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Joseph Bell
Welcome to Choice Classic Radio where we bring to you the greatest old time radio shows like us on Facebook, subscribe to us on YouTube and thank you for donating@ChoiceClassicRadio.com.
Announcer
Kremell hair tonic and kremel shampoo present the new adventures of sherlock holmes. Starring nigel bruce as Dr. Watson and tom conway as sherlock holmes. Well, here it is Saturday night again. In time for our weekly visit with that excellent host and incomparable storyteller, Dr. Watson. I'm sure he's waiting for us in the old familiar study, so let's waste no time enjoying him.
Dr. Watson
Good evening, Mr. Bell. You're punctual to the minute as usual.
Mr. Bell
You bet I am.
Announcer
When it's time for Dr. Watson to tell a new adventure he had with the immortal Sherlock Holmes, I'm not going to miss a second.
Dr. Watson
Draw up a chair and I'll get on with tonight's new Sherlock Holmes adventure.
Mr. Bell
From the hints you gave us last week, it sounded like quite a story.
Dr. Watson
It was one that I shall never forget. At any rate, for once I played a rather. A rather dashing role in the case. And I have this small gold key on my watch chain to remind me of the fact.
Mr. Bell
A gold key given to you perhaps, by a lady Dr. Watson?
Dr. Watson
It was given me, my boy, by Her Grace, the Dowager Duchess of Penfield.
Mr. Bell
In gratitude for services rendered, I suppose.
Narrator
Oh no, Mr. Bell, not by the
Dr. Watson
wildest stretch of imagination could you say that. Let's say that it's a memento of one of the most unusual experiences that the great Sherlock Holmes and I ever had. I call it the adventure of the elusive Emerald.
Mr. Bell
Sounds intriguing, Dr. Watson. But first of all, do you mind if.
Dr. Watson
If you have a word with our listeners.
Narrator
No, of course not, Mr. Bell.
Mr. Bell
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Dr. Watson
Well, Mr. Bell, the story began on a cold morning more years ago than I care to remember. Holmes and I, our breakfast just concluded, sat on either side of a cheery fire in our Baker street lodgings. A thick fog rolled down between the houses and the windows opposite looked like dark shapeless blurs through the heavy yellow murk.
Mr. Bell
A London pea. Super, eh, Dr. Watson?
Dr. Watson
Yes it was, Mr. Bell. Our gas was lit and shone its flickering light on the white cloth and glimmer of china for the breakfast table had not yet been cleared. Shortly before 11 we heard the old familiar jangle at our front doorbell and a few minutes later Mrs. Hudson ushered into our room Lord Maurice Danby, a middle aged man who seemed to be
Narrator
in a state of great excitement. Mr. Holmes, you must help me.
Sherlock Holmes
I'll do my best, Lord Danby. What's your problem?
Lord Danby
Well, and this is hard to say gentlemen, it's connected with my mother, the Duchess of Penfield.
Dr. Watson
Oh, so you're the Duchess of Penfield, son. That's a charming woman. I met her at a house party at the Smythe Parkinson's in Shropshire a few years ago. At the time she was kind enough to.
Sherlock Holmes
Watson, don't you think your reminiscences might be more appropriate at some other time?
Dr. Watson
Well I was only pointing out.
Narrator
Quite.
Sherlock Holmes
Pray continue, Lord Danby.
Lord Danby
Well, here's the problem in a nutshell. My brother, the present Duke, is with his regiment in India. During his absence all the responsibilities of the Penfield family have fallen on my unhappy shoulders. For a year now I've been driven nearly insane by my nephew Hilary. The boy is 18 and his madcap escapades have caused me many a sleepless night. But now comes the crowning blow. My mother, my own mother has turned thief.
Dr. Watson
Dowager Duchess of Penfield a thief. Oh come, come, come, sir, you must be mistaken.
Lord Danby
Would I make such a shocking statement, Doctor, unless I was sure? I repeat, she's a shoplifter, a pickpocket, a disgrace to our family.
Sherlock Holmes
Since monetary considerations are surely not involved, I can only assume that Her Grace is a victim of that unfortunate affliction known as kleptomania.
Lord Danby
She is, Mr. Holmes. But how can I explain that to shopkeepers, to friends of the family? When mother decides to pocket some Valuable memento of a weekend house party. And though it's petty thefts today, tomorrow it may develop into more serious criminality. Mr. Holmes, you must help me find some way out of this intolerable situation. I'll pay you any fee you name if you can find.
