The Adventures of Sam Spade: Farmer's Daughter Caper 09/03/1950

Summary

Choice Classic Radio Detectives | Old Time Radio
Episode: The Adventures of Sam Spade: Farmer's Daughter Caper
Release Date: March 29, 2025

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Introduction

In this thrilling installment of The Adventures of Sam Spade, host Choice Classic Radio presents a gripping tale set in the rustic landscapes surrounding San Francisco. The episode, titled Farmer's Daughter Caper, introduces listeners to a complex mystery involving deceit, hidden dangers, and the quintessential detective work of Sam Spade.

Setting the Scene

The story unfolds with Sam Spade returning to town, greeted by his associate Effie. The atmosphere is thick with tension as Effie reveals a mysterious report she has titled the "Farmer's Daughter Caper" ([01:35]). Her description sets the stage for a series of perplexing events that blend rural tranquility with sinister undertones.

Invocation of the Mystery

Effie begins dictating her report, referencing historical events like the Martins and the Coys, the Boston Massacre, and Custer's Last Stand, amalgamating them into the unfolding mystery ([01:29]-[01:35]). This sets up an expectation of a multifaceted case that demands Sam Spade's keen investigative skills.

Arrival at the Farmhouse

The plot intensifies when Mary Smith, a weary traveler, arrives seeking refuge at a ramshackle farmhouse managed by Mrs. Elkins ([04:52]-[05:09]). Mary’s insistence on finding a room, despite the eerie ambiance of the farmhouse, immediately raises red flags. Sam Spade's professional demeanor is evident as he navigates the interaction with Mrs. Elkins, highlighting his intuition about underlying threats ([05:18]-[05:24]).

Notable Quote:

"I want to see every nook and cranny of every square foot of land that surrounds me."
— Effie [01:19]

Unraveling the Truth

As Sam and Effie engage more with Mary, inconsistencies in her story begin to surface. Mary's claims about her uncle Bert's sudden disappearance and her loyal dog going missing prompt a deeper investigation ([07:47]-[09:00]). Effie's relentless pursuit leads them to the hillside cave behind the farmhouse, where disturbing discoveries await.

Notable Quote:

"I should have been ready for the next one. But I wasn't."
— Effie [14:00]

Confrontation and Conflict

The tension peaks when Sam and Effie uncover a hidden passage leading to the cave, where they encounter a lifeless corpse believed to be James Linden, a jewelry salesman who visited the farmhouse five nights ago ([10:34]-[10:54]). Their investigation is abruptly interrupted by the arrival of Sheriff Homer Pickett, whose dubious behavior and evasive responses add another layer of mystery and danger to the case ([19:47]-[21:50]).

Notable Quote:

"They thought I'd stay in there forever."
— James Linden [14:58]

Climactic Showdown

The episode reaches its climax with a dramatic showdown between Sam, Effie, Sheriff Pickett, and Mrs. Elkins. Accusations fly as truths are unveiled: Mrs. Elkins' involvement in burying the corpse and her subsequent desperate actions to hide her crimes. The revelation that Mrs. Elkins impersonated Mary Smith to deceive Sam and Effie brings the mystery to a head ([22:27]-[26:23]).

Notable Quote:

"I couldn't stay in that awful house any longer."
— Mary Smith [15:32]

Resolution and Aftermath

In the resolution, Sheriff Pickett's incompetence and Mrs. Elkins' duplicity are exposed. Sam Spade's unparalleled detective prowess ensures that justice is served, despite the Sheriff's initial attempts to undermine the investigation. The episode concludes with Sam reflecting on the intricate web of deception, reaffirming his status as the quintessential detective who remains unshaken in the face of deception and danger ([26:38]-[28:17]).

Notable Quote:

"You're the greatest private detective of them all."
— Effie [26:34]

Conclusion

The Adventures of Sam Spade: Farmer's Daughter Caper is a masterful blend of suspense, intricate plotting, and classic detective elements. The episode not only captivates with its engaging narrative but also enriches the listener's experience with memorable dialogues and character dynamics. Choice Classic Radio successfully brings the Golden Age of Radio to life, offering old-time radio fans a compelling story that stands the test of time.

