Yours Truly, Johnny Dollar: The Alvin's Alfred Matter 02/21/1960

Summary

Podcast Summary

Podcast: Choice Classic Radio Detectives | Old Time Radio
Episode: Yours Truly, Johnny Dollar: The Alvin's Alfred Matter (02/21/1960)
Date: May 11, 2026
Host: Choice Classic Radio

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Episode Overview

This episode revisits “The Alvin’s Alfred Matter,” a classic case featuring America’s favorite freelance insurance investigator, Johnny Dollar. Johnny is pulled into a bizarre insurance mystery involving an eccentric millionaire, a missing insured “ward,” and plenty of trademark wit. The story explores themes of sentimentality, eccentricity, and the power of simple joys, all wrapped in a humorous detective plot.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Unusual Case Assignment

• Johnny’s Relationship with Cartwright
  • Johnny Dollar is contacted by George Reid of Floyd’s of England insurance, who is now plagued with trouble after taking on the wealthy (and eccentric) Alvin Peabody Cartwright as a client.
  • Cartwright’s insurance policies are both elaborate and puzzling—as Johnny puts it, “the fantastic problems that man comes up with. Why, it's enough to drive you off your Rocker.” (01:54)
  • Cartwright’s affection for Johnny (and Johnny’s mixed feelings in return) add humor and a sense of reluctant camaraderie.

2. The Insurance Puzzle: Who (or What) is Alfred?

• Policy Details
  • Reid stresses the unique nature of the insurance: “Not only covers her life, but accident, injury, mysterious disappearance, just about anything you can think of.” (07:01)
  • Confusion ensues as Johnny tries to determine who Alfred actually is: a man, a woman, a relative? Turns out, “Alfred happens to be a dog.” (08:14)
  • The insurance includes full coverage on Cartwright’s beloved pet—revealing both Cartwright’s sentimentality and the company’s desperation to keep his lucrative account.

3. Visiting the Client: Cartwright’s Sentimental World

• Playroom Tour
  • Johnny visits Cartwright’s lavish home and is shown Alfred’s “room,” which is more elaborate than most children’s play spaces, including science toys and a real—yes, real—seismograph.
  • Cartwright confides that many of the toys were bought to fulfill his own childhood longings:

    “When I was a child, the only toys I had were the ones my poor mother could make with her own hands...So maybe I'm just a silly old man, second childhood, that sort of thing. But I said I'd have them, and now I have.” (15:10)

  • This passage is both touching and comic, highlighting the human need for play and comfort.

4. The Dognapping Investigation

• Prime Suspect: Clarence the Day Servant

  • Cartwright accuses his recently fired servant, Clarence Brixton, who still had a key to the house.
  • Brixton’s alibi seems airtight, backed by his wife. Cartwright is exasperated, Johnny determined to break the alibi.

• Clever Detection: Science Saves the Day

  • Johnny focuses on one of Cartwright’s “toys”—a working seismograph—to prove that someone was in the house:

    “You see, Clarence, every clumsy footstep of yours registered in black and white for some five or six minutes during a period between 7 and 8 o'clock.” (23:04)

  • This moment is classic Johnny Dollar: blending humor, intuition, and a touch of the absurd as scientific evidence cracks the case.

5. Resolution

• Confession and Return
  • Clarence and his wife confess: Clarence took the dog in hopes returning her would make Cartwright re-hire him.
  • With the case solved and Alfred safe, Johnny notes the peculiar satisfaction—and payoff—these oddball cases bring.
  • George Reid is relieved, Johnny Dollar earns a hefty reward, and Cartwright may even forgive and rehire the hapless Clarence.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Cartwright’s Impact:

  “Brother, the fantastic problems that man comes up with. Why, it's enough to drive you off your Rocker.” —Johnny Dollar (01:54)

• On Sentimentality and Toys:

  “So maybe I'm just a silly old man, second childhood, that sort of thing. But I said I'd have them, and now I have.” —Alvin Peabody Cartwright (15:10)

  “That's the trouble with growing up. People get so proud or stuffy or something... They won't let their hair down. Enjoy some of the simple little things that they'd really like to do.” —Alvin Peabody Cartwright (16:20)

• The Seismograph Reveal:

  “You see, Clarence, every clumsy footstep of yours registered in black and white for some five or six minutes during a period between 7 and 8 o'clock.” —Johnny Dollar (23:04)

