EP 1 - The Handyman of West Texas

Summary

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Podcast Summary: Johnathan Walton Media

EP 1 – The Handyman of West Texas

Release Date: January 20, 2026
Host: Johnathan Walton

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Overview

The inaugural episode of "The Handyman of West Texas" introduces listeners to Mickey, an unassuming handyman in Midland, Texas, with a sensational double life. Through candid storytelling, the episode explores Mickey’s journey from a devout Catholic upbringing in Los Angeles to becoming one of West Texas’s most sought-after “handymen” — not just for his fix-it skills, but for the discreet, intimate services he provides to the lonely, wealthy housewives of an oil-fueled boomtown. The conversation is frank, humorous, sometimes graphic, and always deeply human, exploring themes of loneliness, desire, secrecy, and the odd economics of fracking country.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Setting the Scene: Life in Midland, Texas

• Midland as an Oil Boomtown:
  • Dominated by the fracking industry; described as a desert town where oil, and the money it brings, is central to everything.
  • “It’s a boom town when things are great, and it’s a ghost town when it’s not.” (Mickey, 06:32)
  • Median incomes are surprisingly high ($80-90k), attracting all types of workers for lucrative if hard and transient jobs.
• A Land of Opportunity & Isolation:
  • Anyone willing to work can make it; college degrees aren’t required (Jonathan Walton, 09:05).
  • The region is deeply conservative and embedded in the Bible Belt, with strict rules around alcohol and religion — dry counties and Sunday church laws (Mickey, 15:28).
  • There is almost no visible homelessness, explained dubiously as a “get it done, Rambo type environment” where the unwanted are simply “beaten and dragged away to another town” (Mickey, 13:18).

2. Mickey’s Background: From LA to West Texas

• Origins:
  • Raised in LA, strict Catholic background, sheltered from much of the world — and his own body (Jonathan Walton, 02:20; 17:02).
• How He Arrived in Texas:
  • Married at 23, moved to Texas for work and family, spent 20 years living a conservative life as an oil worker before divorce (Mickey, 04:05).
  • After divorce, Mickey settled in Midland, immersing himself in both the oilfields and a new trade as a handyman.

3. Becoming “The Handyman”

• From Job to Calling:
  • Mickey begins offering handyman services via Craigslist during downtime from his oil job, mainly out of boredom (Mickey, 24:41; Jonathan Walton, 25:42).
  • His ad was innocently written, but now sees the unintended innuendo: "Do you have a honeydew list that hasn't been touched? I'm your man." (26:01)
  • Included a picture of himself — “rugged, good-looking, part bouncer, part rugged police officer," making the ad eye-catching for the lonely wives of Midland (Jonathan Walton, 02:20).
• Immediate Unintended Consequences:
  • The first response to his ad turns sexual — "It was the very first one." (Mickey, 28:12)
  • Mickey becomes the confidant and lover of many “neglected” wealthy housewives whose husbands are away working in the oil fields (Mickey, 27:09).

4. Double Lives & Social Facades

• The Clients:
  • Many of the women seeking his services are pillars of the conservative local community — one was a deacon in her church (Jonathan Walton, 01:34; 32:38).
  • The routines of Midland — prominent but lonely women, million-dollar mansions in barren desert, strict moral codes, but a parallel clandestine world of desire.
• Secrecy & Danger:
  • The threat of discovery is real and dangerous: “I was thinking, oh God, you know, Billy Bob could come home anytime and, you know, murder us both.” (Mickey, 00:31; Jonathan Walton, 00:53)
  • Reference to the prevalence of guns and a shoot-first attitude (Mickey, 00:48).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “We’re both spent. We’re sweaty, it's hot. We’re laying there together, side by side, naked on her rug in the living room.”
  — Mickey (00:21)

• “Hundreds of women have paid you under the guise of coming over, being a handyman, and then they’re really paying you for sex?”
  — Interviewer (01:06)

  Mickey: "Yes."
  Interviewer: "Hundreds. In Midland, Texas?"
  Mickey: "Yes."
  Interviewer: “The older I get, the more I realize nothing is what it appears to be.”
  Mickey: "Not in the least." (01:24)

• On his Catholic upbringing and self-realization:
  Mickey: “I have eight and a half thick inches and I always please… don’t forget the thick, because that makes a big difference.” (17:20)