Sherlock Holmes
What on earth's the commotion downstairs?
Dr. Watson
Well, I see. What's wrong, Holmes?
Dowager Duchess of Penfield
Go back to your kitchen. Mind your own business, you stupid woman.
Lord Danby
It's mother, she must have followed me here.
Dr. Watson
Oh, Grace, how delightful to see you again.
Dowager Duchess of Penfield
Again? Who are you?
Dr. Watson
Don't you remember? We met at the Smythe Parkinson's a few years ago.
Dowager Duchess of Penfield
Never saw you before in all my life.
Narrator
It was in Shropshire. Since it was Paul, you know.
Dowager Duchess of Penfield
Rubbish. Rubbish. Get out of my way. Morris.
Sherlock Holmes
Yes, Mama?
Dowager Duchess of Penfield
Get out of here at once. This is a matter for your elders, do you hear me? Get out, you oath.
Sherlock Holmes (disguised)
Yes, Mama.
Dowager Duchess of Penfield
And when you get home, wait in the blue room for me. I shall attend to you later. Yes, Mama.
Sherlock Holmes
Your Grace, I suggest that please keep
Dowager Duchess of Penfield
your suggestions to yourself, young man.
Dr. Watson
Well, really I do.
Dowager Duchess of Penfield
And you'll be quiet too?
Dr. Watson
Well. I beg your pardon, Duchess, I was only good.
Dowager Duchess of Penfield
Can't understand a word you say. Oh really?
Lord Danby
No.
Dowager Duchess of Penfield
Now then, which one of you is Sherlock Holmes?
Sherlock Holmes
I am. And I.
Dowager Duchess of Penfield
How did that idiot son of man come to see you?
Sherlock Holmes
I fear that professional ethics prevent me from professional fiddlesticks.
Dowager Duchess of Penfield
You don't need to hem and haw with me. I suppose Maris told you that I was a kleptomaniac.
Sherlock Holmes
I'm afraid that I can't.
Dowager Duchess of Penfield
Nothing to be afraid of. Oh, either of you care for a pinch of snuff?
Dr. Watson
No, thank you.
Narrator
Thank you very much.
Dr. Watson
My word.
Dowager Duchess of Penfield
Can't understand anyone who doesn't appreciate snuff. That's much better. Now then, listen to me, both of you. This story that my son undoubtedly told you about my being a kleptomaniac is an unadulterated lie. It's all part of my children's plot to get hold of my money. They're always after me for that, especially that grandson of mine. And I'm sure he's inveigled my son Marlas into his schemes and now they're planning to have me declared incompetent.
Narrator
Oh, gracious me, what a shock.
Dowager Duchess of Penfield
I don't need any comments, just listen to me. Sorry, no. How much did Morris offer you as a retainer?
Sherlock Holmes
Mr. Holmes, I'm afraid I'm not at liberty to say anything.
Dowager Duchess of Penfield
I'll double the fee and trouble you both to hear no more of this that's all. Good day to you.
Dr. Watson
I'll see you downstairs, your grace.
Dowager Duchess of Penfield
You needn't bother. I may be your grandmother but I can still walk up and down stairs by myself.
Narrator
Thank you, Holmes.
Dr. Watson
What a magnificent woman.
Sherlock Holmes
Yes, quite remarkable, isn't she?
Dr. Watson
I think she didn't remember meeting me at the Smythe Parkinson's, huh?
Sherlock Holmes
Quite.
Dr. Watson
Luckily we weren't taken in by the Sun's story, wasn't it, Holmes?
Sherlock Holmes
I'm not sure. Watson, you recall that jeweled snuff box I received from this morning's post? It was a token from the King of Morania.
Dr. Watson
Yes, you put it on the mantelpiece.
Narrator
Good lord, it's vanished.
Sherlock Holmes
Precisely. The Dowager Duchess of Penfield is so brilliant at kleptomaniac that she has achieved an unnoticed theft at 221B Baker street
Dr. Watson
well of all the amazing nerve, Watson,
Sherlock Holmes
we've met a worthy antagonist. Come on old chap, grab your hat and coat. I think we'll take the liberty of providing the Duchess with an unobtrusive escort.
Dr. Watson
Oh Lord, Holmes, this is the 12th shop that we've been in. My feet are tired. We've been following the Duchess all day.
Sherlock Holmes
I was anxious to observe her technique.
Dr. Watson
She's obviously had plenty of practice.
