DUIs for dummies

Summary

CrimeLess Podcast Summary

Episode: "DUIs for Dummies"

Release Date: June 24, 2026
Hosts: Rory Scoville (comedian) & Josh Dean (journalist, true crime podcaster)
Producer/Contributor: Lane Rose

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Episode Overview

"DUIs for Dummies" dives headfirst into the wild, weird, and legally dubious world of driving under the influence, riffing on celebrity DUI mugshots, the science of evading (or failing to evade) DUI charges, and an international buffet of bizarre, sometimes ingenious “better-not-try-this-at-home” attempts to beat the rap. True to CrimeLess’s signature blend, the episode delivers laughs, fascinating tidbits, and plenty of “did you know?” moments, while firmly reminding listeners: this is not an instruction manual.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Celebrity DUI Mugshot Showdown

[02:24–11:08]

• Kickoff with famous DUI stories:
  • Britney Spears, Justin Bieber, Paris Hilton, Khloe Kardashian, Lindsay Lohan, Michael Phelps, Tiger Woods, Nick Nolte, and Justin Timberlake.
  • The hosts riff on mugshots, from Bieber’s “weirdly innocent” smile to Nick Nolte’s hair and horrifying shirt.
  • RE: Justin Bieber

    “All of us who did not have millions of dollars and were not in charge of adults—we were also dicks with no power.” — Rory [04:13]

  • Michael Phelps’ “SUI” (swimming under the influence) joke and Tiger Woods’ public struggles.
  • Nick Nolte's arrest involved club drug GHB and "the best mugshot in history."

    "Who's to say he wasn't recently electrocuted?" — Rory on Nolte’s hair [06:43]

• Timberlake Arrest:
  • Timberlake’s “AI-looking” mugshot widely meme’d online.
  • After being pulled over, Timberlake supposedly said:

    “‘This is going to ruin the tour,’ and the cop said, ‘What tour?’” — Josh [09:48]

  • Legal outcomes: Ultimately pleaded to a DWAI (“Driving With Ability Impaired”).

2. Can You Beat a DUI?

[11:09–19:54]

• Best Method to “Beat” a DUI in the Moment
  • Comedic suggestions: Run for it.
  • Actual legal strategies discussed (spoiler: rarely work).
  • The infamous South Korean soju chugging incident:
    • Man pulls over, chugs a bottle of soju in 39 seconds in front of cops so it's unclear if he was drunk “before” or only “just now.”
    • Police use the Widmark formula to estimate his BAC before chugging—science meets legal defense.
    • He wins in court:

      "The judge decided it was impossible to determine how intoxicated the man was while driving based on circumstantial evidence or speculation. So he won." — Josh [15:52]

  • However, new Korean law (post-2024) added tough penalties for “alcohol rinsing” to obstruct breath tests.
    • The case of singer Kim Hujong who tried to evade DUI and ended up in jail.
    • Moral: “Often, when you screw up, you gotta just own it.” — Josh [20:07]

3. DUI Parade of Weird Vehicles

[31:18–41:44]

• Lawnmower DUI (Florida, 2012)
  • 68-year-old James David Gray caught driving his riding mower drunk, having downed 14 Natural Ices over two miles.
  • Fifth DUI, fell asleep while driving opposite traffic, “open beer in the cup holder.”
  • Commentary: “If we're going to consider Natural Ice alcohol...it’s mostly water, folks.” — Rory [32:45]
• Barbie Car DUI (England, 2010)
  • Forty-year-old Paul Hutton nabbed in Essex driving a modded electric Barbie car while over the limit.

  • “You have to be a contortionist…It is designed for three to five year olds…you can go much faster by just walking.” — Hutton via Rory/Josh [35:40]

• Motorized Recliner DUI (Minnesota, 2008)
  • 62-year-old Dennis Anderson’s 20mph armchair (with stereo, cupholders, and hot rod stickers) earns him a DUI and internet fame.
  • “This thing looks like a cheat code in Mario Kart.” — Rory [39:01]
  • Chair auctioned on eBay, almost listed as a La-Z-Boy until lawyers intervened.
• Theme: Anything motorized is fair game for a DUI in the US/UK. Hosts coin the term “Alternative Vehicles” (AVs).

4. Florida Man Minivan Antics

[20:31–27:03]

• Bizarre real case in Highlands County, Florida:
  • Suspect Richard Smith steals booze, drives in circles, offers a vodka spritz to pursuing deputy.
  • Proceeds to attempt to flee, gets tased, responds,

    “‘You guys had fun though, right?’” [25:16]

  • Sheriff's humor shines on Facebook; commentary on how policing content sometimes becomes viral entertainment.

5. Cocktail Trivia (“Lane’s Games: Alcohol Edition”)

[46:27–54:25]

• Lane quizzes the hosts on IBA-official cocktails:
  • Margarita:

    “Tequila, lime juice, Grand Marnier or triple sec.” — Josh [48:27]

  • Mojito:

    “Rum, sugar, lime, soda water, mint.” — Josh [49:29]

  • French 75: Champagne, gin, simple syrup, lemon juice.
  • Long Island Iced Tea:

    “Vodka, gin, rum, tequila, triple sec, and cola.”

  • Monkey Gland: gin, orange juice, grenadine, dash of absinthe; wacky Prohibition history.
  • What’s a BORG? (Blackout Rage Gallon):

    "A DIY alcoholic mixture among college students where you get a jug of water, some liquor, and flavoring." — Lane [53:06]

  • TikTok doctors say BORG is “harm-reductive” because of the water content, hosts are deeply skeptical.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On celebrity mugshots:
  "If I looked like [Justin Timberlake’s mugshot], I would send that out as my headshot." — Rory [08:53]
• On fleeing DUIs:
  "Run. That's the best way. That's the best way that works out." — Rory [11:19]
• On legal science:
  "Get this Swedish guy. Get Widmark out of my courtroom." — Rory [16:11]
• On alternative vehicle DUIs:
  "It feels like you're arguing on our behalf—your honor, no one was in danger here." — Rory [37:26]
• On the viral minivan DUI & social media:
  "Some of our police departments have pretty good senses of humor. I was highly entertained by all of that." — Josh [27:03]
• On the BORG (Blackout Rage Gallon):
  "Official drink of Crimeless—the blackout rage gallon." — Josh [54:11]

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Important Timestamps

• [02:24] — Main episode begins: Celeb DUI review
• [12:48] — South Korea soju-chugging defense
• [15:14] — Widmark formula explained
• [19:00] — New Korean “alcohol rinsing” law
• [20:31] — Florida minivan pursuit with vodka spritz
• [31:18] — Non-car DUI stories: Lawnmower, Barbie Car, Recliner
• [46:27] — Lane’s Cocktail Trivia Game
• [53:06] — BORG explained

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Tone, Style, and Warnings

• Light-hearted, irreverent, and quick-witted.
• Frequent reminders: do NOT try any of these at home (“Don’t drink and drive. We’re not celebrating the actions, only the aftermath.” [12:19])
• Occasional political/critical asides (re: body cam footage, Florida).

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Takeaways

• DUIs are possible on almost anything that moves (mowers, motorized recliners, Barbie cars).
• Celebrity justice is...flexible, especially with a good lawyer.
• Legal advice from comedians is not advice—riffs on science and law are educational but tongue-in-cheek.
• New legal responses emerge to plug loopholes (e.g., post-2024 Korean law targeting “alcohol rinsing”).
• “Alternative vehicles” offer a goldmine of absurd criminal stories—and proof that Florida is a bottomless well.

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For Listeners

If you’re curious about “how not to get a DUI” (hint: there isn’t really a foolproof way), or just want to laugh at the weirdest ways people have tried, failed, or almost succeeded, this episode is a wild, trivia-rich ride full of true crime oddities, legal loophole lore, and memorable mugshots.

“It's just some good, verbal fun. No one was injured in any of these stories. That doesn't mean it's okay.” — Josh [12:30]

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End of Summary

Transcript

[Podcast Announcer]

This is an iHeart podcast.

[Rory Scoville]

Guaranteed Human.

[Josh Dean]

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[Cal Penn]

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[Rory Scoville]

profile would be my DUI pick.

[Josh Dean]

Campsite media smart. All right, well, I'm going to start today with a very hard hitting personal question. Rory, have you ever gotten a dui.

[Rory Scoville]

I have not.

[Josh Dean]

Okay.

[Rory Scoville]

But, boy, have I gotten close. I've been eligible and I'm not proud of that, even though I just said it as though I'm proud. I'm not. But I have been eligible as many of us, and I'm fortunate that I changed my ways.

