The Adventures of Sam Spade: The Bluebeard Caper 08/08/1948

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Adventures of Sam Spade – The Bluebeard Caper

Podcast: Choice Classic Radio Detectives | Old Time Radio
Episode: The Adventures of Sam Spade: The Bluebeard Caper (originally aired 08/08/1948)
Date: October 18, 2025 (Podcast Release)
Host: Choice Classic Radio
Starring: Howard Duff as Sam Spade, Lorene Tuttle as Sylvia/Effie

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Overview

This episode of The Adventures of Sam Spade is a classic "hard-boiled detective" tale involving murder, duplicity, and carnival intrigue. Sam is hired by Ned Towers to prevent his sister Sylvia from marrying the notorious "Bluebeard," Jefferson Davis Calhoun—a man whose three previous wives all perished under suspicious circumstances. The case twists through multiple disguises, carnival acts, and convoluted relationships, ultimately revealing a web of deception involving fake deaths, insurance fraud, and vaudeville trickery.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Client in Need: A Bluebeard Emerges

[03:54] – [06:30]

• Sam Spade is hired by a hungover Ned Towers, who fears for his sister Sylvia; she's set to marry Calhoun, a man whose three wives died under grimly inventive circumstances.
• Ned reveals, “I found out that his name’s not Calhoun at all…all his wives died mysteriously and that he collected their insurance. And now he’s talked my sister into insuring herself for 100,000 bucks in his pay rate.”
• Sam is skeptical but takes the job for a $50 retainer to “save another poor girl from her doom.”

2. Meeting Sylvia: Femme Fatale or Trickster?

[07:18] – [10:06]

• Sam visits Sylvia Towers, whose playful banter and flirtatious lounging bely the looming danger.
• Sylvia jokes about her engagement: “He was selling some phony stock certificates, so I bought a few...It was the only way I could force the issue.”
• Sam interrogates her about Calhoun’s deadly past; she remains unworried—“I’m not superstitious. I think I may change his luck.”

3. The Confrontation with Calhoun

[10:15] – [12:28]

• Calhoun interrupts, bristling with Southern honor and double-talk. There’s a tense negotiation where Sam pretends to aid Calhoun’s plot for a share of the insurance money.
• Calhoun offers, “$5,000 now, $5,000 after she’s buried, $20,000 after the insurance pays off.” Sam haggles for half.
• The ruse escalates—Calhoun is knocked out with a “souvenir of Niagara Falls,” revealing violent intent.

4. The Carnival Connection & Disappearing Acts

[14:50] – [19:01]

• Sam traces clues to a carnival run by “Colonel Carlisle.” Disguises, ropes, and a diving helmet abound.
• At the carnival, Sam finds Ned performing as the fire-eater “Professor De la Tour.” Questioned, Ned denies his identity:
  • Ned: “I ain’t got no sister.”
  • Sam: “Who is Sylvia?”
  • Ned: “Keep the 50 and forget the whole pitch.”
• The mystery deepens with various sideshow acts, culminating in the “Three Death Defying Darlings”—a trio of female stunt performers suspiciously similar in build...

5. The Three Darlings: The Secret Revealed

[21:23] – [23:30]

• In a backstage confrontation:
  • Sam: “How did you meet yourself coming on with the snakes when you went out in coveralls?”
  • Sylvia: “Oh, zippers. I was wearing the snakes underneath all the time.”
• The act is a ruse. Sylvia is a master of disguise and daredevilry, faking her deaths in elaborate schemes with Calhoun. Each “wife’s” demise was theatrical trickery, not murder.
  • Sylvia confesses: “It’s simple relaxation. Secret of everything. I could teach you that. Sam. Darling, Jeff could never learn it.”

6. Doublecrosses and Denouement

[24:49] – [25:30]

• Calhoun tracks Sylvia and Sam, demanding the insurance policy at gunpoint.
• Sylvia reveals the “safe” (her snake’s basket), leading Calhoun into a deadly trap (a venomous snake).
• Sam: “Don’t move, Spade. If you do, I’ll bless you.”
  • Calhoun is bitten, but Sam notes he’ll survive—barely.

7. Wrap-Up: Moral Ambiguities & Wordplay

[26:14] – [28:59]

• In his report, Sam notes the legal predicament: “Three darling sisters listed as U.S. citizens and residents of California. It might be hard to figure out which one of her to indict.”
• Playful banter with secretary Effie about grammar and the nature of women who fake deaths for a living.
  • Effie: “No normal girl would do that, Sam.”
  • Sam: “I don’t know. Women do all kinds of work."
• Sam reassures Effie, “I wouldn’t trade you for 30 cents worth of snake charmers.”