• On fracking:
  Mickey: “We're raping Mother Earth every day. Wow. Yeah, that's... there's no other way to look at it because that's what we're doing.” (09:46)

• On the façade of Midland:
  Mickey: “Midland, Texas is as far away from any of that as you can imagine. So you can see, stand in one place, do a whole 360 and you're looking at desert. There is nothing out there.” (13:59)

• On the town’s moral code:
  Interviewer: "What about the whole he turned water into wine thing?"
  Mickey: “Apparently not in Texas.” (16:18)

• First “handyman” experience:
  Mickey: “I turned around to look at her, and she immediately leans in and starts kissing me.” (32:05)
  Mickey: "She just eyes wide open kind of deal. She's like, 'Oh, you're at least twice as big as my husband.'" (32:24)

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Important Timestamps

• Midland’s gun culture/dangerous liaison: 00:21–00:53
• Revealing the handyman’s double life: 01:06–01:24
• Mickey’s background & move to Midland: 04:05–05:31
• Fracking and the oil money culture: 06:32–09:42
• Midland’s conservative/bizarre alcohol laws: 15:28–16:18
• Mickey’s Catholic upbringing & late realization: 17:02–22:08
• First Craigslist handyman ad and sexual encounter: 24:41–32:31
• Client revealed as a church deacon: 32:38

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Tone & Style

• Candid, at times raw, always engaging.
• Blunt but wry humor, especially regarding sex, religion, and small-town secrecy.
• Mickey’s voice is self-effacing and genuine; Walton’s narration is lively and dramatic, with pop culture flourishes (e.g., “Landman,” “Beverly Hillbillies”).
• The episode balances graphic confessions with sharp sociological observation and empathy for the hidden lives behind small-town facades.

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Episode Conclusion

The episode ends on a cliffhanger — with “things get graphic” — as Mickey recounts just how quickly word spread about his additional, unadvertised talents among the wealthy, wife-rich, husband-absent community of Midland. This real-life, R-rated “Desperate Housewives” of the oil patch promises to explore the collision of morality, loneliness, and clandestine desire in the heart of Texas.

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Next episode tease:
Mickey dives into more explicit encounters—and how his unique “assets” and handyman advertisements upend the secret sexual lives of West Texas’s elite.

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End of summary.

Transcript

[Mickey]

We're both spent. We're sweaty, it's hot. We're laying there together, side by side, naked on her rug in the living room.

[Interviewer]

Are you worried her husband might come home?

[Mickey]

Not until we rolled over spent did that thought even cross my mind. And then I was thinking, oh, God, you know, Billy Bob, come home anytime and, you know, murder us both.

[Interviewer]

That's how they handle things in Midland, Texas.

[Mickey]

Everyone has guns.

[Interviewer]

Yeah.

[Jonathan Walton]

And for any prolific sex worker in West Texas whose clientele is predominantly wealthy housewives, getting shot on the job is a real concern.

[Interviewer]

Hundreds of women have paid you under the guise of coming over, being a handyman, and then they're really paying you for sex?

[Mickey]

Yes.

[Interviewer]

Hundreds. In Midland, Texas?

[Mickey]

Yes.

[Interviewer]

The older I get, the more I realize nothing is what it appears to be.

[Mickey]

Not in the least.

[Jonathan Walton]

I'm Jonathan Walton, and this is the Handyman of West Texas. Episode one. She was a deacon in her church.

[Interviewer]

Yeah, you're fine.

[Mickey]

Okay.

[Interviewer]

They're very sensitive, but, you know, closer the better, obviously. Okay.

[Mickey]

All right.

[Interviewer]

Excited on everything. Sounds good. How would you introduce yourself? And I know we're. I know we're trying to keep you anonymous, and we're trying to. We're protecting your identity, but what. What name do you go by?

[Mickey]

I always go by Mickey.

[Interviewer]

Mickey? Like Mickey Mouse?

[Mickey]

Yeah, just like that.

[Jonathan Walton]

Mickey stands about 6ft tall, confident, lean, fit. He looks like a man's man. Someone you want to call when there's a problem. Part bouncer, part rugged police officer.

