The Saint: Cupid and the Corpse

Summary

Podcast Summary: Choice Classic Radio Detectives

Episode: The Saint — "Cupid and the Corpse"

Release Date: March 15, 2026
Host: Choice Classic Radio
Starring: Vincent Price as Simon Templar (“The Saint”)

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Overview

In this classic radio detective episode, Simon Templar, aka “The Saint,” is drawn into a web of murder, gambling debts, and forged bonds. What begins as a date night with Anne quickly turns into a dangerous investigation involving rival mobsters, a mysterious woman, and a deadly surprise party. The plot is packed with intrigue, witty banter, and classic noir suspense, showcasing Simon Templar’s signature blend of charm, deduction, and moral ambiguity.

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Key Discussion Points & Plot Breakdown

1. Interrupted Romance and a Murder [01:04–03:56]

• Simon and Anne’s night out turns dramatic:
  Anne teases Simon about being a distraction after her trip, hinting at a rekindled romance.
• Murder at the cigar shop:
  Their quest for football tickets at Tony Cartego’s cigar store is cut short when they discover Tony near death, shot but alive enough to gasp out a cryptic clue.
  Quote:
  • Tony (dying): “Don’t know... Bon’s effect...” [03:51]
• Immediate danger:
  Simon attempts to call police, but two gunmen enter. Simon is knocked unconscious.

2. Hostages, Escape, and Revelations [05:26–08:06]

• Simon and Anne tied up:
  Anne’s quick thinking (and charm) allow her to free herself and eventually Simon.
  Quote:
  • Simon: “Never again will I underestimate the persuasive powers of women.” [06:32]
• Identity of a mysterious woman revealed:
  Anne realizes the woman fleeing Tony’s was Betty Streeter, engaged to her old flame, Jack Landers.

3. The Streeter Family and an Attempted Hit [09:40–11:50]

• Visit to the Streeter home:
  Simon and Anne meet Jack and Betty Streeter.
• Shootout:
  A gunman fires into the house, injuring Mr. Streeter.
  Quote:
  • Simon: “Well, now that quiet has descended... it might be pertinent to inquire as to the state of Mr. Streeter’s health.” [10:59]
• Rival gangster named:
  Duke Raymond is accused of trying to take over Streeter’s warehouse. Templar is hired to “clear Duke Raymond out of the way.”
  Quote:
  • Streeter: “$10,000 if you get Duke Raymond out of the way. Nothing if you don’t.” [12:10]

4. A Gambler's Boat and a Deadly Intercept [12:56–16:13]

• Out to sea:
  Simon and Anne are forced at gunpoint to take a speedboat to the gambling ship “Black Deuce,” run by Duke Raymond.
• Sabotage & a narrow escape:
  Another boat tries to ram them; Simon and Anne barely survive.
  Quote:
  • Simon: “Imagine that, Duke Raymond sleeping during business hours. You’ll never get ahead that way, old boy.” [18:32]

5. The Printing Press Clue [19:18–22:28]

• Back to town, an overlooked clue:
  Simon investigates a warehouse next to a printing company—guided by Tony's dying words.
• Grim discovery:
  Inside the darkened print shop, they find the body of the man who tried to kill Mr. Streeter—identified by a gunshot wound to the leg.
  Quote:
  • Simon: “He’s been tied up, gagged, strangled, and shot in the leg.” [20:36]
• Clues to the motive:
  Simon finds engraved plates for forged bonds, realizing forgery was central to the motive.

6. The Surprise Party Trap [23:11–26:41]

• Gathering the suspects:
  Simon lures all involved to Tony’s cigar shop with cryptic phone calls about “bonds.”
• Revelations:
  The trail leads back to Jack Landers, who tried to clear his gambling debt to Duke Raymond with forged bonds.
• Showdown:
  • Jack pulls a gun: “Pretty sharp, aren’t you, Templar? Got it all figured out.” [25:58]
  • Pete the thug shoots Jack before he can act.
  • Duke is subdued and arrested.
• Simon’s fee:
  Simon playfully requests a $10,000 check for charity from a relieved Mr. Streeter.