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Bluebeard’s Past:

  • “Wife number one, an aviatrix, bailed out at 10,000ft over Mount Hood… His parachute opened, hers didn’t.” ([05:04])
  • “Wife number two, a snake dancer, died of snakebite… body embalmed by mistake before the coroner arrived.”
  • “Number three, a professional stuntwoman, disappeared over Niagara Falls in a beer keg…”

• On Faking Her Own Deaths:

  • Sam: “How did you drop 10,000ft without a parachute?”
    • Sylvia: “Crash landed the plane, set fire to it… Weighted flight suit.” ([23:00])
  • On snakebite:
    • Sylvia: “Jeff just claimed somebody from the morgue that nobody else wanted.” ([23:20])

• Comic Banter:

  • Effie: “Snake charmers of that type are a dime a dozen.”
    • Sam: “Here’s 20 cents. Phone up that place.” ([28:28])

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Key Timestamps

• [03:54] — Ned Towers hires Sam, relates Bluebeard’s deadly pattern.
• [07:18] — Sam meets Sylvia; flirtation, backstory, and fatalistic humor.
• [10:15] — Calhoun arrives, tries to bribe and recruit Sam in murder plot.
• [14:50] — Sam investigates at the carnival, discovers Ned as a fire-eater.
• [21:23] — Sylvia’s act revealed; her and her sisters’ escape artistry debunk murder accusations.
• [24:49] — Calhoun confronts, is bitten by the snake, plot resolves.
• [26:14] — Epilogue with playful discussion of grammar, sisterhood, and outré female talent.

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Episode Tone & Appeal

Fast-paced, sharp-witted, and teeming with noir atmosphere, the episode blends danger, dark humor, and outlandish show-business twists. The interplay between Spade and Sylvia drips with innuendo and double meanings. The outlandish plot, rooted in sideshow theatrics and identity tricks, is quintessential Sam Spade: satirical, cynical, and always just a little ahead of its audience.

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For New Listeners

You don’t need to be a fan of old-time radio to appreciate the episode’s clever plot, punchy dialogue, and sardonic worldview. If you like hard-boiled detectives, femme fatales, and stories where nothing is quite what it seems, this “Bluebeard Caper” serves up all the tropes with a sly wink and plenty of style.

Transcript

[Sylvia Towers]

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[Sam Spade]

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[Sylvia Towers]

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[Sam Spade]

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[Sylvia Towers]

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[Narrator/Announcer]

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[Sylvia Towers]

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[Narrator/Announcer]

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[Sam Spade]

My church too.

[Sylvia Towers]

I love it. I really do.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Welcome to Choice Classic Radio where we bring to you the greatest old time radio shows like us on Facebook. Subscribe to us on YouTube and thank you for [e-mail] the Adventures of Sam Spade Detective Brought to you by Wild Root Cream Oil Hair Tonic, the non alcoholic hair tonic that contains lanolin Wild Root Cream Oil again and again, the choice of men who put good grooming first.

[Sylvia Towers]

Sam Spade Detective Agency.

[Sam Spade]

C' est moi, sweetheart.

[Sylvia Towers]

Oh, Sam. How did it go?

[Sam Spade]

Well, it wasn't exactly a 10 in 1 outfit. More of a mud show dog and pony type, you know, rag front.

[Sylvia Towers]

Sam, what are you talking about?

[Sam Spade]

Hmm?

[Sylvia Towers]

And by the way, where were you last night?

[Sam Spade]

I missed the last bus in from the Cow palace, so I had to do a star pitch. Carny talk effort.

[Sylvia Towers]

Oh, if you think I'm going to ask what a star pitch is, you're mistaken. What were you doing at the Car Palace?

[Sam Spade]

Oh, just bullying around.

[Sylvia Towers]

Oh, Sam. Yes, Sam.

[Sam Spade]

Yes, Sam, you ask too many questions, sweetheart. In the patois of the carnival, I'll be right down to pitch my spiel. Spiel My pitch and make with the canvas on the Bluebeard caper.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Daishel Hammett, America's leading detective fiction writer and creator of Sam Spade, the Hard Boiled Private Eye, and William Spear, radio's outstanding producer director of mystery and crime drama, join their talents to make your hair stand on end with the Adventures of Sam Spade presented by the makers of Wild Root Cream Oil for the hair. Say, mom, if the summer winds are making Junior's hair drier and muscier than it should be, why not borrow a little of Dad's Wild Root Cream Oil and restore that sweet, angelic look you'll find. Wild Root Cream Oil hair tonic comes in handy for every member of the family. It grooms the hair so neatly and naturally, relieves that summer dryness and removes loose dandruff, too. Better check on your supply right now. If it's running low, then tonight or tomorrow, first thing gets yet. Wild Root Cream Oil Hair Tonic Again and again, the choice of men who put good grooming first. And now with Howard Duff starring as Spade, Wildroot brings to the air the greatest private detective of them all in the Adventures of Sam Spade.