[Josh Dean]

I wouldn't have judged you even if you had. And I'm not judging you now that you almost have.

[Rory Scoville]

Yeah.

[Commercial Voice 1]

Thank you.

[Rory Scoville]

Thank you for this safe space.

[Josh Dean]

And you'd be in some fine company if you had because I'm just going to give you a short list of famous people who've.

[Rory Scoville]

I'll go ahead and answer right away. Florida, if that's the question.

[Josh Dean]

Well, that's coming up, so wait.

[Rory Scoville]

Right. Yeah.

[Josh Dean]

Yeah.

[Rory Scoville]

Oh, that answer's later.

[Josh Dean]

I'm just running through a list here. We're not going to get into the details until the end. So we'll start with, of course, Britney Spears arrested under suspicion last week. Again, as we are recording this, at least DUI under suspicion of she's previously had them. And she was arrested on Sunset Boulevard, I believe, which is streets where celebrities are most commonly picked up.

[Rory Scoville]

That's right. Yeah.

[Josh Dean]

Then there's Justin Bieber, who got a DUI in 2014, when I feel like he must have been very young.

[Commercial Voice 1]

Yeah.

[Josh Dean]

Then he posed for one of my all time favorite mug shots was, I'm going to share with you now, or Lane is going to. If she can look at that guy.

[Rory Scoville]

I actually like that quite a bit.

[Josh Dean]

I do, too. He looks so happy and good and like.

[Rory Scoville]

Yeah.

[Josh Dean]

It's also a different Bieber. Those are more innocent.

[Rory Scoville]

Bieber. I got to say, I went through a phase of being like, you know what? Screw this guy. But the more that I. I've thought about it in my older age, like this guy was a millionaire who as a teenager had millions of dollars and was in charge of adults and was. Obviously you'd be a bit of a dick, of course, because all of us who did not have millions of dollars and were not in charge of adults, we were also dicks with no power.

[Josh Dean]

Exactly. I think it's amazing when a young successful person turns out normally because it's almost impossible.

[Lane Rose]

Yeah.

[Rory Scoville]

And I mean, I don't know him and you could tell me my perception of him is awful. But I don't know, I kind of like his music now and I feel like he's turned it around and I think he's kind of like, oh, man, I grew up under very bizarre circumstances.

[Josh Dean]

Yeah. I mean, I think he was like, 12 years old when he became extremely famous.

[Rory Scoville]

Yes. Like, his whole life has been in his spotlight.

[Josh Dean]

All right, well, speaking of young people who didn't handle fame very well, we also have. We had Paris Hilton in 2006, Khloe Kardashian in 2007, Lindsay Lohan in 2008, who I believe really struggled with. Again, way too much, too young.

[Rory Scoville]

Yeah.

[Josh Dean]

Here the bit of a surprise, we had Michael Phelps in 2014, who was pulled over doing 84 and a 45.

[Rory Scoville]

I mean, guys, he only knows speed.

[Amy Eric]

True.

[Rory Scoville]

Because of the gold medals and. And being the fastest and whatnot.

[Josh Dean]

Oh, he was swimming.

[Lady Luck]

He was.

[Rory Scoville]

He was swimming at 84 miles.

[Josh Dean]

It was an SUI.

[Rory Scoville]

I think I'm okay with Michael Phelps. I mean, if you're a gold Olympian, like, what are we going to do? You can't wrangle those people.

[Josh Dean]

Well, speaking of athletes, we had Tiger woods, who's passed out behind the wheel in south Florida in 2017. He pretty much immediately went to rehab because I think that may not have been the only time turned it around. And then one of the Most famous celebrity DUIs has to be Nick Nolte because of his mug shot, which I'm going to share. I think you might remember this one had to inspire a lot of Halloween costumes.

[Rory Scoville]

I. A million percent remember it. And the hair, the face. It's fine. Where were you? Where everyone was okay with that shirt. You don't have one friend. You don't have one friend.

[Josh Dean]

It's the shirt, not the hair.

[Rory Scoville]

For you, the hair. I'm fine with the hair, honestly. Tell me you just got out of the shower, but that shirt, that tells me you just got out of the sun.

[Josh Dean]

My question about the hair. It looks like it would be very thin and kind of stringy, and yet it's stuck out to the sides as if it's been hairsprayed.

[Rory Scoville]

It does look like he put product in it that he doesn't know what to do with. Yeah, he thought you just put it in that you don't have to shape it. Also, who's to say he wasn't recently electrocuted?

[Josh Dean]

That is the other explanation. Also, the shirt. The pattern on the shirt doesn't exactly line up right. See, that yellow flower is just cut in half, and it runs into a pink flower. What's happening?

[Rory Scoville]

The top button seems strange with the collar. It kind of makes me feel like this is where Tim Robinson got the idea for that sketch from. I think you should leave the crazy shirt sketch.

[Josh Dean]

Well, you're gonna like this shirt. Even more when I tell you the backstory behind his arrest. Yeah, he wasn't actually drunk. He was on the club drug, GHB at the time. And here's what he wrote about it in his memoir titled Rebel. I took GHB prior to going to the gym for a long workout. He writes, a strong dose made me feel great, yet I knew I was repeating with GHB the addictive cycle I'd been in before. After the gym, Nick went to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting at a church near his house, and he started to feel extremely high during the meeting. So he's at AA. The GHB's really kicking in now. He barely remembers driving home. Six different drivers called 911 to report him and he was arrested on his way home from an AA meeting.

[Commercial Voice 1]

Yeah.

[Josh Dean]

So he owned it all. Later, I think he acknowledges the meme that he became.

[Rory Scoville]

I don't know enough about ghb, so I don't know if it. If it's one of those things that gives you a high and you drive like a lunatic, but if six people are calling, things aren't great. I'm like, what? What were you doing? What were you doing?

[Josh Dean]

And then two summers ago, we had Justin Timberlake out in Sag Harbor.

[Rory Scoville]

Oh, I forgot about that.

[Josh Dean]

This mug shot became a meme. We'll show you this one, too. I don't know if you remember this one. Looking a little glassy eyed.

[Rory Scoville]

That looks so. AI.

[Josh Dean]

It does. You're right.

[Rory Scoville]

It looks like someone was hired to do a Madame Trousseau's of Jude Law, but screwed it up. Like, was aiming for Jude Law and then had to settle on Timberlake.

[Josh Dean]

Like, the eyes do look AI. Even though I believe they're also just glassy, because I think they're just glassy.

[Rory Scoville]

He's probably baked. I'm not going to lie. I genuinely think this is a good looking photo.

[Josh Dean]

It is a good looking picture.

[Rory Scoville]

Like, if I looked like that, I would send that out as my headshot.

[Josh Dean]

That would be your Tinder profile pick.

[Rory Scoville]

My Tinder profile would be my DUI pick.

[Josh Dean]

I mean, I agree. It's like Bieber's. Bieber look great too.

[Rory Scoville]

Like, I mean, look, good hair, good facial hair. I like the salt and pepper he's doing with the chin there.

[Josh Dean]

It's good. Yeah, I agree.

[Rory Scoville]

It's a good look.

[Josh Dean]

Well, the Internet had a lot of fun with this one.

[Rory Scoville]

He's got perfect ears. Really? Look at that. Look at how perfect his ears are.

[Josh Dean]

We're going to Put this one on the Instagram with.

[Rory Scoville]

I already knew Justin Timberlake was attractive. Like, we all know that. It's a part of his brand. But this is a good, mature, attractive.

[Josh Dean]

Like, he's aged into his look.

[Rory Scoville]

He's aged into it. Nice.

[Josh Dean]

Nti, not so much.

[Rory Scoville]

No. So let that be a lesson, folks. Pot over thc, over ghb.

[Josh Dean]

Yeah, the Internet had fun with this one because. And I don't know how you totally approve this, but supposedly the cop who pulled him over didn't recognize him. And when JT said, this is going to ruin the tour, the cop said, what tour?

[Rory Scoville]

I do remember that.

[Josh Dean]

And he supposedly said, the world tour, which, by the way, was his first tour in five years. Kind of a big deal. So he was freaking out. I think that this DUI could legitimately screw up this. As someone who's been out on tour. Yeah, it could be a problem if you have to cancel a bunch of dates, I think, Right?

[Commercial Voice 1]

Yeah.

[Rory Scoville]

But I don't think anything got disrupted, right?

[Cal Penn]

No.