Sherlock Holmes
Yes, she's spent about a hundred pounds in this shopping tour so far and yet she succeeded in obtaining some £500 worth of goods. Brilliant work.
Narrator
Look, look, look, Holmes, that small man in the bowler hat stopping her.
Sherlock Holmes (disguised)
The shop detective no doubt.
Sherlock Holmes
Come on Watson.
Shop Detective
I'm sorry ma', am, but there it is.
Dowager Duchess of Penfield
What utter balderdash are you talking?
Shop Detective
I must ask you to come and see the manager.
Sherlock Holmes
Can I be of any assistance, your grace?
Dowager Duchess of Penfield
Huh? Oh, it's Holmes and his friend. Yes, yes, you can tell this idiot to stop bothering me.
Dr. Watson
Well, what seems to be the matter?
Shop Detective
I saw this here lady pick up a silver matchbox and slip it into her handbag.
Dowager Duchess of Penfield
Fiddlesticks. I examined it. Yes, but if it's missing, this man was standing near me. Search him.
Dr. Watson
Search Holmes? But that's ridiculous.
Shop Detective
Of course it is.
Dowager Duchess of Penfield
Ma', am.
Shop Detective
I must ask.
Dowager Duchess of Penfield
I am the Dowager Duchess of Penfield. Now search this man.
Shop Detective
Yes, your grace.
Dowager Duchess of Penfield
Insufferable insolence.
Sherlock Holmes
Your grace, I must ask you.
Shop Detective
You stand here, I'm going to search you.
Sherlock Holmes
This is ridiculous, Michael.
Dr. Watson
Yes, of course it is.
Shop Detective
If you didn't take it, you got nothing to be frightened about then. Hello, hello. What's this in your coat pocket?
Dr. Watson
Great Scott, Holmes, it's a silver matchbox.
Sherlock Holmes
Quite.
Shop Detective
Come on mister, you've got to explain this to the manager.
Shop Manager
Mr. Holmes, I'm very embarrassed that my man brought you here.
Sherlock Holmes
It's quite all right, sir. It was a perfectly understandable mistake.
Dr. Watson
Yes, but you must realize that this unfortunate habit of the Duchess's must be kept a secret.
Shop Manager
Quite so, Dr. Watson.
Sherlock Holmes
And I think the program I've outlined will prove a most satisfactory way of handling any such incidents in the future. You follow my plan quite clearly.
Shop Manager
Oh yes, Mr. Holmes. We'll have our shop detectives watching her whenever she comes in. Anything she doesn't pay for we're charged to her account as though they were purchases.
Sherlock Holmes
Precisely. In that way your shop will sustain no loss and the Penfield family will be spared public scandal. Yes, a very satisfactory arrangement, I think. Come on, Watson.
Lord Danby
Yes, Mr. Holmes, a very satisfactory arrangement. Don't you agree, Hilary?
Hilary
Yes, Uncle. I suppose if we can't stop Granny pinching this stuff at least this will keep it quiet.
Mr. Bell
Hilary.
Sherlock Holmes
All that remains to be done, Lord Danby, is to make similar arrangements at the other shops your mother patronizes.
Dr. Watson
And in that way, sir, all scandal can be avoided.
Lord Danby
Yes, yes, it's an excellent plan, excellent.
Hilary
I only wish that since Granny's so free and easy with other people's stuff she'd loosen up the money bags for me a little. I'm stony broke.
Lord Danby
We won't go into that now, Hilary. Come along my boy. I know Mr. Holmes is a busy man. Good day, gentlemen.
Dr. Watson
Good day.
Lord Danby
I'll be communicating with you, Mr. Holmes.
Sherlock Holmes
Very well, Lord Dambian.
Dr. Watson
Well, I suppose that's the last we'll hear of the duchess's problem.
Sherlock Holmes
I think not, Watson.
Dowager Duchess of Penfield
Huh?
Sherlock Holmes
Just before Lord Danby arrived I was studying the social section of today's times. Look at the item I ringed in blue pencil.
Narrator
The distinguished Polish nobleman, Count Stephen von Kratzoff is holding a reception at his Grosvenor Square house tomorrow afternoon at which time the famous Kratzoff emerald will be displayed.
Sherlock Holmes
Skim through the list of guests, Watson. I think one name will interest you.
Dr. Watson
Colonel and Mrs. Martin. Lord Larry Novick. By george, the Dowager Duchess of Penfield.