[Interviewer]

All right, Mickey, so introduce yourself to people. If you're just meeting someone for the first time, introduce yourself and tell me what you do.

[Mickey]

Oh, my name's Mickey, and I'm a kind of jack of all trades. And whatever you need done, you know, in and out of your house, I'm pretty sure I could do it.

[Interviewer]

And never has that sentence meant more than coming from your mouth. Whatever you need done, I kind of.

[Mickey]

Leave it open ended just for that reason.

[Interviewer]

For lack of a better term, you're a handyman. You know how to fix things around the house. Like, what kinds of jobs do you do?

[Mickey]

I could do flooring. I could do drywall. I could do electrical. I could do plumbing. I can do framing. I can do roofing. I can do exterior landscaping, fence building, rock wall, sheetrock, just about anything. If you have a home that you don't like, I can rip it apart from the ground up and rebuild it to your needs.

[Jonathan Walton]

But Mickey isn't from Texas. He's actually born a thousand miles west of Midland in Los Angeles. In the late 1970s. And he lives in the City of Angels until his early 20s before heading east.

[Mickey]

23. And then I got married, moved to Texas. Was conservative, faithful, you know, father and husband and going to work, coming home, you know, nine to five kind of thing.

[Jonathan Walton]

But after 20 years, Mickey and his wife go their separate ways and get divorced and he rents his own place in Midland and throws himself into his work. Mickey is an oil guy, a fracker.

[Mickey]

So the job basically is hooking up tons of iron and equipment. High pressure water induced pumps. And why they call it fracking is because we're fracturing the earth. They drill down about three miles into the earth and we pump millions and millions of gallons of water under high pressure with sand and force the earth to fracture. And we fill it with sand and crack it as far as we can go. And then once we're done, we pump out the water, oil comes out behind it. Wow. We are now the number one producer of oil in the world. More than Saudi Arabia, more than Russia, more than anyone. And 75% of it is done right there in the Midland, Texas area, which is surprising.

[Jonathan Walton]

Yeah. And it recently it got my attention.

[Interviewer]

With that hit show Landman with Billy Bob. Billy Bob Thornton, John Hamm. It's set in the. In Midland area in the oil industry.

[Billy Bob Thornton (referenced character)]

Oil and gas industry. Makes $3 billion a day in pure profit. That's the scale, that's the size of this thing and it's only getting bigger.

[Mickey]

Yeah, that's exactly the life I was living. Those are the kind of guys that I work around. And that's exactly. It's pretty accurate assessment of what life out there in Midland, Texas is.

[Interviewer]

Landman. Such an amazing show.

[Mickey]

And it's pretty close to really. That's life in Midland. We live.

[Jonathan Walton]

It's a part of Texas where West Texas where black gold reigns supreme. Where pistoning oil derricks pumping up Texas tea from the depths are everywhere you look and millionaire mercenaries lined up by the thousands are cashing in left and right.

[Mickey]

It's a boom town when things are great and it's a ghost town when it's not. Because the price of oil goes down, then we can't afford to do what we do, really. But when the price of oil is anywhere over $60 a barrel, which I think right now it's maybe 85, they're making millions every single minute that we pump.

[Interviewer]

So it's almost like it sounds like fracking is like squeezing all the oil out of the sand and rock.

[Mickey]

That's basically what it is. It's trapped.

[Interviewer]

It's trapped in the sand and rock.

[Mickey]

Yeah. Back in the old days, you would drill a hole and, you know, hope for the best, that where you were drilling, there was oil underneath there. You poke the hole. Once you hit oil, it starts coming out. It's not that way at all with fracturing. We know it's under there, but we have to force it out.

[Interviewer]

It reminds me of that opening scene in the Beverly Hillbillies, you know, where he's shooting for food and then he shoots into the ground and then oil just starts bubbling up. Well, first thing you know, old Jed's a millionaire. The kin folks said, jed, move away from there. Said, California is a place you ought to be. So they loaded up the truck and the.

[Mickey]

Of the Beverly Hills, that is swimming.

[Interviewer]

Pools, movie stars, the Beverly Hillbilly. God, that's burned into my head from. From childhood.

[Mickey]

Yeah.

[Interviewer]

Did you watch that show? I did the Beverly Hillbillies. So that's how oil was so easily accessible back in the day. It would just come up out of the ground. Yeah, but not anymore.