[Josh Dean]

In the end, he pleaded guilty to a lesser charge, a DW AI, which stands for Driving with Ability impaired. Which sounds kind of like a bullshit lawyer thing.

[Rory Scoville]

I love that AI is in there after we said that. Oh, driving while Artificially intelligent.

[Josh Dean]

Driving with Ability impaired. Seems kind of like the same thing.

[Rory Scoville]

It does seem like that cop made it up really quick just to get a selfie once he found out who it was. I'm going to give you a DWAI712.

[Josh Dean]

He was also fined, and he had ordered to complete 25 hours of community service. And he had to make a PSA about the dangers of driving while impaired.

[Rory Scoville]

There you go.

[Josh Dean]

So how did he dodge the lesser charge? He hired a very good lawyer. There's a pretty famous lawyer out in

[Rory Scoville]

the Hamptons that he could easily afford.

[Josh Dean]

Which brings me to a fun follow up. Okay, question.

[Rory Scoville]

Great.

[Josh Dean]

What is the best way to get out of a dui? And I will not accept. Hire the same lawyer as Justin Timberlake.

[Rory Scoville]

You're talking about in the moment.

[Josh Dean]

Yeah, in the moment.

[Rory Scoville]

I don't know.

[Josh Dean]

Run.

[Rory Scoville]

Okay. That's the best way. That's the best way that works out.

[Josh Dean]

Often run from cops?

[Rory Scoville]

Definitely. While impaired.

[Josh Dean]

Yeah.

[Rory Scoville]

When you're definitely at your worst in running.

[Josh Dean]

Imagine that. Nick Nolte running.

[Rory Scoville]

Yeah, I mean, that'd be pretty funny. I mean, if it's really ghb, I'd kind of like to see it.

[Josh Dean]

Yeah.

[Rory Scoville]

Like, Jesus, he just climbed that tree like a gorilla.

[Commercial Voice 1]

Wow.

[Josh Dean]

Or just like, he just Kool Aid man through A chain link fence just like.

[Rory Scoville]

Yeah. Oh, my God.

[Josh Dean]

All right, so I do have an answer for this, but I'm going to make you wait until after the titles because this week on Crimeless, we are making like Justin Timberlake and beating our DUIs, sort of. Okay, stay tuned. Hello and welcome to Crimeless, the podcast that celebrates the amazing creativity of the world's dumbest criminals and gives you the best possible legal advice for when you're pulled over for suspicion of driving under the influence. P.S. for the lawyers.

[Rory Scoville]

That's a joke.

[Josh Dean]

Don't drink and drive.

[Rory Scoville]

Don't do that.

[Josh Dean]

Folks, we're not celebrating the actions here. We're celebrating the aftermath.

[Rory Scoville]

We know we're having fun over here, but it's just that it's just some good verbal fun.

[Josh Dean]

No one was injured in any of these stories. That doesn't mean it's okay.

[Rory Scoville]

That's right.

[Josh Dean]

So, okay. I did wonder after thinking about jt, if there's a foolproof way to beat the rap if you ever do make this mistake. And I think I found the perfect case. Okay, for this one, we're going to leave the US and head all the way to South Korea, to Daegu.

[Rory Scoville]

Daegu or Daegu did not see this coming at all.

[Josh Dean]

In Daegu, South Korea, a 60 year old man is pulled over by cops who suspected that he'd been driving drunk. But this man was quick on his feet. He pulled over and he came up with a very clever plan to beat the rap. Any guess?

[Rory Scoville]

I really don't know. I don't know how you do it.

[Josh Dean]

Okay. He got out of the car and he chugged an entire bottle of soju in, according to witnesses who testified in court. 39 seconds.

[Rory Scoville]

That's a. Okay, I like this. I like what I'm hearing here.

[Josh Dean]

I don't know how big the bottle was, but 39 seconds. I guess he gets up, makes sure that they can see him and he chugs the bottle.

[Rory Scoville]

Yeah.

[Josh Dean]

So, yeah, I guess he's thinking, well, yeah, I'm going to blow. I'm going to fail this thing. But if I drink this bottle, then they don't know. What if I just got drunk now?

[Rory Scoville]

Yes. Right? Yeah.

[Josh Dean]

But the cops weren't deterred. They felt like they could still nail this guy. So we're going to get a little sciency. They took his blood alcohol at the station about 40 minutes later and used something called the Widmark formula.

[Commercial Voice 2]

Okay.

[Josh Dean]

To try and figure out how much booze he had before he chugged the soju so, as, of course, you know, the Widmark formula is named for the Swedish scientist Eric M.P. widmark.

[Rory Scoville]

I was going to say, because I was like, if you don't tell this audience, I'm going to tell them who

[Josh Dean]

was, of course, as you know, a pioneer in the field of forensic toxicology.

[Rory Scoville]

Forensic toxicology. Yeah.

[Josh Dean]

Yeah. And he figured out a way to calculate alcohol's absorption, distribution, and elimination in people to come up with a formula that can use a person's current blood alcohol and some other factors to estimate their blood alcohol at an earlier point of time in DUI cases.

[Rory Scoville]

Wow.

[Josh Dean]

So the Widmark formula calculates BAC using weight, gender, and the amount of alcohol consumed in a certain period. Stick with me here. The formula is as follows. Okay. When blood alcohol content equals alcohol consumed in grams, divided by body weight in grams times r times 100. When r equals gender. I got that.

[Rory Scoville]

Yeah, I. Obviously, I've got it.

[Josh Dean]

Yeah. Okay, so, by the way, r is gender. 0.55 for females and 0.68 for males.

[Rory Scoville]

Still with me. Okay, Duh. Right, Everybody that's listening. Duh.

[Josh Dean]

And grams of alcohol consumed is the number of drinks times 14.

[Rory Scoville]

Yeah, we all know. We all know that.

[Josh Dean]

It gets a little more complicated than that. Rory and I would need a chalkboard to explain. We'll save that for a bonus.

[Rory Scoville]

Oh, it gets more complicated than that. Okay, good.

[Josh Dean]

Good to know you got that part, right?

[Rory Scoville]

Good to know.

[Josh Dean]

0.55.

[Rory Scoville]

Yeah.

[Podcast Announcer]

Okay.

[Josh Dean]

One really fun fact I did learn is that everyone metabolizes alcohol at the same rate. It's 0.015 an hour, no matter who you are.

[Rory Scoville]

Oh, okay.

[Josh Dean]

Don't know how that is helpful to us, but that's interesting.

[Rory Scoville]

It is interesting. It does make it feel like the. The playing field is level. For some reason, I would have thought

[Josh Dean]

Nick Nolte metabolized it faster than Beaver, but no. Yeah, at the same rate, but no.

[Rory Scoville]

They're the same.

[Josh Dean]

Okay. Anyway, the Korean cops used this formula to determine that his blood alcohol before chugging the soju was above the legal limit at 0.03 and charged him. So our guy doesn't take it. He decides to go to court and fight.

[Rory Scoville]

Yep.

[Josh Dean]

And guess what, Rory? He won.

[Rory Scoville]

He wins. He wins.

[Josh Dean]

He wins. The judge decided it was impossible to determine how intoxicated the man was while driving based on circumstantial evidence or speculation. So he won.

[Rory Scoville]

So this judge was like, I don't care about your science. That does explain it.

[Josh Dean]

Get this. Get this Swedish guy. Get Widmark out of my courtroom.

[Rory Scoville]

Yeah, I guess. I mean, there you go.

[Josh Dean]

This, like, mumbo jumbo. Swedish science.

[Rory Scoville]

You know, this does remind me of when I was hit in a hit and run when I was in high school. I was going through an intersection that had just turned green, and someone was running through the red light. It spun my car, and then they drove off, and other cars followed them to get their license plate. And I remember when I met with the police officer before the. The court date, which they did not show up for. The officer said when he went to their house, he was like. They had clearly been drinking heavily. However, you cannot prove when they were drinking. And so they could easily argue they got into the accident, were so frazzled, went home, and started drinking as much as they could. And I was like, oh, that's. Yeah, I didn't know about Widmark as a high school kid. I would've go, I believe there is one test we can run, Mr. Widmark, perhaps. Yeah.

[Josh Dean]

Well, it's like you told that story because you knew it was coming next. You've teed up my good here.

[Rory Scoville]

Here we go.

[Josh Dean]

Because before you stuff your glove box full of soju and try this at home, I would be remiss if I didn't point out a different Korean story that pokes some holes in this strategy as a magic bullet. So this one is hot off the press. Just this month, a Korean actor named Lee Jae Rong, he's 62, was in the news for a similar story. He apparently ran into a divider, but took off and parked at his house, then went and met a friend for drinks. So that when cops caught up with him, he claimed he'd done all his drinking after the accident.