• On Cartwright Naming His Female Dog ‘Alfred’:

  “To be honest about it, Johnny, I’d really hoped for a boy. Yes.” —Alvin Peabody Cartwright (17:25)

• Johnny’s Reluctant Heroics:

  “If the word ever got out that Johnny Dollar was chasing around the countryside looking for a dog napper…” —Johnny Dollar (11:37)

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Important Timestamps

• 01:54 – Johnny describes the headaches of dealing with eccentric clients like Cartwright.
• 07:14–08:16 – Alfred revealed as Cartwright’s insured dog, not a person.
• 12:32 – Johnny visits Cartwright’s home, begins emotional victim interview.
• 13:25 – Tour of Alfred’s playroom; reveal of Cartwright’s childhood motivations.
• 16:20–16:44 – Reflection on adulthood, pride, and happiness.
• 17:38 – Cartwright identifies Clarence as the dognapper.
• 23:04 – Johnny uses seismograph evidence to solve the case.
• 24:32 – Wrap-up and lesson on the lengths to which sentimentality can drive both love and trouble.

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Tone & Style

The episode maintains Johnny Dollar’s dry wit, with a comedic counterpoint from the eccentric Cartwright. Themes of nostalgia, human folly, and the absurdity of daily life permeate the case, delivering both laughs and a subtle message about embracing life’s small joys.

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In Summary

“The Alvin’s Alfred Matter” delivers classic radio detective fun with a delightfully absurd premise—an insurance investigator hot on the trail of a missing, extravagantly insured dog. The supporting cast of quirky characters, heartfelt confessions, and surprising use of “scientific” evidence create a memorable episode that is as much about human nature as it is about solving a crime. For both old time radio fans and newcomers, it’s a timeless blend of humor, heart, and whodunit.

Transcript

[Safeway/Albertsons Announcer]

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[Narrator/Johnny Dollar]

Welcome to Choice Classic Radio where we

[Safeway/Albertsons Announcer]

bring to you the greatest old time radio shows like us on Facebook, subscribe

[Mood.com Advertiser]

to us on YouTube and thank you for [e-mail].

[Narrator/Johnny Dollar]

Johnny$. Johnny. Yes, hello, George Reed Floyd's of England. What's the matter, George? You sound a bit down in the mouth. I am. What's up? Well, I. Johnny, I understand you've handled quite a few investigations for the Continental Insurance and Trust Company. Oh, brother, I sure have. And you know something, George? Yes. Floyds of England, you, that is, have handed me some pretty wild ones over the years. I know. But believe me, they've been nothing compared to some of the cases that Continental has handed me. And you know why, George? Why, Johnny? Because of just one client of theirs. Well, he's a wealthy old screwball by the name of Alvin Peabody Cartwright. Yeah, he carries a lot of insurance, millions of it. And any company that has his account is making plenty. Yes, I. Brother, the fantastic problems that man comes up with. Why, it's enough to drive you off your Rocker. I mean, I'm always the goat. Yeah, I handled one crazy investigation for him. Only three or four weeks ago, he told Continental that if they sent somebody else around, he'd leave him flat. Johnny. Actually, I suppose I shouldn't complain. Some of the biggest fees I've ever got have come out of his pocket. And you know something? Yes, Johnny. In spite of all his wackiness and these silly problems he hands me, well, over the years I've really gotten to love the old character. And I mean, aside from those fancy fees I mentioned. Good, good. I think I'd do almost anything within reason. That is, if it were necessary to help out Alvin Peabody Cartwright. Anything? Sure, anything.

[George Reid]

Thank heaven for that.

[Narrator/Johnny Dollar]

But now, you said you have troubles, George. I have. So I'm sorry I chewed your ear off about something. Someone that Floyd's of England doesn't have to worry about. So. Don't we, Johnny? Huh? Well, of course not. Because as long as he keeps his insurance with Continental. Unless, George. Unless what, Johnny? Well, I mean, if he were to change companies for some silly some. Oh, now, wait. Yes, George, I'm still here. Just who is your problem? I'm afraid you've guessed it. Oh, no. Yes, Johnny. Alvin Peabody Cartwright, CBS radio brings you Bob Bailey in the exciting adventures of the man with the action packed expense account, America's fabulous freelance insurance investigator. Yours truly, Johnny Dollar. Pepsi Cola refreshes without filling. Why? Because it's truly light.

