EP 2 - The Handyman of West Texas

Summary

Podcast Summary

Podcast: Johnathan Walton Media
Episode: EP 2 – The Handyman of West Texas
Date: February 3, 2026
Host: Johnathan Walton
Guest/Narrator: Mickey (The Handyman of West Texas)

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Overview of the Episode

Theme:
This episode dives deep into the notorious side hustle of Mickey, an oilfield worker-turned-handyman in Midland, Texas. What starts as a quest for honest work quickly transforms into a tale of secret liaisons, sexual adventures, and the underbelly of suburban affluence. The conversation is candid, humorous, and at times explicit, as Mickey describes “house calls” that go far beyond repairing shutters or fixing fences.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Mickey’s Beginnings as a Handyman

• Background: Recently divorced and working as a fracker, Mickey starts advertising himself as a “jack of all trades” and handyman, aiming to make extra money and stay productive during downtime.
• First Ad:
  • “Do you have a honeydew list that hasn’t been touched? I’m your man. I didn’t realize how suggestive I was being.” (Mickey, 02:25)

2. The First House Call – Not Just Shutters

• Arrival to the Mansion:
  • Mickey describes pulling up to a massive, isolated mansion with a six-car garage and opulent double doors in the punishing Texas summer heat.
  • “The mansions in Midland, Texas are large and ostentatious… His work truck parked in the driveway is a great cover.” (Jonathan, 04:02)
• Client’s Appearance & Vibe:
  • The housewife is attractive, well-groomed, in her 50s, wearing summery, revealing attire, sunglasses indoors, and sipping a drink as she greets Mickey.
  • “She’s attractive, blonde, probably about 5 foot, maybe 100 pounds… She was a good looking, attractive woman.” (Mickey, 06:47)

3. The Encounter Escalates

• Ambiguous Repairs:
  • She claims shutters need fixing, but it’s clear nothing is actually wrong.
• Alcohol & Signals:
  • She offers Mickey a drink (alcoholic), sits extremely close next to him on a large couch, and quickly initiates physical contact.
  • “At this point, the signs are all there. This woman clearly does not want her shutters fixed at all.” (Jonathan, 09:39)
  • “I didn’t even take a first drink. She’s like, ‘What do you think?’ and I turned around to look at her and she immediately leans in and starts kissing me.” (Mickey, 09:55)

4. Explicit Details of the Affair

• Physical Relationship:
  • The encounter rapidly becomes explicit, with both losing their clothes and having sex on the living room rug. The house is filled with family photos and pictures of her husband, making the situation extra taboo.
  • Notable moment about Mickey's physical attribute, which surprises both him and his client:
    • “She’s like, ‘Oh my God, I love your… it’s perfect. It looks like a dildo I’ve seen in ads…’” (Mickey, 15:58)
    • “You gotta give me a minute, because I’ve never taken anyone as big as you before. It’s like, you’re at least twice as big as my husband. … Coca Cola can thickness.” (Mickey, 17:28–18:23)
• Dynamics & Satisfaction:
  • The woman achieves multiple orgasms before Mickey does, flipping the typical narrative. Mickey reflects that with age and experience, he’s more interested in women’s satisfaction and doesn’t always need to orgasm himself.
    • “Some of my best experiences, I’ve never came. … I go away completely satisfied, even though I never orgasm.” (Mickey, 22:09–22:44)
  • “That’s a problem. That’s why guys really don’t have success... they have a lot of one night stands, but women are never going to call back…” (Mickey, 22:24–22:44)

5. The Risks and Afterthoughts

• Post-Encounter Tension:
  • Only after the fact does Mickey realize the risk of being caught in flagrante by the woman’s husband (or anyone else), noting the tough, gun-friendly culture of West Texas.
  • “You know, not until we rolled over spent did that thought even cross my mind. … Billy Bob could come home anytime and, you know, murder us both.” (Mickey, 28:05)
• Interracial Dynamic:
  • Awareness of social/racial dynamics in Midland: “You’re obviously married to a millionaire and this is Texas. You’re Anglo, I’m as Mexican as you can get. … I stand out over there.” (Mickey, 30:26–31:10)

6. Payment and Arrangements

• Unexpected Compensation:
  • The housewife thanks Mickey after their tryst and hands him $200—without having received any actual handyman services.
  • “She pulls out a couple hundred dollars… She’s like, you can come over anytime. … $200 for nothing other than the time that we spent on the floor naked because I didn’t do any work.” (Mickey, 31:40–32:29)

7. A Lucrative Side Hustle

• Repeat Appointments:
  • The affair becomes ongoing, with the woman calling Mickey back many times (20+, upwards of 40), always paying $200 per visit.
    • “More than a dozen?” (Jonathan, 32:57)
    • “Oh, yeah.” (Mickey, 32:59)
    • “More than 20, probably.” (Jonathan, 33:00)
    • “Yeah. Upwards of that.” (Mickey, 33:03–33:05)
• Church Connection:
  • Woman and husband are both deacons at the local church. Most trysts scheduled while the family is at church, exploiting the social rhythm of Midland’s religious culture.
    • “Her and her husband, both deacons at the local church.” (Mickey, 34:04)

