Richard Diamond, Private Detective: To Guard a Seal 02/05/1950

Summary

Podcast Summary: Richard Diamond, Private Detective – “To Guard a Seal” (02/05/1950)

Source: Choice Classic Radio Detectives | Old Time Radio
Episode Title: Richard Diamond, Private Detective: “To Guard a Seal”
Release Date: May 11, 2026 (original air date: Feb. 5, 1950)
Host: Choice Classic Radio

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Episode Overview

In this delightfully off-beat detective story, Richard Diamond is hired for a seemingly simple bodyguard job, only to land in the middle of a bizarre, deadly jewel heist involving a trained seal named Timothy. What begins as an odd request to protect an unknown friend turns into a whirlwind of gangsters, murder, and a seal who’s unwittingly become the most valuable (and endangered) animal in town. The episode balances hard-boiled wisecracks with madcap screwball moments, making this a memorable case from the files of Richard Diamond.

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Key Discussion Points & Plot Breakdown

1. A Mysterious Client and an Unusual Assignment

• [01:25]–[03:43]
  • Caspar Wellington hires Diamond “to protect Timothy,” telling him little except that Timothy is in danger, refusing to answer any questions.
  • Wellington offers $200 for Diamond’s silence and compliance, demanding Timothy be delivered to Grand Central Station the next morning.
  • Diamond suspects something odd but is enticed by the cash:

    “For the sake of a couple of hundred fast bucks, winds up playing nursemaid and companion to a honking seal.” – Richard Diamond [09:34]

2. Diamond Becomes a Target

• [04:32]–[07:06]
  • As soon as Wellington departs, two thugs arrive looking for Wellington. Diamond plays dumb but feels the heat—he's caught between dangerous parties.

3. Meet Timothy: The Seal Turns Detective Work on Its Head

• [07:32]–[09:34]
  • A crate is delivered to Diamond: inside is Timothy, the seal he must protect.

    “Well, I’m standing on my desk trying to fight off a monster. Call up Charles Adams right away.” – Richard Diamond [08:49]

  • The situation grows more absurd, with Diamond luring Timothy with herring.

4. The Precinct Reacts to Timothy

• [10:34]–[12:39]
  • Diamond brings Timothy to the police station, causing chaos:

    “I’d hate to think what would happen if someone wanted in here with a walrus.” – Richard Diamond [11:37]

  • After some slapstick moments, Diamond explains the situation to Lt. Walt Levinson.

5. Clues Accumulate: Wellington’s Secret Past

• [13:19]–[14:00]
  • Otis uncovers that Wellington breeds seals and lives by the docks. Simultaneously, news comes of a homicide.
  • Diamond and Timothy head to Wellington's address.

6. The Crime Unfolds – Murder, Kidnapping, and a Puzzling Scene

• [14:16]–[15:46]
  • Diamond and Timothy are ambushed; the thugs kidnap Timothy and strong-arm Diamond.
  • Diamond calls Lt. Levinson, only to learn Wellington has been murdered (“hole in his chest,” found dead in the river).

7. Investigating the Scene: Seals and Diamond Dust

• [17:09]–[18:09]
  • Diamond and Walt search Wellington’s home and discover dead seals and a leather bag with suspicious dust (later revealed as diamond dust).

    “Who in the world would do anything like that?” – Richard Diamond [17:52]

8. The Twist: Diamonds in the Seal

• [18:26]–[19:48]
  • Otis reveals Wellington used to work for a diamond importer and stole $50,000 in diamonds.
  • Diamond deduces the loot was hidden in fish and fed to Timothy. The thugs are now smuggling the seal in hopes of retrieving the diamonds.

    “I think Timothy’s got a stomach full of diamonds.” – Richard Diamond [19:32]

9. Setting the Trap at Grand Central

• [20:45]–[23:10]
  • Diamond and Walt predict the crooks will try to ship Timothy out by train.
  • At the station, they spot the thugs with a big crate. Walt uses a bag of fish to identify Timothy, triggering the seal’s eager reaction.
  • In the chaos, Timothy bites one thug, causing him to drop his gun, leading to their capture.

    “Timothy grabbed this gun up by the gun hand and made him drop it. I’ll be done. Crazy seal nearly kill me.” – (Thug Aftermath) [23:24]

10. Rescue and Recovery

• [24:05]–[25:27]
  • Timothy is taken to a vet for surgery to retrieve the diamonds. Diamond frets over the seal’s condition and shares some tender moments.
  • Walt calls:

    “He’s very weak. Doctor says he thinks he doesn’t want to live. I think he misses you, Rick.” – Walt Levinson [24:31]

  • Diamond sings Timothy back to health over the phone, leading to comic and heartfelt moments.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Diamond on taking odd jobs:

  “For the 200 fish and expenses, I’d play footsies with a cobra.” [03:14]

• Slapstick with Timothy at the police station:

  “Go on and kiss the sergeant, Timothy.” – Richard Diamond [10:55]

• Timothy’s heroism:

  “Timothy grabbed this gun up by the gun hand and made him drop it.” [23:24]

• Diamond’s showbiz humor:

  “Five minutes after I opened my mouth, every seal in the Biscayne Keys came in and sat ringside.” – Richard Diamond [27:11]

• On the crooks’ blunder:

  “You and your bright idea... Ship the seal, you ship!” [23:24]

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Timestamps for Major Segments

• 01:25 – Caspar Wellington hires Diamond
• 04:32 – Thugs threaten Diamond
• 08:31 – Diamond receives Timothy (“the present”)
• 10:34 – Mayhem at the police precinct
• 13:19 – Otis reveals Wellington’s background
• 14:46 – Timothy is kidnapped
• 15:59 – Wellington found dead
• 17:30 – Searching Wellington’s fishy house, find dead seals
• 18:31 – The diamond heist backstory uncovered
• 19:32 – Diamond deduces Timothy swallowed the loot
• 20:45 – Grand Central stakeout
• 22:04 – Walt uses fish to identify Timothy
• 23:09 – Timothy foils crooks; diamonds recovered
• 24:21 – Timothy’s surgery; emotional phone call
• 25:27 – Diamond sings Timothy back to health

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Tone, Language, and Style

• The episode balances hard-boiled detective patter with fast-paced comedic banter.
• Richard Diamond delivers his narrative with a dry, sardonic wit, often breaking the fourth wall.
• The interplay with supporting characters (Otis, Walt, Helen) is bright with playful insults and inside jokes.
• Even when dealing with life-or-death stakes, the mood remains light-hearted and cheeky:

  “If you want him to do something, throw him a fish. Herring.” – Caspar Wellington’s note [09:34]

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Conclusion

“To Guard a Seal” stands out for its madcap premise and humorous execution, blending crime drama with slapstick and sentimentality. What starts off as a routine case for Richard Diamond turns into an unforgettable adventure with gangsters, a dead client, and a heroic, diamond-swallowing seal. With quick-witted dialogue and lovable characters, this episode captures both the absurdity and heart that made old-time radio detective shows so appealing.

For old-time radio fans and newcomers alike, this episode is a joyride of intrigue, laughs, and (literally) fishy business.

Transcript

[Announcer]

Welcome to Choice Classic Radio, where we bring to you the greatest old time radio shows, like us on Facebook, subscribe to us on YouTube, and thank you for donating. @ChoiceClassicRadio.com.

[Narrator]

The National Broadcasting Company presents Dick Powell as Richard Diamond, Private Detective.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Diamond, this is Walt. Where the devil are you?

[Richard Diamond]

Where I started out to be, down on river street looking for the guy.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Stay right there and wait for me. But you might as well stop looking.

[Richard Diamond]

Why stop looking?

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Take my word for it, he's not there.

[Richard Diamond]

Well, if you're so smart, where is he?

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

The city morgue. We fished him out of the river 10 minutes ago.

[Narrator]

Here's another exciting case from the files of Richard Diamond, Private Detective, starring Dick Powell.

[Richard Diamond]

Diamond Detective Agency. First over the bars. Oh, hello, Helen, baby.

[Helen]

Busy?

[Richard Diamond]

No, why?

[Helen]

I'm lonesome. Can't you come over?

[Richard Diamond]

Honey, I'd love to, but you can never tell when.

[Caspar Wellington]

Mr. Diamond.

[Richard Diamond]

Oh, see what I mean?

[Helen]

Or customer.

[Richard Diamond]

Well, let's see. What can I do for you?

[Caspar Wellington]

I want to hire you.

[Richard Diamond]

Helen, the man wants to hire me.

[Helen]

Oh, good. I'll call you back.

[Richard Diamond]

Bye bye now. Mr. Wellington?

[Caspar Wellington]

Mr. Diamond. Caspar Wellington.

[Richard Diamond]

No. Pull up a couch and tell me the details, Mr. Wellington.

[Caspar Wellington]

I need a bodyguard, Mr. Diamond.

[Richard Diamond]

Why?

[Caspar Wellington]

Oh, it's not for myself. It's for Timothy.

[Richard Diamond]

Well, why does Timothy need a bodyguard?

[Caspar Wellington]

Someone's trying to kill him.

[Richard Diamond]

Oh, you've been to the police?

[Caspar Wellington]

Oh, yes, yes, but they feel it's not quite important enough for them.

[Richard Diamond]

You mean this Timothy's life is in danger and the police won't handle it?

[Gangster/Thug]

Yes.

[Caspar Wellington]

Isn't it ridiculous?

[Richard Diamond]

I don't know. Has anybody tried to kill Timothy before?

[Caspar Wellington]

Well, no one has exactly tried to kill him, but I very definitely expect an attempt.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Hmm.

[Richard Diamond]

Now, look, this Timothy, is he a friend of yours?

[Caspar Wellington]

Oh, yes, a very good friend.

[Richard Diamond]

So what makes you think that someone is going to try to kill him?