[Mickey]

First of all, all the areas where that type of oil is, you know, accessible is already bought by all the Chevrons and all the big companies of.

[Interviewer]

The world and they've sucked it out.

[Mickey]

They've. Well, they've not so much sucked it out as they've laid claim to the land. Right. So they decide, you know, ah, we need a little bit more. Let's go poke a hole over here. Poke a hole there.

[Interviewer]

Yeah.

[Mickey]

And in the Midland area, the Permian Basin, that area is still very much wide open. There's still land to buy, but it went from maybe $500 an acre to $10,000 an acre. Just because they know what's underneath the ground now.

[Interviewer]

Yeah, they can squeeze the oil out.

[Mickey]

Of the sand, squeeze as much as they can. Three miles is pretty deep. Yeah. And they're drilling three miles deep. And it's horizontal drilling. So it's not down anymore. It's down and then it starts curving. Makes that like a 90 degree angle.

[Interviewer]

Wow.

[Mickey]

Three miles under the earth. So technology's come a long way.

[Jonathan Walton]

Fracking in Midland, Texas, is like what casinos are in Las Vegas, Nevada, or what Disney World is in Orlando, Florida. It's the reason people go. And it's the land of opportunity. Come as you are. You don't need a college degree or even a high school diploma. You just need to be willing and able.

[Mickey]

The median income of this desert town is 80 or $90,000.

[Interviewer]

Wow.

[Mickey]

Because you can get A kid off the street who's never worked a day in his life in the oil field and you're starting at 65,000.

[Jonathan Walton]

Wow.

[Interviewer]

Yeah, that's attractive.

[Mickey]

Yeah.

[Interviewer]

And I know there's a lot of controversy with fracking. It pollutes the groundwater.

[Mickey]

We're raping Mother Earth every day. Wow. Yeah, that's. There's no other way to look at it because that's what we're doing. You can have every car in America. Electric car. You're still going to need petroleum products. Everything is made from oil.

[Interviewer]

Everything plastic.

[Mickey]

Everything plastic. Guess what? We live in a plastic world.

[Interviewer]

We do live in a plastic world. So I live in la. Probably the most plastic of them all.

[Mickey]

Plasticky as you can get.

[Jonathan Walton]

But Midland, Texas is the polar opposite of Los Angeles, California in every conceivable way.

[Mickey]

There are no homeless people in Midland, Texas.

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[Mickey]

What do you have to lose?

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[Interviewer]

That's interesting. So is it that Midland has solved homelessness or is it just too damn hot?

[Mickey]

No, it's the absence of protective flaws, I guess. Governance.

[Jonathan Walton]

What are you implying?

[Interviewer]

Would homeless people get shot and eaten?

[Mickey]

They would get beaten and dragged away to another town because yeah, they don't want people lying around banging on the corners or you know, occupying the sides of their freeways. In Midland they figured it out. They figured it out.

[Interviewer]

And it's not a friendly figure out.

[Mickey]

No, it's the suspension of law and order and you know, just get it done kind of Rambo type minute. Can I get something to eat, man? This time you can.

[Interviewer]

How would you describe Midland for people who don't know that part of Texas? I mean people know Dallas, people know Houston, people know Austin. Keep Austin weird. It's where all the music festivals in south by Southwest.

[Jonathan Walton]

But Midland, Texas, what's. What's that like?

[Mickey]

Midland, Texas is as far away from any of that as you can imagine. So you can see, stand in one place, doesn't matter where you're at in town. Do a whole 360 and you're looking at desert. There is nothing out there. This is an oil town. Oil industry, I would say 80% of the population has some kind of job in and around the oil field. There's nothing in Midland. You know, you had to visit for whatever reason you were punished. The biggest thing to see is like the house that George W. Grew up in growing up with mother and dad was. Was an interesting experience. They made a little kind of museum out of it. Regular, you know, two, two bedroom, one bath house in the middle of town. And that's about it.

[Interviewer]

So that's the draw of Midland?

[Mickey]

Yes. Well, it's not a draw, but it's something to do while you're there. And the stadium where they did Friday Night Lights, We've got Texas high school football at its finest.