8. Revelation and Expansion

• Word Gets Around:

  • Realizing the demand, Mickey discovers he’s not the only one providing these “services”—word of his prowess spreads, and up to 75% of his handyman calls end up being sexual encounters.
    • “75%.” (Mickey, 35:32)

• Preview for Next Episode:

  • Teases Mickey’s growing catalog of, and encounters involving, pictures and videos for his clients.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “[She] immediately leans in and starts kissing me.” – Mickey (09:55)
• “She was a deacon in our church.” – Mickey (03:16)
• “Coca Cola can thickness.” – Mickey (18:23)
• “Some of my best experiences, I’ve never came. … I go away completely satisfied, even though I never orgasm.” – Mickey (22:09 – 22:44)
• “She hands me $200 for nothing other than the time we spent on the floor naked.” – Mickey (32:29)
• “Out of all the calls you get for handyman work, how many end up in sex?” – Jonathan
  “75%.” – Mickey (35:32)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 02:08 – 03:16: Recap of Mickey’s entry into handyman work and suggestive ads.
• 04:02 – 06:47: Description of mansion, housewife, and setting of first encounter.
• 09:39 – 10:18: The first advance – from ‘repair’ to sexual proposition.
• 15:19 – 16:53: Details of the sexual encounter, surprise at Mickey’s “attributes.”
• 18:23 – 21:33: Explicit descriptions, discussion of satisfaction dynamics.
• 28:05 – 31:10: Risks, racial/social dynamics, post-coital reflection.
• 31:40 – 32:29: Payment for the encounter, transition to ongoing arrangement.
• 32:55 – 34:00: Frequency and payment for repeat visits.
• 35:22 – 35:36: Mickey reveals 75% of his ‘jobs’ ended up in sex.

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Tone & Style Notes

The episode features a frank, comedic, and often explicit dialogue. Jonathan Walton keeps the conversation buoyant with quips and incredulity, while Mickey is relaxed, direct, and unembarrassed recounting his sexual exploits and newfound side business. The tone is confessional, at times self-deprecating, but mostly candid and unfiltered.

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Closing Thoughts

Episode 2 of The Handyman of West Texas uncovers not just the lascivious underbelly of suburban Texas, but also shines a light on loneliness, social masks, and the transactional nature of both money and intimacy. With Mickey’s story set to expand in future episodes, this chapter mixes humor, adventure, sexual candor, and a Texan sensibility that keeps listeners hooked.

For those who want a punchy, true-story podcast with outrageous characters and an unapologetic approach to storytelling, this episode delivers in spades.

Transcript

[Jonathan Walton]

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[Mickey]

We're lost. I'm going to pull over and ask.

[Jonathan Walton]

That man for directions. Hi there.

[Mickey]

We're looking to get to the campground.

[Jonathan Walton]

Well, you're going to take a left.

[Mickey]

At the old oak tree end of this here road. No, I'm just kidding.

[Jonathan Walton]

Let me get my phone out.

[Mickey]

How are you getting a signal out here?

[Jonathan Walton]

T Mobile and US Cellular decided to merge. So the network out here is huge.

[Mickey]

We're getting the same great signal as.

[Jonathan Walton]

The city and saving a boatload with all the benefits. Oh, and a five year price guarantee. Okay, here's those directions.

[Mickey]

Actually, can you point us in the direction of a T Mobile store? America's best network just got bigger.

[Jonathan Walton]

Switch to T Mobile today and get.

[Mickey]

Built in benefits the other guys leave out. Plus our five year price guarantee. And now T Mobile is available in US Cellular stores. Best mobile network based on analysis by Ookle of Speedtest Intelligence data 2H2025 bigger network. The combination of T Mobile's and US Cellular's network footprints will enhance the T mobile network's coverage price guarantee on talk text and data.

[Jonathan Walton]

Excl like taxes and fees apply.

[Mickey]

See t mobile.com for details.

[Jonathan Walton]

Wasn't that delicious?

[Mickey]

So good. Your bill, ladies.

[Jonathan Walton]

I got it.

[Mickey]

No, I got it. Seriously, I insist.

[Jonathan Walton]

I insisted first.

[Mickey]

Don't be silly. You don't be silly. People with the Wells Fargo active cash credit card prefer to pay because they.

[Jonathan Walton]

Earn unlimited 2% cash rewards on purchases. Okay. Rock, paper, scissors for it.

[Mickey]

Rock, paper, scissors. Shoot.

[Jonathan Walton]

No. The Wells Fargo active cash credit card. Visit Wells Fargo.com ActiveCash Terms apply. Previously on the Handyman of West Texas. You're a rugged, good looking guy.

[Mickey]

And that's the thing. It's oilfield. We're all kind of rough and tumble kind of guys. I'm not. I'm not polished. I don't go to work in a suit and tie kind of deal.

