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A
Welcome to Choice Classic Radio where we bring to you the greatest old time radio shows like us on Facebook, subscribe to us on YouTube and thank you for donating@ChoiceClassicRadio.com.
B
Hello?
C
Yes, this is the Falcon speaking. Oh, Nancy, you'll have to include me out tonight, angel. Some boys are planning a surprise party for me and I'll be hanged if I don't show up. Then again, I may be hanged if I do. Once again, the Adventures of the Falcon. Dedicated to private investigators everywhere. Those hard hitting detectives who like Mike Waring, risk their lives to aid law enforcement agencies. So join him now when the Falcon solves the case of the happy hoodlum.
D
It's early evening in New York and at Novak's, a smart gambling spot on New York's east side, the proprietor steps out of his office and surveys his domain. Obviously what he sees doesn't please him.
E
Letting.
F
Yes, Mr. Novak, I'd like to see you.
G
Sure.
F
Harry, take the stick, will you? The boss and I got business to discuss. What's on your mind, Mr. Novak?
E
Sit down.
F
Thanks.
E
Drink?
F
You know I'm working.
E
Is that what they call it?
F
Huh.
E
Take a look at these. That's last month's take.
F
374. 1495. Not good.
E
Well, that's the understatement of the year palette. We're 14 grand off April. When I gave you the job as.
F
Manager, I guaranteed I could double the take. Uh huh. Well, you've got to understand, Mr. Novak, things have changed. I couldn't figure it out last Lasker opening his joint just two blocks away.
E
Well, what do you intend to do about it?
F
What can I do? Of course, if this was the old days in Chicago, I could handle it easy enough. Like I once told Al, you know, Al Capone. There's only one way to deal with a character like Lasker.
E
Take care of him. Take care of him?
F
You know what I mean?
E
And you do that for me?
F
That's nothing. If I thought it would help, I'd cut off my right arm.
E
I'm touched.
F
I mean it. I'm not much for talking. But you've been real swell. All you gotta do is say the word.
E
All right? Bloody. I'm saying it. Take care of Lasker.
B
What?
E
Aren't those the right words?
F
Well, now look, Mr. Novak.
E
What's the trouble? You just said you'd do anything in the world for me.
B
Well.
F
Suppose I talk to Lasker first.
E
There's been too much talk already. I think a little action is indicated. You got a gun, Poletty? Or will you use mine?
C
That your Monty?
F
Yes.
E
Again.
F
Lasker.
H
Who are you?
F
Tony Poletti. Maybe you heard of me.
B
I can't say I have.
F
I work for Frank Novak.
B
How did you get in here?
F
Never mind.
G
I'm here.
F
That's all that counts.
C
You may have a point there.
B
They do pay off on results, don't they? However, Mr. Polari, I'd advise you get.
F
Away from that buzzer. Get away, Laska, or I'll plug you. I mean it.
B
You're kind of new at this, aren't you?
F
Huh?
B
What's the trouble? Couldn't Novak find a more qualified man?
F
I'm doing all right. I got in here, didn't I?
B
There must be an answer for that. Though it escapes me at the moment. What's on your mind?
F
You ought to know. Novak warned you to shove up. Chap.
B
Let me ask you something, bloody how much does Novak pay you?
F
What difference does that make?
B
You look like a bright boy. How would you like to go to work for me, huh? You could start right now.
F
Look, Laska, if you think you can.
B
Buy me off, I'll pay 5,000 for that gun. 5,000 and Novak would never know.
F
You're crazy. He'd find out in 10 minutes.
B
He needn't tell him you couldn't get to me.
F
I don't like those kind of jokes, Lasker.
B
I'm not joking.
F
You said ten grand.
B
I said five.
F
Where's the dough?
B
In my desk.
F
I'll get it.
B
It's in the top drawer. You'll find twelve one thousand dollar bills in an envelope. Just leave the other seven there.
F
Wouldn't I be a chump to do that? All right, Lasker, where'll you take it?
B
Don't be a fool, Palette.
F
You didn't really think you were gonna buy your way out of this.
B
I certainly did. You couldn't walk out.
F
If you're alive, I'd like to see someone stop me.
B
That would be fairly simple. You see, there's a recorder in the basement. It's taking down every word of this dialogue. When you get downstairs, you'll find a couple of boys ready to usher you out.
