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Narrator
Broadcasting Company presents the Adventures of Sam Spade Detective.
Sam Spade
Sam Spade Detective Agency.
Effie
Me sweetheart. Merry 29th of December.
Sam Spade
You too, Sam. Did you take the little boy home?
Lieutenant Dundee
Yep.
Sam Spade
Straight home.
Effie
Well, not exactly. F. Had to make a couple of emergency stops, but we got there.
Sam Spade
What do you mean, Sam?
Effie
Well, I got my weekly knot on the head, for one thing. Sam.
Sam Spade
Just taking the little boy home.
Effie
Like I said, F. We were derailed. There was a dash of poison, for instance, a couple of pounds of thousand buck notes and an infernal machine that nearly blew up half the Mission District. But other than that, we had a peaceful ride home.
Sam Spade
Why, Sam, this sounds like a keeper.
Effie
Which is just what it is. Angel, get out our special holiday bottle of Napa Valley wine and we'll get in our premature regards to the new year following dictation of a report entitled the Prodigal.
Sam Spade
Prodigal? Sam, are you sure that's the right word?
Effie
Certainly I'm sure. The Wanderer will return to the rooster. You and your big fat roost with our last bedtime story for 1950, namely the prodigal panda caper.
Narrator
For NBC. William Spear, radio's Outstanding Producer, Director of Mystery and Crime Drama, brings you the greatest private detective of them all in the Adventures of Sam Spade.
Effie
Effie. Ms. Perrine.
Sam Spade
Coming, Sam, coming. I've been looking in the dictionary. Sam, you've fallen into the trap again. Prodigal. Here now see? Prodigal given to reckless extravagance. It doesn't mean Wandering at all. See, people think just because the prodigal son wandered that.
Effie
What are we talking about?
Sam Spade
The prodigal panda caper. How can a panda be given to reckless extravagance?
Effie
Well, let me say. Oh, here. Definition 3. Prodigal yielding abundantly luxuriant.
Sam Spade
A panda? You mean one of those black and white.
Effie
You're right. Right. See note below, it says. You ready for the note below with my pencil?
Sam Spade
Oh, all right, then fill in it.
Effie
Master Roebuck Dozier, 2318 Delaney Street, City. From Samuel Spade, license number 137596.
Sam Spade
Subject, the Prodigal panda caper.
Effie
Right. Dear Robyn, I had spent a relatively pleasant day running down a case of slow pay in north beach and flushed with success, had returned to my office for a final check of the file. Hmm. Underwood. Helen. Not sure. Roderick. Pardon? Dolly. Where the. Oh, Spirits. Holland, I guess. I sat down, put my head and my feet on the desk and was loosening my collar when I noticed just to the right of my arm, ankle, one large bag of jelly beans sighting. Past it, I saw in the corner chair an open copy of a magazine featuring on the COVID a blonde in a low cut dress taking a.38 slug from a slack jawed thug in the background under big red letters spelling out Thrilling Crime Comics. And behind all this, sound asleep, was you. Hey. Hey, Sonny. Sonny. Hey. Hey, wake up, will ya? Come on. Reveley's blowing.
Sam Spade
Huh?
Effie
Oh, hi. Hi. How long you been here?
Sam Spade
A long time, I guess.
Effie
What's your name?
Sam Spade
Roby. Short for Roebuck.
Effie
Well, what can I do for you, Roby?
Sam Spade
I've been to the police. They wouldn't do anything. They said I should come to you.
Effie
You mean you got a job from me?
Sam Spade
Yeah.
Narrator
Dangerous.
Sam Spade
Yeah. A hoist.
Effie
You mean a heist? What was it?
Sam Spade
My panda bear.
Effie
Oh, someone stole it.
Sam Spade
Yeah. It's not mine really. I bought it for my little brother, Barney. He's five and he's always wanted one. So when I got the junk money, I went.
Effie
Money?
Sam Spade
Oh, bottles and papers and stuff. I collected it from the Neighbors and earned $6.15. And Barney wanted the panda bear, so I bought it at Lacy's department store today, and they stole it.
Effie
Who stole it?
