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Choice Classic Radio Detectives | Old Time Radio
Richard Diamond Private Detective: The Two Hundred Thousand Dollar Bundle 09/24/1949
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Welcome to Choice Classic Radio where we bring to you the greatest old time radio shows like us on Facebook. Subscribe to us on YouTube and thank you for donating@ChoiceClassicRadio.com here's another in NBC's great parade of new shows. Now. Dick Powell as Richard diamond, private detective. Hello there. This is Diamond. You know, this business I'm in can get pretty silly sometimes. I can go along for a whole month and get by on nothing but meals at the automat and a dozen laughs a day. The funny ones usually pay just as well as the tough ones. But eventually somebody starts something that's about as funny as an open grave. So then I put on a long face and start carrying my.38. I don't worry about those times because I don't think about them. I just know they'll be around. And I know I won't have to bother about it unless I get my hundred a day in expenses. That's the equalizer. As long as I get that ever lovin loot in my little hot hand. Lucifer can walk in with a machine gun and I'll arm wrestle him for the price of a hot dog. Last week I stopped in the middle of a real yocker and realized that I'd been giggling overtime. That's right. The cycle had caught up with me and the label on my future had changed from fun time to trouble. And no guarantee as to the date of expiration. What started all this? Well, one morning on 53rd Street, a car. A couple of guys were just pulling up in front of a garage. This the garage? Yeah. Go on, drive in. Here comes a guy. Yeah. This is big luck for us. The guy coming is the guy I want. I don't want he should see me yet. So you keep talking to him and I'll get out this side. Tell him to look at the motor or something. There something I can do for you, mister? Yeah, take a look at the motor. It's been missing. Sounds all right. It don't drive like it sounds. So take a look at it, okay? Sure. Race at once, Huh? I said race it once. He don't hear so well, huh? Hello, Billy boy. Where did you come from? How did you get here? One at a time, Billy. I came in the car, got out the other side. You're looking good, Billy, real good. What do you want? How did you find me? Can't you ask just one simple question? You get so all mixed up. Billy, look, leave me alone, please. Sure, Billy. I'll leave you alone. All alone. You love. Diamond detective agency. Our 30 day test revealed that not one single case of throat irritation was due to strangling. Oh, Rick, you're awful. Oh, how can you say that? I'm lovely. I'm engaged now. You steal wool? Oh, you idiot. Ah, you. Pete. Hello, honey. Hi. Am I gonna see you tonight? Sure. What do we do? You get here about eight. I'll think of something. Oh, let's stay in. I've got that awful broke feeling again. Oh, is business bad, Rick? Well, it's pretty bad, but it gives me a chance to get some exercise. Exercise? Yeah, I found a Japanese beetle in the desk the other day. Been giving me judo lessons. I'll just pretend I didn't hear that. Don't knock it. Vaudeville's on the way back. Leave it alone. Let it live. Helen, I'll see you about eight. Wait a minute, honey. I think I forgot to shut something off. People are running in clients. I'll find out. Oh, would one of you gentlemen mind dropping a few hundred dollar bills on the floor? Well, I'll call you right back. I don't think they're spendthrifts. All right, Rick. Bye bye, honey. Well now, lads, what can I do for you? Your name's Diamond? Yeah. Would you mind closing the door? I've got a beetle that'll break my arm if he catches cold. Hey, this guy's screwy, boss. Shut the door like he says. You got a beetle, huh, Funny man? Yeah. I'll bet you 8 to 5 he can throw you. Well, if you have got a beetle, he must be running around in your head. But I ain't got time to find out. You know something? I don't think we're going to get along. You may be right, funny man. It depends. On what? On whether or not you turn the bundle over to me. Look, rockerhead, if you're looking for your laundry, you got the wrong bin. I don't like the way this guy talks. No, but first we ask him nice. We want the bundle, funny man. You just said that. I say it again for you, then if you don't get it, I make you understand. Like how you couldn't point out Clyde Beery in a lion cage. Here it is. Now try hard. I want the bundle. I know this will throw you, but what bundle? It's gonna be difficult. Shut