The Saint: The Sinister Sneeze 06/11/1950

Summary

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Podcast Summary: The Saint: The Sinister Sneeze (Original Air Date: 06/11/1950)

Episode Overview

In this classic radio detective episode, Simon Templar—known as "The Saint" (voiced by Vincent Price)—is drawn into a mysterious boxing world plot when a seemingly second-rate fighter, Benny the Battler, is positioned as a surprise favorite in a rigged match. When murder intervenes, The Saint must untangle threads of deceit, gambling, and sudden death. This episode’s charm is elevated by rapid-fire wit, a clever mystery, and a colorful supporting cast.

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Key Discussion Points & Plot Progression

1. A Sneezing Introduction – [01:04]

• Peggy, a nervous, pretty woman with a sneeze reflex, meets Simon Templar on a bus. She quickly invites him to meet her boyfriend, Breckenridge, a fight manager who’s in trouble.
  • Memorable Quote:
    • Peggy: "I sneeze enough for two." (01:49)
    • The Saint: "The question is, can two sneeze as cheaply as one?" (01:50)
  • Peggy reveals her odd habit: she only sneezes on buses and can’t help it.

2. The Setup – [03:30]

• At Breckenridge’s apartment, it’s revealed that his "lousy" fighter, Benny the Battler, is somehow the heavy favorite among gamblers for an upcoming bout despite lacking skill.
• Mr. Sweeney, a polite but dangerous gambling boss, is named as a man to fear should things go wrong.
  • Notable Exchange:
    • Simon: "Is he the spot you're on?"
      Breckenridge: "If you see my boy in a ring, then you'll know why I'm disturbed." (04:29)
  • Breckenridge’s concern is for their lives if Benny loses, with Peggy hoping The Saint’s mere presence will serve as protection.

3. The Fight & Mysterious Death – [09:00 – 12:48]

• At the stadium, Benny is expected to lose badly.
• Sudden twist: Benny delivers a feeble punch to "Soldier" Jones, who then collapses and dies. The crowd is stunned.
  • Quote:
    • Louie (driver): "That punch Benny landed couldn’t have cracked a defective eggshell." (11:37)
    • The Saint (blankly): "Benny, and I say this in some blankness of mind, has just won." (11:47)
• Medical examination shows Jones wasn't killed by the punch but by ether—found on Benny's gloves. Suspicion immediately falls on Benny.

4. Suspicions and Blackmail – [14:16+]

• Simon investigates further, eventually visiting Sweeney’s nightclub office, discovering Breckenridge oddly flush with cash.
  • Saint confronts Breckenridge: "You could have smeared that ether over Benny’s gloves." (16:16)
  • Sweeney, who handled Soldier Jones for the fight, appears, exuding dangerous calm.
  • Sweeney: "Let us say, off the record, mind you, that Breckenridge is delicate." (17:49)

5. Murder and Reveal – [19:41 – 24:28]

• The Saint and Louie find Breckenridge dead, staged as a suicide, but Templar quickly deduces it was murder.
  • Saint: "His hand was loose on the gun… there must be a back door to this apartment off the kitchen." (19:59)
  • They deduce someone wanted Breckenridge silenced. Simon tracks the killer back to Sweeney.
• In a showdown at Sweeney’s club:
  • Simon flips the story: The ether, he realizes, came from Soldier Jones's face, not Benny's gloves. Jones's handler (Sweeney) wiped his face with an ether-soaked towel just before the fight. When Benny’s glove touched him, the glove was contaminated after the fact.
  • Crucial insight:
    • The Saint: "Suppose the ether got onto Benny’s gloves from Soldier Jones’s face." (23:56)
    • "First, from a towel used by his handler on him. And you were his handler, Mr. Sweeney." (24:30)

6. The Final Confrontation & Justice – [25:00 – end]

• Sweeney pulls a gun but is quickly disarmed. Peggy, hiding in the closet, emerges ("Who sneezed in time. Saved, too.").
  • Simon Templar: "Now, you better take a look at the closet there. Hello, Peggy. Who sneezed in time. Saved, too." (25:23)
• With Sweeney’s plan unraveled, justice is poised to be served.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• The Saint’s wit:
  • (on Peggy’s sneezing): "Gesundheit." (01:41)
  • (when invited to meet Breckenridge): "I rarely sneeze, though." (01:45)
  • (on the murder’s smell): "What you're smelling is ether. Ether?" (13:34)
• Louie's comic side:
  • "All the little tables covered up with their little white shrouds." (22:19)
  • "I read that in my comic book." (21:03)
• Peggy’s charm:
  • "I sneeze enough for two." (01:49)
  • "You caught my sneeze." (26:22)