[Interviewer]

No doubt it's grabbing. Yes.

[Mickey]

This is going to be an all out.

[Interviewer]

And what brought you to Midland?

[Mickey]

Hydraulic fracturing boom was in the Midland area in the Permian Basin. And there's apparently billions of billions of dollars worth of oil underneath Midland area. And I got a job there. That's how I discovered that Midland existed.

[Interviewer]

How would you describe the culture of Midland, Texas?

[Mickey]

It's right in the center of the Texas Bible belt. You know, there's actually some counties around us that won't sell alcohol.

[Jonathan Walton]

Really?

[Mickey]

Yeah.

[Jonathan Walton]

Like you can't get alcohol anywhere.

[Mickey]

Anywhere. There are no bars called dry counties. And you drive through them and there's. They won't sell them in. Not at seven liquor stores.

[Interviewer]

No supermarket alcohol.

[Mickey]

Nope. Nothing. You cannot. And it's illegal. If you bring alcohol into a dry county, you can get arrested.

[Jonathan Walton]

Oh my God.

[Mickey]

And then they have some crazy laws. When I first moved there, I didn't understand it. On Sundays they don't sell alcohol. You can buy beer, but not alcohol for some reason. And you can't buy it before noon because you have to wait until church is over. It's. It's an actual law all throughout Texas.

[Interviewer]

You can't drink until noon on a Sunday.

[Mickey]

On a Sunday after church. And only beer for some reason.

[Interviewer]

What about the whole he turned water into wine thing?

[Mickey]

Apparently not in Texas.

[Interviewer]

So everyone goes to church in Midland, Texas?

[Mickey]

As far as I know, yeah.

[Jonathan Walton]

Are there a lot of churches?

[Mickey]

There's churches everywhere. It be Presbyterian, Methodist, Catholic.

[Interviewer]

What are you?

[Mickey]

None of the above? Technically, I guess I'm Catholic, but yeah, I haven't gone to church in decades.

[Interviewer]

You grew up Catholic?

[Mickey]

Catholic school for 12 years.

[Interviewer]

And that turned you off of Catholicism?

[Mickey]

Completely. Well organized religion in general.

[Jonathan Walton]

Mickey is raised in a devout Catholic household. His teachers at school are nuns and priests. He grows up very sheltered and he actually has no idea that he's well hungry. Like really, really well hung.

[Mickey]

I have eight and a half thick inches and I always please eight and a half inches. Eight and a half and thick. Don't forget the thick because that makes a big difference.

[Jonathan Walton]

Wow.

[Interviewer]

I mean, that's impressive.

[Jonathan Walton]

How do you go your whole life.

[Interviewer]

And not know you're. You have a huge thing down there.

[Mickey]

You know, it's. It's. It's my only point of reference, you know, up to that point was pornos. I have something for you right here. Wow. You know, and as far as I knew, you know, I look like all the guys in the pornos, so I thought.

[Interviewer]

So you thought that's normal.

[Mickey]

Yeah, I mean, like I said, no other point of reference.

[Interviewer]

So growing up, you weren't in, like, changing rooms with other boys or other men, and no one would say, hey, you're Catholic school.

[Mickey]

Ah, they didn't do. They didn't do. The shower room kind of did deal.

[Interviewer]

It was, you know, everyone's ashamed, everyone's.

[Mickey]

Covered up, everyone's hiding. You have your own little stalls and kind of deal. And there's no group showers or. Yeah, I had no. Nothing to compare it to except, you know, what I saw, which, yeah, all those guys are the same size as me, but.

[Jonathan Walton]

But those guys are huge.

[Mickey]

I didn't know that. I thought, hey, all right. I'm like, those guys. I'm good.

[Interviewer]

Wow.

[Mickey]

You know.

[Interviewer]

And you're married for 20 years to the same woman, so.

[Jonathan Walton]

Does she ever tell you, oh, my God, you're hurting me.

[Interviewer]

This is huge, or.

[Mickey]

Yeah, at first. And, you know, I thought, you know, that's normal. I had. I had, you know, kind of a repressed Catholic upbringing where you don't talk about sex, you don't talk about, you know, those kind of things. So I was like, okay, well, I guess sex at first is supposed to hurt the woman, and they get used to it. Yeah, it was. It was a terrible misconception that I just, you know, worked through until after I got divorced and I started getting more and more kind of an inkling into, hey, maybe I'm not just like everybody else. Because I would hear comments, man, you're the biggest I've ever had. You're so huge. You're this and that.