[Sam Spade]

Ready, Effie?

[Sylvia Towers]

Yes, ma'. Am. By the way, what is a star pit? Oh, your clothes. You look as if you slept on the ground.

[Sam Spade]

That's what it is.

[Jeff Calhoun]

Date?

[Sam Spade]

August 8, 1948. 2. Detective Lieutenant Dunley, Homicide Detail, San Francisco police. From Samuel Spade, license number 127596. Subject, the Bluebeard Caper. I will not offer as an extenuating circumstance the fact that business is bad all over. But it is true that I had been sitting in my office for four hours and the phone had not rung once. This one didn't phone. From the looks of him, he didn't have the required nickel. But the hangover he was wearing under his eyes had cost someone a pretty penny. So I figured his credit might be good somewhere.

[Ned Towers]

Mr. Spade?

[Sam Spade]

Yeah?

[Ned Towers]

Oh, my head.

[Sam Spade]

Here, try this. Oh. Want it mixed?

[Ned Towers]

Oh, no, no, no. Soda. Couldn't stand the noise.

[Sam Spade]

Where'd you wake up in these same clothes? Figures.

[Ned Towers]

It all started at my sister's engagement party. Mint juleps. They must have been full of fluke.

[Sam Spade]

Em. Flukem.

[Ned Towers]

You don't happen to have an ice bag?

[Sam Spade]

It's customary for my clients to bring their own.

[Ned Towers]

Well, now, here's a spiel. Did I tell you my name?

[Sam Spade]

The name he gave my secretary was Ned Towers. You want to stick with that?

[Ned Towers]

Yeah, Ned. Ned Towers.

[Jeff Calhoun]

Yeah.

[Ned Towers]

It's about my sister. She's her name. Sylvia.

[Carnival Performer]

Sylvia.

[Sam Spade]

Sylvia Towers. Sylvia Towers.

[Ned Towers]

But it's not about her, really. It's about that Bluebird. I mean, Bluebird. She's marrying Jefferson Davis Calhoun.

[Sam Spade]

What about him?

[Ned Towers]

Oh, that. That marriage has got to be stopped. I found out that his name's not Calhoun at all. That he's been married three times under three different names, and that all his wives died mysteriously and that he collected their insurance. And now he's talked my sister into insuring herself for 100,000 bucks in his pay rate.

[Sam Spade]

When did you learn all this?

[Ned Towers]

In a barbershop yesterday.

[Sam Spade]

Oh.

[Ned Towers]

I went in to get a manicure and I picked up this old detective magazine. Here's his picture.

[Carnival Performer]

Look at it.

[Sam Spade]

I had heard of the case in his heyday. The papers had called him the Mint Jewel of Romeo. And any name he happened to be using at the time had Colonel in front of it. None of his three wives had survived the honeymoon. Wife number one, an aviatrix, bailed out at 10,000ft over Mount Hood along with her husband. His parachute opened, hers didn't they found the body the following spring. Wife number two, a snake dancer, died of snakebite when she squared off with a full fang diamondback instead of her usual non poisonous partner. Cause of death was never officially proven because the body was embalmed by mistake, it said there before the coroner arrived. And finally, number three, a professional stuntwoman disappeared over Niagara Falls in a beer keg instead of her specially designed barrel and was never seen again.

[Ned Towers]

Well, Mr. Spain.

[Sam Spade]

Yeah, but are you sure your sister's fiance, this Calhoun, is the same guy?

[Ned Towers]

Here's a picture of them together. Their engagement photograph. What do you think?

[Sam Spade]

Brunette.

[Ned Towers]

My sister. Redhead. That's him on our left.

[Sam Spade]

Redhead. Well, Mr. Towers, are we going to sit idly by and see another poor girl go to her death? How much money you got?

[Ned Towers]

About a hundred dollars.

[Sam Spade]

I'll take 50.

[Ned Towers]

Now you are going to help.

[Sam Spade]

How much does she already know?

[Ned Towers]

I tried to tell her she's beautiful. She wouldn't even listen. I thought she might listen to you.

[Sam Spade]

I pray she will, Ned. I pray she will. There were two aspects of the case that I wanted to look over more closely. A, Sylvia's red hair and B the red splotches on my client's face. I had a hunch she be suffering from more than a hangover. So I dropped him at the address of a medical friend of mine who specializes in poisons. He said the tests would take most of the afternoon. So I decided to find out who was Sylvia. What was she? Was she as kind as she was fair? Such a face has tricked.