Sam Spade
Well, there was this man in the checkered coat and the lady in the red silk dress, just like the store. In the comic here, the man looked like that, but the lady, look, she had black hair and a red dress and her eyebrows went up this way instead of sideways. I was walking down the street with my panda bear and the lady called Me over to a car she was sitting in and started to talk to me. And right away the man in the checkered coat ran up and grabbed at my panda bear. And they chased me up a fire escape. And the man pulled out a big black gun and said if I didn't come down and give him the panda, he'd shoot me and Barney and Mom. So I came down and gave him the panda.
Effie
Well, that's quite a mouthful. Oh, excuse me, Robbie. Hello, Sam? Yeah, Dundee.
Lieutenant Dundee
This is Dundee. Oh, Sam is a little fella about 8 years old on his way over there.
Effie
No, he's here now, Lieutenant. What's the deal?
Lieutenant Dundee
He gave us quite a story.
Effie
Well, how'd it go now?
Lieutenant Dundee
We took it down. I got it right here somewhere. Let me see. It's about a man in a checkered coat and a lady in a red silk dress. Oh, here it is. Quote, I was walking down the street with my panda bear and the lady called me over to her car.
Effie
Okay, Dundee. He hasn't changed it any.
Lieutenant Dundee
We got hold of his mother. Runs an elevator in the Rust Building.
Effie
Good.
Lieutenant Dundee
She says he reads too many comic books. You better send him home.
Effie
Okay, Lieutenant. Thanks. Come on, Roby.
Sam Spade
You gonna send me home?
Effie
Lieutenant Dundee called your mother, old man.
Sam Spade
And you don't believe me either.
Effie
Oh, it's not that, Robie. It's just.
Sam Spade
But I can't go home without the panda beer. What do I tell Barney? I promised him my own brother.
Effie
Oh, he's home now, waiting. Yeah, well, tell you what I'll do, Roby. You let me put you in a taxi and send you home, and I'll take the case.
Sam Spade
You'll get my panda back.
Effie
Wouldn't be at all surprised. So if Barney's face hits the floor, just tell him Samuel Spade Incorporated is working on it.
Sam Spade
Only one thing.
Effie
Huh?
Sam Spade
I haven't any money left.
Effie
Oh, well, you got jelly beans, haven't you?
Sam Spade
Yeah.
Effie
Okay, you can pay me off in jelly beans. Come on, now, let's find a taxi. Which we did, Roby. Like the psychology books said, I didn't discourage the child imagination. But I did try to tout you off Thrilling Crime Comics and onto Alice in Wonderland. This, I could see, would take some doing. It was almost closing time when I got to Lacey's, but I talked my way past the man at the door and hustled up to the sixth floor and the toy department. The clerks were doing whatever clerks do at 5:30, but I found a handy floor walker.
Floor Walker
Dear me, Mr. Spade, I just don't know I just don't know.
Effie
You mean you counted your cash and everything, but you can't.
Floor Walker
It's not that. Mr. Spade, I am perfectly willing to stretch a point to please the little fellow.
Effie
We.
Floor Walker
We like to think we are human here, you know.
Effie
Well, that's nice that you like to think so. I mean.
Floor Walker
But you see, something very strange happened this afternoon. Come over this way, sir, by the escalator. We had the giant pandas at this counter here. 25 of the large size. I assume that's what you're interested in.
Effie
I guess so. Then what, then?
Floor Walker
Well, for Christmas, they didn't do anything.
Effie
Just sat here, huh?
Floor Walker
Yes, but would you believe it, sir? This afternoon all 25 were sold.
Effie
Well, how do you account for that New Year's gaiety?
Floor Walker
Well, if you want my personal opinion, it's Ms. Greenbrier, the new girl who came to work yesterday. She is endowed with.
Effie
I know just what it takes to sell pandas. Well, how about the junior model?
Floor Walker
Medium? Yes. Now, let me see. There were a few under the counter here. Where.
Effie
What?
Floor Walker
I was wrong. Here is a big one.
Effie
Well, lucky me. How much?
Floor Walker
5.79 plus tax. I'll make the slip out and you can get your change over the main.