[Rory Scoville]

Yep.

[Josh Dean]

Cops found Lee at a friend's house about 2am, three hours after the crash. They took his blood alcohol, and it was allegedly high enough that he would lose his license if. If convicted. He claimed that he'd just been drinking with his friend. So basically, what you described, that person did. Yeah, he did. He's like, I'm going to park, get out of the car, go somewhere, and get drunk.

[Rory Scoville]

Yep.

[Josh Dean]

Well, in this case, unfortunately, I guess Lee caved under pressure because he later admitted that he was drinking. He'd had four drinks before hitting the median. Want to guess what kind?

[Rory Scoville]

What kind of drinks? Yeah. Is it always soju, the soju guy?

[Josh Dean]

I guess that's what everyone's drinking in Korea.

[Rory Scoville]

Yep.

[Josh Dean]

So cops charged him not only with dui, but also with obstructing a breath test by something called alcohol rinsing.

[Rory Scoville]

Oh.

[Josh Dean]

According to the Korean Road Traffic act, using alcohol or pharmaceuticals for the purpose of making a breath test difficult is punishable by one to five years in prison or a fine of five to 20 million won. The provision was introduced after the case of singer Kim Hujong, who sought to evade punishment with alcohol rinsing following a drunken driving crash in 2024 and has been in effect since June of last year. So you no longer. That one guy got in before the law changed.

[Rory Scoville]

He got it just under the wire.

[Josh Dean]

Just under the wire. So this guy Kim, who's described as a papara singer. I guess that's pop opera.

[Rory Scoville]

That now. Now I'm learning. Now you're teaching Josh. I didn't know that was a thing.

[Josh Dean]

I did not either. I also learned that. So Kim, the papara singer really ruined it for everyone. He crashed into a taxi, then ran and made his manager take the fall for the accident, as one does.

[Commercial Voice 2]

Yeah.

[Lane Rose]

All right.

[Josh Dean]

You ever pinned a crime or two on your manager?

[Rory Scoville]

I will now. Now that I know that's an option.

[Josh Dean]

So Kim bought beer, checked into a hotel, and drank it, to quote, apparently distort his blood alcohol content. According to a Korean news report. This backfired in a big way because Kim was caught and charged. He got 2.5 years in jail. Man, don't try this at home, folks. And definitely not in Korea.

[Rory Scoville]

Not in Korea.

[Josh Dean]

He made it so much worse for himself, in fact, by throwing his manager under the bus, going to a hotel, drinking more, and trying to pretend that he hadn't been drinking in the first place.

[Rory Scoville]

Yep.

[Josh Dean]

He probably would have just paid a fine and maybe lost his license. Instead, he spent two and a half years in jail.

[Rory Scoville]

You know, the universe has different stories for each of us. Different paths.

[Josh Dean]

Often it's like when you screw up, you gotta just own it.

[Rory Scoville]

It is best to own it as soon as possible.

[Josh Dean]

It does not work out. Often when you try and, like, make up a lie, it doesn't. So our next story isn't exactly on theme. It isn't the story of a guy who got a away. But it's a spiritual cousin. It's a guy who got away temporarily. Okay, I'm going to play a video for you while lane is. It's 48 seconds. Stop, stop.

[Lane Rose]

Give you a drink.

[Malcolm Glebel]

That's it.

[Josh Dean]

He's drinking some. Look like a beer or something.

[Rory Scoville]

What did that do?

[Josh Dean]

I don't know. I have questions.

[Lane Rose]

Took his bumper off.

[Rory Scoville]

Show me your hands now. Oh, wow. Did not see this Montage coming.

[Josh Dean]

Did you see him blow smoke out? He was tased. A lot of stupid right now,

[Rory Scoville]

You know? You know, I mean, what a good attitude outside of the wreck rate. Could have easily killed somebody.

[Josh Dean]

What did you see there, Rory? Can you sum up what you think transpired there?

[Rory Scoville]

I am shocked at how casual this scop is. He's like, I got other guys out there. Look, the guy in the van drives by, holds his beer out the window, says hi, and drives off. And the cop doesn't even jump in the. The police cruiser to quickly go after him. And I guess eventually he. I don't know, he was driving so slow in the opposite lane. He was for sure, like, up and.

[Josh Dean]

And then he called ahead and they did something. They put a string across the road. I don't understand what that.

[Rory Scoville]

I don't know what's going on with the string, but as the car was hitting it, I was like, is he. Is that a human just holding a string against the car? Like, what is this about to do? It must have done something.

[Josh Dean]

They're like, oh, that didn't work.

[Rory Scoville]

Ah, the old measuring tape. We thought the measuring tape would contain the 5 ton.

[Josh Dean]

So then what happened when he got out of the car?

[Rory Scoville]

He just started walking with a cigarette. And then they tased him.

[Josh Dean]

And then he got up, but he wasn't mad, and he wasn't even mad.

[Rory Scoville]

They got him up and he was like, y' all had fun, right? To the cops. And he asked what he's getting arrested for, and as though they had time to list the 400 different things. Right? He did seem cool as a cucumber, though.

[Josh Dean]

He did. I mean, the Taser is no joke. He just dropped like a. Like he'd been killed.

[Rory Scoville]

The Taser is no joke. And it did seem like he just. I don't know, it seemed like he wants to go to jail. He had sort of a go ahead, let's do it. I'm ready. I'm finally ready.

[Josh Dean]

Well, sort of like our guy we were talking about, the man who stops traffic in Wales who just seems to want to go to jail over and over again. Maybe this guy likes jail and you're

[Rory Scoville]

just kind of like, I mean, look, why don't we give it to him? Why don't we go. We want them in jail. They seem to want to be in jail. This seems like win, win, truly.

[Josh Dean]

So, okay, I'm going to. I have some more information. I can fill in the gaps for us a little bit here. For starters, a layup. Where did this happen?

[Rory Scoville]

Rory let's go ahead and go. Florida, Wales or South Korea?

[Josh Dean]

Florida. It was Highlands County, Florida, April of last year. The sheriff's department posted that video with this title, Strange things happen all the time when you're in law enforcement. This one, however, might make the books. Yeah, I'm just reading. This is all straight from the Highlands County Sheriff's Facebook page. It all started just before 3 on Saturday, April 19, when the Spring Lake Market reported that 39 year old Richard Christopher Smith of Miami had stolen several items, including several alcoholic beverages and walked out as deputies were on the way. It was reported that the man was in a black minivan driving in circles around the store.

[Rory Scoville]

It seems like he was playing a ton of Grand Theft Auto and it blurred the lines between the game and reality. Oh, here we go again.

[Josh Dean]

So to recap, it starts with Smith goes into a store, steals booze, gets in his minivan and starts hot dogging around the parking lot.

[Rory Scoville]

Yeah.

[Josh Dean]

So the post continues, when deputies arrived, Smith sped off launching a pursuit that ended several miles later in the parking lot of a business at the Sebring airport. It was during this pursuit Smith held out a can of kettle one vodka spritz. As he drove by a deputy trying to get him to stop saying I was just going to give you a drink. That's it. As he passed. Yeah, we don't know if he was expecting us to just say cheers and let him go or what. I'm still quoting here.

[Rory Scoville]

From the.

[Josh Dean]

After his toast, Smith attempted to ram two patrol vehicles in the midst of getting all four tires flattened by spike strip. Oh, they were laying spike strips.

[Rory Scoville]

It seemed like they were a little late to it, didn't it?

[Josh Dean]

I think they were, they were too late. He beat, he got again gta. He got there like he beat the spike strips.

[Rory Scoville]

He knew, he knew because of the GTA training.

[Josh Dean]

So the gtat, finally he crashes. He gets out with a drink and he's smoking a cigarette and he gets tased. Yeah, hilariously, it just dropped like a sniper. It hit him.

[Rory Scoville]

I think a lot of people, you need to know this if you haven't seen footage of people getting tased. And I gotta assume you have by now with social media. But keep in mind, when you get tased, you can't control your arms to keep your face from slamming into the pavement. Pavement. Yeah, you hope. Grass.

[Josh Dean]

He was lucky actually, because it was pavement.

[Rory Scoville]

So when they bring him up, he's got a bloody face because of that tasing, I believe.

[Josh Dean]

Yeah.