7. Case Closed — Tying Up the Loose Ends [27:04–28:45]

• Explanations:
  Simon explains that Jack, desperate to pay his gambling debt, masterminded the forgery plot and killed to silence those who knew.
• Key deduction:
  Simon realized Jack was guilty because the same lipstick mark Anne left on Jack was found on the handkerchief used to gag a victim.
  Quote:
  • Simon: “Because he kissed lipstick, Anne... The handkerchief that gagged Travers had lipstick on it, too.” [28:11]
• Classic Saint ending:
  Flirtation resumes between Simon and Anne, ending with a playful kiss to prove her kisses aren’t deadly.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Simon’s wit:
  • “Never again will I underestimate the persuasive powers of women.” [06:32]
  • “Now, that's a rather silly question, Duke. You came here looking for bonds didn’t you?” [24:03]
• On forgeries:
  • “If you tried to sell those bonds, you'd have been arrested. They were forgeries. Follies. You sure about that?” [25:39]
• The lipstick clue:
  • “When I called [the lipstick] to his attention, he wiped it off with his handkerchief. And the handkerchief that gagged Travers had lipstick on it, too.” [28:11]
• Closing banter:
  • Anne: “And to think that just because he kissed me, he’s dead.”
    Simon: “I wouldn’t feel that way about it if I were you. Your kisses wouldn’t kill anyone, and I can prove it.” [28:31]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Tony’s Murder and Dying Clue: [03:03–03:51]
• Anne’s Great Escape: [05:26–06:32]
• Meeting the Streeters & Shooting: [09:40–11:09]
• Duke Raymond Revealed as Antagonist: [11:23–12:10]
• Boat Ambush and Escape: [15:00–16:13]
• Printing Press Discovery: [19:18–22:28]
• Trap Set at Cigar Store: [23:11–25:53]
• Jack’s Confession and Death: [25:54–26:21]
• Simon Explains the Lipstick Clue: [28:11–28:45]

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Tone & Style

• The episode blends suspenseful detective noir with frequent witty, flirtatious banter—especially between Simon and Anne.
• The storytelling remains brisk, clever, and peppered with classic 1940s-style crime drama repartee.

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For Listeners

You don’t need to have heard previous episodes to enjoy this one—“Cupid and the Corpse” is a stand-alone tale packed with all the twists and vintage radio charm that make The Saint such an enduring character. If you love criminal puzzles, classic detectivism, and sharp dialogue, this episode is a Golden Age treat.

Transcript

[A]

Welcome to Choice Classic Radio where we bring to you the greatest old time radio shows like us on Facebook, subscribe to us on YouTube and thank you for [e-mail]. The Adventures of the Saint. Starring Vincent Price. The Saint. Based on characters created by Leslie Charters and known to millions from books, magazines and motion pictures, the Robin Hood of modern crime now comes transcribed to radio starring Hollywood's brilliant and talented actor, Vincent Price as the Saint.

[B]

You know something, Simon, darling?

[A]

Some things, Anne. Among them the fact that you're a very disturbing person.

[B]

Perhaps that's my answer then.

[A]

Answer to what?

[B]

May I ask why you phoned me the moment I return from Bermuda? I've been wondering why. You're gonna ply me with a football game, a dinner and a play.

[A]

Why not just relax and enjoy it?

[B]

I'd like to. Particularly when I remember that last evening we spent together in Bermuda before you had to fly back to the States on some nasty murder business or other.

[A]

Yes, that was quite an evening, wasn't it?

[B]

Quite.

[A]

You know, you're very beautiful.

[B]

I've always enjoyed your thinking so, Simon.

[A]

Well, in as much as I have a tremendous distaste for murder interfering with moonlight, I now intend to take up where we left off.

[B]

At a football game.

[A]

Oh, well, it'll be a good game. As a matter of fact, it had better be the trouble I had digging up tickets for it. Well, here we are. Anne.

[B]

My things have changed since I was in Bermuda. Imagine, they're now holding football games in cigar stores instead of stadiums.

