Richard Diamond, Private Detective: The Stolen Purse 05/22/1949

Summary

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Richard Diamond, Private Detective: "The Stolen Purse" (Aired 05/22/1949)

Episode Overview

This classic Richard Diamond episode, "The Stolen Purse," takes listeners through a tangled web of deception, murder, and counterfeit money. Private detective Richard Diamond’s dull week takes a sudden turn when an aging ex-con, Glenda, asks for his help returning a seemingly innocuous purse. Before long, Diamond is dodging thugs, implicated in murder, and unraveling a clever counterfeit ring where a black patent leather purse holds the key. The story blends Diamond’s trademark wisecracks with hard-boiled noir, crackling with witty banter and suspenseful action.

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Key Discussion Points and Plot Breakdown

1. A Quiet Day Interrupted (00:46–06:17)

• Diamond’s Melancholy: Diamond reflects on slow days and waiting for clients in his office.
  • Quote (00:46): “My name’s Diamond and like a lot of working people at five o’clock in the afternoon I get pretty anxious for six o’clock to roll around. Especially if I haven’t had a client for the last three days.”
• Setting the Crime in Motion: Scene shifts to thugs Al and Stan with a woman, Dottie, in a hotel room, discussing a mysterious transaction involving a purse. Dottie makes a tense handoff of a purse to Glenda at a newsstand.
• The Purse Exchange: Dottie surreptitiously stashes the purse with Glenda, instructing her to keep it until she can meet again.

2. Diamond Gets Involved (06:01–08:10)

• Glenda’s Plea: Glenda comes to Diamond, fearing she’ll be accused of purse snatching and asks him to find the true owner.
  • Quote (06:31): “I want you to find the owner of this purse and return it.”
• Suspicion: Diamond is wary, suspecting Glenda may have lifted money, but finds only minor items inside.

3. Thugs and Threats (07:40–08:52)

• Al’s Intimidation: Thug Al rudely bursts in, demanding the purse. Diamond refuses and cold-cocks him in a comedic scuffle.
  • Quote (08:11): “And something to go with it.” (delivering a punch)

4. Trouble Mounts—A Murder! (08:35–13:05)

• Contacting the Police: Diamond updates his old friend Lieutenant Levinson, suggesting the suspicious visitor may be wanted.
• A Twist: Diamond leaves; shortly after, Al is found dead, shot in Diamond's office, and Diamond becomes a suspect.
  • Quote (13:06): “Oh, that crazy Walt Levinson’s got me in line for a murder rap.”

5. The Purse Causes Havoc (13:05–18:11)

• Purse Chaos: The pursuit of the purse continues. Francis, Helen Asher's butler, is accused of purse snatching after being attacked by Glenda in a street scuffle and recounts the wild incident at the station.
  • Quote (16:44): “When I wouldn’t give her the purse, she started yelling and called me a masher. And some enormous gentleman arrived and clouted me in the jaw.”
• Helen in Danger: Dottie is threatened in Helen’s apartment by Stan, who’s seeking the purse.

6. Glenda’s Fate and the Puzzle Unraveled (18:42–24:08)

• Diamond Hunts Glenda: Following a clue from matchbooks in the purse, Diamond tracks Glenda to her riverside shack, only to discover she’s been strangled.
  • Quote (19:40): “She couldn’t close her eyes because a rope around her neck was squeezing them open.”
• The Purse Trail: Diamond traces the purse to the Adams Hotel using the initials D.K.—Dorothy King (Dottie).
• Confrontation: In Dottie’s hotel room (20:40–22:08), Diamond, Dottie, and then Stan have a tense standoff over the purse’s contents.

7. Counterfeit Conspiracy Revealed (23:27–24:45)

• The Locker Key: Dottie divulges—under duress—that the purse’s real value was its key to a subway locker holding $100,000 in counterfeit bills.
• Stan’s Desperate Gamble: Stan flees with the key, retrieves the fake money, and tries to escape through the subway tunnels—with a predictably fatal result.

8. Denouement and Light-hearted Wrap-Up (25:34–28:51)

• Justice Served: The police, led by Levinson, recover the counterfeit bills. The link between Dottie and Glenda is explained.
• Final Explanations: The counterfeit ring used subway lockers, with Dottie fencing for the gang—she tried to double-cross them with Glenda’s help.
  • Quote (26:36): “The key to the locker was in that purse—yeah, in the compact under the pancake makeup.”
• Signature Song and Banter: Diamond serenades Helen, their banter closing on a gentle, comic note:
  • Quote (27:20): “Okay. Lullaby and good night…”
  • Neighbor (comic interruption): “Shut up! I’m trying to sleep!”

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Diamond’s Wit (Throughout):
  • (08:46) Diamond to Otis: “Give them away to idiots. You want to start a collection?”
  • (25:14) “Here’s a corny line. Stop or I’ll shoot.”
• Dottie’s Sass to Thugs (01:49):
  • “Who you gonna roll tonight, doll face?”
    Dottie: “Your grandmother? Ain’t she out of Alcatraz yet?”
• Francis’s Deadpan Delivery (16:44):
  • “She started yelling and called me a masher. And some enormous gentleman arrived and clouted me in the jaw. It was disgusting, sir.”
• Levinson’s Exasperation (15:51):
  • “I want to retire in five years and I want to do it with a healthy stomach.”

