Could your pet murder you?

Summary

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CrimeLess – “Could your pet murder you?”

Podcast: CrimeLess (iHeartPodcasts + Smartless Media)
Hosts: Rory Scovel & Josh Dean
Date: March 18, 2026

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Brief Overview

In this episode of CrimeLess, comedians Rory Scovel and journalist Josh Dean take on an outlandish question: Could your pet murder you? The hosts hilariously—but also insightfully—dive into real-world incidents where pets (mainly dogs, cats, and even goldfish) have unwittingly or perhaps intentionally caused mayhem, injury, or financial loss. They debate which animal would make the best “Crimeless Mascot” and unpack, with signature irreverence, just how dangerous (or dumb) our beloved furry, scaly, or feathered friends might really be.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Pet-Related Crimes: Myth vs. Reality

Dogs with Guns:

• “I think we should adopt a pet together.” (05:22) – Kicking off, hosts joke about adopting a pet as a podcast mascot and quickly segue to dog-related accidents involving firearms.
• Real-life cases: Dogs, often by bumbling into loaded weapons, occasionally shoot their owners in freak accidents.
  • Trigger the Chocolate Lab: Stepped on a shotgun and shot his owner in the foot during a hunting trip. (06:27)
  • Oreo the Pit Bull: Jumped on a bed with a loaded gun present; paw caught on trigger, grazing the owner’s thigh. (08:42)
  • Charlie the Rottweiler Mix: Shot his owner in the back by stepping on a loaded rifle in the backseat. (09:21)

Insight:

• All agree these are human errors (“gun problem, not a dog problem”), but America is exceptional even in “dog shoots man” stats with 23 cases since 2014. (11:05, 11:37)

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2. Cats: Accidental Arsonists & Psychopaths

A Cat with a Gun:

• Cats are equal-opportunity troublemakers. One in Michigan knocked a 9mm off the counter, hitting its owner when it discharged. (13:04)

Intentional Mayhem:

• Citing a study in the Journal of Research and Personality (2021): “All cats are psychopaths.” (13:54)
  • Traits include tormenting prey, being undeterred by punishment, making noise for no reason.
  • “[My cat] refuses to kill the mouse, throws it around, up in the air, smacks it around, and then gets very sad when it ultimately dies of its injuries.” – Josh Dean (14:08)

Arson:

• In Seoul, South Korea, cats caused over 100 house fires in 3 years—often by messing with stove knobs or electronics. (15:13)
  • “New fear unlocked. Thank you, Josh.” — Rory Scovel (15:22)

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3. Small Pets: Guinea Pigs, Hamsters, Ferrets, Goldfish

Guinea Pigs & Hamsters:

• Guinea pigs are safe—in Peru, less so, as they're considered food. (20:27)
• Hamsters: “Hamsters are known to eat their own babies.” (22:09)

Ferrets:

• Ferrets are illegal as pets in some places (CA, PR, HI, NYC). They pose a threat to wildlife, being only semi-domesticated. (23:16)
• Difference between ferrets and weasels explained by Lane: “A ferret is a domesticated European polecat, while weasels are wild animals belonging to the same Mustela genus.” (24:08)

Goldfish (and Credit Card Fraud!):

• Goldfish seem harmless but not only “cause brief happiness at fairs” (25:09), they accidentally committed credit card fraud.
• Story of YouTuber Mutakimaru/Maurice’s Fish:
  • Fish-controlled video game stream leads to accidental purchases and revealed credit card info. (27:11)
  • “The fish swam over to the device’s eShop, added 500 yen, a little under 4 bucks, and in the process exposed his owner's credit card information to the whole livestream.” — Josh Dean (27:29)
  • “We have a fish denier amongst us.” — Rory Scovel (28:24)

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4. Birds: The Ultimate Accomplices?

Parrot Intelligence & Complications:

• Parrots: Intelligent (“eternal toddlers”), live up to 70 years, can learn hundreds of words—and can literally masturbate and have foot fetishes (per Reddit). (31:14, 31:56)
• “Some compare [their intelligence] to that of a four year old, which... that’s not that impressive, honestly.” – Josh Dean (32:11)

Criminal Parrots in Action:

• Brazilian Parrot: Warned owners of police: “Mum, the police!”—and then “kept quiet” in custody. (33:32, 34:16)
  • “He’s a parrot, not a rat!” — Reddit (34:32)
• Mango the English Parrot: Repeats drug prices (“2 for 25”), handles drug cash in videos leading to drug busts. (35:05)

Parrots as Mascots?

• Swearing parrots (notably President Andrew Jackson’s African grey) noted as a plus.
• But squawking is a dealbreaker for Rory: “That squawking I just can’t deal with. I just can’t do it.” (36:20)

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5. Special Q&A: Meet Shamrock the Parrot

Live Parrot Guest:

• Lane introduces her neighbor’s Amazon parrot, Shamrock—with volunteer Andrew from a bird rescue group.
  • “Our first guest. And this is where it ends.” – Rory Scovel (44:01)
  • “If you adopt Shamrock, Rory, … your child will be inheriting that bird.” – Josh Dean (44:33)
• Shamrock: The embodiment of parrot vibrance and longevity (26 years old with 54 years to go, possibly outliving the hosts).

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On dogs with access to guns:
  “All I've ever learned…is wherever a dog would potentially be walking, that's where you want to keep your gun.” — Rory Scovel (06:39)

• Pet homicide stats:
  “Since 2014, 23 people in the United States have been shot by dogs…” — Josh Dean (11:05)
  “Honestly, Michael Jordan's number. That's pretty cool.” — Rory Scovel (12:01)

• On cats as psychopaths:
  “All cats are psychopaths.” — Josh Dean (13:54, referencing research)

• On cats as arsonists:
  “New fear unlocked. Thank you, Josh.” — Rory Scovel (15:22)

• On questionable pets:
  “Hamsters are known to eat their own babies.” — Josh Dean (22:09)
  “I've never once wanted to eat my child. That's just, it's never come up.” — Rory Scovel (22:20)

• On goldfish and fraud:
  “The fish swam over to the device’s eShop, added 500 yen…” — Josh Dean (27:29)

• On parrots and criminal enterprise:
  “He’s a parrot, not a rat!” — Reddit, recounted by Josh Dean (34:32)