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Key Timestamps (MM:SS)

• 01:04 – Peggy meets The Saint and reveals her compulsive sneezing.
• 03:30 – The real issue for Breckenridge emerges: fears of murder tied to a boxing fix.
• 09:00 – Benny’s fight begins. The mood: comic resignation to Benny’s imminent loss.
• 11:33 – Benny, against all prediction, “wins” with a weak punch, and the opponent dies.
• 13:34 – Discovery of ether on Benny’s gloves, shifting the suspicion.
• 15:35 – Breckenridge found counting money at Sweeney’s club—suspicion deepens.
• 19:41 – Breckenridge is found murdered, staged as a suicide.
• 23:56 – Simon reveals how the real killer smeared ether on the victim’s own face, not Benny’s gloves.
• 25:23 – Sweeney is unmasked and subdued; Peggy emerges, sneezing heroically.

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Tone and Style

The episode is infused with screwball banter, noir undertones, and classic radio flair, courtesy of Vincent Price's sardonic yet warm portrayal of Simon Templar. Comic relief from Louie and Peggy balances suspenseful plot twists and danger.

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Conclusion

The Sinister Sneeze is a smartly plotted detective mystery. It highlights the clever deduction style of The Saint, his knack for playful repartee, and the perils that lurk beneath the world of rigged prize-fights. With a conclusion hinging on a single word—"turnabout"—it keeps even veteran mystery fans on their toes right up to the last sneeze.

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For classic radio fans and newcomers alike, this is a quintessential example of The Saint’s blend of humor, intrigue, and sharp dialogue.

Transcript

[Mr. Breckenridge]

Welcome to Choice Classic Radio, where we bring to you the greatest old time radio shows, like us on Facebook. Subscribe to us on YouTube and thank you for [e-mail].

[Announcer]

The Adventures of the Saint. Starring Vincent Price. The Saints. Based on characters created by Leslie Charteris and known to millions from books, magazines and motion pictures, the Robin Hood of modern crime now comes to radio, starring Hollywood's brilliant and talented actor, Vincent Price as.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

The Saints.

[Peggy]

Excuse me, but is this the extra you taken?

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Oh, I don't think so. Of course, it really belongs to the bus company.

[Peggy]

Would you mind if I sat here?

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Does anybody mind When Santa Claus Comes for Christmas?

[Peggy]

What?

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

I meant you're very pretty. Please sit down.

[Peggy]

Oh, thanks, but I sneeze.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Go ahead.

[Peggy]

See?

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Yeah. You're a girl of your word.

[Peggy]

I always. Especially on buses.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Why?

[Peggy]

I don't know. I've been to hundreds of doctors. I don't know either. I once even went to a psychoanalyst.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

That sounds as if it might have been a good idea.

[Peggy]

It wasn't.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Why not?

[Peggy]

After a while, he began to sneeze, too.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Gesundheit.

[Peggy]

Thank you. You're cute.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

I rarely sneeze, though.

[Peggy]

That's all right.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Thanks.

[Peggy]

I sneeze enough for two.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

The question is, can two sneeze as cheaply as one?

[Peggy]

I've been worrying about that.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

You can stop right now.

[Peggy]

I know, because my boyfriend doesn't sneeze much either.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Well, perhaps if he practices.

[Peggy]

His name is Breckenridge. Isn't that silly?

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Especially since he doesn't sneeze.

[Peggy]

My name is Peggy.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Not at all silly.

[Peggy]

And your name?

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Simon. The name of the bus is Genevieve. And the name of the city we're in, Simon.

[Peggy]

What?

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Me or the city?

[Peggy]

You're cuter.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Simon Templar.

[Peggy]

Oh, you're the saint.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

There's a totally unfounded rumor to that effect.

[Peggy]

But from what I've heard, you're no saint at all. I'm scared.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

We're on a bus.

[Peggy]

I'm still scared.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Well, what can happen on a bus except for us?

[Peggy]

That I didn't mean. I was scared of you. Please get off the bus with me so that we can go see Breckenridge.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Why?

[Peggy]

He's scared, too.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Peggy, please take my word for it. He's got nothing to be scared about.

[Peggy]

Oh, I didn't mean scared of you.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

I meant.

[Peggy]

Well, Breckenridge is a prize fighter. Manager, Simon. And he's scared.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Why?

[Peggy]

His prize fighter's called Benny the Battler.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Oh, and Breckenridge is afraid Of Benny the Battler?