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Highlighted Quotes

1. Effie: "I should have been ready for the next one. But I wasn't." ([14:00])
2. Sam Spade: "We were both thinking of the same thing to do." ([24:06])
3. Mary Smith: "I couldn't stay in that awful house any longer." ([15:32])
4. Sheriff Homer Pickett: "You're dead. Blame right on the sheriff." ([19:52])
5. Effie: "I do declare, that sounds reasonable." ([21:00])

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Key Characters

• Sam Spade: The quintessential private detective, portrayed by Howard Duff, whose sharp intellect and unwavering determination drive the investigation.
• Effie: Sam's trusted associate, who plays a crucial role in uncovering the layers of the mystery.
• Mary Smith: A distressed traveler whose arrival triggers the unfolding of the caper.
• Sheriff Homer Pickett: The county sheriff whose actions and loyalties add complexity to the investigation.
• Mrs. Elkins: The enigmatic and deceitful manager of the farmhouse, central to the mystery’s resolution.

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Themes and Insights

• Deception and Trust: The episode delves into the complexities of trust, showcasing how appearances can be misleading and the importance of skepticism in detective work.
• Isolation and Vulnerability: Set against a rural backdrop, the story highlights the vulnerabilities that come with isolation, both physical and emotional.
• Justice and Moral Integrity: Sam Spade’s unwavering commitment to justice underscores the moral backbone essential for true detective work.

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Final Thoughts

The Adventures of Sam Spade: Farmer's Daughter Caper exemplifies the rich storytelling and intricate plotting that made old-time radio detective shows a beloved genre. With its engaging narrative, well-developed characters, and memorable dialogues, this episode is a must-listen for aficionados of classic radio mysteries.

Transcript

[Podbean Announcer]

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[Choice Classic Radio Host]

Welcome to Choice Classic Radio where we bring to you the greatest old time radio shows like us on Facebook. Subscribe to us on YouTube and thank you for [e-mail] Wildroot Cream Oil Hair Tonic and the new Wild Root Liquid Cream Shampoo Present the Adventures of Sam Spade.

[Sam Spade]

Sam Spade Detective Agency.

[Effie]

Sweetheart.

[Sam Spade]

Oh, Sam, I'm glad you're back in town.

[Effie]

So am I, Effie. So am I. Confidentially, I didn't think I'd make it. Confidentially, that is.

[Sam Spade]

Was it dangerous, Sam?

[Effie]

I should say it was. Why? For the past 24 hours, I've been at it hammer and tongs over hill and dale, through shot and shell. It was enough to turn any ordinary man's blood to ice. And his hair, pure white.

[Sam Spade]

Oh, that sounds terrifying, Sam.

[Effie]

I wish it had been only terrifying, Effie. It was blood curdling, spine chilling, hair raising. I was bored. It was also rural and countryfied.

[Sam Spade]

Well, what happened, Sam?

[Podbean Announcer]

Tell.

[Effie]

You've heard of the Martins and the Coys?

[Sam Spade]

No.

[Effie]

And the Boston Massacre?

[Sam Spade]

No.

[Effie]

Custer's Last Stand?

[Sam Spade]

No.

[Effie]

Well, put them all together and they spell what I'll shortly begin to dictate a report which I call in the first of clever literary plagiarism, the Farmer's Daughter Caper.

[Choice Classic Radio Host]

The Adventures of Sam Spade Detective starring Howard Duff. Produced, edited and directed by William Speer. Presented by the makers of Wild Root Cream Oil Hair Tonic, the non alcoholic hair tonic that contains lanolin. To look your holiday best friends, be sure to use Wild Root Cream Oil, America's favorite hair tonic. Wild Root Cream Oil grooms your hair neatly and naturally relieves annoying dryness. Removes loose, ugly dandruff. What's more, it's non alcoholic and contains soothing lanolin. Get Wild Root Cream Oil in the big family size bottle or handy tube. Ask for it at your drug or toilet goods counter very first chance you get for the holiday and all year round. Use Wildroot Cream Oil Hair Tonic again and again. The choice of men and women and children too. And now with Howard Duff as Spade, Wildroot brings to the air the greatest private detective of them all in the Adventures of Sam Spade.

[Sheriff Homer Pickett]

Effie?

[Sam Spade]

I'm right here, Sam.

[Effie]

Pull up all the shades.

[Sam Spade]

All right, Sam.

[Effie]

Now turn on every light in the place.

[Sam Spade]

But it's there.

[Effie]

Do what I say.

[Sam Spade]

All right, Sam.

[Effie]

Now check the closets.

[Sam Spade]

What for?

[Effie]

The snipers. What do you think?

[Sam Spade]

All right, Sam. Nobody here.

[Effie]

Okay. I guess it's safe to come all the way in.

[Sheriff Homer Pickett]

Oh.