up. Look, Shammas, some of my friends think I'm kinda good natured, but sometimes I fool them and get nasty. You should be ashamed of yourself. You wanna know what bundle I tell you? Maybe you snap out of it. The Bundle. The dame gave you the 2000-002000-00200,000 what? Girdles. That does it, Vern. See why the shamus is lying? Now, wait a minute, buster. You go on the muscle with me, and I'll tear off your biceps and stuff them in your fat face. Vern. Yeah. Oh, nuts. Why is it the.38 always changes my mind? And I wanted to be so viral? I'm going to use this gun unless you tell us where you got the 200,000. Now, this is getting silly. No, it ain't getting bloody, see? Now what's going on? I told you, funny man. I want what you got. Well, what I got hurts and you're welcome to it. You sure ask for it, though. Come on. You save your head from getting squashed. And me and Vern save a lot of time where you got the dough. Look, I didn't know what you were talking about when you started, and I'm just as stupid now. You are that funny man, Vern. Hey, wait. Now, a gun barrel can cut you up pretty bad. You want to see how bad? Or do you want to tell us? You think I like the massage? I tell you, I don't know what you're talking about. I don't like to be kept waiting. You, I don't like it none, see? Now you spill your gut so my boy chops you up like hamburger. Open your yap and sing. Sing, you hear me? Okay, but you won't like it. I can't begin to tell you. Cause his lousy mouth close it good. I knew you wouldn't like it. Now, funny man, you got a wise crack. You gonna still make like a hero. Answer me, funny man, or I step in your face. Boss. Shut up. But, boss. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What do you want? He don't hear you. He's out, huh? Well, why did you sat him so hard for, stupid? Maybe you turned him off for good. Nah, he'll be around in a couple of minutes. Then I can work on his ribs. He'll tell us where he's got the dough. I don't know. I don't know. You don't know what? He's got the dough. You sure know that. Yeah, the dame says she'd give it to him. You think maybe she crossed you? You think she skipped? I think maybe. We better find out. This shamus is pretty stubborn and pretty clean. I think we find out how. You watch. I'll search the joint, then we'll get out of here. What about the shamas? Ah, you'll make it all right. I want him around for a while. After we find the doe, you can put him back to sleep. Mr. Diamond. Mr. Diamond. Mr. Diamond, wake up. It's all right, honey. I'm not coming in. Mr. Diamond, wake up. Mm. Oh. Oh. Oh, what a nice sweater. How do you feel? Well, a quick comparison might be a gider snake in a log jam. You don't look very comfortable. Why don't you sit up? Afraid my eyes might fall out. Better? Yeah, yeah. Know any shaggy dog stories? I could use a laugh. How did you get like this? It wasn't easy. How long have I been here? I just came in. I was going to call the police when you started mumbling. Mumbling? Yes. You said something like, oh, it's not so late, honey. Can I come in for a drink? You must have been dreaming. I'm glad I woke up. She probably didn't have a drink in the house anyway. Pardon me, honey, but I gotta run some water over my bumps. You don't look so bad, considering. Oh, considering what? People get run over by trucks every day. When you start feeling better, I'd like to talk business. Well, with business, I straighten right up. What's on your mind? Oh, that sweater. I want you to guard something for me. Why? You're the type that goes bear hunting with a switch that's supposed to be nasty. Take a guess. I just get mauled up by two gorillas and before they get nasty, they mention some dame and some money. And you know anything about it? Why should I? I wake up and there you are. I thought maybe you stopped by to see if the boys get a gold star for the work. I don't know anything about it. Now, do you mind if I sit down? No, no, I'm sorry. I haven't got anything more comfortable. Termites just walked out with my couch. What do you want, guided lover? I can't tell you what it is, but it's in a locker at the 42nd street subway. I want you to pick it up and keep it with you until I call for it. I get a hundred a day in expenses and I don't know what I'm doing. The fee looks like a skyrocket. It's $500. When I pick up the item, you get 500 more and I'll be back in two days. Well, I was going to start looking for the guys who gave me this headache, but a thousand dollars makes me impatient. You got the key to the locket? Yeah, right here. By the way, do