[Peggy]

No, nobody's afraid of Benny. Not even other prize fighters. Oh, we get off here. Nan. Nan, please let us out.

[Mr. Breckenridge]

Okay, lady.

[Peggy]

Thank you very much.

[Louie]

You're real welcome.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

And now, Peggy, what is Breckenridge afraid of? Murder.

[Peggy]

Breckenridge lives in a very nice building, don't you think? Did you notice all the palms in the lobby?

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Yes. Breckenridge must love nature.

[Peggy]

Oh, he does.

[Mr. Breckenridge]

Mr. Breckenridge has just left town for the Upper Amazon.

[Peggy]

Breckenridge? What do you think?

[Mr. Breckenridge]

Oh, I thought maybe it was a bill collector. Wait a minute. Who's he?

[Peggy]

This is the Saint Brackenridge.

[Mr. Breckenridge]

I don't need one today.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Goodbye, Brackenridge.

[Peggy]

We're coming in. Breckenridge has a very fine sense of humor, Simon.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

I noticed that.

[Mr. Breckenridge]

You want to make something out of it?

[Peggy]

Breckenridge, behave yourself. Simon's going to help us.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Yeah, yeah.

[Peggy]

Now, if you want help, speak real polite to him.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Yes.

[Mr. Breckenridge]

Well, I don't mind telling you, mister, I'm on a spot.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Why don't you stop that? I can't help it. Can't help it.

[Mr. Breckenridge]

Anyway, Saint, I got a boy. Benny the Battler.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

I see.

[Mr. Breckenridge]

Benny the Battler. One of the lousiest middleweights that ever fouled up a prize ring.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

I think I may have seen him fight once in Newark. If I remember correctly, he lost.

[Mr. Breckenridge]

That was Benny.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Is he the spot? You're on?

[Mr. Breckenridge]

In a kind of a way. If you see my boy in a ring, then you'll know why I'm disturbed.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

You're worrying about his health.

[Mr. Breckenridge]

No, he's healthier than a horse. But there's something else, Saint. All the big gamblers in town are putting all their dough on Benny for tonight's fight at the stadium.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Perhaps they think he's going to win.

[Mr. Breckenridge]

This is the lad. Not even a moron could think that.

[Peggy]

Well, I don't know. I think Benny might win.

[Mr. Breckenridge]

So you ain't even a moron. Think. My boy is tangling with Soldier Jones, a very fine box fighter. It would be an act of condescension on a soldier's part even to let Benny tie his gloves for him, let alone fight him. So why is all the heavy dough riding on Benny?

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

It does seem odd.

[Mr. Breckenridge]

Matter of fact, I'm betting on a soldier myself.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Is that ethical? It's practical. Oh.

[Mr. Breckenridge]

Otherwise me and Benny wouldn't eat.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

They are two fellows who like to eat quiet, Peggy.

[Mr. Breckenridge]

Anyways, that worries me. These gamblers all betting on my boy. Also the guy who was the boss of this gambling outfit I have mainly got in mind is a guy named Mr. Sweeney.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Mr. Sweeney.

[Mr. Breckenridge]

Mr. Sweeney is a nice, quiet guy who don't look like he'd harm a fly. So? So he wouldn't harm no fly. But when it comes to guys who he is under the impression they have handed him a bad deal, then he is murder. Now, supposing Benny the Battlet don't win tonight?

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Well, Sweeney could hardly blame you if Benny lost the fight legitimately.

[Mr. Breckenridge]

Mr. Sweeney ain't the type guy who is interested in what is legitimate. He likes to win bets. So I am on the spot.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

I can see that.

[Mr. Breckenridge]

Anybody who ain't blind can see that. But what can you do about it?

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Well, I.

[Peggy]

This was my idea. Breckenridge, I mean, asking Simon to come here. Because if Simon showed he was kind of interested in. In your health. Breckenridge. Then maybe Mrs. Squeeny would be afraid to do anything to you. Even if Benny loses tonight. You see, Simon.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Well, I don't know what good my interest in Breckenridge's health would do him. I'm not a doctor.

[Peggy]

Simon. If Mr. Sweeney gets really mad at Breckenridge and Benny, they wouldn't need any doctors. They'd be patronizing the same undertaker.

[Mr. Breckenridge]

Bite your tongue.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

But you think that Sweeney might hesitate about doing anything drastic merely because I knew about it?

[Peggy]

I don't know, but it's possible. And what have we got to lose?

[Mr. Breckenridge]

My life.

