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George Reed
Ever wonder what life is like with a phantom screen?
Johnny Dollar
It's magic.
Durango Laramie Brown
It is.
Carol Dalhart
Oh, wow.
Johnny Dollar
Wow. Wow.
George Reed
Wow.
Johnny Dollar
Wow, wow, wow.
Carol Dalhart
Why is that?
Johnny Dollar
This is amazing.
George Reed
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Welcome to Choice Classic Radio, where we bring to you the greatest old time radio shows like us on Facebook. Subscribe to us on YouTube and thank you for donating@ChoiceClassicRadio.com.
George Reed
From Hollywood. It's time now for.
Johnny Dollar
Johnny Dollar.
George Reed
George Reid here.
Johnny Dollar
Huh? Hey, now listen, George, if Floyd's of England keeps handing me cases, how can I work for the other insurance companies?
George Reed
Well, what I'm calling about this time isn't really a case.
Johnny Dollar
So what? As long as the company pays my expense account and maybe a nice little fee to boot. Fee? Sure.
George Reed
Well, I'm not even certain you'll need an expense account.
Johnny Dollar
Oh, then. Now wait a minute, Johnny.
George Reed
Johnny, I think you'd better come over here my office, so that we can talk about this.
Johnny Dollar
Well, I don't want to sound chintzy, George, but a cab to your place will cost me over a buck.
George Reed
Oh, well, that can go on the expense account, of course. Good.
Johnny Dollar
Then as long as we've established the expense account for this thing, whatever it is. I'll see you in a few minutes.
George Reed
Well, now, there's no hurry, Johnny, so just take your time.
Johnny Dollar
Huh?
George Reed
I said take your time about getting here.
Johnny Dollar
Yeah, I'll be right over.
George Reed
Bob Bailey in the Intriguing Adventures of the man with the action packed expense Account, America's fabulous freelance insurance investigator, yours truly, Johnny Dollar. And now, act one of yours Truly, Johnny Dol.
Johnny Dollar
Expense account submitted by special investigator Johnny Dollar to Floyd's of England North American office, Hartford, Connecticut. Following is an account of expenses incurred during my investigation of the cautious celibate matter. Wait a minute. Over the phone, George Reed did not tell me what he wanted me for. Also, he very plainly said not to hurry. Hmm. Item $1.20. No, make it a buck and a half for a taxi down to his office.
Carol Dalhart
Go right in, Mr. Dollar. Mr. Reed's expecting you.
Johnny Dollar
Okay, thanks.
George Reed
Oh, come in, John. Yeah, but I tried to tell you on the phone. There was no reason to rush over.
Johnny Dollar
Oh, yeah, yeah, I got the message, George. That's why I did rush.
George Reed
Oh, well, sit down. Sit down.
Johnny Dollar
Sure. Well.
George Reed
Cigarette?
Johnny Dollar
No, no, thanks. I'll smoke one of my arms.
George Reed
Oh, sure. But here, let me give you a lunch.
Johnny Dollar
Okay.
George Reed
Honey. I filled this thing just this morning.
Johnny Dollar
Ah, here, give it to me.
George Reed
Oh, that's all right. I'm sure I can make it work.
Johnny Dollar
What is this, George? Some kind of a stall here giving everything?
Durango Laramie Brown
Well.
Johnny Dollar
As for me, I don't think you were trying.
George Reed
I guess I didn't flick it hard enough.
Johnny Dollar
Yeah. Now, what's on your mind?
George Reed
Well, you got back from that assignment out in Oklahoma sooner than I expected. From that town with the unlikely name of Bum Spun?
Johnny Dollar
Well, it's really the name of Durango, Laramie, Delhart's ranch. Crazy old character. But I like him.
George Reed
Bum Spun. Now, what can a name like that possibly mean?
Johnny Dollar
Are you kidding? You saw me yourself the other day just before I went out there.
George Reed
Oh, did I?
Johnny Dollar
Well, of course you did. It's an old Indian name. Means bum. Means bad spring, bad water.
Durango Laramie Brown
Oh, of course.
George Reed
You cleaned up everything out there.
Johnny Dollar
What's the matter with you, George? Didn't you read the report I handed in with my expense account?
George Reed
Well, I sort of glanced over it. But you're coming back so soon. And with Durango's pretty niece out there, Carol Dalhart.
Johnny Dollar
Oh, what about Carol?
George Reed
Didn't I kind of get the impression that Durango would like to have you marry her?