[Sam Spade]

What's this all about, Sam? I don't understand, Effie.

[Effie]

It's just that I don't ever want to be caught in the dark again, especially when people are shooting at me. I want to see every nook and cranny of every square foot of land that surrounds me.

[Sam Spade]

Sam, who was shooting at you?

[Effie]

Where they were shooting. From the left, from the right, from up above, down below, everywhere death was winging in on every breeze that blew. And they all blew my way.

[Sam Spade]

Oh, Sam, now stop this. I'm just dying of curiosity.

[Effie]

When my time comes, I hope that's all I ever die of. Ready? Yeah. Date this week to Mr. Elliot Parson. Parson. Drive yourself. Garage 1618St. Charles Street, San Francisco 13. California. From Samuel Spade, license number 137596. Subject, the Farmer's Daughter Caper. Dear Mr. Parsons, I feel you have an explanation coming, one that you can pass along to your insurance company as to why the car I rented from you last week appeared as late as it did and in the condition it did. As you know, I rented said vehicle to drive to Middletown to bail a client out of the drunk tank. On the way back, a native showed me a shortcut. And I'll get him if it's the last thing I do. Dusk was falling, and so were my eyelids when I saw a sign that said, tourists invited. Behind it stood a ramshackle farmhouse in a surly woodland setting. I should never have knocked on that farmhouse door. But then I wouldn't have had any story to tell, would I?

[Sam Spade]

Good evening, young man.

[Effie]

Good evening, madam. I'm afraid I need a room for the night.

[Sam Spade]

Well, of course you do. Land sakes, you're tired. I can tell by your eyes. Been on the road long?

[Effie]

Too long.

[Sam Spade]

Land sakes. Of course you have. Come in, please.

[Effie]

Thank you, ma'am.

[Sam Spade]

You'll find this is the homiest tourist home in California.

[Effie]

Really? Like mother's, eh?

[Sam Spade]

Like your grandmother's. No electricity, no phones. Just quiet.

[Effie]

I see.

[Sam Spade]

Now, I have two rooms. A three dollar one and a $5 one. Which one do you think you like?

[Effie]

What's the difference?

[Sam Spade]

One less blanket, one squeaky spring. And with the $3 one, you might have to take a walk.

[Effie]

I'll take the five dollar one, thank you.

[Sam Spade]

I'm Mrs. Elkins. Mrs. Burt Elkins. Who might you be?

[Effie]

Sam Spade.

[Sam Spade]

Spade? Land sakes, that's a very unusual name. And who are you traveling with, Mr. Spade?

[Effie]

I'm alone.

[Sam Spade]

Oh. I mean, what company? We only accept traveling salesmen. You realize that.

[Effie]

Oh, yes. Well, I'm traveling for the makers of Mouton mustache wax.

[Sam Spade]

Oh. Oh. Use it all the time.

[Effie]

You are well groomed, madam.

[Sam Spade]

You will go far, young man.

[Effie]

Yeah, but before that, I'd like to go to bed.

[Sam Spade]

Well, come on. This way.

[Effie]

She led me upstairs to my $5 room and left. As lumpy as it was, the bed invited me, but I decided to shave first and thus facilitate an early start in the morning. I poured myself a drink out of my traveling bar kit and then stepped in to shave. It wasn't easy because all I had for light in there was an oil lamp. When I came back to the bedroom with a lamp in one hand, I stopped short in utter surprise. I'd heard about these things in traveling salesman stories, but I never expected to see it. She was sitting in an armchair, smoking a cigarette. High heels, silk stockings, light rayon dress, and a face right off the COVID of Cosmopolitan.

[Mary Smith]

Hello, Sam.

[Effie]

Hello.

[Mary Smith]

Mary Smith, huh? Hope you don't mind me just barging in.

[Effie]

Well, no, no. Well, no, that is.

[Mary Smith]

Afraid I'll bite you?

[Effie]

Never entered my mind.

[Mary Smith]

Well, I might. I'm so tired of talking to myself. I need someone like you. You know, you're not bad to look at.

[Effie]

Who, me?

[Sam Spade]

Where do you live? What do you do for a living?

[Effie]

Well, I guess you'd call me independently wealthy. I wish someone would.

[Mary Smith]

How nice. San Francisco.

[Effie]

There must be some fog on my lapel.

[Mary Smith]

Look, Sam, I'll give it to you straight. I want to get out of here, go to San Francisco. Could you take a passenger tomorrow?

[Effie]

Well, what would your mother say?