Sherlock Holmes
Exactly. And the combination of the finest emerald in Europe and the Duchess of Penfield means that this is one reception we must not miss.
Dowager Duchess of Penfield
Where's your friend Sherlock Holmes?
Dr. Watson
He's over there talking to Count Kratzoff, your grace.
Dowager Duchess of Penfield
You and your friend have been following me since yesterday, haven't you, young lady?
Dr. Watson
Of course not. We wouldn't dream of such a thing.
Dowager Duchess of Penfield
Ah, fiddlesticks. I know you have. Oh, by the Way. You said we had met before somewhere. Where was it?
Dr. Watson
At the Smythe Parkinson's in Shropshire at a fancifruest dance.
Dowager Duchess of Penfield
No, the Parkinson's don't remember you.
Dr. Watson
I was wearing a pharaoh's costume.
Dowager Duchess of Penfield
Oh really? How very original. What was I wearing?
Dr. Watson
Something in blue. Blue velvet, I think it was. You had a white wig, I remember. You looked enchanted.
Dowager Duchess of Penfield
It wasn't a wig, it was my own hair. My own hair's white and it wasn't velvet, it was tulle. And the dress was red, not blue. However, I'm flattered that you remember that. Good night, young man.
Dr. Watson
Good night, Duchess.
Dowager Duchess of Penfield
Oh, good night. Count von Herzog had a very pleasant evening.
Count von Kratzoff
Good night, my dear Duchess. I'm so happy that you honored me with your presence.
Dr. Watson
How long, Gilray?
Sherlock Holmes
Good night, your grace.
Hilary
Oh, thank you so much, Count.
Count von Kratzoff
Good night, young man.
Sherlock Holmes
Good night.
Dr. Watson
A most successful evening, Count von Kurtzoff.
Count von Kratzoff
I am glad that so many distinguished guests were present, Dr. Watson. You were very quiet this evening, Mr. Holmes.
Sherlock Holmes
I was watching, Count. My eyes hardly left the emerald during the entire evening.
Count von Kratzoff
I imagined that you had some professional reason for attending. Yemisi was most insistent that I invite you, but nothing seems to have happened. The gem is still lying in its case on the table there.
Sherlock Holmes
I saw nothing happen. I hope nothing did.
Dr. Watson
What could have happened? There's a stone, safe and sound.
Count von Kratzoff
Please examine it. Mr. Holmes, I know you have quite a reputation as an expert on jewels.
Narrator
What a beautiful gem.
Count von Kratzoff
It is considered one of the finest in Europe by the doctor. Mr. Holmes, what is your opinion?
Sherlock Holmes
That you've been robbed, Count von Kratzoff.
Dr. Watson
Robbed?
Sherlock Holmes
Yes. This is an extremely fine paste replica. The Kratzoff Emerald has been stolen right under my very eyes.
Mr. Bell
In just a moment we will rejoin Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson as they try to solve the mystery of the elusive emerald. Men. It's smart to take care of the hair you've got. And I want to tell you about Kremel Hair Tonic. You see, Kremel is a highly specialized hair tonic. It contains a combination of hair grooming ingredients found in no other hair tonic. That's why it keeps hair neatly in place longer and gives the hair such a natural, well groomed appearance. Never greasy or sticky. But men Cremel does lots more than keep hair looking attractive. A quick massage with Kreml stimulates the circulation of blood right in the surface of the scalp. Notice how alive, how invigorated your scalp feels. And men, you like to rub Kremel on your scalp because it's Such a clean hair tummy never feels greasy or sticky. Its light oils have a fine lubricating effect on a dry scalp too. At the same time it removes loose dandruff. And if your hair is so dry that it breaks and falls, Kremel actually helps condition the hair in that it makes it feel softer, more pliable. So men for a cleaner scalp, for better groomed hair, change to Kremel. K R E M L Kremel Hair Tummy. So, Dr. Watson, the famous emerald had been replaced by a paste replica.
Dr. Watson
Yes, my boy, it had.
Mr. Bell
Well, I don't have to be a Sherlock Holmes to deduce that the Dowager Duchess was the culprit.
Dr. Watson
Elementary, my dear Mr. Bell, elementary. But when the police arrived on the scene, Holmes gave no indication of our obvious suspicion. Later on, when we returned to Baker Street, I don't think either of us were in the least bit surprised to find that Lord Danby was waiting for
Narrator
us in a state of great agitation.