[Jonathan Walton]

And Mickey, this recently divorced oil field fracker, starts looking for work as a handyman to make some extra money and to have something productive to do on his time off.

[Mickey]

The first ad was kind of along the lines of, you know, I'm a jack of all trades. Handyman. I'm available 24 hours a day. For the next week to do all the things at your home that have been neglected. Do you have a honeydew list that hasn't been touched? I'm your man. I didn't realize how suggestive I was being.

[Jonathan Walton]

And on Mickey's first handyman house call, he quickly realizes this job is going to require one very special tool that he keeps in his pants.

[Mickey]

She's like, what do you think? And I turned around to look at her and she immediately leans in and starts kissing me.

[Jonathan Walton]

She started kissing you? Like, like tongue in mouth.

[Mickey]

Tongue in mouth.

[Jonathan Walton]

Oh my God. And this amorous housewife is pretty well known in Midland.

[Mickey]

She was, she was a deacon in our church.

[Jonathan Walton]

No, I'm Jonathan Walton and this is the handyman of west Texas. Episode 2 Coca Cola can Thickness. So you're rolling up on this mansion in the middle of the desert and what are you thinking?

[Mickey]

I'm thinking, you know, I'm going to be able to charge a fair amount and she's not going to even blink at it.

[Jonathan Walton]

The mansions in Midland, Texas are large and ostentatious. They're also spread out with each one sitting on acres of shrubless, brown, arid land. So nosy neighbors in lookyloos are hard pressed to figure out what exactly Mickey is doing there. His work truck parked in the driveway is a great cover. And that housewife, a woman named is about to open the front door. What kind of car does he have?

[Mickey]

I don't know what kind of car had. I never saw.

[Jonathan Walton]

It was like in a garage, I imagine.

[Mickey]

Yeah, in her six car garage.

[Jonathan Walton]

She had a six car garage.

[Mickey]

Thing was huge.

[Jonathan Walton]

Jesus. In Midland, Texas, six cars. Also, it's summer now and the Texas heat is punishing.

[Mickey]

I made the mistake of starting in mid July in Texas. That was awful. Yeah.

[Jonathan Walton]

What was the highest? 100, 140015 degrees. Easily. Because what's interesting about Texas, if people have never been during the summer, even when the wind blows, it's a hot wind. You feel like a oven hitting your face with wind. Yeah, it's bizarre. It's not like in California or even Florida where there's like a nice breeze and ah, that's cooling. In Texas it's like a hot wind.

[Mickey]

Yeah, it makes it worse. You can't get away from it.

[Jonathan Walton]

The only refuge from all those high temperatures is the ac. Mickey is now standing at the front door ringing that fancy doorbell. What's the door look like?

[Mickey]

It's a huge. I mean I don't, I can't even gauge how big it was, but it.

[Jonathan Walton]

Was huge, like an oversized door.

[Mickey]

It was two oversized doors. One of the ones that you walk.

[Jonathan Walton]

Into the door to a castle.

[Mickey]

Exactly. I could just feel him pulling up the ropes in the back. But it's a huge double door, easily 10ft high, you know, and she opens the door herself wearing, you know, I, I guess what her normal attire would be in the afternoon light summer clothes, very transparent almost blouse and kind of light capri pants. And has a drink in one hand. Wearing sunglasses in the house.

[Jonathan Walton]

Wearing sunglasses inside.

[Mickey]

Yeah.

[Jonathan Walton]

And what did this woman look like?

[Mickey]

She was attractive. She was probably early to mid-50s. Well taken care of. Really nice figure from what I could tell.

[Jonathan Walton]

Like she's keeping it tight.

[Mickey]

She is. And I mean, I guess she has nothing else to do. Well, her husband's working all day, so they got a gym in the house.

[Jonathan Walton]

Gym inside.

[Mickey]

She's attractive, blonde, probably about 5 foot, maybe 100 pounds. She was, she was a good looking, attractive woman.

[Jonathan Walton]

What happens next? What does she tell you? She opens the door. Hi, thanks for coming.

[Mickey]

Hi. And she, you know, puts out the feminine for a feminine handshake. Kind of grab the tips of her fingers kind of thing. And she's, she's like, let me, let me show you what I need done. And so we walk to the back of her house and she's kind of showing me these shutters that I can't really see much wrong with them. She's, she's saying that they need to be repaired. I'm like, okay, you know, well, let me, give me a couple minutes, let me take a look at them and then I'll let you know. And big enclosed patio area, huge pool. It's really nice house. I mean, like I said, a million dollar home in the middle of nowhere. There's not a blade of grass to be seen. But, you know, nice home nonetheless.

[Jonathan Walton]

Are you measuring, do these shutters need to be repaired? What's your assessment?

[Mickey]

Well, I'm looking at the shutters and I'm trying to find what could possibly be wrong with them because it doesn't seem like there's anything wrong with them. They're first aesthetics more than anything. They're not actual operational shutters. So I'm looking at the shutters and you know, before I know it, she's, she's calling me inside.