[Mary Smith]

She's my aunt. What do I care what she says? I don't belong on a farm out in the west. Wet pasture. Ruins my nylons. I'm a city girl. Philadelphia.

[Effie]

Why did you leave?

[Mary Smith]

My parents died. Look, Sam, I won't be a burden to you. I just want to get to San Francisco. After that, I'm on my own. Sam, take me with you. Please take me with you. You won't regret it.

[Effie]

What am I gonna do with this lamb?

[Mary Smith]

Who cares? Oh, Sam.

[Sam Spade]

Well, I thought I'd find something like this going on in here. Get out of here. Go back to your room, young lady. Go on. Now, Mr. Spade.

[Effie]

It does look bad, doesn't it?

[Sam Spade]

Oh, I'm not blaming you, Mr. Spade. Land sakes, it's her. She ain't responsible for what she does. She's like this all the time.

[Effie]

I see.

[Sam Spade]

Now, when I go out, you just lock your door. Just keep it locked.

[Effie]

But, ma'am, this is a $5 room. A sleepless hour later, I heard something slide under my door. I looked and found it was a note that read, Mr. Spade, Sam, please unlock your door, and when the house is quiet, I'll come and see you. I'm desperate. Terribly, terribly desperate. Don't leave me. Give me a chance to tell you what it's all about. Please. Stupid me. I unlocked my door, dressed again and waited. An hour and a half later, I heard my doorknob turning in the dark. The door opened. Quiet, quietly and quickly.

[Mary Smith]

Sam, the things that go on in this house, they're insane. Oh, I've been here three months. When my father died, I had no money, and because Aunt Maud was my only relative, I came here. And ever since I came, they never let me out of the house for more than an hour. They never let me see anyone or do anything.

[Effie]

Why?

[Mary Smith]

I wish I knew. Five days ago, Uncle Bert left early one morning. He hasn't come back since. Aunt Maud says he's away on business. He doesn't have any business.

[Effie]

Well, even so, that doesn't seem strange to me.

[Mary Smith]

Then there's my dog. What about disappeared the same night Bert did. They told me it ran away. I know it didn't. I've had it for three years. It never ran away.

[Effie]

What do you think?

[Mary Smith]

I was sure I could hear it howling somewhere for two or three nights. Then the howling stopped. I think I know where it is, but I don't know why. It scares me.

[Effie]

Where do you think it is?

[Mary Smith]

Sam, you're going to think I'm crazy, right out of my mind, but. Well, about 150 yards behind the house, there's a hillside with an old cave in it.

[Effie]

Oh, an old cave.

[Mary Smith]

I don't know what it's used for, but yesterday I saw the whole front end of it closed. Closed with dirt. Sam, they buried that dog alive in that cave. I know it.

[Effie]

Oh, wait a minute now. Did you ask Mrs. Elkin?

[Mary Smith]

Yes. All she said was, the dog ran away and mind your own business. She told me to leave the cave alone. Sam, let's go out there and look. Please.

[Effie]

Wow. So big, brave, stupid Sam. Idiot boy. Allowed her to show me the back way out of the house and we sneaked to the barn together. She found a shovel and we walked to the cave. When my eyes got accustomed to the dark, I saw the entrance had been covered with dirt. And recently, I took the shovel. While she stood watching, I cleared half of the dirt away and worked as quietly as I could. But apparently not quietly enough. A flashlight suddenly hit both of us in the face and a shotgun barrel flashed in the beam.

[Sam Spade]

Get away from there before I shoot your head off.

[Effie]

Point that thing someplace else, please. Ma'am.

[Sam Spade]

Yes? What do you think you're doing, mister?

[Effie]

Digging.

[Sam Spade]

Mary, you get back to the house.

[Mary Smith]

No. And Maude, I won't.

[Sam Spade]

Get back to the house before I count three, or I'll put a load of buckshot right through you.

[Effie]

Now.

[Sam Spade]

One.

[Mary Smith]

And Maude, my dog is in there.

[Sam Spade]

Two. All right. All right.

[Effie]

Now, Mrs. Elkins, suppose you put that gun down and tell me what this is all about.

[Sam Spade]

I got one thing to say to you, mister. Get in your car and get out of here. And don't waste any time doing it. But, ma'am, the suitcase is in the car and your $5 is with it.

[Effie]

Yeah, but.

[Sam Spade]

Now get or I shoot you as a trespasser. And I can do it, mister. Land sakes, I could do it. Now get.

