Rocky Fortune: Companion to a Chimp 12/15/1953

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Rocky Fortune: Companion to a Chimp" (12/15/1953)

Podcast: Choice Classic Radio Detectives | Old Time Radio
Episode: Rocky Fortune: Companion to a Chimp
Date: May 21, 2026
Host: Choice Classic Radio
Starring: Frank Sinatra as Rocky Fortune

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Episode Overview

In this memorable episode of "Rocky Fortune," Frank Sinatra plays his signature footloose, wisecracking character, Rocky Fortune, who is drawn into the bizarre case of a kidnapped television star—who happens to be a chimpanzee named Senator G. Godfrey Jiggs. What begins as a simple job as a primate's paid companion for a glamorous TV hostess spirals into a classic whodunit involving ransom, murder, and some of the shadiest showbiz operators of 1950s New York. The episode blends crime procedural, hardboiled humor, and old-time radio charm.

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Key Discussion Points & Plot Progression

Rocky’s Strange New Job

• Rocky Fortune (Frank Sinatra) narrates how he ends up as the "companion" to a chimpanzee TV star (01:04–04:26)
  • Rocky: "Ever have somebody try to make a monkey out of you? I did. Not that I minded so much. Until I found out that it was a dead monkey." (01:04)
• Marty Bunsen, a shady promoter, hires Rocky for $60 a week (minus 10%) to look after the chimp, Senator Godfrey Jiggs (03:20–03:53)
  • Marty: "Okay, Fortune, you're hired. Sixty a week less 10% to me for getting you the job."
• Rocky meets Mindy Lane, the tall, glamorous TV hostess, and the chimpanzee "senator" (04:00–05:17)
  • The job: Pick up the chimp, get him to the studio, and bring him home.

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Crime Hits: The Chimp is Snatched

• Upon arriving at Mindy’s apartment, Rocky is ambushed by a man and a tough woman, who knock him out and kidnap the chimpanzee (06:21–07:12)
  • Rocky: "Would you mind taking the howitzer out of my spine?" (06:24)
• Police Sergeant Hamilton J. Finger appears to investigate (07:12–09:38)
  • Sergeant Finger: "Take it easy, Fortune, take it easy."
• The kidnappers demand a $5,000 ransom via ransom note (07:37–07:49)
• The group begins to suspect an inside job—Marty Bunsen expresses suspicion toward Rocky
  • Marty: "Oh, it could be an inside job. Mr. Fortune here might have arranged with the crook." (08:28)

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Suspicions, Publicity—and a Murder

• On the radio, the kidnapping becomes a media circus, with Bunsen pushing the story for publicity (09:01–09:38)
  • Radio Announcer: "What could have been a disaster for the show has been turned into a terrific publicity stunt by ace tub thumper Marty Bunsen."
• Rocky confronts Marty Bunsen, suspecting him of being behind the scam (10:04–10:40)
  • Rocky finds the missing chimp asleep in Bunsen's bed; Bunsen confesses to faking the kidnapping as a stunt (10:47–11:12)
  • Rocky: "I want to know how come you got Lane's pet monkey sleeping in your bed like he was a crown prince." (10:47)
• Before they can resolve the situation, someone knocks Rocky out again.
• Marty Bunsen is discovered murdered—stabbed in the living room (12:11–12:47)
  • Sergeant Finger: "Because Marty Bunsen is laying on his back in the living room with a knife in his throat." (12:33)
• Rocky becomes the prime suspect.

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The Hunt for the Real Criminal

• Rocky visits Mindy Lane to check her story; she confesses to planning the publicity stunt but panics and ran after finding Bunsen dead (13:54–14:52)
  • Mindy: "Marty and I cooked up this whole monkey business as a publicity deal. Now, how could I explain that to the police?"
• Ransom demand increases to $15,000 (15:05–15:18)
  • Anonymous Caller: "If you want the monkey back, the price is now 15,000. You got three days to raise the dough." (15:08)
• Rocky suspects "Harry" (a heavytype TV actor) and his accomplice Lily (15:33–16:43)
  • He tracks Lily down, who claims innocence, saying the snatch was just for publicity (16:43–17:48)
  • Lily: "We left the monkey with Marty. Why, I didn't even know he was hurt."
• Rocky trails Harry, finding him with a "baby" (the drugged chimp) in a carriage—leading to a confrontation (17:48–18:56)
  • Rocky knocks Harry out and escapes with the chimp, only to be caught at gunpoint again.

