The Adventures of Sam Spade: The Honest Thief Caper (Rehearsal) 05/13/1950

Summary

Summary of "The Adventures of Sam Spade: The Honest Thief Caper (Rehearsal) 05/13/1950"

Introduction

In this riveting episode of Choice Classic Radio Detectives, hosted by Choice Classic Radio, listeners are transported back to the Golden Age of Radio with "The Adventures of Sam Spade: The Honest Thief Caper." The story unfolds in San Francisco, where the renowned private detective Sam Spade finds himself entangled in a complex case that challenges his integrity and loyalty.

The Case of Ben Kamiskey

The episode begins with Effie Perine, an associate of Sam Spade, reaching out to inform him about Ben Kamiskey, a former high school acquaintance implicated in a robbery case. At [02:24], Effie states, “Ben Kamisky. C O M I S K I. Sam,” highlighting the gravity of the situation.

Sam Spade, portrayed with his signature grit, questions Effie’s account:

Sam Spade [02:08]: "He won’t tell you anything. Kept his trap shut all the time he's been here."

Despite Ben's quiet demeanor and lack of prior records, Sam remains skeptical about the accusations, especially when Ben voluntarily takes responsibility:

Sam Spade [07:23]: "I didn’t want furniture at $10 a month for the next 80 months. I didn't want a car... I got caught and to go and find a guy who can pay the way."

Suspicion Arises

Effie delves deeper into Ben’s background, uncovering inconsistencies that suggest Ben may be innocent. She conducts interviews and discovers that Ben was a respectable employee at Allied Architects, poised for a promotion:

Effie Perine [08:14]: "Ben Comiskey was tall, dark complexioned... regular features. Not good, not bad."

Further investigation leads Effie to Ben’s mother, Mrs. Anastasia Comiskey, played by Louise Miller. Initially dismissive, Mrs. Comiskey reveals the strain within her family, hinting at darker undercurrents:

Mrs. Comiskey [09:30]: "Ben’s good and kind and sweet, and I love him... Always one good son, one bad son."

The Tragic Attempt

Effie’s suspicions are confirmed when she discovers that Louise Miller, Ben’s fiancée, has attempted suicide. Upon examining Louise’s apartment, Effie notices anomalies that point towards foul play rather than a genuine suicide attempt:

Effie Perine [11:09]: "If she were going to commit suicide, she wouldn't have called first... I owed it to her to poke around the ashes while they were still hot."

Her investigation reveals that someone tampered with the gas in Louise's apartment, indicating a possible cover-up of the true culprit behind the robbery.

Confronting the Iceman

Effie identifies Claude Bettering, known as "The Iceman," a notorious figure involved in criminal activities. Her pursuit leads her to a tense confrontation at the Red Spot Cafe:

Effie Perine [16:38]: "You stinking creep." Sam Spade [17:05]: "Never heard of her. Sounds cute, though."

The encounter escalates into a physical altercation, showcasing Sam Spade's volatile nature and his reluctance to involve himself further, despite the mounting evidence against him.

The Revelation

As Effie inches closer to the truth, she uncovers Sam Spade’s deeper involvement. It is revealed that Sam’s brother, Jim Comiskey, is the actual mastermind behind the robbery and the subsequent framing of Ben Kamiskey. Sam, torn between family loyalty and his moral compass, admits to covering for his brother:

Sam Spade [21:07]: "I did it for him. And he tries to kill my girl."

Effie confronts Sam with the evidence, leading to his confession and the unraveling of the deceit that has plagued the case. Sam admits his wrongdoing, demonstrating the personal costs of his choices:

Sam Spade [21:08]: "He held up that liquor store, but he's on parole... I did this for him."

Conclusion

The episode concludes with Effie wrapping up her investigation, highlighting the tragic consequences of misplaced loyalty and the relentless pursuit of truth. Sam Spade’s downfall serves as a poignant reminder of the thin line between honor and betrayal within the world of private detectives.

Notable Quotes

• Effie Perine [03:31]: "Louise Miller, you may go and do that. Instruct them that if such a mistake occurs again, I shall take my account elsewheres."