[Interviewer]

I think if you were a kid growing up in a regular environment outside of a Catholic school, like a regular school where all the boys are changing in front of each other, I think you would have been a spectacle, because in these types of situations, the big guys are like, oh, my God, look at, you know, everyone's got a nickname, like, you know, aardvark or elephant. Elephant trunk. Or, you know, like, kids give each other nicknames based on, you know, anatomy. Like, my buddy Evan went to school with a Guy who had a huge dick everyone saw in the locker room and they called him the Serpent cuz.

[Jonathan Walton]

It was so big.

[Interviewer]

And I think that would have happened to you, but you went to Catholic school. Everyone changed in secret. There were no public showers where you saw other boys. So you had this giant tool down there and you didn't know it was giant. And your only comparison is pornos and all the guys look like you in the porno. So you think, oh, I'm normal.

[Mickey]

Exactly.

[Interviewer]

So the wedding night with your wife, did you just like tear it up?

[Jonathan Walton]

Did she just.

[Interviewer]

Did she call a doctor the next day?

[Mickey]

Like, yeah. The first time was, I guess, you know, hard for her. It was great for me. And I, I didn't realize, you know, we had to take a break for like a week. And again I was like, you know, this, this is normal. As far as, you know, as far as I knew, I had been with several women before I got married. But again, I was really young and I attributed to, you know, everyone giving, oh, you're the most beautiful. Yeah, right.

[Interviewer]

They're just being nice.

[Mickey]

Exactly.

[Interviewer]

It's like you would say to the girl, oh, you're so beautiful. Really, you just want something nice to say.

[Mickey]

Exactly.

[Interviewer]

She's not ugly, but you're just harping on something to have something nice to say.

[Mickey]

And I thought they were just reiterating the same thing back to me. So.

[Interviewer]

Being polite.

[Mickey]

Exactly.

[Interviewer]

So you have this, for lack of a better term, this asset your entire life and you don't realize it. How old were you when you realized that 8.5 inches is way above the standard equipment issued to most men?

[Mickey]

I was in my mid-40s.

[Interviewer]

You're in your mid-40s before I realized, yeah. Oh my God, yeah.

[Mickey]

After I got divorced.

[Interviewer]

And what are you now, 49? I'm 49 now, so just a few years ago.

[Mickey]

Yeah, I'm about to be 50 next month. And yeah, mid-40s before I realized that I was a lot bigger than the average guy. I learned over time that the average, you know, penis size anywhere from four to five inches. And I was eight and a half and quite thick.

[Interviewer]

And what's fascinating to me is the moment you realize you're a lot bigger than the average guy is the same exact moment you realize when people call a handyman. Some have other ideas in mind.

[Mickey]

Yeah, again, I guess I was living a sheltered life or just didn't realize that this lifestyle existed. I was sheltered from. From the reality that was out there. And the first time that I was called to you know, I thought a little legitimate handyman job and it turned sexual. Did I realize, hey, this, this exists different realm of what my existence had been until that point was out there, especially in a town like Midland.

[Jonathan Walton]

That's what blows my mind, man.

[Mickey]

Midland, Midland, Texas. Middle of the Bible belt. Yeah.

[Jonathan Walton]

This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. You chose to hit play on this podcast today. Smart choice. Make another smart choice with Auto Quote Explorer to compare rates from multiple car insurance companies all at once. Try [e-mail] Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates not available in all states or situations. Prices vary based on how you buy. The other thing about Midland, Texas is a lot of people work there, but not a lot of people live there. The city's population is just over 140,000.

[Mickey]

No one lives in Midlands. Like I said, there's nothing there. So every single oil field worker basically commutes for wherever their home base is. Houston, Dallas, Albuquerque. Mine was Albuquerque. So I lived in Albuquerque. I would drive to Midland, stay there for the two weeks that I would be working, and then come back for a week in Albuquerque, so on and so forth. But after I got divorced, I actually moved to Midland. Why do the commute when you're not.

[Interviewer]

Going home to a wife anymore?