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Key Segment Timestamps

• Diamond’s Opening Monologue: 00:46–01:28
• Thugs & Dottie Scene: 01:28–05:47
• Glenda Approaches Diamond: 06:01–07:12
• Diamond Punches Al: 08:11
• Murder and Police Station: 13:05–18:11
• Discovery of Glenda’s Murder: 18:42–19:39
• Confrontation in Dottie’s Room: 20:42–23:13
• Stan’s Subway Escape and Demise: 24:40–25:20
• Resolution & The Rundown: 26:07–27:31
• Diamond Sings to Helen: 27:30–28:03

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Summary

“The Stolen Purse” whirls through tough guys, double-crosses, and a phony purse concealing a genuine fortune—all unraveled by Richard Diamond’s gumshoe savvy and signature wisecracks. The hardboiled plot, peppered with banter and memorable one-liners, delivers suspense, laughs, and classic noir fun—leaving justice (and a lullaby) at day’s end.

Transcript

[Stan]

Welcome to Choice Classic Radio where we.

[Richard Diamond]

Bring to you the greatest old time radio shows like us on Facebook, subscribe to us on YouTube and thank you for [e-mail].

[Announcer]

Here'S Dick Powell transcribed as Richard Diamond, Private Detective.

[Richard Diamond]

My name's diamond and like a lot of working people at five o' clock in the afternoon I get pretty anxious for six o' clock to roll around. Especially if I haven't had a client for the last three days. But even if I don't expect anyone to drop in before 6, I can't take a chance. So I stare out of my office window on 53rd street just to I see the night starting to bustle in on the Broadway bright lights. And I wonder just how many prospective clients are out in the city. Who's getting in trouble, what kind of trouble? And will they come to Richard diamond for guidance? Now take the two hard looking thugs in the downtown hotel room as they watch a pretty blonde hurriedly get into a flashy mink coat. They're gonna need plenty of guidance.

[Al]

Where you going, Dottie?

[Dottie]

I got an appointment.

[Stan]

Don't you think you ought to stick around just in case the contact comes in?

[Dottie]

If it ain't here by now, it won't until tomorrow. Stop looking like a couple of anxious bloodhounds.

[Richard Diamond]

Relax.

[Al]

Sure, Donnie, sure. But you really cannot blame us for being a little disquieted.

[Stan]

Don't she look classy, Al? Hey, who you gonna roll tonight, doll face?

[Dottie]

Your grandmother? Ain't she out of Alcatraz yet?

[Stan]

Hey, I don't like no cracks about my family.

[Dottie]

What are you gonna do, Stan? People stop by the zoo every day.

[Al]

Now please. Nolagomachy.

[Stan]

Yeah. No. Yeah. You keep running off at the mouth like that, baby, and you'll be spitting out all your teeth.

[Dottie]

Yeah, well, when you kick off, Stan, don't try to sell your body to science. I' both heads in that bottle.

[Stan]

I'm.

[Al]

Please, please leave us, Dottie and Stanley. You shut your big mouth before I shove my foot in it. Go on. Dottie. I think you had better make a hurried percolation.

[Lieutenant Levinson]

What?

[Al]

Beat it.

[Stan]

Why didn't you let me mess her up a little? She's always acting like she's got a family background.

[Al]

I do not know whether her family had anything to do with it. But it is a very nice background to gaze at. Now shut your ugly face and let us start tailing her.

[Stan]

Tailing her? What for?

[Al]

I think she is up to something.

[Stan]

Yeah, well, sure she is. But I don't Want to get booked as a peeping Tom?

[Al]

Stan, you are a melon head. I think she is going to try a cross. Florida has not never been late with the numbers before.

[Stan]

You think she's going to pick up the bundle and skip?

[Al]

No, I just want to see what she does with her evenings.

[Stan]

Oh, well, I can tell you that.

[Al]

Stanley, please, you arouse my irascibility.

[Stan]

Oh, I'm sorry, Aloysius.

[Dottie]

Paper.

[Glenda]

Evening paper. Paper.

[Richard Diamond]

Evening, Glenda.

[Glenda]

Oh, hello, Horace.

[Al]

Times.

[Glenda]

You look tired. Hard day at the office?

[Al]

I stayed home.

[Richard Diamond]

My wife's swell.

[Glenda]

Here's the Times.

[Al]

Thanks.

[Helen Asher]

Good night, Glenda.

[Glenda]

Good night. Papers. Evening papers.

[Dottie]

Have you got a light edition?

[Glenda]

Why yes, right here, dearie. You got it?

[Dottie]

Yeah. And the purse.

[Glenda]

Put it down on the counter and look through the paper. Okay. Paper.

[Dottie]

Evening paper.

[Glenda]

What do you want me to do with the purse?

[Dottie]

Keep it till I meet you at the train.

[Glenda]

Sure, honey. It's good to be working again, ain't it? Dotty? I gotta go.

[Dottie]

They usually got a tail on me. I'll see you tomorrow morning.

[Glenda]

Relax, we're in the chips.

[Dottie]

Paper.

[Glenda]

Evening paper. Paper, sir?

[Al]

No, but I will take that purse.

[Glenda]

Purse? Oh, why that nice young lady must have left it on the counter when she looked at the paper.

[Al]

Please just extend your agent index and shove it over here.

[Glenda]

Why, I can't do that. It belongs to that young lady.