[Mrs. Brixton]

Charlie, you're forgetting something.

[Narrator/Johnny Dollar]

Wait, Kay, there's more. Yes. Ice cold Pepsi is the delicious refreshment that goes great at a picnic or a party. And Pepsi goes fast. People like it, so keep plenty handy there.

[Mrs. Brixton]

Oh, you did fine, except for one thing.

[Narrator/Johnny Dollar]

Well, I mentioned lightness and how Pepsi refreshes and how fast it goes.

[Mrs. Brixton]

You left out Pepsi sociability. You know the Be Sociable song.

[Narrator/Johnny Dollar]

Okay, I can't sing. I can listen.

[Mrs. Brixton]

Be sociable. Look smart, Keep up to date with Pepsi. Drink light, refreshing Pepsi. Stay up there and get my air. Be sociable. Have a Pepsi.

[Narrator/Johnny Dollar]

Well, at least I can say this. Pick up an extra carton of Pepsi today. Please do. And now, act one of yours truly, Johnny Dollar, Expense account submitted by Special Investigator Johnny Dollar to Floyd's of England North American office, Hartford, Connecticut. Following is an account of expenses incurred during my investigation of the Alvin's Alfred matter. The assignments George Reid usually handed to me were usually bad enough, but a combination of both George and Alvin Peabody Cartwright could be just a little too thick. Anyhow, expense account item $1 for a cab. To his office. Now. Now, look, George, don't tell me Cartwright has shifted all his insurance over here to Floyd's of England.

[George Reid]

Sit down, Johnny, please. Sure.

[Narrator/Johnny Dollar]

Well, yes, he has then, baby.

[George Reid]

As a matter of fact, after months of effort and expense, I managed to sell him on our company myself.

[Narrator/Johnny Dollar]

Oh, brother.

[George Reid]

But if you have any idea of the amount of his annual premiums. Well, Johnny, it's a real feather in my cap.

[Narrator/Johnny Dollar]

But don't you realize what you've got yourself in for?

[George Reid]

I'm afraid I'm beginning to. So, Johnny, if you can get him off my neck.

[Narrator/Johnny Dollar]

Quite right. Twice in one month. Don't bank on it, but tell me all anyhow.

[George Reid]

It's really my own fault. So anxious to get his business. If you know how much that man spends on premiums every year.

[Narrator/Johnny Dollar]

Yeah, you said that. Now, get to the point.

[George Reid]

And I suppose I should have been more thorough, but, well, we figured that Continental had known what it was doing, and we simply made a direct transfer of all his policies to this company, including the one that concerns us now. Only it should never have been issued.

[Narrator/Johnny Dollar]

What kind of a policy?

[George Reid]

Straight life. On Cartwright?

[Alvin Peabody Cartwright]

No.

[George Reid]

With all the riders attached to it, Johnny. Not only covers her life, but accident, injury, mysterious disappearance, just about anything you can think of.

[Narrator/Johnny Dollar]

Covers whom?

[George Reid]

Well, the name on the policy.

[Narrator/Johnny Dollar]

Alfred. Alfred?

[George Reid]

Alfred Cartwright.

[Narrator/Johnny Dollar]

A relative? No, no. But if his last name is.

[George Reid]

No, Johnny. According to this policy, Alfred is a ward of Alvin Peabody Cartwright.

[Narrator/Johnny Dollar]

That's funny. I never knew that Cartwright had a. Well, what's the difference?

[George Reid]

What?

[Narrator/Johnny Dollar]

What's happened to this alfred?

[George Reid]

According to Mr. Cartwright, it was an abduction.

[Narrator/Johnny Dollar]

Oh, a kidnapping, huh?

[George Reid]

No, not exactly.

[Narrator/Johnny Dollar]

Oh, what do you mean? If he was abducted, that means he was. Wait a minute.

[George Reid]

Yes?

[Narrator/Johnny Dollar]

A minute ago you started talking about the insurance policy on her. That's right. And then you start talking about Alfred.

[George Reid]

Alfred is a.

[Narrator/Johnny Dollar]

She is a what? What do you mean about an abduction of her? Him it not being a kidnapping?

[George Reid]

I said not exactly.

[Narrator/Johnny Dollar]

But Alfred was abducted? Yes. Oh, look, would you start making some sense about this?

