Podcast Summary: "This Is Your FBI: The Sorrowful Swindler" (Original Air Date: 12/21/1945)

Podcast: Choice Classic Radio Detectives | Old Time Radio
Episode: The Sorrowful Swindler
Release Date: November 9, 2025 (rebroadcast)
Duration: ~31 minutes (excluding ads and outro)

Main Theme

This episode of This Is Your FBI, titled "The Sorrowful Swindler," blends holiday reflections with a riveting tale of deception. Set around the first postwar Christmas season, it tracks a notorious con man, "Colonel" Josiah Weatherford, as he attempts a securities swindle—only to find himself outwitted by a veteran grifter known as Larceny Annie. The episode underscores the FBI's vigilance, even during times of goodwill, and explores the ironic justice often meted out to criminals.

Key Discussion Points & Story Breakdown

Setting the Scene and Tone

• Holiday Context: The story opens with a warm seasonal greeting, linking the Equitable Society (the program sponsor) and Christmas security (03:24).
• Moral Framing: The episode positions crime as the opposite of the Christmas spirit—crime as “the religion of taking” in contrast to “the religion of giving” (03:24–04:04).

The Swindler on the Train

• Characters Introduced:
  • Colonel Josiah Weatherford: Master con artist, accompanied by his sidekick Michael (04:34).
  • Mrs. Greeley: Appears to be a vulnerable, elderly lady with questionable stock certificates (05:28).
• Initial Scheme: Weatherford, fleeing Chicago after a bad check, seeks to put distance between himself and the police while regaling Michael with plans for sharing stolen funds with his partner, Valerie (04:48–05:21).

Notable Quote

“Valerie has demanded a mink coat of Santa Claus. And Valerie, my dear Michael, knows who Santa Claus is.”
— Colonel Weatherford (05:13)

• Opportunity on the Rails: Mrs. Greeley seeks Weatherford’s 'expertise' regarding stock certificates. Weatherford immediately sees a potential swindle (07:41–09:47).

Notable Quote

“Santa Claus is not merely knocking at our door, Michael. He's trying to break in with a pack full of gold.”
— Colonel Weatherford (09:53)

FBI Involvement

• Agent Assignment: Special Agents Barclay and Farrell receive the case as they close in on Weatherford, tracking his movements from Chicago to New York after learning of his alias and recent scam (06:45–07:16, 10:17–10:39).

The Setup: Confidence Games Collide

• Weatherford’s Homecoming: Weatherford hands a wad of cash to Valerie, who is only momentarily appeased and suspects a "hook"; Weatherford offers to invest the $5,000 in “Lodestar Mining” shares (12:11–13:39).
• Double Deception: Valerie remains skeptical, refusing to surrender the money for a speculative stock deal, demanding her promised mink coat instead (13:39–13:46).

Notable Quote

“A mink coat on the back is worth forty in the window. Nothing doing.”
— Valerie (13:39)

The Tables Turn

• Mrs. Greeley’s True Intentions Revealed: Mrs. Greeley, still feigning innocence, agrees to sell her (worthless) shares to Weatherford for $5,000 (15:10–16:15).
• Reversal: She then draws a gun and demands both Weatherford and Valerie into the closet, revealing her identity as Larceny Annie—a seasoned swindler who just conned the conmen (16:33–17:02).

Memorable Moment

“Oh, it merely means that I know as much about Lodestar as you do, you old swindler, and I wish I did have some of the stuff.”
— Larceny Annie/Mrs. Greeley (16:40)

• FBI Observes: Agents realize the "little old lady" is actually Larceny Annie, altering their investigation from protecting a victim to apprehending all parties involved (22:12–22:34).

Chase and Arrest

• Money on the Move: Weatherford and partner Michael attempt to recover their lost $5,000, trailing Annie to a brownstone—but they’re being tracked by the FBI (24:05–26:31).
• Finale: At Annie’s supposed safe house, the FBI springs the trap, arresting all con artists involved (26:32–27:09).

Notable Exchange

“What she means, Weatherford, is that you’re all under arrest.”
— Special Agent (26:57)

“Not willingly, Colonel. But as you know, this is the Christmas season, and it’s full of surprises for everyone.”
— Larceny Annie (27:12)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Holiday Message & Introduction: 03:24–04:04
• Train Journey & Weatherford’s Plot: 04:27–09:53
• FBI Begins Investigation: 06:45–07:16; 10:17–10:39
• Weatherford and Valerie’s Confrontation: 12:11–13:46
• Mrs. Greeley’s Con (Larceny Annie): 15:30–17:02
• Locked in the Closet/Comic Recriminations: 20:41–21:45
• FBI Identifies Larceny Annie: 22:12–22:34
• Climax: Arrest at the Brownstone: 26:31–27:12

Tone and Style

Rich in period detail and hard-boiled banter, the episode mixes suspense, wit, and moralizing. The moral undercurrent—“crime never takes a holiday, nor does your FBI”—is ever-present, delivered with an authority and folksy charm characteristic of postwar radio dramas. The interplay between conman and conwoman injects a sharp comedic edge, while the FBI agents remain understated and methodical.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “His profession of cheating, as demonstrated in tonight’s case…” — Analyst (04:05)
• The swindler’s lament in the closet: “Oh, for heaven’s sake, Valerie, shut up. Come on, let’s get out of here quickly.” — Weatherford (21:28)
• “It’s the mink or the clink.” — Valerie, threatening Weatherford with police unless she gets her coat (21:45)
• Larceny Annie’s reveal: “I know as much about Lodestar as you do, you old swindler.” (16:40)
• FBI’s final reflection: “No one is so easily swindled as a swindler…” (20:01)

Conclusion

"The Sorrowful Swindler" is a tongue-in-cheek holiday crime caper, illustrating poetic justice as career con artists outmaneuver each other—only to be undone by their own greed and the unwavering attention of the law. With snappy repartee, a surprise double-cross, and the steady hand of the FBI, the episode remains a classic example of the golden age of radio detectives.