[Effie]

So I got under guard to my car. I got in and drove off. And this is the driveway. With a shotgun still pointed at me until I was out of sight, I turned left at the first crossroad, parked the car and cut through the woods back to the farm. I could see a light in the living room. Nobody was in or near the barn. When I got to the cave, there wasn't a sound anywhere. I picked up the shovel I dropped and started digging again. Thirty minutes later, the shovel broke a small hole through into that cave and a stifling blast of fetid air rushed out. And something leaped out at me in the dark. And it wasn't the dog. It was a human hand on a human arm.

[Choice Classic Radio Host]

The makers of wild root cream oil are presenting the weekly Sunday adventure of America's favorite private detective, Sam Spade. Now, here's important news on good grooming. If you want the well groomed look that helps you get ahead socially and on the job. Listen. Recently, thousands of people from coast to coast who actually purchased wild root cream oil were asked, how does wild root cream oil compare with the hair tonic you previously used? The results were amazing. Better than four out of five who replied said they preferred wild root cream oil. Remember, non alcoholic wild root cream oil contains lanolin it grooms the hair naturally, relieves dryness and removes loose, ugly dandruff. So if you want your hair to be more attractive than ever before, get the new 25 cent Get Acquainted bottle of Wild Root Cream Oil. America's leading hair tonic. On sale at all drug and toilet goods counters. It's also available in larger economy bottles and the handy new tube. By the way, smart girls use Wild Root Cream Oil too. And mothers say it's grand for training children's hair. Get Wild Root Cream Oil again and again. The choice of men and women and children, too. And now back to the Farmer's Daughter caper. Tonight's adventure with Sam Spade.

[Effie]

In a night already full of surprises, I should have been ready for the next one. But I wasn't. The loose earth which had blocked the entrance to the cave suddenly fell away and I fell with it. Then I heard something like. Nothing on earth. Nails dragged across my face, taking skin and flesh with them. I twisted and went down, and something went down with me. The snarl became a voice. Bury me alive. Bury me alive. I'll kill you. I'll kill you. And he did his best, which was pretty good. Finally, I got a good hold on him and sat on his chest. After that, I lit a match and looked at a tall, thin man in his middle 40s. He was caked with mud from head to foot. His hands were impossibly torn and bleeding. I could guess why, judging from the stubble on his face. He'd been bottled up in that cave at least five days. How he was still alive, I didn't know. He acted like a madman, and he had every right to but surprise when his eyelids fluttered open again he read a very sane line.

[Sam Spade]

I'm all done in. You got a drink, friend?

[Effie]

Not on me.

[Sam Spade]

They hit me on the head and left me there. They thought I'd stay in there forever.

[Effie]

Forever. Who put you there?

[Choice Classic Radio Host]

Who did it?

[Effie]

But they couldn't keep me there. I dug my way out tonight. Good night. I dug my way out. Good night. The force of the bullets knocked them halfway back down the incline to the cave. All I could do was hit the dirt. Finally, when it seemed safe, I broke cover and ran smack into somebody carrying two bags.

[Mary Smith]

Oh, no.

[Sam Spade]

No.

[Mary Smith]

Please.

[Podbean Announcer]

Please.

[Effie]

Let's have a look at you.

[Mary Smith]

Sam. Sam, it's me, Sam. I knew you wouldn't go away without me. I knew it. I couldn't stay in that awful house any longer.

[Effie]

Look at that. Now. Who was that shooting at?

[Mary Smith]

I don't know.

[Effie]

Where's your aunt?

[Mary Smith]

In the house, I suppose.

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[Choice Classic Radio Host]

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[Mary Smith]

I slipped out the back way.

[Effie]

Any visitors tonight?

[Mary Smith]

No. What is it? What is it?

[Effie]

I think I found your Uncle Bert. Come on. I led her back to the cave entrance and showed her the body of the man I dragged out. I watched her face a long time as she looked at him very carefully.

[Mary Smith]

It's not Uncle Bert, Sam.

[Effie]

Really?

[Mary Smith]

No. It's Mr. Linden, jewelry salesman who came to the place a few nights ago.

[Effie]

Five nights ago?

[Mary Smith]

Yes, yes. Come to think of him, the same.

[Effie]

Night your uncle disappeared. Tell me, did you ask Mr. Linden to take you back to San Francisco the same way you asked me? I did you?

[Mary Smith]

Yes, he said he would. Got up early and left without me.

[Effie]

He didn't get far. What kind of car was he driving?

[Mary Smith]

I don't know. I don't remember.