F
You're lying.
B
Think so? I'll be glad to show you the microphone. Neat, isn't it? Looks like a cigarette box, doesn't it?
F
Why, you dirty.
B
Now there's no reason to be annoyed. Bloody. I'm still willing to stand by on my end of the bargain. Keep $5,000 and let me have the gun.
F
How do I know you won't have.
B
Me knocked off you have my word.
F
That's a hot one.
B
Naturally, you wouldn't understand, but a gentleman's word is his bond. In any event, you have no choice.
F
If Novak ever finds out, they'll kill me.
B
You should have thought of that before now. May I have the gun, please? Thank you. Yes, I wouldn't be at all surprised if this proves a wonderful arrangement.
F
You won't be sorry, Lasker. I'm the kind of guy, if you ask me, to cut off my right arm.
B
I may at that. All right, Bloody keep in touch. I'll have something for you real soon. But don't call us. We'll call you.
E
Is that you, Pauletti?
H
No, he hasn't come back yet, Mr. Novak.
E
That's funny, Red.
C
Did he call in?
H
Not that I know of.
E
What time you got?
H
Quarter past seven.
E
Better check his hotel. He should have want me again. I'll get it.
B
Yes?
I
I'd like to talk to Frank Novak, please.
E
This is Novak speaking.
I
You got a Tony Paletti working for you?
B
Why?
I
I just thought you might be interested. He sold you out to Laska.
E
Come again?
I
Laska. Bought him off. Paid him five thou.
E
Who is this?
I
Let's just say I'm a troublemaker.
E
You wouldn't care to leave your name?
I
No, I don't think so.
E
I just want to show my gratitude.
I
That's all right, Novak. I'll get my kicks reading the papers.
E
He hung up. Did you hear that, Red?
F
Yeah.
C
What do you think?
E
I think I made a mistake in polity. I never should have dealt with an amateur wire bracket in Detroit and asked him to send us an expert. On second thought, ask him to send a couple. Yeah, we'll find enough work to keep them busy.
A
Who is it?
C
Mike Wearing. Hello, Marine.
A
Well, suppose you want to see Tony.
C
Is he in?
A
Sit down.
C
Thanks.
A
Tony, you got a visitor.
C
Who is it, honey? Come out and see.
I
Oh, Mike Wearing, your old so and so. What are you doing here?
C
Well, I was in the neighborhood, so I thought I'd drop by.
I
Well, if you're not a sight for sore eyes. Hey, Marie, put up a pot of coffee, will you, sweetie?
C
No, don't bother.
I
It's no bother at all.
A
Right, honey, when have you ever been wrong?
I
What A girl. Always got a comeback.
C
So I've noticed.
I
Hey, Mike, you remember that night around Anheim when you, me and Irving Fox went out on that patrol and Irving brought in that prisoner?
B
Yeah.
C
Only turned out to be a chicken colonel from the 76th Division.
I
Oh, that was a night. I was just saying to Marie the other Night. I haven't seen you or Irving in she. It seems like years.
A
Not to me.
I
Get her. Always clowning.
A
Yeah, that's me. Milton Berle. If you'll move, I'll set the table.
C
Please don't trouble yourself. I just stopped by to see if everything's under control.
D
Why shouldn't it be?
C
Well, I don't know whether you've heard, soldier, but you've got a namesake in town. There's another Tony Paletti.
I
You call that news? According to phone book, there are 11 of them in New York.
C
The one I had in mind works for a gambler named Frank Novak.
I
So?
C
So I got a rumble that a couple of hoods just moved in from Detroit looking for him.
I
What's that got to do with me?
C
Nothing, I hope, but these boys are kind of trigger happy. I'd hate to see him make a mistake.
I
Listen, O Marie ain't either limit.
C
Mistakes have happened before, Tony. That's how they finally caught up with Murder Incorporated. I got the wrong man.
A
What do you think he should do?
C
Well, I've already called the police. And if you people have no objection, I'd like to stick close for a couple of days.
I
You're out of your mind.
B
Why?
A
I think it makes sense.
I
Now, look, honey, there's nothing to worry about.
A
What do you mean, there's nothing to worry about? Didn't you just hear him say Mike.
I
Was always a grave warrior? You should have seen him at Remagen.
