Yours Truly, Johnny Dollar: The Carmen Kringle Matter 12/22/1957

Summary

Podcast Title: Choice Classic Radio Detectives | Old Time Radio
Episode: Yours Truly, Johnny Dollar: The Carmen Kringle Matter
Release Date: December 16, 2024

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Introduction

In this engaging episode of Yours Truly, Johnny Dollar, titled The Carmen Kringle Matter, listeners are transported back to the Golden Age of Radio. Hosted by Choice Classic Radio, this episode spotlights Johnny Dollar, America's beloved freelance insurance investigator, as he delves into a peculiar case involving a dying prospector, a threatened lawsuit, and a unique beneficiary. The story seamlessly blends mystery, holiday spirit, and western charm, making it a standout installment for old-time radio enthusiasts.

Act One: The Case Unfolds

The episode kicks off with Johnny Dollar receiving an intriguing assignment from his boss, Bob Bailey. Johnny explains the situation:

Johnny Dollar (00:35): "An old prospector named Kringle is breathing his last up there. He wants to change a beneficiary on his $50,000 policy, but his nephew, Ned Kringle, threatens a suit if they comply."

Determined to uncover the truth, Johnny contacts their agent, Gene Craig, in Barstow, to learn that the new beneficiary is none other than Carmen Kringle—a donkey. This unusual choice raises red flags, prompting Johnny to investigate further.

Bob Bailey (00:50): "Carmen A. Borough. If I don't hear from you, Johnny."

Act Two: Journey to Calico

Johnny's investigation leads him to Calico, a ghost town with a colorful past, now revived by Walter Knott. As Johnny arrives, he's met by Gene Craig and introduced to the local marshal, Willie D'Agostino. The tension escalates when Johnny suspects foul play surrounding Chris Kringle's desire to change his policy's beneficiary.

During his exploration, Johnny encounters suspicious activities and becomes aware of Ned Kringle's ulterior motives. A pivotal moment occurs when Willie attempts to intimidate Johnny, revealing a potential plot to secure the policy:

Willie D'Agostino (05:08): "There'll be no policy changing at this late date. Mr. Ned Kringle is very bereaved at the imminence of his uncle's demise."

Undeterred, Johnny presses on, convinced that Ned's intentions are malicious. His persistence leads to a confrontation where Johnny outsmarts Willie, preventing him from harming Chris Kringle.

Act Three: Unmasking the Culprits

In the climactic final act, Johnny exposes Ned Kringle and Willie D'Agostino's scheme to inherit the $50,000 policy. Through sharp intuition and quick thinking, Johnny uncovers that Ned intended to kill his uncle to gain control over the insurance money. The revelation not only resolves the case but also ensures that Calico remains a thriving community:

Johnny Dollar (12:07): "He did strike it rich, Ned. When he dies, every man, woman, and child in this town will mourn him. He'll live in their hearts."

The episode concludes with a heartwarming Christmas celebration in Calico, honoring Chris Kringle's legacy. Johnny submits his expense account, reflecting on the adventure:

Johnny Dollar (18:58): "This is the best holiday I ever had. And I was only cold at the start."

Conclusion

The Carmen Kringle Matter is a quintessential Johnny Dollar episode, blending mystery, ingenuity, and holiday cheer. Johnny's unwavering dedication to justice and his ability to navigate complex situations shine throughout the narrative. The episode not only entertains but also imparts a message about community, integrity, and the spirit of Christmas. For fans of old-time radio detective stories, this episode is a delightful addition to the genre's rich tapestry.

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Notable Quotes:

• Johnny Dollar (00:35): "An old prospector named Kringle is breathing his last up there."
• Willie D'Agostino (05:08): "There'll be no policy changing at this late date."
• Johnny Dollar (12:07): "He did strike it rich, Ned. When he dies, every man, woman, and child in this town will mourn him."
• Johnny Dollar (18:58): "This is the best holiday I ever had. And I was only cold at the start."