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The Final Showdown and Resolution

• Harry intends to frame Rocky for Bunsen's murder but is intercepted by Sergeant Finger and Mindy Lane. Lily has confessed (20:02–21:18)
  • Harry: "You're gonna be found on your face with a handkerchief that wiped the knife in your pocket."
• As the dust settles, it’s revealed the kidnapping became actual criminal intent after the fake snatch.
• Godfrey the chimp briefly goes missing but is finally found—hanging from a lamppost by a kindly old drunk (22:05–22:05)
  • Old Man: "If you're looking for your little boy, he's up there hanging from the lamp post." (22:05)
• Rocky and Mindy share a relieved moment as the police take Harry away, clearing Rocky.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Rocky Fortune: "Ever have somebody try to make a monkey out of you? I did. Not that I minded so much. Until I found out that it was a dead monkey." (01:04)
• On first meeting Mindy Lane:
  • "You wouldn't be the party that's looking for a companion, would you, honey?" (01:35)
  • Mindy: "Not at the moment, Mr. Fortune." (01:39)
• Rocky after being slugged:
  • "What hit me, a local or an express?" (07:14)
• Rocky realizing Bunsen’s plot:
  • "Suppose we phone the little girl right now and find out." (11:16)
• Police sergeant’s skepticism:
  • "That story is full of holes." (12:58)
• Rocky’s wisecracks, even in danger:
  • "I never figured myself for a guy who'll die pushing a baby carriage with a monkey in it. But here I am." (20:19)
• Elderly drunk to Rocky:
  • "If you're looking for your little boy, he's up there hanging from the lamp post." (22:05)

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Timestamps of Key Segments

• [01:04] – Rocky introduces the bizarre case
• [03:20] – Rocky gets hired (and meets Mindy & the chimp)
• [06:21] – Ambushed and the chimp is kidnapped
• [07:12] – Police arrive, ransom note found
• [09:01] – Publicity stunts and suspicions
• [10:40] – Rocky finds the "kidnapped" chimp at Bunsen’s apartment
• [12:33] – Bunsen’s murder discovered
• [14:52] – Mindy admits to the publicity plan
• [15:08] – Second ransom call
• [16:43] – Rocky confronts Lily
• [18:23] – Rocky intercepts Harry with the carriage
• [20:35] – Showdown in the alley; Rocky nearly framed
• [22:05] – Chimp found hanging from a lamppost

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Conclusion

This episode is a delightful blend of slapstick, hardboiled detective humor, and classic radio drama intrigue. Sinatra’s Rocky Fortune is as resilient and quick-witted as ever, facing off with both gangsters and a cityful of eccentric showbiz types. The plot twists—from the staged kidnapping to actual criminality and murder—keep the suspense high while the wisecracks and Old Time Radio flair make it charming throughout. The case ends with the villain arrested, the chimp safe, and Rocky back to cracking jokes.

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For fans of classic radio, Sinatra’s keen comic delivery and the pulpy detective plot make this a gold-standard episode of "Rocky Fortune."

Transcript

[A]

Welcome to Choice Classic Radio where we bring to you the greatest old time radio shows like us on Facebook. Subscribe to us on YouTube and thank you for donating at choiceclassicradio.com

[B]

Frank Sinatra transcribed as Rocky Fortune. NBC presents Frank Sinatra starring as that footloose and fancy free young gentleman, Rocky Fortune.

[C]

Hi. Ever have somebody try to make a monkey out of you? I did. Not that I minded so much. Until I found out that it was a dead monkey.