---

Timestamps for Important Segments

| Segment | Time | Details | |--------------------------|-----------|----------------------------------------------------------------------| | Riddle: “What has four legs…?” | 03:44 | Sets up the episode’s theme | | Dogs & accidental shootings | 06:03 | “Name that crime” game; real cases | | Stats: Dogs shooting people | 11:05 | “Since 2014, 23 people …” (stats context) | | Cats and accidental shootings | 13:04 | Michigan cat knocks over handgun | | Cat psychopathy & arson | 13:54-15:22 | Cat study; Seoul fire-starting cats | | Guinea pigs, hamsters, ferrets | 20:27-24:34 | Deliberation on small pets; legal/biological oddities | | Goldfish cause credit card fraud | 25:14-28:06 | The infamous “Mutakimaru” Pokémon story | | Parrots as criminals/cohosts | 31:56-36:36 | Parrot party tricks and criminal cases | | Q&A with Shamrock the parrot | 41:45-44:37 | Live guest: meet Shamrock and her handler, Andrew |

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Tone & Style

The episode weaves together absurd true crime, animal behavior science, and improv-heavy humor, with Josh in the drier, fact-driven role, Rory as the wry and bewildered skeptic, and Lane bringing in mini games (and a surprise parrot). There’s a loving skepticism toward sensational pet stories, all delivered with “stoned at a dinner party” energy.

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Closing Thoughts

• You probably don’t need to fear being murdered by your dog or cat—but keep your guns out of paw’s reach.
• Some animals are more menace than mascot (sorry, hamsters).
• Goldfish may be the next financial threat (especially if you let them near your Nintendo).
• Parrots might just be criminal masterminds in training—or stubborn, loud, feathered toddlers.
• It’s impossible to choose a perfect pet mascot for CrimeLess, but Shamrock the parrot comes closest.

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For more wild stories and criminal animal antics, subscribe to CrimeLess wherever you get podcasts!

Transcript

[Josh Dean]

This is an iHeart podcast.

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[Josh Dean]

So let's put a pin in puppies.

[Rory Scovel]

Probably a better phrase than let's put a pin in puppies. All right, let's put a pin in puppies. All right, Josh has changed.

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[Josh Dean]

Smart.

[Rory Scovel]

Bless media.

[Josh Dean]

So, Rory, I have a riddle for you.

[Rory Scovel]

Jesus, Josh, I always wondered, what do you do in your spare time?

[Josh Dean]

Now I know what has four legs, hair all over, and the potential to murder you?

[Rory Scovel]

I want to say a dog, but they're so loving that I'm going to go cat.

[Josh Dean]

The answer is what if I

[Rory Scovel]

am I O For however many of these we've done, I've never gotten. I've been close. I've never gotten anything right.

[Josh Dean]

No, you're very close often, though. I mean, like, I think on average you're. You're very. I mean, because you wanted to say dog and you said cat.

[Rory Scovel]

Yeah, I'm always in the neighborhood.

[Josh Dean]

Yeah. The answer I was looking for was dog. And potentially your dog.

[Rory Scovel]

No, not my sweet, sweet baby boy.

[Josh Dean]

What kind of. I forget what kind of dog you have.

[Rory Scovel]

Mini poodle, Dachshund mix. I mean, if he's a murderer, it's the most unsuspecting kind.

[Josh Dean]

This week on Crimeless. The call is coming from inside the house, perhaps cuddled up on your couch, wagging its tail menacingly. A long walk slash exploration into pets and the crimes they commit. Coming up on Crimeless. Hello and welcome back to Crimly, the podcast that celebrates the amazing creativity of the world's dumbest and cutest criminals.

[Rory Scovel]

I'm Josh Dean and I am the cutest Rory Scovel.

[Josh Dean]

Just slightly cuter.

[Rory Scovel]

Just. Just a little ledge.

[Josh Dean]

Okay, Rory, listen, I've really enjoyed working with you. I think it's time we take our relationship to the next level.

[Rory Scovel]

Okay. All right.

[Josh Dean]

I think we should adopt a pet together.

[Rory Scovel]

Okay. Not what I was thinking at all, but okay. Yes. I'm down. I'm down to try.

[Josh Dean]

It'll bond us as co hosts, really solidify the brand of the show. Like a little mascot we take care of.

[Rory Scovel]

What I was picturing too would have also bonded us in a way, but. Okay. Got it.

[Josh Dean]

Hey, now, you did just come from Burning Man.

[Rory Scovel]

So I'm changed. I'm forever changed.

[Josh Dean]

What we're looking for is a creature that exhibits all the qualities of a good crimeless episode. And we're gonna go animal by animal and analyze its suitability for crimeless mascot. And we're gonna start with dogs.

[Rory Scovel]

Yep.

[Josh Dean]

So I wanna play a little name game. Sorry, Lane. I'm skipping ahead here.

[Rory Scovel]

Not Lane's games. Josh's games.

[Josh Dean]

Josh's games. I'm gonna give you a dog's name. Rory. And you tell me the crime it's guilty of. The first one's a bit of a freebie. Trigger. The chocolate Lab Trigger.

[Rory Scovel]

All right.

[Josh Dean]

Murder.

[Rory Scovel]

A shooting.

[Josh Dean]

Close. It was a shooting, so I will give you a point there. Trigger, who's from Indiana, stepped on a 12 gauge shotgun while on a hunting trip. The safety of the gun was off, and he shot his owner in the foot.

[Rory Scovel]

And that's where you want to keep your gun, is wherever a dog would potentially be walking. That's all I've ever learned. As someone who's never taken one gun safety course, I know that's where you want to keep your gun.

[Josh Dean]

Well, no, no, number one. Number one is, like, definitely in your child's room, and number two is where your dog will be walking. Exactly.

[Rory Scovel]

Yeah. On the coffee table. Loaded.

[Josh Dean]

All right, so here's a local news clip featuring the most Indiana man I've ever seen or heard.

[Rory Scovel]

Thompson, who's been shooting guns for 50 years, believes Saturday's incident represents a lack

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of formal training that was more human error than anything. I mean, I've hunted with dogs and

[Rory Scovel]

stuff before and never had no problems.

[Bobcat Advertiser]

Train the dog or else get somebody to train the dog for.

[Rory Scovel]

Great timing on hearing a gunshot as that clip ends.

[Josh Dean]

Also train your dog. Yeah, Definitely not the dog's fault, right?

[Rory Scovel]

Oh, of course. I just. Let me just set this down on the ground real quick. I gotta run to the portalette.

[Josh Dean]

What could happen? I like that. That guy put on his nicest vest for the interview.

[Rory Scovel]

He knew. He knew they were coming.