Timestamp Highlights:

• 00:35: Introduction of the case by Bob Bailey.
• 05:08: Willie D'Agostino confronts Johnny in Calico.
• 12:07: Johnny reveals Ned's true intentions.
• 18:58: Johnny reflects on the case's resolution and the holiday spirit.

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Yours Truly, Johnny Dollar: The Carmen Kringle Matter masterfully combines suspense and seasonal warmth, making it a memorable episode for both long-time fans and new listeners seeking classic radio detective tales.

Transcript

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I love it. I really do. Welcome to Choice Classic Radio, where we.

Bring to you the greatest old time radio shows. Like us on Facebook. Subscribe to us on YouTube and thank you for donating@Choice ClassicRadio.com Johnny Diller. Pat McCracken. Johnny, how's the weather in Palm Springs? A blonde in a bikini just melted past my poolside window. Goodbye now. Oh, don't hang up, Johnny. This job's just a few miles north of where you are. It'll take maybe a day to clear it up. You said that last Christmas. Pat and I got trapped in a blizzard. This season I soak in the sun. Happy New Year, John boy. We have a bonus list in this office. Your name could be on it. Near where I am, huh? It's a ghost town in Calico. An old prospect named Kringle is breathing his last up there. I thought all prospectors never died. He wants to change a beneficiary on his $50,000 policy, but a nephew, Ned Kringle, threatens suit if we let him. So you contact our agent, Gene Craig in Barstow. Who's the new beneficiary? Carmen Kringle. Carmen A borough. A borough, yeah. If I don't hear from you, Johnny. Merry Christmas, Bob Bailey in the exciting adventures of the man with the action tax expense account, America's fabulous freelance insurance investigator, yours truly, Johnny Dollar. And now, act one of yours truly, Johnny Dollars expense account submitted by special investigator Johnny Dollar to the home office Universal Adjustment Bureau, Hartford, Connecticut. Following is an account of expenses incurred during my investigation of the Carmen Kring expense account. Item 1, $.40 telegram to Gene Craig and Barstow telling him where and when to leave me. Item 2. 50 even to Al Sterner for his charter plane to the ghost town of Calico. The guidebook says there's something about desert country that's good to the soul. And in spite of the air bumps, I got a panoramic view of the great Mojave that took my breath away. The sun setting rays hit the weird mineral straighters of the Calico Range and turned them into a patchwork of beauty. Night comes quickly in this country, and I turned to Al when a Christmas Tree cluster of blinking lights appeared under our wing. By way of answer, he put the plane into a glide and set us down on the smooth surface of a dry lake bed. Johnny, you want me to wait around until your friend shows up? No. No, thanks. It seems to be plenty of company. It's just an old coyote. Don't stand too long or you'll freeze to the spot. Okay. Good luck. Call me when you want to be picked. I watched Al's plane until it was swallowed by the darkness. Then suddenly I got that feeling in the hair on the back of my neck that I wasn't alone. The moon was up enough to make out shadows. And silhouetted in a circle around me was a strange collection of figures. One of the pack moved toward me and for a crazy second I thought I'd bumped into Santa Claus reindeer. Then a car without lights came rushing at me. The headlights slammed on and I got a glimpse of a donkey herd scattering into the night. All right, mister, walk toward me slow with your hand high. I've learned never to argue with a Winchester.94, so I followed orders. I spotted the weaving headlamps of another car approaching and prayed it was the agent, Gene Craig. Close enough, sonny. I can pop the rappers off a sidewinder. 60 yards. Don't you make no sudden move. He was maybe 60 with gray sideburns and a frosty go a Marshall's badge with a pin to his leather jacket. All right now, miss. You Marshall.

Marshall.

That's all right.

[Johnny Dollar]

That's Mr. Dollar, huh? I sent to meet him earlier. I'm awful sorry, Mr. Dollar. I'm Jean Craig. I couldn't get here until I drove Doc Spangler up to Chris. He's had another setback. Marshall?

[Podbean Announcer]

Yeah. Some darn fool let down a rail on his corral and Kris Kringle's whole zir got loose. You don't give a chuck for most of them, though. Except Carmen. Now he's fretting cause she's running wild. Almost had him tracked down when this here fella showed up. If you vouch for him. Huh, Gene?

