I was never really that sure about what I wanted to be when I grew up.

Although I do remember mentioning that I really enjoyed writing during the interview for a part-time role at McDonald’s in my teens. The store manager chuckled and asked: “What do you write?” but I decided mentioning my burgeoning collection of obscure French film reviews would be unlikely to help me in my mission to get a job serving Extra Value Meals.

I ended up working at McDonald’s for 10 months, but that’s a newsletter for another time.

I envied those people who had a fixed future in their minds: vet, doctor, teacher, etc. Some people just know what they want to do. I, however, followed what I enjoyed, and hoped everything would fall into place.

I was very fortunate to have parents who never pushed me in any direction, they were happy if I was happy… and studying French, watching Futurama with the directors’ commentary, and writing my inane thoughts on LiveJournal was what made me happy.

When it came to choosing subjects for GCSE and A Levels, I was pretty good at everything, but absolutely hated Maths and Science. So, I opted for arts subjects, and even then, I would struggle if there was no creative freedom in essay structure or exam answers.

I have been reminiscing this week about my love of writing, as I vividly remember finding flow in a GCSE English Language exam where creative writing was encouraged, allowing for a broad answer. I wrote about The Beatles’ early career, in particular the films A Hard Day’s Night and Help!, and what this meant to me.

Another time, we were tasked with writing a review of a French film (in English), and I was accused of stealing mine from the internet by the teacher. I take that as a compliment to this very day.

Even though I went on to study French and Spanish at university, writing was always my favourite part of any task. I never considered writing could be my future until a uni careers advisor told me that many languages graduates went on to work in marketing due to transferable skills.

The youth to YouTuber pipeline

The reason I am writing about childhood ambition is that I recently came across a subset of influencer content online where children are imitating popular video formats, from unboxing to morning routines and even skincare hauls.

A commonly quoted 2019 study found that nearly a third of children cited YouTuber as their dream career. In the six years since that survey, we’ve seen the rise of TikTok, a platform with significant earning potential… but only for those who are willing to give it their everything.

I don’t want to share any examples, for privacy reasons, but I am sure you have all seen videos of teenage boys claiming to be millionaires and similarly aged girls describing their 10-stage Drunk Elephant skincare routine.

I often cringe at what could have happened if I had access to an HD video camera and YouTube back in my teenage years. Fortunately, my embarrassing internet footprint remains hidden in the depths of Tumblr and LiveJournal.

Is it really a bad thing if young people are inspired by what they see online? In some ways, you could argue that video content creation is a career like any other, and one that any entrepreneurial youngster would be stupid not to try their hand at…

But what is the end goal? Fame, fortune… and a complete lack of privacy?

To be clear, I am not talking about those who use the medium of video to explore their creativity. It’s more specific than that. It’s the children in the bedrooms who get up at 4 am and record an unrealistic morning routine, or unpack a haul of hundreds of pounds worth of items they will never use.

And I guess that brings me to the crux of the matter.

It’s insincere.

It’s all about the why.

For children and teenagers dabbling in content creation, what is driving them? Is it creativity or the act of seeking validation from others?

I would also be concerned about who is really benefiting should these children start earning a significant amount of money online? We’re already seeing the aftermath of the family vlogging generation as children like Shari Franke speak up about their lives growing up in front of the camera.

If an adult is pulling the strings, then this is undoubtedly unethical to me.

I guess what is most likely is that these youngsters will move on eventually, and get ‘real’ jobs… but their digital footprint will last forever.

Overall, I’m in two minds about Gen Alpha’s digital ambitions. On one hand, I feel like a grumpy old person who doesn’t understand the new world… but on the other, I am concerned about what it means for an entire generation of young people who are growing up with the sole ambition of becoming famous.

Especially when this fame and fortune are so manufactured. One of the most famous morning routine videos is that of influencer Ashton Hall, who claims to get up at 3 am to journal, listen to prayer videos, dunk his face in ice water, and workout. It’s so insane you’d think it was parody, but it’s not?

This would not be his routine if he weren’t recording this for content. It shows nothing of the camera setup or lighting… the behind-the-scenes of what creates the morning routine is invisible, the woman who makes his food is just a pair of disembodied hands. At one point, he even drops a bottle of water on the floor and it smashes… but a camera is positioned to capture it!

Is anything real online anymore? I suspect not.

Children and young people see influencers like Ashton and believe they could make a living exactly how he does. Not to mention that this kind of content leads young men and boys down an alt-right pipeline quite easily, when entrepreneurship turns to toxic masculinity and Jordan Peterson worship.

There’s nothing wrong with having aspirations, but knowing what you enjoy vs what you want people to see you doing is the real lesson we should be teaching kids. More hobbies without an end goal, and fewer ‘likes' for validation would go a long way.

I’d love to know what you wanted to be when you grew up, and what you ended up becoming, in the comments below.

Mother’s Day is a tough one for me, so we didn't do a lot on Sunday, but I did take our daughter to my mam's favourite National Trust site on Monday and we enjoyed a quiet day out (without having to look at all the other people with their mams!)

Here are some things I've enjoyed over the last week:

🎥Bring Them Down (MUBI) - This gritty Irish revenge thriller had us gripped.

📺 The Change (Season 2 - Channel 4) - Loved the first season of this, and the second is continuing in the same vein.

📺 What We Do In The Shadows (Season 6 - Disney+) - It’s over!

Ellen x

💌 About this email

I’m Ellen, and I write about mental health for the chronically online. I am a freelance copywriter, strategist and web designer, and I work from home with my husband, Craig, at Content By The Sea. We have two rescue greyhounds, Potter and Harmony, and a toddler.

I started this newsletter in March 2020 and have sent over 200(!) emails; currently, I have over 1,300 subscribers. I write about a wide variety of topics, including diet culture, my love of running, jealousy, my life falling apart, mam guilt, and this dystopian world we all live in.

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