[D]

Talent Unlimited. Sorry, Mr. Bunsen's tied up. Thank you.

[C]

Pardon me.

[D]

Yes?

[C]

I'm looking for a Mr. Martin Bunsen.

[E]

What is it, please?

[C]

Well, the employment agency sent me over. My name's Fortune. Rocky Fortune.

[D]

Oh, you're the fellow for the paid companion job.

[C]

Yeah. You wouldn't be the party that's looking for a companion, would you, honey?

[E]

Not at the moment, Mr. Fortune.

[D]

Go right in.

[C]

Thanks. Keep your switchboard open, I'll be back. I elbow my way into Marty Brunson's office, which is a cheap smoke filled bin with furnishings by the Collier Brothers. Behind a stack of papers with a telephone on each ear is Marty Bunsen, a sharp looking dark haired character combination publicity man, talent agent, promoter and tout. On the leather sofa sits a long legged blonde about 6ft tall. Takes a few seconds for me to cover all that ground, even with my 2020 vision, but it's time well spent. Secretary said I could come in.

[E]

Sit down. Marty will be through in a minute.

[C]

Thanks.

[F]

What? Yeah, yeah. Okay. Okay, Harry, it's a deal. Hang on a second. Hey, come in, sit down. Hey, you're looking great. Hold on. Harry. Mindy lane, this is Mr. Fortune.

[C]

Rocky Fortune.

[E]

Nice to meet you.

[C]

Likewise.

[F]

Excuse me a second, Harry. Now listen, about the publicity on the guy from Mars picture. I'm working on the Chamber of Commerce for a full dress Martian day in Central park. We stage an invasion with midget. See? Maybe we can get Orson to mc. Okay, Harry, if the price is right, you go ahead with that other matter. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. So long. Well, you're looking great, Fortune. Put on a little weight, huh? Now let me see. You're here about a job. A what?

[C]

A job.

[F]

Yeah. Well, it's been nice meeting you. Keep in touch with the office, huh? First thing, it breaks, I give you my solemn pledge.

[C]

I'm not a performer, Mr. Bunsen. The employment agency sent me.

[F]

Oh, oh, that job. Well, why didn't you say so? What do you think, Mindy?

[E]

He's cute.

[G]

You got eyes.

[F]

Okay, fortune, you're hired. 60 a week less 10% to me for getting you the job.

[C]

Huh? Who's my employer?

[F]

Me. Take it or leave it.

[C]

I'd like to leave it, but I'll take it.

[F]

Okay. Report to the television studio tonight at 6:30.

[C]

What studio?

[F]

Ms. Lane's, of course.

[C]

Oh, I get it. You're the Mindy Lane who's got the TV show every night.

[E]

Star of tv, video and television. You ever watch the show?

[C]

Well, my son ain't working. In fact, I don't have a set.

[F]

Now, be on time.

[C]

Do you mind if I ask you what my job is?

[F]

Didn't the agency explain you're a paid companion to Miss Lane to the senator.

[C]

Which one?

[F]

Oh, this boy's pretty square. He's almost a cube.

[E]

He hasn't seen the show, Marty.

[C]

Just a minute.

[F]

I'll get the senator. Where is he?

[E]

He's asleep in the closet.

[F]

Oh, excuse me, Senator. Hey, Godfrey. Come on out. Mr. Fortune, this is Senator G. Godfrey Jigs. Senator, meet Rocky Fortune.

[C]

Senator G. Godfrey Jiggs turns out to be the biggest chimpanzee I ever saw in my life. Suddenly I remember that this oversized anthropoid is the star of Mindy Lane's daily TV show, and I have signed on as his valet. Godfrey removes his miniature homburg and comes over to me for a quick sniff. Before I know it, he's greeting me like a long lost relative. All right. Down, son. Here, down. Oh. Oh.

[E]

Don't fight him, Rocky. He likes you.

[C]

Easy, boy. Here, stop.

[D]

Come here, Godfrey.

[E]

Come on. That's a good fella. Aw, isn't he sweet?