[Effie]

Do you drive a car? Yes, but mine's down the road about 500 yards. Go to the nearest phone and call the highway patrol, a sheriff, anybody who represents law. Got that?

[Mary Smith]

Yes, yes. I know exactly what to do.

[Effie]

To make sure. We were both thinking of the same thing to do. I followed her in the dark, watched her get into the car I rented from you and drive off. Then I turned around, put a new clip in my gun and walked back to the old homestead. It was still very homey. By the light of an oil lamp, Mrs. Elkins was peacefully knitting what looked like a shroud.

[Sam Spade]

Why, Mr. Spade?

[Effie]

Why, Mrs. Elkins.

[Sam Spade]

Land sakes.

[Effie]

Land sakes. Now that we got that out of the way, let's get down to business.

[Sam Spade]

If you're here to make trouble, young man, believe me, I can handle trouble. My kind to stop. No about trouble.

[Effie]

Well, suppose you tell me about the trouble I just had. Or haven't you heard all the shots that were fired around here tonight?

[Sam Spade]

Shots?

[Effie]

My, my, my, my.

[Sam Spade]

Seems I would have heard gunshots.

[Effie]

Seems you would. Look, I've got a sheriff on the way.

[Sam Spade]

Have you, Mr. Spade?

[Effie]

Why, I suppose you didn't hear the shooting.

[Sam Spade]

Oh, yes, yes. I'd forgotten. Was anyone hurt?

[Effie]

A man named Lyndon. He's dead.

[Sam Spade]

Lyndon. Lyndon. Now that sounds familiar.

[Effie]

It should. He stayed here five nights ago. He was a jewelry salesman.

[Sam Spade]

Yes, yes, now I remember. You say he's dead.

[Effie]

Somebody tried to bury him alive in your little cave.

[Sam Spade]

How awful.

[Effie]

I do declare, I thought you would.

[Sam Spade]

Well, you must be joshing, Mr. Spade.

[Effie]

I'm not joshing at all, Mrs. Elkins.

[Sam Spade]

Well, well. Buried alive, you say.

[Effie]

Look, let's talk just like plain folks. Where's your husband? Where's the jewelry samples you probably stole from Linden? Is there anything else you want to say?

[Sam Spade]

Gunshot. Well, well.

[Effie]

I left the sweet old thing knitting and rocking and made my way through the house looking for guns, jewelry and killers. I got downstairs in time to see Mrs. Elkins disappear out the front door. When I tried to follow, I stumbled over the rocking chair, which was indeed a lucky thing for me. After a few minutes of silence, bravely crawling on my stomach, I followed the shadows of the house until they blended into the shadows of a large hulking building which happened to be the barn. Inside, I bumped my head on the radiator of a car. Naturally, I didn't find any keys in it. But I did find a familiar jewelry salesman type mud soaked corpse. When I was trying to remember how to cross ignition wires, I heard the hum of a motor and saw two headlight beams swinging up the driveway. They lasted as long as any other lights. The car came to a lurching stop and a thick set figure in a Stetson hat stumbled towards me tugging at a gun.

[Sheriff Homer Pickett]

That burned gob, flame cuff thing.

[Effie]

I undo the flap.

[Sheriff Homer Pickett]

Put your hands up. Whoever you are.

[Effie]

You be the sheriff.

[Sheriff Homer Pickett]

You're dead. Blame right on the sheriff. You're dead. Blamed right on the sheriff.

[Effie]

Who are you?

[Sheriff Homer Pickett]

What's the idea of shooting the lights out? My car.

[Effie]

My car.

[Sheriff Homer Pickett]

Go.

[Effie]

You Slade Spade?

[Sheriff Homer Pickett]

Well, I'm Homer Pickett, sheriff of this county. The girl come woke me up. Said all sorts of funny things going on around here. Said there had been a murder. Who's killed? What's going on, Stan?

[Effie]

Sam. Well, for one thing, somebody's been trying all sorts of ammunition on me for size.

[Sheriff Homer Pickett]

You don't say.

[Effie]

I do say, Mr. Sheriff.

[Sheriff Homer Pickett]

Why?

[Effie]

Because I found a man in a cave who'd been left there to die.

[Sheriff Homer Pickett]

Want to look at the corpse?

[Effie]

You can look at him right here. He's sitting in this car.

[Sheriff Homer Pickett]

So, yeah. How'd he get here?

[Effie]

Somebody moved him here.

[Sheriff Homer Pickett]

Shorten them. Move a corpse till the police examine it.