Johnny Dollar
Well, you should have. Every time I get within spitting distance of Oklahoma, I expect him to shove a shotgun at my back. And, well, that's why I left there in such a hurry. Oh, sure, right after settling that insurance matter. Only it was for Durango's old pal, Sidewinder Wilson. Another character?
George Reed
Yes, Durango was here in Hartford. But Carol was there, wasn't she?
Johnny Dollar
Yeah, she certainly was. And, George, I'd love to have stuck around a while, you know, to be with her. But when I got word that Durango was about to get back there, that he was bringing along a preacher, oh, brother, I took off.
George Reed
Why, Johnny, Why?
Johnny Dollar
Let's face it, George. I'm afraid I'm a confirmed celibate.
George Reed
Well, at least you say you are. But aren't you rather fond of Carol, Del?
Johnny Dollar
Well, I've told you, she's a living doll. She's tall, dark and very beautiful. She's intelligent. She has a lot of spark, a lot of spunk, too, and a wonderful sense of humor. Yeah, to put it Bluntly, Carol has everything. Everything a man could possibly want. And, George, when I take that gal in my arms.
George Reed
Why don't you marry her, Johnny? Confirmed bachelor, eh? But you don't sound like it.
Johnny Dollar
No. Sometimes when I think about her, I don't feel like it.
George Reed
Well, then.
Johnny Dollar
No, no, no, no, no. Let's stop talking about it.
Durango Laramie Brown
Why?
Johnny Dollar
Because, George, I'm not marrying. Not Carol or anyone else. At least not right now.
George Reed
Someday, perhaps.
Johnny Dollar
Not now.
George Reed
Best years of your life, Johnny. And with someone like her.
Johnny Dollar
George, I've made up my mind about this whole thing, and that's that.
George Reed
Yes, but I'll bet if she were.
Johnny Dollar
To walk in here suddenly. I said cut it out, please. And listen. What difference does it make to you? What business is it of yours?
George Reed
Well, of course, it wouldn't hurt me a bit from the standpoint of client relationship, huh? And after all, Durango is a mighty good client.
Johnny Dollar
You mean to say you've been giving me this. This. This big marriage build up? Just George. So helpy, I ought to wring your neck.
George Reed
Well, now, Johnny, but.
Johnny Dollar
Come on, now. You've been stalling around long enough. Stalling? Yes, stalling. Now, what did you want to see me about?
George Reed
Well, actually, it's about Durango. Johnny. He. He asked me to have you come here.
Johnny Dollar
What for?
George Reed
And to keep you here.
Johnny Dollar
What?
George Reed
Yes, until he can arrive.
Johnny Dollar
You mean Durango's on his way here?
George Reed
Well, he thought of asking you to fly out to Bumspung again, but he was afraid you wouldn't.
Johnny Dollar
George, can't you see what this means? Can't you see why he's coming here? And probably with that shotgun I mentioned.
George Reed
Oh, now, Johnny.
Johnny Dollar
No, sir. George. When old Durango gets here, you tell him, huh?
Durango Laramie Brown
Where is he?
Johnny Dollar
Durango?
Durango Laramie Brown
Ain't that Johnny Donner got here yet?
Johnny Dollar
Wait. The fire escape.
George Reed
What did you say?
Durango Laramie Brown
Oh, yeah. Well, then I'll go right here.
Johnny Dollar
Johnny, wa. Wait. Tell him I left town. No, wait. Listen.
Durango Laramie Brown
Well, where is he?
George Reed
Durango.
Durango Laramie Brown
Hi there, Georgie. Where's he? At the window. You mean went out the window?
Johnny Dollar
Yes.
Durango Laramie Brown
Johnny. You come back here. Johnny, you hear me? I said come back here.
George Reed
And now, act two of yours truly, Johnny Dollar and the cautious celibate.
Durango Laramie Brown
Matter.
Johnny Dollar
Needless to say, when that wild old character, Durango Laramie Brown, I started shooting at him in the middle of the office building. Well, I really made time down that fire escape. And I didn't stick around to see how he was going to square himself with the police. Because before I could even reach the nearest corner, a couple of Prowl cars pulled up in front of Floyd's of England and out piled half a dozen cops, all pulling their guns. No, sir, I grabbed a taxi. That's item two. And it comes to $5 even for the fastest ride I could get to my apartment. Because Durango's presence in Hartford can mean only one thing. Yes, sir. He was still obsessed with the idea that I should marry his niece, Carol delhart. Sure, I care a lot for Carol. Maybe even love her. I don't know. And I know that she likes me. Likes me a lot. But I also know that neither of us is going to be railroaded into marriage by old Durango yet there couldn't be any other reason for his coming here. So I dragged out a couple of handbags and proceeded to pack them. Pack them? Well, then, item three. Another dime for a phone call.