you work nights, Mr. Diamond? Well, not in the office. Don't you think I ought to know your name? You get the item and I'll introduce myself in two days. And I do keep a drink in the house, Mr. Diamond. She got up then and walked out of the room like he with half an apple. I put some iodine on my face and headed for the 42nd street subway. All the way down, I kept thinking about those two mugs who had worked me over. And for the life of me, I couldn't guess why. I didn't know it then, but if I could have guessed, it probably would be for the life of me. I reached the subway and went down. I found the locker, opened it, reached in and pulled out a small black leather bag with a lock on it. Out of curiosity, I tested the weight and finally decided I must be guarding a sack full of spiderwebs. I tucked it under my arm and turned to go. But sometimes things don't always work out the way you plan them. Okay, Shammas, let's have the bag. Oh, when am I ever gonna make Eagle Scout? I should have smelled something. Hello, Vern. I'm in a hurry. If your wires crack, you get dead. Give me the bag. Where's your friend? Not collecting heads? I guess I gotta kill you. Guess again. Here's the bag. Okay. I should make a hole in you just because you ain't honest. You hunt the dough all the time. You mean in that bag? Oh, now, don't tell me it ain't in it. Well, if it is, buster, it's all in one bill. Feel the weight. Hey, it is too light. Why, you lousy, no good gumshoe. This time I don't play around. Frank wants that doe and you're show me where it is. Oh, I wish you'd get yourself a 22. Those big guns make dents in my back. I'm going to count three and you're going to tell me where the dough is or I'll kill you all over the place. You couldn't make it a hundred, could you? It's so much fun when you're past 50. Be funny. You're only killing one guy. One. This never happened when I went on next to closing. Oh, now, wait a minute. Lord, you look. It's your last chance, Robert Burn. You're boxed up. Hey, who's that? The Marines. Why, you dirty duck. Rick. Rick, are you all right? Oh, Walt, I know you're bashful about these things, but you're going to be kissed. Oh, now stop that. Otis, have your boys keep the crowd back. All right, all right, keep at you. Come on. What about the gunner? You shot him good, Lieutenant. Well, I'm glad you noticed your mallet head. Now, what about him? He's dead. How did you find that out? 20 questions. Oh, yeah. Well, I guess we saved your life this time. Well, I hope I can do the same for you sometime, Sergeant, but science will hate me. Now, don't you start blubbering again, Otis. I couldn't stand it. Go get the wagon like a good boy. Okay, Lieutenant. Now, what's this all about, Rick? Believe me, Walt, I don't know. How did you get here? We got a call from a dame about 10 minutes ago. Said you were coming down here and some guy was going to kill you. Well, well, well. Now, don't you well, well, well me. I want to know what this is all about. Let's go down to headquarters and I'll tell you just what I know. Wally, you coming? You mean you're going to cooperate? Certainly. Oh, Otis. What's the matter, Walt? I feel a little faint. Would you mind helping me up the stairs? I think I've been working too hard. Walt and I left the subway and headed for the 5th Precinct Police Station. On the way over, I told him about the girl and about the two hoods who had worked me over in my office. When we reached the station, he shoved the Rogues Gallery at me and I started going through the miles of photographs. Well, the guy we shot in the subway was one Vern Gironda, Small time torpedo. But we can't find out anything else. Can't you find the other one in any of those pictures? Well, I've looked through them all. All I know is his name is Frank. Maybe he hasn't got a record. Here, try this stack. Dates back to the year one. Well, you can bet on one thing, Walt. The girl who called you was the girl who was in my office. She was the only one who knew I was going down to the locker in the subway. But how did she know this Verne Geranda was going after you? Well, she must have known he was going to tail me and that he was after something. Something that could have been in that black bag. It was a plant. Because she knew it was empty. I think she'd planned that. When? When this Verne caught me with an empty bag. He'd get rough enough to shoot, and if you were there, you'd have to stop him. You mean she wanted him dead? That's my guess. Dead or in jail. But out of the way. I have 200,000 probably behind it. What? Did you find