[George Reid]

I wish I could. And if this sort of thing is typical of Carpenter.

[Narrator/Johnny Dollar]

Come on, come on, George. If Alfred was abducted but wasn't kidnapped, well, okay, what happened?

[George Reid]

Well, you see, Johnny, Alfred a female. A female?

[Narrator/Johnny Dollar]

Wow.

[George Reid]

Alfred happens to be a dog.

[Narrator/Johnny Dollar]

Okay, so what's the difference? She's been abducted. She's been. She's a dog? Yes. Oh, no. I have smoking more now, but enjoying it less. Have a real cigarette. Have a Camel the best of bank will make the very best smoke. Have A real cigarette and have a Camel. Are you looking for flavor and mildness? Have a real cigarette and have a Camel. The best tobacco makes the very best smoke. Have a real cigarette, a real cigarette, a real cigarette. Have Camel again. For the 11th straight year, Camel outsold every other cigarette filter, king size and regular. The best tobacco makes the best smoke. So if you're smoking more now but enjoying it less, change to Camels. Get more real satisfaction every time. Start to really enjoy smoking again. Have a real cigarette, a real cigarette, a real cigarette. Have a Camel. And now, act two of yours truly, Johnny Dollar and the Alvin's Alfred, George. Life, accident, injury, mysterious disappearance. All that insurance on a dog.

[George Reid]

Yes, Johnny.

[Narrator/Johnny Dollar]

A female dog.

[George Reid]

Yes.

[Narrator/Johnny Dollar]

By the name of Alfred. Yes. A pet of that lovable old crackpot Alvin Peabody Cartwright his War Johnny.

[George Reid]

At least that's the way it reads on the policy. And that's why we thought nothing of it when the policy was transferred to us from Continental Insurance and Trust. Oh, but why Continental ever wrote such a policy in the beginning.

[Narrator/Johnny Dollar]

Oh, that part's easy, George.

[George Reid]

But the premium's only a drop in the bucket. I mean, compared to that on the rest of Cartwright's insurance.

[Narrator/Johnny Dollar]

Now, listen, if they'd refused to write this complicated policy on his dog, they'd have lost all his business. Well, they have now. To us. And Georgie, you can lose it just as fast unless you try to do something about this. This disappearance of that pooch.

[George Reid]

Unless you do something about it. Johnny, you've got to find Alfred and return him her. Return her to him. So, will you drive on over to Lakewood and talk to Mr. Cartwright? See what you can do. So help me, George and Johnny, I promise will not question a single item on your expense account, no matter what it is. As for a nice big extra fee, well, you name it.

[Safeway/Albertsons Announcer]

Save on family essentials at Safeway and Albertsons. This week at Safeway and Albertsons, fresh cut cantaloupe, watermelon, pineapple or melon medley bowls, 24 ounces are $5 each, and wild caught lobster tails are $4.99 each. Limit eight member price, plus selected sizes and varieties of Doritos, Lays, Cheetos, sun chips and Kettle cooked chips are $1.99 each. Limit four member price. Hurry in. These deals won't last. Visit safewayoralbertsons.com for more deals and ways to save.

[George Reid]

Well, will you do it?

[Narrator/Johnny Dollar]

Okay, George, on one condition.

[George Reid]

Yes?

[Narrator/Johnny Dollar]

That you keep this thing under your hat. I mean, after all, if the word ever got out that Johnny Dollar Was chasing around the countryside looking for a dog napper.

[George Reid]

Johnny, I promise. I cross my heart and hope to die. What a business.

[Narrator/Johnny Dollar]

With no limit on the expense account. I should have hired a Rolls complete with liveried chauffeur. But instead, item two was 420 for a tank full of gas in my own car. Within the hour, I was pounding on the front door of the Cartwright home over in Lakewood. Hi, Mr. Cartwright.

[Alvin Peabody Cartwright]

No, no, no, I'm sorry. I'm far too upset to talk to anyone right now, so goodbye.

[Narrator/Johnny Dollar]

No, no, wait a minute. Hey.

[Alvin Peabody Cartwright]

Yes. Why, Johnny.

[Narrator/Johnny Dollar]

That's right.

[Alvin Peabody Cartwright]

Well, why didn't you say so? Come in, boy, come in.

[Narrator/Johnny Dollar]

Sure. Well, sir, how are you?