[A]

This happens to be Tony Cartego's little establishment. There's an office inside where Tony conducts his main business, which consists of handling bets and scalping tickets.

[B]

Oh, you do know the loveliest people,

[A]

Simon, for which you should offer thanks. We couldn't get any seats to today's game otherwise. Tony has a couple for us. Oh, well, didn't your mother ever tell you that it's not polite to go running into people that way?

[B]

I'm terribly sorry. I didn't see you. My apologies.

[A]

Not bad. Nice manners, too. I wonder why she came tearing out of Tony's that way.

[B]

If you're interested, Tony can probably tell you. I wonder where I've seen that girl before.

[A]

Some harpies huddle, I imagine. Come on, let's go in.

[B]

Ooh, someplace. I bet you couldn't buy cigars in here for love of money.

[A]

And I'm not sucker enough to lay odds against that. The real business is conducted right in here. Are you, Tony? I want you to meet you better stand back, Aunt. My old grandmother would often say. Yikes.

[B]

Yes, I see. He's been shot, hasn't he?

[A]

I'm afraid so. He's still alive, though. Tony. Tony, who did it? Can you hear me, Tony? Who gunned you? No, I didn't, Duke. He knows it's me, Tony Templar. Who shot you? Don't know Bon's effect. Print that.

[B]

Oh, Simon, is he.

[A]

He is. Well, there's nothing to do but call the police.

[B]

Why, Simon the Saint. Calling in the police on a case. What's happened to you?

[A]

It's very simple, Anne. I'm much more interested in a beautiful woman.

[B]

Oh, thank you.

[A]

You're welcome.

[B]

Well, why don't you call them? Oh, a visitor.

[A]

Two visitors, darling. A man and a gun. That phone's getting kind of heavy, ain't it, mister? The phone. Oh, yes. Come to think of it, it is kind of heavy at that. I'll take care of it for you. That's better. You know, you're the second person we've met today who should read Emily Post. Don't you know it isn't polite to point at people, Particularly with a gun? Shut up. And it's also impolite to tell people. Shut up.

[B]

You see what he means, darling? He wants you to shut up.

[A]

Oh, is that it? I wondered what he was driving at. That's very fun. I'm so glad you liked it, though. I have a better routine that goes like, Give me that diamond. Oh, you know what? He was beginning

[B]

diam. Get up, Simon, get up. You killed him.

[A]

He's just sleeping. Maybe that gun over his head will earn him a thing or two. And if you're smart, you won't kick up any fuss. They just as soon kiss you too.

[B]

Kiss me?

[A]

Yeah. With the butt of my gun. Now, relax, baby.

[B]

Simon, wake up. Simon, wake up. Oh, come on, Simon, wake up.

[A]

Let's leave a later call.

[B]

Oh, Simon.

[A]

All right, Anne. Hey, what goes on here? We're tied up.

[B]

Yes, Pete thought we'd be more tractable that way.

[A]

You know something? He's right. Where are we? How'd we get here?

[B]

Pete, he's the guy who conked you. And a buddy of his named Louie brought us here. A warehouse of some kind. We're in one of the storage bins on the first floor.

[A]

Nice. Are we stored away for the winter?

[B]

No, no. With a little luck, we'll be out of here in five minutes.

[A]

Mistaken identity. And I'm not Superman. And these ropes are pretty tight and strong, darling.

[B]

Yours may be, but mine Aren't. I've had them loose enough to throw off for 15 minutes. I was just waiting for you to wake up.

[A]

Now, don't tell me you're a superwoman.

[B]

No. Now I owe it all to dear, sweet Louis. When I looked at him piteously out of my big blue eyes, he just couldn't tie me up too tightly. I worked myself free while you were sleeping soundly in the corner.

[A]

Never again will I underestimate the persuasive powers of women. Now, see what you can do about getting me loose. There's a little knife in my vest pocket. That might help. Right.

[B]

Oh, be careful.

[A]

I'm kicking.

[B]

I've got it. You know, Simon, I just remembered who that girl was we saw running out of Tony's place.

