Podcast Summary:

Choice Classic Radio Detectives | Old Time Radio
Episode: Richard Diamond, Private Detective: The Bogus Bills Case (10/15/1949)
Date Aired: February 9, 2026 (Rebroadcast by Choice Classic Radio)
Original Language/Style: Hardboiled, witty, with noir banter and humor

Episode Overview

In this classic episode of Richard Diamond, Private Detective, Dick Powell’s wisecracking gumshoe is drawn into a counterfeit money scheme when a newsboy friend gets tricked with a fake $5 bill. The case escalates as Diamond uncovers a connection between a neighborhood bar, an ice cream parlor, and a notorious ex-con known for counterfeiting operations. The tale blends suspense, humor, and the affable rapport between Diamond and supporting characters, all set against the hustle of New York’s streets.

Key Discussion Points & Plot Beats

1. Diamond’s Introduction & A New Case Begins

• Setting the Stage: Diamond introduces himself with sardonic flair, describing his line of work and respect for “old man trouble.”
  • “If you come up with something unusual, a new kind of trouble, drop around and see me.” (00:50)
• Inciting Incident: Diamond stops at the local newsstand, chats with young Jeff the newsboy, and they head for ice cream at Mary Lou’s.
  • Jeff inadvertently receives a counterfeit $5 bill as payment.

2. Encounter with Counterfeit Money

• Identification of Counterfeit: Diamond recognizes the fake bill immediately.
  • “Well, this Finn's counterfeit...One of the best engraving jobs I’ve ever run across.” – Diamond (03:54)
• Jeff’s Disappointment: Jeff refuses Diamond’s offer to reimburse him, unwilling to be “bailed out” for his mistake.
  • “You only learn by mistakes. I made a big one, so I'm out five. I'll get along.” – Jeff (04:29)

3. Investigation Kicks Off

• Fifth Precinct Visit: Diamond checks in with Lieutenant Walt Levinson, whose banter matches Diamond’s humor.
  • Memorable repartee about homicide and coroner routines.
  • “There ain’t gonna be any rough stuff in my joint, so you better relax, Sonny!” – Bar Owner (09:30)
• Tip From Jeff: Jeff spots the man who passed him the fake bill entering a nearby bar, alerting Diamond.
  • Diamond follows up, encouraging Jeff’s involvement while cautioning him not to take risks. (05:05, 08:25)

4. The Counterfeit Ring Connection

• Confrontation in the Bar: Diamond confronts “Walker,” the suspect, but the situation turns hostile and Walker flees.
• Trail Leads to a Gambling Den: Diamond tails Walker, ending up in a backroom gambling operation where counterfeit money is used to pay winners.
  • “Pay the winner off with counterfeit. I think we better go back to my office.” – Walker (10:20)

5. The Tables Turn

• Desk-struggle Showdown: Diamond ingeniously pins Walker with a desk, trying to force a confession about the mastermind behind the counterfeiting.
  • “If I mash you any more, they’ll be able to use you for wallpaper.” – Diamond (14:01)
• Sudden Murder: As Walker’s about to reveal the big boss, he’s shot through the window, dying instantly.
  • “He died with his head rolled back and his eyes staring up like he wanted to starve for trying.” (14:45)

6. Mary Lou’s Involvement & the Hidden Presses

• Leads to Dad Foster: Lieutenant Walt mentions “Dad Foster,” an ex-con and former counterfeiter, now running a saloon next to Mary Lou’s ice cream shop.
• Jeff in Danger: Overhearing suspicious talk at the ice cream parlor, Jeff realizes the involvement of the bartender and Mary Lou in the crime. He tries to alert Diamond but is caught and tied up.

7. Diamond Confronts the Villains

• Diamond Faces Dad Foster: In the bar, “Dad” Foster pulls a gun on Diamond, concealing the counterfeiting operation behind the ice cream parlor.
  • “You see that door there in the back?...Keep walking along your side of the bar and don’t try anything. I just had my floor scrubbed; it’d be a shame to spill you all over.” – Foster (21:00)
• Revelation: The operation's cover is exposed—presses disguised as ice cream machines, fake bills shipped in ice cream cartons.

8. The Climax & Rescue

• Alley Showdown: Diamond is led outside at gunpoint, but the police arrive in the nick of time.
  • “Lieutenant. Walt. Get the girl…You got him, Rick. He won’t play.” (23:03)
• Villains Captured: Dad Foster and Mary Lou are apprehended. Jeff is rescued from the closet unharmed.

9. Light-hearted Epilogue

• Celebratory Dinner: Diamond takes Jeff to dinner at Helen Asher's, his romantic interest. Francis, Helen’s butler, provides further comic relief.
  • “She thinks I'm an undercover agent, and I'm afraid I'm going to have to prove it.” – Francis (24:50)
• A Song for Supper: Diamond croons “You're Breaking My Heart” for his supper, sustaining the show’s trademark blend of action and charm.
  • “You’re breaking my heart, ’cause you’re leaving…” – Diamond (26:21+)

Notable Quotes & Moments

• Diamond’s Office Philosophy: “It’s like a penny getting lost in a gum machine.” (02:10)
• Detective Banter:
  • “If you want to see the lieutenant, go on in.” – Otis
  • “Thank you, Sergeant…Until we meet again.” – Diamond (05:37)
• On Jeff’s Pluck:
  • “You only learn by mistakes. I made a big one, so I'm out five. I'll get along.” – Jeff (04:29)
• On Counterfeiters:
  • “Pay the winner off with counterfeit. I think we better go back to my office.” – Walker (10:20)
• Desk Maneuver:
  • “If I mash you anymore, they’ll be able to use you for wallpaper.” – Diamond (14:01)
• Walker's Death:
  • “He died with his head rolled back and his eyes staring up like he wanted to starve for trying.” (14:45)
• Foster's Threat:
  • “I just had my floor scrubbed. It’d be a shame to spill you all over.” – Dad Foster (20:58)
• Comic Close:
  • “You get two desserts.” – Diamond to Jeff (28:05)

Important Timestamps

| Timestamp | Event/Dialogue |
|-----------|----------------|
| 00:50 | Diamond’s introduction to his “trouble” business | | 03:54 | Diamond identifies the counterfeit bill | | 05:05 | Diamond warns Jeff not to act alone | | 08:25 | Jeff tips Diamond about the suspect’s location | | 10:20 | Walker forced to discuss the counterfeit operation | | 14:01 | Diamond confronts Walker, uses the desk trick | | 14:45 | Walker is shot while confessing | | 16:25 | Jeff is instructed to watch the saloon, then captured | | 20:58 | Foster menaces Diamond at gunpoint | | 23:03 | Police arrive, villains apprehended | | 25:26 | Jeff joins Diamond at Helen’s for dinner | | 26:21 | Diamond sings “You’re Breaking My Heart” |

Summary Flow & Tone

This episode is a quintessential slice of mid-century radio noir, balancing suspenseful detective work with a light touch of humor and endearing camaraderie. The narrative is brisk, laced with snappy dialogue, dry wit, and urban cleverness. Diamond’s rapport with Jeff, Walt, Francis, and even his antagonists, infuses the episode with warmth and personality, making it engaging for listeners old and new. The episode delivers action-packed mystery but always circles back to levity—a hallmark of the Richard Diamond series.

For new listeners:
Even if you’re unfamiliar with Richard Diamond, this episode is rich in character and atmosphere, providing a full detective story with all the twists, turns, wisecracks, and an ending tune that defines the Golden Age of Radio's detective genre.