Lord Danby
Mr. Holmes, you've helped me so far. You've got to find some way out of this mess.
Sherlock Holmes
You've spoken to Count von Kratzoff since the last was discovered?
Lord Danby
Yes, he came over to see me while you and the police were still searching the house. We're neighbours, you know.
Dr. Watson
What did he say, sir?
Lord Danby
That for the sum of £20,000 he'd agreed to keep the whole matter quiet. Indeed.
Sherlock Holmes
And why should Count von Kratzoff assume that your mother was responsible for the theft?
Lord Danby
I'm afraid he must have heard rumors of her unfortunate habits.
Dr. Watson
Do you propose to make the settlement, Lord Danvale?
Lord Danby
The estate can't afford it, Doctor. Dear me, what will my brother the Duke say when he returns from India? What am I to do, Mr. Holmes?
Sherlock Holmes
Your problem has many more ramifications than I imagined when you first called on me, Lord Danby. I think if you'll allow me a few hours grace, I can give you a surprisingly satisfactory solution to your dilemma.
Lord Danby
I'll be eternally grateful if you can.
Dr. Watson
How do you propose to do it, Holmes?
Sherlock Holmes
The first step is obvious, to find the jeweler who made the paste replica. Unless I'm much mistaken, there's only one jeweler in London capable of such an exquisite piece of craftsmanship. We shall call on him, Watson. We shall call on him at once.
Mr. Marcus
Yes, Mr. Holmes. I made this replica.
Sherlock Holmes
I thought you were the only man in London capable of such brilliant work. Mr. Marcus.
Mr. Marcus
You are most kind.
Narrator
It was one of a pair of
Mr. Marcus
duplicates that were ordered.
Sherlock Holmes (disguised)
A pair, eh?
Dr. Watson
Yes.
Sherlock Holmes
Now the plot Thickens. Watson.
Dr. Watson
You had no idea that the replicas were ordered with any criminal intent, Mr. Marcus?
Mr. Marcus
Of course not, Dr. Watson. I was told that they were for a collection of replicas of famous stones and I was paid handsomely. 25 guineas apiece for them.
Sherlock Holmes
Yes, a small stake for so large a prize.
Dr. Watson
Could you describe the woman who gave you the order?
Mr. Marcus
Woman, Doctor? It was a man, a young man.
Dr. Watson
A man? But Holmes, she must have an accomplice.
Sherlock Holmes
I think not, Watson. Though the train of thought suggested is certainly an astonishing one. However, our next move should be obvious.
Dr. Watson
Oh, what's that?
Sherlock Holmes
We return to Baker street for certain necessary tools of my trade. And then, my dear fellow, we pay an unannounced visit to the Dowager Duchess and try our hands at a little burglary.
Narrator
Holmes, is that you?
Sherlock Holmes (disguised)
Yes, Watson.
Sherlock Holmes
I hope you're not too cold.
Narrator
Oh, I'm frozen to death, towering here in these bushes under the Duchess's window. You must have been gone for three quarters of an hour at least.
Sherlock Holmes (disguised)
Nevertheless, it was a very profitable excursion.
Narrator
Oh, I'm glad to hear it. For heaven's sake take off that stupid moustache. You look ridiculous.
Sherlock Holmes (disguised)
And yet this stupid moustache inspired great confidence in the second chambermaid.
Sherlock Holmes
Under the impression that I was a
Sherlock Holmes (disguised)
flirtatious plumber with prospects, I. She informed me that the Duchess has a small room leading off the boudoir. A room that none of the staff is allowed to enter.
Narrator
You think that that's where her hoard of stolen goods may be situated?
Sherlock Holmes (disguised)
It's worth trying, old chap. A stout coil of rope attached to the balcony above should enable us to make an unobtrusive entry.
Narrator
Possible. But where do we find a stout coil of rope?
Sherlock Holmes (disguised)
Even a pseudo plumber has his tools. You don't imagine this bag contains a pipe wrench or some such useless appurtenance, do you?
Dowager Duchess of Penfield
Look.
Narrator
Great Scott. A coil of rope.
Sherlock Holmes (disguised)
Exactly. Now let's see how best we may secure it to the balcony above. But we must work quietly Watson. If we are discovered. I'm afraid this is going to be a trifle hard to explain.
Narrator
When I climb up ropes. Holmes, I realize I'm not as young as I used to be.
Sherlock Holmes (disguised)
I thought you were surprisingly nimble.
