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Welcome to Choice Classic Radio where we bring to you the greatest old time radio shows like us on Facebook, subscribe to us on YouTube and thank you for donating at choiceclassicradio.com Frank Sinatra transcribed as Rocky Fortune. Frank Sinatra, who stars as that footloose and frequently unemployed young gentleman, Rocky Fortune. Hi. I don't know what it is about me and employment. We start out together, but sooner or later we reach the fork in the road. Usually sooner you take. Last week the employment agency sent me out on a job as an oyster shucker. But somebody tried to serve me up on a half shell with a real crazy cocktail sauce. Blood. Pardon me, is this the fifth?
B
Yes. Is there something I can do for you?
A
That's the best offer I've had all day.
B
We'll have a table in a minute. Would you care to look at the menu?
A
What's the menu got that you haven't got, baby?
B
A price list. If you'll excuse me, I'm busy.
A
Now, wait a minute. Don't get sore. I work here. I'm the new oyster shucker. I'm Rocky Fortune.
B
You'd better go around to the kitchen, Mr. Fortune.
A
Just call me Rocky, huh? And I'll call you two or three times a day.
B
Don't bother.
A
Why not?
B
For one thing, I've got a boyfriend.
A
Now, why would we let a little thing like that come between us?
B
Maybe because he's standing right behind you.
A
Oops. He isn't exactly standing behind me. It's more like all around me. This joke is 6 foot 4, 200 pounds on the hoof and broad enough to go through the middle of a revolving door. And I can't figure a gorilla like this with this girl. She's a real sweet little girl, like somebody's kid sister. Only she's wearing a knit dress. She's got a figure that's giving the warp and the woof a hard time. I get a glimmer when she introduces me to the bruiser.
B
Mr. Fortune, this is Mr. Barney. He's the manager.
A
All right, Fortune, get back to the kitchen. I'll give you a personal introduction to a barrel of oysters. This way, Mr. Fortune. Yeah. Stay away from Iris. Who says so? I say so. Here's your counter shell's in a garbage can. And this is the oyster knife. Right. And just so as we don't misunderstand each other, I'm very serious about Iris. Very serious. Hey, look out with that knife. You understand, Fortune? I got an inkling. Now get the work and shuck them Oysters. It takes me a few minutes to pull the dull bladed oyster knife 2 inches out of the table where big Barney has buried it. About this time, Ferdinand the waiter drifts in the door. Ferdy's a little wispy guy who looks like the mechanical rabbit the greyhounds chase at the dog track.
B
A dozen cherry stones. Hey, who are you?
A
Rocky Fortune. I'm the new oyster shucker.
B
What happened to Herman?
A
Maybe he got washed out with the tide. Hey, pal, why don't I get something to eat here?
B
Didn't you get some supper?
A
No.
B
That Barney. No consideration. Look, I'll fix you something.
A
I've been looking at the menu. How about the swordfish? No. To my best friend, I wouldn't recommend the swordfish. Not tonight.
B
Yes, sir.
A
Mr. Abenaki's coming in. Excuse me.
B
Hey, Chief, give me two double shrimp cocktails, a crab meat salad, lobster gumbo, a bowl of Boston, a bowl of Manhattan and a bucket of lobsters.
A
What do you got out there, Rotary luncheon? No, just Mr. Abenaki. I take a peek through the kitchen door and Mr. Abenaki is sitting on two chairs at once and is still lapping over on all sides. Barney and Ferdinand are hovering around him like a pair of hummingbirds tying their neck with a navy blimp. I make a resolution to quit eating French fried potatoes and go back to unbuttoning oysters and remove their overcoat. It's lonely work, so I strike up a conversation. There's nobody in the pantry but me and the oyster, so I got no choice. You think you got troubles, hmm? I'm the one that ought to get stewed. You got it soft. You don't have to worry. What happens if your lady friend decides to clam up. All you gotta do is just lay there, that's all. If you want to make an impression on a dame, all you gotta do is whip up a pearl. Holy smokes. A real live pearl. It's a real live pearl sitting in the middle of that oyster, staring up at me with its one beautiful beady eye. I'm figuring on calling Little Arthur the Book to place a fin on the nose of Pearl diver in the 5th of Belmont. When I open the next oyster, so help me. Another pearl. I haven't had a run of luck like this since I busted up the floating crap game in Dockety's Garage. So I leave the stake out and shoot it all. Another oyster, Another pearl. Come on, baby. Papa needs a new necklace. One after another and every little darling loaded. I'm trembling as I hit number 10, 11 and 12. 12 great big fat pearls in my hot little hand. And all mine. Just to make sure I stash him away in my pocket. Quick as Ferdinand, a waiter comes in the door.
