5 More Ways to Fake Your Death

Summary

Crimeless: "5 More Ways to Fake Your Death"

Podcast: CrimeLess
Episode Air Date: April 10, 2026
Hosts: Rory Scovel (comedian), Josh Dean (journalist & true crime podcaster)
Format: Humorous, true-crime storytelling and commentary

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Episode Overview

This episode—the fourth bonus installment in the series—dives deeper into the bizarre world of people who have faked their own deaths. In classic Crimeless fashion, Rory and Josh present a countdown of the top five most outrageous (and often ridiculous) cases of fake deaths, blending historical storytelling, pop-culture wit, and plenty of tongue-in-cheek analysis. The hosts not only break down the “how” and “why,” but also explore the sometimes absurd motivations behind these escapades.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Joan of Leeds: The Runaway Nun (02:22 – 03:48)

• Story Summary:
  Joan of Leeds, an English nun in 1318, faked a fatal illness, crafted a dummy of herself, and escaped the convent life she loathed. Her peers buried the dummy, either in obliviousness or as accomplices.

• Notable Details:

  • The Archbishop of York sent a warning to keep an eye out for Joan, speculating she was “seduced by indecency” and living with a man—scandalous by medieval standards.
  • The hosts joke about the possible complicity or gullibility of the nuns and the drama worthy of a medieval soap opera.

• Quote:

  • “Her dummy was exceptionally realistic, her colleagues are really dumb, gullible, and have terrible eyesight, or they’re cool as hell and help Joan get away with this.” — Rory (02:36)

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2. David Friedland: The Disappearing Senator (03:52 – 04:58)

• Story Summary:
  Former New Jersey senator David Friedland staged his own deadly scuba diving accident in 1985 while facing racketeering charges. Despite his “death,” Friedland resurfaced in the Maldives as a dive shop owner/instructor under a new name. His boldness—including posing for a postcard feeding a shark—eventually led to his arrest and nine-year prison stint.

• Notable Details:

  • Friedland’s love for scuba diving evidently eclipsed his knack for subtlety.
  • The hosts riff on the image of Friedland’s absurd postcard and ponder the fate of the friends who “couldn’t find” him underwater.

• Quote:

  • “He’d been living under the alias of Richard Smith Harley. Great choice.” — Rory (04:29)

  • “How is that not a movie?” — Josh (04:58)

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3. Friedrich Gulda: The “Terrorist Pianist” (05:29 – 06:56)

• Story Summary:
  The eccentric classical/jazz pianist Friedrich Gulda faked his own death in 1999 to promote a concert. He faxed a death announcement to the press, only to reappear at a “Resurrection Concert," which sold out.

• Notable Details:

  • Gulda was infamous for naked performances and unpredictable antics.
  • The hosts banter about his reputation and the confusion around his nickname.

• Quotes:

  • “I think I’m saying that right. If you’re a listener and you know, call in, let us know. Win a pair of tickets to How to Fake Your Own Death, the live musical…” — Rory (05:30)
  • “Do you think performing nude is why they called him the terrifying penis?” — Josh (06:23)
  • “Terrifying?” — Rory (06:27)

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4. Aleister Crowley: Occultist on the Run (06:56 – 08:08)

• Story Summary:
  Occultist Aleister Crowley faked his suicide in Portugal in 1930 mainly to irk his former lover. He left a melodramatic suicide note, vanished, and then enjoyed the spectacle of his own "death" in the press before reappearing weeks later.

• Notable Details:

  • Crowley’s fake suicide was a blend of attention-seeking and romantic spite.
  • His flair for drama inspired the hosts to riff on his “magic” and optometry mix-up.

• Quote:

  • “Occultist, I believe, is what you’re… — Josh (06:56)
  • “Yeah, I know, I said oculist—he’s actually an optometrist…” — Rory (06:59)
  • "His suicide note was addressed to Jaeger. 'I cannot live without you.'" — Rory (07:30)

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5. Harry Gordon: The Serial Newlywed (08:08 – 09:24)

• Story Summary:
  Desperate for an insurance payout, businessman Harry Gordon faked his drowning in 2000, assumed a new identity, and started over—with a new job and even a new wife. His ruse unraveled by chance when his brother recognized him during his honeymoon, leading to his arrest.