Durango Laramie Brown
George Reed here.
Johnny Dollar
So what happened, George? The cops haul him off and throw him into the clink. Durango? Who else?
George Reed
Johnny, this man is unbelievable. It's fantastic. I don't know how he worked it, how much it cost him. And of course, as always, he came here loaded with money. Thousands, Johnny.
Johnny Dollar
Yeah, well, but the police didn't even.
George Reed
Take those six guns away from him.
Johnny Dollar
Oh, brother. All the more reason why I'm getting out of here.
George Reed
Yes, Durango still thinks he's living in the old days of the wild and woolly west, when they only.
Carol Dalhart
What?
George Reed
You're leaving?
Johnny Dollar
Oh, you bet your life I am. And I'm putting all the costs of transportation on expense accounts. After all, it was you who got me into this whole thing.
George Reed
Listen to me. Where are you going?
Johnny Dollar
Why do you think I tell you? You're in cahoots with this wild old man that's trying to get me to marry his niece.
George Reed
But, Johnny, if you and Carol love each other.
Johnny Dollar
So what do you think? We want him to force us into it?
George Reed
Well, now, look, suppose we.
Johnny Dollar
Yeah. Oh, come on, George. I'm in a hurry. George.
George Reed
Are you in your apartment, Johnny?
Johnny Dollar
That's right. But not for any longer than ever.
George Reed
Wonder what life is like with a phantom screen.
Johnny Dollar
It's magic.
Durango Laramie Brown
It is?
Carol Dalhart
Oh, wow.
Johnny Dollar
Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow.
Carol Dalhart
What is that?
Johnny Dollar
It's amazing.
George Reed
Retractable screens for your home. Make life better.
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Johnny Dollar
Why do you ask that? You stay right there, Johnny Durango.
Durango Laramie Brown
You just stay right there. I'm coming right over. I gotta talk to you, young feller. And that ain't all. You hear me, Johnny?
Johnny Dollar
Yeah. California, here I come. Thanks to the late hour, I was able to get a plane without any trouble. Though I half expected to see Durango come tearing out to the field with those crazy six guns blazing before we took off incident. I use the name of Bailey when I grab my ticket, just in case. Oh, and Incidentally, George, item four is 146.85 Ticket to Los Angeles. It's on my American Express credit card, but believe me, brother, I'm collecting from you. You may have to pay for a lot of travel before I'm through with this thing.
George Reed
This is the pilot speaking. He'll be landing in Chicago in about 10 minutes.
Durango Laramie Brown
Weather is clear, the moon is bright.
George Reed
And ground temperature is 52 degrees.
Carol Dalhart
Is there a Mr. Johnny Dollar on board? A Mr. Johnny Dollar? I don't have him listed among the passengers, but is there a Mr. Johnny Dollar on board?
Johnny Dollar
Stewardess?
Carol Dalhart
Yes, Mr. Bailey, isn't it?
Johnny Dollar
This Johnny Dollar you're asking for? A friend of mine, I guess he. Miss?
Carol Dalhart
Yes, I guess he must have.
Johnny Dollar
Anything important for him?
Carol Dalhart
Well, just a radio message.
Johnny Dollar
Well, as I say, I'm a good friend of his, so why don't you let me see that message and perhaps I can.
Durango Laramie Brown
Well, you know.
Carol Dalhart
Oh, no, sir. I'm terribly sorry, but that would be against regulation.
Johnny Dollar
Well, what if it's anything important, I'm.
Carol Dalhart
Sorry, but thank you just the same. Fasten your seat belt, please.
Johnny Dollar
Yeah, sure. When we landed in Chicago, I was tempted to grab a telephone, called George Reed and asked him if Durango had given up the chase. For I knew that by now George must have realized he'd have to be on my side in this whole silly business. But during the stopover, I didn't even risk leaving the plane. Finally, we took off again and I managed to sleep for a while. But all I could dream about was Durango chasing me through streets and alleys across the plains on foot, on horseback, in a car, a boat, a train. And all the time firing those handguns at me. Wild, fantastic dreams. By the time we got to Los Angeles, I was a physical metal wreck. But I knew that for the Time being, at least I was clear at Durango. So after picking up my bags, I elbowed my way through the crowd to the taxi stand. Excuse me, please. Pardon me, ma'.