C
Well, just the same, Tony, if you don't mind. I do mind.
I
The day I need a nursemaid I'll be ready for the old soldier's home. Come on, Captain, drink your coffee. They're gonna fight the Battle of the.
C
Bulls all over again.
G
86 precinct.
F
Corbett.
I
Hello, Sergeant.
C
Mike Waring.
G
Oh, I knew my luck couldn't hold out. The minute I woke up this morning, I read my horoscope and it said, beware.
C
You know, if someone tapped this phone, they wouldn't realize how much you love me.
G
I hide it real well, don't I? What's on your mind?
C
What's the latest in that Tony Paletti mess?
G
Well, we still don't know who's behind it, but from what I hear now, the boys who were imported for the job went back to Detroit.
C
Where did you pick that up? Some stoolie. And he claims they left without finding Paletti.
G
Yeah.
C
Doesn't make sense.
E
Now, look.
C
My, they wouldn't leave without doing their job. Not pros.
G
What's your interest in this anyway?
C
I told you, I've got A buddy with the same handle. I'd hate for any accidents to happen.
F
Honest.
G
You're getting to be a real old lady.
C
I'm serious, Corbett.
G
So am I. All you need's a rocking chair and you could pose for Whistler's Mother. Maybe I'll get you one for Christmas. Taxi. Taxi.
H
That's him, Dave. Let's go.
C
Hey, cab.
H
Going our way, fella? We'd be glad to give you a lift.
I
No, thanks.
H
What's the matter, you bashful?
I
Who are you?
H
Oh, that's unimportant. Question is, are you Tony Pauletti?
C
Yeah, that's right.
H
I was just telling Dave here I thought I recognized you. Remember me?
I
No.
H
Harry Froman.
C
We did a hitch in the Navy.
H
Together in the Pacific.
I
That's a good trick, because I was with the army in the Atlantic.
H
Atlantic, Pacific, what's the difference? It's all one world.
C
Get in.
I
You got the wrong palette.
H
I don't think so.
I
I tell you, you're making a mistake.
H
We'll soon find out. Let's go.
C
No.
H
Okay, sucker, then take it here.
D
45 minutes have passed since Tony Paletti was shot down on a street corner. Now we find Mike Waring down at the morgue in answer to Sergeant Corbett's call.
C
All right, Jim, what's the idea? If you think spending a Sunday afternoon here is my idea of fun, you're crazy.
G
Well, I want you to identify a body.
B
Whose?
G
Well, that's for you to decide. All right, Haskell. Oh, no. You know him?
C
You know I know him. It's Tony Paletti. I warned you about this. I had a house.
G
I know Mike, but what could we do? He refused police protection. Wouldn't even let you hang around. How did it happen? Well, there were, like 8,000 eyewitnesses. So we got 8,000 different versions. The best we've been able to put together is your friend was waiting on the corner of Amsterdam and 73rd when this blue Nash pulled up. The driver got out, let him have it.
F
Took off.
C
Anybody get the license number?
G
Yeah. Yeah. Stolen from a doctor in Brooklyn. Left the keys in the car. Seen enough?
B
Yeah.
C
It's too much.
G
Well, I ordered a pickup on the other Tony Paletti. He ought to know who was responsible.
C
But until you find him, you're stymied.
G
Well, you aren't. Somebody's gotta break the news to his wife.
C
What, you mean Marie hasn't been told yet?
B
No.
G
Looks like you're elected.
C
Oh, now, listen, Corbett.
G
He's served in your outfit, Mike. That's the least you owe Him. Now, hop to it like a good K.
A
Just a second.
C
Hello, Marie.
A
You're looking for Tony? He isn't home.
C
Will you mind if I come in?
A
You want to wait? It's all right with me. I don't know why I put up with it. He has no consideration. Promised he'd be home at 5. Probably met a couple of boys, started to fight the war over again.
C
Yeah, well, listen, Marie, there's something I've got to tell you.
A
What did he do?
C
He didn't do anything.
A
Don't kid me. I know Tony got himself in a mess and he sent you here to square it. Well, you can tell him for me.
C
No, no, you don't understand. Tony's been hurt.
A
Where is he? Where is he? I want to see him.
C
You can't.
A
I can't?
C
No. He's dead.
A
No. No.
C
I'm sorry, Marie.