[Caspar Wellington]

Mr. Diamond, I came here to hire you to protect Timothy. I'm perfectly willing to pay you your fee, but for the moment, the rest of your questions must go unanswered.

[Richard Diamond]

Well, my fee's $100 a day in expenses, Mr. Wellington. Still perfectly willing to pay it?

[Caspar Wellington]

Here's the cash. And there'll be another hundred if you protect Timothy long enough for me to get him on a train tomorrow.

[Richard Diamond]

Where's he going?

[Caspar Wellington]

Out of town, where he could be safe.

[Richard Diamond]

What's Timothy's last name?

[Caspar Wellington]

That will also have to go unanswered.

[Richard Diamond]

Oh, now, wait a minute. Supposing I do take the job, where do I meet this Timothy. How will I know him?

[Caspar Wellington]

If you take the job, he'll be in your office in a matter of minutes.

[Richard Diamond]

Something sure doesn't ring up right. But the 200 fish and expenses. I'd play footsies with a cobra.

[Caspar Wellington]

Good. Now, I'm going down to the train station to pick up Timothy's ticket. When he arrives, I expect you to remain with him constantly until tomorrow.

[Richard Diamond]

I got a small apartment. I hate the bundle.

[Caspar Wellington]

Don't let him out of your sight for a moment. I want him alive and well when he gets on that train in the morning.

[Richard Diamond]

Does he play Pacheesi?

[Caspar Wellington]

Well, I doubt it, but you never can tell. He might like it.

[Richard Diamond]

Dandy.

[Caspar Wellington]

Have him at Grand Central at 8 o'.

[Richard Diamond]

Clock.

[Caspar Wellington]

I'll meet you.

[Richard Diamond]

Do you know of any way I could possibly learn to hate money?

[Caspar Wellington]

If I did, I would never have come to you. Good day, Mr. Diamond.

[Richard Diamond]

Atlantic Bone and Fertilizer.

[Helen]

Oh, that's a pit.

[Richard Diamond]

Just wondering how a new business would work out.

[Helen]

Now, what's wrong?

[Richard Diamond]

I have a very unhealthy feeling that I've just let myself in for something I won't like.

[Helen]

Oh, the client?

[Richard Diamond]

Well, kinda. I've got a guard, a friend of his.

[Helen]

What's the matter with that?

[Richard Diamond]

Oh, I'm not going all through that again. The client just came on like Secret Service. I got the name of the guy he wants guided and I know that someone's gonna try and kill him. And that's it.

[Helen]

Rick, you be careful.

[Richard Diamond]

Honey. Honey, the client shoved 200 bucks in my rural hot hand.

[Helen]

Oh, good.

[Richard Diamond]

What do you want me to do? I'm trying for catalyst this year.

[Helen]

Didn't your client go to the police first?

[Richard Diamond]

Sure, he went to the police with the.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Hey, you.

[Richard Diamond]

Me what?

[Gangster/Thug]

Yeah, you.

[Helen]

Rick, are you listening?

[Richard Diamond]

Yeah, I'm listening down the phone, friend.

[Gangster/Thug]

We want to talk to you.

[Helen]

Well, if you're listening, why don't you answer my question? If your client went to the police, that's better.

[Richard Diamond]

Well, now I'm a sport. Especially when someone's got a gun pointed at me.

[Gangster/Thug]

Oh, the gun ain't gonna hurt you, chum, if you answer a couple of questions. Where's Caspar Wellington? Who?

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

You're gonna be difficult.

[Richard Diamond]

Look, you got a gun on me. Who wants to be difficult?

[Gangster/Thug]

You don't know Caspar Wellington, friend.

[Richard Diamond]

Never heard of him.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

We seen him come into the building.

[Richard Diamond]

So you figured he came to see me. It's such a small building, only about a hundred offices.

[Gangster/Thug]

Oh, that's pretty funny.

[Richard Diamond]

Glad you liked it.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

No, but we didn't. You're the only private detective in the building. We figure maybe Casper wanted to hire you.

[Richard Diamond]

What would he want to hire me for? What did this guy do?

[Gangster/Thug]

How do you like that, George? Now he's a nosy comic.

[Richard Diamond]

Durante gets away with it.

[Gangster/Thug]

Friend, I have just decided your humor bores me. It's pretty bad, ain't it, Tony? Suppose we push his face around, huh? Maybe don't feel like no more Joe.

[Richard Diamond]

Oh, now, wait a minute. I don't know anything about this Casper or whatever his name is. What good's it gonna do to work me over?

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Well, now, you see, honey and me got real nasty dispositions. We've been crossed.

[Gangster/Thug]

And then you make with the jokes. We don't like being the only ones unhappy, so we think maybe you ought to join. Hold it a second, Jones.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

What for? He's a setup.

[Gangster/Thug]

No way. We mess him up, the law comes. We gotta find Casper. We ain't got no time to play patty cake with the cops.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Ah, just one across the mouth.

[Gangster/Thug]

Forget it. Look, friend, you sure Caspar Wellington didn't come in here?

[Richard Diamond]

I couldn't be more positive. Okay.