Effie
An impressive panda bear, Ruby was. Hard to figure out how you could lose anything that big. And harder still to figure out how I'd explain this kind of thing to people who stopped me on Market Street. Be that as it may, my floor walker friend took my cash, tore off the sale slip, and I was about to set sail with my panda when I heard him make the kind of a noise floor workers make when they see what he was looking at.
Floor Walker
Ms. Greenbar. Ms. Greenbr.
Effie
He pointed weakly, turned pale even by floor walker standards and sagged to the deck. I turned in time to see Ms. Greenbrier collapse at the top of the escalator and watched her come down, draped across three steps like the COVID of one of your books of bedtime stories. Roby. She was the last passenger of the day. Or so I thought. When I looked closer, I saw she wasn't a passenger. She was freight. At the lamp counter on the floor above, busily adding up receipts as if nothing had happened. Was a dark type built along dragon lady lines.
Sam Spade
I'm very sorry, sir, but we closed promptly.
Effie
I want to know about the girl who just went down the escalator. Ms. Greenbrier? Yeah. Notice anything strange about her? Why?
Sam Spade
Is she ill?
Effie
Yeah. Did she look ill?
Sam Spade
I thought there must have been something wrong. I said hello to Her. And she didn't pay any attention to me. It was only a second ago.
Effie
Where'd she come from?
Sam Spade
Around the corner, I think. She'd been at the wrapping desk.
Effie
She had. It was a tent sized sheet of heavy brown paper, a batch of metered postage tape and a shipping label addressed to Master Frankie Carson, 281Avenida Ruiz, Havana, Cuba. Downstairs, I found my floor walker friend had come around and was bending over Ms. Greenbriar with an impressive looking gent with gray at the temples.
Floor Walker
Good heavens. It can't be. It just cannot be, that's all.
Dr. Kempthorne
I'm afraid she is though.
Floor Walker
In laces. It's. It's unheard of. Why should she be? Good heavens. In my department too.
Effie
Excuse me, floor walker.
Floor Walker
Oh, this is Mr. Spade. He was with me when it. Oh, dear.
Dr. Kempthorne
I'm Dr. Kempthorne. I was exchanging some Christmas gifts when.
Effie
Any idea what killed her?
Dr. Kempthorne
Well, it's pretty hard to tell without an examination and I don't have my things with me.
Effie
Heart. Possibly natural causes? Well, of course. Why? Do you have reasons? There are more natural places to die than at the top of an escalator.
Floor Walker
And in my department at Lacey's too. Good heaven.
Dr. Kempthorne
Well, who can say? Have to look up the girl's history if she had a heart condition.
Effie
Well, sure, sure. Meanwhile, I'll call Homicide. They've nothing better to do. For a minute I thought I'd been reading too many comic books. Roby. But things settled down when they pulled out the records and found Ms. Greenbrier had had a heart condition of long standing. And the medical examiner wrote it off as natural causes. So hoping you would consider a jelly bean bonus for promptness, I pick up my panda and wince outside. I'd gone about 10 steps when. Hi, Humphrey. It was Larry Healy, the cop who drives for Lieutenant Dundee. Sit in a patrol car. Oh, you and Bogard. Who's it for? A little kid in the mission.
Lieutenant Dundee
How come?
Effie
What do you mean how come? I'm buying a panda bear for a little kid in the mission who likes panda bears. Does that have to be explained? Okay, Sam. Okay, okay. It just hit me. The bear ain't turned out quite right. He needs a necktie. Oh, I just happen to have one here my brother in law got me for Christmas. Here, give me. Now, say you're. Hey, Larry. Larry. How long has there been bad blood between you and your brother in law? Bad blood? Listen, even when we were friends, he gave me ties like this. There you are. On your way, Sam. Thanks. Thanks. Taxi. Taxi. The cab let me out near the end of Delaney and I started walking up the row of dingy pre earthquake flats towards your house. Roby at the end of the street. Parked at the curb was a discordant note in this hard pressed neighborhood. A sleek custom built red convertible. One of the kind that looks like it can go 90 miles an hour standing still. The same can be said for the dame in it. Also a discordant note. You see, San Francisco is a very big, large city. You just don't run into a dame at the lamp counter in Lacey's and half hour later in a dumpy neighborhood in the Mission. Unless she wants it that way.