[Johnny Dollar]

You are Johnny Dollar, aren't you?

[Podbean Announcer]

Well, a frozen facility.

[Johnny Dollar]

Come on, I'll drive you into Calico.

[Podbean Announcer]

You tell Chris that I'll have his Carmen back in the corral before the moon's full. And Gene, tell the old sourdough to stay alive, will you? We need him around here. Sorry about mistaking you, Dollars. Jean Craig with a J. Knew her way around. She was strictly business and filled me in fast on the old prospector with the Odd name. And his desire to change the beneficiary of his policy.

[Johnny Dollar]

Everybody calls him Chris because every year he loads up his bows with toys and presents for the miners and their families back in the hills. The kids really think he is Santa Claus. I'm afraid it won' be a very merry one for them this year.

[Podbean Announcer]

What makes everyone so sure Kris Kringle is giving up the ghost?

[Johnny Dollar]

Doc Spangler says there's nothing apparently wrong with him. More like he's given out.

[Podbean Announcer]

Oh, what's with this Scrooge character? The nephew, Ned Kringle seems all right.

[Johnny Dollar]

It's the man with him, Willie D'Agostino. He does the talking for Ned. You think he was going to inherit the money?

[Podbean Announcer]

Well, maybe he's expecting to. You know, you're making a good chase for Carmen.

[Johnny Dollar]

Can a borough be a beneficiary, Johnny?

[Podbean Announcer]

Chris can leave it to a three minutes at Schooner if he wants. Providing a trust is set up.

[Johnny Dollar]

Could the people of Calico be that trust if they promise to take care of Carmen?

[Podbean Announcer]

Yeah, I guess so. Why?

[Johnny Dollar]

That's the way Chris wants it. That way there'll always be a business in Calico.

[Podbean Announcer]

What happens when Carmen goes to donkey heaven? Or is it burros that never die? There'll always be Burroughs and Calico, Johnny.

[Johnny Dollar]

And one of them could always be named Carmen.

[Podbean Announcer]

Act two of yours truly, Johnny Dollar. In a moment. Act two of yours truly Johnny Dollar and the Carmen Kringle matter.

[Johnny Dollar]

Well, here we are, Johnny Calico. Once the richest silver city in the West.

[Podbean Announcer]

It was unbelievable. Like seeing a page from the past. Walter Knott, famed creator of Knott's Berry Farm and western historian, had bought the old ghost town's battered remnants and restored it to the way it must have appeared in the wild and fevered days of the silverload. I can make out signs nailed the weathered batten boards that told of a flourishing and colorful past. Show Saloon. The Last Chance Hyena House Hotel. Lane's Mercantile. The Calico Print. High on a hill at the edge of town, people were gathered at the entrance to a cave that was illuminated by hundreds of miners lamps.

[Johnny Dollar]

And it gets you, huh?

[Podbean Announcer]

Almost like it was planned.

[Johnny Dollar]

You're a hurting for the Christmas Eve pageant. Maybe you can spend Christmas Eve with us, Johnny. You don't have other plans?

[Podbean Announcer]

I have a day with a steam heated swimming pool.

[Johnny Dollar]

What?

[Podbean Announcer]

Come on, let's meet the old man. Expense account item 3. 100 bucks for a quart of perfume or a mink scarf. Anything to wipe the hurt look off of jeans Craig's face. She led me up the steps to the rickety porch of Kris Kringle's wooden shack. A tall figure carrying a black bag stepped toward us out of the shadows. Yeah, I'm glad to see you. Will you drive me back to town?

[Johnny Dollar]

Why, certainly, Doc. Oh, this is Mr. Dollar.

[Podbean Announcer]

Hi, son. Hi, Chris.

[Johnny Dollar]

Is he still all right?

[Podbean Announcer]

I couldn't say. Been sitting out here waiting for you. You haven't seen the patient? The medical man owes a duty and all that. But I'm too old. Talk back to a gun.