[Sylvia Towers]

Yes?

[Sam Spade]

Yes.

[Sylvia Towers]

I beg your pardon, Ms.

[Sam Spade]

Towers?

[Sylvia Towers]

Yes, I'm Sylvia Towers.

[Sam Spade]

Are you the florist you're expecting? Maybe a detective?

[Sylvia Towers]

Come in.

[Sam Spade]

Thanks, I will.

[Sylvia Towers]

As a matter of fact, I wasn't expecting a florist or anyone else. But I'm glad to see you. I really am.

[Sam Spade]

Huh?

[Sylvia Towers]

Sit down here. I was just relaxing. Oh, no, over here.

[Sam Spade]

Oh, well, why not?

[Sylvia Towers]

There. Isn't this more cozy? Take your hat off. Oh, you'll have me believing you really are a detective.

[Sam Spade]

What do I look like?

[Sylvia Towers]

Well, I'll have to mull it over. Now, don't tell me. Let me dream.

[Sam Spade]

Look, Sylvia, Ms. Powers, I mean.

[Sylvia Towers]

Oh, Sylvia, I like the way you dress nice and casual.

[Sam Spade]

Oh, you do?

[Sylvia Towers]

But you know, you really should wear a handkerchief.

[Sam Spade]

Hey, hey.

[Sylvia Towers]

You ticklish?

[Sam Spade]

Now, look, if you want to frisk me, get it over with. It's your apartment. You got a right to.

[Sylvia Towers]

Isn't this way nice?

[Sam Spade]

Sure, it's fine. It's just that, you know, I Just didn't expect. I just didn't expect.

[Sylvia Towers]

What do you want, a butterfly act?

[Sam Spade]

No, it's just that my failings have hurt. You haven't asked me who I am or what I'm doing here, anything.

[Sylvia Towers]

Oh, I don't care. I like you.

[Sam Spade]

Is this how you got engaged to Calhoun?

[Sylvia Towers]

No. He was selling some phony stock certificates, so I bought a few.

[Sam Spade]

They were phony, so you bought a few?

[Sylvia Towers]

He'd had bad luck with marriage. It was the only way I could force the issue.

[Sam Spade]

You're forcing him into marrying you?

[Sylvia Towers]

Darling, don't be so critical. I did it very nicely.

[Sam Spade]

I'm sure you did. But why?

[Sylvia Towers]

Oh, I don't know. He's so. So courtly. A real Southern gentleman.

[Sam Spade]

How real?

[Sylvia Towers]

Hand me that cushion, darling. No, here, behind my head. Oh, that's better. Oh, don't go away.

[Sam Spade]

Why do you want to be number four on the Bluebeard parade?

[Sylvia Towers]

Do you really think he did kill them?

[Sam Spade]

That's one of two theories. He either did or he didn't.

[Sylvia Towers]

Oh, I love your hair. So nice. Bristly. Does this bother you?

[Sam Spade]

Yeah, but don't stop now. Wait a minute. Look, I've. I got my client to think about, and I'm. I'm trying to think about it. Darling, I didn't want to take this assignment, but he really seemed to be worried about you.

[Sylvia Towers]

Oh, now, who on earth would be worried about me?

[Sam Spade]

I'm a little worried about you myself, and I'm not even distantly related to you.

[Sylvia Towers]

Don't say that yet. This marriage may not last long.

[Sam Spade]

Don't you say that.

[Sylvia Towers]

Oh, I know his marital life has been full of tragedy, but I'm not superstitious. I think I may change his look.

[Sam Spade]

Okay, Sylvia, okay. It's your life. I told your brother I'd talk to you, and I have.

[Sylvia Towers]

My brother?

[Sam Spade]

Yeah. Ned. I think maybe your boyfriend tried to poison him last night.

[Sylvia Towers]

Oh, no. Oh, Jeff, you're just in time.

[Jeff Calhoun]

Well, my dear, we will discuss this further in private. I have only this to say. At the present time, in the south, it is not customary for a lady to receive a gentleman alone just prior to her marriage to another gentleman. But, Jeff, I know your motives were pure and innocent. Customs differ, that's all. I am Colonel Calhoun. At your service, sir.

[Sam Spade]

I'll call you when I need you.

[Jeff Calhoun]

I'm afraid I must ask you to remain, Sylvia.

[Sylvia Towers]

Oh, Jeff, I meant to tell you. It was just a flirtation. I didn't think it.

[Jeff Calhoun]

You mean she didn't think he made Certain proposals.

[Sylvia Towers]

Well, what did I do?

[Sam Spade]

What could she do?

[Sylvia Towers]

He said there were things in your past, Jeff.

[Sam Spade]

Yeah, that's what I said.