Sam Spade
Well, hello.
Effie
Hello, dragon lady. You. You must sell a parcel of lamps.
Sam Spade
The car.
Effie
But don't try and explain that now. Just tell me why you followed my cab.
Sam Spade
Follow you? Why?
Effie
Mr. Spade, come on, Come on, what is it?
Sam Spade
You're embarrassing me.
Effie
I know. Since that moment at the lamp counter you can't get me out of your mind. Well, that's a perfectly normal reaction.
Sam Spade
It's not that, it's. Oh, dear.
Effie
The panda bear. You want it in the worst way.
Sam Spade
You're kind of attractive as men go. Mr. Spade, could you give me a light, please?
Effie
Sure.
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Effie
Holding the match up to her cigarette. Three things hit me. The black hair, the red dress and eyebrows that went up instead of sideways. At that point, the sleeve of a checkered overcoat with a big arm inside it came around onto my chin from the rear. And the fourth thing hit me. How long I dwelled in panda land, I don't know, but it was real nice while it lasted. I was a panda too, I remember. And I was going somewhere with a big overstuffed private detective under my arm when a lady panda batted her big brown eyes at me and began pulling my nose. She seemed to have a very, very high voice.
Sam Spade
Wake up, Mr. Spade. Ruffling's blowing. I call Lieutenant Dudley. Mr. Spade, son is. Wait. Lucky.
Effie
Hey.
Sam Spade
Over here.
Lieutenant Dundee
Good Christopher. Sam, what happened?
Effie
Well. Well, it was this way, Dundee. I was walking down the street with my panda bear and the lady called me over to the car she was sitting in and started to talk to me right away. The man in the checkered coat up said.
Narrator
You are listening to the weekly adventure of radio's most famous detective, Sam Spade. Van Heflin stars. This Sunday in State Fair, another outstanding 60 minute production by Theater Guild on the air. Co starring in this exciting broadcast is one of the leading families in show business. Jean Lockhart, Kathleen Lockhart and daughter June. It's a gala New Year's Eve broadcast when Theater Guild presents State Fair Sunday over most of these NBC stations. Also means another hour and a half with Tallulah Bankhead in radio's greatest spectacle, the big show. Among Tallulah's guests will be Ken Murray, Gloria Swanson, Margaret o' Brien, Jose Ferrer and many more. Now back to the prodigal panda caper. Tonight's adventure with Sam Spade.
Effie
It was a humiliating experience. Roway riding back to headquarters in black defeat a dear good lieutenant. Dundee, however, was the soul of patience and understanding.
Lieutenant Dundee
What do you take me for, Spade? An idiot?
Effie
Look, Dundee, all I want you to understand is that this dame and the.
Lieutenant Dundee
Hopped up convertible, that's three rides on that merry go round now, and I'm sick of it. The dame in a red dress and the guy in the checkered coat, they take your wallet?
Effie
No.
Lieutenant Dundee
Your watch? Other valuables?
Effie
No, just my panda.
Lieutenant Dundee
Sam, are you trying to tell me there's a hot panda racket going on?
Effie
Dundee boy, look closely now as I take off my hat.
Lieutenant Dundee
What?
Effie
There, see? Now, as you know, my head ordinarily does not come to a point, but this protuberance was made by a gunbot, not by imaginations.
Lieutenant Dundee
Oh, someone slugged you. I believe that, Sam, but this panda bear thing. Donnie.
Effie
Yeah.
Lieutenant Dundee
What? Yeah, yeah.
Effie
You were saying something about my panda bear, Dundee.
Lieutenant Dundee
Maybe I ought to take it back. That dame at the store this afternoon, the one who sold him.
Effie
Ms. Greenbrier?
Lieutenant Dundee
Yeah. I just finished the postmortem. No heart attack. She was poisoned.
Floor Walker
It's a strange thing, Mr. Spade. Very strange. I leave my business thoughts at the store.