[A]

Yeah? Who is she?

[B]

Betty Streeter.

[A]

She.

[B]

Ah, there. That fixes up your hands.

[A]

Thanks. Now let's have the knife. I'll get my legs loose myself.

[B]

Here.

[A]

Betty Streeter, the luscious lollipop whose picture's been in the newspapers lately over an engagement or something.

[B]

Yes, that's right. She's engaged to Jack Landers, an old boyfriend of mine.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

Oh, lucky girl. Jack is so handsome and fascinating.

[A]

It's very interest. There, the legs are loose. Now let's see if I can stand up there.

[B]

How do you feel?

[A]

Loud side of that bomb burst in my head. And the fact that my legs are apparently cut off at the knee.

[B]

Simon, someone's coming.

[A]

Split those ropes over you and lie down on the floor, quick. Okay, Simon, when he comes in, make with those baby blues and attract his attention for a minute. I'll be behind the door.

[B]

And then what?

[A]

Well, I won't be dealing a hand of canasta. Quiet now.

[B]

Well, hello, Petey. How do you feel?

[A]

Fine, baby, fine. Just come back to I had a boyfriend. Where is he? Here I am, Pete with a peachy clean.

[B]

Now that's what I call more like it.

[A]

Come on now, on your feet. I better pick up more Pete's pop gun. Now let's get out of here.

[B]

That's the first sensible thing you've said today. Let's. What's that noise, Simon?

[A]

I don't know, but it sounds like my head feels. There's no time to delve into strange noises now, my sweet. Come on, let's go quietly. You know, I wonder if Louie the other mug is hanging around.

[B]

No, no. After Pete searched you and didn't find anything, I heard him say he was going to report to the boss.

[A]

I guess he's still reporting then. Place Seems deserted. Oh, look, there's the front door. Let's head for it.

[B]

Well, it's certainly nice to be out of there. Yeah.

[A]

Hey, what was the name of that girl again?

[B]

Anne? Girl? Oh, Betty Streeter. Why?

[A]

Look at the sign on this building.

[B]

Sign, Simon. It says Streeter's Warehouse.

[A]

Yeah, that's what it says, doesn't it? Come on, Anne, let's find out what this is all about.

[B]

Simon, darling, I thought you were going to call the police.

[A]

Anne, darling, that was before Petey hit me up over the head with his gun barrel.

[B]

Oh, I was afraid of that. Okay, what's our first stop?

[A]

First, we find ourselves a nice telephone directory.

[B]

May I ask why?

[A]

To find out what street the Streeters live on. Guess who?

[B]

Anne. Hello, Jack. Remember me?

[A]

Remember you? Oh, Anne, sweetheart, if you don't think so, get a load of this.

[B]

Jack. That's a rather warm greeting after all these years. Oh.

[A]

Oh, yes.

[B]

Simon, I want you to meet an old friend of mine, Jack Landers. Jack, this is Simon Templer.

[A]

Glad to see you, Templar, but not as glad as you are to see Anne. Well, not quite. Come on in. Thank you. What are you folks doing here anyhow?

[B]

We came to see Betty Streeter. This is where she lives, isn't it, Betty?

[A]

Yes. Remember the girl you're engaged to? Sure. Run along. She's in the living room with her father. Say, by the way, Landers, have you got a handkerchief? Handkerchief? Yeah, of course. Why? Well, I have heard that misplaced lipstick is a better detonator for atomic blast than plutonium. And before the two girls meet, maybe a right template. Well, Betty.

[B]

Simon.

[A]

Holy smoke. What was that? Either Betty's involved in a premature explosion or they were shots. Come on, let's see the living room template to the left. I'm with you. Stay back. Anne.

[B]

Betty. Betty, was. Jack, someone shot at us through the window. Dad's hurt each other.

[A]

Look after Mr. Peter, Jack. I'll take care of the guy at the window.

[B]

Well, be careful, Simon. He may still be out of here.

[A]

Now she tells. Let me get a crack at him. Templars.

[B]

Did you get him, Jack?