[Rory Scoville]

You can't shield your yourself, you're also proudly being tased so hard you don't even feel the impact of the ground. But you definitely are going to get scratched up.

[Josh Dean]

I'm going to guess people piss themselves, possibly crap their pants too.

[Rory Scoville]

I. I would just take the opportunity to be like, that's why I did that.

[Josh Dean]

It wasn't my fault. It was unconscious. He was charged with two counts of aggravated assault on a law enforcement officer, battery on a law enforcement officer, two counts of resisting arrest, dui, refusal to submit to a DUI test, and petit theft. I guess not below a certain amount. His bond was set at $120,000 and the sheriff's Facebook page finishes. We would be very interested to hear from anyone else who's been offered a vodka spritzer by their suspect in the middle of a vehicle pursuit. Or that the same suspect calmly tried to walk away from a crash puffing on a cigarette despite being surrounded by deputies. Or yes, it keeps going. That same suspect asked why he was being arrested and commented the to the deputies. You guys had fun though, right? I mean they're definitely having fun on their social media.

[Commercial Voice 2]

Yeah.

[Rory Scoville]

So in a way he was right. He was. Did it mention what his like I, I guess he. That probably trial hasn't happened yet.

[Josh Dean]

That was not reported.

[Rory Scoville]

I am very curious what that the consequences of being

[Josh Dean]

I didn't have time to run the Woodmark formula either, unfortunately.

[Rory Scoville]

I was going to say and what do we get with the witty points? Do we have any witty points for this?

[Josh Dean]

Unclear. I don't think they even needed like he says he refused to take the test. I think they were just like, dude, you're drunk. Like clear.

[Rory Scoville]

Look. They were like, look, we'd actually rather not give you the test. It's a waste of time. We can look at you and know.

[Josh Dean]

This is one of the many things I'm learning on criminals is that some of our police departments have pretty good senses of humor. I was highly entertained by all of that.

[Rory Scoville]

Yeah, it is some strange they're allowed to post that, but I guess you just. I guess cops are just allowed to roast us.

[Josh Dean]

I think if. Yeah, because if body cam footage captured in the process of doing their jobs is.

[Rory Scoville]

Yeah, it seems so strange when they want to roast us, their body cam footage is on and working and retrieval. But when they're. When they're screwing up and doing something illegal somehow there's no body cam footage.

[Josh Dean]

This is our Crimeless gets Political segment.

[Rory Scoville]

That's our Crimeless Gets Political in America.

[Josh Dean]

But it's a very good point actually.

[Rory Scoville]

Yeah, yeah. It's interesting when they do and don't have body cam footage.

[Josh Dean]

Well, after the break, we're going to have more fun with you guys, which you should not do. Okay, just to be clear for the lawyers, we're not condoning, we're just laughing.

[Malcolm Glebel]

Yeah.

Hello? Hello, this is Malcolm Glabel from Smart talks with IBM. Today we're diving into a fascinating conversation with Stefano Pallard, head of fan development for Scuderia Ferrari hp.

[Stefano Pallard]

Your pronunciation is strongly American. It's more Scuderia Ferrari.

[Malcolm Glebel]

I'm still working on rolling my R's, but what I was able to learn from Stefano was the importance of engaging the Tifosi, the Ferrari superfans in the digital age.

[Stefano Pallard]

Ferrari fans and super fans want to be part of something, want to belong to something. So they want to be part of a community and ultimately they want to be part of a winning team.

[Malcolm Glebel]

You've got Ferrari, which has a long history, design history, and now you're interacting in a kind of digital space. I'm curious how you balance those two traditions.

[Stefano Pallard]

When it comes to fan engagement, it's really digital technology. And digital channels are being able to create a deeper connection with our fans.

[Malcolm Glebel]

To learn more about how Ferrari and IBM are using technology to build deeper connections with fans, visit IBM.com ferrari

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[Josh Dean]

Spinquest is a free to play social casino void where prohibited. Visit spinquest.com for more details.

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[Josh Dean]

Hello and welcome back to Crimlyss, your one stop shop for stories about fun ass DUIs. Just kidding. All DUIs are very serious.

[Rory Scoville]

All of them are not fun. They're maybe to talk about later.

[Josh Dean]

A couple yeah are fun.

[Rory Scoville]

Some are fun. We found the fun ones.

[Josh Dean]

Can you get a DUI for operating a vehicle that is not a car?

[Rory Scoville]

Yes.

[Josh Dean]

Yes, correct.

[Rory Scoville]

I believe you can. I think that's why it's driving under the influence to create some sort of umbrella of that action. Yeah.

[Josh Dean]

Yep.

[Rory Scoville]

Operating machinery, etc.

[Josh Dean]

For a good example, we are going to go to Florida.

[Rory Scoville]

I thought we were already there.

[Josh Dean]

I didn't do this on purpose.

[Rory Scoville]

We're not going there. We're. We're already. We're there from the previous thing.

[Josh Dean]

It's our spiritual home. We basically our PO box is in Florida. Yeah, just criminals care of Florida.

[Rory Scoville]

It's so funny too that during elections Florida is such a big like. And what did Florida vote? It's like, are these news stories not enough? Is it not clear that maybe they should have less representatives?

[Josh Dean]

I mean I don't think I need to tell you who our next subject suspect voted for. Okay, this is in 2012 so he wouldn't yet have had a chance. But let's say if he's still around, who he would he would vote for?

[Rory Scoville]

He would want to vote for.

[Josh Dean]

A 68 year old man named James David Gray was on his way home from cutting grass on his riding mower and he stopped to buy an 18 pack of natural ice because according to the Gainesville sun, he was hot and depressed.

[Rory Scoville]

Let me go ahead and put out a few opinions early. I'm okay with all of this. If we're going to consider natural ice alcohol then I mean it's mostly water folks. He's Thirsty.

[Josh Dean]

And he just cut grass.

[Rory Scoville]

He's on a riding grass. He wants a little bit of a buzz. What's the top speed of this lawnmower?

[Josh Dean]

Well, okay. A sheriff's deputy happened to be cruising through the neighborhood with when he saw Gray on the red mower going south in a northbound lane. So he was in a road.

[Rory Scoville]

I. Let me take back my previous statements.

[Josh Dean]

So I guess if he'd stayed on the sidewalk, maybe if you just gone through people's. If you just done a public service of cutting everyone else's grass on the way.

[Rory Scoville]

That feels like. So animated, like an episode of the Simpsons. Getting every front yard, like one long

[Josh Dean]

stripe, one big line.

[Rory Scoville]

Yeah.

[Josh Dean]

So this copy pulls him over. He found that he had bloodshot eyes and he was slurring. He also observed that his breath had a, quote, strong smell of alcohol. And there was a cold beer open in a cup holder.

[Rory Scoville]

Yep.

[Josh Dean]

Gray told the cops he'd driven about two and a half miles from the store and he had only four beers left.

[Rory Scoville]

Okay. Okay. See what I mean? That's water.

[Josh Dean]

He had a half mile to go. So in two miles, he drank 14 beers on the lawnmower.

[Rory Scoville]

I believe him.

[Josh Dean]

Wow, that's.

[Rory Scoville]

I mean, his top speed is well true. I mean, he's crawling. This guy's crawling.

[Josh Dean]

What I don't know is, was he just crushing them and throwing them over his shoulder?

[Rory Scoville]

Did he leave a trail of crushed, even cooler litters? Kids, any kids that listen to this know that littering is so cool.

[Josh Dean]

So cool. In Florida.

[Rory Scoville]

In Florida for sure.

[Josh Dean]

So he failed a field sobriety test. He blew 0.14, nearly double the legal limit. He was charged with DUI. It was his fifth.

[Rory Scoville]

Yep.

[Josh Dean]

The lawnmower was a rental and he had to return it. Oh, well, he was making. He was renting to own. He was making payments. He was going to buy it.

[Rory Scoville]

Got it. Got it.

[Josh Dean]

Okay. So now I had only planned to share one more of these, but I couldn't decide because there were so many. So I have two more non car DUI stories and you're going to hear both of them.

[Rory Scoville]

Okay.

[Josh Dean]

We're going to temporarily bid farewell to Florida until next week when I'm sure we'll be back.

[Lane Rose]

Bye.

[Malcolm Glebel]

Bye.

[Josh Dean]

And this time we're going to go to jolly old England. We shouldn't sleep on the uk. Not Wales, but England. What is a dumber thing to be arrested in than a lawnmower?

[Rory Scoville]

Unicycle.

[Josh Dean]

An electric Barbie car.