Narrator
My dear Watson, I don't like this. Supposing somebody discovers it's burning the Duchess house and calls the police. Then what?
Sherlock Holmes (disguised)
We shall probably go to prison. Strike a match, will you?
Narrator
Right. But I still don't like it.
Sherlock Holmes (disguised)
I like this lamp. There we are.
Narrator
This is the room where the servants are not allowed.
Sherlock Holmes (disguised)
Now I wonder where the Duchess would ha. I think this wall safe gives us the answer. Yes, but the safe's old fashioned. Unless I'm much mistaken, the combination is an extremely simple one. It is? There we are. Look, Watson, this is Pandora's box. Indeed.
Narrator
It's got a whole collection of silver and jewelry.
Sherlock Holmes (disguised)
And prominent among it is the King of Mourania's jeweled snuffbox. I'll slip that in my pocket. I think His Majesty would prefer that I retained its owner.
Narrator
Look, Holmes, there's Count von Kratzo's emerald.
Sherlock Holmes (disguised)
Yes, Watson, we'll take charge of that too. The rest of this collection doesn't concern us. I think there's someone in the upper room. Quick, down the rope. Give me a hand over this window ledge.
Dowager Duchess of Penfield
Who's in there?
Narrator
Hurry home, Mr. Duchess.
Sherlock Holmes (disguised)
Follow me as fast as you can.
Dowager Duchess of Penfield
Who is it? Who is it? Why, my word, why Is that young Dr. Watson?
Narrator
That's right.
Dr. Watson
That's not young Dr. Watson.
Dowager Duchess of Penfield
How on earth did you get here?
Dr. Watson
Get here? I got here through the window.
Dowager Duchess of Penfield
Well, well, imagine that.
Dr. Watson
I climbed up a rope to your balcony. Your Grace.
Dowager Duchess of Penfield
You climbed up a rope? My dear boy, you took that risk from me. Oh, you impetuous boy.
Dr. Watson
Who, me? Oh no, you, Grace, your entire mistake.
Dowager Duchess of Penfield
Not a word, not a word. My dear boy, I know how you feel. I realized it tonight when you spoke of the grey chiffon dress I wore at smite Parkinson ball.
Dr. Watson
But you don't understand. I don't?
Dowager Duchess of Penfield
I do. I understand only too well. Oh, but you dear, dear boy, it can't be. Don't you understand? Think of my. My grandchildren, my refugees.
Dr. Watson
But really, your Grace, you're making a very.
Dowager Duchess of Penfield
Not another word, you headstrong boy. Now, one kiss and good night.
Dr. Watson
You're great,
Dowager Duchess of Penfield
My dear boy. Now, now you must go.
Narrator
Yes, I certainly must.
Dr. Watson
Good night.
Dowager Duchess of Penfield
Good night. You foolish boy.
Narrator
Scott Holmes will be furious. Holmes. Holmes. Holmes.
Sherlock Holmes (disguised)
Watson, what happened?
Narrator
Holmes, she.
Dr. Watson
She thought I was there to see her.
Sherlock Holmes
Hope springs eternally. I trust you didn't undeceive her.
Narrator
No, but she kissed me, Holmes.
Sherlock Holmes
A martyr to our cause.
Sherlock Holmes (disguised)
Watson.
Sherlock Holmes
Well, well, it's been a most successful evening. The case is solved and I imagine it's still quite early. What time is it?
Narrator
Well, sir.
Sherlock Holmes
Holmes, what's wrong?
Dr. Watson
Great Scott. When the Duchess kissed me, she stole my watch.
Lord Danby
You say the case is solved, Mr. Holmes?
Sherlock Holmes
Yes, Lord Danby. That's why I asked you and Count von Kratzoff and your nephew to join me here in Baker Street.
Count von Kratzoff
But where's my emerald?
Sherlock Holmes
Here it is, Countman Kratzoff, how did
Hilary
you make the old girl give it back? I bet it made her furious.
Dr. Watson
Supposing you let my friend explain in his own good time, young man.
Sherlock Holmes
Here is the replica, Count, and here's the real emerald. You will, of course identify the stone?
Count von Kratzoff
Yes, yes, of course.
Sherlock Holmes
Splendid. Then I'm sure you have no objection to signing this document I prepared. It relieves the Duchess's family of all responsibility. Please sign it here.
Count von Kratzoff
Very well, Mr. Holmes,
Sherlock Holmes (disguised)
sir.