• Sam Spade [07:45]: "I got caught and to go and find a guy who can pay the way."

• Effie Perine [16:46]: "Girls are a lot easier to push around, aren't they, Claude?"

• Sam Spade [21:07]: "I did this for him. And he tries to kill my girl."

Themes and Insights

"The Honest Thief Caper" delves into themes of loyalty, betrayal, and the moral complexities faced by those in the shadows of society. Through Sam Spade’s internal conflict and Effie Perine’s unwavering determination, the episode explores the cost of secrets and the pursuit of honesty in a world rife with deception.

Listeners are left contemplating the essence of integrity and the fine balance between personal ties and ethical obligations, making this episode a standout installment in the Sam Spade series.

Transcript

[Sam Spade]

Your message amplified.

[Effie Perine]

Ready to share your message with the world? Start your podcast journey with Podbean.

[Louise Miller]

Podbean.

[Sam Spade]

Podbean. Podbean.

[Louise Miller]

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[Sam Spade]

Thousands of businesses and enterprises trust Podbean to launch their podcasts.

[Louise Miller]

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[Sam Spade]

My school uses Podbean.

[Effie Perine]

My church too.

[Louise Miller]

I love it.

[Sam Spade]

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[Effie Perine]

Welcome to Choice Classic Radio, where we bring to you the greatest old time radio shows like us on Facebook. Subscribe to us on YouTube and thank you for [e-mail].

[Louise Miller]

Sam Spade Detective Agency.

[Effie Perine]

Me. Sam, it's you on the filter and in the flesh. Any messages, phone calls, letters, telegrams?

[Louise Miller]

Just the usual. A bill for the landlord and a notice from the telephone company.

[Effie Perine]

Well, dispose of them as usual.

[Louise Miller]

You sound awfully chipper. Have you been on a case, Sam? Did you make some money?

[Effie Perine]

Yes, I've been on a case. No, I did not make any money.

[Louise Miller]

Oh. Your client got murdered before he could pay you.

[Effie Perine]

Wrong again. My client was a woman. She did not get murdered. And she could pay me.

[Louise Miller]

Huh?

[Effie Perine]

And she did.

[Louise Miller]

But you just said she didn't.

[Effie Perine]

True, Effie. True things are not what they seem.

[Louise Miller]

I'm a little confused you just said that.

[Effie Perine]

And I meant every word of it. Stop registering bewilderment. All. All is paradox. So sharpen your pencils, straighten your seams, get out your notebook and prepare to be confounded by the contradictions. I shall contradictate to you during my report on the honest thief caper. I'm not looking over for the clover.

[Louise Miller]

Oh, hello.

[Effie Perine]

Leg alert, girl. We have many things to do. Up.

[Sam Spade]

Up.

[Louise Miller]

Yes, yes. You say the strangest things on the phone.

[Sam Spade]

I don't.

[Louise Miller]

I. I don't believe I quite understood what it was all about.

[Effie Perine]

A natural misunderstanding. I didn't understand it myself. Date to Sergeant Frank Nilgas, robbery detail, San Francisco Police. You're fast today. Ben Kamisky.

[Louise Miller]

Who?

[Effie Perine]

Ben Kamisky. C O M I S K I. Sam.

[Louise Miller]

I went to Albert High School with a boy named Ben Kamisky. Is he the same one?

[Effie Perine]

Very likely, yeah.

[Louise Miller]

Oh, Sam, tell me, did he turn out bad? Is he good? Did he get married?

[Effie Perine]

Down, Effie.

[Louise Miller]

Sam, I knew. Boy, I want to know this is.

[Effie Perine]

One mystery you're not going to solve by reading the last chapter first. Dear Frank, it was one of those days. The sky was black and it looked like rain. But when I put on my trench coat, the sun came out. At breakfast, it looked like I'd ordered fried eggs, and I wound up with pancakes. Also, I discovered I was wearing one blue sock and one black one. After that, I gave a cab driver a 5 instead of a 1 and let him ride off with a change. And there was one other thing.

[Louise Miller]

Sam. Bank just called. You're overdrawn.

[Effie Perine]

They're nuts. F. I made a deposit two days ago, I checked.