A
I don't believe it. It's not true.
C
Yes, I'm afraid it is. I identified him for the police.
A
No, there must be some mistake.
C
It was. They got the wrong Tony Poletti.
A
Would you get me some water?
C
Yeah, sure. And maybe you'd like something a little stronger.
A
No, I'll be all right.
B
Here you are.
A
Thanks. Nobody could tell him anything.
C
Well, actually, who could figure this would happen?
A
You did. You warned him just a couple of days ago, but he was too smart to listen. He knew everything.
C
Look, aren't you being a little hard on him?
A
Think it's gonna be easy for me?
C
No, I suppose not. Well, look, have you got any family we can notify?
A
Family?
C
There's some friend or relative who could stay with you?
A
I got a brother in Newark.
C
I suppose we get him over here, huh? If you let me have his phone.
A
I'll call him myself.
C
Listen, Marie, I promise you one thing. I'll get the party who is responsible.
A
If it makes you feel better, go ahead. To me it makes no difference. Won't bring Tony back, but you do what you like.
C
Homicide.
G
Corbett.
C
It's me, Sergeant.
G
Oh, how are you, Mike? Did you see Mrs. Paletti?
I
Yep.
G
How'd she take it?
C
Just the way I expected. Carry on much? No, not Marie. She's your pioneer type. What's the news at your end?
G
We just picked up Tony Paletti.
C
Oh, you mean the genuine article?
F
Yeah.
C
I want to talk to him. Well, I haven't had a crack at.
G
Him myself, but if you hurry, you can join the party. I try and make it real soon.
F
You fellas ain't going to get away with this. Don't think you are. I Know my rights?
C
Anyone abusing them?
B
Bloody.
G
Yeah.
F
Where do you come off pulling me in?
G
I told you you could go as soon as you answer a few questions.
F
I told you I'm not doing any talk.
G
Now listen, you take it easy, Corbett.
E
He's right.
C
What if he won't cooperate? There's nothing you can do.
F
Now you're being smart.
G
You think so? Well, I can book you as a material witness.
C
I wouldn't.
B
No?
G
What would you do, Mr. Waring? I would let him go.
F
Now you talk.
G
Shut up. So you'd let him go?
C
Yeah, of course. You can't help it if the boys catch up with him.
F
What are you talking about?
C
Those hoods from Detroit who gunned the other Tony Paletti. I guess they must have discovered their mistake by now.
I
Yeah.
G
All right, Paletti, beat him. Well, you've been complaining you wanted to leave. But don't come crying to us when you get a half a dozen slugs in your belly. Well, what are you waiting for? No, no, I don't want to go. This ain't a boarding house.
F
You got to protect me.
I
That's the law.
F
It's your job to see nothing happens.
C
What could happen?
G
You know they're after me.
I
Who?
F
I don't know.
C
Come on, Palette.
B
Who is it?
F
I tell you, I don't know.
G
Well, what do you think, Mike?
C
Well, the man's obviously suffering from a persecution complex.
G
Oh, well, then jail certainly isn't the place for.
C
Oh, definitely not. I'd get him out on the street.
G
As soon as possible.
F
No, no, I'll tell you.
G
It's Frank Novak.
C
Why is Novak after you?
F
He got some screwy idea I sold him out.
B
Did you?
F
You take me for a rat?
C
Yes. Who does Novak think you made the deal with?
F
Jerry Laska?
G
Geralaska.
F
Huh?
G
Well, that ought to give us enough to go on. All right, Paletti, you can go.
F
No, you said I could stay. You promised.
C
They killed me if they.
F
Get me outside.
G
Okay, okay. Haskell, we're holding Paletti in protective custody. Give him the royal suite. All right, Go on. They'll take care of you.
F
Thanks, Sergeant. You won't be sorry.
G
Don't give up.
C
Nice boy.
G
Who do you think tried to get him?
C
Sounds like Novak.
G
Could be Lasker, too.
C
Yeah, it could be. Well, you take one, I'll take the other. Let's hope that between us, we wind up with the killer in the middle.
H
Looking for someone, friend?
C
Yeah. Where does Frank Novak keep himself?
E
Who?
C
You heard me. You're just trying to page apart. Is that his office.
H
Wait a minute, Buster. Mr. Novak is busy.
C
I think he'll make time for me.