B
Two dozen special oysters for Mr. Abenaki.
A
Buddy boy, I never could see nothing special about no oysters. It's like eating a clammy handshake. Get him up and I'll pick him up on the way out. The specials for Mr. Abenaki come out of this barrel.
B
And don't shuck him. He likes them open at the table. He says it improves the flavor.
A
Yes, sir, Sergeant. Unfortunately, Barney has forgotten to tell me this. And I've already separated Mr. Abenaki's special oysters from their shells. Now, to me, the difference between a couple of oysters is something that can only interest another oyster. So I fill up a plate from the regular barrel. This, it turns out, is a mistake. Through the doors I hear Mr. Abenaki sounding off like the bullhorn on a big mole. And Ferdinand comes flying back like a scared pigeon.
B
What happened? What happened to the special oysters?
A
Who is responsible for this?
B
Please, Mr. Abenaki.
A
I paid for special oysters shipped in just for me. And what get call these oysters? These miserable scrawny blobs. What happened to Mr. Abenaki's oysters? You watch them. Me? What happened to the specials? It was just a little mistake. A mistake? A mistake with my oysters? Please, Mr. Abenaki. Fortune, what happened? I opened them first. Nobody told me any different. You hear that? He opened my oysters. All that flavor gone. Gone forever. What is this, a federal case? You feather headed idiot. Now wait a minute.
B
Customers can hear you.
A
Fortune, you lame brain. You apologize to Mr. Avenue. Okay, okay. To him I'll apologize. But you, you muscle headed bum. Well, you scrawny knucklehead. I ought to pry you apart like a ch. Clam. Why don't you put your money where your mouth is?
B
Mr. Barney, I. I'm sure it was an honest mistake. Why don't you give him another chance?
A
You shut up and keep out of this. Hey, who do you think you're talking to? You ought to wash your mouth out with soap before you talk to a lady. Fortune, you're fired.
B
Oh, no, please, Mr. Barney, you keep out of this.
A
Take him up front and pay him off. Iris fishes me a couple of bucks out of the register and I can see she's a little sorry for me, which makes me feel very pleasant indeed.
B
Here you are, Mr. Fortune. I wish it was more.
A
Oh, well. Easy come, easy go. I just wish I was staying on, though, so I could see you again.
B
It took a lot of courage to stand up to Barney like that.
A
I still have the oyster knife.
B
I wish there was something that I could do.
A
How about splitting a steak with me tonight, huh? After all, I just got fired and I shouldn't be left alone with a knife.
B
Well, I suppose it's all right.
A
Meet you when you get off. Is it a date?
B
All right, Rocky. I'm off at nine.
A
I figure, bounce the nut on my head for the day. 12 pearls and a beautiful girl. This is better than the daily double. It's about 8:45 when I head out the back door. It's a very cozy neighborhood. You could sometimes go as far as a block without stumbling over a drunk or being mugged for a pair of clean socks. So I'm not too surprised when an arm whips around my neck and I cease breathing until further notice. Don't say a word. Who can talk? This ain't no briar pipe sticking in your back. Okay, okay, hand them over. Anything in particular? You know what I'm talking about. Hand a mover. Mac, this may make me seem a little slow, but I haven't got the slightest idea what you're talking about. The pearls, wise guy. The pearls. You got them. Oh, then didn't your mother ever tell you it ain't polite to shortstop. Now pass them over. They're mine. I found them. Okay, okay, hand them over. Over my dead body. That can be arranged. All right, wise guy. I'll give you a quick five to hand them over. 1. Hey, you're kidding, ain't you? 2. Okay, okay, I got him. Right here. Three. Right here. Hey, hey, they're gone. 4. Honest, I put them in his pocket. See? I said four. Look, look, there's a hole in it. Look, I can wiggle my finger through it. 5. If you don't believe me, look for yourself. Yeah, hold still. Ticklish? You're clean. All right. Listen, punk, I'll give you a chance. You got 12 hours to hand those pearls over. But I lost them on it. You lost them? You find them. Remember, 12 hours or we'll fit you for a brand new satin lined overcoat with silver handles. And just to show you we ain't getting. About 20 minutes later the world slows down to a gentle spiral Some other bum has rolled me for 38 cents and change A subway token in my shoes I paddle around to the avenue on my bare feet and I Find Iris Wade in front of a drugstore looking like Hurricane Barbara about to hit the Atlantic coast from Block island to Cape Hatteras.