[C]

If you like apes. What do I have to do for this character?

[F]

Just pick him up at Mindy's apartment every night and make sure he gets the studio on time. Then you take him home. It's only a couple hours work a night.

[C]

Where do I start?

[F]

Right now. Here's his collar and his leash. Take him up to Ms. Lane's apartment on Fifth Avenue. Here's the address. She'll meet you there in half an hour.

[C]

Will he come with me?

[E]

Oh, he's very affectionate. He likes you.

[C]

Oh, sure. Okay.

[F]

Oh, and Fortune.

[C]

Yeah?

[F]

Be careful with him. He's worth about a half a million dollars.

[C]

Oops. I leash the chimp and we make it down to the sidewalk where I flag a hack. There is something definitely crazy about this job. But the hours are good and the pay is okay, so who am I to complain? Why 245 Fifth Ave. Now, sit back, Godfrey.

[H]

Hey, who's your friend?

[C]

TV actor.

[H]

Hey, that's the monkey I seen on Mindy Lane's program, ain't it?

[G]

Uh huh.

[H]

Well what do you know? Are you his trainer?

[C]

I'm his father. Now, how about watching the road for a change?

[H]

Look, you 10 of your job, I'll 10 of mine.

[C]

The hack drops me off at Mindy's apartment and the doorman shows me which way to go. I get the key in the door and open it. Mindy's got guests and they ain't very polite.

[I]

Okay, shut the door.

[C]

Sure, anything you say. Would you mind taking the howitzer out of my spine?

[I]

Back against the wall.

[C]

All right. Okay.

[I]

Lily?

[E]

Yeah?

[I]

Take care of him.

[D]

Okay, Harry. Now just breathe deep, honey. This ain't gonna hurt one bit.

[I]

Not the guy, idiot, the monkey.

[D]

Oh.

[C]

Second I put my hands down, I'm getting a little tired.

[I]

He's tired, you're tired.

[C]

Yeah.

[I]

Okay, take a rest.

[C]

Harry drops the barrel of his cannon across my head bone and I spend the next 20 minutes pounding my ear on the broad one. When I come to, there's a sweetest smell in the room like a hospital. Through the haze I can make out the puss of my very good friend Hamilton J. Finger, sergeant of the gendarmerie.

[G]

Take it easy, Fortune, take it easy.

[C]

Oh, they forgot to lower the gates. What gates? At the railroad cross. What hit me, a local or an express?

[G]

You were sapped.

[E]

Where's Godfrey?

[F]

Godfrey the monkey.

[C]

The. Wait a minute. Now I'm beginning to remember. I walk in as a mug with a.45 and a tough looking babe. They clout me and that's all I remember.

[E]

Marty.

[F]

What?

[E]

Look on my dresser. It's not.

[G]

Yeah, let's have a look at that. Here, Officer, if you want the chimp, it'll cost you five grand. Don't call us, we'll call you. Hey, looks like the AP has had the snatch put on him.

[F]

What do you know?

[G]

Did you get a good look at

[C]

the guy who slugged your Fortune? The guy was about 8ft high with hands like malls. The woman was a little on the tired side, if you know what I mean. A lot of mileage.

[G]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, we'll send out an alarm.

[E]

Well, you've got to get him back, officer. He's the star of my program.

[G]

We'll do our best, lady.

[F]

Hey, you know, something just occurred to me.

[I]

Yeah?

[F]

How did those people get in here? Ms. Lane had a new lock put on that door only yesterday.

[G]

Who has a key?

[F]

Just Ms. Elaine and Mr. Fortune.

[C]

Here, just a second, Uncle. Back up.

[F]

Oh, well, it is peculiar, you must admit.

[G]

What about that rock?

[C]

Sure, I arranged the whole thing. I snatched the ape and then with a quick twist of the wrist, I slugged myself in the back of the head. And while I was unconscious.

[G]

Okay, okay, knock off.

[F]

Oh, it could be an inside job Mr. Fortune here might have arranged with the crook.

[C]

You want to get belted?