Durango Laramie Brown
Am.
Johnny Dollar
Sorry. Thank you. Taxi. Taxi. Hey, hey, hey. Taxi.
Durango Laramie Brown
Here you are, Johnny. I heard this here no fancy limousine for you and me, huh? Say, you ought to took one of them new jet flights like I done.
Johnny Dollar
Durango would have got you here a lot quicker. Durango, listen.
Durango Laramie Brown
Well, sir Johnny, I finally catched up with you, didn't I.
Johnny Dollar
Durango?
Durango Laramie Brown
Well, sir Johnny, I finally catched up with you, didn't I?
Johnny Dollar
Yeah, I guess you did.
Durango Laramie Brown
Well, you're the slipperiest young maverick I ever did see. Now, hi yourself up in this here now fancy limousine that I hired for you.
Johnny Dollar
Okay, Durango, whatever. Huh?
Durango Laramie Brown
Huh? What's the matter?
Johnny Dollar
Look, that man.
Durango Laramie Brown
Where?
Johnny Dollar
The other side of your car. Hasn't he got a gun there?
Durango Laramie Brown
Well, I have, so I'll soon find out. You wait here, Johnny.
Johnny Dollar
Oh, sure. I dropped my bags and tore back onto the passenger ramp. By jumping over a fence, I was able to climb on board an airliner that was about to leave. By flashing my credentials at the stewardess, I kept her from throwing me off. And in a couple of minutes, we were in the air. Yes, sir. And headed for Portland, Oregon. The plane fares, item 5, 5620. And to prove I'm not kidding about the company paying my expenses on this wild trip, item six is 414 for my two leather handbags and all the clothes I'd packed in them. So what happened at Portland? You won't believe it, but Durango was there and waiting for me. Sure, he chartered a plane, and because of the stops that my flight made along the way, he got there first. But I saw him in time.
Durango Laramie Brown
Over here, Johnny.
Johnny Dollar
By jumping another fence and doing 100 yards in something like nine seconds flat, I managed to find a taxi stand. Item 7. $35 for a wild ride through the streets of Portland. Because I knew that somewhere in back of us, Durango was in hot pursuit. We finally ended up at a private airstrip out north of town. I'd have made 200 bucks for the plane I charted. And I told the pilot just to go go anywhere. But according to regulations, he had to report his course and destination. So I knew that sooner or later, Durango, who's nobody's fool and more important, with all his money, would be on my tail again. I racked my brain trying to figure out some way, trying to think of someone who could possibly. Yeah, Someone. And then it occurred to me there was someone. Sure, of course. The one person in the world who was in the same spot. I was sure. It could be like walking into a lion's den.
Durango Laramie Brown
But.
Johnny Dollar
Item 9, a total of $114. Plane, bus, train and rental car. First to Enid, Oklahoma, then north to the broken down little ranch at Bum Spot. And yep, Carol was there. That lovely, loving Carol. Oh, easy, gal, easy.
Carol Dalhart
You don't like to be kid.
Johnny Dollar
Oh, I do, I do. Yeah, well, I love it, honey, and you'd know it. But listen, has Durango been here?
Carol Dalhart
Oh, Johnny, I don't know where that old.
Johnny Dollar
Yeah, well, I do. We went to Hartford.
Carol Dalhart
Hartford?
Johnny Dollar
Hartford. Gunning for me. That crazy old man is so set on having us get married, Carol.
Carol Dalhart
I'm sure he is. But to go all the way to. Well, now, that's just carrying things too far.
Johnny Dollar
Yeah, I think so too.
Carol Dalhart
I mean, if he thinks that by waving a six gun around. Listen, Johnny Dollar, I'm real gone on you, you know that.
Johnny Dollar
Jan, I think you know how I feel about you.
Carol Dalhart
That doesn't mean that just because older angle wants it that way, we've got to get hitched up together.
Johnny Dollar
No.
Carol Dalhart
At least. At least not right away. So if he thinks he can shotgun you and me and Durango, I know.
Durango Laramie Brown
He'D be coming back to you, Carol. So now we really celebrate.
Carol Dalhart
Durango. You crazy cow. Now, Durango, you stop that. You put down that gun and listen to me.
Durango Laramie Brown
Well, he's going to marry you, ain't he? Well, ain't he?
Johnny Dollar
No, Durango.
Durango Laramie Brown
No, no.
Johnny Dollar
At least. Well, not now. And in spite of the way you've chased me all the way across the country.