[Peggy]

Don't be so selfish. Think of Benny too.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

All right.

[Mr. Breckenridge]

My and Benny's life.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Well, I'll do what I can. Which amounts to what?

[Peggy]

Breckenridge. Give Simon some tickets to the fight tonight.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Okay? Oh, thank you, but. But I'm not sure I'll be any protection.

[Peggy]

Don't worry about that.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Sure, sure, I'll do the worrying.

[Peggy]

And maybe it won't do any good. But even if it doesn't, I want you to know that even if Breckinridge does get murdered.

[Louie]

Don't say things like that.

[Peggy]

He'll still appreciate it. Simon to his.

[Louie]

Taxi.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

A taxi. For a moment I thought you were going right past me.

[Louie]

For a moment I felt like going right back. Lou, never mind getting friendly. Just get in.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Thank you.

[Louie]

Benedict Arnold.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

I beg your pardon?

[Louie]

Well known traitors of history. Benedict Arnold.

[Mr. Breckenridge]

You.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

I'm not sure I know what you're talking about.

[Louie]

This afternoon around three o', clock, what were you doing?

[Mr. Breckenridge]

Three?

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Why, I was riding on a. Yeah, don't stop there.

[Louie]

You was riding on a what?

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

A bus. Yeah.

[Louie]

What's the matter?

[Mr. Breckenridge]

Somebody suddenly dropped dead?

[Louie]

Left your stock in a bus company?

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

No.

[Louie]

Then what's the idea riding a bus? That a hell in a cab, huh?

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Well, if I'd taken a cab, I wouldn't have met Peggy. Fine reason she was following me, Louie. I made it easier for her by getting on a bus. They're so much roomier than cabs.

[Louie]

All right, I forgive you.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Thank you, Louie.

[Mr. Breckenridge]

Perfectly all right.

[Louie]

Where do you want to go?

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

The stadium.

[Louie]

You call that a place to take a girl?

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

I'm not taking a girl there. I'm going to see the fight. Which reminds me, Louie, I've got an extra ticket. Would you like to join me?

[Louie]

Who's fighting?

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Well, the main event is Soldier Jones versus Benny the Battler.

[Louie]

That you call a fight. Benny's gonna get murdered.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Not Benny Breckenridge, huh? It might be fun. Louie, come on with me.

[Louie]

Oh, listen, a fight like that you could smell from New Jersey, but all right.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Ah, thanks, Louis.

[Louie]

Don't mention it. And in the future, stay off of buses.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Yes, Mother. Benny's dressing room must be up ahead.

[Louie]

What are we going to do? Sympathize with him before he goes in the ring, gets slaughtered.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Just Wish him luck, Mr. Templar.

[Louie]

He'll need it.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

That's Peggy, huh? Hey, wait a minute, Louie. The door's open.

[Mr. Breckenridge]

Benny. Dopey, you dope. We got all our dough riding on Soldier Jones.

[Louie]

Breckenridge, I've been thinking.

[Mr. Breckenridge]

With what?

[Louie]

What's going to happen to my career if I keep on getting laid in the Rising all the time?

[Mr. Breckenridge]

You can always go back to your truck.

[Louie]

Besides, the soldier has been making derogatory remarks, you see.

[Mr. Breckenridge]

For kind of. Derogatory remarks about you. Personal or professional?

[Louie]

Derogatory remarks about I stink. So when I get in that ring tonight, I am going to bat his ears off.

[Mr. Breckenridge]

Benny, listen to me. First, if you hit him, he is liable to get mad at you and maybe kill you. Second, if they should happen to pass a miracle and you should lay him away, we all lose our dough. Benny, we gotta die for him.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

I don't die for that bum.

[Mr. Breckenridge]

Benny, don't answer me too quick. Think you know what's happening to the price of fresh meat? Come on, kid. Sounds like the prelim's over.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Let's go, Louie. No time to visit now. We better get to our seat.

[Louie]

The less I see you, Benny, the battle, the happier I'll stay.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

He's in quite a spot, though. Unless Soldier Jones kills him inside the ring, Sweeney is likely to kill him Outside.

[Louie]

Well, here it goes. Yeah, we got nice seats. Yeah, Anybody bleeds the ring, we got dry cleaning suit.

[Peggy]

Hey, they're off.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

You're thinking of a horse ring.

[Louie]

Looking at Benny the Battler, how wrong am I? He runs nice.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Yes, he does seem to have got on a bicycle.