[Jonathan Walton]

And so at this point, the shutters don't seem like they need fixing.

[Mickey]

She doesn't need. Yeah, as far as I can see, you know, I can do work to the shutters, but they didn't need any work.

[Jonathan Walton]

Right.

[Mickey]

There was nothing to be repaired. There's nothing wrong with them.

[Jonathan Walton]

And what are you thinking at that point? This woman's crazy.

[Mickey]

I thought she was crazy. I thought she's crazy. But hey, you know, maybe they really know. Are just trying to find ways to spend money and you need money and I could help with that. Yeah.

[Jonathan Walton]

So what happens? You're outside looking at the shutters, I'm.

[Mickey]

Outside looking at the shutters, and she's like, hey, why don't you come in? And so I come back inside and she's like, would you like to drink? And I was like, yeah, whatever. Whatever you have is fine. Didn't realize she meant alcoholic drink. Ooh. She was drinking gin or vodka or something.

[Jonathan Walton]

Ooh.

[Mickey]

And I said, yeah, vodka's fine. Because she said, what would you like? Vodka, whiskey. She started naming all these liquors and I was, okay, I'll take a vodka. And so she pours me a drink and she's like, sit down, it's hot outside. You know, take a load off. It's like I, I literally just gotten there a couple minutes earlier. And so I said, okay. So I sat down on the couch and she brought me a drink. It's a huge wraparound couch. And, you know, she decided to sit right next to me. I mean, like, right next to me. It's a six person sofa. And she sat inches away from me.

[Jonathan Walton]

At this point, the signs are all there. This woman clearly does not want her shutters fixed at all. She wants something else entirely. And even though Mickey knows what she's getting at, he's reluctant to make a move. And what are you thinking?

[Mickey]

I'm thinking, okay, you know, she's attractive woman. I was like, is this possibly, you know, more than, or something else than I had originally thought. And sure enough, you know, I didn't even take a first drink. You know, she's like, what do you think? And I turned around to look at her and she immediately leans in and starts kissing me.

[Jonathan Walton]

She started kissing you? Like, like tongue in mouth?

[Mickey]

Tongue in mouth. And so I was taken aback. I wasn't, I was prepared, but not prepared. I wasn't expecting it to progress that fast. And it did.

[Jonathan Walton]

What did you kiss back? Like, what do you do?

[Mickey]

Oh, at that point, I, I, I looked somewhere to put my glass down, started embracing her and kissing her back. And next thing I know, we're tugging at each other's clothes. I'm tired. Taking off her blouse, taking off my shirt. Then come my pants. And it progressed pretty quickly.

[Jonathan Walton]

Mickey is in the living room of this woman's grand house, festooned with crystal chandeliers, gilded fixtures and oversized furniture. And he sees framed pictures of her and her husband and her and her college aged kids all around on tables, on walls, on her phone's home screen. There are even pictures of her as a deacon in her church with her pastor and parishioners hanging on the wall too. But in that moment when Mickey's heart's racing and his hormones are surging, the physical chemistry he has with this married woman is just so overwhelming. And the idea of pumping the brakes or just walking away from what's about to go down is non existent. Here's something most doctors know that most men never talk about. Stress from work, money and family doesn't just disappear at night. It follows you into the bedroom. You can be lying next to the woman you've loved for years and suddenly your mind will not let your body do what it has always done naturally. For situations like that, doctors look for treatments that help both the brain and the body. That's where Rougiet Reddy comes in. Unlike Viagra and Cialis, Rougiet Redi is a next generation prescription treatment designed to help prompt prime your brain for arousal and increase blood flow. It combines three clinically proven ingredients in one mint that dissolves under your tongue so it absorbs fast. Most men are ready in about 15 minutes so you can stay present, confident and in control when the moment is right. Over 150,000 men have already made the switch to Rougiet. Getting started is simple. Rougiet connects you with a board certified doctor online and your treatment gets shipped discreetly to your door for a limited time only. Head to rougiet.comwalton to get fit 15 off your order that's r u g I e-t.comwalton to get 15 off your order rougiet.comwalton so I bought this black wool jacket 7 years ago from quince.com and my God it looks brand new. Still hang in there with my other clothes. Even though it's much older, it looks brand new. Spanking new. There are no frayed threads. All the buttons are still on. It is amazing. Quint has everyday essentials I love with quality that lasts. Organic cotton sweaters, polos for every occasion, lighter jackets that keep you warm in the changing seasons. The list goes on. Quint works directly with top factories and cuts out the middlemen. So you're not paying for brand markup, just quality quote clothing. Refresh your wardrobe. Go to quint.comwalton for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com Walton free shipping 365 day returns. Quince.comWalton this episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever think about switching insurance companies to see if you could save some cash? Progressive makes it easy to see if you could save when you bundle your home and auto policies. Try [e-mail] Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Potential savings will vary. Not available in all states. So I bought this black wool jacket seven years ago from quince.com and my God, it looks brand new. Still hang in there with my other clothes. Even though it's much older, it looks brand spanking new. There are no frayed threads. All the buttons are still on. It is amazing. Quint has everyday essentials I love with quality that lasts. Organic cotton sweaters, polos for every occasion. Lighter jackets that keep you warm in the changing seasons. The list goes on. Quince works to directly with top factories and cuts out the middlemen. So you're not paying for brand markup, just quality clothing. Refresh your wardrobe. Go to quince.comWalton for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.comWalton free shipping 365 day returns. Quince.comWalton foreign.