[Al]

Look, it would make me very unhappy to have to shove all those nice old wrinkles around. But I am in need to possess one patent letter handbag. Now if you will kindly move it my approximate latitude you'll bat we can dispense with.

[Glenda]

Why, you poor excuse for a low brow guniff. For two cents I'd rap a lead SAP across your flat head.

[Helen Asher]

Well, hello, Glenda. Hello.

[Al]

How's business?

[Glenda]

Oh, Officer Quine, aren't you on a little late?

[Al]

Yes, I've been changed to the six o' clock beat.

[Lieutenant Levinson]

Well, good evening, sir.

[Stan]

Yeah, lovely.

[Al]

Good evening, officer.

[Lieutenant Levinson]

Say, haven't I seen you somewhere before?

[Al]

Hardly. I reside in Flatbush. Well, thank you, mother. I do not see anything I want. Goodbye.

[Lieutenant Levinson]

He doesn't see anything he wants. What does he think you're running at a drugstore there?

[Stan]

Hey, Al, I saw a cop.

[Al]

I am proud of you, Stanley. Now let us hurry around this corner.

[Stan]

What you think Dot and the old dame are cooking up something to get.

[Al]

Her Stop here so we can watch the old dame, Stanley? To put it in your words, yeah, I think they are cooking up something.

[Stan]

Oh, you figure she slipped the old girl her numbers?

[Al]

Your perception Astounds even my astute. Hey, observe.

[Stan]

Oh, yeah, Your grandma is taking off and leaving the cop behind to watch the papers.

[Al]

Yeah, she's going in that building. She has got the price. Stanley. Stay here and await my return.

[Stan]

Okay, but my feet are beginning to hurt.

[Al]

Go in a drugstore, purchase some blue jays. I shall be right back with the place.

[Glenda]

Mr. Diamond.

[Richard Diamond]

Well, hello, Glenda. Come in. Pull up a rocking chair. Well, that's the way it begins. Sometimes when you wait around until the last minute, you get a customer. I wasn't too happy about this one because I knew she didn't have enough money to hire a tramp to spot cigarette butts.

[Glenda]

I haven't got much time. I've got Officer Quine watching my paper stand.

[Richard Diamond]

Officer Quine, you should be happy you aren't selling fruit. He's already got his thumbprint and every apple and Yonkers.

[Glenda]

Mr. Diamond, I found this purse.

[Richard Diamond]

Found it, Glenda.

[Glenda]

Oh, you know me, Mr. Diamond. I'm going straight now.

[Richard Diamond]

I remember a snake that said that once. He broke his back.

[Glenda]

Honest, I haven't been doing that kind of business since I got out.

[Richard Diamond]

Well, what can I do for you, Glenda? I'm broke.

[Glenda]

Oh, it's not a touch. I want you to find the owner of this purse and return it.

[Richard Diamond]

Why don't you give it to Officer Quine?

[Glenda]

Well, there's no money in it. And with my record, he'd sure run me in for purse snatching.

[Richard Diamond]

No money, huh?

[Glenda]

Oh, no, no. I didn't touch a thing. Just took a peek. Maybe a young girl left it on my counter. If you find her, you can ask her. I didn't touch a thing.

[Richard Diamond]

Okay, I'll see what I can do.

[Glenda]

Oh, thank you, Mr. Diamond. Goodbye.

[Richard Diamond]

Keep your nose clean.

[Glenda]

Oh, I will.

[Richard Diamond]

She'd keep her nose clean, all right, and a glass of gin. I'd known old Glenda ever since she started working bunco rackets and got put away for two to five. I was sure she'd lifted the dough from the purse. But I opened it and went through it anyway. I was just kicking myself for telling her I'd try to dig up its owner when the door opened and an ugly looking mug wearing alligator spats walked up to my desk.

[Al]

You should be ashamed looking in someone else's place.

[Richard Diamond]

It's a bad habit, like not knocking on doors.

[Al]

Oh, it said on the door to come in.

[Richard Diamond]

How long did you have to wait before someone came by to read it to you?

[Al]

May I please have the price?

[Richard Diamond]

Oh, is it yours? Yes, I didn't notice the wedges. Give up, high heels?

[Al]

You are a very poor comic. Now, may I have the purse, or must I make you bleed?

[Richard Diamond]

Oh. Oh, it's like that. Well, sure. Here it is.

[Glenda]

Thank you.

[Richard Diamond]

And something to go with it. I caught him with one that made my arm feel good clear up to my shoulder. His eyes rolled back, and he went down faster than the celluloid collar on the flag pole. I looked at the black purse and started getting that lousy feeling again. I'd gotten into something, and it was beginning to smell already. So I called the fifth precinct police station. Station. And an old friend. Lieutenant Levinson, Homicide.

[Lieutenant Levinson]

Sergeant Otis.

[Richard Diamond]

Hello, Otis. Let me talk to the lieutenant.

[Lieutenant Levinson]

Is this Diamond?

[Richard Diamond]

No, it's platoon number three of the Brownies. 300 strong. Now, let me talk to the lieutenant.

[Al]

What are you going to do with.

[Lieutenant Levinson]

All those tired jokes when you run out?

[Richard Diamond]

Give them away to idiots. You want to start a collection?

[Lieutenant Levinson]

Lieutenant Levinson.