[A]

I think I got him in the leg. He stumbled after the first shot, but he got away in that car. Well, now that quiet has descended once again, it might be pertinent to inquire as to the state of Mr. Streeter's health.

[B]

Oh, it. It's nothing serious. Just a slight flesh wound.

[A]

Slight wound is it? Feels like my whole dad. Blasted arm's been torn off. You any idea who was so interested in perforating the Streeter's skin. Mr. Streeter? I'll say I have. It was one of.

[B]

Dad, dad, there's no need to talk like that now.

[A]

Bastard. Betty, there's no reason for me to hide things. That crook's been trying to chisel in on my warehouse business for over a year. He's taken one of them over already. You couldn't possibly be talking about Duke Raymond, could you? That's right. Templar. He threatened Mr. Streeter before. Looks as though he sent one of his gunmen around to enforce that threat.

[B]

Oh, you've got to give in to him, dad. The next time, you won't be so lucky. You ought to realize now that he won't stop at anything.

[A]

Give in? Nonsense. I hate to sound mercenary, Mr. Streeter, but how much would it be worth to you to get your skirts cleared of Duke Raymond? How much would it be worth? Who are you? My name's Simon Templar, if that means anything to you.

[B]

A saint.

[A]

I'll confess it. Does that startle you, Ms. Streeter?

[B]

Oh, why, why, why, no, not at all. I. I just didn't expect.

[A]

Of course. After all, only sinners need be frightened by saints, Mr. Streeter. What do you say? All right, I'll make you an offer. $10,000 if you get Duke Raymond out of the way. Nothing if you don't. You've just made yourself a deal, Simon.

[B]

You taking money for a case?

[A]

Juries award damages for broken hearts, Anne. And you have no idea how badly I feel about letting Cupid down. Well, Miss Morley, this is our famous riverfront. How do you like it?

[B]

I do.

[A]

Now, there's the spot we're heading for. Do you see it?

[B]

Well, I see some speedboats moored at a dock, if that's what you're talking about. Any particular reason for coming here?

[A]

The usual reason. We're going for a little boat ride. How much for the ride, buddy? 12 miles south, 12 miles back for a buck. That's fair enough. Come on, Anne, let's get in.

[B]

You know, the more I think about this, Simon, the crazier I think you are. Why would anyone want to travel 12 miles out into the ocean?

[A]

To see Duke Raymond, of course.

[B]

Oh, I see. He's playing Father Neptune on top of a wave, I presume.

[A]

Not exactly. You'll see when we get out there. And I'll expect a great big apology for those words when we get back. You mean if you get back, don't you? Temper, Simon. Yeah, I see that man's here again. Tell me, Petey, my Friend, what are you doing here? You coming along for a ride? That's right, pal. You know, after paying a buck for 12 miles out and 12 miles back, I think I've got a right be particular about the kind of company I have. Well, don't let it bother you. Palace gun in my hand makes us equals. Besides, you better pay only half a buck.

[B]

Why only half a dollar, Petey?

[A]

Because it's cheaper by the dozen. Right, Petey? Yeah, yeah, you'll get the idea, pal. You may be going 12 miles out, but I don't think you're ever coming. You know, Pete, this ride hasn't been very comfortable so far. That gun sticking in my back irritates. Yeah, it's too bad, ain't it? Sympathetic so, aren't you? Oh, well, the ride's nearly over. There's Duke Raymond up ahead.

[B]

That's funny. I don't see anything but an old freighter out there.

[A]

That's it, lady. The black dudes.

[B]

The Black Deuce. Wait. Name, isn't it?

[A]

It's a quaint ship. Gambling is the special thing.

[B]

And I always thought that was against the law.

[A]

That's when you're 12 miles out and you're Duke Raymond. It isn't. You see?

[B]

Simon, isn't that a cabin cruiser coming up behind us?

[A]

It's coming up fast, too. And no lights on. I don't like that. Don't like it at all.

[B]

Oh, don't worry, Pete. It's just pulling ahead of us, I guess.

[A]

Hey.

[B]

Hey.