B
Rocky, this is not the kind of a neighborhood where a girl likes to wait for. What's the matter? You're limping.
A
I stepped on a live cigar butt.
B
Well, you're barefoot. Where are we going? To a square dance.
A
Look, honey, I'm afraid our date's off.
B
Why?
A
I gotta attend a funeral.
B
Whose?
A
Mine.
B
What are you talking about?
A
There seems to be a difference of opinion about some pearls. I told the guy I found them, but he couldn't see it my way.
B
You found some pearls?
A
Yes.
B
Where?
A
Where else? In an oyster. 12 of them.
B
You found 12 pearls in one oyster?
A
No, no. One each in a dozen. How's that for luck?
B
Nobody's that lucky.
A
But now I can't find them. I got a hole in my pocket. I must have dropped them.
B
Oh, that's terrible.
A
You don't know the half of it. The guy who just slugged me gave me 12 hours to cough up the pearls or else a particularly nasty elf.
B
Oh. Oh. Then we've got to start looking for them right now.
A
Right now. I've got to look for some shoes. A guy can get athlete's foot this way. We head back into the 50 fathoms clam house to try to find the pearls. I'm cutting my bare feet to ribbons on broken clamshells. We go through the sawdust in the pantry a spoonful at a time. But we draw a blank. No pearls. Up to now, I've been thinking I'm just lucky. But slowly I realize I've been playing with marked oysters. I figure them pearls must be hot as a tin roof in August.
B
Rocky, what happens if we don't find them? They might kill you.
A
Yeah, I was thinking that was a possibility too.
B
Where else could you have dropped them? Was there anything on the floor? A garbage can or something?
A
Wait a minute. There was that little barrel at Mr. Abenaki's. Oysters came in. It was right by this stool.
B
Maybe the pearls dropped in it.
A
But the barrel's gone too.
B
Of course. They pick it up at night and take it back to the oyster boat.
A
Can you find out which boat?
B
I know. I sign the receipt every day. It's A. It's the Poly B at Pier 22. Rocky, do you think the pearls could still be in the barrel?
A
Well, I got a hasty feeling I'd better find out. Anyway, if Abenaki's oysters came from that boat, then so did the pearls.
B
Rocky, I'm going with you.
A
Now, look, honey, it's going to be dangerous and dark down on that dock.
B
You'll be there.
A
I know. That's what frightens me. Well, come on. Let's head for Pier 22. And if I don't find the pearls, well, at least it's a good place to jump off. I'm still barefoot as we head up the waterfront to Pier 22. But I keep going. I figure it's like a horse. If I pull up lame now, I'm a sense to get shot. Pier 22 looks like the spot where Henry Hudson dropped his anchor on the first trip. There's a crap game going on in the dock office. We wait until somebody makes a four the hard way and slip through in the confusion. The oyster boat is halfway down the pier and we go aboard. Don't trip on them ropes.
B
Isn't that the barrel right there?
A
That's it. That's it. All right. I'll tip it up to the light. Empty as a pocket before payday.
B
Oh, Rocky.
A
I wonder where the elephants go to die.
B
Rocky. Rocky, listen.
A
Yeah, somebody must have broken up the crap game. They're coming this way.
B
What are we going to do?
A
That guy who put the arm on me is with him. You see the guy with no neck? Yeah. Come on. We better hide.
B
Where?
A
Down the hatch behind us.
B
I can't jump down there. Not in this skirt.
A
In it or out of it. Here you go.
B
Oh, it's dark down here.
A
Look out. Here I come. Now, keep quiet, baby, and maybe we'll get out of this thing in one piece. All right, let's get going. Cast off the bow line.