[Louise Miller]

Sam. You didn't.

[Effie Perine]

You're nuts, too. I made out the slip myself and.

[Louise Miller]

Oh, give me. Sam. I'll take it right down.

[Effie Perine]

You better do that, angel.

[Louise Miller]

Yes. Excuse me. Oh. Oh, Can I help you, miss? Is. Is this. This Mr. Spade?

[Effie Perine]

Come right in, miss. Sit down. Miss Perrine, you may go and do that. Instruct them that if such a mistake occurs again, I shall take my account elsewheres.

[Louise Miller]

Yes, sir.

[Effie Perine]

Now, please sit down, miss.

[Louise Miller]

My Name's Louise Miller, Mr. Spade. I. I want to hire you. How much will it cost?

[Effie Perine]

Well, now, Ms. Miller, let's. Let's talk about it a little.

[Louise Miller]

I have much time, Mr. Spade. I have to be at the office in a half an hour, and I have to cross town. You see, I. Well, Mama thinks I should forget all about him, but I can't, and I. Well, here, I. I've got $95. Will you please do something? Just something.

[Effie Perine]

Come on, now. Come on.

[Louise Miller]

I'm sorry, I.

[Effie Perine]

That's all right. Now, who is he? What's he done? And why does Mama want you to forget him?

[Louise Miller]

Ben. Ben Kaminsky.

[Effie Perine]

He's my.

[Louise Miller]

We were going to be married pretty soon. We even picked out our furniture.

[Effie Perine]

I'm out now. It's all right now. Go on. What's he done?

[Louise Miller]

They say he held up a store two nights ago. They picked him up on the street today. He's in jail.

[Effie Perine]

Well, if he's innocent, I'm sure they'll find that out.

[Louise Miller]

He won't even see me, Mr. Spadey. He won't see anyone. Ben's good and kind and sweet, and I love him, and I want to marry him. And I want you to find out why he. What it's all about.

[Effie Perine]

Look, Ms. Miller, I. I think he should be in the office of a good lawyer.

[Louise Miller]

I'm sure he doesn't want a lawyer. He won't even see the public defender. He doesn't want Anything. Oh, please, please, Mr. Spade. I just want to die. If Ben went to prison, I just want to die.

[Effie Perine]

I'm no sentimentalist, but faith is a thing we're a little short on these days. So we came to terms. It was agreed she could pay me after the job was done, if there was any job to do. She left for work and I phoned you, Sergeant Milgus, and found out Ben Comiskey had already been arraigned and was being held in the city jail. When I dropped in 20 minutes later, you walked me back to his cell.

[Sam Spade]

What's it all about, Sam?

[Effie Perine]

Dunno. Just looking into it.

[Sam Spade]

He won't tell you anything. Kept his trap shut all the time he's been here. As far as we've been able to find out. No previous record, no background.

[Effie Perine]

Well, maybe it isn't so bad for him at that, huh?

[Sam Spade]

First degree, Sam. Liquor store proprietor. Man named Potter over on Army Street. Identified him in the. Just like that. Picked him out of a dozen guys we hauled in.

[Effie Perine]

Then what?

[Sam Spade]

Now we send a couple of the boys out to Comiskey's room and find all the dough in the dresser drawer. 900 coins. Now what? Take it easy. Comiskey. This is Sam Spade. He wants to talk to you.

[Effie Perine]

Ben Kaminsky was tall, dark complexioned, about 29 or 30 years old. His hair was black, straight and closely cropped. His features were regular. Not good, not bad. I've seen plenty of hold up men and gun toters in my day and he wouldn't have been cast in the part in my movie. I didn't know what I expected to say to him or what I expected him to say to me. But I didn't expect what I got.

[Sam Spade]

What are you trying to do? Get out of here.

[Effie Perine]

You just got here, Ben.

[Sam Spade]

Well, you can just leave. Hasn't a citizen got any rights, even in jail?

[Effie Perine]

Well, they start to lose him when they use a gun to make a living.

[Sam Spade]

I don't want any lectures.

[Effie Perine]

I haven't got any to hand out. I'm a private detective. A friend of yours hired me. She thinks you're a pretty nice guy.