[Rory Scoville]

Actually, a unicycle would be impressive.

[Josh Dean]

That's Impressive. If you can drink 14 beers and ride.

[Rory Scoville]

Yeah, I actually would. You should get a key to the city if you can do that.

[Josh Dean]

It's an electric Barbie car. Was the answer I was looking for.

[Rory Scoville]

Yes. Perfect.

[Josh Dean]

So let's hop in the wayback machine to 2010 for the story of a 40 year old named Paul Hutton who was pulled over by cops just down the street from his Essex home driving a Barbie car.

[Rory Scoville]

Yep.

[Josh Dean]

When he appeared in court, Hutton said, you have to be a contortionist to get in and then you can't get out. I was very surprised to get done for drink driving, but I was a twit, to say the least. It is designed for three to five year olds.

[Rory Scoville]

Well, I mean, to come to that conclusion is wildly mature. Despite the visuals were set up to let you know that it was for three to five year olds.

[Josh Dean]

Listen, your honor. Yeah, I was a twit.

[Rory Scoville]

Also, you can go much faster by just walking.

[Josh Dean]

So lest you think Paul is a weirdo, he does have kids, four of them. The youngest is 11. Paul is a divorced former aeronautical engineer in the Royal Air Force who is furthering his studies in electrical engineering at Colchester University. He explained that as part of his coursework, he was modifying the car with his son, who was studying to be an auto mechanic. Okay, so they did some mods, including adding bigger wheels. And quote, when it was done, I couldn't resist the temptation to take it out.

[Rory Scoville]

He said, based on what you just said, I would also be very tempted.

[Josh Dean]

Unfortunately, he was drunk when he did it.

[Rory Scoville]

I know, but if I'm hanging out with my kid, we're building a car, I'm going to have a few drinks too, you know what I mean? Then we got to test drive it.

[Josh Dean]

You might have three or 14 natural ices.

[Rory Scoville]

I mean, the good news is this is the only DUI where he for sure can't kill anyone else. Only he can die in this scenario.

[Josh Dean]

I'm not even sure a dog would be killed in a Barbie cartoon.

[Rory Scoville]

I think a dog would. Yeah. Barely. Barely scraped.

[Josh Dean]

If anything, it goes like two miles an hour.

[Rory Scoville]

I want to see it in motion. I want to know how fast they modded this thing out.

[Josh Dean]

He blew twice. Illegal limb. He lost his license for three years. This is most unusual. Chairman of the Bench Neil Munson said as quoted by the Telegraph, I have never seen the like of it in 15 years on the bench. That vehicle is not even capable of doing the speed of a mobility scooter and. And could be outrun by a pedestrian,

[Rory Scoville]

which is why you almost want to be like, is it so bad?

[Josh Dean]

I know, I know. It's. Yeah, I'm sure. Why his lawyer, you think would have stood up and said, then what are we doing here?

[Rory Scoville]

It feels like you're arguing on our

[Josh Dean]

behalf, like, your honor, no one was in danger here. I guess their case would be like you were. You put yourself in danger. Like, you could have been killed.

[Rory Scoville]

Which is, I guess. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or you're inspiring onlooking children to make poor choices.

[Josh Dean]

That's true. Yep. You gotta, gotta make an example of this, man.

[Rory Scoville]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Josh Dean]

All right, well, I do have one more for you. What's even dumber than a Barbie car?

[Rory Scoville]

Oh, man, that one felt so stupid. I don't know. Roller skates.

[Josh Dean]

I want to say I had some options here. There were more. I would have accepted multiples. We're going to go with motorized recliner.

[Rory Scoville]

It's getting very Mario Kart now.

[Josh Dean]

For this one, we're going to head to Minnesota, the town of Proctor. And back in August 20, 2008. 62 year old. It's always a guy in his 60s. Retirement is not.

[Rory Scoville]

Well, maybe that's just what happens. You hit your 60s and you're like, you know what? I'm not playing by the rules anymore.

[Josh Dean]

Fuck it. So a guy named Dennis Leroy Anderson left a bar and drove into a parked car in his vehicle. His vehicle was a recliner that had been modified by adding a lawnmower engine, headlights, a stereo and cup holders, plus some National Hot Rod association stickers. It's top street speed was 20 miles an hour.

[Rory Scoville]

And I actually kind of respect the out of that.

[Josh Dean]

I got a photo for you.

[Rory Scoville]

There it is.

[Malcolm Glebel]

Yes.

[Rory Scoville]

Yes. Oh, my God.

[Josh Dean]

Working headlights.

[Rory Scoville]

I love it. I actually love it.

[Josh Dean]

It's. Yeah, I mean, Rory. Describe it to anyone who's listening at home.

[Rory Scoville]

It looks like something you would love to have. It looks very fun. It does look like a secret cheat code in Mario Kart where you can drive a recliner. It's all black. The steering wheel is the most. The least desirable steering wheel you could ever imagine. But it's got, like, controls. It actually looks like. The fact that this thing functions is hilarious. The seating looks like a wood plank. I'd want to adjust that. I love that it has drink holders

[Josh Dean]

and the headlights are amazing.

[Rory Scoville]

I gotta tell you, you bring this to Burning man, you're making friends.

[Josh Dean]

Oh, my God, you're right. This should be at Burning Man.

[Rory Scoville]

Stuff like this is at Burning Man. Even better than this.

[Josh Dean]

So no one was injured but he did blow a 29, three times the legal limit. He pleaded guilty to drunk driving, got two years probation. Worst of all, cops seized the hot rod chair.

[Rory Scoville]

Yeah.

[Josh Dean]

Yep. And the sheriff, the police chief said, we have confiscated luxury cars to junk four wheel drives, pickups, snowmobiles and trailers. But we never expected anything like this.

[Rory Scoville]

No. Yeah.

[Josh Dean]

Of course, a year later, his department put the chair up on ebay with a minimum price of 500 and bidding took off, reaching $43,000 before Proctor Police had to take it down because La Z Boy called and asked that it not be sold as a La Z Boy branded chair.

[Rory Scoville]

Yeah.

[Josh Dean]

Their corporate counsel also contacted the Duluth Minnesota News Tribune and asked that it not use the trademark in news reports about the chair either. But I'm sorry, it's way too late to put that cat back in the bag.

[Rory Scoville]

Yeah.

[Josh Dean]

For the record, the police chief said the chair was custom built and that there are no markings or manufacturers names. Which is exactly what you say after you've heard from La Z Boy's lawyers.

[Rory Scoville]

Yep.

[Josh Dean]

Yeah, I don't know what you're talking about, sir.

[Rory Scoville]

$43,000, man.

[Josh Dean]

He said, I'm going to make sure we get it relisted for the auction and keep any trademark names out of it. He said he reposted it as DUI chair, motorized chair and racing chair.

[Rory Scoville]

I mean, here's the thing. Why not go pay $1,000 and pay the original guy to just mod out?

[Josh Dean]

He could start a business and just

[Rory Scoville]

be like, this could be a job you have.

[Josh Dean]

That could be his retirement job.

[Rory Scoville]

Exactly.

[Josh Dean]

Oh, my God. People would buy the shit out of those chairs. Exactly.

[Rory Scoville]

Is it being $43,000 to the cops to go who know, buy more surveillance gear.

[Josh Dean]

So two more winning bids fell through and the chair finally sold in 2010 for $3,700. Proceeds went to the Proctor Police Department. And that is the end of our story. I literally could have gone on for. There were. There's so many amazing. We have to come back to this subject because there are a lot of stories of people getting arrested for DUIs on ridiculous things.

[Rory Scoville]

We'll call them alternative vehicles.

[Josh Dean]

Alternative vehicles.

[Rory Scoville]

Yeah, AVs.

[Josh Dean]

I think you're right. Like, maybe the $43,000 bid was a burner. It was going to Burning man with some flames coming out the back.

[Rory Scoville]

Yeah, Rich Burning man, dude.

[Josh Dean]

All right, after the break, we compete to see who can blow the higher

[Rory Scoville]

blood alcohol content Lane's Games Alcohol Edition.

[Malcolm Glebel]

Hello? Hello, this is Malcolm Glebel from Smart talks with IBM today. We're diving into a fascinating conversation with Stefano Pallard, head of fan development for Scuderia for rehp.

[Stefano Pallard]

Your pronunciation is strongly American. It's more Scuderia Ferrari.

[Malcolm Glebel]

I'm still working on rolling my R's, but what I was able to learn from Stefano was the importance of engaging the Tifosi the Ferrari superfans in the digital age.