[Mickey]

Exactly. And so for the last four years, I've been in Midland living.

[Interviewer]

How long were you in Midland when you put up that first handyman ad?

[Mickey]

Just a couple months. I had just got myself settled, got a place, and I was working and two days into it, I got bored. I was like, what am I going to do? I have a whole week to do nothing.

[Jonathan Walton]

So Mickey has a two week on, one week off work schedule. And it'd be different having a week off in Houston or Dallas or Austin or San Antonio or any other metropolitan area. But a week off with nothing to do in Midland, Texas, can drive a person mad. So Mickey, who's always been a man who can build and or fix anything and everything under the sun, decides to look for work as a handyman during his week off to make some extra money and to fight the boredom and monotony of Midland.

[Mickey]

I was like, well, you know, put an ad out in Craigslist. I could help you, you know, with stuff around your house. And didn't take very long before I got my first contact.

[Interviewer]

When you put your first handyman ad out on Craigslist in Midland, Texas, it was just a regular. You need a handyman. I can come fix things. Like, there was no innuendo. It was a straight handyman, unbeknownst to.

[Mickey]

Me, there was innuendo there.

[Interviewer]

So you didn't mean to have innuendo?

[Mickey]

I didn't mean to do it.

[Interviewer]

As much as you can recall. What did that first ad say?

[Mickey]

The first ad was kind of along the lines of, you know, I'm a jack of all trades, Handyman. I'm available 24 hours a day for the next week to do all the things at your home that have been neglected. Do you have a honeydew list that hasn't been touched? I'm your man.

[Interviewer]

I mean, even using the word touched, like that's. Exactly.

[Mickey]

And like I said, looking back at it, there's, there's. Yeah, I didn't realize how suggestive I was being and I thought it was covering my base to, you know, come fix things. Exactly.

[Jonathan Walton]

And here's the thing. There are more than 15,000 millionaires working in the Permian basin alone. Most of them are men clocking in hundred hour work weeks, leaving their rich wives home alone to raise the kids and decorate the mansions and organize church fundraisers.

[Mickey]

There's plenty of lonely women whose husbands are away for long periods of time in the oil field that just feel neglected.

[Jonathan Walton]

And that feeling of neglect has a way of manifesting into something else entirely because a lot of these wealthy housewives in Midland, Texas are in their 40s and 50s, their kids are in college, their husbands are at work, and they have a lot of free time and money on their hands and not a whole lot to do with it. And that gives handyman Mickey a new and exciting opportunity he does not see coming.

[Mickey]

I had all my tools. I was ready to fix things, not knowing that I'd be helping them out in other ways.

[Interviewer]

So you put this ad out in Craigslist. It's your first time getting a job as a handyman. How many people call you to come over and fix something until they make a pass at you? Was it the first one?

[Mickey]

It was the very first one.

[Interviewer]

Oh my God.

[Mickey]

It was the day after I put the ad up and you know, again, not thinking I was being suggestive, I put a picture in the ad.

[Interviewer]

A picture of yourself?

[Mickey]

A picture of myself. Just so it would. It would. In my mind I was thinking, hey, I don't want you to have the worry that some anonymous person is coming over.

[Interviewer]

Right.

[Mickey]

This is what I look like. That was my reasoning behind right now.

[Interviewer]

It makes sense because now it's not a stranger, like, oh, I know what this guy looks like. And you're a rugged, good looking guy.

[Mickey]

And that's the Thing, it's oil flu. We're all kind of rough and tumble kind of guys. I'm not, I'm not polished. I don't go to work in a suit and tie kind of deal. So I wanted to put that out there. Not knowing that that coupled with the wording in the ad was going to, you know, have the effect that it had.

[Interviewer]

You put the ad up. A day later, a woman responds.

[Mickey]

She had wooden shutters in her back that needed to be repaired. And I said, yeah, I could definitely help you with that.

[Interviewer]

And what were you going to charge her?

[Mickey]

So I was Planning to do $100 an hour kind of charge based on, you know, what needed to be done, supplies, how long was. You know. But I always let them know ahead of time or that my plan in the head was to let them know, let me take a look at it and then I can give you an accurate price.

[Interviewer]

So you drive up to this house, describe what this house looks like as you're driving up.