[Josh Dean]

Okay, next up, what crime did Oreo, the one year old pit bull from Memphis, commit?

[Rory Scovel]

Well, you know, Oreo makes me think of the Hamburglar dressed in white and black stripes. So part of me wants to think Oreo got a little close to the grill. The most low stakes crime, grabbed a burger. That wasn't necessarily for them.

[Josh Dean]

I mean, technically theft, I think.

[Rory Scovel]

Yeah, theft.

[Josh Dean]

Yeah, yeah. Wrong shooting.

[Rory Scovel]

Oh, okay, so they're also. All right. Okay, grabbing the theme now.

[Josh Dean]

Okay, the 39 year old victim was, quote, relaxing and talking with a female friend on his bed.

[Rory Scovel]

Love that.

[Josh Dean]

When Oreo jumped up to join them. Okay, this gets weirder the more I read. I guess there was also a loaded gun in the bed, too, because the dog's paw got stuck in the trigger, discharging the gun. Oreo's owner was grazed in the thigh.

[Rory Scovel]

Oh, so fortunate. But again, as someone who's never taken a gun safety course, I know the three places you want to leave your gun are on the ground and in your bed and on a coffee table.

[Josh Dean]

Oh, my God. America. Okay, so that's two near misses by violent gun crazed canines. Finally, we have Charlie the Rottweiler mix.

[Rory Scovel]

Oh, here we go.

[Josh Dean]

What did he do, Rory?

[Rory Scovel]

I mean, I want to say jumped on a gun and shot somebody. So I, you know, just for. I'm gonna. I bet it's a curveball, but I'm gonna go with that. I'm gonna play. I'm gonna play the odds here.

[Josh Dean]

No, you're right. We should have tricked you, but we didn't.

[Rory Scovel]

Yes, yes, perfect.

[Josh Dean]

This one happened on a hunting trip also. Okay, Charlie's owner was sitting in his truck and his rifle was in the backseat with three dogs, one of which was named Charlie. Somehow, while waiting to go chase jackrabbits, Charlie's paw got stuck in the trigger and he shot his dad in the back. Good Lord.

[Rory Scovel]

I just. I don't. I mean, maybe some gun owners don't have any faith that something bad can happen with a gun. I don't know what that is.

[Josh Dean]

Let's review. So, loaded gun in the backseat along with three animals that move around a lot.

[Rory Scovel]

Yeah. That are definitely not wearing seat belts.

[Josh Dean]

Yeah. So. So he could have put the gun in the front seat with him and no dogs. Instead, he put it in the back seat with three dogs and shocker, they shot him.

[Rory Scovel]

Yeah, or in the trailer or whatever.

[Josh Dean]

Fortunately, dad also lived. So dogs are just terrible assassins. That's the first lesson this week. Like, don't hire a dog to kill somebody. Yeah, they'll fail.

[Rory Scovel]

And let's not. Let's not act like dogs are dumb. That could have been a premeditated attempt at, like, finally getting a move to a new home.

[Josh Dean]

Yeah, maybe he was a dick.

[Rory Scovel]

Maybe. Maybe the dogs don't like hunting. You know, maybe. Maybe that's sort of the theme here. As opposed to the bedroom one.

[Josh Dean]

Right. Yeah. I don't know what that will be sending. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't like her.

[Rory Scovel]

Get her out of our house.

[Josh Dean]

Okay, in all seriousness, these are all freak accidents. I will tolerate no dog slander on this podcast.

[Rory Scovel]

I won't either.

[Lane Rose]

Either.

[Josh Dean]

Very little good in the world. But dogs make up 90% of what good there is. The other 10%, of course, stand up comedy and podcasts.

[Rory Scovel]

Thank you.

[Josh Dean]

Or if maybe we should save a few percent for Burning man.

[Rory Scovel]

Also. Thank you.

[Josh Dean]

So a crime list gets political for a second warning. This isn't a dog problem or a dog mental health problem. Pretty sure it's a gun problem. Yeah. Since 2014, 23 people in the United States have been shot by dogs, according to GVPedia, a nonprofit dedicated to gun violence prevention. And in case you were wondering, America is far and away the leader in cases of dogs shooting people, which is a sentence I can't believe I just said with a straight face.

[Rory Scovel]

So are you saying in 11 years, 14 people have been shot by pets?

[Josh Dean]

23 people.

[Rory Scovel]

23 people. Here's what's so crazy. Because we're the United States of America with a billion guns. Is that actually a pretty decently low number? Like, I know all the other countries are at zero, but it's like, I

[Josh Dean]

mean, fair point, fair point. In the context of America, not that bad.

[Rory Scovel]

Honestly, Michael Jordan's number, That's pretty cool.

[Josh Dean]

Anywhere else, they're like, are you fucking kidding me? 23 dogs?

[Rory Scovel]

If it was one, they'd be like, come on, America. We're like, now we got times 23. That amount.

[Josh Dean]

Look at you coming back from Burning man with a positive attitude, putting just a happier spin on all this bad news.

[Rory Scovel]

Hey, maybe we're not so wrong with all these guns. I have the weirdest take after coming from Burning Man. Maybe guns do serve a purpose.

[Josh Dean]

All right, so let's. Let's put a pin in puppies. Undecided. Maybe a little too dangerous for our pet.

[Rory Scovel]

Probably a better phrase than let's put a pin in puppies.

[Josh Dean]

All right, well, there's the clip at the top of the show.

[Rory Scovel]

Let's put a pin in puppies. All right, Josh has changed. Josh I came back to a different Josh.

[Josh Dean]

Well, let's kick those puppies aside. Just slap them out of the way and. All right, so maybe you're thinking after all these dogs and guns, that we should get a cat.

[Rory Scovel]

Oh, all right.

[Josh Dean]

Not so fast. I did find at least one instance in this case in Michigan of a man getting shot by his cat.

[Rory Scovel]

Same. Same sort of deal.

[Josh Dean]

Well, in 2005, a guy named Joseph Stanton left a 9 millimeter handgun on his kitchen counter. Also on the list of places to store your guns.

[Rory Scovel]

Right? Yeah. This falls under coffee table. Okay.

[Josh Dean]

It's like a tall coffee table.

[Rory Scovel]

A tall coffee table is how they label this.

[Josh Dean]

And so then one of his cats did what cats love to do. He jumped up on the counter and knocked the first thing he saw off the counter. In this case, unfortunately, that thing was a gun, and it discharged when it hit the floor. Stan was shot in his lower torso, but was rushed to the hospital and survived. And the cat actually gained one life in this scenario. If you could.