[A]

What do you think it's doing?

[B]

Simon, the boat's turned toward us. It's gonna run into it. Hickey. Dicky, look out. You're gonna ram us.

[A]

You got it. How you doing, Anne?

[B]

Oh, all right so far, but not much.

[A]

Just a couple of more strokes will do it. Keep it up. And a girl. Just two more now.

[B]

Oh, I thought we'd never get here.

[A]

Must have been telepathy. Wait a minute. I'll climb on board. Okay, now that does it. Okay, now give me your hand.

[B]

Okay, Simon, easy does it. Quite an experience, I'd say. Where are we?

[A]

We're in a speedboat moored to the Black Deuce. Which reminds me, it's time to go to work.

[B]

Oh, yeah? You're not actually going aboard that ship, are you?

[A]

That was my original intention, wasn't it? Besides, Pete and his boyfriend will drown if I don't get help out to him.

[B]

And you've got to earn that $10,000, as I know.

[A]

Right as usual, angel. Now listen closely. Do you know how to run a speedboat?

[B]

Yes. Yes, I do.

[A]

I've got a funny idea. You're gonna have to run one in a very few minutes. Hi, Duke. Who are you? I'm Simon Templet, the man Pete was supposed to bring in. Pardon? The wet clothes, this damp sea air. You know, worst, Pete. The last time I saw him, he was hanging onto a wrecked speedboat a couple of hundred yards away. Hanging on to a big. Come on, get down to cases, Templar. What's the racket, Duke? I have a funny hunch you're gonna lay off Streeter's business. Am I? What makes you think so? A possible murder rap. You're talking, Templar. Tony Cartega was bumped off. Why? You're so smart. You ought to know. Maybe I do. I'd guess it was because he knew too much about bonds, but. Yeah, you know, securities. Negotiable ones. Worth a lot of dough. Where'd you get that idea? From Tony. He talked before he died. He mentioned you and Barnes. Tony always talk too much. You talk too much, too. I'm beginning to get what you mean. I thought you would, you know, Duke. There you are, sitting behind that desk with a gun in your hand. I wonder. You wonder what? I wonder how you'd look with that desk on top of you. I'm too bad, Duke. You missed me. Sorry I can't do the same. Now. Imagine that, Duke. Raymond sleeping during business hours. You'll never get ahead that way, old boy. Horatio Alger would positively frown upon you. Nice going, Anne. Thank you kindly for picking me up out of the water.

[B]

If I'd known what was going to happen, I wouldn't have. When I saw you dive off that rail and all those people started shooting at you.

[A]

Oh, just a necessary unpleasantness, my sweet. I had to get some information from Duke about Barnes.

[B]

Barnes gonna play the market?

[A]

Right now I'm playing the field. There's a murderer in it. And I'm going to start at Mr. Streeter's warehous. This way, Anne.

[B]

That way. The warehouse is over to the left side.

[A]

Sure, but we're going next door.

[B]

And just what do you expect to find there, Sherlock?

[A]

A printing press, of course. There, you see the Travers Printing Company.

[B]

Well, I see it, but I can't understand it. How did you know this place was here? And why look for a printer?

[A]

Tony Cartega told me to look for one just before he died. And as for this place. You remember the thumping noise we heard as we were leaving the warehouse?

[B]

Why, of course. It was made by a printing press.

[A]

Sure, that's what I thought. Well, shall we go in?

[B]

At this hour? It's so dark nobody will be in there.

[A]

Two facts would impress me no end. Now let me see. I should have some keys in my pocket.

[B]

Why bother? That door is already partially open.

[A]

You're right.

[B]

Oh, this is black as pitch in here.

[A]

Can't risk a light until we're sure it's empty.

[B]

There's a crack of light over there. Seems to come from a doorway into another room. I wonder if.

[A]

Oh, what's the matter?

[B]

I hit my foot against something. Something soft.

[A]

You don't say. Suppose you look up at the ceiling while I shine this pencil flash down.

[B]

Oh, Simon.

[A]

Perfectly expressed.

[B]

He's dead, isn't he?