[Effie]

I didn't move it. Now listen closely. Listening. I found the man. He was still alive. Then somebody shot him.

[Sheriff Homer Pickett]

Shouldn't have moved him.

[Effie]

Then they tried to kill me. Because I found him when they didn't kill me, they decided to hide his body.

[Sheriff Homer Pickett]

Illegal.

[Effie]

They probably intended to drive away and dispose of it so there'd be no evidence. When an efficient, smart, alert, courageous police officer like yourself came around to ask questions.

[Sheriff Homer Pickett]

Hey, that sounds reasonable. Who's behind all this?

[Effie]

Well, Mrs. Elkins threatened me once and tried to kill me once more.

[Sheriff Homer Pickett]

Well, land.

[Effie]

Say, that's her.

[Sheriff Homer Pickett]

Yes, I want to talk to her. Where's she?

[Effie]

Roaming the countryside with a gun, no doubt.

[Sheriff Homer Pickett]

Well, we'll have to clear all this up, see what it's all about. Now, who's this fell in the car?

[Effie]

His name's James Linden.

[Sheriff Homer Pickett]

Got a pencil? I better write that down. Tilden, huh?

[Effie]

Linden. Well, by any strange coincidence, Sheriff, you happen to know a man named Dundee? San Francisco Homicide.

[Sheriff Homer Pickett]

Lieutenant Dund. Old Tom.

[Effie]

Old Tom? Yeah.

[Sheriff Homer Pickett]

Shucks, I learned everything I know about police work from him. Yeah, well, that f. And law's law, Dundee always said.

[Effie]

I've heard him say it, Sheriff, and.

[Sheriff Homer Pickett]

I am to enforce it around here. One side, Mr. Slade Spade.

[Effie]

Hey, you'll be sorry. Well.

[Sheriff Homer Pickett]

Now, look here, all you el this Homer Picket talking, and I ain't no small town constable. I'm the sheriff of this county. You'll get a square deal from me. But first I order you in the name of the law to throw down your guns. Well, my.

[Effie]

You all right?

[Sheriff Homer Pickett]

Nothing but my feeling hurt.

[Effie]

Oh, I want you.

[Sheriff Homer Pickett]

I thought that'd do some good.

[Effie]

Well, now you know. Hey, look. Maybe it did do some good.

[Sam Spade]

I'm giving up, Derek. I'm giving up. It's me, Mrs. Elkins.

[Effie]

She came across the farmyard as the first light was showing in the eastern sky. Her hands were above her head. One held a shotgun. Get back where you belong, Maud. We could hear, but we couldn't see her. Maud stopped, hesitated for a moment, and then began running towards us. She almost made it. I ran out to drag her back, expecting any second to be the target for the night. There was a sudden and curious silence as I pulled her into the barn. She was still alive.

[Sam Spade]

That man's been missing everybody all night. Never thought he'd be able to hit me easy. I come from good stock. I'm no criminal, Mr. Spade. Sheriff, you know that.

[Sheriff Homer Pickett]

Yeah, I know.

[Effie]

Maud, Let me take a look at you. You'll be okay.

[Sam Spade]

Don't blame Bert too much. He wanted to have money once in his life. So when this man came along with all the jewelry Bert went out of his mind. I guess he put the man in the cave and the dog too, so the dog wouldn't call attention to him. And then he took the man's car, went into San Francisco to try to sell the jewels. Underwear?

[Effie]

No, Lucky.

[Sam Spade]

Bert says they laughed at him. Jewels were just paste stampers.

[Effie]

And he came back and found me at the cave and he figured he had to knock us both off.

[Sam Spade]

I just stuck by him all the way. Now he's like a tiger that smelt blood. No telling what he'll do.

[Sheriff Homer Pickett]

We'll have to get help. Spade, roadblocks, bloodhounds.

[Sam Spade]

No, no, this is his land. He won't run. He'll hide here.

[Effie]

Where?

[Sam Spade]

Why in the cave?

[Effie]

Well, I reasoned one, that no matter how much a man loved his land, he was not going to let himself be trapped in a cave with only one exit and two it follow. Therefore, that if he did hide in the cave, there was more than one way out which the late Linden hadn't found. Sheriff Pickett volunteered to watch the front of the cave while I looked around for a rear exit. After a 20 minute search which netted me nothing, I remember the car parked inside the barn and how quickly Elkins had carried Linden's body to it. I went back there and took a look around. In a corner of the barn, I found a trail of dirt leading to a bale of hay. When I moved the hay to the bale, I found, you guessed it, a trap door. I pulled it open, caught a familiar whiff of used up air and lowered myself into a black hole that turned out to be a passageway. I cautiously made my way forward in the darkness for a few yards.