Sherlock Holmes
Thank you, Count. And now, Lord Danby, I shall present this paper to you.
Lord Danby
I'm tremendously grateful, Mr. Holmes, but I'm utterly confused.
Sherlock Holmes
Then let me clarify the situation for you. I have another visitor here tonight. Please come in, won't you?
Mr. Marcus
Very well, Mr. Holmes.
Narrator
Lord, it's a duller fellow.
Sherlock Holmes
Now, Mr. Marcus, please point out the person who ordered the two paste replicas from you.
Mr. Marcus
It was that young man there.
Mr. Bell
Me?
Hilary
But I've never seen you before in my life.
Mr. Marcus
He was the man, Mr. Holmes.
Dowager Duchess of Penfield
You mean that my.
Sherlock Holmes
I mean, Lord Danby, that the whole theft was part of an extension. Extremely cunning plot, Count von Kratzoff. You joined forces with young Hillary here. You displayed a paste replica at your reception and tempted the Duchess to steal
Dr. Watson
it, which she did. And then the Count substituted the second replica in place of the one that she'd taken.
Sherlock Holmes
Precisely. And insisted that I examine the stone, knowing that I'd spot it was a fake. And then Count von Kratzoff attempted to persuade the family to settle for £20,000
Narrator
for the theft of a paste imitation.
Hilary
Well, Count, it looks as though Sherlock Holmes was too smart for us.
Count von Kratzoff
Be a fool, Hilary, admit nothing.
Sherlock Holmes
A confession is not needed since the guilt is proven.
Dr. Watson
But where's the real emerald?
Sherlock Holmes
I'm quite certain it's still safe in Poland. The whole plot was perfectly clear to me when Mr. Marcus told me of
Narrator
the pair of duplicates.
Dr. Watson
Yes, a kleptomaniac could hardly indulge in such an elaborate plan.
Sherlock Holmes
Nor would one work with an accomplice. Well, Lord Andy, what do you say?
Lord Danby
I'm shocked, deeply shocked. My nephew I shall deal with, separately, of course.
Hilary
Don't look so grumpy, Uncle. I was only trying to get a little money.
Sherlock Holmes
Granny wouldn't give me any. Count von Kratzoff, you can be prosecuted for fraud and extortion, you know.
Count von Kratzoff
Only by involving the Penfield family in a great deal of scandals, I assure you, Mr. Holmes.
Dr. Watson
What do you say, Lord Danby?
Narrator
Do you intend to prosecute The Count's right.
Lord Danby
The scandal would be unbearable.
Sherlock Holmes
Then I'd suggest we merely request Count von Kretsov's immediate departure for Poland.
Dowager Duchess of Penfield
Don't ask something, my good woman. I'm going upstairs.
Lord Danby
It's mother.
Hilary
It's granny.
Dr. Watson
It's the Duchess.
Dowager Duchess of Penfield
Oh Lord, my word, how very depressing. I came here to talk to Dr. Watson and I find his room knee deep with my relatives. Now get out of this room all of you. Now no arguments Mar. Leave the room all of you and wait for me downstairs.
Lord Danby
Very well, come along.
Dowager Duchess of Penfield
I want to speak to you privately, Mr. Holmes. I want to speak to Dr. Watson alone.
Mr. Marcus
Very well, your grace.
Narrator
Holmes, don't leave me.
Dowager Duchess of Penfield
Well that's extremely ungallant of you, Doctor.
Dr. Watson
Your grace, you can speak freely, perfectly freely, in front of Mr. Holmes here.
Dowager Duchess of Penfield
My word, how extremely disappointing. Well young man, I realize that I was cruel and heartless to you last night. Here, here's your watch.
Mr. Marcus
Humph, your grace.
Narrator
What's this gold key on the chain?
Dowager Duchess of Penfield
Well that's a key to my private conservatory in the garden. Oh dear me, yes. A man of your weight has no business climbing ropes. Good day, Mr. Holmes.
Sherlock Holmes
Goodbye, your grace.
Dowager Duchess of Penfield
Oh, and Dr. Watson?
Dr. Watson
Yes, your grace?
Dowager Duchess of Penfield
I looked through my wardrobe after you left last night. I found that dress I wore at the Smythe Parkinson's. It was green bottle, green nets.
Sherlock Holmes
Watson, my dear fellow, you've made a conquest. A distinct conquest.
Dr. Watson
Embarrassed in my life.
Narrator
A gold key indeed.