[Johnny Dollar]

They wouldn't let you in.

[Podbean Announcer]

Tired of it. Well, I'm not a medical man.

[Johnny Dollar]

Well, please be, Johnny.

[Podbean Announcer]

I told you Dog won't stay away and leave the old man. Well, if it ain't little Genie the policy fixes. And who are you?

[Johnny Dollar]

Mr. Willie D'Agostino. This is Johnny Dollar. He's from the insurance company to see about changing the policy.

[Podbean Announcer]

Where's the woolly? Who are you talking to? Relax, man. Give us some tourist directions back to Barstow. There'll be no policy changing at this late date. Mr. Ned Kringle is very bereaved at the imminence of his uncle's demise. Just family admitted at this sad hour. So, Moses, your long full sound leaves the young man to his grave. Your foot is in the door, mister. I don't like your foot and I don't like you. His hand moved to his shoulder holster. But Gene was standing right beside me. There was Doc, who suddenly shouldered past D'Agostino and fled up the stairs. That gave me my chance. I kicked the door wide, threw him off balance. I shoved Genie aside and that was a mistake because a million Christmas tree lights blazed up in my skull. Then slowly, the tree lights faded away and I saw Genie fussing over me and looking worried. A young, nice looking fellow was seated next to a marble top table. D'Agostino leaned against the stone fireplace and dangled his gun, smiling like he had a stacked dick.

[Johnny Dollar]

He's all right, Doc.

[Podbean Announcer]

A nasty cut with no fracture. I know how to pull my punches, Doc. The old man, how is he? No better, no worse. Just lying up there, staring at the ceiling.

[Johnny Dollar]

I want to see Chris. I have a right to. Ned, I'm an old friend.

[Podbean Announcer]

Wouldn't it be okay if Gene just went up? Let him die in peace past Karen hose. Willie, these people have no. I'll get a hero boy and a speak and shove off. Go on.

[Johnny Dollar]

Come on, Johnny. Help me, Doc.

[Podbean Announcer]

How's it gonna feel, Ned, sharing blood money with a Hoodlum. Your uncle paid for that policy with a pick and a shovel. It took a lot of years, a lot of sweat. And he's had your name on that policy ever since you were born. Old man Kringle never saw pay dirt in his life. Give him money to live on. Paid the premiums on his policy. Chris was always tapping a kid, claiming he had a new fire and he was going to mine a million. Will he shut up? The old man's dying. Tell him. Tell him how the old phony was always taking the bars, making like Santa Claus with the money you give him. Willie, haven't you got a hold to the money? I know who's been waiting a long time for this. Me. Willie D'Agostino, that's who. Is that true, Ned? Yes. I thought my uncle would make a strike someday. I honestly thought he'd strike it rich. I know he tried.

[Johnny Dollar]

He did strike it rich, Ned. When he dies, every man, woman and child in this town will mourn him. He'll live in their hearts. What will people remember about you, Mr. D'Agostino?

[Podbean Announcer]

All right, get out. Get out. And stay up and work. Really, this rifle will make a hole in your belly big enough to pass a borax team through. So you just drop that gun. Well, I don't know what the shouting's about, but you're guilty of carrying sidearms. You're threatening violence, Mr. D'Agostino, and ain't nobody does that in Calico, long as I'm the marshal. Now, you better get Ed.

[Johnny Dollar]

I love you.

[Podbean Announcer]

Told that Gladys here that. Well, I'll see how Chris is, Doc. Tell the old buzzard that I got his Carmen back in the corral, jingle bells and all. Yeah, nice work, Ed. Now, what's holding you, mister? Okay, okay. All right, let's go, Ned. Let the squares have a round, huh? I'm gonna stay here, Willie. I want to be here when Chris. Hey, that's a good idea. That way, no fooling around with the will, huh? Smart kid, that Ned. See you at the funeral, huh?

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I'll go up now.

[Johnny Dollar]

You were wonderful, Marshall. You too, Johnny.