[Rory Scovel]

Yeah, that's right. A one up.

[Josh Dean]

But anyway, the real worry with cats is not accidents. We should be worried about very, very intentional acts of violence, because a 2021 study published in the Journal of Research and Personality found that all cats are psychopaths.

[Rory Scovel]

Yeah, that's the only study I've ever understood that is completely correct.

[Josh Dean]

So researchers in the uk, doing the Lord's work here, surveyed pet owners to rate their cat's level of psychopathy. They asked questions like, does your cat torment its prey rather than killing it straight away? Is it undeterred by punishment? Does it vocalize for no apparent reason? And as someone who owns a cat, I can say yes to all of the above? Absolutely. Every time I've seen my cat with a mouse, refuses to kill the mouse, throws it around, up in the air, smacks it around, and then gets very sad when it ultimately dies of its injuries.

[Rory Scovel]

Yeah.

[Josh Dean]

Doesn't eat it.

[Rory Scovel]

Yeah.

[Josh Dean]

So researchers believe this psychotic behavior is a matter of evolution, that being a big, fluffy jerk was helpful in securing food, territory, even mating, I guess. Yeah, that's like a big. I'm sure there's a. There's a whole part of the manosphere that would say we should all act more like cats.

[Rory Scovel]

Mm. Mm.

[Josh Dean]

Not a burning man.

[Rory Scovel]

I mean, we all do in our own. We've all been standoffish before.

[Josh Dean]

Notice I'm not saying that these cats are smart psychopaths. This is crimeless. After all, these are dumb jerks. Yep. For example, in 2021, the Metropolitan Fire and disaster department in Seoul, South Korea reported that cats caused more than 100 house fires in the previous three years.

[Rory Scovel]

Oh, I never thought about that.

[Josh Dean]

Yep. So a good portion of these fires were caused by cats messing with stovetop knobs or stepping on electronic buttons of an appliance.

[Rory Scovel]

Oh, man. New fear unlocked. Thank you, Josh.

[Josh Dean]

Yep. So I guess we need those, like, child prevention safety things on our knobs.

[Rory Scovel]

Yeah.

[Josh Dean]

Yeah. And I guess probably the. The more electronic things get, the easier it is for cats to burn your house down.

[Rory Scovel]

And also, we'll never know if these were, you know, going against what you just said. These might not be stupid. Ca.

[Josh Dean]

Maybe they weren't accidents.

[Rory Scovel]

So you're saying these might be like ones like, oh, you're going out tonight. Why don't you go fuck yourself? I'm burning the house down. Oh, no more treats. We'll see about that.

[Josh Dean]

I mean, the one flaw in that plan is that I think cats are highly flammable and they can't get out of the house without you letting them. So they're like, oh, fuck.

[Rory Scovel]

Okay. So smart, vindictive and stupid.

[Josh Dean]

Yeah, right.

[Rory Scovel]

Just a collision.

[Josh Dean]

Sort of like. I'll show you. Yeah. And also me.

[Rory Scovel]

Yeah, I'll show me.

[Josh Dean]

So to summarize so far, a dog could shoot you, A cat could burn down your house.

[Rory Scovel]

Yeah.

[Josh Dean]

Also logistically, I think pretty hard to ship or cat or dog back and forth between Colorado and New York.

[Rory Scovel]

Good point.

[Josh Dean]

So after the break, we're going to go back to the drawing board and find a more reasonable animal to be the crimeless mascot.

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[Josh Dean]

welcome back to Crimeless. Today, we're learning that we should be very afraid of the adorable fur balls we welcome into our home. But we're also on the hunt for the next greatest dumbest animal criminal.

[Rory Scovel]

This is going to give a leg up to guinea pigs. That's what this episode's going to do. A lot of people are going to pivot and go, let's just get a guinea pig.

[Josh Dean]

Not in Peru, because they eat them there.

[Rory Scovel]

Okay. Or from Peru to save their life. Then you can say you had a rescue guinea pig because that's the identity we all want. We all want to say we rescued a pet. God, that's got to be the worst. You're like, I rescued this dog and then what happened? It shot me with my gun.

[Josh Dean]

Because it grew up on the mean streets.

[Rory Scovel]

Yeah.

[Josh Dean]

What kind of pets did you have growing up?

[Rory Scovel]

We never had pets. My dad was, like, very allergic to dogs. We always wanted a dog. We sort of had one, but it stayed with my grandparents and it was a sheep dog, giant, Fluffy, so fun named Ralph. But that was kind of it. That was really all the pets we had until my current dog. So a big part of me looks at my current dog is really my first pet. First dog.

[Josh Dean]

Wow.

[Rory Scovel]

Yeah.

[Josh Dean]

You were denied so much love and joy.

[Rory Scovel]

Got to say, I do love the what you get from a dog. I mean, that unconditional love is like, there's a little lesson to learn in there. We as people.

[Josh Dean]

The only other place you see that is the playa.

[Rory Scovel]

You're only going to get that out on the playa, folks. Dog like behavior through the filter of a human.

[Josh Dean]

All right, so I was going to run through some, like, small pets. I thought maybe you had some of these, but I guess not. So this. This will all be new to you, but I will.

[Rory Scovel]

I'll be very verbal and vocal about my distaste for some of these pets.

[Josh Dean]

Okay. That's not a. That's not a guinea pig joke. Just gross.

[Rory Scovel]

Hate them.

[Josh Dean]

I prefer them fried.

[Rory Scovel]

Yeah.

[Josh Dean]

Oh, man, we're going to get so many letters sandwich.

[Rory Scovel]

Sandwich form hamsters. Yeah. I mean, sure I don't get it. I don't get it as a pet, but I bet it's fun. I don't know.

[Josh Dean]

Oh, wait till I tell you this. Hamsters are known to eat their own babies.

[Rory Scovel]

So there you go. I was right. So I was right in sort of perceiving their evil without even knowing it.

[Josh Dean]

Hard to relate to that. You're a parent, but that's hard to relate to that.

[Rory Scovel]

Right. I've never once wanted to eat my child. It's just. It's never come up.

[Josh Dean]

So hamster moms can have up to 20 babies in one litter, so I guess she has a few to spare if she gets hungry. A little hungry, but let's cross hamsters off the list. Too violent?

[Rory Scovel]

Yeah.

[Josh Dean]

That's intentional violence.

[Rory Scovel]

Yeah.