[Alvin Peabody Cartwright]

Yes, come in and commiserate with me in my hour of bereavement. How anybody could be so wicked as to take Alfred, my pride and joy, away from me. But somebody did. And, Johnny, you must find her and must bring the culprit to justice. Spare no effort, spare no expense. But come on, Johnny.

[Narrator/Johnny Dollar]

Well, have you any idea, Mr. Cartwright, who might have walked off with the pooch?

[Alvin Peabody Cartwright]

Pooch? Oh, Johnny, how can you use such a term? Alfred was almost like a child to me. Dear little thing.

[Narrator/Johnny Dollar]

Oh, yeah, I'm sure. But you haven't answered my question.

[Alvin Peabody Cartwright]

Do I know who committed this dastardly deed?

[Narrator/Johnny Dollar]

Yes, of course.

[Alvin Peabody Cartwright]

Come along, Johnny. I'll show you Alfred's picture. So you know her when you see it.

[Narrator/Johnny Dollar]

All right. But now, why send for me, Mr. Cartwright?

[Alvin Peabody Cartwright]

Why?

[Narrator/Johnny Dollar]

Well, I mean, if you know who did this.

[Alvin Peabody Cartwright]

I certainly do. And Johnny, he must be made to pay the penalty for this nefarious deed. Now, look, here's dear little Alfred's room. Huh? Well, do you like it? Isn't it nice?

[Narrator/Johnny Dollar]

I could hardly believe my eyes. It was more like the playroom for some much too wealthy child. Why, he must have spent thousands on it. On the soft, thick wall to wall carpeting, the. Well, all the furnishings, including a bed in the corner with a foam rubber mattress. There was a growing tree in the middle of the floor and a half dozen miniature fireplugs scattered about. There were rubber bones and balls and toys of all sorts and sizes that. Toys. In addition to everything a dog could possibly play with. There was a big table with a scale model electric train and erector set, a microscope. A lot of other science toys, including a working model of a. Huh?

[Alvin Peabody Cartwright]

Isn't it nice, Johnny?

[Narrator/Johnny Dollar]

Oh, no, no, no. Look, Mr. Cartwright.

[Alvin Peabody Cartwright]

Yes?

[Narrator/Johnny Dollar]

Don't tell me the dog played with these things.

[Alvin Peabody Cartwright]

What thing?

[Narrator/Johnny Dollar]

Well, this toy seismographer. Toy?

[Alvin Peabody Cartwright]

What Are you talking about that really works?

[Narrator/Johnny Dollar]

See?

[Alvin Peabody Cartwright]

See how the recording needle gave a jump on the roll of tape on it? It runs for a week. Keeps perfect time.

[Narrator/Johnny Dollar]

Oh, well, sure. So the dog could tell when there's been an earthquake somewhere. Is that it?

[Alvin Peabody Cartwright]

Well, no, no. I may as well admit, Johnny, that some of these things are mine.

[Narrator/Johnny Dollar]

Yours? Yes.

[Alvin Peabody Cartwright]

When I was a child, the only toys I had were the ones my poor mother could make with her own hands. And I always said that if I ever had the money, I'd make up for it, that I'd have all the things I couldn't have then. So maybe I'm just a silly old man, second childhood, that sort of thing. But I said I'd have them, and now I have.

[Narrator/Johnny Dollar]

I see.

[Alvin Peabody Cartwright]

Did you ever have a nice electric train when you were a youngster?

[Narrator/Johnny Dollar]

Well, no. No, my. My folks couldn't afford it.

[Alvin Peabody Cartwright]

I bet you wanted one, didn't you?

[Narrator/Johnny Dollar]

Oh, sure I did. Doesn't every.

[Alvin Peabody Cartwright]

After you'd grown up, I bet you spent as much time looking at them in store windows as. As any kid. All the time wishing you dared to buy one. Just. Just a habit. You think it's all a Joke, Johnny?

[Narrator/Johnny Dollar]

Joke, Mr. Conrad.

[Alvin Peabody Cartwright]

About the man who buys his son a train for Christmas and then, well, you know, plays with it all Christmas morning.

[Narrator/Johnny Dollar]

Yeah, maybe you got a point there.

[Alvin Peabody Cartwright]

Of course I have. And that's the trouble with growing up. People get so proud or stuffy or something. They won't unbend, they won't let their hair down. Enjoy some of the simple little things that they'd really like to do. They're so afraid that somebody might laugh at them.