[Mickey]

So we start taking each other's clothes off and before I know, we're both completely naked on her couch and she's got these really beautiful, perky fake tits.

[Jonathan Walton]

Fake tits?

[Mickey]

Oh yeah, they were completely fake.

[Jonathan Walton]

But like, were they like great? She had like implants to like support like what did it fake?

[Mickey]

How fake? They were completely. You could tell that they were implants. You know, she was like, I said she was in her mid-50s.

[Jonathan Walton]

Oh. And they were like up high.

[Mickey]

Oh, yeah. They were choking her. But, but apparently they had the money to get them done, right? Because they looked, they looked natural enough. You knew they were fake, but they didn't look, you know, too out of bounds plasticky where it was actually a turn off. No, she looked, she looked good.

[Jonathan Walton]

So you were turned on?

[Mickey]

Oh yeah, completely. Immediately. And she grabbed my. Well, when she pulled it out, she's like, oh my God, I love your. It's perfect. It looks like a dildo. I've seen in the, in the, in ads that I'm always too afraid to buy. And again, what a Compliment. It was, but I attribute it to.

[Jonathan Walton]

You know, she's just being polite.

[Mickey]

We're in the heat of the moment kind of thing. That's. Those are the kind of things you say.

[Jonathan Walton]

Remember, Mickey grows up a sheltered Catholic boy who never changes in front of anyone. And he never sees other guys naked. The only other penises he's looked at are in pornos which are the same size as his. His. So he thinks he's normal. And this housewife is the first woman to lay her hands on Mickey's manhood since his divorce. So initially, he dismisses her compliment. So still, it doesn't occur to you that you're rocking a huge dick?

[Mickey]

It does not.

[Jonathan Walton]

There are none so blind as those who will not see.

[Mickey]

Anyway, we're completely naked on the couch, and we somehow either roll off or get. Somehow we end up on her, on her rug in their living room. Very plush, very luxurious rug. And we're rolling around the floor naked. And I reach up, I lean up, I'm sucking on her breast, and she's kissing me. And it's. It's. It's wild. It's. It devolves into, you know, wild, animalistic sex. You know, before I even knew what.

[Jonathan Walton]

Was happening was just, like, visceral.

[Mickey]

It was.

[Jonathan Walton]

You were like an animal responding.

[Mickey]

Yeah. And I didn't.

[Jonathan Walton]

This was never the plan.

[Mickey]

It was not the plan at all. You know, I was not prepared for this at all. And, you know, I. I was. I got prepared pretty quick, you know, and she. She helped me along with that. And then when she gets on top, she grabs on a cock, and she's kind of aiming herself so she could start straddling me. And she said, you gotta. You gotta give me a minute, because I've never taken anyone as big as you before. It's like, you know, you're at least twice as big as my husband. I learned over time that the average, you know, penis size anywhere from four to five inches. And I was eight and a half and quite thick, I would say. Coca Cola can, thickness.

[Jonathan Walton]

Coca Cola can thickness. Wow. I can only imagine, logistically speaking, how tricky that is to navigate. But this hypersexual housewife has come too far to turn back now. Mickey is her Mount Everest, and she's determined to reach the summit one way or another.

[Mickey]

She's grabbing my. When I'm on the. On the floor and kind of leveraging herself on top, and she's like, I have to take it slow. Slow. I have never had anyone this thick before. And I was like, okay. And she's taking her time. My hands are on her ass and I'm just kind of supporting her. And she's lowering herself really slowly on me. And she's, you know, not screaming, but she's. She's not being quiet about, you know, what's happening is I'm stretching her out. And she took quite a while before she was able to finally, you know, take it all in and before she started riding me.

[Jonathan Walton]

And once she gets acclimated to Mickey's length and Coca Cola can thickness, she goes crazy, thrashing back and forth for a good 10 minutes, moaning and groaning and spasming.

[Mickey]

You know, she's having the time of her life, and she's, you know, riding me like a wild woman.

[Jonathan Walton]

And did she have an orgasm?

[Mickey]

She had several. And I've learned over time is, you know, during my marriage, everything was kind of vanilla, you know.

[Jonathan Walton]

Yeah.

[Mickey]

But when the women, you know, get to take control and when they get on top. When they get on top, you know, they know what feels good and I don't even have to do a thing. They, you know, adjust to. To what I have. And they force. Not force themselves into orgasm, but they are able to achieve orgasm so much.

[Jonathan Walton]

Easier when they're writing.