H
Look, I told you something.
C
Hello, Novak.
E
Well, if it isn't that high flying bird. The falcon.
H
I think he needs his wings clipped.
C
Maybe you're the boy to do it.
H
Maybe I am.
E
That's enough, Red. Mr. Waring's an old friend of mine.
C
And I wouldn't say that. Look.
E
All right, Red. I can handle this. Now get back to the floor.
H
I'll be seeing you, mister.
C
You got a date.
E
I don't think he likes you, Mike.
C
On the other hand, who does?
E
You got a point there. What brings you here?
C
Tony Paletti, Huh? Not the one who worked for you, but the one who was murdered this afternoon. I got a feeling you were responsible.
E
Don't be silly. I didn't even know the man.
C
Neither did the killers. That was the trouble. They meant to get the other one.
E
Where'd you pick that up?
C
From the original.
E
He told you I was sore in him.
C
Weren't you?
B
Of course not.
E
Just between us, I think the man's crazy.
C
Look, Novak, Tony Poletti was my friend.
E
And naturally you want to avenge his murder.
C
I'm going to. No, Mike.
E
I like your attitude.
C
I'm not clowning. Neither am I.
E
Is that all you've got to say?
C
No. I've got lots more you have to keep.
E
I just remembered I got a call to make. But drop around again when you're in the neighborhood. Only give us a little notice next time. I'd like to be ready for you.
G
Never mind, Harold.
B
I'll answer it.
E
Hello, Lasker. Take it easy. This is a peaceful mission.
B
I may be permitted my doubts. Okay.
E
Have your boy frisk me.
B
It's exactly what I had in mind.
E
He's not the talkative type, is he?
B
I prefer it that way. Sit down.
E
Thank you.
B
Drink?
E
Why not? Was Mike Waring around to see you?
B
No.
E
Well, he will be. I just spoke with him. He's investigating the Tony Paletti murder.
B
Tony Paletti?
E
Seems there are a couple of them. This one was killed by mistake.
B
I wonder who could have blundered.
E
Me, too. Waring thinks it was one of us.
B
Absurd.
E
That's what I said, but he didn't seem too convinced. I think he ought to be straightened out.
B
I'm not sure I understand you, Novak.
E
This guy Waring can get into more hair than the new Tony. If he gets into ours, the least they'll do is to close us up.
B
That would be a pity.
E
Yeah. Now, I know a couple of boys.
B
In Detroit no thanks.
E
What's the matter?
B
Your Detroit friends don't seem to be too effective? I prefer the local product.
E
Got someone in mind, Harold? You mean the Dummy?
B
As you pointed out, Harold isn't given to talk, but he is a craftsman. It's your tools, Harold. And give Mr. Novak a demonstration.
D
20 minutes have passed since Mr. Lasker's boy Harold was instructed to give Mike Waring a demonstration of his talents. Now, as the unwilling subject and Sergeant Corbett get out of the elevator, they compare notes.
G
So you talked to Novak. Got nowhere, huh?
C
Well, you admit you didn't do any better with Lasker?
G
No, can't say as I did.
C
Well, let's go in and hold a cup.
G
Hey, your mouth's open.
C
What do you make of these scratches, huh? Near the lock.
G
Someone used a gimmick there.
C
Must have company.
A
Yeah.
G
Lights on?
B
Uh huh.
G
Wait till I get ready. Okay, kick it open. Get down. You all right, Mike?
B
Yeah.
C
The flash came from behind the sofa.
G
All right you, come on. Throw your gun in the middle of the floor.
C
I'm going in after him.
G
Don't make like a hero.
C
Your last chance, feller. I'm gonna count the three. There he is. I think you got him.
F
Don't move.
C
He's awful quiet. Cover me while I hit the lights. You got him?
G
It looks like. Turn him over. Well, what do you know.
C
You recognize him?
G
Yeah, they call him the Dummy. His name is Harold Plant.
C
I wonder what he had against me.
G
You were trying to find Tony Paletti's killer.
C
You think this is our boy?
G
Well, he worked for Lasker. But I didn't see Laska. No, but I bet Novak did. 5 will get you 10 they plan this little surprise together.
C
You're probably right. Get him out of here, William.
F
Hey, where you going?
C
Over to see Mrs. Paletti. Just make sure you don't leave the place in a mess.