[Narrator/Johnny Dollar]

I'm not laughing, Mr. Cartwright.

[Alvin Peabody Cartwright]

And that's why I like you, Johnny. Because you're sense enough to realize that. Well, maybe an eccentric old character like me isn't so eccentric after all. He's just become smart enough to get rid of a lot of nonsensical inhibition.

[Narrator/Johnny Dollar]

Yeah, you have got a point there.

[Alvin Peabody Cartwright]

Maybe you can understand why this same old man is so upset about losing a wonderful companion. His dog. She was such a dear. I looked all over before I found her and bought her and brought her here.

[Narrator/Johnny Dollar]

Her, Mr. Cadre?

[Alvin Peabody Cartwright]

That's right.

[Narrator/Johnny Dollar]

Then why did you name her Alfred?

[Alvin Peabody Cartwright]

Well, to be honest about it, Johnny, I'd really hope for a boy. Yes.

[Narrator/Johnny Dollar]

Now, you say you know who kidnapped, who dognapped her?

[Alvin Peabody Cartwright]

Clarence.

[Narrator/Johnny Dollar]

Clarence?

[Alvin Peabody Cartwright]

Clarence Brixton, stupid day servant I fired yesterday. He was the only one that could have done it. Who would have done it? When did this happen last night between 7 and 8. I'd gone over to visit the widow Parkinson.

[Narrator/Johnny Dollar]

Oh, a bit of romance in your life, Mr. Kurt R?

[Alvin Peabody Cartwright]

Oh, Johnny, how can you say. Well, she. She is very nice. I mean, there was nobody here but little Alfred. I'd even locked her in.

[Narrator/Johnny Dollar]

What about the house? Was it locked?

[Alvin Peabody Cartwright]

Of course it was. But Clarence still had his key to it. And if you know this house down here, nobody could have broken in.

[Narrator/Johnny Dollar]

Oh, I'm sure that.

[Alvin Peabody Cartwright]

Besides, there was no sign of anybody. Find you. There was no footprints outside. There was no ladder marks. There was nothing. Even the stupid loco Yoko. Police agree that Clarence must have done it.

[Narrator/Johnny Dollar]

Then why haven't they nabbed him?

[Alvin Peabody Cartwright]

Because they believe his alibi from that character, that wife of his. They live the other side of town and she swears he was at home when it happened.

[Narrator/Johnny Dollar]

And you're sure that only he had a key to this house?

[Alvin Peabody Cartwright]

That's right outside of my own. It's a. So he must have done it. Only the dumb police won't do anything because of his so called alibi.

[Narrator/Johnny Dollar]

Then we got to break that alibi.

[Alvin Peabody Cartwright]

That's right. But how? How, Jenny?

[Narrator/Johnny Dollar]

Well, I got a crazy idea.

[Alvin Peabody Cartwright]

Well, I thought I was the only one who got.

[Narrator/Johnny Dollar]

Just let me take a real close look at one of these toys in here.

[Alvin Peabody Cartwright]

One of these toys?

[Narrator/Johnny Dollar]

Yeah, that's right. It's a long chance, Mr. Cartwright, but let's see what happens. Act three of yours truly, Johnny Dollar. In a moment, welcome recording star Mel Torme. It's terrible trying to sing with a bad cold. So I always take four way cold tablets to relieve cold miseries fast. Good idea. Tests of all the leading cold tablets proved four way Fastest acting. Four way starts in minutes to relieve muscular pains, headache, reduce fever, calm upset stomach. Also overcomes irregularity when you catch cold. Try my way. Take four way cold tablets the fast way to relieve cold distress and feel better quickly. Four way. Only 29 cents. Now here's a word about another fine product of Grove Laboratories. Had dandruff for years. Now get rid of it in three minutes with Fitch. Dandruff Remover Shampoo. Three minutes with Fitch regularly is guaranteed to keep unsightly dandruff away forever. Apply Fitch before wetting hair. Rub in one minute. Add water, lather one minute, then rinse. One minute. Every trace of dandruff goes down the drain. Three minutes with Fitch. Embarrassing. Dandruff's gone. Fitch can also leave hair up to 35% brighter. Get Fitch dandruff Remover shampoo today. And now act three of yours truly, Johnny Doll. I got back into my car and drove to the address of Clarence Brixton. I hoped he was as stupid as Cartwright seemed to think. Yeah, Mr. Mrs. Brixton?