[Mickey]

And she did twice before we switched positions and I rolled her over and I got on top of.

[Jonathan Walton]

So she had two orgasms before you even had one?

[Mickey]

Yes.

[Jonathan Walton]

That's the opposite of how it normally works with a man and a woman, from what I hear. I mean, I'm a gay guy. I've never slept with a woman. I'm a gold seal gay. But normally the complaint is the man will huff and puff and finish and the woman is still waiting. But that's not the case here. She had two orgasms before you even got to one?

[Mickey]

Yeah. And, you know, it wasn't like that when I was younger. It was definitely, you know, the stereotypical guy finishes, rolls over and he's. He's tired, and the girl goes to bed, you know, unsatisfied. But over the years, you know, being married, lots of sex, I've learned, you know, to control myself and actually kind of force the issue where I'm, you know, I'm specifically not even trying to achieve orgasm, you know, because I'm having a great time regardless.

[Jonathan Walton]

Right.

[Mickey]

You know, orgasm. Sometimes, you know, I've learned I don't even orgasm. I'd say a good 25% of the time. I could finish the. The evening, never orgasm, but I'm having a wonderful time. She's Orgasm several times and you know, they go away completely satisfied. I go away completely satisfied even though I never.

[Jonathan Walton]

Orgasm is part of the conceit. I may need this later. So let me say that because I'm on call, I could get called again and again and again. And I want to be able to perform.

[Mickey]

No, not really.

[Jonathan Walton]

You're happy not to come?

[Mickey]

I'm completely satisfied. Never coming. Some of my best experiences, I've never came. It's odd.

[Jonathan Walton]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Most guys just want to come and get out of there.

[Mickey]

Yeah. And that's a problem. That's why guys really don't have success. You know, they have a lot of one night stands, but the women are never going to call back because why would they, you know, they didn't get anything out of the experience. The guy did. Yeah. You know, but guys generally are selfish and I try never to be in the bedroom.

[Jonathan Walton]

And ladies, you say the perfect man doesn't exist. Anyway, Mickey is now in the living room of this married woman's Midland, Texas mansion and she's having the time of her life.

[Mickey]

She was vocal throughout the whole time. And you know, that, that pumped up my ego and, you know, she was writing me, then I was on top of her. Then I turned her around, had her doggy style.

[Jonathan Walton]

And so how long did this first meeting, this first sexual encounter last? So she's writing you. She orgasms twice, you change positions. Do you have an orgasm?

[Mickey]

I did, I did the first time and I think.

[Jonathan Walton]

And how long were you there total? How long did you guys have sex that day?

[Mickey]

I think I was probably there around 45 minutes.

[Jonathan Walton]

Total minutes. Wow. She got a lot in?

[Mickey]

Oh, yeah.

[Jonathan Walton]

In every conceivable way.

[Mickey]

She got a lot in. Yeah. Because I was only there about five minutes before she made a pass. Oh, yeah, it started pretty quickly.

[Jonathan Walton]

Yeah. Tongue down the throat.

[Mickey]

Yeah. Wow.

[Jonathan Walton]

She takes initiative.

[Mickey]

She did. And I'm glad she did because I never would have.

[Jonathan Walton]

I know, because if you would have, she could have called the cops if she.

[Mickey]

Exactly.

[Jonathan Walton]

And it's funny, the man woman thing, right?

[Mickey]

It is. And it's terrible. And it's great at the same time because, you know, it gives them a little bit of control and power to take the initiative and takes all the stress off of me as far as, hey, am I reading the signs wrong? Am I, you know, actually here to fix her shutters? And, you know, you know, I'm getting slapped and handcuffed and.

[Jonathan Walton]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Going to, going to jail.

[Mickey]

Exactly.

[Jonathan Walton]

Yeah.

[Mickey]

Especially, you know, looking how I do and looking how she does.

[Jonathan Walton]

Yeah. You know, Midland, Texas.

[Mickey]

Exactly.

[Jonathan Walton]

Oh yeah, they would. They're just looking for a reason to lock you up.

[Mickey]

Yeah. They have nothing else to do.

[Jonathan Walton]

Yeah. And it's hot. So you roll around this woman 45 minutes, she orgasms twice, you orgasm once, you put your clothes on, it's time to go. What do you say? What does she say? What does she pay you? Does she pay you? How does this go down? So I bought this black wool jacket seven years ago from quince.com and my God, it looks brand new. Still hang in there with my other clothes. Even though it's much older, it looks brand spanking new. There are no frayed threads all the way. Buttons are still on. It is amazing. Quince has everyday essentials I love with quality that lasts. Organic cotton sweaters, polos for every occasion. Lighter jackets that keep you warm in the changing seasons. The list goes on. Quint works directly with top factories and cuts out the middlemen. So you're not paying for brand markup, just quality clothing. Refresh your wardrobe. Go to quince.comwalton for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's quince.comwalton free shipping 365 day returns quints.comwalton this episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. You chose to hit play on this podcast today. Smart choice. Make another smart choice with Auto quote Explorer. Compare rates from multiple car insurance companies all at once. Try [e-mail] Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Not available in all states or situations. Prices vary based on how you buy. So I bought this black wool jacket seven years ago from quince.com and my God, it looks brand new. Still hang in there with my other clothes. Even though it's much older, it looks brand spanking new. There are no frayed threads. All the buttons are still on. It is amazing. Quince has everyday essentials I love with quality that lasts. Organic cotton sweaters, polos for every occasion. Lighter jackets that keep you warm in the changing seasons. The list goes on. Quince works to directly with top factories and cuts out the middlemen. So you're not paying for brand markup, just quality clothing. Refresh your wardrobe. Go to quint.comWalton for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.comWalton Free shipping 365 day returns. Quince.comWalton Wasn't that delicious?