something? Yeah, this is the other guy who came into the office. Yeah. Let's see. Hey, what do you think you're doing? What's the matter with you? This is the man. You're crazy. Now you listen to me. If you're trying to start one of those routines. Oh, now wait a minute. You asked me to pick out the hood that was in my office. And this is the boy. A little younger maybe, but you know darn well I wouldn't make a mistake on identification. This is screwy. This is ridiculous. Where's my bicarbonate? What is wrong with you? Rick, that's Frank Purcell and he's been dead for two years. What? Oh, wasn't he the guy who went over a 50 foot cliff with his whole gang? That's right. The car burned. The only guy they didn't find in the wreck was Billy Crump. He disappeared completely. Well, this one got out of it too, and stayed around long enough to pay me a visit this morning. And his first name was Frank. That's impossible. The boys chased them right after the holdup and shot out one of their tires. Watched the car go over and saw it turn. Didn't they knock over the payroll at the Martin shipyard? Sure. Got away with 200. $200,000, huh? Oh, yeah. What is it on that killing down at the garage that. That guy was just identified as being one of farm robbery. Killing? Yeah, pretty bad. Somebody shot up a guy that worked in the place. Who was it? Her name was Crump. What? Yeah, Billy Crump. Stuck up some shipyard about two years back. Oh, shut up. I was only telling you. Okay, okay. What else on it? Has a wife, lives at 64th street, apartment 205. That's all. Well, don't just stand there, you applehead. Go get the car. Oh, oh, oh, yon. Come on, Rick. I'm waiting. All right, all right, I apologize. Oh, you really don't have to, Walt. I was as confused as you were. Was? But you're not now. No, I don't think so, Walt. But let's get over to see Mrs. Crump. She can do a lot of straightening out. I hope Mrs. Crump is in. Oh, I forgot to tell you, Lieutenant. She calls herself Stewart. Mrs. Edna Stewart. What? Yeah, her husband used the alias instead of Scrump. Oh, well, that's all right, Sergeant. Maybe when you start pounding a beat again, you'll think of those little things. 205, wasn't it, Wong? How about it, Sergeant? It was 205, wasn't it? Oh, Yellowtown 205. That was it. I remember. I might make a few months. Shut up. Hold it down. I'm sorry, Otis. Yeah, Lieutenant? Shut up. Here it is, Walter. I'll give it a knock. Go ahead. Looks like no score. Try the door. Why, Walt, without a warrant. Now don't you start that again. If Frank Purcell is still alive, we weren't going to grab that 200 grand. We got to work fast. Besides, I'm not trying the door. You are. Well, it's open. Unstained and honest. I suppose you'd like me to trip you just so you can say you fell in by mistake. Oh, come on. Pick up your big feet, Otis. That would be hard even for Samson. Oh, yeah? Now you listen to me, wise guy. I'm getting sick and tired. Oh. Holy cow. Ten. It's a body. Rick, how about it? Quite. Mrs. Crump. Mrs. Crump. Mrs.— Stewart. The girl in my office this morning. No difference. I figured she might be the one in your office. When I heard Crump had a wife, she must have had the 200 grand and Purcell killed her for it. Well, you can bet the cash wasn't in the apartment because she was too smart to keep it here. No signs of a struggle. From the way she's lying, she was probably sitting at this desk. A writin pad on the desk, Lieutenant. Keep your paws off of it. She was writing something. Hmm. Went through to the bottom sheet. Now, numbers. Otis. Start casing the place and have a conscience when you pass the icebox. Okay, Lieutenant. Too many numbers for a phone, Walt. Walt, what are we looking for? Purcell and the 200,000. Okay. Now, we don't know where Purcell is, but that $200,000 had to cool off until Crump could spend it. So now, where would be the safest place to keep that much cash? The numbers. Safety deposit box you have just won yourself, Sergeant Otis. I should cut my throat first. Now it's a cinch. Purcell has gone down to the safety deposit box. I found a couple of plane tickets, Lieutenant, and it looked like they'd started to pack. Yeah? Let me see them. Two for Mexico City. And good for the first that ties it. Would you mind whispering in my ear, or am I asking too much? Walt, when Mrs. Crump came to my office, she made it very clear she'd be back in two days. That's the first of the month. I don't know how long she'd been there before I woke up, but she was interested in my office and she was coming back in two days. Now, if she