[Mrs. Brixton]

That's right.

[Narrator/Johnny Dollar]

I want to see your husband.

[Mrs. Brixton]

No. Now, who are you?

[Narrator/Johnny Dollar]

Johnny Dollar, Special investigator. No. Get him out of here, Mabel. Throw him out. What are you so worried about, Brixton? First it was those dumb cops that crazy old geezer sends around here. Now it's you. Well, me, I'm fo up to hear all this yakkin about me takin that mangy little hound of his and that snappin yipping little little female.

[Mrs. Brixton]

That's what she done to my Clarence. Them sharp teeth of hern. You show em your hand, Clarence.

[Narrator/Johnny Dollar]

Yeah. Forget it, Mabel, and shut up. You get these marks when you were hauling Alfred out of that playroom against her will, huh? Now listen. A little dog, you say?

[Mrs. Brixton]

Oh, not much bigger than Clarence's hand pies and his little dog.

[Narrator/Johnny Dollar]

Oh, then you've seen it, Mrs. Brixton.

[Mrs. Brixton]

Well, no, no. Clarence told me about it.

[Narrator/Johnny Dollar]

Yeah, sure, I told her. Ah, I see. Well, what do you see? And I hope it means the dog is still alive after all, if you took the trouble to bring it here. What are you talking about? You trying to say I stole the dog off of them? So maybe nobody did, wise guy. What do you mean by that? Ask me, that lousy pooch got out of there on her own free will just to get away from that crazy Cartwright, like anybody in her right mind. Out of a locked room in a locked house. Sure. Cartwright always left the window open so she could sleep good. He left, so the dog took off somewhere. A little dog jumped out of a third story window. Why, it would have killed or crippled her. All right, so then he was wrong about when it happened while he was out. He said he was out between 7 and 8pm last night. And that's when somebody chased Alfred around until he caught her, then took her away. Prove it. Yeah, some big clumsy ox like yourself, Clarence, who had a key, who knew the place, knew he'd better leave the place looking undisturbed before getting away. But he didn't. Yeah. Here, take a look at this.

[Mrs. Brixton]

What's that? Huh?

[Narrator/Johnny Dollar]

From a working model seismograph there in that playroom.

[Mrs. Brixton]

What?

[Narrator/Johnny Dollar]

You see, Clarence, every clumsy footstep of yours registered in black and white for some five or six minutes during a period between 7 and 8 o'. Clock.

[Mrs. Brixton]

Oh, don't look like his feet to me.

[Narrator/Johnny Dollar]

But I didn't touch that thing. You didn't need to. You mean them squiggles on the paper? My footsteps? What do you think? And what do you think of modern scientific investigation, Clarence? Scientifical, huh?

[Mrs. Brixton]

Gee, but listen, mister, please. It was only so Clarence could make like he found the dog and then take him back. Then maybe get his job back.

[Narrator/Johnny Dollar]

Yeah, could have worked, too. Only. Only what, Clarence? Some local cops, they was a pushover. But then you. You had to come along. All right, Dollar. Well, dollar, I give myself up. Oh, sure, modern scientific investigation. But he fell for it. And Mabel brought the dog up from the cellar. And she was kind of a mangy little pooch, the dog, I mean. But she meant the difference between keeping or losing Cartwright's insurance account. Which reminds me, you can forget the expense account. Cartwright did well by me, as usual. And he'll probably break down and take Clarence back.

[George Reid]

Oh, well.

[Narrator/Johnny Dollar]

Yours truly, Johnny Dollar, Our star, will return in just a moment.

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[Narrator/Johnny Dollar]

Lax in your medicine cabinet. Now, here is our star to tell you about next week's program. Well, first, a real hearty welcome to WATV in Birmingham, Alabama, and the KSOB in Cedar City, Utah. Glad to have you with us on the network. Next week, I run up the biggest, the fattest expense accounts you ever heard of. Join us, won't you? Yours truly, Johnny D. Yours truly, Johnny Dollar, starring Bob Bailey, originates in Hollywood and is written, produced and directed by Jack Johnstone. Heard in our cast were Virginia Gregg G. Stanley Jones, Howard McNear and Frank Gersten. Be sure to join us next week, same time and station for another exciting story of yours truly, Johnny Dollar. This is John Wall speaking.

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