[Jeff Calhoun]

Oh, there, there, my dear.

[Sylvia Towers]

It was blackmail.

[Sam Spade]

That's all I wanted.

[Sylvia Towers]

I did it for you.

[Jeff Calhoun]

Go to your chambers, Sylvia. I will deal with this adventurer. If this were the south, there would be better ways. But never fear, where there's a Calhoun, there too you will find Southern chivalry.

[Sam Spade]

Please, no.

[Sylvia Towers]

Jeff, phone the police.

[Jeff Calhoun]

Sylvia, I must insist that you do as I say.

[Sylvia Towers]

Very well, Jeff. You know best.

[Jeff Calhoun]

Well, sir, how about you and me putting our heads together over little old Medjula?

[Sam Spade]

Thanks, I'm not thirsty yet. What's the fetch, Colonel? How came your girlfriend yelled, hey, rube, just now?

[Jeff Calhoun]

What is your asking price, sir?

[Sam Spade]

What's your bid?

[Jeff Calhoun]

5,000 now, 5,000 after she's buried. 20,000 after the insurance people pays off.

[Sam Spade]

No dice. Cape is worth a hundred grand. Fifty for me, fifty for you.

[Jeff Calhoun]

That is out of the question, sir.

[Sam Spade]

Okay, from here I go to the cot.

[Jeff Calhoun]

Now, son, let's not be hasty about this. It will require a slight change of plan, but I reckon I can swing it.

[Sam Spade]

All right. 50. 50. When are you gonna knock her off?

[Jeff Calhoun]

You want her to fly the coop?

[Sam Spade]

Is there another way out of here?

[Jeff Calhoun]

Well, not that I know of, but she's crafty.

[Sam Spade]

She's crafty. Well, come on, let's get it over.

[Jeff Calhoun]

Yes, you're right. Maybe. Now or never.

[Sam Spade]

That's right, Sylvia. Up. Hey, wait a minute. Come here.

[Jeff Calhoun]

What is it?

[Sam Spade]

How are you gonna do it?

[Jeff Calhoun]

Well, hit her with this and then out the window.

[Sam Spade]

Let me see then. It's got quite a heft to it. Where'd you get this SAP?

[Jeff Calhoun]

Souvenir of Niagara Falls.

[Sam Spade]

Know where you're gonna get it?

[Jeff Calhoun]

Why, you Yankee.

[Sam Spade]

The souvenir of Niagara Falls was deadlier than I thought. The blow spun him around like a top and he went down on the other side of the room. Taking the bar and the mint julep ingredients along with him, I headed for the room Sylvia disappeared into. But she had already disappeared of it. I looked in the closets, the bathroom under the bed, tap the walls for secret panels, and then forced myself to look out the only possible exit, the open window. Ten stories, sheer drop to the street. Two stories, sheer, unclimbable masonry to the roof. I get this, Dundee. No other exit. No horizontal ledges, drain pipes, niches, cornices. Not even a helicopter landing. I asked myself, who is Sylvia? What is she?

[Narrator/Announcer]

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[Sam Spade]

There was no use wasting any time trying to figure out how Sylvia had done whatever she had done to escape from that escape proof room. There was nothing of interest in it but a diving helmet, deep sea dive and the current issue of Billboard, a magazine which records the movements of show people under carnivals and tent shows. An item was circled Colonel Carlisle's car Colossal Carnival and tent show which was currently playing San Francisco out by the Cow palace that reminded me of the Colonel in the next room. I went in to hit him again, but somehow his not being there didn't surprise me a bit. What I found on the roof did surprise me a little. It was a rope and grappling hook human fly type which fitted with the circusy aspect the caper was beginning to take on. I'd never have taken Sylvia for a stunt woman. I did a deep knee bend to get into condition for what lay ahead, slid down the banister to the top floor, somersaulted into an elevator and rode it down to the lobby. No hands. Pausing only to acknowledge the applause of the scrub woman. I skated on over to the phone booth.

[Sylvia Towers]

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[Sam Spade]

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[Sylvia Towers]

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[Narrator/Announcer]

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[Sylvia Towers]

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[Sam Spade]

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[Sylvia Towers]

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[Sam Spade]

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[Sylvia Towers]

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[Sam Spade]

So there's hands like tonight. Dr. Mandel's office. Bernie. Sam Spade. Oh, say, I'm glad you called, Sam. That patient you brought in here, Ned Tower? Yeah, what about him? Well, your hunch was right. There was enough poison in him to kill him twice. And that in all. Hey, Dead? No. Then what's all? Well, his stomach had enough foreign objects in it to keep all the newspapers in town in Monday morning feature stories for the rest of the year. What type foreign objects? Oh, glassware, spoons, hunting knives. Nothing valuable. Where'd you send him? Oh, he wasn't the hospital case, Sam. Enough poison to kill him twice. Glassware, spoons, hunting knives. And not a hospital case, huh? The poison, he's developed an immunity. The other stuff, it's harmless. Harmless? Do you want me to send you the complete report? No, no, forget it, Verney. You've given me enough thanks. From then on, Dundee, it was mostly entertainment. I headed for the carnival grounds outside the town and Colonel Carlisle's Carlosal carnival and tent show unfolded before my very eyes just west of the Cow Palace. By All Aces, I'm brought to in.