wanted to hide something. The best place would be somewhere that had already been searched. Otis, you think you could dig up a safety deposit box under the name of Crump or Stewart? Here's the number. I can try. Stout fellow. Now, Walt, if Frank Purcell did kill the girl and then headed for the deposit box, I don't think he found much. And the only other person that Mrs. Crump contacted and that he suspects is yours truly. And he'll tail you or worse. I hope so. But I want 10 minutes alone in my office before he catches up. Now, what is. Get going and call me at my place. Right now, Walt. I'm gonna walk around for about half an hour and see if I can pick up a tail. Then I'll lead him to my office. I'll get there at exactly 2:30. You get there 10 minutes later. I think I'm gonna need help. I still wish I knew what you were up to. As soon as Otis finds that deposit box and tells me if Mrs. Crump is at the bank around 11 this morning, I'll tell you the whole thing. And if I'm lucky enough to stay alive, you'll have Frank Purcell to fill in the details. I left Walt and started walking. If Purcell was after me, he was too smart to let me spot him. So I just kept going until I'd used up the half hour and I was on my way up to my office. Purcell wouldn't follow right away, so that gave me the 10 minutes I wanted. I went in and looked around. Nothing had changed. Desk, chair behind and chair in front of the small closet with sink, hat rack and bookcase. I went to work on the bookcase first. Nothing. So I took the desk apart. I kept going. Closet under the rugs. Still nothing. I took a breather and tried to reason it out. If I had suspected something in the beginning, where would be the last place I'd look? Something I never use. I didn't have a vacuum cleaner, so that was out. Then I remembered something. Something the girl had said that morning. Do you work nights, Mr. Diamond? I looked up at the big light bulb hanging from the ceiling. A little lost weekend, but it was worth a try. I walked over and snapped on the light switch. Ah, score for Diamond. With the light on, the bowl became transparent and lying at the bottom, I could see the outline of a large bundle. I forgot to smile because the footsteps coming up at the hall sounded like company. I turned off the light, went over to my desk and sat down with a very comfortable.38 between my legs. Well, good afternoon, Rocker boy. Did you forget your bucket of blood? I forgot something. Sure, funny man. I forgot to leave you dead. Don't look so unhappy. You tried. I've been getting a big run around all day, so I brought me something to slow things down. You want to see it or do I keep it in my pocket? If it's a mouse, I'll scream. In this pocket, I got six ways to kill a louse. If you ain't seen a louse, just grab a mirror. Oh, my George. My George. That was a good one. What's the matter? Was the deposit box empty? Oh, you know about that, do you? I figured you was working with a dame. Well, you got a silent partner now. You're right. Last time I saw her, she was speechless. I'm gonna do the same for you, funny man. But I make a deal. You say no or even maybe, and I'll kill you where you sit. You say okay, and I'll let you keep going until you choke on one of your jokes. You tell me if I'm right and I'll give you a quick answer. You've been after Billy Crump ever since the shipyards robbery because he got away with the money. You finally found his wife and she got scared. She bought two tickets to Mexico. How am I doing? Great. You tell a good story. When Mrs. Crump saw all that lovely cabbage, she got greedy. She got ahold of you and made a deal. Yeah, she was a pretty smart chicken. I knock off her husband, Billy, and she splits the dough with me. And if I guess right, at 11 o' clock this morning, while you were killing Billy Crump, she was grabbing the 200,000. So that's how it goes. But after we rubbed out Billy, she called and said the doe was planted with you. She wanted the door herself. She used me to lead you to the subway, right? Where were you? Upstairs. I figured something was up. Well? Nice little plot. You kill her husband, the cops kill you and your torpedo. And bless her little heart, she winds up with a pot of gold. Now she winds up dead. The dough wasn't in the box, so she planted it somewhere. We saw her coming in here after we worked you over. Now, I think she stashed the bundle here while you was out cold. So do I get it or do you die? What are you gonna do about that big, bad policeman outside the door? I'm gonna laugh at him because he ain't there. Walt, Stop