[Gangster/Thug]

Put down a ride, George. That don't look so unhappy. Maybe the shamus is lying. We catch him telling the fib. Just think of the fun you can have later on, huh? Come on, we'll leave him.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Yeah.

[Gangster/Thug]

So long, friend. And for your sake, I hope you've been leveling.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Yeah. See you around.

[Richard Diamond]

Yeah. Bye.

[Helen]

Now, you listen to me, Richard Diamond. The next time you hang up on me, I'll never speak to you again. But you better have a pretty good excuse for doing it this time. But you know, I take a lot of things from you, Rick, but never, never once have you hung up on me.

[Richard Diamond]

Helen, please.

[Helen]

And I think it was rude and inconsiderate.

[Richard Diamond]

Helen.

[Helen]

And I want to know right now, this minute just what kind of a poor, lame brain excuse you're going to come up with.

[Richard Diamond]

Helen. Well, now, look, baby, I don't know what's going on. This is like doing business in a roundhouse. The only reason I hung up on you was because two guys stole in here and shoved guns in my face. And they were looking for the guy who came in earlier and hired me to look after someone named Timothy that I haven't even seen yet.

[Helen]

It sounds awfully confusing.

[Richard Diamond]

It is. Oh, hold the phone. Here's somebody else. Come in with your hands up.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

You Richard Diamond?

[Richard Diamond]

Yep.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Got a crate here addressed to you.

[Richard Diamond]

Oh, that figures. Bring it in. Helen.

[Helen]

Yeah.

[Richard Diamond]

You sent me maybe a present.

[Helen]

No. You want me to?

[Richard Diamond]

Yeah, but someone's beating you to it.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Where do you want it?

[Richard Diamond]

Good grief. Put it down right there.

[Helen]

What's the matter?

[Richard Diamond]

The present. The biggest crate you ever saw.

[Helen]

A crate? What's in it?

[Richard Diamond]

How do I know?

[Helen]

Well, open it.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Okay, Mr. Diamond, stand right here.

[Richard Diamond]

Yeah. There you are.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

I hope you still be very happy.

[Richard Diamond]

Ellen.

[Helen]

Yes?

[Richard Diamond]

Hold the phone. I'm going to open this thing.

[Helen]

All right.

[Richard Diamond]

Oh, no.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Oh, get away. Get away. Now, get on. Get down. Don't come up here. Don't, don't, don't.

[Narrator]

Helen.

[Helen]

Rick, what in the world's the matter?

[Richard Diamond]

Helen, this is your idea of a joke?

[Helen]

Please calm down and tell me what's wrong.

[Richard Diamond]

Can't you hear it?

[Helen]

Well, I heard something, but I thought you must have eaten your lunch too fast.

[Richard Diamond]

Well, I'm standing on my desk trying to fight off a monster. Call up Charles Adams right away.

[Helen]

A monster?

[Richard Diamond]

Yes. I'd swear it was a seal, but I know my friends better than that. This thing has got to be poisonous.

[Helen]

A seal?

[Richard Diamond]

Yes, a seal. Hey, he's not so bad. He's applauding. You must have liked that remark about Adams.

[Helen]

Now you stop it. Do you expect me to believe all this?

[Richard Diamond]

She doubts you, fella. Say a few words.

[Helen]

Rick, who in the world would send you a seal?

[Richard Diamond]

I don't even need the look. This has got to be tempting. Oh, it is tempting. When he heard his name, he made like a curtain call.

[Helen]

Sounds like one. Richard Diamond.

[Richard Diamond]

Hey, that's pretty nothing. I'll call you back.

[Helen]

Where are you going?

[Richard Diamond]

I'm going to take Timothy right back to Mr. Casper Wellington and tell him that.

[Helen]

Yes?

[Richard Diamond]

Oh, for the love of. I don't know where to find Mr. Casper Wellington. Well, there it was. It was pretty silly. The smart, shrewd, level headed Richard diamond, for the sake of a couple of hundred fast bucks, winds up playing nursemaid and companion to a honking seal. Just to make sure it was Timothy, I took a look at the crate and there on top was a small printed card. It read, this is Timothy. If you want him to do something, throw him a fish. Herring. Signed Caspar Wellington. Well, that tore it. My temper was already pushing my hair up to attention. So I went out to the nearest delicatessen and came back with a bag of fish. With this, I lured Timothy out of the building and down on the street I had to find Casper Wellington. So 60 pedestrians and one unhappy cabbie later, Timothy and I stole casually into the fifth Precinct police station. Well, well, Hello, Sergeant Otis.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Oh, how are you? Shammas.

[Gangster/Thug]

Huh?

[Richard Diamond]

Huh?

[Gangster/Thug]

What?

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

What'd you just say?

[Richard Diamond]

I said, hello, Sergeant Otis.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

No, after that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that was it.

[Richard Diamond]

Something wrong, Sergeant?

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Y. Otis.

[Richard Diamond]

Otis, say hello to Timothy. Timothy, this is Sergeant Otis. Lieutenant.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Lieutenant.