[A]

Well, if he's not, he ought to be. He's been tied up, gagged, strangled and shot in the leg.

[B]

Who is he?

[A]

I think he's the gentleman who tried to kill Mr. Streeter.

[B]

Well, how do you.

[A]

Because Jack shot him in the leg, remember? He's probably Mr. Travers, the printer.

[B]

What is it, Simon? Why'd you turn off the light?

[A]

Cause that light in the other room just went out and I hate to be a non conformist.

[B]

Where are you going?

[A]

I'm going to step over there and see what's up.

[B]

Oh, be careful, Simon. Simon, are you all right?

[A]

I'm not sure, but I'll risk it. I'm going after him.

[B]

Oh, look out, Simon. He's a killer. What is? What's wrong?

[A]

Whoever it was locked and bolted this door. I'll have to kick it down.

[B]

Watch. Someone may still be in there.

[A]

You have the most pessimistic thoughts. Wait till I find the light switch.

[B]

Well, nobody's here. He must have gone out that window.

[A]

And if I hadn't been idiot enough to bump into something in the dark, this case might have been over by now.

[B]

Either that or you'd have been dead. I. That funny hissing sound?

[A]

That was the flame under that lead pot over there.

[B]

What's cooking?

[A]

Printers use them to melt their old Linotype slugs in.

[B]

Yes, but why would that be going now? Do you think the killer left?

[A]

There was a reason I wanted you along tonight. You've just hit it. There's the typhoon. Yes, and see those engraved copper and zinc plates on that work table? If we'd come in a few minutes later, they'd have been in that lead pot.

[B]

But what are they?

[A]

I'm not so good at reading upside down and backwards, but 6% debentures, state of secured highway taxes. So that's it.

[B]

What would you Mind explaining, son?

[A]

Later, darling. First I've got a little surprise party to prepare.

[B]

Surprise party?

[A]

Yeah, as soon as I remove the handkerchief gag from Mr. Travers, send a message to Duke Raymond and make a few phone calls. We'll go to the scene of the party.

[B]

How nice. Now, what's going to happen there?

[A]

What usually happens at a surprise party?

[B]

Oh, don't tell me. I know. One very foxy murderer is going to get a great big surprise. So the surprise party is going to be at Tony Cartego's place, Right?

[A]

You are. In there it is.

[B]

Now, what's going to happen, Simon? All I know is that you called a lot of people in a disguised voice and told them something about Barnes and Tony's. Why?

[A]

Well, if you look inside the cigar store, what do you see?

[B]

Why, there's a light inside.

[A]

Correct. That must mean one of the guests has arrived. Look, quiet as we go in. I want to see if that's an early bird or a worm.

[B]

Seems to be awfully busy looking for something.

[A]

Let's help the poor soul find it. Hello, Betty. What's the matter, Betty? Looking for some bonds?

[B]

Bonds?

[A]

The ones you were called about this morning.

[B]

I don't know what you're talking about, Betty.

[A]

That'll never do. However, I wasn't the one who called you this morning.

[B]

How did you know about that?

[A]

May we join the party, Jack? Hello there. All right, temper. What's this all about? Hello, gentlemen. Nice of you to come, Mr. Streeter. Jack, I was just talking to Betty about that phone call of this morning. What did your caller say, Betty? Something about your father's life being endangered over some bonds and that you'd better get down here fast to save him. My life in danger? What kind of nonsense is that? It wasn't nonsense to Betty. She came down here all right. We walked in right after Betty left and found Tony Cartego dead. Now, just a minute. You're making a pretty dangerous accusation there, Templar. Happens to be true, Mr. Streeter. Duke Raymond forced you to sell him that warehouse next to the Travers Printing Company, didn't he? Yes, and it took a lot of force. He ruined the business by destroying merchandise, wrecking trucks, the usual racketeering methods. I had to sell to stop losing money. Maybe you better not talk so much, Streeter. Yeah, maybe it won't be healthy. Well, well, well. More guests. Duke Raymond and Teague. Yeah. Yeah, that's right. Sampler. What gives here? Now, that's a rather silly question, Duke. You came here looking for bonds, didn't you? So your message was A frame, huh, chum? Only in a manner of speaking, chum. Someone in this room owed you money from gambling, didn't they, Duke? And promised to pay in negotiable securities to be left until called for here at Tony Cartega's. Sure story, Templar. Keep talking. But when Pete came to pick up the bonds for you, they were missing and Tony was dead. It's lucky for you, too. If you tried to sell those bonds, you'd have been arrested. They were forgeries. Follies. You sure about that? I know it and I can prove it.