[Richard Diamond]

Hello, Walt Diamond.

[Lieutenant Levinson]

Oh, wait a minute, Otis. Otis, where'd you put the bicarbonate? Oh, hold it a minute, Rick. Get me some water, Otis.

[Dottie]

Yeah, Lieutenant.

[Lieutenant Levinson]

Go ahead, Rick. I can stand it for a second.

[Richard Diamond]

If you didn't get so excited, you wouldn't have to take that stuff.

[Lieutenant Levinson]

Here you are, Lieutenant. Never need this stuff until you call. Now who's dead?

[Richard Diamond]

Nobody, but there's a guy in my office lying on the floor.

[Lieutenant Levinson]

He's dead. He's got to be.

[Richard Diamond]

No, he isn't, Walt. I just belted him in the mouth when he tried to get rough. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. He's trying to wake up, groan for the nice policeman. You hear him, Walt?

[Lieutenant Levinson]

Okay, so some guy got tired, went to sleep on your floor. What do you want me for?

[Richard Diamond]

Hold it a second, Walt. He's getting a little too active.

[Lieutenant Levinson]

What'd you do?

[Richard Diamond]

Kissed him good night.

[Lieutenant Levinson]

What did you do that for?

[Richard Diamond]

Well, I've seen him somewhere. I think he's wanted.

[Lieutenant Levinson]

Oh, well, hang on to him. I'll send the wagon down.

[Richard Diamond]

The door will be open. I'll fix it so he doesn't get away.

[Lieutenant Levinson]

Wait a minute, Rick. Where are you going?

[Richard Diamond]

Well, about five minutes ago, an old dame hands me a black patent leather purse and asks me to find the honor. Right afterwards, this cultured gorilla wanders in and says the purse belongs to him.

[Lieutenant Levinson]

What's in it?

[Richard Diamond]

Nothing much. A compact book of matches and a handkerchief. Mmm. Smells nice.

[Lieutenant Levinson]

No money?

[Stan]

No.

[Richard Diamond]

Oh, I gotta stop by Helen Ashes for a minute. And then I'm gonna find out what makes this purse so valuable.

[Lieutenant Levinson]

Say hello to Helen for me.

[Richard Diamond]

Sure thing. Bye. Walt.

[Lieutenant Levinson]

Be a good boy. Good.

[Richard Diamond]

I got a rope out of my desk that I hung my socks on when I had time to wash them and tied the sleeping garneth to a chair. I didn't know much about pocketbooks, but I knew someone who did. So I headed for 975 Park Avenue and a beautiful redhead named Helen Asher.

[Helen Asher]

Oh, good evening, Mr. Diamond.

[Richard Diamond]

Good evening, Frances. Is Ms. Asher in?

[Helen Asher]

Yes, sir. She's in the study. Shall I announce you?

[Richard Diamond]

No. Just dig up something that'll get me back on my feet. I'll let myself in.

[Helen Asher]

Yes, sir. Mr. Diamond.

[Richard Diamond]

Yes, Francis?

[Helen Asher]

If you'll pardon me for saying so, sir, I just love the way you talk.

[Richard Diamond]

Well, thank you. Francis Eaton, 98. Majored in sloyd.

[Helen Asher]

Oh, my goodness. You're pulling my leg again.

[Richard Diamond]

Anyone home?

[Dottie]

Rick, you got here.

[Stan]

Aye.

[Dottie]

Hi. Well, since when did you start carrying.

[Richard Diamond]

A purse like it matches my complexion, you idiot. Take a look.

[Dottie]

Whose is it?

[Richard Diamond]

Gotta find out. It's worth something. One guy already tried to get it the hard way. Cigarette?

[Dottie]

Oh, thanks. It's got some initials on it. DK there's nothing valuable in it.

[Richard Diamond]

I know. That's what I can't understand. Telematch.

[Dottie]

Here's some in the purse.

[Richard Diamond]

Thanks. Here. Hmm. Adams Hotel. Flop house with sheets.

[Dottie]

Compact's never been used, my darling.

[Richard Diamond]

Well, thanks.

[Dottie]

The perfume and the handkerchief. Silly. It's my darling. Ah. Don't look so hurt. So are you.

[Richard Diamond]

Well, come.

[Helen Asher]

Here's your drink, Mr. Damp. Oh, my goodness.

[Richard Diamond]

That's all right, Francis. I was just trying to convince your boss we should take in the wrestling matches.

[Dottie]

Why, Francis, you're blushing.

[Helen Asher]

Pardon me. Ms. Asher's residence. Yes, sir. One moment, sir. It's for you, Mr. Diamond.

[Richard Diamond]

Oh, thank you, Francis.

[Helen Asher]

I'll see if the dinner is ready. Ms. Helen.

[Richard Diamond]

Hello.

[Lieutenant Levinson]

You get right down here.

[Richard Diamond]

What?

[Lieutenant Levinson]

Lieutenant Levinson. Get down here to the station. Diamond, you're in trouble.

[Richard Diamond]

Diamond. Wait a minute. Slow down.

[Lieutenant Levinson]

Not dead, huh? My stomach starts getting back to normal, and you have to knock some guy off.

[Richard Diamond]

Knock some guy off?

[Lieutenant Levinson]

I don't know why I should waste time with explanations. I ought to just send Otis over there with the wagon. But I like your girlfriend too much.