[Sam Spade]

Louise, huh?

[Effie Perine]

Why won't you see her?

[Sam Spade]

She's nuts. She ought to have a head felt. What's she worrying about anyway?

[Effie Perine]

I'd say she was worrying mostly about you. And I'd say it's the sick kind of worry that gets into a girl when she loves somebody she shouldn't.

[Sam Spade]

She's nuts.

[Effie Perine]

You said that. Did you rob that store?

[Sam Spade]

The guy who runs it says I did. I Suppose I did.

[Effie Perine]

Why?

[Sam Spade]

For laughs.

[Effie Perine]

The complaint says you make 65 bucks a week in an architect's office. You can eat on that.

[Sam Spade]

Look, Spade, go back and tell her this. I didn't want furniture at $10 a month for the next 80 months. I didn't want a car the same way I didn't want her working and me working and getting nothing but wrinkles. Tell her I got caught and to go and find a guy who can pay the way.

[Effie Perine]

Is that all?

[Sam Spade]

That's enough.

[Effie Perine]

You're charged with armed robbery in the first degree. That means not less than five years.

[Sam Spade]

I know it and shut up about it.

[Effie Perine]

Why'd you turn down a lawyer?

[Sam Spade]

Haven't you heard, Spade? They're holding up my indictment. I'm a prize pigeon. They think maybe I knocked over 10 or 12 other places in town.

[Effie Perine]

Pigeon?

[Sam Spade]

Sure, sure. But don't worry about me. And tell Louise not to worry about me. I've got a million bucks salted away, and I'm gonna buy my way out through the DA's office.

[Effie Perine]

Okay, have it your way, Ben. But an hour later, I found myself strolling around Ben Comiskey's old neighborhood. A man named Gabrini, who owned a grocery store, remembered him and liked him. A woman in a bakery shop told me how he'd gone into the army as a private and been discharged. The first lieutenant. A phone call to a Mr. Henderson. Allied Architects revealed that Ben Comiskey was in line for a raise and promotion. All in all, I was getting a composite picture that didn't look quite right. I decided to try his mother's place. It was on Lombard Avenue, a street that starts on the waterfront. According to the penciled note above the doorbell, it was out of order. The slot on the mailbox read Mrs. Anastasia Comiskey.

[Louise Miller]

Yes, what is it, please?

[Effie Perine]

Your Mrs. Comiskey.

[Louise Miller]

I'm busy now. I fix lunch for my son. He come back from Cincinnati. Please.

[Effie Perine]

Oh, well, Mrs. Comiskey, I'm here to talk to you about Ben. He's your son too, isn't he?

[Louise Miller]

Yes, Ben is my son.

[Effie Perine]

Well, I'm trying to help him, Mrs. Kaminsky.

[Louise Miller]

Why? He has no money. I have no money.

[Effie Perine]

A friend of his, Louise Miller, hired me.

[Louise Miller]

Oh, Louise. She's a foolish girl. Very foolish. Her heart should not be with Ben.

[Effie Perine]

I think he's a very lucky man to be loved by somebody like that.

[Louise Miller]

If not for her, Ben would not be in jail, in trouble. Oh, you don't want to help my son. She don't want to help him. She'll leave him alone if she want to help. Ben is bad, not good. Like my son James. James is always good. Times he's away, he sends me money.

[Effie Perine]

From what I hear, Ben's always been pretty good too.

[Louise Miller]

Always one good son, one bad son.

[Effie Perine]

What's going on, mom?

[Sam Spade]

Oh, who's this?

[Louise Miller]

He's come to ask questions about Ben.

[Sam Spade]

Huh? I'm Jim Comiskey, Ben's brother.

[Louise Miller]

Oh my.

[Sam Spade]

You run on in, mom. I'll talk to this gentleman. All right, get out of here.

[Effie Perine]

Look, I'm just trying.

[Sam Spade]

You got any questions to ask about Ben, go to the police. They can give you all the answers. And stop bothering my mother. She's been through enough in the last two days. If I catch you around her again, I'll break you in half.

