Podcast Summary

Choice Classic Radio Detectives | Old Time Radio

Episode: The Saint – "The Miracle Tea Party" (Audition with Dennis Greene)

Date: October 26, 2025
Host: Choice Classic Radio
Featured Characters: Simon Templar (The Saint), Patricia Holm, Inspector John Henry Fernak, Leslie Charteris (author)

Brief Overview

In this lively episode, listeners are introduced to Simon Templar—“The Saint”—in the classic radio audition “The Miracle Tea Party,” performed by Dennis Greene. Walthering between charming banter and suspenseful investigation, the story launches the Saint into a mysterious case involving espionage, coded messages over radio airwaves, and a criminal syndicate disguised behind the facade of a miracle health tea. Leslie Charteris, creator of The Saint, personally introduces his creation, setting the stage for an hour packed with witty repartee, thriller twists, and vintage detective style.

Key Discussion Points & Story Breakdown

1. Introduction to The Saint

• [00:00–03:13]
  • The Announcer sets the tone with praise for The Saint’s global popularity and literary pedigree.
  • Leslie Charteris, the author, joins to explain The Saint’s unique character—humorous, irreverent, and motivated by a personal code of justice.
  • Charteris introduces the upcoming mystery: “The Miracle Tea Party.”
  • Key quote:

    • “He has a sense of humor. He never takes anything too seriously, not even himself. Of course, he has his own idealistic motives for poking the ungodly in the snoot, but he really thinks it’s quite a lot of fun, too.” – Leslie Charteris (02:28)

2. Setup: Inspector Fernak and the Miracle Tea

• [03:09–07:56]
  • Inspector Fernak, beleaguered by stress and indigestion, is pressurized by the Police Commissioner about an espionage case.
  • Fernak, seeking relief, is told to purchase “Miracle Tea” at a drugstore, unwittingly stepping into a criminal plot.
  • Chaos ensues when Fernak receives a suspicious package by mistake and is assaulted outside the shop; Simon Templar intervenes in classic cheeky fashion.
  • Key comic banter:

    • “Don’t be an ass, Henry. I was just passing by when I saw a bloke in the distance whacking you over the beam with a piece of lead pipe.” – Simon Templar (07:10)

3. Discovery: The Tea Package with a Secret

• [08:24–09:30]
  • Simon brings the package home to Patricia Holm; they discover it is full of thousand-dollar bills instead of tea.
  • They deduce Inspector Fernak’s innocence and suspect a criminal smuggling operation.
  • Memorable exchange:

    • “Miracle tea. What an excellent name for it.” – Simon Templar (08:57)

    • “Maybe he’s taking graft.” – Patricia Holm (09:23)

    • “John Henry? No, he’s so honest, it runs out of his ears.” – Simon Templar (09:30)

4. Investigation at Osbit's Drugstore

• [10:01–13:11]
  • Simon and Patricia return to the drugstore, interacting with suspicious staff while cleverly maneuvering for information.
  • A comedic interlude unfolds as Simon offers outrageous “sales” to shoppers while waiting for the next criminal to show.
  • The duo discovers crucial evidence: the drugstore not only distributes illicit money but also passes messages via “prescriptions” that are actually coded plans.

5. The Mastermind and the Radio Code

• [13:38–18:10]
  • A disturbing “customer” delivers a coded prescription that is exposed as architectural plans.
  • Simon realizes the bigger racket: Miracle Tea radio advertisements include coded signals—testimonials with initials that notify operatives.
  • Key revelation:

    • “The initials of the operatives the big boss wants to get in touch with are given over the radio.” – Simon Templar (17:33)

6. The Sting: Outwitting the Espionage Ring

• [18:19–22:38]
  • Simon tips off Inspector Fernak, orchestrating a sting at the drugstore.
  • Templar confronts the ringleader, Baron UNESCO (a.k.a. Osbit), at his luxurious Park Avenue address, forcing him at gunpoint to broadcast a trap message on air.
  • Baron UNESCO is revealed to be operating under a false identity, running a sophisticated criminal espionage network.
  • Climactic confrontation:

    • “Well, I’m going to leave that to Inspector Fernak. His men are already at your drugstore... And in a few minutes, when your 10 o’clock program goes on the air, there’ll be a whole flock of dyspeptics rolling in to join the tea party.” – Simon Templar (21:57)

7. Wrap-up and Next Week’s Teaser

• [22:38–24:21]
  • Leslie Charteris and the Announcer close out the episode, teasing next week’s adventure: “Saint Overboard.”
  • A snippet of the upcoming high-seas drama is previewed.

Notable Quotes and Moments

• On The Saint’s Role:

  • “After all, the world is full of villains who ought to be jumped on. And I suppose most people would really like to take a share in the jumping. But since most of them aren’t quite so quick on the draw as they’d like to be, they don’t mind letting the Saint do it for them.” – Leslie Charteris (02:50)

• On the Money in the Tea:

  • “Police inspectors don’t carry their worldly wealth around in packets of tea.” – Simon Templar (09:27)

• Lighthearted Banter:

  • “Taxi. Now, be careful of him, driver. He’s very fragile. Sorry I can’t go with you, Henry, but I’m late already. I’ve got a date with someone much more beautiful than you.” – Simon Templar (07:34)

• On Detailing the Code:

  • “It’s so gorgeously simple, I almost missed it.” – Simon Templar (17:33)

• Villain Reveal:

  • “I recognized your voice the instant I heard it, in spite of your false whiskers.” – Simon Templar (21:30)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• [00:00–02:28] – Announcer and author’s introduction to The Saint
• [03:09–04:53] – Police Commissioner rebukes Fernak, launching the plot
• [07:00–07:56] – The Saint rescues Fernak after his attack
• [08:30–09:30] – Patricia and Simon discover money in the Miracle Tea box
• [10:51–13:11] – Return to drugstore and comic investigation
• [14:07–15:00] – Receipt of “prescription,” the coded criminal plan
• [16:55–17:45] – Discovery of radio code linking broadcasts to espionage
• [18:19–19:09] – Simon calls Inspector Fernak to set the trap
• [21:08–21:57] – Simon confronts Baron/Osbit and closes the case
• [22:38–24:21] – Author’s outro and preview of next week

Tone and Style

The episode is a sharp blend of zippy, witty humor and classic detective tension. Simon Templar, with a devil-may-care charm, deftly maneuvers through both comic and dangerous situations. The chemistry between Simon and Patricia Holm adds warm playfulness to the daring plot.

Summary

This episode of The Saint encapsulates the irresistible combination of charm, suspense, and quick-witted detective work that defines the classic detective radio era. With Leslie Charteris’ personal introduction, a brain-teasing plot about radio-coded espionage, and a memorable performance from Dennis Greene, “The Miracle Tea Party” shines as a quintessential old-time radio thriller. For fans of vintage mystery and urbane heroes, this is an hour of radio not to be missed.