[Richard Diamond]

What are you babbling about?

[Lieutenant Levinson]

I thought you said the guy in your office was still kicking.

[Richard Diamond]

What?

[Lieutenant Levinson]

Yeah. Somebody made a punch board out of his chest. And I like you for a suspect. Now get down here.

[Richard Diamond]

Wait a minute, Walt. Somebody shot him.

[Lieutenant Levinson]

Yeah. If that wasn't what killed him, he died of fright when he saw the bullets coming. Now, I'm not talking anymore till you get here. Wait 10 minutes or I'll have a warrant out for you.

[Richard Diamond]

Oh, swell.

[Dottie]

Rick, what's the matter?

[Richard Diamond]

Oh, that crazy Walt Levinson's got me in line for a murder rap. I gotta go down and square myself.

[Helen Asher]

Murder?

[Dottie]

Rick?

[Richard Diamond]

Yeah. I'll see you later, baby.

[Dottie]

But, Rick, I can't wait.

[Richard Diamond]

I'll get back as soon as I can.

[Dottie]

If we were married, this wouldn't happen. Rick, you forgot the purse. Francis. Francis.

[Helen Asher]

Yes, Ms. Asher?

[Dottie]

Francis, Mr. Diamond forgot this purse. See if you can catch him. He's gone to Lieutenant Levinson's police station.

[Helen Asher]

Yes, miss. I'll do my best.

[Dottie]

Rick just has got to stop this foolishness. Oh. How did you get in here? Who are you?

[Stan]

I come in a back way, lady. Where's your shamish?

[Dottie]

You get out of here.

[Richard Diamond]

No, just.

[Stan]

Just relax, baby. One yell out of you and you get hurt pretty bad.

[Richard Diamond]

What?

[Stan]

Where's the shammas?

[Dottie]

He went down to the police station.

[Stan]

Okay, where's the purse? I saw him bring it in.

[Dottie]

I don't know.

[Stan]

Oh, come on, baby. Or do I shake it out of you?

[Dottie]

You stay away from me, you hood.

[Richard Diamond]

Hood.

[Stan]

Your ways are pretty.

[Dottie]

I told you, I don't know. Stay away.

[Stan]

Okay, but you're making it tough on yourself.

[Dottie]

Stay away. You stay away from me.

[Helen Asher]

Underneath her arm she walks the bloody tower with the red tucked underneath her arm at the midnight hour.

[Glenda]

Pardon me, sir.

[Helen Asher]

Yes, madam.

[Glenda]

I believe you have my purse.

[Helen Asher]

I beg your pardon, but this purse is the property of Mr. Diamond, private detective.

[Glenda]

Yes, I know. I gave it to him to hold for me.

[Helen Asher]

Well, I'm very sorry, madam, but you'll have to claim it from Mr. Diamond himself.

[Dottie]

Oh, yeah. Help.

[Glenda]

Police.

[Helen Asher]

Measure, madam.

[Richard Diamond]

Help.

[Glenda]

This man is trying to steal my purse.

[Helen Asher]

Madam, let go of my coat.

[Al]

Has Ty given you trouble?

[Glenda]

Mother, he's trying to steal my purse.

[Richard Diamond]

Help. Oh, yes.

[Al]

Huh. Looks just the type. This will in you, Romeo. Oh, my gonna know, lady, will you come on.

[Richard Diamond]

Get up and fight it.

[Al]

Hey, lady.

[Glenda]

Lady.

[Al]

How do you like that? Didn't even say thanks.

[Lieutenant Levinson]

Now, look, Rick, I don't care what you say. You told me you had a guy in your office. When my men got there, they found him tied in the chair with three bullet holes in his chest.

[Richard Diamond]

He was making noises when I left.

[Lieutenant Levinson]

Some guys when they get shot.

[Richard Diamond]

Oh, stop being an idiot. You know I didn't kill him.

[Lieutenant Levinson]

Yeah, I know it. But what do I tell the commissioner? That I let you go because you're a friend of mine. Used to be on the force?

[Richard Diamond]

No, but you don't have to act like I rubbed out the whole west side. Well, I'm mad.

[Lieutenant Levinson]

I want to retire in five years and I want to do it with a healthy stomach.

[Richard Diamond]

Yeah?

[Lieutenant Levinson]

Lieutenant Murphy's got some guy out here he picked up for purse snatching. Says he's a friend of Diamond's and wants to see him. Send him in. This can't get any screwer than it is already. I got a purse snatcher who says he knows you.

[Richard Diamond]

Purse snatcher? Francis.

[Helen Asher]

Yes, Mr. Diamond. I don't feel so well, that's all.

[Lieutenant Levinson]

Otis, Isn't he your girlfriend's butler?

[Richard Diamond]

Yeah. What happened, Frances?

[Helen Asher]

Well, sir, I was bringing that purse down to you.

[Richard Diamond]

That's right. I left it at Helen's.

[Helen Asher]

Yes, sir. Well, a little old lady approached me on the street and claimed it belonged to her.

[Richard Diamond]

What did she look like?

[Helen Asher]

She had white hair and she was wearing an old shawl. I think she'd been drinking gin, sir. Cheap gin.

[Richard Diamond]

Glenda.

[Lieutenant Levinson]

Glenda Bergen. Is she the one who gave you the purse?

[Richard Diamond]

Yeah. Then what happened, Francis?