• Notable Details:

  • Gordon’s wife in Sydney was an accomplice—all for a “dream” life working in a potato crisp warehouse.
  • Both he and his first wife ultimately did time for the scheme.

• Quote:

  • “I just want to pretend I’m dead and finally work at a potato crisp warehouse like we’ve all dreamed of since we were children.” — Rory (09:35)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “We’ve got a top five fake deaths coming at you. Here we go. Number one through five…” — Rory (02:22)
• “If you plan to fake your own death someday, you now have plenty of ideas. But ideally you wouldn’t. People would be sad.” — Josh (09:48)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [02:22] – Kickoff: Top five countdown begins
• [02:24-03:48] – #1: Joan of Leeds, the fake-dead nun
• [03:52-04:58] – #2: David Friedland, scuba senator
• [05:29-06:56] – #3: Friedrich Gulda, the pianist prankster
• [06:56-08:08] – #4: Aleister Crowley, occultist suicide scam
• [08:08-09:24] – #5: Harry Gordon, honeymoon cat-astrophe
• [09:48] – Wrap-up and moral (kind of)

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Tone & Style

The hosts bring irreverence and a wink-wink attitude to true-crime podcasting, focusing on strange facts, punchlines, and the often ridiculous motivations of the scammers. Rory’s one-liners, Josh’s deadpan observations, and their friendly back-and-forth keep the pace brisk and the commentary laugh-out-loud.

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Conclusion

Episode 5 of Crimeless is a fast-paced, hilarious gallery of history’s weirdest death-faking escapades. From medieval nuns to theatrical pianists and crooked senators, the stories are astonishing—and the Crimeless hosts’ gleeful delivery ensures that even those not interested in “how to” guides for vanishing will be thoroughly entertained. And if you ever consider faking your own death? Don’t. People would be sad… and you’d probably get caught.

Transcript

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[Josh]

Hello, Crimeless nation. I have a special treat for you today. It's our fourth bonus episode. We had so much fun with this week's fake death stories that we just couldn't stop. We had to go on. So we gave Rory a little homework. What are we doing here, Lane?

[Rory]

This week we have a top five, and Rory is going to share it with us. That's right, Josh, and every listener out there. We've got a top five fake deaths coming at you. Here we go. Number number one through five. Joan of Leeds was an English nun who faked her death because she kind of hated being a nun. It's pretty relatable. In 1318, she feigned deathly illness and made a dummy of herself. Her colleagues buried her dummy in holy ground, meaning either one, her dummy was exceptionally realistic, two, her colleagues are really dumb, gullible, and have terrible eyesight, or three, they're cool as hell and help Joan get away with this. When the Archbishop of York found out about this, historical records do not show who snitched on her. He wrote a letter to local religious authorities, telling them to keep an eye out for a rogue nun. The Archbishop didn't know why Joan ran away, but had no issue speculating. She was seduced by indecency. She involved herself irreverently and perverted her path of life arrogantly to the way of carnal lust and away from poverty and obedience. She was accused of living with a man. How scandalous.

[Josh]

All right, number four or two.

[Rory]

All right, our next greatest top five fake death, David Freeland. David Freeland was a former New Jersey senator who faked his own death via scuba diving accident in 1985 while awaiting trial on racketeering charges. Friedland had taken painkillers before diving with a friend and never came back up to the surface. His body was never found and a warrant was issued for his arrest. Two years later, he was arrested in the Maldives, where he'd been working as a scuba dive instructor as well as an owner of a chain of scuba gear shops. He clearly had a lust, a carnal lust for scuba diving. He'd been living under the alias of Richard Smith Harley. Great choice. He traveled around the world before settling in the Maldives and did little to lie low, including posing for a postcard in which he was in scuba gear, feeding a live shark with food held in his own mouth. He eventually was returned to the United states and served nine years in prison. Friedland died in 2022.