B
What is it? What's happening?
A
Did you bring your toothbrush?
B
A toothbrush? What for?
A
I can only think of one thing to say at this point.
B
What?
A
Bon voyage. Polly Bee is definitely not in the Queen Mary class. It's sort of a cross between an oversized shoebox and the Staten island ferry. It would probably rock like crazy in a bathtub. And by the time we're through the narrows and into the lower bay, Iris has turned a tasteful tone of green which unfortunately clashes with her purple dress.
B
Rocky, I'm afraid I'm going to die.
A
No, you're not.
B
Okay, I'm afraid I'm not going to die.
A
Somebody will hear you.
B
I don't care.
A
There's the boy. Moran. The boy.
B
What? What happened? We're stopping.
A
Maybe we hit a red light. Come on, hurry up.
B
What is it? Oysters?
A
I don't know. I Better boost you up so you can sneak a peek. You ready?
B
Well, it's a barrel, Rocky. They pulled it in with a net. Rocky, it's got a flag on it. Let me down.
A
I got it. Now, just like Prohibition. Someone on an incoming liner dumps the
B
stuff over and this boat picks it up.
A
Yeah, and delivers it to the 50 fathoms. Clam house. What a way to sneak in pearls inside an oyster. And if some jerk opens one by mistake, he just thinks he's lucky. Can you imagine a guy stupid enough to think he'd really find a pearl in a note? You read any good books lately?
B
Rocky, it's. It's a smuggling racket.
A
Maybe you're even smart. That's right. I could kiss you. I have my eyes closed and my mouth puckered when the roof falls in. Then I find myself kissing a 30 pound flounder, which is part of a load of fish dumped in on top of us. We're standing up to the neck and fresh caught. Ocean fish in season. I pick a herring out of my ears and look around for Iris. And once again I get that funny feeling, you know, that yearning to take her out of all of this. The Poly B makes it back to the pier in blue ribbon time. And when the coast is clear, Iris and I climb out of the fish and shake off the scales. I've got a smelt in my pocket and a certain air about me.
B
Ooh, I can't even stand myself.
A
I think it's invigorating.
B
Rocky, you know, it's clear you got the pearls by mistake.
A
Yeah, those oysters were meant for Mr. Abenaki. They're delivered specially for him.
B
It must be Rocky.
A
So what do we do now, honey? As much as I hate disturbing a man at his meal, Mr. Abenaki leaves me no choice. He eats all day. However, there's a limit to how long a dame can wander through town with seaweed in her hair and a strong suspicion that barnacles have set in. So Iris heads up to her apartment to change. I figure I might as well head over to the Clam House and do a little digging on my own. Tis midnight now, and Ferdinand's in the kitchen when I get there.
B
Say, what happened? You jump off the ferry?
A
Never mind. Listen, is Abenaki's still got his nose in the feed bag.
B
He's on his demitasse.
A
Demitasse?
B
Yes. He has to watch his weight.
A
Look, Ferdinand, about those special oysters. Mr. Abenaki never has them open in the kitchen, right? Right. He's A very particular man.
B
He wants to make sure all the flavor's locked in.
A
I'll bet he does. Fred, man, this may come as a shock to you, but Something tells me Mr. Abenaki is playing puss in the corner with the United States customers. Not to mention the cops from the country where the stuff was originally heisted. The stuff? The pearls. I found a dozen of them in his oysters. I can't figure out where they went to, though. You lost them? Yeah, through a hole in my pocket. I was leaning over the counter right here. Now, they could have rolled along, but I. I didn't find them on the floor. They should have dropped right down here, like. Who put that bowl of soup on the stool? I did. That's Mr. Abenaki's oyster stew. I always leave it there till he's ready for it. You do? Yes. Did Mr. Abenaki have oyster stew tonight?
B
Sure.
A
He has a couple of bowls with each meal. Ferdinand, I gotta make some phone calls to the cops for a squad car in the Bellevue Hospital. For a stomach punk? You mean Mr. Abenaki is a smuggler? Somebody around here is, and he looks like it. I'll let the cops nail it down. Well, that's too bad, isn't it? About Abenaki? Why, he deserves what he's got coming to him. Yes, but I'm afraid you don't. Now, please put up your hands, Mr. Fortune. You see, we wouldn't want the police around. The Clam House has to think of its reputation. But your gun is loaded, Barney. Sure, boss. Take this gun and keep him covered. With pleasure. Then it's you. I suppose it is. Barney. Could Captain Duran arrange a special trip on the Poly B. Easy. Well, we'll have to be careful where we drop you. It wouldn't do to spoil the oyster beds.