[Stefano Pallard]

Ferrari fans and super fans want to be part of something, want to belong to something. So they want to be part of a community and ultimately they want to be part of a winning team.

[Malcolm Glebel]

You've got Ferrari, which has a long history, design history, and now you're interacting in a kind of digital space. I'm curious how you balance those two traditions.

[Stefano Pallard]

When it comes to fan engagement, it's really digital technology and digital channels are being able to create a deeper connection with our fans.

[Malcolm Glebel]

To learn more about how Ferrari and IBM are using technology to build deeper connections with fans, visit IBM.com ferrari

[Rory Scoville]

what's up baby? It's Bretzky and I'm here to tell you that spinquest.com is giving out free sweeps coins. All you got to do is purchase a ten dollar coin pack and guess what? They're gonna give you the coins from a thirty dollar coin pack that lets you play all your favorite games like Blackjack, Wanted, Dead or Wild. And we're talking real cash prizes baby.

[Josh Dean]

Spin Quest.com Spin Quest is a free to play social casino void where prohibited. Visit spinquest.com for more details.

[Amy Eric]

Hello beautiful. I'm Amy Eric, founder of Madison Reed, a hair color company I named after my daughter. I started Madison Reed because I believe women deserve better better ingredients, better results and the freedom to color on your terms. Our prestige hair color is made with ingredients that care for your hair, delivering gorgeous multi dimensional results. Meet our Salon in a Box, a permanent hair color kit with over 4020005 star reviews delivering rich color and 100% gray coverage. Try our Root Touch up kit for a permanent root refresh or our hair and brow mascara to cover stray grays on the go. Join more than 5 million women who have made the switch. Visit Madison reed.com or Amazon and discover the Madison Reed difference. Confident. Bold. Unstoppable. That's the power of Madison Reed Nix.

[Podcast Announcer]

That's Knix. Leak proof underwear isn't just for one moment. It's for all the everyday moments you didn't realize leak proof underwear could make easier Maybe it's day one of your period. Maybe it's a long travel day. Maybe it's hot outside. You're on the move and you just want to feel fresh. Their leak proof underwear comes in a range of absorbencies from light to ultra and helps protect against periods, light leaks, sweat, and everyday surprises. And because they look and feel like real underwear, they're soft, invisible underclothes and machine washable. No extra hassle, no complicated routine, just dependable protection. You can wash and rewear. See why millions have made the switch to leak proof underwear? Visit nyx.com that's kn I X.com and use code FLO15 for 15% off. That's knix.com code FLOW15.

[Josh Dean]

Hello and welcome back to Crimeless, the only podcast hosted by two men in motorized recliners that are definitely not made by La Z Boy.

[Rory Scoville]

That's exactly right. It seems like it is, but we've taken a black marker to it and redacted it. I. I don't want to tangle with

[Josh Dean]

the La Z Boy lawyers. I don't know about you, Rory.

[Rory Scoville]

Yeah, you know, they've been through the ringer a few times.

[Josh Dean]

All right, Rory, what's next?

[Rory Scoville]

Well, I'll tell you what we got coming up, Josh. Coming up this hour we've got Lane's game.

[Josh Dean]

Lane, what game are we playing?

[Lane Rose]

We're playing a cocktail themed game. My first question is what's your go to cocktail, guys?

[Rory Scoville]

Okay, well, I did dry January in 2026 and I've just kept it. So I am two and a half months into dry. But I'll go ahead and tell you my faves. When I go to a bar, I like to start with a paper plane and then I like to land that right in an Old Fashioned.

[Cal Penn]

Ooh.

[Josh Dean]

Oh, Stunning paper plane is a good drink. Spicy margarita is my usual. I don't drink a lot of cocktails.

[Rory Scoville]

Yeah, but I like a high west bourbon in that Old Fashioned. No one asked. But just putting it out there, I guess.

[Josh Dean]

Now your drink will be a phony Negroni or a.

[Rory Scoville]

Now it's. It's the phony Negroni. The. The. The phony Negroni that's pre bottled is actually not that bad. I did go to one bar in Boulder, Colorado that had an amazing fake Negroni that was so good it might have just been a Negroni. And I have been drinking this whole time.

[Lane Rose]

That's how they get you. So for this game, I'm going to tell you cocktail and you just need to tell me the ingredients. You don't have to tell me how to make it, you just gotta tell me what's in it. And for sake of fairness, I'm only going to be asking you about cocktails officially recognized by the International Bartenders Association.

[Rory Scoville]

Thank you.

[Lane Rose]

Yeah, I know. I know you guys are familiar with the iba.

[Josh Dean]

Yeah, of course we are.

[Rory Scoville]

Josh and I talk about it all the time.

[Lane Rose]

Yes. So no weird originals from, like, a bartender named Skyler in Brooklyn who has

[Rory Scoville]

a recliner that goes 20 miles per hour?

[Lane Rose]

Yeah, exactly. A softball to start. Josh, you mentioned a margarita. What's in a margarita?

[Josh Dean]

Will you taking turns on one first?

[Lane Rose]

Yeah.

[Josh Dean]

Okay.

[Rory Scoville]

Can we be teammates? Because I'm not going to be good at this.

[Lane Rose]

You know, you. You order a paper plane. I feel like that's a one up on this.

[Rory Scoville]

Oh, okay. All right. If you think I can win. Yeah, I only want to be teammates if I think I'm going to lose,

[Malcolm Glebel]

so.

[Josh Dean]

Okay, I'll go for it. It's tequila, lime juice, Grand Marnier, or triple Sec. I mean, that's it, right?

[Lane Rose]

Yeah, often with a salted rim.

[Josh Dean]

I like a Tajin rim on my spicy. Marty.

[Rory Scoville]

I knew that you would be fancy.

[Josh Dean]

All right, one.

[Lane Rose]

That's one. Roy. I mean, are you teammates? I can't tell.

[Josh Dean]

All right, well, yeah, how about we'll take turns, but then we can help each other if one. If the other one knows the answer. All right, Rory, so you start this one.

[Rory Scoville]

If you.

[Lane Rose]

Okay, Rory, how about a mojito?

[Rory Scoville]

A mojito? See, this is why I'm gonna be awful at this.

[Josh Dean]

I can help you here.

[Rory Scoville]

Mojito.

[Josh Dean]

I got it. If you don't. If you need.

[Rory Scoville]

Yeah, get in here.

[Lady Luck]

What? What?

[Rory Scoville]

Give me one thing. Maybe I can.

[Josh Dean]

Well, Ram. Is rum. Is the liquor in it?

[Rory Scoville]

Okay, so I would have gotten that wrong. I now know.

[Josh Dean]

Okay, so it starts with sugar and limes muddled at the bottom of the glass. Okay. And then you add rum. And then you add soda water. And then you add. Oh, mint. I forgot mint. There's mint.

[Rory Scoville]

I was gonna only offer mint. That was the only thing I was pretty confident about.

[Josh Dean]

Am I right, Lane?

[Lane Rose]

Yeah. Correct.

[Rory Scoville]

But then I thought maybe that was a mint julep, and I panicked.

[Josh Dean]

It's similar, but that is bourbon. Mint julep is kind of like a mojito with bourbon.

[Lane Rose]

Okay. Like, oh. Josh was like, I don't really drink cocktails. And then you're like, I know exactly how to make a mojito.

[Josh Dean]

Well, you happen to pick one that I do like.

[Rory Scoville]

And also the ounces.

[Stefano Pallard]

Jesus.

[Lane Rose]

Equal parts. How about a French 75?

[Rory Scoville]

Oh, champagne, right?

[Lane Rose]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Josh Dean]

Vodka. No, gin.

[Lane Rose]

Yes.

[Rory Scoville]

Okay, okay. Champagne, gin. And then Probably a third sweetener of some sort.

[Josh Dean]

Cassis. The red stuff.

[Lane Rose]

No, but Rory was closer. A sweetener. A simple syrup.

[Rory Scoville]

Some kind of a sweetener.

[Josh Dean]

Syrup.

[Lane Rose]

Okay, and then we're missing one other key ingredient.

[Rory Scoville]

A good time.

[Josh Dean]

Yeah.

[Rory Scoville]

Yeah, that's a yes. A DJ who has an ear for what we want to dance to.

[Josh Dean]

Is it red?

[Lane Rose]

No.

[Rory Scoville]

You're really leaning into the reds. You're fully committed to red for this drink.

[Josh Dean]

All right. What is it, Lane?

[Lane Rose]

It's lemon juice.