[Louie]

Yeah, but how long can he stay on a bicycle without falling off on his ear? This is the fourth round and Benny's still on that bicycle. The crowd doesn't like it much. You must be under the impression the best way to box fight is to run away.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

For him, it's probably the saf. The soldier's catching up with him. Benny's wind is failing.

[Louie]

Oh, the soldier just donated a very pretty left of Benny's bread bat.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Yeah. Oh, and a right. Oh, and another right.

[Louie]

Oh, Benny. The battle of Mr. Templar is practical.

[Mr. Breckenridge]

Out on his flat feet, the bell.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Sure saved him that time.

[Louie]

Didn't save him. Merely postponed the execution. Fifth round. And I got an idea Benny ain't going to be around for the sixth.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Yeah, Benny seems to be looking for the nearest policeman. He's sort of wandering around.

[Louie]

The soldier is sl.

[Peggy]

Hey.

[Louie]

I don't believe it. Benny just threw a punch at the soldier.

[Peggy]

Hit him, too.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Yeah, but hey, the soldier's just falling down.

[Louie]

Oh, this has an aroma. Mr. Pe. That punch Benny landed couldn't have cracked a defective eggshell.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Benny and I say this in some blankness, of mind, has just one.

[Louie]

Yeah, with the best invisible punch I ever seen.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Must have been quite a punch. Soldier hasn't moved yet. They're working over him in the ring. Come on. I. I think we'd better visit him.

[Louie]

Where are we going?

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Into the ring. Up we go. Okay.

[Mr. Breckenridge]

Hey, Saint, did you see what I just seen?

[Louie]

I beg your pardon?

[Mr. Breckenridge]

Reckoning my boy knocking out the soldier. I seen it myself, but I don't believe it yet.

[Mr. Sweeney]

Hey.

[Louie]

Hey, I knocked him out. Maybe I could box fight for real. Hey, with one punch, I lay him right on the canvas. He ain't even got up yet.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

I think I want to take a look at him. His handler's still working over him.

[Louie]

Very horizontal.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Yes, Louie. Furthermore, I suspect he needs a doctor. A doctor?

[Louie]

You got a yen for medical attention or something?

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Correction. What he needs right now is a death certificate.

[Louie]

Very pretty mob seen back there in that ring.

[Mr. Breckenridge]

Soldier Jones dead, a doctor working on him.

[Louie]

Cops all around.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Yeah.

[Louie]

Only thing I don't get it, I'm.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Afraid I did the odor when I bent over the soldier.

[Mr. Breckenridge]

Oh, come on in, fellas.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Hello, Peggy.

[Peggy]

Hello, Simon. Isn't there anything wonderful or. Well, maybe it isn't so wonderful the way you look.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

The soldier's dead.

[Louie]

You mean in a cut if I knocked him off.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

No, he didn't die as a result of a blow. Benny.

[Mr. Breckenridge]

What did he die of, Old H.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Where are Benny's gloves? The ones he wore in the ring? Over here.

[Louie]

Over here where I put them.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Oh, thanks. What's up?

[Mr. Breckenridge]

What's the matter, Saint? Something smells funny to you?

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Come here. Take a sniff of those gloves. Not too deep a sniff. Okay? I know.

[Mr. Breckenridge]

I don't smell nothing. Maybe like a hospital.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Like a hospital is very good. What you're smelling is ether. Ether?

[Mr. Breckenridge]

Hey, wait a minute. Do you mean there was ether on Benny's gloves?

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

The blow which apparently knocked the soldier out was a feeble one. Barely grazed the soldier's mouth and nose. Therefore, what knocked him down wasn't the blow, but the ether he inhaled. Hey, are you trying to say I.

[Louie]

Put ether on my gloves so I'd knock the soldier out?

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

I'm not, for the moment, saying anything about how the ether got there, Benny. What I am saying is that Soldier Jones got a strong dose of ether into him. Add that to the fact that he was strenuously exerting himself that his heart was under a strain, and your total is simple. He died of ether. There's ether on your gloves, Benny.

[Louie]

Hey, Mr. Breckenham.

[Mr. Breckenridge]

Don't say nothing, Benny. Keep your mouth shut, you hear?

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Even to the police.

[Louie]

Poor Benny. He looked so sad when the cops put the arm on him.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

If they can make their case stick, he'll look sadder still.

[Louie]

Breckenridge didn't look so happy neither.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

It's not hard to understand one way or another.

[Louie]

And that babe, Peggy, she was sneezing like a locomotive with a hiccup.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

It saved her from answering questions.

[Louie]

Yeah, all of which doesn't add up to the strange fact that you've instructed me to drive you to the Happy Hours nightclub.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

It happens to belong to a man named Mr. Sweeney Louie. The head of the gambling syndicate which bet on Benny in tonight's fight.

