my shoulder.
Pat Novak
Relax. You're not gonna have one in a minute. Come on, drop it. Now reach down for that gun and I'll jam you in a basement faster than a ton of coal. All right, now let's hear you talk.
Patsy
I would, Patsy, but you're not listening.
Pat Novak
That's what happens when you don't watch the door. Somebody Falls in love with the back of your head. I didn't even have a chance to see who hit me. I don't know what good it would have done. Unless you're the kind of a guy who keeps a scrapbook on those things. When I woke up, I had company. He was taking a nap, too, Only his was going to last longer. It was the little guy with a cane. He tailed me right to the end. He was lying there with his mouth open and a bunch of pink gum showing. As if he was trying to pick up a few bucks with a toothpaste. Dad. I was still groggy and I couldn't see around the room. But I could hear a slow, steady, squeaking sound. I turned my head and Hellman was sitting in a rocking chair. He looked as happy as a choir boy on Christmas Eve.
Inspector Hellman
You have a good sleep, Milwaukee?
Pat Novak
Why don't they move the morgue down here?
Inspector Hellman
Yeah, I guess you ran out of poison.
Pat Novak
Why don't you go away, Hellman?
Inspector Hellman
Home maybe, huh?
Pat Novak
I don't owe your wife anything, so I'll wish that.
Inspector Hellman
Who's the guy?
Pat Novak
I don't know.
Inspector Hellman
You look chummy when I got here.
Pat Novak
I don't know. Hellman. He followed me all over Post street this afternoon. Check him yourself. I did.
Inspector Hellman
There's nothing on him.
Pat Novak
I'll bet his gold fillings are gone now.
Inspector Hellman
Your trial run was a guy named Charles Dowd.
Pat Novak
I know.
Inspector Hellman
He was arrested in 1942 on suspicion of espionage.
Pat Novak
He's in business again. A whole bunch of them are. And the kicker has something to do with that geranium plant.
Inspector Hellman
What bunch?
Pat Novak
These dead guys and a lot of others on the same schedule. It's that geranium plant. It all started at Post and Kearney. You better check that florist stand.
Inspector Hellman
Don't you ever get tired, Novak?
Pat Novak
Huh?
Inspector Hellman
We checked the florist stand at Post in Kearney. The answer is no.
Pat Novak
Did you talk to the guy?
Inspector Hellman
No, because there is no Flora stand at Post in Kearney.
Pat Novak
You're crazy, Hellman. I got a geranium plant there this afternoon.
Inspector Hellman
There's no florist stand at Post in Kearney. If you got a Gerard was grown out of a crack in the sidewalk.
Pat Novak
I left Hellman standing there over the dead man. The little guy was looking up at Hellman with a dull board. Looked like an usher in a burlesque house. I was sure now there was something about that uranium I'd missed. If I could find the string and pull it, the whole thing had unravel the questions Were piling up. And there was only one answer. Who got to that box and made a switch? Well, it was close to 11 when I got back to my apartment. Jocko was in the kitchen working on an experiment.
Jocko Madigan
Ah, Patsy, I'm drinking to your memory. I'm making up for cheap booze with extra sentiment.
Pat Novak
What'd you find out?
Jocko Madigan
You were mixed up. There is no Flower Standard Kearney and Post.
Pat Novak
Now, look, I've been through all at once. It was Post and Kearney. I couldn't have made a mistake.
Jocko Madigan
Anybody can come confuse a street. It can be done easily. I once confused two whole suburbs.
Pat Novak
Yeah, all right.
Jocko Madigan
I boycotted a bar in Alameda for months before I found out they gave me the Mickey in San Carlos.
Pat Novak
Now, look, I know what I did, Jocko. Maybe the flower stand moved. Maybe it was never there before. But today it was at Post and Kearney. How about that license number?
Jocko Madigan
The car is registered in the name of George Langley. Who's he?
Pat Novak
He rented the murdered room. And he's mixed up in a switch on that uranium plant.
Jocko Madigan
What kind of switch?
Pat Novak
I don't know. But whatever it was, George did it. When it left that stand, there was something else in it besides a poison needle. Everybody know it. The girl and the little guy with a cane. Probably the guy that drove that car.
Jocko Madigan
They switched plans.
Pat Novak
No, they changed.
Patsy
Yeah.