[F]

I'll listen.

[C]

You hold it.

[J]

Hold it.

[G]

Shut up, the boat of yous. I'll send out an alarm. Meanwhile, nobody leave town, you understand?

[F]

Before you go, I'd like to say a word to Mr. Fortune.

[C]

This will be clever.

[F]

You're fired.

[C]

Thanks. I stagger back to my flat and fall into the sack with the radio playing soft music. Just as I'm starting to dream about Mindy Lane, something brings me out of the clouds.

[J]

And now for five minutes of news. Well, every TV set in the nation will be focused on Mindy Lane's cocktail hour tonight, when the glamorous mistress of ceremonies makes a nationwide appeal to the kidnappers of her co star, Senator G. Godfrey Jiggs, to return the Simeon snatched victim to Mama. What could have been a disaster for the show has been turned into a terrific publicity stunt by ace tub thumper Marty Bunsen. Says Mr. Bunsen, quote, the evil scarfaced man and the strange woman who overpowered her keeper and kidnapped G. Godfrey Jakes will be brought to justice. Ms. Lane appeals to them to treat the animal decently. He must be fed only special foods, and he will not eat from the hands of someone he doesn't like. We appeal in the name of Keeper.

[C]

He calls me. I shut off the radio, and it suddenly dawns on me that my former employer, Mr. Bunsen, was talking to a guy named Harry when I first walked into his office and a guy named Harry slugged me in Mindy lane's apartment. Also, Mr. Bunsen is making too much hay out of this monkey snatch. I decide to pay him a visit in his apartment. The phone book is a name and bold face type an inch high.

[F]

Well, what do you want?

[C]

You owe me a half a day's pay, not counting the time I spend on my face in Mindy Lane's apartment.

[F]

Come to my office tomorrow.

[C]

I need the cash.

[F]

How dare you barge in here?

[C]

Get the dough, pal. I'll wait. Now, let's get the dough, buddy.

[F]

All right. Stay here.

[C]

Sure. I got all night. Well, he goes into the back of the apartment. I take a quick look around. The living room shows nothing. And I decide to follow Mr. Bunsen into the bedroom at the rear of the setup. I tiptoe along the hall and manage a quick peek through the keyhole. What I see is enough to make me open the door in a hurry.

[F]

Now get out of here. Well, well, you miserable sneak.

[C]

If I hadn't seen it with my own eyes. What a tender.

[F]

What do you want, Fortune?

[C]

I want to know how come you got Lane's pet monkey sleeping in your bed like he was a crown prince.

[F]

Well, it's. It's all a publicity stunt. I cooked the whole thing up with Mindy. You know, chimp gets kidnapped, TV star desolate. Uh huh. Look, I'll pay you. Well, I'll give you $100.

[C]

I got a lump in my head where Harry dropped the hardware.

[F]

All right, 150.

[C]

You know something, Marty? It just occurred to me that maybe this is a publicity stunt. And then again, maybe Mindy Lane isn't even in on it.

[F]

What do you mean?

[C]

I don't think you're above clipping your own client for five grand.

[F]

Oh, now, don't be ridiculous.

[C]

Suppose we phone the little girl right now and find out.

[F]

All right, all right, she needs a phone. She's on her way up now.

[C]

Swell. I'll wait. There.

[F]

That must be Mindy now.

[C]

Wonder what kept her. You get it. I'll stay here and keep an eye on the answer point. Monty Bunsen goes to the other end of the apartment to answer the door, and I wait inside the bedroom. I hear the door open, but nobody comes in. I wait a couple of minutes long and decide to take a look. I exit from the bedroom just in time to get it again. Same spot. All right, Sleeping Beauty.

[G]

Come on, snap out of it.

[C]

Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on. On your feet.

[F]

Yeah.

[C]

Did you get the license number?

[G]

Very funny.

[C]

You know, the top of my head is beginning to feel like the anzio beach at H&1.

[G]

Suppose you got a good alibi cooked up this time?

[C]

Same as before. I reached around and hit myself with a crooked sledgehammer. Hey, the monkey's gone.