[Narrator/Announcer]

The interests of artistic endeavor, Mademoiselle Mahala.

[Sam Spade]

The favorite dancing girl of the Sultan.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Of Zanzibar, brought direct from the perfume.

[Sam Spade]

Gardens of the mystic Orient. Every muscle of a gorgeous body shapes.

[Carnival Performer]

And now, now, ladies and gentlemen, in the interest of science and the furtherance of national defense, one of the medical miracles of the 20th century. Ladies and gentlemen, the man with the iron stomach and the asbestos esophagus, Professor De la Tour. Professor, if you please, sir, give the folks a sample of your control over the fiery elements. I will light the torch and hand it to the professor. And now, professor, if you will find.

[Sam Spade]

The coach dancer left me cold. But the fire eating professor, I thought it was none other than my client, a man who called himself Ned Towers. I moved as close to the platform as I could without setting fire to myself and caught his eye. When he caught mine, it singed my eyelashes.

[Ned Towers]

Hey, scram.

[Sam Spade]

Oh, I got my act to do.

[Ned Towers]

I can't talk to nobody.

[Sam Spade]

Where's the Colonel?

[Ned Towers]

Hey, there ain't any colonel.

[Sam Spade]

Just for the banner tackle. Where's your sister?

[Ned Towers]

I ain't got no sister.

[Sam Spade]

Then who is? Sylvia.

[Ned Towers]

Hey, do me a favor, shammas. Keep the 50 and forget the whole pitch.

[Carnival Performer]

Now be it, huh?

[Sam Spade]

Oh, I want to see the show.

[Ned Towers]

Okay, you paid for your duck. Stare your eyes out if you want to. Okay, Butcher. Start squawking, they're dripping away.

[Carnival Performer]

And ladies and gentlemen, that was only a sample. Only a sample? Why, he eats the stone and throws the beach away. And he uses powdered poison on his soft boiled eggs. Now tell me if you will, is there a doctor in the powder?

[Sam Spade]

I drifted on down the midway. There was Puna, Puna, Nature Boy, Gilda and Hilda, the Siamese twins. There was Shorty the fat man and Fatty the short man. A bearded lady and several natural freaks of nature. At the very end there was a big canvas enclosure. The act was called the Three Death Defying Darlings. From the noise inside, I judged that to be an understatement. I bought a ticket and got inside just in time to see a trim, energetic blonde and tailored coveralls crawl out of the twisted wreckage of the car she'd just driven point blank into a concrete wall at an advertised speed of 80 miles an hour. She took a bow, tripped lightly out of the ring and a brunette about the same size and shape but wearing a costume consisting mainly of three live rattlesnakes past her coming in. I swear she did. I also swear that she danced so well I didn't even notice that the snakes. After I got used to them, before the lead snake had taken its final bow and wriggled out of sight, a redhead in green coveralls appeared at the top of a 60 foot tower. She climbed into a barrel and some stupid fool pushed her off. The tank she landed in was no more than three feet across and couldn't have had more than a foot of water in it. But she emerged from the splinters with her face wet and some of the greasy carnival type makeup washed off. The red headed branch of the Death Defying Darlings was, you guessed it, that miraculous escape artist. The one and only Sylvia. I was anxious to meet the rest of the act, so I vaulted over the canvas to their trailer dressing room. There was a sinister buzzing sound at my ankles as I entered. I jumped out of the way just in time to miss getting bitten by one of the brunette's dancing partners. The diamondback. Sylvia looked at me pityingly, grabbed it expertly just behind the head and shoved it down into its basket.

[Sylvia Towers]

Damn. You should have known better than to come in here unannounced. Strangers make Salome terribly nervous.

[Sam Spade]

Then we're Raven.

[Sylvia Towers]

How did you know I was here?

[Sam Spade]

I didn't. I was looking for my client.

[Sylvia Towers]

Then you are working for Ned?

[Sam Spade]

Who else?

[Sylvia Towers]

When I heard you bargaining with Jeff, I didn't know what to think. Before that I'd been so sure.