[Louie]

Oh, Mr. Sweeney ought to be a very happy man.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

We're not going to watch him rejoice.

[Louie]

What are we going to watch him do?

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Pay off, perhaps?

[Louie]

I have been in Classia Dumps without even leaving my house.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

The club here is a front for Sweeney's real business, I imagine. Let's see. The man at the door told us his office was behind the bandstand. Come on. Well, Breckenridge.

[Mr. Breckenridge]

Oh, hi, Saint.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Well. Well, Breckinridge counting money in large and luscious quantities. And in Sweeney's office.

[Mr. Breckenridge]

Well, this here.

[Louie]

You mean it?

[Mr. Breckenridge]

It's nothing.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

It's a lot of nothing. I thought you were afraid of Sweeney.

[Mr. Breckenridge]

Why should I be afraid of him? Betty won.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Then he may have won a non stop trip to the chair. Sweeney give you that money?

[Mr. Breckenridge]

That is a private affair.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

See, the police have no respect for privacy on occasion. Breckenridge, if you had bet on Soldier Jones as you claimed you did, you'd have lost. You wouldn't have acquired any money or suspicion of murder.

[Mr. Breckenridge]

Hey, don't try that.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Suppose you didn't really bet on Jones to win. That would make you quite a likely candidate for the wired chair.

[Mr. Breckenridge]

Are you insinuating.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Not at all. I'm saying it as bluntly as I can. You could have smeared that ether over Benny's gloves.

[Mr. Breckenridge]

Did Benny say that?

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

No. It's possible he didn't realize it either.

[Mr. Breckenridge]

I ain't a killer.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Put the ether on Benny's gloves. Wasn't necessarily intending to kill him. Ether isn't always fatal. But the circumstances made it so. It was a little too much either, for one thing. For another, somebody failed to allow for the effect of strenuous action on the soldier's heart.

[Mr. Breckenridge]

Look, Saint, you're. You're just raising the breeze. I'm in the clear.

[Louie]

Yeah.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Would you like to try saying that again and making it sound convincing?

[Mr. Breckenridge]

I don't have to take anything from you.

[Louie]

Understand?

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

You don't have to shout either. What are you trying to hide? Guilt? Fear?

[Mr. Breckenridge]

I'm getting out. Can I be of any help?

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Hello.

[Mr. Breckenridge]

Mr. Sweeney.

[Mr. Sweeney]

We've already met.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Newsom, A Templar.

[Louie]

Oh, I'm Louie.

[Mr. Sweeney]

Delighted to meet you both. You were saying, Breckenridge?

[Mr. Breckenridge]

I was saying I'm getting out of here and quick.

[Mr. Sweeney]

Poor fellow's terribly upset or frightened whatever.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Of? I wouldn't know. You were out at the fight tonight. So I was. You were one of the soldier's handlers.

[Mr. Sweeney]

True. I find it amusing to act in that capacity from time to time.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Did you get any laughs tonight?

[Mr. Sweeney]

No, I'm afraid not. Ah, poor soldier.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Also, it's lucky you didn't bet on him, isn't it?

[Mr. Sweeney]

What makes you think I didn't?

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

A little bird told me. Little birds are so delicate.

[Mr. Sweeney]

They really should be more careful.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

I'll be sure to tell them that the next time we meet. How does it happen that you bet on Benny?

[Mr. Sweeney]

Let's call it whimsy, shall we?

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Benny didn't belong in the same ring with your men.

[Mr. Sweeney]

That made the odds interesting.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

It would also have put Breckenridge on the spot if Benny had lost.

[Mr. Sweeney]

Benny didn't lose.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Breckenridge therefore delivered.

[Mr. Sweeney]

Let us say, off the record, mind you, that Breckenridge is delicate.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Yeah. Come along, Willy.

[Mr. Sweeney]

Must you rush away?

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

I don't care for the atmosphere around here, Mr. Sweeney.

[Mr. Sweeney]

What's the matter with it?

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Like the ether on Vinny's gloves, Mr. Sweeney, it overpowering.

[Louie]

Mr. Templar, I know you're making like a detective, but is visiting Peggy really necessary?

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

I just assumed. Not answer that. Bashful, huh? A small house.

[Louie]

Hey, she must live alone.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Get the snark out of your voice, Louie.

[Louie]

Either I'm nuts or you are.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

And you vote for me, huh? Well, you see, Louis, Peggy may know something.