[Josh Dean]

We're going to move on. How about ferrets?

[Rory Scovel]

I bet ferrets can be fun. And I only say that because I loved that movie Beastmaster.

[Josh Dean]

Do you remember that?

[Rory Scovel]

No. You've never seen Beastmaster?

[Josh Dean]

No, I have not.

[Rory Scovel]

Born with the strength of a black tiger. Josh, you haven't lived till you've seen a movie set in a very weird distant future. And the guy has two ferrets that help him out.

[Josh Dean]

They talk.

[Rory Scovel]

Nope. No, Nope. But he talks to them, and they seem to understand what he needs.

[Josh Dean]

Putting it on my list.

[Rory Scovel]

Yeah.

[Josh Dean]

Well, apparently not filmed in California, Puerto Rico, or Hawaii, because it's straight up illegal to own a ferret as a pet in those places. Oh, and some municipalities also ban ferrets, like New York City. So this pets out for me.

[Rory Scovel]

Okay.

[Josh Dean]

And if you wonder why are they illegal? Because these long, skinny dudes pose a threat to native wildlife.

[Rory Scovel]

Yeah. What are they? What's their prey? Is that what it's about?

[Josh Dean]

Yeah, I mean, I think they're only semi domesticated. I mean, they're basically weasels, I think, which kill.

[Rory Scovel]

Yeah. What is the difference, Lane?

[Josh Dean]

You know the difference. Ferret and weasel.

[Rory Scovel]

And you're not allowed to look it up. Lane, you're not allowed to look it up.

[Lane Rose]

I. I don't know the difference if I'm not allowed to look it up.

[Rory Scovel]

Fair enough.

[Josh Dean]

Let's say smaller, like a ferret you

[Rory Scovel]

interpret as cuter, and a weasel, you just interpret as wearing one of those, like, bandanas with the eyes cut out so they can go steal stuff.

[Lane Rose]

A ferret is a domesticated European polecat, while weasels are wild animals belonging to the same Mustella genus.

[Josh Dean]

She didn't look that up.

[Lane Rose]

I didn't look. Yeah, no, no.

[Rory Scovel]

Mustela genus is A tattoo Lane recently got. So I fully believe that that's not new verb. That's not new verbiage for her.

[Josh Dean]

Also, by the way, in New York City, the native wildlife is rats and pigeons, so what the hell, we would all benefit from ferrets running around.

[Rory Scovel]

Yeah, you've got a. You've got a good argument to make.

[Josh Dean]

I'm going to become a single issue voter. That's what I want out of my next mayor. Let's legalize ferrets no matter what.

[Rory Scovel]

Just this one issue.

[Josh Dean]

All I care about.

[Rory Scovel]

Yeah.

[Josh Dean]

All right, let's move on to goldfish. Surely you had a goldfish at some point.

[Rory Scovel]

I kind of forgot about that. I definitely have had goldfish and they definitely all died, Every single one of them. I probably would say I've not had more than five goldfish till it took me that many lives to learn my lesson that I'm not a good caregiver.

[Josh Dean]

I mean, yeah, I was going to say this seems like a bad choice for us. For one thing, I think they're too dumb. Not very conniving.

[Rory Scovel]

Right.

[Josh Dean]

The only thing they do is make our kids very briefly happy at fairs. And then they die within days.

[Rory Scovel]

And then no one gets any joy from them. And then you come home and they're floating and you're like, that's not. That's not a relaxing fish.

[Josh Dean]

That's a dead fish. That. That's a lesson in life. So, yeah, we all. We all repeat that mistake. Well, anyway, it turns out they can also cause financial trouble. Credit card fraud, huh? I'm sure you're wondering what the hell are you talking about.

[Rory Scovel]

Now, that's what we call Josh throwing a curveball.

[Josh Dean]

Now, I don't think this is likely to happen to the average fish owner, but let me break it down for you. A famous YouTuber named Mutakami Rock. I may have to replace that in post.

[Lane Rose]

You can call him Maurice.

[Josh Dean]

I can call him Maurice?

[Lane Rose]

Yeah, that was also an option, but I just wanted to see you pronounce it.

[Josh Dean]

Lane just made me pronounce it once for laughs. We're going to call him Maurice. Does he go by Maurice or did we just decide.

[Lane Rose]

I just saw reports, AKA Maurice, and I was like, I don't know how

[Rory Scovel]

accurate that is, but Mutakimaru.

[Josh Dean]

I got closer that time.

[Lane Rose]

Sure.

[Josh Dean]

Okay. Anyway, so this guy Maurice, he's known for live streaming his pet fish playing video games. The account is rigged up to a motion tracking software that registers his fish's swimming patterns as control inputs. Oh, my God.

[Rory Scovel]

Yeah.

[Josh Dean]

You would think this wouldn't work, but in 2020, his fish actually beat the game Pokemon Sapphire after a 3,195 hour run. Jeez, how did this person land on this particular thing? I don't know, but probably made him affordable.

[Rory Scovel]

Is that a scientific breakthrough?

[Josh Dean]

I mean, if so, we have not heard about it. Maybe we're. We're telling science right now. Yeah, but anyway, for reference, a human gamer could finish it in about 30 hours. That's not.

[Rory Scovel]

Oh, never mind. Fish are stupid.

[Josh Dean]

They suck at Pokemon. That fish is terrible at video games. Yeah, if you're worried about the fish. By the way, Maurice switches out his fish players every 12 hours for their health, so he's on top of animal welfare here.

[Rory Scovel]

Oh, good thing he's letting them put in half a day before. Before the shifts end.

[Josh Dean]

Anyway, in 2023, the Mutakamaru Maurice channel. I'm just going to stop even trying. Okay.

[Rory Scovel]

Yep.

[Josh Dean]

Was streaming this fish playing another Pokemon game. And about five hours in, the game crashed while he was away, which gave the fish complete unsupervised access to the owner's Nintendo Switch. The fish swam over to the device's eShop, added 500 yen, a little under 4 bucks, and in the process exposed his owner's credit card information to the whole livestream.

[Rory Scovel]

Oh, wow.

[Josh Dean]

The fish then managed to use some of his reward points to buy a new avatar. A man playing Golf downloaded an N64 emulator. Then the fish clicked over to PayPal, sent a setup confirmation email, and then changed the account name from Mutakimaru to roll.

[Rory Scovel]

Wawawa Wawa wa. Was this. And this was live streaming the entire time. That is fascinating.

[Josh Dean]

Seven hours it was happening before Maurice realized it and shut it down.