[Mickey]

So good. Your Bill. Ladies.

[Jonathan Walton]

I got it.

[Mickey]

No, I got it. Seriously. I insist.

[Jonathan Walton]

I insist first.

[Mickey]

Don't be silly. You don't be silly. People with the Wells Fargo Active cash credit card prefer to pay because they.

[Jonathan Walton]

Earn unlimited 2% cash rewards on purchases. Okay. Rock, paper, scissors for it.

[Mickey]

Rock, paper, scissors. Shoot.

[Jonathan Walton]

No. The Wells Fargo active cash credit card. Visit Wells Fargo.com ActiveCash terms apply.

[Mickey]

You know, after, you know, rolling around a while, we're both spent.

[Jonathan Walton]

You're sweaty.

[Mickey]

We're sweaty. It's hot. We're laying there together, side by side, naked on her rug in the living room.

[Jonathan Walton]

Are you worried her husband might come home?

[Mickey]

You know, not until we rolled over spent. Did that thought even cross my mind. You know, I was. I was. My mind was elsewhere. Let's. Let's put it that way. And then I was thinking, oh, God, you know, Billy Bob, come home anytime and, you know, murder us both.

[Jonathan Walton]

That's how they handle things in Midland, Texas.

[Mickey]

Everyone has guns. Yeah.

[Jonathan Walton]

You know, everyone's got a gun.

[Mickey]

It's so easy to have a gun. You can go into Walmart and buy a gun.

[Jonathan Walton]

Yeah.

[Mickey]

That same day. And we'll just walk right out.

[Jonathan Walton]

And people are carrying guns in the open.

[Mickey]

Oh, yeah. You know, people carry around their holsters and. Yeah, it's, it's, it's very much a Texas themed kind of stereotype, But it's there for a reason.

[Jonathan Walton]

Right. It's like the Wild west over there still.

[Mickey]

People have gun racks in their trucks. You know, you see a couple rifles and shotguns in the back of everyone's truck and, you know.

[Jonathan Walton]

Yep. That's how things are in that part of the country. I spent seven years living in Texas working as a TV reporter in the early 2000s. I'm Jonathan Walton. We are live tonight at Christmas Central in San Antonio. And it really is a different kind of state with a bravado second to none, because for nearly 10 years back in the early 1800s, Texas was actually its own country before it became a state. It was known as the Republic of the Texas. And that pride and independent spirit is everywhere still to this day. I mean, nearly every TV commercial you watch in Texas hammer. The idea of being an ass kicker. And Texas tough is ubiquitous.

[Mickey]

Grand Champ Roofing builds and repairs roofs. Texas tough. Marin and Orange. Texas tough.

[Jonathan Walton]

Tipton Ford in South Texas tough. So basically everyone in Texas is either an ass kicker or aspires to be an ass kicker. And sleeping with another man's wife is more than enough to get your ass kicked or worse. As Mickey Knows all too well in this post nut clarity that washes over you. You start thinking the husband could come home and shoot me.

[Mickey]

And that's where I start wrapping things up. Yeah. I'm like, oh, God, what just happened here? You know, you're obviously married to a millionaire and this is Texas. You're Anglo. I'm as Mexican as you can get. You know, I'm very dark skinned. And I was like, I wouldn't say.

[Jonathan Walton]

You'Re very dark skinned.

[Mickey]

Compared to her. I was, okay, so she was super white. Side by side, she was alabaster Latino.

[Jonathan Walton]

Yeah. You don't look that dark. Dark? I mean, nothing about.

[Mickey]

I look pretty dark in midlift.

[Jonathan Walton]

I got my LA goggles on.

[Mickey]

Exactly. This is a diverse melting pot. Not so much over there.

[Jonathan Walton]

Yeah. Okay. So you stand out over there.

[Mickey]

I do. And when the realization kind of washes over me as we're laying there naked, kind of of spent, it's like, I'm going to start getting my clothes on because, you know, I. I got to get the hell out of here. Who knows if the husband's going to show up or her kids or, you know, whoever might show up and find us here in this way. Naked on her living room floor. So I. I start, you know, getting up, gathering my clothes, and she leans over and she kisses me. She's like, thank you for such a great time. Like, I can't wait till the next time.