Pat Novak
Yeah, I guess it could have done that too, huh?
Jocko Madigan
Was the man with the cane behind you when you got hit by the car?
Pat Novak
Yeah. I think you're right. Jocko.
Jocko Madigan
He wasn't trying to kill you. In the confusion, the man with the cane switched plants on you.
Pat Novak
Jacko, you're an angel. I'm gonna do something for you someday.
Jocko Madigan
You already have. I charged this bottle of Whis to you.
Pat Novak
Yeah, Novak talking.
Inspector Hellman
I got news for you.
Pat Novak
Mine's good too. That poison needle plant was engineered by the little guy with a cane.
Inspector Hellman
We identified him. His fingerprints match an espionage agent called George Langley.
Pat Novak
Well, he was due any minute.
Inspector Hellman
There's nothing else on him except he lived in a place up in Janet Street.
Pat Novak
So what happened? That way. That's where the other geranium is. Hellman, you better get up there before they ring down the curtain. That other plant's gonna draw all the boys and girls. What does that prove? Nothing, except you haven't got any business bothering a flower unless you're a bee. Well, you never know how the cards are gonna fall. But when it's a wild game like Red Dog, whichever way they fall, it's gonna hurt. And the last card's the one that breaks your back. So when Hellman hung up, I grabbed a cab and rushed out to Janet Street. It's a little short street, draped down the side of Telegraph Hill like a torn ribbon. When Hellman pulled up at the top of the hill, I met him and we started down at George Langley's address. Hellman opened the front door, and as we started in the bedroom, we ran into a traffic jam.
Patsy
I'm sorry.
Pat Novak
Hello, Evie, this is Hellman from Homicide.
Patsy
I don't have time now, Pat.
Pat Novak
That's all you got, baby. Grab her bag there, Hellman.
Patsy
Patsy, you're crazy.
Pat Novak
Open her bag, Hellman. That's what they're all after. There's the geranium over by the window.
Inspector Hellman
Let's have the bag, lady.
Gerard
You're all too grabby. I'll take it. Come on, Edie.
Pat Novak
Who's this guy, Pixie Hellman. He's the guy that sold me the flower down at Post and Kearney.
Gerard
I'm sorry you got mixed up, Novak, but I'm short on regrets tonight.
Pat Novak
Give me the bag.
Inspector Hellman
Evie.
Patsy
Go easy. We're going to get in too deep.
Gerard
You're in up to your nostrils now, baby.
Inspector Hellman
The bag.
Gerard
I want that piece of paper.
Patsy
You don't need a gun, Gerard.
Gerard
That's up to you, E. You double.
Pat Novak
Cross me and I'm too old for.
Gerard
A new set of tricks.
Patsy
That's the way it had to be, Gerard. You can see that when George cut in, there was nothing else to do. It was high man in, low man out.
Inspector Hellman
You're out then.
Gerard
I want the bag.
Patsy
Stay away from me, Jerry.
Gerard
Give me time.
Inspector Hellman
I'll get far away.
Patsy
I'm going to hang on to it. Stay away, Jerry.
Inspector Hellman
I hear you, but that's all.
Jocko Madigan
Baby.
Patsy
Give me a hand.
Pat Novak
You're gonna need more than that, Angel.
Patsy
Help me to the couch.
Pat Novak
Sure. Come on. There you are.
Patsy
Thanks, Patsy. You didn't owe me that.
Pat Novak
I can't take it back now.
Patsy
How's Gerard?
Pat Novak
He bleeds big.
Patsy
If I wasn't so tired, laugh and laugh.
Pat Novak
No, I wouldn't do that, Angel. You're gonna be there in time to hear the echo. What's in the bag?
Patsy
A formula. What other thing, pet?
Pat Novak
Yeah, one other thing.
Inspector Hellman
What'd she say?
Pat Novak
I don't know, Hellman. She took it with her.
Inspector Hellman
Where does that leave us?
Pat Novak
Short one girl. She's in the apartment or on her way up.
Patsy
Don't look too hard, Mr. Novak.
Inspector Hellman
How many more are there?
Pat Novak
She's the big act. How do your friends look, sweetheart?
Patsy
They look her way they should. They watched me get sick. They didn't do anything about it. They sat around waiting for the last ounce of blood to dry up.
Pat Novak
You better go with Hellman.