[Effie Perine]

The man who slammed the door in my face had the same angry look and the same angry glare of Ben Comiskey. The angry Comiskey brothers definitely wanted nothing that looked remotely like help. It seemed to this casual observer. I went back to my office. Away for 6:00. That's when I intended to call my client, report my opinions and drop the case. But at 5:30 she called me.

[Louise Miller]

Mr. Spade? Yeah, this is Louise Miller.

[Effie Perine]

Oh, yes. I was just gonna call you. I'm afraid I haven't been able to do much.

[Louise Miller]

It looks like I know, Mr. Spade. I. I just telephoned downtown. Ben pleaded. Ben pleaded guilty at the indictment this afternoon. He's going to be sentenced tomorrow.

[Effie Perine]

And that to all appearances, Sergeant Milgus was the crop. But two hours later, and for the second time in one day, I found myself doing what I didn't think I'd be doing. Walking around a dull gray two story apoppin house on Adams Place. My ex client's address to be exact. I was wondering what a lonely, distraught girl would be thinking the night before her boyfriend was shipped away to prison. I found out. I got a whiff of it as I walked down the hall. It was coming out from under her door. I had to use my shoulder. The room was acrid and stinging with gas fumes and Louise Miller was stretched out on the floor in a six foot kitchen. When I picked her up and carried her out, I wasn't sure whether she was dead or not. Ten seconds after I'd found Louise Miller, I'd called a police ambulance and in a matter of minutes an intern was working over with a pull motor. Her breathing became regular and her pulse picked up, but she was still unconscious. Lieutenant Kelsey of Homicide showed up and said it was Obviously a suicide attempt, which is his kind of ingenious thinking. I thought not. If she were going to commit suicide, she wouldn't have called first to pull me off the caver. She'd have let an insignificant detail like that take care of itself. Now she was too strong to pity herself and too sure of what her intuition told her to believe. Even Ben Comiskey's confession. With that kind of faith. I owed it to her to poke around the ashes while they were still hot. I did and turned up a live coal in a faded blue shirt and wrinkled brown pants. Bert Singleby, by name and by vocation, manager of the Greystone Arms apartments.

[Sam Spade]

What kind of a girl was she? Oh, nice. Clean, sincere. The kind mothers always want their sons to marry. Boy, I wish I'd listened to mine.

[Effie Perine]

Yeah. Did you know her boyfriend, Ben Kamiske?

[Sam Spade]

Oh, salt au dearth. I can't understand him pulling a hold up like that. But then, you know, the war did strange things to me.

[Effie Perine]

Yes, I guess it did.

[Sam Spade]

I almost stayed in Europe and married myself up to a French doll myself.

[Effie Perine]

Yeah, I bet.

[Sam Spade]

But Sandra, that's my wife, she'd have hunted me down in Tibet. It was easier to come home facing music.

[Effie Perine]

Yeah. Well, about Louise. You know any reason why she might commit suicide?

[Sam Spade]

Frankly, no. No. I met her in the hallway tonight and she said. Mr. Singleby, she said, Ben didn't do that. Hold up, because I'm pretty sure I know who did. Well, I figure she's just keeping up a front. But if she did really know that Ben didn't do it, she wouldn't have turned on the gas now, would she?

[Effie Perine]

No, she wouldn't. Did she tell you who she thought did it?

[Sam Spade]

No. That's all she said. She's quiet girl. Not like my wife. Now, Sandra.

[Effie Perine]

Yeah? Did you see or hear anything that might have been suspicious or unusual around her apartment tonight?

[Sam Spade]

Look, I don't want to go around breaking up any homes or spreading dirty gossip around unless it involves Sandra's relative.

[Effie Perine]

Mr. Singleby, I promise you, sir, that I'll treat any information you give me confidentially as long as I can.

[Sam Spade]

All right? Now listen. Sandra told me not to say anything because it's. You know, it's a lot easier to rent a suicide apartment than a murder apartment. You know that. Confidentially, I'm a humanitarian, but if you tell anybody I said this, I'll. Well, I'll just lie about it.

[Effie Perine]

I'll never tell a soul.