[Mr. Breckenridge]

Oh, sure. Only what about.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

We better change the subject or ring the doorbell again. No answer. Come on.

[Louie]

Disappointed?

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Oh, I don't know. We may still find it tonight.

[Louie]

Where?

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Breckinridge's apartment. Possibly helping him count his money.

[Louie]

Yeah, Breckenridge ain't answering doorbells tonight neither.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Oh, come now, Lou. Give the lad a chance to hide the money.

[Louie]

Yeah, unless he took it on the lamp.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Where on earth did you pick up that expression?

[Louie]

The radio.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Oh, that doesn't seem to work. We'll try another apartment. Get into the building anyway. Thank you. Somebody. The apartment is down the corridor here. Yeah, that's convenient.

[Louie]

I hate climbing stairs, making forced conversations.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

I've been shot. Nonsense.

[Louie]

I've been shot.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Inside the apartment. Come on. The door's open.

[Louie]

It's a gentleman behind that desk.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Breckenridge. Not very pretty at the moment. That bullet did a job. Shot in the temple, revolver in his right hand.

[Louie]

Suicide?

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

That's what it's supposed to be. His hand loose on the gun.

[Mr. Breckenridge]

Ain't that the way it always is?

[Louie]

After all, the guy is dead.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Yeah, but nine times out of ten, there's a spasmodic reaction at the moment of death. The hand grips the gun more tightly instead of loosening. Which means there must be a back door to this apartment off the kitchen. Problem? Yep, there it is.

[Louie]

Which explains that the guy's gun ain't gripping the gun tight. So there has to be a back door to the apart, though. The architects ought to hear about this.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

The murderer had to get out before we got in. And the murderer was here a moment ago.

[Louie]

I don't get it.

[Mr. Sweeney]

What?

[Louie]

Why did he bother making it look like a suicide?

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Look, Louie, we were supposed to think Breckenridge had been responsible for the soldier's death became conscience stricken because he had an intent to kill the soldier and shot himself. But his hand was loose on the gun. It's just logic. All right.

[Louie]

So logic and you went to school together?

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Breckinridge was a crook also. I suspect a black man of it. Just a thing.

[Louie]

It almost serves him right. Like I always say, thine about is hoist with his own petard. Hey, what is a petard?

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

A petard is a derrick. Yeah, you've got the proverb all wrong, but you've solved the case.

[Louie]

Well, for a dope, I ain't do it.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

I have. Yeah, yeah, you said Turner.

[Louie]

Well, I read that in my comic book.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

And that tells us who murdered soldier Jones and Breckenridge.

[Louie]

Oh, speak for yourself, John. Maybe it tells you, but.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Come on, come on.

[Louie]

But if I know my mysteries, you're not going to tell me.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Not for another five minutes.

[Louie]

I know the five minutes ain't up yet, Mr. Templer, but maybe you could sneak in a little explanation now. Maybe save some time later.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Well, Louis, the problem all along has been who put the ether on Denny's glove? Benny Breckenridge, Peggy. But then you said turnabout, and I knew who had really put the ether there.

[Louie]

Well, never mind the dramatic pauses. Just keep going.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

The person who put the ether on Benny's glove is the cork.

[Louie]

Yeah, I should have known. For a minute back there, I thought maybe I was gonna find out something. But I didn't have to worry. Happy Hours Nightclub. But why are we here? They don't keep corpses.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Probably not.

[Louie]

Besides, who can arrest the corpse?

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Oh, but you see, the. The corpse wasn't guilty.

[Louie]

I'm going home and beat my kids. Maybe that way I'll stop feeling inferior.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Look at the joint is deserted.

[Louie]

All the little tables covered up with their little white shrouds.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Why don't I shut up? Look, there's a light showing Sweeney's office. Yeah. I wonder, should we not. Should we go home? We'll knock.

[Mr. Sweeney]

Come in. Come in.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

He sounds quite friendly.

[Mr. Sweeney]

Well, Mr. Templar, good evening. I've just been having a friendly game of cards with my alibi, my friends.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

I'd like to see you alone, Mr. Sweeney.

[Mr. Sweeney]

Very well. Game had begun to bore me anyway. Boys, get going.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

You've been playing cards all evening with them, I hope.

[Mr. Sweeney]

Perhaps you consider it a waste of time.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

I don't. They testify to your having been here all evening, huh?

[Mr. Sweeney]

If called upon, they could do nothing less. But why should they be called upon.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

To furnish you with an Alibi for what? Breckinridge's murder.

[Mr. Breckenridge]

Nonsense.