Jocko Madigan
Please.
Patsy
Take me while you have a chance. They think that. No, no.
Pat Novak
Yeah, you're more than ready.
Patsy
I think they look wonderful. They let me work for years. They let me get this way. Then they sat around to listen to my heartbreak.
Pat Novak
Well, I don't know why, but Hellman was confused. He finally got the story off the girl in a hospital bed. All five of them had worked together once, gathering government information. But when the big order came, double cross set in like an epidemic. They were out after a formula. The dying girl had one half, and the other half was in that geranium plant. It came off the boat and went to that pony flower stand. Evie and Gerard were afraid to deliver it themselves, so they hired me to do it. The sick girl was in on another frame. She tipped off Langley, and he worked that hit and run with Dowd. Only he forgot to tell dad about the poison needle. When Dowd was dead, the girl checked out for Langley's place. Between them, they had the formula, but they got in the beef. So she killed him. She came back to plant a phony lead for Evie. And that's how I got sapped. Evie tumbled and headed for Langley's place. When she left, the girl planted Langley next to me in that room and then went back to watch Evie and Gerard in that overtime match. I guess she was too sick to care one way or the other. Well, Hellman asked only one question. How come five such bad people ever got together in one shuffle? I don't know, except most people are full of a lot of good and a lot of bad. The day we met him, all the bad was showing.
Patsy
Foreign.
Gerard
Forces Radio Service has just brought you Pat Novak for Hire, starring Jack Webb. Pat Novak is produced by William P. Russo. Jocko Madigan is played by Tudor Owen. Inspector Hellman is played by Raymond Burr. Music was composed and conducted by Basil Adlam. Be with us again next week when over most of these same stations, we'll bring you Pat Novak for Hire. This is the United States Armed Forces Radio Service, the voice of information and education.
Peloton Announcer
This episode is brought to you by Peloton. The new Cross Training series balances your workouts with 15 plus workout types for endless movements on and off your equipment. Stay motivated with weekly personalized plans that guide you from beginner to expert and push past your goals with routines tailored to you. Get the new Cross training series Term supply.
Podcast: Choice Classic Radio Detectives | Old Time Radio
Host: Choice Classic Radio
Episode: Pat Novak for Hire: Geranium Plant
Summary Date: January 24, 2026
The episode plunges listeners into a classic hard-boiled crime mystery set on the San Francisco waterfront. Private investigator Pat Novak finds himself entangled in a web of deception, murder, and espionage—all centered on a seemingly innocuous geranium plant. Through gritty dialogue and atmospheric storytelling, the episode unpacks layered betrayals among a group of former government agents desperate to get their hands on a high-stakes formula.
“For 50 bucks, I'll act like we're married.” (03:04)
“I felt like a man in quicksand complaining about his height.” (09:50)
Novak seeks help from Jocko Madigan, an alcoholic ex-doctor with a comedic, fatalistic take on life:
"Confidentially, I hate martinis. I just drink them for the vitamins." (14:39, Jocko)
Details shared: Novak was trailed, possibly had the plant switched during the hit-and-run, and must find the mysterious woman.
Novak awakens to find the man with the cane dead and Inspector Hellman investigating.
Key twist: There is no flower stand at Post and Kearney—the site of the original pick-up.
"There's no florist stand at Post in Kearney." (22:08, Hellman)
Information surfaces: The little man with the cane was George Langley, an espionage agent.
“They watched me get sick. They didn't do anything about it. They sat around waiting for the last ounce of blood to dry up.” (27:02, Evie)
"Most people are full of a lot of good and a lot of bad. The day we met him, all the bad was showing." (28:57, Novak)
"If you got a geranium, it was grown out of a crack in the sidewalk." (22:16, Hellman)
"The last card's the one that breaks your back." (27:42, Novak)
This episode of Pat Novak for Hire packs all the thrills of Golden Age noir: a cynical investigator, shadowy femmes fatales, poisonous secrets, and a plot twisting through back alleys and seedy rooms. What begins as a simple delivery quickly unravels into a tale of treachery among spies, anchored by sharp writing and memorable performances. Novak’s world is tough and unforgiving—where even a geranium can be deadly, and each player might be one step away from betrayal.
Listen for the snappy dialogue, the dark humor, and a tangle of motives that remain surprising until the final act.