[Richard Diamond]

Go on and kiss the sergeant, Timothy. Go on. Oh, no, no, no, no.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Get him away from me. Get him away.

[Richard Diamond]

Otis. He's not so bad. Lieutenant.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Help.

[Richard Diamond]

Now, Otis, come down off that desk. You look sillier than I did.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

He's trying to eat me.

[Richard Diamond]

Oh, be quiet. And you too, Timothy. You'll wake up the lieutenant. Here's a fish. Throw it to Timothy.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Not you, Diamond. You'll probably take my arm along with it. Get away. Get it. What the devil is going on out here? Otis, what are you doing up there?

[Richard Diamond]

Hello, Walt.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

What are you doing to my sergeant? And you shut up, Otis. That wasn't me. What do you mean, it wasn't you? Of course it was you.

[Richard Diamond]

Walt, meet Timothy.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

How do you.

[Richard Diamond]

I'd hate to think what would happen if someone wanted in here with a walrus. Come on, Timothy. Let's go see the brave old head of homicide.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get him out of here.

[Richard Diamond]

Oh, relax, Otis. Timothy's as scared as you are. Yeah?

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

What makes you say that?

[Richard Diamond]

He's probably thinking there's more like you. That would be a horrible shock to anyone even to see you. Come on, Timothy.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

You get that thing out of here right now.

[Richard Diamond]

Diamond, everybody's standing on something. You'd think it was a steam bath.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Up till now, I've had two reported homicides and a couple of fat robberies. And if you think you're going to wander in here with that thing and confuse the whole department, you're mistaken. Now get it out of here.

[Richard Diamond]

Oh, Walt, it's only a seal. Have a fish.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

I'm not hungry.

[Richard Diamond]

No, no, Walt, it's for Timothy. Feed it to him. He'll love you.

[Helen]

Yeah?

[Richard Diamond]

Do you think so? Sure.

[Narrator]

Sure, Walt.

[Richard Diamond]

Go ahead, try it.

[Caspar Wellington]

Okay.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Here, Timothy. Hey, he's applauding.

[Narrator]

Sure.

[Richard Diamond]

He's a nice little fella. Now climb down and help me.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Give me another fish.

[Richard Diamond]

Won't come down without it, huh? Okay, Walt, speak.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Oh, don't be ridiculous. I want to feed it to Timothy.

[Richard Diamond]

He likes me.

[Caspar Wellington]

See?

[Richard Diamond]

Oh, lovely. Why don't you two get engaged? Well, after everybody got used to him, Timothy made the rounds of the whole department, with the commissioner being the only exception, of course. I told Walt the story about Caspar Wellington and the two garniffs who had come into my office. Looking for him. So Walt put Otis to work checking on the whereabouts of my missing client. Along about three in the afternoon, Otis pounced in with some news. Hey, diamond, you find something?

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Oh, hi, Timothy.

[Helen]

Yeah.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Say, I check with the Humane Society and they report some guy who lives down by the docks. Is name's Wellington. All right. He been turned in a couple of times cuz he raises seals and they make a lot of noise. Oh, and Lieutenant, we just got a report on another homicide. Well, thanks, Sporty.

[Richard Diamond]

You tell the Lieutenant all about it, Otis. I'm going after Casper. Wellington, what's the address?

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Here it is. 918 River Street.

[Richard Diamond]

Come on, Tim.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Goodbye, Timothy. Otis. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. What was I saying? Homicide, remember? Just a little old homicide.

[Richard Diamond]

I left Walt and Otis climbing over the furniture and headed for the address of Caspar Wellington. Timothy and I grabbed the first cabbie who didn't believe what he was seeing. And 20 minutes later we pulled up in front of a building on River Street. Thanks, cabby.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Yeah, sure.

[Richard Diamond]

Thank the man. Timothy.

[Caspar Wellington]

Mister?

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Yeah?

[Caspar Wellington]

I didn't ask you nothing when you got in the cab because I just didn't be believe it. Is that the seal you got with you?

[Richard Diamond]

You're expecting maybe a raccoon?

[Caspar Wellington]

Do you always take him around with you like that?

[Richard Diamond]

Sure, we're brothers. Right by the house. Sometime for dinner when mom isn't taking a swim. She's not a very good driver, is he, Timothy? You know it. Come on. You're going home.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Hold her right here, friend.

[Gangster/Thug]

H, you hide him. This is a gun in your back.

[Richard Diamond]

Oh, yeah?

[Gangster/Thug]

Oh, you lied to me, friend.

[Richard Diamond]

I'll go stand in the corner.

[Gangster/Thug]

Nah, don't move.

[Richard Diamond]

Okay, George, grab the seal. Oh, now wait a minute. Wait a minute.

[Narrator]

You can't do that.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Wanna bet? Come here.

[Richard Diamond]

You take your hands off that seal.

[Gangster/Thug]

Shut your mouth, friend. Next time you don't get it across the neck, I'll give you the rod on the skull.