[Helen Asher]

When I wouldn't give her the purse, she started yelling and called me a masher. And some enormous gentleman arrived and clouted me in the jaw. It was disgusting, sir.

[Richard Diamond]

And the old lady got the purse?

[Helen Asher]

Yes, sir. She ran off and the enormous gentleman sat on my chest until an officer came and carted me off to this place.

[Richard Diamond]

Was Ms. Helen all right when you left her?

[Helen Asher]

Why, yes. You don't?

[Richard Diamond]

I don't know. But if they knew I had the purse and spotted me going into Helen's.

[Lieutenant Levinson]

Here, Rick. Use his phone. Thanks.

[Richard Diamond]

Don't you see, Walt? This whole thing has something to do with that purse.

[Lieutenant Levinson]

I've still got a stiff on my hands.

[Helen Asher]

Oh, my goodness.

[Dottie]

Yes.

[Richard Diamond]

Hello, Honey. You all right? What's the matter?

[Dottie]

Hi. Please come home.

[Richard Diamond]

What happened?

[Dottie]

A man broke into the house looking for that old purse. I told him I didn't know where it was and he started slapping me.

[Richard Diamond]

He did, huh?

[Dottie]

Yes, and I need comforting.

[Richard Diamond]

Well, honey, I've still got something to do. Lock all the doors until Francis gets back, and I'll be over as soon as I can.

[Dottie]

All right. Did you get the purse?

[Richard Diamond]

Francis will tell you all about it. Bye, baby.

[Dottie]

Bye.

[Richard Diamond]

Rick. Some blouse shoved Helen around. Francis, get over there and take care of her. It's all right if he goes, isn't it, Walt?

[Lieutenant Levinson]

I guess so, Otis. I'm releasing the guy that was picked up for purse snatching. And don't say yeah, Lieutenant. Okay, Rick.

[Helen Asher]

Oh, thank you, sir.

[Richard Diamond]

Step on it, Francis. Ms. Asher needs someone to take care of her.

[Helen Asher]

Yes, sir.

[Richard Diamond]

Walt, give me two hours to find out what this is all about.

[Lieutenant Levinson]

You going after Glenda?

[Richard Diamond]

Yeah.

[Lieutenant Levinson]

She's tied up with this killing. I'd better send some of the boys along.

[Richard Diamond]

Give me two hours alone. I want to find the guy who shoved Helen around.

[Lieutenant Levinson]

Okay, Rick. Two hours. And I put in a general alarm for you and the old dame. You know where she lives?

[Richard Diamond]

I got a shack over near the East River. Thanks, Walt.

[Lieutenant Levinson]

Otis, let diamond go and bring me a tablespoon and some water. And Otis shut up.

[Richard Diamond]

I grabbed a cab and 20 minutes later I was standing at the edge of the East River. The fog was rolling in and pretty soon it'd be. Think you could put it in bales? Below me, Next to the water was a line of weather beaten shacks. And one of them belonged to old Glenda.

[Lieutenant Levinson]

You want something, Mac?

[Richard Diamond]

Huh? Oh, no. I didn't see you. Does old Glenda live in one of those shacks?

[Lieutenant Levinson]

Yeah, that one. Got a match?

[Richard Diamond]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Keep them.

[Al]

Thanks.

[Richard Diamond]

Forget it. No, wait a minute.

[Lieutenant Levinson]

Huh?

[Richard Diamond]

Let me see those matches.

[Al]

Hmm.

[Richard Diamond]

I've forgotten all about them.

[Lieutenant Levinson]

What's the matter? You collect them or something?

[Richard Diamond]

These? I do. Sorry, pal. You'll have to get some others.

[Lieutenant Levinson]

Okay, Sporty.

[Richard Diamond]

The inside of the shack looked like a hardware store after a good earthquake. Someone had torn it to pieces, and old Glenda had gotten the same treatment. She was lying on the wooden floor staring up at me. She couldn't close her eyes because a rope around her neck was squeezing them open.

[Lieutenant Levinson]

Is she dead?

[Richard Diamond]

Huh?

[Lieutenant Levinson]

I followed you down.

[Richard Diamond]

Well, hooray for you. The next time you sneak up on somebody, you're liable to end up with a skull fracture.

[Lieutenant Levinson]

Just wanted to see what was going on. Is she dead?

[Richard Diamond]

Unless she can breathe through her feet, she's been strangled.

[Lieutenant Levinson]

Gonna call the cops?

[Richard Diamond]

No, no. I thought I'd rub her wrists for a while. Here's a buck. Call Lt. Levinson at the 5th Precinct and tell him what's happened.

[Stan]

Sure.

[Lieutenant Levinson]

Got a nickel? Yeah.

[Richard Diamond]

Here. And tell him I've gone over to the Adams Hotel on 28th Street. My name's Diamond.

[Lieutenant Levinson]

Good for you.

[Richard Diamond]

Now step on it. He left in a hurry, and I reached in my pocket and took another look at the book of matches I'd gotten from the black handbag. They were from the Adams Hotel on 28th Street. So I went over there fast. The sleepy night clerk showed Me, the register, and I found what I was looking for. I remembered the initials on the handbag were D.K. dorothy King was registered in room 306. I went upstairs.

[Dottie]

Yeah?

[Richard Diamond]

I got a message for you.

[Dottie]

Slip it under the door.