[Rory Scovel]

This is the most fascinating thing I've ever heard in my life, to be quite frank. I mean, that's truly. You just like even just picturing the fish doing this is absurd. I can't even picture it properly.

[Josh Dean]

I mean, I think it was probably not. I can't believe I said a thing. It had to have not been purposeful. Like, I think the motion capture, like the fish doesn't know what it's doing, but the system has been set up so that its movements do certain things. So it's just swimming around moving a cursor, I think, which is just clicking randomly on things. Those things happen to be like, we

[Rory Scovel]

have a naysayer in our midst, listeners. Looks like we have a fish. Looks like we have a fish denier amongst us.

[Josh Dean]

A fish. Would that make You a fish truther?

[Rory Scovel]

I'm a fish. I'm actually a fish truther. And I actually should have said that before we even agreed to do this podcast together. I'm a big time fish truther.

[Josh Dean]

You're like, that fish knew exactly what it was doing.

[Rory Scovel]

I know Jaws as a movie. To me, that's a real fish. I'm a fish truther.

[Josh Dean]

So in your version, he purposefully opened a PayPal account?

[Rory Scovel]

No, I think. I don't know. I mean, maybe the fish, by playing that, I mean, I'd have to know, like, if the fish are able to interpret what their goals need to be in the game. I don't know. Do you think they're just by happenstance they beat the game?

[Josh Dean]

I don't know.

[Rory Scovel]

By just swimming around and those physical choices just happen to line up with the challenge of the game. I guess I'd have to see it and see the fish in action to decipher if I felt like that fish was making calculated decisions and I can't believe I just said that sentence. Josh,

[Josh Dean]

we got a lot of good out of context sentences to use at the top of this week's episode.

[Rory Scovel]

Use them all. Use every one of them.

[Josh Dean]

We'll just stack them. Waterfall.

[Rory Scovel]

Yeah.

[Josh Dean]

Yeah. The chaos stream lasted for seven hours before he shut it down. He was able to get his 500 yen back. Unclear if his reward points were refunded or how far and wide his credit card information was spread.

[Rory Scovel]

Right?

[Josh Dean]

Yeah. But this gave me an idea. We'll set up a bunch of fish and hook them up to our own motion tracking software and then set them up on some sports betting apps.

[Rory Scovel]

Oh, yeah.

[Josh Dean]

It can't be worse than us.

[Rory Scovel]

No, it's all luck anyways.

[Josh Dean]

Right? And we do things like bet for on our favorite teams, which people say you should never do. Yeah, man versus fish. Yeah, we'll do a live stream. You versus a fish.

[Rory Scovel]

Yeah. I like this.

[Josh Dean]

Who wins the most?

[Rory Scovel]

At least for the Super Bowl. Let's let a fish pick out.

[Josh Dean]

Yeah.

[Rory Scovel]

Who's going to win?

[Josh Dean]

All right. Lane, can we get someone to work on that motion tracking software?

[Lane Rose]

Yeah, Right on how it works.

[Josh Dean]

All right. I saved the best for last. How do you feel about birds?

[Rory Scovel]

I love birds.

[Josh Dean]

Okay.

[Rory Scovel]

I'm not an ornithologist. Is that the right word? I'm not a bird watcher, but the older I get, the more I respect birds.

[Josh Dean]

So parrots specifically. Fan of parrots?

[Rory Scovel]

I don't love parrots.

[Josh Dean]

That's my one exception.

[Lane Rose]

It's.

[Rory Scovel]

Look, I can't love everybody. Josh.

[Josh Dean]

During my hundreds of hours of grueling research in search of our perfect pet mascot, I dove into Reddit naturally, and I swam on down into the subreddit. R Backslash parrots.

[Rory Scovel]

That's the good alleyway to get into.

[Josh Dean]

And there was one user there in the same boat as us. He wrote, I'm looking for the perfect pet for me, and I've been thinking about parrots. What are some of the things people don't tell you before getting a parrot? What are you expecting to hear?

[Rory Scovel]

The answer for have you heard the noise a parrot makes? No, it's the fucking worst. They're like squawk or whatever you want to call it. It's. It's jarring.

[Josh Dean]

So the noisy, that's your main complaint, too loud noisy.

[Rory Scovel]

I'm going to go noisy.

[Josh Dean]

Yeah. First comment. You're going to be surprised by this one.

[Rory Scovel]

Good.

[Josh Dean]

They can literally masturbate.

[Rory Scovel]

All right. I didn't know it was going to be in the pro category.

[Josh Dean]

I thought there was going to be cons. Foot fetish is extremely common. Don't know whose feet yours are. Its.

[Rory Scovel]

And just to confirm and, and just ask the question, you said you got this all from a subreddit?

[Josh Dean]

Yeah. Okay. Correct.

[Rory Scovel]

Got it. Okay, just want to know the source.

[Josh Dean]

One Reddit user referred to parrots as, quote, eternal toddlers, while another referred to as African gray parrot. One popular breed as a three pound flying can opener.

[Rory Scovel]

Huh.

[Josh Dean]

Okay. I don't want to sell these birds short, though. They truly are incredible animals. Some species live up to 70 years, which is great.

[Rory Scovel]

Oh my God.

[Josh Dean]

Because that's at least how long this podcast will run.

[Rory Scovel]

Yeah, for sure. Well, per our contract, we have to do 70 years.

[Josh Dean]

The eternal toddler comment refers to their intelligence. Some compare it to that of a four year old, which, I mean, that's not that impressive. Honestly.

[Rory Scovel]

A bird that has the brain of a four year old. Yeah, I mean, I guess that is impressive, right?

[Josh Dean]

I actually don't.

[Rory Scovel]

I. I'm not gonna lie, I don't know how to interpret that information.

[Josh Dean]

Is that smart or not smart?

[Rory Scovel]

I mean, it is a bird with a very small brain, yet it has the intelligence of a four year old, which definitely has a much bigger brain

[Josh Dean]

and it has really long claws.

[Rory Scovel]

Also, what is our expectation of birds? They should be as smart as a 20 year old person.

[Josh Dean]

Like, what are we, what do we

[Rory Scovel]

want out of these parrots?

[Josh Dean]

I want my birds to have the intelligence, at least of a high schooler.

[Rory Scovel]

To be able to make you dinner yeah, yeah.

[Josh Dean]

Or to solve, like, geometry problems or a murder.

[Rory Scovel]

Yeah.

[Josh Dean]

Oh, to murder. Yeah. Pull a trigger. Don't you?