snooping. Come on in. Hey. Well, what do you know? You wasn't kidding. This might mean a promotion. Purcell you want to turn around and be a good boy, or do you want it the hard way? I stay the way I am. You're in a tough spot, Mr. Copper. If this funny man's a friend of yours, he's going to get it the minute you try your luck. Rick. Yeah, Walt, he's got a point. I might be lucky and get him just right, but it's a long shot. And if I miss, he'll pull the trigger on you. You're pretty smart for a copper, Walt. Yeah. The way it looks, we could be here all night. Unless somebody gets shot. That's the way it looks. What do you think, Purcell? Like I said, the cop guns me, I gun you. Silly, ain't it be a lot sillier if I had a gun, Funny man. That would be a riot. Well, start laughing, Powell. You sure ruined that desk. Ah, I couldn't help it. Had the gun between my knees. I. I move, he shoots. Had to try it right through the desk. What are you sweating for? Me? I could use you for a shower. How's Purcell? Unhappy. How about it, Purcell? I ain't giving odds. Hey, funny man. You know something? You ain't so funny. Get the phone, Walt. Yeah, Lieutenant. Oh, no. Yeah? I found the box. The Crump name was in the bank at 11 o' clock this morning. I found him. Pretty quick, huh? Hooray for you. Wait a minute, Rick. You were right about the. Hey, where did he go? Who? Lieutenant King Kong. Now you get your big fat head over here. Lieutenant. What? Is it okay if I turn on the siren? Oh, Here's the iodine and bandages, Ms. Helen. Oh, thank you, Francis. Stop squirming, Rick. Oh, honey, I know what's coming. When I leave here, I'm gonna look like an advertisement for a snappy funeral. You baby. It's just a little iodine and bandages. Oh, get her. You use enough iodine to stain an elephant and so much bandage you could roll up a herd of mummies. All right, then. Get infected. I am infected. Rick, stop that. Come here. I've had a tough day. I've been beat up, shot at and been insulted by Sergeant Otis. I. I need some relaxation. I want to play. Should I leave, miss? You stay right where you are. I think there's a wolf loose. Francis. Yes, Mr. Diamond? Have you studied your lessons on how to be a private detective? Oh, yes, sir. I'm up to chapter eight. But. Have you read chapter eight yet? Well, no, sir. Oh, that's too bad. I was going to give you some first hand advice. On that chapter tonight. Oh. Oh. I'll go read it right away, sir. May I, Miss Ellen? Go ahead, Francis. I can't win. Oh, this will be jolly. No. Come here, you. Rick, stop it. Get away from that piano. No. You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy. Well, you know what they say about music soothing a savage beast. You don't like it, you sing something. Oh, what for? You don't even look a little wild. Sing something. I'll get as wild as you want. Oh, now, there's a statement. Go on. All right. Little girl, you're the one girl for me Little girl, you're as sweet as can be Just a glance at you meant love from the start and oh what a thrill came into my heart Little girl, with your cute little ways I am yours for the rest of my days and this great big world will be divine Little girl, when you're mine o mine. Okay, honey, now. Now get wild. All right. Come here. A little wilder. There you go. And this time I'd like to ask your opinion. It is in chapter eight that h. Oh, well, look at that. And I'm not blushing. Oh, I must be getting used to it. You have just heard Richard Diamond, Private Detective, starring Dick Paul. Helen was played by Virginia Gregg, Lieutenant Levinson by Ed Begley. Also in our cast were Wills, Herbert, Gene Bates, Robert Carroll and Ted Decorcia. Music was under the direction of Frank Wirth. Richard diamond is written by Blake Edwards and directed by Richard Sanville. Now here is Dick Powell. Say, ladies and gentlemen, if you've been enjoying our show, and I sure hope you have, be sure to listen on Monday evenings beginning October 3rd instead of Saturdays. Did you get that? Beginning October 3rd, we will be heard on Mondays instead of Saturdays. And check your local paper for the exact time. Dick Powell soon will be seen in the screen version of the best selling novel Mrs. Mike. The Judy Canova show returns to most of these NBC stations next Saturday. In this time period, Richard Diamond Private Detective moves to Monday evenings beginning October 3rd. Next week, tune in at the same time for the Judy Canova show and hear Richard Diamond Private Detective Monday nights beginning October 3rd. You're tuned for the Stars on NBC.