[Richard Diamond]

I'm not that skinny.

[Dottie]

What is it?

[Richard Diamond]

It's from Glenda.

[Dottie]

Oh, wait a minute. All right, the door's open. All right, now shut it and come on in, huh?

[Richard Diamond]

Oh, what a lovely gun.

[Dottie]

Glad you like it. What do you want?

[Richard Diamond]

I just left Glenda. She's dead.

[Dottie]

What?

[Richard Diamond]

Yeah, strangled.

[Dottie]

How'd you find me?

[Richard Diamond]

Matches in your purse. They were from this hotel. I checked the initials on the bag with the register. D.K. dorothy King, room 306. Holmes would call it elementary.

[Dottie]

You must be the Shamas Glenda gave the bag to earlier this evening.

[Richard Diamond]

That's right. How did you know?

[Dottie]

When she called me, she tell you.

[Richard Diamond]

She got it back?

[Dottie]

I feel a quiet streak coming on.

[Richard Diamond]

I usually like women who don't talk much. But right now, you'd better start talking as fast as you can.

[Dottie]

Funny thing, this gun I got makes me lazy. Now get out of here.

[Richard Diamond]

Baby. Baby, I got a big fat surprise for you.

[Dottie]

Yeah?

[Richard Diamond]

Yeah. My gun makes bigger holes than yours, huh? What do you think I'm doing with my right hand? Keeping it warm?

[Dottie]

Oh, don't give me that. You ain't got nothing but a big finger in that pocket.

[Richard Diamond]

Oh, surprise. Next time I make it count.

[Dottie]

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

[Richard Diamond]

Sure. Drop it. Now, that's better. Kick it over here.

[Dottie]

All right.

[Glenda]

Please.

[Dottie]

I didn't kill Glenda.

[Richard Diamond]

Where's the purse?

[Dottie]

I ain't got it on us.

[Richard Diamond]

Well, who has? Look, baby, I'm in a bad mood, hon.

[Dottie]

Is that a no?

[Stan]

That's right. She don't, Mr. Stan.

[Richard Diamond]

Well, you certainly know some pretty ugly company, Dottie.

[Stan]

I don't know if I like that.

[Richard Diamond]

You don't? Maybe I can word it a little different.

[Dottie]

Stan, he's a private cop. He come up here and tried to shove me around.

[Stan]

Well, you should have done it, Shammas. It would have saved me the trouble.

[Dottie]

What do you mean?

[Glenda]

Huh?

[Stan]

Why, you're no good. Cheap double cross. You slipped the bag to that old dame and Al got killed trying to get her from the Shamas.

[Dottie]

I didn't kill Al.

[Stan]

Nah, the old dame did it. I went up to the office and found him dying. He told me she done it.

[Dottie]

What are you gonna do?

[Stan]

Well, the organization don't like being crossed. I got the person, the old dame, and paid her off for killing poor old Al, Now I gotta pay you off.

[Richard Diamond]

I got a surprise for you too, Stanley.

[Dottie]

Yeah? You try anything, you'll have more holes on you than a fishnet. He's got a gun in his pocket. Well, look at his pocket. Wise guy.

[Stan]

Oh, gee, I wish Al was here. He'd know what to do.

[Dottie]

Shoot him. Shoot him. Stan's got it coming.

[Richard Diamond]

Looks like it's a tie. No sense in both of us getting killed.

[Stan]

Yeah. Yeah, you. You plug me and I'll nail you before I go down.

[Dottie]

Don't listen to him.

[Richard Diamond]

I think he's got a point.

[Dottie]

What are you gonna do?

[Richard Diamond]

That's up to him.

[Stan]

As Al would say, a hurried departure is in order. I'll take care of you later, Dot. Goodbye.

[Richard Diamond]

All right?

[Stan]

Yeah, it's pretty good. Al would like that.

[Dottie]

Don't let him get away. Stop him.

[Richard Diamond]

You stop him. All right, baby. Where is he going with that purse?

[Dottie]

If I tell you, will you give me a chance to get out of town?

[Richard Diamond]

I can't do anything about that when I leave you on your own. Technically, you haven't done anything the law could hold you for.

[Dottie]

I haven't?

[Richard Diamond]

No. But that won't stop me from pushing you around. Now, let's have the story.

[Dottie]

If Stan hasn't been there already, he's headed for a locker in the subway station at 34th Street.

[Richard Diamond]

What's in the locker?

[Dottie]

$100,000 in counterfeit bills.

[Al]

Oh.

[Richard Diamond]

Oh, baby. Counterfeit. You have been naughty now, Papa. We'll have to keep you on ice for the cops. Get in the closet.

[Dottie]

Please, give me a break.

[Richard Diamond]

Sorry, honey. Get in.

[Dottie]

Ouch. You're hurting.

[Richard Diamond]

I went down to the night clerk and told him to tell Lt. Levinson when he got there about the blonde in the closet of room 306. The subway wasn't far, but Stanley had a head start and he was in a hurry. I ran the rest of the way. I went down the steps. A train was just pulling out when I spotted him. He'd just taken a bundle out of one of the lockers. And as he turned to go, I walked up behind him. Hello, Stanley.

[Al]

What?

[Richard Diamond]

What you got in the box?

[Stan]

The shamish.

[Lieutenant Levinson]

Here, you take it.