[Josh]

Wow. How is that not a movie?

[Rory]

I mean, the guy, it's. Who. What did he get caught up in? Where he just. Because, like, you know what? I just. I always wanted to scuba dive, and I chose senator, and then I chose crime also. What is that? Like, you come back up with a group and they're like, you know, I lost them, Dave.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I don't know what Dave.

[Rory]

We were all swimming together, and then he was like, I'm going to go feed a shark with food in my mouth. And we were like, what, Rory?

[Josh]

Number three, Friedrich Goulda.

[Rory]

I think I'm saying that right. If you're a listener and, you know, call in, let us know what a pair of tickets to how to fake your own death, the live musical production by Josh and Rory. Friedrich Goulda, also known as the terrorist pianist, was a classical and jazz composer and pianist. He was known for his unorthodox practices. He once performed completely naked with his wife, improvising and shouting about being mad. In 1999, news agencies announced the death of Friedrich Gulda. Shortly after that news report was retracted, Gulda had faked his death, faxing his own death announcement from the Zurich airport to promote a concert at which he was about to be resurrected. The Resurrection concert sold out. Gulda died a year later on Mozart's birthday. Something he said he'd always wanted to do.

[Josh]

Do you think performing nude is why they called him the terrifying penis?

[Rory]

Maybe. Terrifying?

[Josh]

I'm sorry, did I mishear that?

[Rory]

You misheard it, yeah. I love that. He once performed completely naked with his wife, improvising and shouting about being mad. It's like that's how we all make love, right? Is that not. That's not specific to him. The next one. Aleister Crowley was an English oculist and author known for practicing sex magic.

[Josh]

Yeah. Occultist, I believe, is what you're cultist.

[Rory]

I know. I said oculistic. Yeah. He's actually an optometrist. Yeah. In September 1930, Crowley, then 54, traveled to Portugal with Hani Jaeger, a 19 year old German woman who was his newest romantic interest and sex magic partner. Soon after they arrived in Portugal, Crowley and Jaeger's relationship soured. He complained about her in his diary, writing about her pathological fear and lying. After a fight between the two of them, Jaeger left Portugal in a huff. So Crowley decided he'd fake his own suicide. It'd be a publicity stunt, mostly designed to annoy Jaeger. According to one biography on Crowley, Crowley picked a cliff formation just west of Lisbon called Boca do Inferno for his suicide. His suicide note was addressed to Jaeger. I cannot live without you. He writes. Crowley slipped off to Spain, where he got to read about his tragic death in the papers. Three weeks later, he made his grand reappearance in Berlin, alive and well. And finally, Harry Gordon was a once successful businessman who faked his own death in 2000 in hopes to benefit from a multi million dollar insurance payout. His abandoned boat was discovered in a river north of Newcastle. After an investigation in April 2001, the coroner ruled that Gordon had drowned. Gordon spent the next five years living as Rob Matzel, complete with a new passport and blue contact lenses. He spent time on the Spanish coast, then in England, working at a potato crisp warehouse before settling on New Zealand. Gordon, as Rob, met and married again. He still had a wife back in Sydney. It was on his honeymoon with his new wife when he just happened to run into his brother. His brother, thinking Gordon had drowned years ago, asked, is that really you? Gordon said of course. And told him now was not the time to talk. By the time their honeymoon had ended, Harry slash Rob was nabbed at the airport. Before he could board a plane home. Gordon pleaded guilty to conspiracy to commit fraud and was sentenced to 15 months in jail. Gordon's wife back in Sydney, Sheila, was charged with conspiracy because she had known about Gordon's scam all along. She served five months of home detention.

[Josh]

Wild how similar that is to our British one Like wife is in on it. The the like alter ego is ridiculously obvious, like see someone he knows.

[Rory]

And also similar goals. I mean, Rob was like, I just want to pretend I'm dead and finally work at a potato crisp warehouse like we've all dreamed of since we were children. There you have it. Top five fake deaths.

[Josh]

If you plan to fake your own death someday, you now have plenty of ideas. But ideally you wouldn't. People would be sad. We'll see you next week.

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