[F]

Ah.

[C]

Bunsen did it. He waited behind the door and socked me. He's the one snatched the ape for the show. Serge.

[G]

Now that's almost as good as your alibi rock. Only it won't wash. Why not? Because Marty Bunsen is laying on his back in the living room with a knife in his throat.

[C]

I am in trouble. Marty Bunsen is spread out in the living room like an hors d' oeuvre with a toothpick in the middle. And my friend Sergeant Finger thinks I had something to do with it. I Try to explain about my visit, but the sergeant can't see it my way.

[G]

It's no use, Rocky. That story is full of holes.

[C]

So is your head. I'm telling you, it was a publicity gag. He was expecting Mindy Lane just before he got killed and the buzzer rang.

[G]

Rocky. You know, let's go down to the clubhouse and talk this over with the lights on, huh, Sergeant?

[C]

You ain't gonna pin this on me. I didn't do it.

[G]

Maybe I ain't gonna pin it on you, Rock, but it won't be because I didn't try.

[C]

Now, come on. Okay, but before you go. Yeah, you're leading with your chin. I'll see you later. I figure I'm cooked anyway. I may as well try to catch the killer before they have me served. Next stop is Mindy Lane's Mink Line cave on Park Avenue.

[E]

What's Rocky.

[C]

Mind if I come in?

[E]

I don't seem to have any choice. What brings you? Is there any news about Godfrey?

[C]

As a matter of fact, there is.

[E]

They found the kidnappers.

[C]

Sit down, baby. This may come as a shock to you.

[E]

He isn't dead, is he? Who, Godfrey?

[C]

No, Godfrey's all right, but his man Bunsen ain't doing very well.

[E]

Marty. Why, what's wrong?

[C]

Mindy?

[E]

Yes?

[C]

Now, cut out the baloney, baby.

[E]

What do you mean?

[C]

I mean that you know as well as I do that Marty Bunsen is dead because you left him with a knife in his throat.

[E]

No, no, I.

[C]

You did go to see him about an hour ago.

[E]

Well, I.

[C]

Come on, honey. I was in the other room.

[E]

Well, then. Then you must have killed him.

[C]

Don't be silly. I was in Never Never Land. Whoever stabbed Marty also conked me. That wouldn't be you, would it?

[E]

No, honest.

[C]

Let's have your version. You did go to his apartment, right?

[E]

Yes, I. I did go to Marty's apartment. The door was unlocked. When he didn't answer, I walked in. I saw him lying on the floor, and I got panicky and ran. Marty and I cooked up this whole monkey business as a publicity deal. Now, how could I explain that to the police?

[C]

Who do you think killed him?

[E]

I don't know.

[C]

Mindy, honey, one of us is in trouble. And as much as I like you, I'd rather it was you.

[E]

But I swear I didn't do it. I. Who can that be?

[C]

Let's answer it and find out. Hello?

[I]

If you want the monkey back, the price is now 15,000. You got three days to raise the dough. We'll call you again.

[C]

I must have a lot of dimes.

[E]

Who was it?

[C]

The party who killed Marty Bunsen, slugged me and stole the monkey. What? Now all we got to do is find him before he finds us.

[E]

Maybe we better call the police.

[C]

Oh, sure, sure. Look, you stick right here. They'll call back with instructions.

[E]

Well, where are you going?

[C]

I don't know, but. Hey, wait a minute, Mindy. When you and Marty Bunsen cook up this publicity gag, you hired a couple of hoods to do the snatch, right?

[E]

Well, Marty hired them, not me.

[C]

You know they were.

[E]

I'm afraid not.

[C]

There was a big guy named Harry and a woman named Lily. Marty ever mentioned them to you? Harry?

[E]

No. The only Harry he ever mentioned is a. He's a television actor. Harry Peterson. Marty represents him.

[C]

Harry Peterson? What kind of parts does he play?

[E]

Mostly menaces and heavies.

[C]

Well, it's an awful long shot, but maybe it's worth a try.