B
Hello?
C
Marie.
A
It's you.
C
Just dropped by to report.
A
Come on in, Mike.
C
Thanks. Are you alone?
A
No, my brother's here from Newark. He just stepped out to get a paper.
C
Did you make any arrangements for Tony's funeral?
A
You don't have to be afraid to say the word. It's going to be Tuesday. You coming?
B
Of course.
A
You think of anybody else that should be notified, let me know.
C
I'll call the boys myself. They almost had a double headed.
A
What do you mean?
C
Some hood was waiting for me in my apartment. Luckily, Sergeant Corbett proved a better shot.
A
Who was it?
C
A boy they called the Dummy. He works for Lasker.
A
You think he was the one that killed Tony?
C
No, I don't think so. For one thing, the eyewitnesses who saw the murder said Tony talked to the man who shot him. This boy was a mute.
A
Maybe he was the one driving the car.
C
I doubt it.
A
Well, it's not important.
C
As a matter of fact, it's very important. How did you know there were two men involved in Tony's murder?
A
You said so.
C
I don't see how I could have. I didn't know it myself. According to the reports, there was only one.
A
So I made a mistake.
C
Yes, you did, Angel.
E
A bad one.
A
What are you talking about?
C
You were responsible for Tony's murder.
A
You feel all right?
C
And you heard me tell him his namesake was in trouble. It gave you ideas.
A
You're crazy.
C
Must have figured it was too good an opportunity to miss. Why did you do it, Marie? He loved you.
A
You know, you can be pretty dull.
C
Well, if you think I am, wait till you get a load of Sergeant Corbett. Get your coat.
A
What for?
C
We're going down to headquarters.
A
Okay, if it'll make you happy.
B
Yeah.
C
Hold it. Just leave your bag right there.
A
I wouldn't expect expect me to go out with a good looking man without powdering my nose.
F
I said drop it.
C
Come on, Marie, drop it. I'll break your arm. Frankly, after your little stunt, I don't.
F
Even need that much.
I
Excuse.
E
Me.
G
Well, just goes to show you. Who'd ever thunk this was just a case of a Dane trying to get rid of her husband.
C
Well, I would have if I'd had any brains. The signs were there all along, Corbett.
G
I don't see where.
C
You told me those hoods from Detroit left town without finding the other Tony Paletti. That should have been the tip off my information.
G
Could have been wrong. Why'd she do it anyway?
C
That's what got me. Then I realized her brother from Newark must have supplied the motive.
E
Huh?
C
He wasn't her brother.
G
You mean the two of us? Suppose Tony knew?
C
No, he was the trusting type. I can't help thinking it's all my fault.
G
Ah, don't be a SAP.
C
Well, if I hadn't told him about the other Tony Paletti being hot, this stunt might never have occurred to Marie.
G
Now don't kid yourself. When a dame like Mrs. Paletti makes up her mind about something, that's it. She didn't need anyone to give her ideas. She had plenty of her own and.
C
Her last one was murder.
G
Well, good night, Sergeant.
Original Air Date: May 25, 1952
Podcast Release Date: November 13, 2025
Series Host: Choice Classic Radio
In this classic detective episode, "The Case of the Happy Hoodlum," The Falcon (Mike Waring) is embroiled in a complex tale of mobsters, mistaken identity, and a tragic murder. Featuring sharp-tongued banter and noir suspense, the story revolves around a mob power struggle that leads to the unintended killing of an innocent man—with the Falcon racing to unravel the truth behind the crime. The theme is classic Golden Age radio: a battle of wits, gangland betrayals, and a twist that hits close to home for the Falcon.
Classic hard-boiled detective fare—cynical, sharp, and suffused with the dark irony of mistaken identity and betrayal. Dialogue crackles with witty asides and tough-guy banter, reflecting the Golden Age radio tradition. The emotional climax is somber, with Waring’s regret at being unwittingly involved in his friend’s death.
This episode of "The Falcon" deftly combines mob intrigue, mistaken identity, and personal tragedy. What starts as a simple mob rivalry escalates into a tangle of betrayal and murder, culminating in a twist where the true villain is someone close to the victim. In classic noir fashion, everyone carries a motive, but it’s the quiet domestic betrayal that ultimately shocks both The Falcon and the audience.