Carol Dalhart
Yes, Durango.
Durango Laramie Brown
Well, sure, I chased you, but not on account of Carol, Johnny. Well, sure, sure. I hope all the time. At some time you and her will get married up together.
Carol Dalhart
Well, Zan.
Durango Laramie Brown
But I give up trying to force you. Kids doing it, huh? Well, I just figure when you're ready, well, then you will.
Johnny Dollar
But going to Hartford and chasing me that way, eh?
Durango Laramie Brown
Oh, that.
Johnny Dollar
Yeah, that.
Durango Laramie Brown
Well, that wasn't nothing, Johnny. It's just that when you was out here last week and you kept my old pal Sidewinder Wilson from getting murdered. You know, Sidewinder's my oldest pal, Johnny. My best friend.
Carol Dalhart
Yeah, that's true, Johnny.
Durango Laramie Brown
And when you passed on the word that he was the one that found out about that killer. Well, Johnny. Well, you know, now he's the new chief of police down there at Fairweather.
Johnny Dollar
Yeah, well, bully for him. But I still don't see so you.
Durango Laramie Brown
You being so good to him, I. I just wanted you to know I appreciate it. So what I went to Hartford for was to give you this. Holy. Some of them's a bit dirty, crumpled up, and he got some. But when I counted right, it ought to be $10,000. There you are.
Carol Dalhart
Gee. Durango.
Johnny Dollar
Well, Durango, I. Well, I don't know what to say.
Durango Laramie Brown
You don't have to say nothing, Johnny. Just enjoy it. But are you sure you wouldn't like me to have the preacher come up from Enid and. No, I guess not. But God bless you anyhow. Boy.
Johnny Dollar
This time I did stay over for a couple of days. Yeah. And if I ever do take the leap, the expense of God. Well, George, I'll still argue with you about it, but that's all. And the total, $1,053.45. Yours truly, Johnny Dollar.
George Reed
Here's our star to tell you about next week's story.
Johnny Dollar
Next week, a string of holdups. And behind them all is. Well, why don't you listen? Find out for yourself. Join us, won't you? Yours truly, Johnny Dollar.
George Reed
Yours, Shawnee Dollar, starring Bob Bailey, originates in Hollywood and is written, produced and directed by Jack Johnstone. Heard in our cast were Virginia Gregg, Gene Tatum, John McIntyre and G. Stanley Jones.
Johnny Dollar
Be sure to join us next week.
George Reed
Same time and station for another exciting story of yours truly, Johnny Dollar. This is Dan Cubberley speaking.
Johnny Dollar
See how he runs on SUSP on the CBS Radio Network.
Podcast: Choice Classic Radio Detectives | Old Time Radio
Episode: Yours Truly, Johnny Dollar: The Cautious Celibate Matter (04/19/1959)
Date: October 6, 2025
In this lively episode of “Yours Truly, Johnny Dollar,” Johnny finds himself at the center of a comedic chase—hounded across the country by the eccentric Durango Laramie Brown. The pretext? Durango is determined to see Johnny wed his beautiful niece, Carol Dalhart, and will stop at nothing to make it happen. The case rapidly devolves into a zany game of cat and mouse touching on themes of love, reluctant bachelorhood, and gratitude, peppered with sharp-witted banter and a satirical take on Western manners.
| Timestamp | Segment | |---------------|-----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 01:02–01:44 | Johnny’s initial call and office visit with George | | 04:04–06:20 | Discussion of Carol, Johnny’s bachelorhood, and George’s matchmaking | | 07:15–07:40 | Durango bursts in; Johnny escapes down the fire escape | | 08:55–09:54 | Johnny’s call with George about Durango and further escape plans | | 13:33–14:17 | Durango catches up with Johnny in LA; Johnny escapes again | | 15:17–16:11 | Chase continues to Portland, Johnny charters another plane | | 16:11–17:32 | Arrival at Carol’s ranch, discussion about forced marriage | | 17:32–19:16 | Durango’s true motive and reconciliation | | 19:16–19:49 | Presentation of the $10,000 reward to Johnny |
The episode blends suspenseful adventure and romantic comedy, all framed with Johnny Dollar’s signature sardonic wit. The exchanges are sharp, playful, and filled with Western color—a testament to the tongue-in-cheek homage to the Golden Age of Radio.
For fans and newcomers alike, “The Cautious Celibate Matter” is a spirited romp, blending detective antics with slapstick pursuit and an unexpected lesson in letting love take its own course.