[Mr. Sweeney]

He committed suicide.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

How did you know?

[Mr. Sweeney]

A little bird told me. The same one who told you about my betting on Benny?

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

I'm afraid not. Breckenridge was the little bird who told me about that. He forgot to tell me about the murder, though.

[Mr. Sweeney]

Breckenridge committed suicide.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

I'm not talking about Breckenridge's death. I'm talking about soldier Jones.

[Mr. Sweeney]

Oh, Mr. Templer, I will readily admit I earned a considerable sum by his unfortunate demise. But the ether was on Benny's gloves, if you remember. And I was never near those gloves.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

True.

[Mr. Sweeney]

Well, then.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Nevertheless, you are going to die for Jones's death.

[Mr. Sweeney]

You know, you're becoming unpleasant. However, you've just admitted I couldn't have tampered with Benny's gloves.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

I have. But may I mention one word to you? A turnabout.

[Mr. Sweeney]

All right, you've mentioned it.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

You should be more interested because it led me to realize something. Soldier Jones died because there was ether smeared all over his mouth and nose. We've all been assuming that the ether got there from Benny's glove. How true. Remember the word turnabout, Mr. Sweeney. Suppose the ether got onto Benny's gloves from Soldier Jones's face.

[Mr. Sweeney]

I think the hour is late.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Very late for you. Because the ether was on the soldier's face first. When Benny hit the soldier, he got the ether on his gloves. But it was the soldier's face that smeared ether on Benny's gloves, not vice versa.

[Mr. Sweeney]

But how would the soldier get ether on his face?

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

First, from a towel used by his handler on him. And you were his handler, Mr. Sweeney. Just as he started into the ring, you wiped his face and deposited the ether on his nose. His momentum carried him into the center of the ring. Then he took a poke at him. And how was that?

[Mr. Sweeney]

It was.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Yeah. Breckenridge realized what you'd done. That's why you paid him off after the fight. But you knew that he'd blackmailed you for the rest of your unpleasant life, so you murdered him. That's your guess.

[Mr. Sweeney]

And you can't prove. I got Soldier Jones.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

I've got the towel.

[Mr. Sweeney]

You're lying. I burned it.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Louie will make a nice witness. Let's go chat to policemen about all this.

[Mr. Sweeney]

No.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Hey, wait a minute. You're pointing, which isn't polite with a gun which isn't safe.

[Louie]

Yeah.

[Mr. Sweeney]

Very little to lose and a lot to gain by killing both of you.

[Louie]

Now, wait a minute. Let's talk this over like civilized gents.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

I'm sorry.

[Mr. Sweeney]

I can't oblige.

[Louie]

Therefore.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

What? You shouldn't have turned your head. You better get his gun, Louis.

[Louie]

Certainly a pleasure.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Now, you better take a look at the closet there. Hello, Peggy. Who sneezed in time. Saved, too. Anyway, what were you doing in that closet? I was.

[Mr. Breckenridge]

I.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

And so, Peggy.

[Peggy]

So I hid in the closet so maybe I could overhear a clue.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

I was very brave of you, Peggy.

[Peggy]

Well, I thought I kind of owed it to Breckenridge.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Did you love him very much?

[Peggy]

No. But he was a very friendly fellow. You look friendly too, Simon. Also cute. And you did catch Mrs. Sweeney. So I think I'm going to kiss you.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Louie is peeking.

[Peggy]

Who cares.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Peggy, you haven't sneezed.

[Peggy]

At a time like this, who wants to sneeze?

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Right you are, Simon.

[Peggy]

You caught my sneeze.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Did, didn't I? However, as Louis mentioned earlier, I am hoist by your petard.

[Announcer]

You have been listening to another adventure of the Saint. The Robin Hood of modern crime. And now, here is our star, Vincent Price.

[Simon Templar (The Saint)]

Ladies and gentlemen, our cast tonight included Sandra Gould, Larry Dobkin, Hal March, Peter Leeds and Barney Phillips. This is Vincent Price inviting you to join us again next week at this same time for another exciting adventure of the Saint. Good night.

[Announcer]

Tonight's Drift of the Saint was written by Louis Bitters. The music was composed and conducted by Von Dexter. The Saint, based on characters created by Leslie Charteris, is a James L. Sathier production and is directed by Helen Mack. Vincent Price is soon to be seen in the Universal International picture Curtain Call at Cactus Creek. All you Saint fans will be glad to know that the Saint comic books are on sale at all newsstands. Your announcer, Doug Gourlay. Next, sam spade. Then summer symphony on NBC.