[B]

Surprise, surprise, surprise.

[A]

What do you think of your gambling friend now, Duke? That dirty double crosser with all that dough in the family, too. Oh, no gun. Rather's gonna. No, you don't. Okay, stop right there.

[B]

He's got a gun.

[A]

Isn't that strange, Ann? I was thinking the same thing.

[B]

Jack. Oh, no, Jack, not you.

[A]

Pretty sharp, aren't you, Templar? Got it all figured out. Oh, I've been known to get around Landers. Anyway, it was rather obvious. Particularly after you kissed Anne.

[B]

After he kissed me? What did that have to do with it?

[A]

Well, you see. And I got something to say first.

[B]

Peter. Oh, son. He's dead.

[A]

Yes. Good old Pete. He never misses. There, there, my dear. Thanks for keeping him busy while I went for my gun to. Oh, think nothing of it, Pete. And to show my appreciation. Here. What's the big idea, Duke? Let's not be hasty, shall we? I've got a gun, too. The one I borrowed from you aboard your ship. Get on the phone and call the police.

[B]

You bet, Simon. Right away.

[A]

It's for you, Mr. Streeter. Get out your checkbook. The amount is 10,000, payable to your favorite charity. Your friend, Duke Raymond won't bother you again for a long, long time. Would you like another drink? Here.

[B]

No, thank you, Simon. I suppose I should thank you for a lovely day.

[A]

It had its points. But the football game might have been more exciting.

[B]

I doubt it. But I still need some answers.

[A]

Don't you see, Ann? Jack was terrified when he couldn't pay Duke the huge gambling debt he owed him. So he hit on the idea of forging bonds. He had Travers print them.

[B]

But I still don't understand why he killed Travers.

[A]

He had to make sure that Travers wouldn't talk. So when Jack went to the print shop to destroy the evidence of the forged plates, he destroyed Travers, Duke.

[B]

Yes, but why was Tony killed?

[A]

Tony held the bonds for Duke. But when he discovered they were forged, he called the Streeter home. Yes, Betty got the message and hurried down to see what it was all about. She thought Tony was talking about her father.

[B]

And Jack was there, overheard the conversation and beat her to Tony.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And he tried to kill us with a cruiser to stop us from getting Duke's story.

[A]

He was a busy little man.

[B]

Okay, mastermind, I guess I've got it. Except for that crack about the kiss. How come you knew Jack Landers was guilty? Because he kissed lipstick, aunt. What? Lipstick?

[A]

Yeah, you see, after you kissed him, he had lipstick all over his face. When I called it to his attention, he wiped it off with his handkerchief. And the handkerchief that gagged Travers had lipstick on it, too.

[B]

Oh, and to think that just because he kissed me, he's dead.

[A]

I wouldn't feel that way about it if I were you. Your kisses wouldn't kill anyone, and I can prove it.

[B]

Can you, Simon?

[A]

Sure. Watch. There, you see?

[B]

I guess you're right.

[A]

Oh, please don't agree so quickly, Anne.

[B]

Why not?

[A]

I'm seriously considering making a lifetime work out of proving it. You've been listening to another transcribed Adventure of the Saint, the Robin Hood of modern crime. Now here's our star, Vincent Price. Ladies and gentlemen, in tonight's cast, you heard Shirley Mitchell, Barbara Iler, Jack Moyles, Tom Brown, Edmund McDonald and Anthony Barrett. This is Vincent Price inviting you to join us again next week at this same time for another exciting adventure of the Saints. Good night.