Effie
Floor walker. Just try and remember the dragon lady's name, huh?
Floor Walker
Dragon lady? My good gracious, I. I can't remember my own name. I'm so upset.
Effie
Oh, now concentrate. Now look. Dark hair, up tilted eyebrows, red silk dress, works in lamp department on seventh floor.
Floor Walker
I can picture her so plainly.
Effie
Dark hair.
Floor Walker
Floor walker, dark hair.
Effie
Upshot Eyebrows.
Floor Walker
Eyebrows and red dreads.
Effie
Yes.
Floor Walker
Red, red, red. Scarlet.
Effie
Scarlet.
Floor Walker
Scarlet. That's it.
Effie
Easy now. I got a list of employees right here. I'll turn you scarlet. Scarlet. Scarlet. Scarlet Townsend.
Floor Walker
Scarlet Townsend.
Lieutenant Dundee
That's a deam floor walker.
Effie
Scarlett Townsend?
Sam Spade
Yes. He lived here?
Effie
Right in this room.
Lieutenant Dundee
Move out.
Sam Spade
Good day.
Effie
I'll come. Huh? I said, how come, Landlady? Why'd she move?
Sam Spade
I tried to keep her on the right track, but her age you can't.
Effie
Tell em nothin' but when she framed.
Sam Spade
That no good dame around here, I put my foot down. I said Scarlet, I says. I said Scarlet, I says.
Effie
You're no good dame. What no good dame, landlady.
Floor Walker
Crystal McCall.
Effie
Oh, here.
Sam Spade
I found this just now as I.
Floor Walker
Was cleaning the room.
Sam Spade
Picture of Crystal McCall. Now ain't that a swell way to.
Floor Walker
Have your picture taken?
Effie
The name rang a bell and so did the picture. Crystal herself in the altogether. When I got around to the place, I made a startling discovery. Crystal was also the late Ms. Greenbrier.
Sam Spade
Don't look at it all day.
Effie
Young man. When did you see this girl? Last night, lady.
Sam Spade
This morning. She and a fellow in a checkered coat come around to pick up the Scarlet in a big red open car.
Effie
Know the fella?
Sam Spade
Nope. Never saw him before. But I sure know that car. Oh, you ought to see it.
Effie
You're not telling me a thing, landlady. I have in Los Angeles I'd have been dead. But San Francisco is not a convertible town. I found a free phone and began calling the dealers, figuring a bright red custom built convertible is something you remember whether you see it or sell it. An hour of this got me nowhere and I'd begun to wonder if the car had been smuggled up from the unmentionable side of the Tehachapi when the wind changed.
Lieutenant Dundee
Sold the yellow one a while back.
Effie
Thanks, but near misses don't count for any.
Lieutenant Dundee
About the buyer had it painted red.
Effie
Special job. Well, you're improving. Who's the buyer?
Lieutenant Dundee
Kim Thorne.
Effie
Dr. Kempthorne. Right. Dr. Jules.
Lieutenant Dundee
Kim Thorne lives on Motley Drive and bulling game. That's the only red one I know.
Effie
Great. That's the only red one I need.
Dr. Kempthorne
Mr. Spade, this is utterly unbelievable. And I certainly don't intend to stand here all night discussing the pros and cons of panda bears.
Effie
All right, Chem. Thorne, let's slide over into your field.
Dr. Kempthorne
Meaning what?
Effie
The sweet young thing at the store turned out dirty.
Dr. Kempthorne
The heart attack?
Effie
The poison attack.
Dr. Kempthorne
Well, suicide, do you suppose?
Effie
What do you suppose?
Dr. Kempthorne
Well, I'M sure I don't know.
Effie
Look, why don't we hold hands and tell the truth, huh?
Dr. Kempthorne
You'd better run along, Spade. I've had about all of this that I intended.
Effie
Look, the dead dame was Crystal McCall. Does that mean anything to you?
Dr. Kempthorne
No.
Effie
The same Crystal McCall was running around with a hood named Frankie Casella. Formerly of New York, now of Havana. My Department of Justice request.
Dr. Kempthorne
This is all very interesting. What has it to do with me?