[Sam Spade]

Well, we were out of butter, see, So I had to run down to the store. When I passed the mailboxes outside, a guy is standing there. He asked me which apartment Louis Miller. Louise Miller was in. And I said 12B.

[Effie Perine]

What do you look like?

[Sam Spade]

Oh, let's see now. 5, 10, medium build, tan suit, dark shirt, sort of a wide brim hat. Kind of flashy. Wore three or four big rings. Diamonds. They look like four big diamond rings on each hand.

[Effie Perine]

The Iceman. Why didn't you tell all this to the police?

[Louise Miller]

Bert? Bert, who are you talking to? Don't you dare say a word about that poor girl.

[Sam Spade]

That's why. That is why Sandra always says, keep your mouth shut and you keep out of trouble. But me, I don't know. I just love Bird.

[Louise Miller]

Stop talking too much and close that door.

[Sam Spade]

Yes, Sandra, dear. I'm closing it.

[Effie Perine]

The Iceman. I'd heard about him for years, a Chicago import, but I'd never bumped into him before. He'd been headquartering at the Red Spot Cafe, the kind of a place that skid row winos visit when they want a slum.

[Sam Spade]

Your message amplified, ready to share your.

[Effie Perine]

Message with the world. Start your podcast journey with Podbean.

[Louise Miller]

Podbean, the AI powered all in one podcast platform.

[Sam Spade]

Thousands of businesses and enterprises trust Podbean to launch their podcasts. Use Podbean to record your podcasts.

[Effie Perine]

Use Podbean AI to optimize your podcast.

[Louise Miller]

Use Podbean AI to turn your blog into a podcast.

[Effie Perine]

Use Podbean to distribute your podcast everywhere.

[Sam Spade]

Launch your podcast on Podbean today with Chewy. Everything you need for your pet is right at your fingertips. Like the coziest beds, all the food they love, and pretty much anything else you can think of. Get it all delivered fast right to your door for low prices. For life with pets, There's Chewie.

[Effie Perine]

It was dark inside, but I strode manfully to the bar.

[Sam Spade]

Yeah, something.

[Effie Perine]

The Iceman here.

[Sam Spade]

What do you want him for, huh?

[Effie Perine]

He's a friend of mine.

[Sam Spade]

You're a friend of hose? What are you giving me? You got bull written all over you, from the top of your stupid head to the bottom of your flat feet.

[Effie Perine]

He had the tan suit, the flashy rings, the dark shirt, and a wide brimmed hat. He stared at me with eyes that were icy and insolent. He rubbed the knuckles of one hand into the palm of the other as if he just ached for a chance to bruise them, which I was sure he did. Four guys sauntered over to lean on the piano, and as ugly as they were, I knew it wasn't A barbershop quartet. Two more left the bar and stood behind him, and a few others got up from nearby tables and joined the group. I should have brought my team, but I hadn't.

[Sam Spade]

You're a friend of mine, huh?

[Effie Perine]

Well, if it isn't Claude Bettering, the juvenile delinquent of 1940.

[Sam Spade]

Is that so? You're a real brain.

[Effie Perine]

Who are you, Brainy Sam Spade.

[Sam Spade]

Oh, now, ain't that a pretty name. You got something on your mind?

[Effie Perine]

I just wanted to talk with you about what you did to a girl named Louise Miller tonight.

[Sam Spade]

Never heard of her. Sounds cute, though.

[Effie Perine]

Girls are a lot easier to push around, aren't they, Claude?

[Sam Spade]

Call me Ice.

[Effie Perine]

Claude.

[Sam Spade]

Some guys are just as easy as some dames. Where have I been all night tonight, fellas? Yeah, right. You heard that, Spade. I've been here all night. Any of you guys ever hear of a Louise Miller? Sorry, nobody ever heard of her. See.

[Effie Perine]

Well, she has a lot of friends who have. The police, the people down at Mercy Hospital, and me. And none of us are going to forget her or what happened to her and who did it.

[Sam Spade]

Got something you'd like to do right now, maybe?

[Effie Perine]

Yeah, but I'll pick my time.

[Sam Spade]

All right, enough of this cheap chatter. I don't want to be seen talking with you too long. I got my reputation to think about. Now blow before I take one hand out of my pocket and push your stinking face back through that door.