[Sam Spade]

Look, sweetheart, I haven't been sure of Anything in this caper from the start. Least of all you. No matter how sure I get, I still won't believe it.

[Sylvia Towers]

Look at me, Sam. Touch me. I'm only flesh and blood.

[Sam Spade]

Yeah. Well, anyhow, how did you meet yourself coming on with the snakes when you went out in the coveralls?

[Sylvia Towers]

Oh, zippers. I was wearing the snakes underneath all the time.

[Sam Spade]

Snakes. Doesn't the autocrats make them nervous?

[Sylvia Towers]

Oh, no, they're used to it. Mother trained them. That was after Father.

[Sam Spade]

Never mind your family. Let's talk about you, all three of you.

[Sylvia Towers]

Well, after Mother and Father. Well, the act was a threesome, you see, and they wouldn't keep me on as a single. So Jeff Calhoun worked out a routine so only one of me would be on at one time.

[Sam Spade]

That figures. How often do you come out of it alive?

[Sylvia Towers]

You mustn't say things like that, even in joking. I'm terribly out of condition. I haven't had a real workout since.

[Sam Spade]

You went over Niagara Falls in that beer keg. And by the way, how did you manage that?

[Sylvia Towers]

It's simple relaxation. Secret of everything. I could teach you that. Sam. Darling, Jeff could never learn it.

[Sam Spade]

How long do you think we'd get away with it?

[Sylvia Towers]

Sweetheart, aren't you taking rather a lot for granted?

[Sam Spade]

Maybe not enough. So far as I know, you've only been killed and resurrected three times.

[Sylvia Towers]

Darling, if it frightens you, I promise I'll never do it again.

[Sam Spade]

How did you drop 10,000ft without a parachute?

[Sylvia Towers]

Oh, that Mount Hood stunt. I crash landed the plane, set fire to it.

[Sam Spade]

There were witnesses. Something dropped?

[Sylvia Towers]

Nothing but a weighted flight suit.

[Sam Spade]

Whose body was that they found?

[Sylvia Towers]

There are always bodies when the snow melts. By the time they get to them, they could be anybody.

[Sam Spade]

Well, that's a relief. What about that other body?

[Sylvia Towers]

Which other one, darling?

[Sam Spade]

When you were embalmed after the snake bite. Oh.

[Sylvia Towers]

Oh, well, Jeff just claimed somebody from the morgue that nobody else wanted. Don't be so critical, darling. We didn't hurt anybody.

[Sam Spade]

Better not try to tell that to those insurance companies.

[Sylvia Towers]

Well, they should be happy. Jeff says it helps them with their taxes.

[Sam Spade]

Does it make you happy, dying and being dug up every year or so?

[Sylvia Towers]

Well, it's better than doing it every night. But I couldn't go back to Jeff. He lost his nerve after Ned found out. You see, Ned's the only one left who knew me in the old days. If I were dead, he couldn't prove anything. Jeff really meant to kill me this time.

[Sam Spade]

What was Ned after? Blackmail?

[Sylvia Towers]

Oh, no. He wanted Me back with the show. He hired you to frighten Jeff into letting me go. After all, I am the best threesome in the business. Well, anyway, in the stunt field. Did you see my review on Billboard?

[Sam Spade]

I saw for myself.

[Sylvia Towers]

You know something? I was thinking. With all you know about crime.

[Sam Spade]

Don't say it.

[Sylvia Towers]

But, darling, it's so easy. And we could have a honeymoon. Every time I. I came back and we got married again.

[Sam Spade]

Thanks for the offer, but if I get married, I want my wife to stay alive every night.

[Sylvia Towers]

But I wouldn't really be dead. Only legally, for the insurance. Only legally. Sam.

[Sam Spade]

Come here.

[Sylvia Towers]

Sam, darling.

[Sam Spade]

Look, sweetheart, let's not relax. You're not safe. Not as long as that insurance policy is floating around with Jeff's name on it as beneficiary.

[Sylvia Towers]

He'd never think of looking for me here.

[Sam Spade]

Well, Sam, you better take that policy into town in the morning and make some changes. Where is it?

[Sylvia Towers]

Oh, it's in my safe.

[Sam Spade]

You got a safe here in this trailer?

[Sylvia Towers]

Well, it's just a secret place. I only call it a safe, but it is safe.

[Jeff Calhoun]

I thought I'd find you here, but I hardly expected to see Mr. Spade.

[Sam Spade]

You don't surprise me a bit. Bluebeard.

[Sylvia Towers]

Hello, Jeff. Sit down. Stop waving that revolver. What do you want?

[Jeff Calhoun]

That policy. I heard every word you two have been saying. Not that that piece of paper means anything. You won't even be around when the bank's open. But having the original policy in my hand will save a lot of delay. Red tape, of course.