[Rory Scovel]

You just really just want it on your shoulder to be your friend, Walk around.

[Josh Dean]

Well, yeah. To look like a pirate.

[Rory Scovel]

Yes.

[Josh Dean]

Parrots are also extremely trainable. They can learn hundreds of words. So we'd have another potential co host on our hands.

[Rory Scovel]

Yes.

[Josh Dean]

President Andrew Jackson reportedly trained his African grey to squawk profanities and the parrot had to be escorted out of its owner's funeral due to persistent cursing.

[Rory Scovel]

Yep.

[Josh Dean]

That's a plus. I feel like.

[Rory Scovel]

I think that's pretty dope.

[Josh Dean]

The swear words are merely a party trick. What's more useful? And here we're starting to get into crimes. An alert parrot for your drug operation.

[Rory Scovel]

Little, little heads up.

[Josh Dean]

Yep. So, in 2019, a parrot in Brazil was taken into custody after it attempted to tip off its owners to a police raid. It cried, mum, the police. Not sure why this Brazilian parrot has a British accent. Mum.

[Rory Scovel]

Mum, the police. Bangers and mash want me. Bangers and mash. Police are here.

[Josh Dean]

They should have taught it a code word and not to say the cop. That's why it got arrested, because they.

[Rory Scovel]

Yeah.

[Josh Dean]

If it had said bangers and mash.

[Rory Scovel]

Yeah.

[Josh Dean]

That parrot would be free today.

[Rory Scovel]

And it also so willingly said that because it has no concept of the law anyway. So it didn't understand the consequence of the police and also what police even are.

[Josh Dean]

I feel like you've presented the defense for that parrot in court.

[Rory Scovel]

That's right, yes. What do you know the consequence? Do you know what the. Ultimately what happened to it?

[Josh Dean]

I don't. I don't know how long it was held in custody, nor if it was tried. I do know that an officer involved in the raid said as soon as the police got close, it started shouting and, oh, here's this is a loyal parrot. So since its arrest, it kept quiet. Cops couldn't get him to say a word.

[Rory Scovel]

Yeah.

[Josh Dean]

To which one person in Reddit wrote, he's a parrot, not a rat. Like it. Dope snitches get stitches. You know what they say.

[Rory Scovel]

That's right.

[Josh Dean]

My guess is that the owner of this parrot spent a lot of time and effort training him, because earlier this year, a lesser trained but just as cute parrot helped bring down a drug ring in Blackpool, England. Her name is Mango. And here's a video that police found of Mango. I don't know if you caught that, Rory, but Mango was saying 2 for 25, which police claim is the street price of cocaine.

[Rory Scovel]

Oh, That's a way better deal than what I've been. What I've heard. People are getting on the pliers out on the fly of people are. I mean, I don't know. Never mind.

[Josh Dean]

And in another video, Mango said this. What is he doing?

[Lane Rose]

He's hopping around with the money.

[Josh Dean]

Oh, he's got drug money in his bed. Putting it in the money counter, I think.

[Lane Rose]

Yeah, he's helping out.

[Rory Scovel]

Oh, Mango. All right.

[Josh Dean]

So thanks to Mango, 15 people were arrested in the drug bust with sentences totaling more than 103 years. I suspect this. I didn't see this, but the videos got online, I think, and the cops were like, wait a second.

[Rory Scovel]

I mean, don't these birds have the ability to throw their voices to sound exactly like a noise they hear pitch perfect? Like if you were teaching a bird something, they could almost say it back to you in your. Your voice? Almost.

[Josh Dean]

Can they?

[Rory Scovel]

I think so. I don't want to fully commit to that answer, and so I won't. And so I probably should have not even brought it up.

[Josh Dean]

So they do impressions like Rich Little, Is that what you're saying?

[Rory Scovel]

I think a lot of them are very Rich Little.

[Josh Dean]

Oh, so what do you think? Is the parrot? Should the parrot be our pet? Or will we just have to accept that there is no perfect crimeless mascot?

[Rory Scovel]

I mean, if there's a pet parrot that's just gonna talk back and offer, great, that squawking I just can't deal with. I just can't do it.

[Josh Dean]

Well, there are terms. Parrot breeders of America. If you've got a parrot that doesn't squawk but sounds like Rich Little and

[Rory Scovel]

has always wanted to host a podcast,

[Josh Dean]

send it here care of Lane after the break. Lane's games

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Sometimes all we want is more of the same. Like another round of golf played from a channel with 247 coverage. Another look at the garden and the deer as they pick their way through it, Another Taco Tuesday followed by a Whatever's in the Fridge Wednesday. And to get more of the same, all we need is a little help with adaptable care plans from qualified compassionate caregivers matched to your family's needs. Home Instead can help you and your passions stay home no matter what's on your horizon. Visit Home instead online for a better what's next?

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This is Bethenny Frankel from Just Be with Bethenny Frankel. Let me be blunt. Most dog food is junk. It just is. And I'm not feeding junk to Biggie and Smalls. That is why they eat just food for dogs. It's real, 100% human grade food with ingredients I actually recognize, not mystery pellets pretending to be healthy. And once I switched, the difference was obvious. Better digestion, better skin, more energy. Dogs who actually feel good instead of just surviving dinner. Here's the thing you care about quality. You make an intentional choice to be healthy. So why are you gambling with your dog's health? So let's think about our furry babies. Go to justfoodfordogs.com right now and get 50% off your first box. No code. Just try it. Because once you see the difference, you're not going back.

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[Josh Dean]

welcome back to Crimlyss. Today, Rory, we're ferret legging, the very real endurance sport of shoving a ferret down your pants. I've already started.

[Rory Scovel]

Oh, well, just kidding.

[Josh Dean]

That's not a fair. In my pants. I'm just happy to see you.

[Rory Scovel]

Oh. Even. Honestly, even more impressive,

[Josh Dean]

Lane, what are we actually doing today in addition to racking up HR violations?

[Rory Scovel]

Lane's games.

[Lane Rose]

Lane's games. Today on this segment, I don't actually have a game at all.

[Josh Dean]

Oh.

[Rory Scovel]

Oh.

[Lane Rose]

I have a special Q and A.

[Josh Dean]

A special Q and a special Q

[Lane Rose]

and A with a special guest expert that we are waiting for in this very moment. That should be hopping on pretty soon.

[Josh Dean]

Oh, is it a parrot?

[Lane Rose]

I don't know. Maybe.