[E]

What is it?

[C]

It just occurred to me that Marty might have hired an actor to snatch the monkey. And that the snatch might have given the actor some ideas.

[E]

Like what?

[C]

Like going into business for himself. I'll see you later, Bab. I make a fast call to the talent registry and find out that I can reach Harry Peterson at his flat in Greenwich Village. I subway down and find the number. It's after midnight and the house is a five story movie set from a Humphrey Bogart picture. The mailbox says 5th Floor and I start up.

[D]

Yes?

[C]

Remember me? Oh. Mind if I come in? Thanks. Shut the door. Where's the ham?

[E]

Ham?

[C]

Harry the Menace.

[D]

He's out walking the baby.

[C]

At 10 minutes past midnight, the baby couldn't sleep.

[D]

Sometimes fresh air helps.

[C]

I'll wait.

[D]

Look, Mr. Fortune, what we did wasn't very nice, but we needed the money.

[C]

Nice lady. I've been sapped until my hair hurts.

[D]

Harry hasn't been working much and when Marty Bunsen offered him a hundred dollars to stage that monkey business, he told took it.

[C]

He overacts, doesn't he? Look at his lump in my head.

[D]

Well, he got scared you'd yell for the police.

[C]

That doesn't explain why he stuck a knife in Marty Bunsen and took the chimp away again.

[D]

What?

[C]

You heard me good.

[D]

Mr. Fortune, you're mistaken. We left the monkey with Marty. Why, I didn't even know he was hurt.

[C]

Not hurt, lady, dead.

[D]

Oh, I swear we don't know anything about that. Mr. Fortune, I give you my word.

[C]

I don't know if you're acting or not, honey, but I'll Buy your story until the morning.

[D]

You're going?

[C]

For the moment. Give my regards to Barrymore. Tell him I owe him a knock on the head. This chick is no Eleanor a doozer, and I can see through a phony act like a cellophane bag. I make like I'm leaving the premises, but I turn up my column and dip into a dark alley to wait for Harry boy. After a couple of minutes, he comes wheeling along with the baby carriage in front of him, and I don't need a crystal ball to guess what's inside. Hey, Jackson. Huh? Hold it a minute, will you?

[I]

What do you want in there?

[C]

In case you ever want to rock your baby to sleep, here's a rock. Hairbreadth. Harry drops like a Poldox, and two minutes later I'm making like Hamiltonian down the avenue toward Washington Square where the baby carriage hitched behind me. After a couple of minutes, I pull up lame and flop down on a bench in the park with some oxygen. The monkey's fast asleep in the carriage. Drugged, I figure. Oh, boy. Let's take five. Uh. Oh.

[H]

Hey, mister, do you mind if I sit down?

[C]

Oh, sure, Help yourself, Sal.

[H]

Oh, I got a Bromo.

[C]

Never touch it.

[H]

Oh, baby.

[F]

Yours?

[C]

I'm minding it for a friend of mine.

[H]

Congratulations.

[C]

Thanks.

[H]

Hey, do you mind if I take a look?

[C]

Easy, dad.

[H]

Oh, that's a nice little. Little bitty.

[C]

Steady, boy.

[H]

You pardon me.

[C]

Hey, Pop, you forgot your bottle of tiger sweat.

[H]

Well, keep it. I think I've had enough.

[C]

You can chalk one up for the temperance league. Come on, Junior. We better get out of here before Harry the horse shows up. Walk up.

[F]

Huh?

[C]

Let's go, kid.

[I]

Hold it, Fortune.

[C]

Well, speak of the devil.

[I]

Get him up.

[C]

Anything you say.

[I]

Let's walk.

[C]

Any place in particular?

[I]

Home. James. And one peep and I'll ventilate your spine.

[C]

You're driving.

[I]

Move.

[C]

You can't get away with it, Harry. Even if you get the 15 grand for the monkey, they'll catch you for Marty Benson's murder sooner or later.

[I]

Not me, Jack.

[G]

You.

[C]

I don't dig it.