[Sheriff Homer Pickett]

Who is it? Who is it?

[Effie]

I pressed back against the dirt wall, listening to him approach. When I figured he was close enough, I threw a cloud of dirt toward him across the passageway. His gun flashed and lit up the whole place for a second and I fired three times at the silhouette. I waited. Then I went towards him. He was lying on his back. I kicked his gun away and when I bent over him to feel his pulse, he suddenly came to life. Something crashed against the side of my head and everything became darker than the inside of a cave. The next thing I knew, I was looking at a pair of red rimmed eyes. Several minutes had gone by.

[Sheriff Homer Pickett]

Thought you was a goner for sure. You ain't used to this country fighting, are you?

[Effie]

Is this country, licky, Sheriff? Yeah. Gimme. Yeah, country liquor. Tell me, Sheriff, did you buy any chicks? Sure.

[Sheriff Homer Pickett]

Of course I did. I got em slayed.

[Effie]

Period. And a report.

[Sam Spade]

Sam, do you mean to tell me you let a little country sheriff outdo you?

[Effie]

Well, Effie, Homer Pickett's coming up for reelection next fall. And besides, you might think I was egotistical if I told you how it really ended.

[Sam Spade]

But your reputation. You're the greatest private detective of them all.

[Effie]

And so I can afford to be generous now? Not in other words, school. Type that up.

[Choice Classic Radio Host]

If your supply of Wild Root Cream Oil Hair Tonic is getting low, better make a note to get some more tonight or first thing tomorrow. Remember, Wild Root Cream Oil is the famous hair tonic that grooms your hair neatly and naturally relieves dryness, removes loose dandruff. Always keep a big bottle or tube on hand and ask your barber for a professional application of Wild Root Cream Oil Hair tonic. Again and again, the choice of men and women and children, too.

[Sam Spade]

Here it is, Sam.

[Effie]

Let me see. Let me see here. F you rewrote the ending.

[Sam Spade]

I had to, Sam. You're much too modest.

[Effie]

And Sam Spade, with a knot of cold fury in the pit of his stomach, a vindictive fire in his eyes, stepped wearily over the loose rocks on the cave floor to do battle with the thing that loomed up in the darkness ahead. The thing's roar filled the night with terror. But Sam Spade, dauntless and knowing not fear, stepped up to the monster, laughed in its hairy face and with one quick convulsion of his powerful shoulder muscles dropped the thing in its tracks. I see. Well, is that the way you think it ended, Effie?

[Sam Spade]

Oh, Sam. I guess I was being a little foolish. I'll change it.

[Effie]

No, no. As long as you've done it this way, we'll leave it this way. Can't waste paper.

[Sam Spade]

No, no. I'll change it. Sam.

[Effie]

Leave it.

[Sam Spade]

Oh, Sam.

[Effie]

Yeah.

[Sam Spade]

I copied that ending out of an old Black Mask magazine.

[Effie]

You what?

[Sam Spade]

Don't be mad.

[Effie]

Come here. Come here. I copied that out of an old whiz bang.

[Sam Spade]

Oh, Sam. Good night.

[Effie]

Good night, sweetheart.

[Choice Classic Radio Host]

The adventures of Sam Spade are produced and directed by William Spear. Sam Spade is played by Howard Duff. Lorene Tuttle is Effie. Tonight's Adventure with Sam Spade was written for radio by John Michael Hayes and E. Jack Newman. Musical direction by Lud Gluskin with score composed by Pierre and Renee Garaghan. Join us again next Sunday when producer William Spear presents another adventure with Sam Spade, brought to you by Wild Root Cream Oil. Again and again, the choice of men and women and children, too. This is Dick Joy speaking here's an exciting new shampoo that's grand for all the family. And here's our own Squeaky to tell you about it.

[Sam Spade]

Look at your hair. Is it stringy and dull?

[Mary Smith]

Does it only cover your skull? The Wild Root Liquid Cream Shampoo is just the thing for girls like you. Gleams your hair, you know what I mean. And leaves your hair skin squeaky clean.

[Choice Classic Radio Host]

Squeaky clean, squeaky clean.

[Sam Spade]

Wild Root Liquid Cream Shampoo.

[Choice Classic Radio Host]

Stay tuned for the Summer Symphony with Kathryn Grayson on NBC.

[Effie]

It.