Effie
She was riding around in your red convertible this morning, for one thing. That's a hot car. You know, I took a close look at it two hours ago and got slugged. I don't know how you score these things, Kempthorne, but in my book, this calls for a couple of answers.
Dr. Kempthorne
You're right. You're right, it does.
Effie
Where's the car?
Dr. Kempthorne
It's gone.
Effie
Who has it?
Dr. Kempthorne
My chauffeur. This is the last straw. I guess there's no point in covering up for him any longer.
Effie
Who is he?
Dr. Kempthorne
Lenny Fleagle.
Effie
An ex con, isn't he? Yes.
Dr. Kempthorne
I thought I could straighten him out. He's been missing for two days. This time he just took the car and left. I knew he had something to do with that girl in the toy department at Lacey's, so I went there today. I guess I was too late.
Effie
You think Fleagle killed her?
Dr. Kempthorne
I don't know. I don't know.
Effie
Where.
Dr. Kempthorne
Where did you see the car?
Effie
Near the end of Delaney Street. What's the license number?
Dr. Kempthorne
49H822. I'd better report stolen. If you need me to testify, please.
Effie
Feel free to call. That I will, Dr. Kempthorn. Bye. What I had in mind, of course, was to call Lieutenant Dundee and have him slap a 24 hour tail on the good doctor. But something intervened. Halfway down the walk to the street, my eye fell on a round plastic object about the size of a nickel lying in the grass. Curly. The eye of a giant panda. Since two other eyes were obviously watching me through Dr. Kempthorn's front curtains, I continued gaily on to my cab, drove up a half block, got out and walked back just in time to see Kempthorn pull away from the curb in his other car, heading towards El Camino and points north. This left me free to prowl at will. And four matchbooks later, I had found two more eyes. A pocket full of panda skin and a goodly scoop of panda upholstery. The trail led to the garage. It was no wonder his car was stolen. He must have had to leave it on the street all night because there was no room for it in the garage, which had been turned into a kind of panda abattoir, crammed to the rafters with panda bears. All a giant size, too, in various stages of dishabille. Legs, arms, eyes and innards. A sight to chill the heart of any but the sturdiest private detective. Ruby. But I braced myself and carried on.
Lieutenant Dundee
Homicide. Dundee.
Effie
This is Sam Dundee.
Lieutenant Dundee
Sam, where you calling from?
Effie
Phone booth and a drive in on El Camino. Listen, the license number on the red custom job is 49H822, and the guy driving it is Lenny Fleagle, an ex con.
Lieutenant Dundee
Don't talk to me about that car. Larry Healy picked it up tonight going 90 on the bay Shore.
Effie
Great.
Lieutenant Dundee
Lousy.
Dr. Kempthorne
Why?
Effie
What happened?
Lieutenant Dundee
Next time I see one of them panda bears, I'm gonna spit right in its eye. So Larry pulls the guy down, and first thing he sees is the panda bear with a necktie.
Effie
What about the dragon lady?
Lieutenant Dundee
She came second. All Larry can think of is the hot panda bear. Figures they stole it, so he takes it back to the patrol car to return it to the kid.
Effie
No.
Lieutenant Dundee
Yeah. By the time he got the exhaust smoke out of his eyes, they were gone. Oh, what's that license number again?
Effie
49H822.
Lieutenant Dundee
You sure?
Effie
Positive. I'm looking right at it. I. Oh. Sam Dundee. Yeah, we're all at Anderson's Drive in on El Camino. Put it on the air. Which just shows you how slow I can think. Roby, the red job was staring at me with its big chrome eyes outside the plate glass window. Fleagle and the dragon lady, bless him, were having a Saturday night. Blue plate displayed attractively on the tray racks, hung from the car doors. I sidled out of the phone booth and through the kitchen, thereby coming up on the car from behind.
Lieutenant Dundee
More coffee, honey?
Sam Spade
No.
Effie
We better get going. Plenty of time. Mind if I join you, Fleagle? He reached and I pushed, and instead of his gun, he came up with half a hamburger. It was too harsh a light for the dragon lady to operate effectively, and by the time Larry Healy and the Powell car pulled up, they decided to do it the easy way.