[Mickey]

This house is massive. So it's crazy because again, there's nothing in Midland, Okay? This is desert, surrounded by desert. And so in the middle of this nothingness, this lady has, you know, one of these gaudy, huge mansions in the middle of the desert. You know, they have no grass, of course, because nothing will grow out there. But this, it's a two story wraparound with pillars in the front.

[Interviewer]

Pillars?

[Mickey]

Oh, yeah, it was like I said it was. It was gaudy to the point that, look, we have so much money, we don't know what to do.

[Interviewer]

We're going to put pillars.

[Mickey]

Yeah, we're going to, you know, we have fountains in the middle.

[Interviewer]

Fountains, yeah.

[Jonathan Walton]

Wow.

[Interviewer]

So she was rich?

[Mickey]

Oh, she was. She was very rich. And I'm thinking, you know, there's no way that there's shutters in the back of the its home, because this is million dollar home that probably was just built last week kind of deal.

[Interviewer]

And why would she be calling some handyman on Craigslist?

[Mickey]

Exactly. You know.

[Interviewer]

Now, was this woman married?

[Mickey]

She was married.

[Interviewer]

And was her husband there?

[Mickey]

No. She mentioned when we had set up the initial meeting that her husband was on a drilling rig right now.

[Interviewer]

Oh, so he works in the oil industry too?

[Mickey]

Everyone does.

[Interviewer]

But he has got a lot of money.

[Mickey]

He was one of the upper guys. He was. He was Billy Bob.

[Jonathan Walton]

We're referring to that Billy Bob Thornton character in the show, Landman, who oversees all the oil workers and oil executives and diffuses problems that pop up with rig explosions and land leases and angry Mexican drug cartels.

[Billy Bob Thornton (referenced character)]

We don't want your oil here. Well, wish in one hand, shit in the other, see which one fills up first.

[Jonathan Walton]

God, the writing on that show is just next level. Anyway, this wealthy woman who hires Mickey to come over to her Midland, Texas mansion to, quote, fix some shutters, is married to a Billy Bob type who leaves home for work early each morning and comes home from work late each night seven days a week. So when Mickey arrives at this wealthy housewife's home at around noon, she's alone. And come to find out she doesn't really want her shutters fixed.

[Mickey]

I turned around to look at her, and she immediately leans in and starts kissing me.

[Jonathan Walton]

She started kissing you?

[Mickey]

Like.

[Interviewer]

Like tongue in mouth.

[Mickey]

Tongue in mouth. Oh, my God.

[Jonathan Walton]

And keep in mind, this woman has no idea the gargantuan colossus Mickey is packing down below. But she's about to find out.

[Mickey]

And she just eyes wide open kind of deal. She's like, oh, you're at least twice as big as my husband.

[Jonathan Walton]

And this isn't just any random Midland, Texas housewife either. She's pretty prominent and well known.

[Mickey]

She was a deacon in our church.

[Jonathan Walton]

No. Oh, happy day oh, happy day oh, happy day oh, happy. Next time on the Handyman of West Texas, things get graphic.

[Mickey]

She's grabbing my when I'm on. On the floor and leap, kind of leveraging herself on top, kind of aiming herself so she could start straddling me. And she said, you gotta. You gotta give me a minute because I've never taken anyone as big as you before.

[Jonathan Walton]

But this housewife is extremely determined, and.

[Mickey]

Before long, she's riding me like a wild woman.

[Interviewer]

And did she have an orgasm?

[Mickey]

She had several.

[Jonathan Walton]

If you want to help me find my happy place, click that share button and send the Handyman of West Texas to that special someone in your life who'd appreciate it. Also, finger us a five star review on whatever platform you're getting this on. The Handyman of West Texas was created, written and hosted by me, Jonathan Walton. For Jonathan Walton Media executive producer, Evan Goldstein. All sound design and editing was done by Jimmy o'. Holigan. And we are just getting started with all the craziness Mickey the handyman has got. Got some tales to tell, so make sure you subscribe to Jonathan Walton Media and stay tuned. This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever find yourself playing the budgeting game? Well, with the name your price tool from Progressive, you can find options that fit your budget and potentially lower your bills. Try [e-mail] Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates Price and coverage match limited by state law. Not available in all states.