Dr. Watson
You know Holmes, though the case is over, I think Count von Kratzoff should
Narrator
be taught a lesson.
Dr. Watson
Undoubtedly he led that young fellow astray. Even though Lord Danby doesn't want to
Narrator
prosecute, I'm not sure that we shouldn't.
Sherlock Holmes
What evidence would we use?
Dr. Watson
Emerald, of course.
Sherlock Holmes
You seem to forget that the Dowager Duchess of Penfield has just left the room.
Dr. Watson
What, you mean she stole it again?
Sherlock Holmes
Yes, Watson. I'm sure that our evidence will shortly
Sherlock Holmes (disguised)
be reposing in that small room off her boudoir.
Sherlock Holmes
And I have a strong feeling that not even your love for British justice
Sherlock Holmes (disguised)
will get you there again.
Mr. Bell
Before Dr. Watson gives us a hint about next week's story. Girls, those famous million dollar powers models you see on magazine covers always have to keep their hair shining bright with highlights. Now here's how they do it.
Female Announcer
We glamour bathe our hair with Cremel shampoo. And ladies, I must say, Cremel shampoo brings out all the hair's natural glossy luster and sheen more than you may dream ever possible. It leaves the hair simply radiant and
Mr. Bell
kremel Shampoo is one shampoo you can buy today that doesn't dry the hair. In fact, it has a beneficial oil base which actually helps keep the hair from becoming dry.
Female Announcer
Yes, Kremel Shampoo leaves the hair so much softer, silkier and holds away better.
Mr. Bell
Ladies, buy a bottle of Kremel Shampoo at any drug counter. See how easy it is to glamour bathe your hair to a vision of beauty. J, R, E, M L Kremel Shampoo. And remember, a bottle of Kremel hair tonic makes a fine addition to that Christmas stocking. Now, Dr. Watson, what about next week?
Dr. Watson
Well, now, next week, Mr. Bell, I
Narrator
shall tell you a strange adventure in
Dr. Watson
which Sherlock Holmes and I fought a losing battle to prevent the murder of a man who, curiously enough, was already on his deathbed.
Mr. Bell
Tonight's new Sherlock Holmes adventure was suggested by an incident in Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's story the Musgrave Ritual. Nigel Bruce appeared by permission of California Pictures, Tom Conway, through the courtesy of Eagle Lion Pictures. This is Joseph Bell speaking for Kremel Hair Tonic and Kremel Shampoo and inviting you to be with us next week at this same time when Dr. Watson will tell us about the adventure of the Grand Old Man. This is abc, the American Broadcasting Company.
Choice Classic Radio Detectives | Old Time Radio
Date: May 15, 2026
Originally broadcast: December 14, 1946
Starring: Tom Conway (Sherlock Holmes), Nigel Bruce (Dr. Watson)
In this charmingly witty audio drama, Dr. Watson recalls to Mr. Bell and listeners one of his and Sherlock Holmes's most unusual cases. The adventure centers on the Dowager Duchess of Penfield, her alleged kleptomania, and a plot involving a priceless emerald. Holmes and Watson must navigate false accusations, family squabbles, and a clever jewel theft scheme to get to the bottom of the mysterious disappearance of the famous Kratzoff Emerald. The tone blends humor, sharp dialogue, and classic Holmes deduction.
[03:12 - 07:03]
[07:17 - 10:29]
[11:11 - 13:53]
[15:35 - 17:14]
[17:14 - 18:02]
[18:28 - 22:35]
[22:50 - 25:12]
[25:15 - 27:12]
Comedy of Manners:
Deft Holmesian Summation:
Watson’s Charm (and Bad Luck):
Final Cheeky Coda:
The episode is briskly paced, with sparkling dialogue, especially from the irrepressible Duchess—a blend of grand, eccentric, and cunning. Holmes is coolly analytical, Watson alternately competent and the butt of jokes. The script is witty, peppered with gentle satire of the aristocracy, family intrigue, and social anxieties about scandal. The Golden Age radio charm is present through period details, comic timing, and a dose of sentimental camaraderie.
This episode is a delightful blend of criminal intrigue, social farce, and classic detective work, highlighted by strong character moments, especially for Dr. Watson and the memorable Duchess. With a twisting plot and a comedic undertone, it’s both satisfying for Holmes devotees and welcoming for newcomers.
End of summary. For more detective adventures, be sure to join Dr. Watson and Sherlock Holmes next week for "The Adventure of the Grand Old Man."