[Richard Diamond]

Okay, friend, I got him.

[Gangster/Thug]

All right, get him in a car and you stay put. One bad move, you're gonna get shot up very bad.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Come on, George. You got that thing in the car?

[Helen]

Yeah.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

He's saying, let's get out of here.

[Gangster/Thug]

All right, friend?

[Richard Diamond]

Yeah.

[Gangster/Thug]

You see this? I got pointed at you.

[Richard Diamond]

I see. Good.

[Gangster/Thug]

Forget about today. You won't see it again. Open that big yap of yours and it goes boom. Now turn around. Cause when we leave, I don't want you looking back for no license number.

[Richard Diamond]

Well, I stood there while they drove off with poor little Timothy. Then I made A quick dash across the street into a store with a phone booth. Seconds later, I was hearing one of the most beautiful sounds in the world.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Diamond, this is Walt. Where the devil are you?

[Richard Diamond]

Where I started out to be. Down on river street looking for my client.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Well, you stay right there and wait for me. But you might as well stop looking.

[Richard Diamond]

Well, why stop looking? His house is just down at the end of the block.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Well, take my word, Ferdy isn't there.

[Richard Diamond]

Well, if you're so smart, where is he?

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

The city morgue. We fished him out of the river 10 minutes ago.

[Richard Diamond]

What?

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

You was suffering from a hole in his chest. Dead before he was tossed in.

[Richard Diamond]

Oh, Walt, Walt, Remember those two guys who came into my office earlier?

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Yeah.

[Richard Diamond]

Well, they just put the snatch on Timothy and belted me across the neck for my trouble.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

They swiped the seal.

[Richard Diamond]

Yeah, so get on here. I'll meet you at Casper Wellington's house.

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[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Anybody in the house? Rick?

[Richard Diamond]

No. Well, no answer.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Let's case the place.

[Richard Diamond]

I've got a skeleton key, Dual D. It's open. See? Now if you'll notice, as I walk in, at no time do my feet leave my legs.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Very funny.

[Richard Diamond]

Yeah. Smells like somebody's been cooking up a fish stew.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Crummy joint.

[Richard Diamond]

Oh, get a load of that kitchen.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

What a mess.

[Richard Diamond]

Oh, weren't cooking fish wall just cle.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

There's still a mess of them left on the sink.

[Richard Diamond]

Well, Casper raised seals.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Why are the rest of them.

[Richard Diamond]

Come on.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Yeah.

[Richard Diamond]

Come here.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

What is it?

[Richard Diamond]

Get a look at this. Backyard.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Holy cow. Bunch of dead seals.

[Richard Diamond]

Who in the world would do anything like that?

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Maybe two friends. Hey, what's this?

[Richard Diamond]

What's what?

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

This bag on the floor. Leather bag.

[Richard Diamond]

What's in it?

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Nothing. Wait a minute. Some kind of dust at the bottom.

[Richard Diamond]

I'll save it. We'll have it analyzed when we get down to the station. We got to check up on those two guys who kidnapped Timothy.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

This is the craziest case.

[Richard Diamond]

I got a hunch. Sure, it's crazy, but if I'm right, it's also pretty smart. Let's go to the station.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Hey, Lieutenant. Yeah, Otis. We just got something else on that Casper Wellington guy.

[Richard Diamond]

Oh, what did he steal?

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Hey, how'd you know?

[Richard Diamond]

Just a guess.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Well, what is it, Hammerhead?

[Gangster/Thug]

Why?

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

It seems this Wellington guy works. I mean, used to work for David and Sons. David and Sons. Diamond Importers.

[Richard Diamond]

Oh, that ties it.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Would somebody mind telling me what the devil this is all about? And, Rick, you stay out of it. Now, Otis, what about Wellington?

[Richard Diamond]

Wellington? Oh, he ran off with a load of diamonds.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Yeah, 50,000 bucks worth. Hey, but you, Rick, will you please, for the sake of my sour stomach, tell me exactly what it is?

[Richard Diamond]

You know, I'd be glad to, Lieutenant. It's very simple. Wellington comes to me and asked me to guard Timothy. Two guys kidnapped Timothy.

[Narrator]

That we heard.

[Richard Diamond]

Then we find a bunch of dead seals in Wellington's backyard and the remains of a pile of clean fish. So? So the two guys who kidnapped Timothy were obviously after something. And the seal was part of it.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Hey, maybe Timothy wasn't the seal after all. Now, what would he be, Otis? Well, if those guys wanted him that bad, maybe he was a mink.

[Richard Diamond]

Oh, that bag you picked up. Walt, have that powder in the bottom analyzed. I'll lay six, two and even that, it's diamond dust.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

What do you think?

[Richard Diamond]

Yeah. Yeah, I think Timothy's got a stomach full of diamonds.

[Helen]

What?

[Richard Diamond]

I think Casper was mixed up with the two guys who grabbed the seal, but in some way crossed them.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Why?