[Jonathan Walton]

The next time.

[Mickey]

So she's already planning ahead and I'm thinking in my mind, that is awesome. At the same time, I'm still getting my clothes on because, yeah, you know, I don't know the circumstances, I don't know her husband's schedule. I don't know anything at this point. I thought I was coming over for a legitimate job that, you know, turned sideways in my favor, but. And so as I'm getting my clothes and starting to get dressed, she goes to her pocketbook that's sitting on the table next to our drinks. She. She pulls out a couple hundred dollars. And she's like, you can come over anytime. And she gives me $200 for nothing other than the time that we spent on the floor naked because I didn't do any work. I didn't fix her shutters. I didn't do anything.

[Jonathan Walton]

You did lay pipe.

[Mickey]

I did. And apparently harder than she's been laid before. So.

[Jonathan Walton]

So $200 for what? 45 minutes.

[Mickey]

45 minutes.

[Jonathan Walton]

But Mickey goes on to make thousands of dollars from this one particular wealthy housewife because she hires him a Lot. How many times after that did she call you and make an appointment?

[Mickey]

Several times. I. I can't remember the exact number.

[Jonathan Walton]

But it was more than a dozen?

[Mickey]

Oh, yeah.

[Jonathan Walton]

More than 20, probably.

[Mickey]

Yeah.

[Jonathan Walton]

40.

[Mickey]

Upwards of that. It was, it was.

[Jonathan Walton]

And 200 bucks each time.

[Mickey]

Every time. With her.

[Jonathan Walton]

With her.

[Mickey]

Because I never set a price. Right. She never got to that point.

[Jonathan Walton]

Right.

[Mickey]

But after that first time, she pretty much set 200 bucks.

[Jonathan Walton]

Right.

[Mickey]

Every time you come over, it's gonna be 200 bucks.

[Jonathan Walton]

And how long would all those subsequent visits last?

[Mickey]

Sometimes it would last longer, sometimes as much as two hours, sometimes as little as 30 minutes, depending on what her schedule was. You know, she upand coming woman around town. She had to go to the flower society or wherever the hell rich women do. I have no idea.

[Jonathan Walton]

But she had a social calendar.

[Mickey]

She had a social calendar and she would fit me in, you know, when she needed me. Fit in?

[Jonathan Walton]

Yeah, in so many ways.

[Mickey]

Exactly.

[Jonathan Walton]

And you told me before, she. She's a churchgoing woman.

[Mickey]

She.

[Jonathan Walton]

Jesus.

[Mickey]

Her and her husband both deacons at the local church. Oh, my God. You know, I don't. Not sure what kind of denomination they were, but she was a church going lady and she knew. And most times that we met, it was in the time frame that she knew everyone was going to be at church because no one was gonna happenstance stop by because they were going to be busying their church activities, which apparently lasted several hours. For this denomination, it was not only the church service, but it was fellowships and afterwards. And they do a lot of stuff. Yeah, yeah.

[Jonathan Walton]

In that part of the world. Yeah. Because I. I lived in Texas, so. Yeah. In a lot of these communities, the church is such a huge presence and informs and occupies your day. Just for the church that. For the church. Just for the church doing this.

[Mickey]

Yeah. We're volunteering.

[Jonathan Walton]

Yeah. Like, church aside, this experience Mickey has with this wealthy housewife really opens his eyes to a world of possibilities.

[Mickey]

I realized at that moment she's probably not the only one in Midland that could use the same kind of services.

[Jonathan Walton]

And in no time, word of mouth, or rather word of Mickey's giant cyclops spreads far and wide across the vast plains of West Texas.

[Mickey]

And before long, I started getting, you know, a lot of other handyman calls.

[Jonathan Walton]

Out of all the calls you get for handyman work, how many end up in sacks?

[Mickey]

75%.

[Jonathan Walton]

Next time on the Handyman of West Texas. A lot of your encounters involve pictures. Like they want you to take pictures and video of them.

[Mickey]

In the last five years, you know, I've accumulated quite a catalog.

[Jonathan Walton]

Oh, we're gonna get into all that and so much more. In the meantime, why are you listening to this podcast alone? Hit the Share button on your podcast app and text the Handyman of West Texas to the people in your life who'd enjoy it and can listen along with you and talk about it. And leave us a five star review. Or in Mickey's case, an eight and a half star review on whatever platform you're listening on. The Handyman of West Texas was created, written and hosted by me, Jonathan Walton for Jonathan Walton Media Executive Producer Evan Goldstein. All sound design and editing was done by Jimmy o'. Holligan. Make sure you're subscribed to Jonathan Walton Media so you can get alerts when new episodes drop. And if you've got a great story that you you think deserves its own podcast series, pitch it to me@Jonathan Walton.com. This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. You chose to hit play on this podcast today. Smart Choice make another smart choice with Auto Quote Explorer to compare rates from multiple car insurance companies or all at once. Try [e-mail] Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates not available in all states or situations. Prices vary based on how you buy.