[Josh Dean]

I hope it's a parrot.

[Rory Scovel]

Look at Lane playing games with us.

[Josh Dean]

Is it Mango?

[Lane Rose]

I wish it was. I wish it was Mango.

[Josh Dean]

We're all out for Mango. Mango's serving hard time.

[Lane Rose]

I'll tell you a little bit about the guest. She's 26 years old. She lives in. Here in Chicago.

[Rory Scovel]

Oh, you. Oh, you weren't lying when you said you would tell us a little bit about things.

[Lane Rose]

A little bit, yeah.

[Josh Dean]

I still think it's a parrot, for the record. Let's see. Yeah, I don't know, Rory, you have a guess of what? What's happening here?

[Rory Scovel]

I mean, 26 years old.

[Josh Dean]

You're right.

[Rory Scovel]

I mean, now that we know that parrots can live to 70.

[Josh Dean]

Yeah, it should just be like a. Well, they basically are lifespan, so it's like a. It would be a college student parrot.

[Lane Rose]

She's texting me now. Or her assistant's texting me now.

[Josh Dean]

It's definitely a parrot.

[Lifelock Advertiser]

Or.

[Josh Dean]

Or it's an animal of some kind. Obviously. But what other animal could possibly participate in a game? That's what I would like to know.

[Lane Rose]

There she is.

[Josh Dean]

Hey, Rory, look.

[Rory Scovel]

Oh, no, this is Shamrock. Shamrock.

[Josh Dean]

Hello.

[Rory Scovel]

Hello.

[Josh Dean]

Okay.

[Lane Rose]

Yeah, Shamrock. Shamrock's my neighbor. She lives in Chicago.

[Rory Scovel]

Oh, my God.

[Josh Dean]

Hi, Shamrock.

[Rory Scovel]

Owl rock. Oh.

[Josh Dean]

Oh, that works me. What? What?

[Lane Rose]

Oh, yeah, that's a really good point. Shamrock.

[Rory Scovel]

Shamrock. Is there anything you want to. You want to ask us when you said Q and A? Lane, are we asking Shamrock or Shamrock?

[Lane Rose]

Asking us either way, if you have some questions for her. She knows a lot about parrots.

[Rory Scovel]

Oh, Shamrock, do you feel if you were ever going to participate in a criminal activity, you would be on the side of the criminal or on the side of just. That's what I thought. I thought you'd give me sort of velociraptor style response.

[Lane Rose]

Josh, do you have any questions for Shamrock?

[Josh Dean]

Shamrock, what kind of bird are you?

[Rory Scovel]

What if just in a crystal clear voice, Shamrock was like, rory, I don't care for your stand up, and I have to live with that.

[Josh Dean]

Rory, I'm more of a Dane cook parrot.

[Rory Scovel]

I like Dane. Oh, all right. Have you heard my stuff? You might like it.

[Josh Dean]

So, Rory, you want to describe Shamrock to the people who don't have video.

[Rory Scovel]

So everyone who doesn't have video, you're missing out on a wildly vibrant green and yellow, really beautiful. I see where Shamrock comes from. Beautiful parrot. And I also like that this owner provides Shamrock with a great deal of freedom. There's not a lot of birds you see on top of the cage, but Shamrock has earned this freedom. I can tell.

[Lane Rose]

So Shamrock's a yellow named Amazon parrot. Oh.

[Rory Scovel]

Oh, okay.

[Lane Rose]

And holding the phone is her assistant, Andrew.

[Rory Scovel]

Thank you, Andrew.

[Lane Rose]

Andrew's a volunteer from the Greater Chicago Caged Bird Rescue and Adoption.

[Josh Dean]

Oh, my.

[Lane Rose]

Shamrock's great. Shamrock's the only guest we've ever had on this podcast.

[Josh Dean]

It's true. Our first guest.

[Public Investing Advertiser]

Yeah.

[Rory Scovel]

And it's. And this is where it ends.

[Josh Dean]

We're setting quite a bar. All right, thank you, Andrew.

[Lane Rose]

All right. Thank you, Andrew.

[Rory Scovel]

Sure thing.

[Josh Dean]

Good meeting on you. Nice to meet you.

[Lane Rose]

Bye.

[Rory Scovel]

Bye.

[Josh Dean]

So if you adopt Shamrock, Rory, 26. That means if it were to live to 80, it has another. Is that 54 years? So you would be how old in 54 years?

[Rory Scovel]

Well, I'm 45 now, so 99, baby.

[Josh Dean]

So your child will be inheriting that birth.

[Rory Scovel]

That's exactly right. Oh, all right.

[Josh Dean]

Thanks, Lane. That was. That was a nice surprise.

[Rory Scovel]

Thank you.

[Josh Dean]

I enjoyed my time with Shamrock.

[Rory Scovel]

Same.

[Lane Rose]

I think Shamrock had fun too.

[Rory Scovel]

All right,

[Josh Dean]

Crimeless is a production of Smartless Media, Campside Media, and Big Money Players in partnership with iHeart podcasts. It's hosted by Rory Scoville and me, Josh Dean. Our senior producer is Lane Rose. Emma Siminoff is our associate producer. This episode was written by Lane Rose and me, Josh Dean. We're sound, designed and engineered by Blake Brook with support from Ewan leitram.

[Bobcat Advertiser]

Ewan.

[Josh Dean]

Mark McAdam composed our theme song. The executive producers at Campside Media are Vanessa Gregoriadis. Matt Sher and me, Josh Dean. The executive producers for iHeart Podcast and Big Money Players are Jack O', Brien, Lindsey Hoffman and Matt Apodaca. For Smartless Media, the executive producers are Will Arnett, Jason Bateman, Sean Hayes and Richard Corson. Bernie Kaminski is head of production. The associate producer is Matty McCann. A special thanks to our operations team, Ashley Warren and Sabina Mara. Do you have a question, comment or confession for the Crimeless team? Email [e-mail] and if you enjoyed Crimeless, please rate and review the show wherever you get your podcasts. It helps people find the show and also makes us feel validated. Unless you're mean, in which case keep it to yourself. We'll see you next week. Crimeless Nation.

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[Josh Dean]

Watch us.

[Bobcat Advertiser]

They set standards, broke records, empowered people to build bigger and higher, to dig deeper, to make the impossible possible. We've all been there with doubters telling us what we can't do. Who cares what they think? We don't need their permission or forgiveness. We just get things done. So go ahead and doubt me. Judge me, challenge me. But when the time comes, watch me.

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