[Sylvia Towers]

Jeff.

[Jeff Calhoun]

Where is it?

[Sylvia Towers]

Oh, what's the use? It's in the basket right by the side of your chair.

[Sam Spade]

Wait a minute.

[Jeff Calhoun]

Don't move, Spade. If you do, I'll bless you.

[Sam Spade]

Listen to me. Don't raise that safe.

[Jeff Calhoun]

Still a child, aren't you, Sylvia?

[Sam Spade]

Don't do it, Calhoun. Don't do it. And that Lieutenant Dare took the lid right off of the caper. Due to my Boy Scout training, my split second timing, and the fact that Salome's fang missed an artery by a 30th of an inch. I understand Calhoun will live long enough. Which, as far as I'm concerned, is any length of time you care to name about Sylvia. I really don't know how to advise you there. But if you're planning on charging her with attempted homicide, you'll find that there are three darling sisters listed as US Citizens and residents of California. It might be hard to figure out which one of her to indict.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Period.

[Sam Spade]

End of nightmare. Alley. Bluebeard Division. Any questions?

[Sylvia Towers]

F. Oh, just one, Sam. A grammatical error, but I'll correct it.

[Sam Spade]

And just whom do you think you are to be correcting my grammar?

[Sylvia Towers]

Who? Sam. Nominated case nominal. Nominated Sam. The most frequently used cases in English are nominative, accusative and possessive. I'm referring to your sentence which reads, it might be hard to figure out which one of her to indict. Of course you meant them since they're three darling sisters. Her being singular.

[Sam Spade]

Indeed, her was singular, Auntie.

[Sylvia Towers]

Oh, Sam, you made a joke.

[Sam Spade]

That's a very small one. Now type that up and leave my grammar as is. It's colorful.

[Sylvia Towers]

Oh, very well, Sam. I'll just fix the syntax as I go along.

[Sam Spade]

Syntax in California.

[Narrator/Announcer]

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[Sylvia Towers]

Here it is, Sam, you are quite right. She was only one girl. So I left it to her and made the correction back.

[Sam Spade]

Farther back.

[Sylvia Towers]

Where Twinkle toes Prior Twinkle toes. You know, where you said three darling sisters. I changed it to one.

[Sam Spade]

That's impossible. It takes two to make a sister.

[Sylvia Towers]

That is not funny, Sam.

[Sam Spade]

Who's laughing?

[Sylvia Towers]

It's no laughing matter, Sam. After all that Sylvia or the darling sister, whatever she's. I don't care if she can go over Niagara Falls in a barrel.

[Sam Spade]

Let's get it right. A beer keg.

[Sylvia Towers]

In fact, the only funny thing is you being taken in. After all, snake charmers of that type are a dime a dozen.

[Sam Spade]

Here's 20 cents. Phone up that place.

[Sylvia Towers]

What place?

[Sam Spade]

Where you get the red headed snake charmers. 12 for 10 cents.

[Sylvia Towers]

Dime a dozen. Sam, it's a figment of speech.

[Sam Spade]

You can say that against we. Huh?

[Sylvia Towers]

Pretending to be three people all with different hair, wearing snakes under a coverall.

[Sam Spade]

Oh, okay.

[Sylvia Towers]

No normal girl would do that, Sam.

[Sam Spade]

I don't know. Women do all kinds of work.

[Sylvia Towers]

Oh, Sam, why can't I be an adventurous like some girls are?

[Sam Spade]

I wouldn't trade you for 30 cents worth of snake charmers.

[Sylvia Towers]

Oh, Sam, that's the nicest thing you ever said.

[Sam Spade]

Well, next to the nicest.

[Sylvia Towers]

Good night.

[Sam Spade]

Good night. Salome.

[Jeff Calhoun]

Twinkle.

[Narrator/Announcer]

The Adventures of Sam Spade, Dashiell Hammett's famous private detective, are produced and directed by William Speer. Sam Spade is played by Howard Dove. Lorene Tuttle is Effie. The adventures of Sam Spade are written for radio by Bob Tolman and Gil Dowd with musical direction by Lud Gluskin. Join us again next Sunday when author Dashiell Hammett and producer William Spear join forces for another adventure with Sam Spade, brought to you by Wild Root Cream Oil. Again and again, the choice of men who put good grooming first. This is Dick Joy reminding you to get Wild Root Cream oil, Charlie. It keeps your hair in trim. You see, it's non alcoholic, Charlie. It's made with soothing lanolin. You better get Wild Root Cream oil, Charlie. Start using it today. You'll find that you will have a tough time, Charlie, keeping all the gals away. Hiya, baldy. Get wild root right away. This is cbs, the Columbia Broadcasting System.