[Richard Diamond]

He had to hide the loot, so he stuck it in some fish and fed it to Timothy. Then he left Timothy with me for protection until he could get him shipped out on the train.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

And in the meantime, the two guys who found Casper killed him and went back to his house to find the loot. They figured out the fish like you did and killed the seals in the backyard trying to find this town.

[Richard Diamond]

You, my friend, win a herring.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Otis, have the powder in the bottom of this bag analyzed. Put out a 108 on Timothy.

[Caspar Wellington]

Yes, sir.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Diamond here will give you the description of the guys who grabbed him.

[Richard Diamond]

We'll never find him that way.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

You got a better idea?

[Richard Diamond]

Maybe. Yeah. Look, you said those two guys killed Casper and then went right over to the house to look for the missing diamonds. All right, they knew where to look, but they didn't find anything. So they waited for me and Timothy.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

So?

[Richard Diamond]

So, Caspar Wellington probably told them all about it before they killed him trying to save his own life.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

All right, I'll buy that. So what?

[Richard Diamond]

So by now, they must know how hot those diamonds are. They're Certainly not going to try to get rid of them here in town.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

And then they leave town.

[Richard Diamond]

Yeah, and with that much loot, it would be a little risky if they try it by car.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

All right. All right. How do they do it?

[Richard Diamond]

The same way Caspar thought of ship Timothy out on a train.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Wait a minute. Rick Otis. Yeah. Put in a call to all units. Tell them to cover the airports, train and bus stations. Be on the lookout for a seal that's about to be shipped.

[Richard Diamond]

Come on, Walt.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Where to?

[Richard Diamond]

As long as Caspar Wellington already made the arrangements by train. Let's go down to Grand Central. Maybe our two seal nappers will keep the reservation. Well, Walt and I piled in the squad car again, and 20 minutes later we were standing in the middle of Grand Central Station with a bag of fish and a weather eye out for the missing seal and his two abductors.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Now, where do we start?

[Richard Diamond]

Well, Walt, why don't you just go ask information? Just say, I'm looking for two men and a seal. The seal is hiding $50,000 worth of diamonds.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Now you stop that. This was plenty silly before a jewel robbery and a homicide get into the picture. But now it's gotten ridiculous.

[Richard Diamond]

Well, if I was a seal, where would I go?

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

They have to crate him. The shipping department.

[Richard Diamond]

And so with their trusty bag of fish, the two brave detectives walk.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Shut up and let's go get something.

[Richard Diamond]

Smile, Walt. This kind of case doesn't happen but once every 10,000 years. Think of your report to the commissioner

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

if you don't stop kidding with me. So help me out, Walt. Now what?

[Richard Diamond]

Look. Those two guys where going down the ramp.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Oh, they got a big box.

[Richard Diamond]

That's it. Let's take them.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

You said they got guns.

[Richard Diamond]

They were pointing things that shot bullets. Could be guns.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Take it easy. They're going up to that counter.

[Richard Diamond]

Yeah. Hold it. Hold it here. No sense in starting a shooting match. Too many people.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Well, what do we do? Maybe the seal's not in the box. And if I pick them up without the loot, we may never find it.

[Richard Diamond]

I got an idea.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Go ahead, genius.

[Richard Diamond]

Timothy likes fish, doesn't he?

[Helen]

Yeah.

[Richard Diamond]

Yeah, he likes fish. Well, take this bag. They know me. So you walk down there and move in close to the box. Timothy's bound to get a whiff. And if I know Timothy, he'll raise a few flippers.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

You want me to.

[Richard Diamond]

You want to get those diamonds, don't you?

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Give me the bag. Don't snap.

[Richard Diamond]

People will just think you ran out of cologne. Now get going.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Yeah. Pardon Me? But I'd like to find out about sending something. Oh, yeah? Well, what's the idea, buster?

[Richard Diamond]

We was here first.

[Gangster/Thug]

Shut up, stupid.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

You boys must be really sending something big.

[Gangster/Thug]

I told you to shut up. Yeah, some. Some furs.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Oh, live ones. Hey, Tiny, what's with the se. Will you shut up? I hate to mention it, but your furs are throwing a fit. Okay, boys, that's all I wanted to know. This thing is sealed, gone after the sack this guy laid down. It's a sack full of fish. Hey, what's the item?

[Richard Diamond]

Hello?

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Stay right there. Hey, Rick. Cop. Were you all right, bud?

[Richard Diamond]

Drop it. I said drop it.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Okay, okay.

[Richard Diamond]

Ain't taking me.

[Narrator]

Look out, Rick.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

This guy's got a gun.

[Helen]

Ah.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Lego. Lego.

[Richard Diamond]

My hand.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Where'd he get the seal off? He's chewing my hand off. And drop the gun. All right, all right. Get him off. Come on. Get him off. How do you like that? Timothy grabbed this gun up by the gun hand and made him drop it. I'll be done. Crazy seal nearly kill me.

[Gangster/Thug]

You and your bright idea.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Ship the seal. You ship. Okay, boys, here's a bracelet for you. Let's go outside.