[I]

You're gonna be found on your face with a handkerchief that wiped the knife in your pocket. It still has Marty's blood on it.

[C]

That ought to be very convincing.

[I]

Keep walking.

[C]

My feet hurt.

[I]

In a couple of minutes, you can get off of him for good.

[C]

I never figured myself for a guy who'll die pushing a baby carriage with a monkey in it. But here I am. I slogged down the avenue with Harry's.45, caressing my sacroiliac. Trying to figure a way out. The street's deserted. We reach the alleyway alongside the house.

[I]

Okay, Funk. Leave the baby carriage here.

[C]

Okay.

[I]

Turn around.

[C]

All right. All right.

[I]

Walk down the alley. You won't feel a thing. I'll give it to you on the fifth step.

[C]

Move. My legs won't work.

[I]

Walk another step. Three more steps.

[C]

Giant steps or baby steps?

[I]

Go on.

[C]

Look, couldn't we talk this over?

[I]

Okay, punk. That's far enough. So long.

[F]

Oh.

[C]

Oh, my arms. You killed me. I'm bleeding.

[G]

You'll be bleeding worse if you try to get away.

[E]

Are you all right?

[C]

Let me get out in the light and I'll check for the leaks.

[D]

Phew.

[E]

For a minute I was afraid.

[H]

That lady.

[C]

I've been afraid for 30 years. But this tops at all. What brought you?

[G]

The lady here called the cops. We traced you to Peterson's apartment and his wife broke down and talked. I figured we'd lay for Peterson downstairs.

[C]

You know, he killed Marty Bunsen so he could get the monkey.

[G]

His missus spilled the whole thing. If you two are okay, I'll take this boiled ham down to headquarters. Let's go. Harry.

[E]

Rocky.

[C]

Uh huh.

[E]

Where's Godfrey?

[C]

Probably stopped in the baby carriage. I think they drugged him.

[E]

The carriage is empty.

[C]

What? Let me look. Holy smokes. A chimp was in there a minute ago. Where could he be?

[E]

Here comes a man. Let's ask him if he's seen Godfrey.

[C]

Okay. Hey, Mac.

[H]

You was addressing me.

[C]

Oh, we're not gonna get any place.

[H]

Hey, you're the fellow of the baby.

[C]

That's right, Dad.

[H]

I got news for you.

[C]

What's that, dad?

[H]

If you're looking for your little boy, he's up there hanging from the lamp post.

[B]

NBC has presented Frank Sinatra as that footloose and fancy free young gentleman, Rocky Fortune. Others in the cast included Gene Bates, Alice Backus, Jerry Hausner, Herb Vigren, Nestor Paiva, Gloria Ann Simpson and Bonnie Phillips. Tonight's script was written by George Lefferts. Andrew C. Love directed. Eddie King speaking. Now, to tell you about next week's adventure, here's Frank Sinatra as Rocky Fortune.

[C]

Did I ever tell you about the time I got mixed up in the plot to murder Santa Claus? Well, sir, there I was just hanging my Christmas stocking when the police decided they'd like to hang me. I'll tell you about it next week. Yeah, see you around.

[B]

What do you buy when you buy Christmas seals? Well, here's how Christmas seals helped one person. Bruce Malone was as healthy looking as any man on the block. Worked for a contractor. Operated one of those air hammers that dig up concrete. One day, Bruce saw a mobile chest X ray unit in his neighborhood. He stopped in, was free. Only took a minute. After all, he bought Christmas seals every year. A week later, he got a call from his doctor. He learned that he had tb. Tuberculosis. Because Bruce discovered TB in the beginning, when it's easiest to cure. He'll be home from the TB hospital soon. While he's away, Bruce is learning a new trade. Less strenuous, to complete his rehabilitation. Christmas seals help to make all of this possible. That's what you buy when you buy Christmas seals protection for yourself, your family, your community. So if you haven't answered your Christmas seal letter, won't you do it today? Visit with Fiber McGee and Molly tonight on the NBC Radio Network.