[Glenda]

Oh.

[Richard Diamond]

He tossed the package in my face and started running for the exit. But a crowd of people blocked his way. And when he saw me come up with my gun, he changed his mind. He turned and vaulted the turnstile and I ducked behind the row of lockers. He had a gun too. I tried to get a clear shot at him, but there were too many people and Then the frightened little guy did a stupid thing. He jumped down on the tracks and started running up the tunnel.

[Dottie]

Oh, look at that fool man. He's jumped down on the track.

[Richard Diamond]

Stanley, come back here. You can't get anywhere that way.

[Lieutenant Levinson]

You sit in, Mac. He's running uptown on the downtown side.

[Richard Diamond]

Here's a corny line. Stop or I'll shoot.

[Stan]

You won't get me, Stan.

[Dottie]

Look out.

[Richard Diamond]

There's a train coming.

[Dottie]

Look out. No.

[Helen Asher]

Oh, Mr. Diamond. Come in.

[Richard Diamond]

Hello, Francis. Is Ms. Asher all right?

[Helen Asher]

She spit us up. She's lying down in the study.

[Richard Diamond]

How's the jaw?

[Helen Asher]

Oh, I feel better, sir. This ice bag is helping the swelling. I'll be in the pantry if you need me, sir.

[Richard Diamond]

I'll try not to. Hi.

[Dottie]

Hi.

[Richard Diamond]

Well, poor little baby.

[Dottie]

Yes, poor little baby.

[Richard Diamond]

You're lucky he didn't knock you out. Oh, I'll get it. Francis is nursing his face.

[Helen Asher]

Asher residence.

[Lieutenant Levinson]

Let me talk to diamond if he's there.

[Dottie]

He is.

[Lieutenant Levinson]

Rick.

[Richard Diamond]

Mm.

[Lieutenant Levinson]

Now, you listen to me. I've been chasing your conquests all over town. I end up down in the subway station I notice gets stuck in the turnstile. Don't you think it'd be nice to let the police department in on something once in a while?

[Richard Diamond]

Oh, sure, sure. Right Now I'm at 975 Park Avenue Nursing a beautiful redhead back to health. Oh, did you find the blonde in the closet?

[Lieutenant Levinson]

Yeah. I got the whole story from her. You want to hear it?

[Richard Diamond]

I guessed most of it. She was fencing for a counterfeit ring as she tried to cross them. The key to the locker was in that purse.

[Lieutenant Levinson]

Yeah, in the compact under the pancake makeup. She and old Glenda used to do a duet together before they both got sent up. When the blonde got out, she started working for a counterfeit mob. They'd stash the dough in different subway lockers around town and used her to make the contacts.

[Richard Diamond]

So she figured she could use the hundred thousand. Well, nothing like being in business for yourself.

[Lieutenant Levinson]

She was afraid to pick it up herself.

[Glenda]

Ricky.

[Lieutenant Levinson]

Glenda. Like she'd just forgotten it.

[Dottie]

Ricky.

[Richard Diamond]

Yes, dear?

[Lieutenant Levinson]

Are you listening to me?

[Richard Diamond]

I just stopped by. Walt.

[Dottie]

What?

[Lieutenant Levinson]

Now, wait a.

[Richard Diamond]

What is it, baby?

[Dottie]

I want some sympathy.

[Richard Diamond]

Sure, sure. What would you like? A lover.

[Dottie]

Sing something.

[Richard Diamond]

Oh, come on, baby. We can do without that.

[Dottie]

No, I want you to. I'm sick and invalid. Should be pampered.

[Richard Diamond]

Let me rub your head or something.

[Dottie]

Afterwards, I want you to sing.

[Richard Diamond]

Oh, but it's late, baby.

[Dottie]

Then sing softly. Sing me to sleep. Oh, honey, I'll get mad and you'll have to buy me a present.

[Richard Diamond]

Okay. Lullaby and good night with roses be dy.

[Dottie]

That's wonderful.

[Richard Diamond]

With lilies be consuls.

[Lieutenant Levinson]

Shut up.

[Al]

I'm trying to sleep.

[Richard Diamond]

Well, what is that?

[Dottie]

Oh, it's that grouchy new neighbor.

[Richard Diamond]

Oh, it is, huh? Hey, you want something, bud?

[Lieutenant Levinson]

Yeah. Such a big bezel.

[Richard Diamond]

Oh, is that right? Out of your face. Away the sunshine. Put on a great big smile. Make up you ride with July after Rick. Yeah, okay. That guy gets shell shocked if he fried potatoes.

[Glenda]

Rick.

[Richard Diamond]

What is it, baby?

[Dottie]

Come here.

[Richard Diamond]

Oh, you do need pampering.

[Announcer]

You have just heard Richard diamond, private detective, starring Dick Powell. Helen was played by Virginia Gregg, Lieutenant Levinson by Ed Begley. Also in our cast were Wilms Herbert, Betty Lou Gerson, Jane Morgan, Jack Crucian, High Aberbach, Herb Butterfield and Wally Mayer. Music was under the direction of David Baskerville. Richard diamond is written by Blake Edwards and directed by William P. Rousseau. Now, this is Eddie King inviting her to be with us again at the same time next week when we will again bring you Dick Powell as Richard diamond, private detective. This program has come to you transcribed from Hollywood. This is NBC, the National Broadcasting Company.