Lieutenant Dundee
You all comfy back there?
Effie
Lovely. Larry. Where you going, dragon lady? Shut up.
Lieutenant Dundee
What about the red job? What are you going to do with that, Larry?
Effie
Oh, I'm pounded till the lawyers are through talking.
Lieutenant Dundee
Sam, you want to go by way of Delaney Street?
Effie
Yeah, okay.
Lieutenant Dundee
Why Delaney Street?
Effie
Larry delivered the panda, huh? Sure. To the kid. Roby Dozier. We'll have to go and Pick it up, Lenny. Yeah. What's it worth? Legal? 50,000. A hundred little kids. Got it? Yeah. Oh, Marcelo will be disappointed. Flego. With the tax boys watching both him and Crystal. It looked like a safe way to get some of his dough out of the country to him.
Lieutenant Dundee
Wasn't my idea. I hated him. I did eight years for him.
Effie
Spade.
Lieutenant Dundee
I could have killed him.
Effie
Shut up, Lenny.
Lieutenant Dundee
I don't care anymore. To heck with it. Look, it wasn't me. The guy who's running things for him here is Dr. Kempthorne. But Crystal had the dough. He killed her. He took her to lunch today.
Effie
Go ahead, Lenny. So he poisoned her. Then what?
Lieutenant Dundee
She'd fixed up one of the pandas. He didn't know which. Stuffed it with bills. 80, 100,000. I don't know. Anyway, you'll find the money in the.
Dr. Kempthorne
Red car under the back seat.
Effie
Under the seat? What are you talking about? It's in the panda. The kid's got it.
Lieutenant Dundee
Look. Why do you think I'm telling you this, you stupid flatfoot? I fixed that thing for Castella myself after we took the dough out. What kid? It's got a bomb in it.
Effie
I don't remember much about the ride from then on, Roby. All I could see was a white line unwinding in the headlights. But somehow we got to the end of Delaney street and around that corner again. Robey. Roby.
Sam Spade
Over here in the alley.
Effie
Roby. Robbie. Are you hurt? No.
Sam Spade
Just resting.
Effie
Where's the panda?
Sam Spade
Well, I'm through with pandas. And so is Barney. Next, junk money. I'm gonna buy him an elephant.
Effie
What happened?
Sam Spade
A policeman brought it.
Effie
Yeah.
Sam Spade
I started home with it when a car drove up and a man with gray hair got out.
Effie
Kim Thorne. What then?
Sam Spade
Same thing. He grabbed it and got in his car and drove off. He's around the corner there playing with it. Go ask him. I don't care anymore.
Effie
Around the corner. You may need. Period, end of report. A highly inconsiderate thing to do to a panda. But I'll give him one thing.
Sam Spade
What?
Effie
He had the good grace to park in front of a vacant lot before starting to tear it apart. And of course, to coin a phrase, he saved the people some money. And now, if you're a good, efficient girl and run that through your infernal machine. Who knows what I'll have in store for you when you're through. No jelly beans. Still, work is done. Now, scoop, scoop, scoop.
Narrator
Three chimes mean good times on NBC Friday. Means another visit to that entertaining eat establishment Duffy's Tavern. Archie, the manager, and his whimsical friends have cooked up another fresh half hour of laughs and typical Duffy's Tavern madness. And you're all invited. There's also another delightful adventure with Chester A. Riley, played by William Bendix. Tonight on the Life of Riley. Keep your dial set to NBC for the very best in radio entertainment.
Sam Spade
Here it is, Sam.
Effie
All official.
Sam Spade
Yep. I like the black one.
Effie
Lay off, lay off. We ain't no fair eating all the black ones. They're my favorite. Still now, Master Robotosier pays well, Sam.
Sam Spade
I hope Roby appreciates you.
Effie
Only just a kid. How can he appreciate me?
Sam Spade
I appreciate you, Sam.
Effie
Well, I appreciate you too, sweetheart. You're so pretty and so and so good about not hitting you all the time for your back salary. Yep. If when I stop and think of you, I go all choked up.