[Effie Perine]

You'll need both hands, Samson.

[Sam Spade]

Go on, you creep. Fellas all.

[Effie Perine]

As I went rapidly through the door, Claude Bettering was standing, oily smile and all, polishing a couple of his oversized rings on his lapel. It was a picture I said I wouldn't forget, and I didn't. I went and rented myself a car, parked it on the block from the Red Spot Cafe and waited almost all night. I knew that Louise Miller was not the kind of a girl who would have anything to do with a guy like Veteran. And if he came to her apartment, this must have been for some unloving purpose. Probably to keep her from telling who actually did the holdup. Ben Comiskey had confessed to if she found out the truth. Finally, a bunch of palookas came out, Veteran included, climbed into a car and drove off me after them. One by one, Veteran dropped his men off at their hotels and apartments until he was finally alone. He stopped at a brownstone on Hobart, and I caught him just as he opened the door of his apartment.

[Sam Spade]

Well, the tough guy.

[Effie Perine]

You're gonna find out.

[Sam Spade]

Don't think I'M easy.

[Effie Perine]

And he wasn't easy. He was 3 inches shorter and 25 pounds lighter. And wherever he had picked up his reputation for toughness, he earned it. But I never enjoyed a fight in my life any more than that one I batted into his knees and into the floor. And he still wouldn't give up.

[Sam Spade]

You stinking creeper.

[Effie Perine]

Why did you beat up Louise Miller?

[Sam Spade]

I didn't.

[Effie Perine]

Why?

[Louise Miller]

I didn't.

[Effie Perine]

Why? Why? The apartment house manager identified you.

[Sam Spade]

He's a liar.

[Effie Perine]

Who did you do it for?

[Sam Spade]

Nobody.

[Effie Perine]

Who? Nobody.

[Louise Miller]

Who?

[Sam Spade]

You stinking creep. I'll push your face.

[Louise Miller]

Who?

[Effie Perine]

Who?

[Louise Miller]

Push you?

[Sam Spade]

Face it.

[Effie Perine]

He went out. Quite a guy, the Iceman. I used his phone to call the police and tell him to pick him up for attempted murder. Then with dawn coming up and my energy going down, I went back to the city jail, got a pass and woke up Ben Kamisky.

[Sam Spade]

Why don't you stop messing around on my business, Spade?

[Effie Perine]

Did you ever really love that girl of yours?

[Sam Spade]

Get out, you sadistic jerk.

[Effie Perine]

Well, she's in Mercy Hospital now. You can send her a card. Write something nasty on it. So long.

[Sam Spade]

Spade.

[Effie Perine]

Yeah?

[Sam Spade]

What? What's she in the hospital about?

[Effie Perine]

What do you care?

[Sam Spade]

Tell me, please.

[Effie Perine]

Somebody turned on the gas in her apartment and tried to kill her. It's nothing really.

[Sam Spade]

Who did it? Who did it, Spade?

[Effie Perine]

I think it was a guy named Claude Bettering. They call him the Iceman in certain circles.

[Louise Miller]

But why?

[Effie Perine]

That's what I'd like to know. Who's Bettering?

[Sam Spade]

I don't know.

[Effie Perine]

Your girl believed you were innocent, Kaminsky. But you said you weren't. My guess is that somebody figured she knew something and tried to shut her up. I think Veteran was hired by somebody, Spade.

[Sam Spade]

Look, I. I don't have any dose, see? But I want to get out of here for one day. You know anybody who could raise the bail? I won't skip and I'll pay back anything you want.

[Effie Perine]

Why?

[Sam Spade]

I gotta see somebody.

[Effie Perine]

I don't think I can. Who do you want to see?

[Sam Spade]

My lousy, dirty, low down, no good brother.

[Effie Perine]

He hired Better.

[Sam Spade]

Who else? He did everything. He's always done everything wrong. He held up that liquor store, but he's on parole. A two time felony offender. One more rap and he'd go up for 20 years. I did this for him. Yeah? Look at me. I did it for him. And he tries to kill my girl.