[Josh Dean]

Oh, okay.

[Lane Rose]

Lemon juice. Yeah.

[Josh Dean]

I think we get most of the sour. We get most of the point there.

[Lane Rose]

Yeah. How about a Long Island Iced tea? I'll give you a hint. There's no iced tea in this.

[Josh Dean]

That is the drink that has a lot of liquors in it.

[Rory Scoville]

Yeah. It's dangerous.

[Josh Dean]

I think it has vodka, gin, and rum.

[Lane Rose]

Yeah, but you're missing two other liquors.

[Josh Dean]

Tequila.

[Commercial Voice 2]

Yeah.

[Rory Scoville]

God, that's disgusting.

[Lane Rose]

Triple sec. Oh, and a splash of something else. Tell me.

[Josh Dean]

Cranberry juice. Orange juice?

[Amy Eric]

No.

[Josh Dean]

Pineapple juice?

[Lane Rose]

No.

[Rory Scoville]

Is it a club soda?

[Lane Rose]

It is cola.

[Rory Scoville]

Cola.

[Josh Dean]

That is disgusting.

[Lane Rose]

It's so good, though. They're so good.

[Rory Scoville]

I do. The taste of it is like you're like, oh, all right. And that's why you get so up, because you're like, ah, it's fine. And then the soda opens up your stomach even more. And now it's like getting into your blood even faster.

[Josh Dean]

It's. That drink gets you crunk.

[Rory Scoville]

Very good, Josh. I was afraid that you wouldn't apply language from the 90s for the children listening.

[Lane Rose]

That does indeed get you crowing.

[Josh Dean]

I know our demo.

[Lane Rose]

I've got one more, but I'm going to add another one because it's timely. But this last one is a monkey gland?

[Josh Dean]

I have no idea.

[Lane Rose]

It's got an interesting history. Does anyone want to guess?

[Rory Scoville]

I have no idea.

[Lane Rose]

It's a Prohibition era cocktail named after a pseudoscience idea that if you graft a monkey testicle into humans, you'll live longer. And the guy that invented it, this was the only thing he pretty much ever did. And he was known as the monkey gland man.

[Josh Dean]

Was that Professor Widmark?

[Lane Rose]

Yeah. No, Russian. Dr. Serge Voronoff.

[Josh Dean]

Wow. His parents must have been so proud.

[Lane Rose]

Yeah. I'll give you a hint. It's orange.

[Josh Dean]

Orange juice.

[Lane Rose]

Yep. That's one.

[Josh Dean]

Rum? No, whiskey.

[Rory Scoville]

Screwdriver. This is not a screwdriver, but called something else.

[Josh Dean]

What makes it. Where's the monkey part come from?

[Lane Rose]

It's not really monkey. It's like the rejuvenation aspect. It's like. Oh, it really gives you a kick, I think.

[Josh Dean]

We don't know.

[Rory Scoville]

I don't know.

[Lane Rose]

Gin, orange juice, grenadine, and a dash of absinthe.

[Rory Scoville]

That actually sounds pleasant.

[Josh Dean]

It does.

[Lane Rose]

Okay, last one. What is a Borg?

[Josh Dean]

Is it named for Bjornborg, the Swedish tennis player who may have been friends with Professor Widmark?

[Lane Rose]

No, but it was happening in Chicago, Rory, when you were here.

[Rory Scoville]

Oh.

[Lane Rose]

I learned what this was this weekend because my Zoomer friends were talking about is a blackout rage gallon, which is a DIY alcoholic mixture among college students where you get a jug of water and you decide how much you want to drink. So you pour out that much of the gallon, and then you add your vodka or your whatever liquor, and then you put in your flavoring. So like a meo or a. I don't know, some sort of powdered. And then you just have your gallon for the. For the whole day. And TikTok doctors are saying it's actually

[Josh Dean]

harm reductive because it has water. Because it's part water.

[Lane Rose]

Yeah.

[Josh Dean]

And like, it hydrates while it dehydrates.

[Lane Rose]

Yeah.

[Josh Dean]

Oh, wow. I believe Dr. Widmark came up with this.

[Lane Rose]

Yeah.

[Rory Scoville]

That seems insane. I couldn't imagine being a doctor going, this is actually pretty healthy. This is better.

[Lane Rose]

But, yeah, wow, that's a Borg. That's what the kids are doing. So if your children come back and say, can I have a gallon of water? Nope, don't let them.

[Rory Scoville]

They don't get it.

[Lane Rose]

They get cups.

[Rory Scoville]

Also, I don't know if my kid's that into tennis, so might not happen.

[Josh Dean]

Official drink of Crimeless, the blackout rage gallon. That's what that guy in the minivan was on.

[Rory Scoville]

Probably. Yeah. I thought I was hydrating. Sorry, guys.

[Lane Rose]

I was Borgin.

[Josh Dean]

You guys had fun, right?

[Lane Rose]

Nice.

[Josh Dean]

He's the mascot. All right, we'll see you next week.

[Rory Scoville]

Bye.

[Josh Dean]

Crimlyss is a production of Smartless Media, Campside Media, and Big Money Players in partnership with iHeart podcasts. It's hosted by Rory Scoville and me, Josh Dean. Our senior producer is Lane Rose. Emma Siminoff is our associate producer. This episode was edited, sound, designed and engineered by Marina Paiz. Our studio engineer is Ewan Lai Tramuin. Mark McAdam composed our theme song. The executive producers at Campside Media are Vanessa Gregoriadis, Matt Sher, and me, Josh Dean. The executive producers for iHeart podcasts and Big Money Players are Jack O', Brien, Lindsey Hoffman, and Matt Apodaca. For Smartless Media, the executive producers are Will Arnett, Jason Bateman, Sean Hayes and Richard Courson. Bernie Kaminski is head of production. The Associate producer is Matty McCann. A special thanks to our operations team, Ashley Warren and Sabina Mara. Do you have a question, comment or confession for the Crimeless team? Email [e-mail] and if you enjoyed Crimeless, please rate and review the show wherever you get your podcasts. It helps people find the show and also makes us feel validated. Unless you're mean, in which case keep it to yourself. We'll see you next week. Crimeless Nation

[Cal Penn]

Running a business shouldn't feel like surviving a software group project. One app for accounting, another for inventory, another for sales and somehow none of them talk to each other. That's where Odoo comes in. An all in one business management software that brings every part of your business together from sales and accounting to inventory and marketing, all in one powerful platform. No messy integrations, no bouncing between tabs, and best of all, no spreadsheets. Stop managing software and start managing your business with one unified system. Try for free today at odoo.com iheartradio that's O D O O O.com iheartradio here's the truth.

[Malcolm Glebel]

You could literally be adored by everyone and then come home and still get completely ignored by your own cat. It's classic cat behavior. But new Sheba Premium Puree is a lickable treat that changes all that. They're protein rich, made with bone broth and have the smooth, creamy texture cats go crazy for, especially when it's hand fed. Yeah, it's more than a treat, it's a fast pass to favorite human status. So feed your cat Sheba and go from totally ignored to truly adored in just 12 days guaranteed or your money back. Learn [e-mail] big transfer news today.

[Josh Dean]

Who's moving me to the couch with Domino's? Best deal ever since they just added stuffed crust.

[Cal Penn]

Any pizza? Any toppings? Now with stuffed crust for 9.99.

[Josh Dean]

It's a long term contract with no

[Cal Penn]

release clause only 9.99. Yeah, that sounds like the move. I'm heading straight to dom.

[Josh Dean]

Price is higher for some locations, excludes Excel and specialty pizzas.

[Rory Scoville]

Select this offer from 615 through 726 online only.

[Josh Dean]

Size availability varies by crust type max 7, topping 6 for pan and New York style crust. Minimum purchase required for delivery. Prices, participation, delivery area and charges may vary.

[Amy Eric]

M&M's popped caramel do sound different. Oh no. People are gonna be obsessed.

[Rory Scoville]

What do you mean?

[Amy Eric]

People hate the sound of chewing.

[Josh Dean]

Maybe they won't like the crunch.

[Rory Scoville]

Maybe we're saved.

[Malcolm Glebel]

Wait a minute.

[Amy Eric]

Minute.

[Josh Dean]

Yellow.

[Amy Eric]

Have you been eating them this whole time?

[Rory Scoville]

So tasty.

[Josh Dean]

Hands off us.

[Rory Scoville]

Eminem's popped caramel. It's more fun together.

[Podcast Announcer]

This is an iHeart podcast.

[Rory Scoville]

Guaranteed Human.