Sam Spade
You do? Black one.
Effie
Come here, angel.
Sam Spade
Yes.
Effie
It's all yours, dear. The rest of the jelly things. Happy New Year.
Sam Spade
Oh, good night.
Effie
Good night, sweetheart.
Narrator
The adventures of Sam Spade are produced, edited and directed by William Spears. Sam Spade was played by Stephen Dunn. Doreen Tuttle as Effie. Script for tonight's adventure by Harold Swanton. Musical scoring by Lud Gluskin conducted by Robert Armbruster. Join us again next week, same time for another adventure with Sam Spade. Enjoy the magnificent Montague, then Duffy's Tavern on NBC.
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Summary of "The Adventures of Sam Spade: The Prodigal Panda Caper"
Choice Classic Radio Detectives | Old Time Radio
Episode: The Adventures of Sam Spade: The Prodigal Panda Caper
Release Date: May 10, 2025
In the December 29, 1950 episode titled "The Prodigal Panda Caper," listeners are plunged into a classic Sam Spade mystery infused with unique twists involving a beloved panda bear. Hosted by Choice Classic Radio, this episode masterfully blends suspense, humor, and the quintessential charm of old-time radio detective stories.
The episode opens with Effie informing Sam about a peculiar case involving a stolen panda bear belonging to a young boy named Roby Dozier. Roby's father, having collected junk money, bought the panda bear from Lacy's Department Store as a surprise for his five-year-old son, Barney. However, the bear was swiftly stolen by a duo dressed in a checkered coat and a red silk dress. Roby recounts the harrowing incident, stating:
Roby Dozier [05:00]: "It's not mine really. I bought it for my little brother, Barney. ...And right away the man in the checkered coat ran up and grabbed at my panda bear."
Effie takes charge, deciding to handle the case herself while ensuring Roby is sent home safely. She visits Lacy's Department Store to gather information about the stolen panda bears. Here, Effie discovers that all 25 large panda bears had been sold unusually quickly, raising suspicions about the new employee, Ms. Greenbrier.
Effie [08:07]: "But would you believe it, sir? This afternoon all 25 were sold."
Effie’s inquiries lead her to uncover that Ms. Greenbrier, who appeared ill, was found dead at the store, initially ruled as a natural heart attack. However, further inspection by Lieutenant Dundee reveals:
Lieutenant Dundee [18:02]: "Yeah. No heart attack. She was poisoned."
The investigation points towards Dr. Kempthorne and his chauffeur, Lenny Fleagle, an ex-con with a shady past. Effie discovers that the stolen panda bear was part of a larger scheme involving money hidden within the bears, intended for illicit transfers. The plot thickens when Effie finds a red convertible associated with the crime, leading her to confront Dr. Kempthorne.
Effie [21:08]: "Well, you're improving. Who's the buyer?"
Lieutenant Dundee [25:00]: "I fixed that thing for Castella myself after we took the dough out. What kid? It's got a bomb in it."
Effie devises a plan to recover the stolen panda bear, which contains the hidden money and potentially a bomb. She collaborates with Lieutenant Dundee and the police to track down Lenny Fleagle. A tense showdown ensues in an alley, where Effie successfully retrieves the panda and apprehends Fleagle, revealing the depth of the criminal operation.
Effie [27:03]: "What's it worth? Legal? 50,000. A hundred little kids. Got it?"
With the panda recovered and the culprits apprehended, Effie ensures that Roby gets his beloved bear back. The episode concludes on a heartwarming note as Effie delivers the panda to Roby, reaffirming the triumph of good over nefarious schemes.
Effie [30:22]: "Happy New Year."
"The Prodigal Panda Caper" showcases Sam Spade's unwavering determination to solve even the most unusual cases. Through Effie's ingenuity and the collaborative efforts with Lieutenant Dundee, the mystery of the stolen panda bear is deftly unraveled. This episode not only provides listeners with gripping detective work but also emphasizes themes of loyalty, courage, and the importance of community support. Perfect for old-time radio enthusiasts, this adventure exemplifies the timeless allure of Sam Spade's detective prowess.