[Effie Perine]

Your mother said he was a good boy. Hard working, lived in Cincinnati.

[Sam Spade]

Me again. I told her all that. She believed it. I started the whole Stupid lie and had to go through with it. I got explained two years, three years to her, but not 20. He promised he'd go straight. He promised.

[Effie Perine]

I see.

[Sam Spade]

I even sent her money I earned and said it was from him. Oh, you never saw anybody like me before, did you?

[Effie Perine]

No, I haven't.

[Sam Spade]

Get me out. Get me out, Sam, and I'll drag him in by his back teeth.

[Effie Perine]

Thanks anyway, but I'll do it myself.

[Sam Spade]

Spate, let me do it. Let me do it, please.

[Effie Perine]

I drove over to Mrs. Comiskey's house and knocked on her door. She came out in a housecoat, hair must and sleep still in her eyes.

[Louise Miller]

Yes?

[Effie Perine]

I'm sorry to bother you at this hour, Mrs. Kaminsky, but is your son home? Jimmy?

[Louise Miller]

Jim? No, he went. He went out last night. He didn't come back yet.

[Effie Perine]

I see. When are you expecting?

[Louise Miller]

Well, he didn't say.

[Effie Perine]

He didn't have to, because I saw a closet door move and I was in and across the room in a second. I pulled the door back and Jim Kaminsky came out, gun and all.

[Louise Miller]

Jim. Jim. Dogs. Have you gone crazy?

[Effie Perine]

She hurried across the room, threw herself between Jimmy and me and started wrestling the gun away from him. He put one hand flat on her face and knocked her halfway across the room. I went at him. He shot, but it went into the ceiling. I didn't give him a chance to do it again.

[Sam Spade]

Don't.

[Louise Miller]

Don't.

[Effie Perine]

You held up the liquor store, didn't you?

[Louise Miller]

Yeah.

[Effie Perine]

And hired Fettering to kill Louise Miller.

[Louise Miller]

Yeah.

[Effie Perine]

And you're gonna take your own rap from now on.

[Sam Spade]

Yeah. Yes, I will.

[Effie Perine]

And he did. Period. End of report.

[Louise Miller]

Oh, Sam, that poor old lady.

[Effie Perine]

Yeah.

[Sam Spade]

Yeah.

[Effie Perine]

She lived in a dream world built by a son who had too much heart and not enough common sense.

[Louise Miller]

But, Sam, that man on the liquor store identified Ben as the hold up man.

[Effie Perine]

Well, when he saw both brothers together, he realized he'd made a mistake. At night, with a hat pulled down and a collar up, anybody could have confused the Comiskey brothers.

[Louise Miller]

Sam, why is the world so cruel?

[Effie Perine]

Because people live in it. Now, go on and type it out.

[Sam Spade]

Huh?

[Louise Miller]

Well, here it is, Sam. And if you don't mind my saying so, it's a lesson to everybody.

[Effie Perine]

If you say so, Ellen.

[Louise Miller]

Sam, I'm just infuriated.

[Effie Perine]

Now, now, don't go too far.

[Louise Miller]

Misplaced love, devotion. It just isn't right.

[Effie Perine]

Hand me the glass.

[Louise Miller]

This kind of thing could be going on all over the world if it weren't for people like you who step in and take things in half.

[Effie Perine]

Back to laugh.

[Louise Miller]

Here you are, Sam.

[Effie Perine]

Thank you, Ms. Brain.

[Louise Miller]

Honestly, Sam. Well, just honestly, that's all.

[Effie Perine]

Are you finished?

[Louise Miller]

Well, I. Well, just. I have some sociological feelings too. I'm just not an automatic secretary you turn on and off.

[Effie Perine]

Come here. Come here.

[Louise Miller]

With each new case, I have feelings.

[Effie Perine]

Effie, I just kissed you.

[Sam Spade]

I know.

[Louise Miller]

What?

[Effie Perine]

I just kissed you.

[Louise Miller]

Oh, Sam.

[Effie Perine]

Delayed reaction. Must be the heat.

[Louise Miller]

Oh. Good night, Sam.

[Effie Perine]

Good night, sweetheart.