[Podbean Announcer]

Oh yeah, sure. I take a nice sock on the head. Hey, you folks better come up too. Chris wants to say something. I figured on this corral. Come on. Dino must have had another gun in it. Car one of the bullets that found the mark. The intended woolly boy wasn't taking any chances that Carmen Kringle would inherit $50,000. We found the burrow lying on their side, quite dead. Jingle bells and all. Act three of yours truly, Johnny Dollar in a moment. Oh. Act three of yours truly Johnny Dollar and the Carmen Kringle matter.

[Johnny Dollar]

Marshall. Johnny. How could he have been so cruel? Crime and dead. Just not right.

[Podbean Announcer]

Yeah, I figured Dino might be mean enough to try killing Chris's pet bull.

[Johnny Dollar]

We can't tell him about it. It would come for sure.

[Podbean Announcer]

He'll have know the truth. Jean, you'll have to decide about the world. Yeah. Truth is always the best. And easy this time.

[Johnny Dollar]

Easy, huh?

[Podbean Announcer]

Yeah. I'll just take these bells off and this poor little feller and I'll put them where they belong. Carmen. What Carmen? Mosy. Over here now. Well, you pull the switch. You put these bells on another book. I didn't trust that greasy character. And I was right. And nice girl Carl. Now you folks going up and see old Chris? I'll keep an eye on this year. $50,000. Jackass. That's the way it's going to be, ain't it Johnny? Yes sir. That's the way it's going to be. But I was wrong. The roly poly little old man on the four poster bed with his white whiskers resting on the quilt. Changed his mind again. Even after hearing about how the marshal saved karma. I wasn't going to scratch Ned's name off of that insurance, Mr. Dollar. I tried to shake that bag of steno. Figured he'd take his hooks off of Ned if he thought my Carmen was going to get the money. Oh, I was scared for a while that I just might have to up and dive square my nephew's gambling debts. I. I'm sorry, Chris. I'll work my fingers raw paying every cent I owe. But I'll pay him back with interest. What's you around? Yes.

[Johnny Dollar]

James Dollar.

[Podbean Announcer]

Yeah. Chris lifts the lid on that foot locker. Fetch me one of them bags you made. They're pretty heavy, but you look strong. They're sure heavy enough. Take out himself with silver. He keeps burying silver. Open it up. Open it up. There. Recognize that? Maybe you'd better have a good sleep. Chris, this here is plain old gravel.

[Johnny Dollar]

It's uranium.

[Podbean Announcer]

Duck, huh? The last batch assayed at $900 a ton. And I got a mountain of it staked out in both our names. Ed, you don't care.

[Johnny Dollar]

Why grass?

[Podbean Announcer]

If you and Jeannie check with a Barstow bank, you'll find that they'll extend credit on the strength of that assay. You reckon you can spend two days buying enough presents so as we won't disappoint the folk here about the expensive car items? Floor, $68. Even telephone calls to five principal cities where I thought Willie D'Agostino might be remembered. The police departments had a long list of reasons why they remembered Willie. That was my Christmas present to them. Expense account item 5. Another 50 truck rental to haul the presents we bought for Ned to give away come Christmas. And then it was Christmas Eve. We sat on the Kringles porch and watched the procession up to the Maggie Mine. The flickering lights from the miners lamps reflecting on the faces of the happy children. Old Chris was bundled up in blankets, his little eyes twinkling, chuckling to himself like he knew all the answers of the universe. Gene with their children.

[Johnny Dollar]

Kevin Rice, isn't it? Shouting.

[Podbean Announcer]

Marshall. Ed Noller was one of the wise men in the procession. I recognized the sideburns. And Doc Spangler couldn't hide his height. Oh, he wore an awful beard. Ned Pringle led the burrow that carried the blessed mother. Yeah, you guessed it. The borough was Carmen Cringle. Expense account total, including return to Palm springs and incidentals, $229.75. But forget it, Pat. This is the best holiday I ever had. And I was only cold at the start. From all of us to all of you, may this be your very merriest Christmas ever. Yours, Julene. Johnny. Do.