[Richard Diamond]

Walt. Walt, wait a minute. We got to get the jewels.

[Gangster/Thug]

Oh.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Oh, yeah. Well, I'll take care of these two guys. And I'll take Timothy to a good veterinary.

[Richard Diamond]

Okay, Walt? Yeah, if it means surgery, keep in touch.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Sure.

[Richard Diamond]

Bye, Timothy.

[Helen]

Rick, now, don't be unhappy.

[Richard Diamond]

Oh, how can I help it, honey?

[Gangster/Thug]

I.

[Richard Diamond]

He's been in surgery for nearly an

[Helen]

hour, but he'll be all right. They got a good vet.

[Richard Diamond]

I hope so. I was getting attached to that seal. Oh, I got it. Yeah.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Rick?

[Richard Diamond]

Yeah, Walt?

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Yeah?

[Richard Diamond]

How's Timothy?

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

He had the diamonds in him all

[Richard Diamond]

right, but how's he. Well, go ahead, Walt. You can tell me. I can stand it.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

He's very weak. Doctor says he thinks he doesn't want to live. No. Will.

[Richard Diamond]

What's the matter? He was such a happy seal.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

I think he misses you, Rick. Every time someone mentions your name, he kind of honks and raises a weak flipper.

[Richard Diamond]

I better come right down.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

He's sinking fast.

[Richard Diamond]

Oh, you think maybe if he heard my voice. Can you get a phone near him?

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Yeah, yeah. Wait a minute. Okay, I got it. Next to his ear. Say something.

[Richard Diamond]

Hello, Timothy. Oh, Walt.

[Gangster/Thug]

Yeah, Walt.

[Richard Diamond]

Ask him if he's seen a picture called Mrs. Mike.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

He says he saw it. Didn't like the leading man. Loved Evelyn Keys.

[Richard Diamond]

Oh. Ask him if he liked the music.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Yeah, he liked that.

[Richard Diamond]

Well, put the receiver next to his ear and I'll sing him the theme song.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Well, go ahead and try. Anything in case of an emergency.

[Richard Diamond]

If her name is Kathy she's mine alone When I walk with Kathy Kathy proud of mine she's the girl I'll marry and cross the threshold I'll carry and I'll love But Kathy till I die she's the only angel I've ever. She's a maid no man is worthy of Although girls are many Compared to her there isn't any Only Cathy

[Helen]

do I know.

[Richard Diamond]

Well, Walt, I did it. He's better.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Listen.

[Richard Diamond]

Good old Timothy. That a boy.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

I guess the singing did it.

[Richard Diamond]

What do you mean, you guess? When I sang with The Peter Pan 5, we played two weeks at the Carl Gables Hotel in Florida.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

So what?

[Richard Diamond]

So what? I'll have you know, five minutes after I opened my mouth, every seal in the Biscayne Keys came in and sat ringside.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

That sounds like a pretty good act. What'd you give it up for?

[Richard Diamond]

Well, I got a sore throat one night and the place was up to its ears in alligators. Rick? Yes, Wall by.

[Narrator]

You have just heard. Richard diamond, private detective, starring Dick Powell. Ed Begley played Lieutenant Walt Levinson. Also in the cast were Wilms Herbert, Fay Baker, Junius Matthews, Billy Bletcher, Tony Barrett and Larry Dodkin. Music was under the direction of Frank Worth. Richard diamond is written by Blake Edwards and directed by Russell Hughes. Dick Powell currently may be seen in the motion picture version of the best selling novel, Mrs. Mike. Isn't that right, Dick?

[Richard Diamond]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's right, Eddie. Oh, by the way, Ed Begley, who plays Lt. Levinson on our show, would like to say a few words to his old friends in Hartford, Connecticut.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Well, I just want to say on behalf of all of us here, I'm Richard Diamond. Congratulations to radio station WTIC in Hartford, Connecticut, where I got my start in radio and which this week celebrates its 25th anniversary of service to the people of southern New England.

[Narrator]

Thank you, Ed Begley. Now, this is Eddie King inviting you to be with us next Sunday at this same time when we will again bring you Dick Powell as Richard diamond, private detective. Governing a country is a pretty hard headed business. And we don't usually think of our government as a dealer in dreams. But in one respect it is because it's a dealer in savings bonds. Your particular dream for the future can come true through the judicious purchase of United States Savings Bonds today. As for buying United States Savings Bonds, the process is simplicity itself. If you're employed by others, use the payroll savings plan where you work. Your employer will set aside a specific sum from each paycheck for the purchase of bonds. If you're self employed, use the bond a month plan where you bank. Either way, you'll be saving with regularity, with certainty and with profit through the purchase of United States Savings Bonds. What's on NBC today? You'll hear Charles Boyer and Dorothy Maguire today on Theatre Guild on the air in Autumn crocus. And there's the Phil Harris Alice Fay show to add to your Sunday listening pleasure. Be sure to hear Charles Boyer and Dorothy Maguire on Theater Guild on the air and the Phil Harris Alice Fay show today on NBC.