B
Mr. Abenaki wouldn't like it.
A
Couldn't you just maroon me on a desert island? Please, Mr. Fortune, be practical. Now, we're going out through the kitchen door. Barney, you go first. Sure thing, boss. Coast is clipped.
B
Barney. Barney. What happened?
A
Probably this.
B
Rocky. Rocky, all right?
A
Sure. How's Barney?
B
Oh, he's out cold.
A
What did you hit him with?
B
A frozen flounder.
A
You know. Was Ferdinand all the time the waiter? Sure. He got to the oysters before Abenaki. That reminds me.
B
Where are you going?
A
Call the cops. I got to tend to something. Yeah. Can I help you, Mr. Abenaki? You had an oyster stew earlier this evening. I did? Please pass the ketchup. Look, I don't want to disturb you, but there were a dozen pearls in that stew. Oh, I thought the oysters were somewhat gritty. Now, we've got to get those pearls back, wherever they are. Is that all you've got? Them? I suppose I have. In the midsection, more or less. I'm gonna send for a stomach pump right away. Oh, that won't be necessary. I have them in my vest pocket. Here. Are these the pearls? You mean you didn't eat them? Goodness, no. I almost lost a filling on the first one, though. I thought I was just lucky. You're sure these pearls belong to you? I'm positive, Mr. Abenaki. Well, if they're yours, take them by all means. Oh, and young man. Yeah? Ask somebody to bring me another piece of pie. Somebody else gets the pie. Me. I'm in the mood to relax. The Rover boys are safe in the walking refrigerator. The 12 pearls have come home to papa. And I'm alone with Iris, who's wearing a flannel skirt and a little boy shirt which never looks like that on no little boy. Well, Rocky, honey, I think maybe you saved my life. Would you like to claim a little reward?
B
What kind of reward?
A
Come here. Closer, baby. I've got something for you. Here.
B
The pearl. Well, honey, I've got something for you.
A
Yeah? What?
B
A property receipt from the US Customs Department.
A
You.
B
You. You're a cop. Good night, Rocky.
A
Good night. Frank Sinatra as that footloose and fancy free young man known as Rocky Fortune. Others in the cast included Lynn Allen, Jack Crucian, Jack Nestle, Lou Merrill and William Euler. Andrew C. Love directed. Eddie King speaking. Now, here's Frank Sinatra to tell you about next week's transcribed adventure. Did you ever get up in the morning and find out you were somebody else? The next week I wake up married to a dame and I don't even know her name. I'm living like a maharaja and I'm insured for 100 grand. Double indemnity. Next week, then tune in again when Frank Sinatra returns as Rocky Fortune. This is the united states armed forces radio and television service.
B
Sam.
Podcast: Choice Classic Radio Detectives | Old Time Radio
Air Date: October 6, 1953 (Original) / March 19, 2026 (Podcast Release)
Starring: Frank Sinatra as Rocky Fortune
In this witty and fast-paced episode, footloose adventurer Rocky Fortune, played by Frank Sinatra, lands a job as an oyster shucker at the Fifth Fathoms Clam House. What begins as a routine gig quickly turns into a dangerous caper involving a dozen mysterious pearls, a menacing thug, and a smuggling ring. Packed with classic one-liners, tough-guy banter, and a clever twist, Rocky navigates peril with characteristic charm as he uncovers a criminal operation hidden beneath the restaurant’s salty surface.
The episode is loaded with hardboiled wit, double entendres, and comic timing characteristic of Sinatra’s Rocky Fortune. There’s a playful tension throughout—between danger and wisecrack, suspense and romance, straight crime and slapstick.
This adventure of Rocky Fortune unfolds like a classic screwball noir, replete with jazz-era slang, snappy exchanges, and a twist ending that leaves Rocky humbled and listeners delighted. For fans of detective radio and Sinatra’s easygoing charm, this episode offers both laughs and intrigue in prime Golden Age radio style.