Podcast Summary:

Johnathan Walton Media – EP 2: The Quarterback and The Con Artist
Episode Title: The Pain of Being Alive
Release Date: September 10, 2025
Host: Johnathan Walton
Main Guests: Eric Kramer, Dylan Kramer, Anna Durgan, Chris German, Dr. Mark Kerner, Robert Espinosa

Overview

This episode delves into the harrowing personal journey of former NFL quarterback Eric Kramer, whose struggle with depression, stemming in part from chronic traumatic encephalopathy (CTE), leads to a meticulously planned suicide attempt. Through raw and candid conversations with Eric, his loved ones, and medical professionals, host Johnathan Walton explores the hidden pain of mental illness, the impact of CTE on athletes, and the resilience required to survive personal tragedy—culminating in a near-death experience that forever alters the lives of everyone involved.

Key Discussion Points & Timeline

1. The Hidden Depression of Eric Kramer

[02:07 – 04:05]

• Eric Kramer describes his secret search for a way out:
  "I remember researching online, what's the best way to kill yourself?" (Eric Kramer, [02:27])
• Friends and family—including Anna Durgan and Dylan Kramer—reveal their shock, recalling how well Eric masked his suffering.
• Even his coaches and teammates were oblivious:
  "I had no inkling... that he was battling depression." (Chicago Bears coach Dave Wanstadt, [03:01])

2. CTE and Its Impact on Mental Health

[01:07 – 07:35]

• The segment examines the role of CTE, discussing the disconnection between outward appearance and inner turmoil.
• Dylan Kramer reflects:
  "He was isolating... just a complete shell of himself... the tricky part about this whole CTE thing is... it's also like little stuff—how do you connect with people?" (Dylan Kramer, [06:44])

3. Descent and Preparation: The Lead-up to the Suicide Attempt

[08:11 – 12:29]

• Eric shares detail about his methodical planning, echoing imagery from "Shawshank Redemption":
  "Every time I've watched that movie... that particular scene I can identify with." (Eric Kramer, [08:45])
• He quietly arranges his financial affairs and leaves handwritten letters for loved ones.

4. The Night of the Attempt

[12:29 – 14:47]

• August 18, 2015: Eric checks into a motel, sends a chilling final text to Chris German, his longtime friend and detective.
• Chris recalls the moment of realization:
  "I knew exactly what that meant, so I immediately tried to call him... full panic." (Chris German, [13:46])
• As Chris attempts to intervene from 2,000 miles away, Eric shoots himself—miraculously surviving.

5. The Immediate Aftermath and Rescue

[14:47 – 17:35]

• Chris German calls the motel, the sheriff, and manages a coordinated response: "He answered... He was audible, but he wasn't really talking. He was groaning." (Chris German, [14:47])
• Eric, barely conscious, complies and is rescued just in time: "Apparently I got up and went to the door and from there I don't know what happened." (Eric Kramer, [16:41])
• Friends and family frantically search for Eric, overwhelmed with guilt and worry.

6. Hospitalization and Initial Recovery

[21:01 – 30:12]

• Dr. Mark Kerner explains the medical realities of Eric’s survival, detailing the bullet’s trajectory and life-saving emergency intervention: "Eyes were swollen shut, nose was bleeding profusely... My goal at that point is just to stop the bleeding." (Dr. Mark Kerner, [22:32])
• Eric is admitted under a false name for privacy and security, making it difficult for loved ones to find him: "He was brought in as a John Doe." (Dr. Kerner, [24:04])
• Anna Durgan sneaks into the hospital to see Eric:
  (On sneaking in) "I just knock into the critical care unit. When someone opened the door. I walked in. Don't even ask." (Anna Durgan, [25:39])

7. A Family Reeling from the Aftermath

[27:10 – 30:12]

• Dylan sees his father for the first time post-surgery: "His head was an actual bowling ball... I didn't recognize him." (Dylan Kramer, [27:10])
• A subtle but profound moment of recognition occurs when Eric tries to react to Dylan's voice: "He hears my voice and, like, starts to spring out of the bed... So he recognized you immediately." (Jonathan Walton/Dylan Kramer, [28:27])
• The physical and cognitive damage is immense. Eric must relearn the very basics: "They basically said he has to learn everything again and you have to think of him like a baby." (Anna Durgan, [30:12])

Notable Quotes

• Eric Hipple (on athletes hiding pain):
  "Because once they reach that decision, they become experts at hiding their plans." ([04:09])
• Eric Kramer (on planning):
  "Keeping it from you is actually the goal... you get good at... being depressed and not letting anybody know you're depressed." ([04:58])
• Jonathan Walton (on the odds):
  "Eric Kramer has spent a lifetime beating the odds on the field. And now in the most important game, the game of life, he was down, but he was not out." ([20:44])
• Dr. Mark Kerner (on survival):
  "If it was a little bit farther back, it would have nailed the optic nerves and he could have easily been blinded." ([22:34])
• Anna Durgan (in Eric's hospital room):
  "I just whispered in his ear: Fight. You're a fighter. You're strong. Everybody loves you. You're gonna get through this." ([25:55])

Memorable Moments

• [12:41] – Eric’s haunting final text to Chris German prompts a race against time.
• [13:46] – Chris German’s panic, knowing intimately from his law enforcement career what could happen.
• [17:29] – Pieces of Eric’s rescue are reconstructed from secondhand accounts, highlighting the surreal unfolding of events.
• [25:53] – Anna Durgan’s emotional clandestine visit, whispering encouragement to an unrecognizably injured Eric.
• [28:27] – Dylan’s voice prompts a reaction from comatose Eric, momentarily bridging the gap between life and death.

Episode Tone & Style

Authentic, raw, compassionate, and unflinching. Johnathan Walton allows participants to speak honestly about trauma, guilt, and the stigmatization of mental health, particularly for public figures and athletes. The storytelling is propulsive but sensitive, mixing investigative reconstruction with intimate, first-person narrative.

Timestamps for Reference

• Eric’s research & planning: [02:27], [08:11]
• CTE’s effects described: [01:07], [06:44]
• Details on the suicide attempt: [12:29], [14:47]
• Medical explanation of survival: [21:01], [22:32]
• Anna sneaks into hospital: [25:03], [25:39]
• Dylan at Eric’s bedside: [27:10]

Concluding Note

The episode is a searing look into how hidden pain, stigma, and the neurological aftershocks of professional sports can collide with devastating results. The story of Eric Kramer’s survival is equal parts tragedy and testament to the fragility—and the stubborn will—of the human spirit.