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Rory Scoville
This is Special Agent Regal, Special Agent Bradley Hall.
Special Agent Regal / FBI Narrator
In 2018, the FBI took down a ring of spies working for China's Ministry of State Security, one of the most mysterious intelligence agencies in the world.
Sixth Bureau Podcast Narrator
The Sixth Bureau podcast is a story of the inner workings of the MSS and how one man's ambition and mistakes opened its vault of secrets.
Special Agent Regal / FBI Narrator
Listen to the 6th Bureau on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcast. Podcasts.
Nancy Glass
I'm Nancy Glass, host of the Burden of Guilt season two podcast. This is a story about a horrendous lie that destroyed two families. Late one night, Bobby Gumprite became the victim of a random crime. The perpetrator was sentenced to 99 years until a confession changed everything.
Sixth Bureau Podcast Narrator
I was a monster.
Nancy Glass
Listen to Burden of guilt Season 2 on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.
iHeart Podcast Announcer
What if mind control is real?
Josh Dean
If you could control the behavior of anybody around you, what kind of life would you have?
iHeart Podcast Announcer
Can you hypnotically persuade someone to buy a car?
Rory Scoville
When you look at your car, you're gonna become overwhelmed with such good feelings.
iHeart Podcast Announcer
Can you hypnotize someone into sleeping with you?
Josh Dean
I gave her some suggestions to be sexually aroused.
iHeart Podcast Announcer
Can you get someone to join your cult?
Amanda Knox
NLP was used on me to access my subconscious mind games.
iHeart Podcast Announcer
A new podcast exploring nlp, AKA Nurture Neuro linguistic programming. Is it a self help miracle? A shady hypnosis scam? Or both? Listen to Mind Games on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Rory Scoville
Are we led to believe that this poop out of her ass is a forever chemical.
Josh Dean
Campsite Media Smart media trigger warning. This episode is about human excrement. Oh, Rory, uncomfortable question here.
Rory Scoville
Those don't even exist for me. Let's just get that out of the way.
Josh Dean
You ever had to drop a deuce in public?
Rory Scoville
Yes.
Josh Dean
Wow. Didn't even have to think about that one. Okay.
Rory Scoville
It's well documented in my standup, so if I were to lie now, I would be a big fraud.
Josh Dean
All right, I think we can agree that it's very gross, but is it illegal to poop in public?
Rory Scoville
Oh, I mean, yeah, that's a great question, because is it a choice? Sometimes. I mean, to be very clear, mine were not choices. Oh, wait. You know, maybe I should clear that up through no choice of my own. Have I ever pooped in public?
Josh Dean
Okay, okay, okay. Fair. So you're saying that's the case you would make in court? If I were the judge and you were like, your Honor, I would be
Rory Scoville
like, what am I supposed to do if I can't, you know, if I gotta go and there's no restroom, you know, and you're, you know, what do you do?
Josh Dean
Well, I can tell you that you'd probably be in trouble. Yeah. Because this week on Crimeless, we confirm what you've always suspected to be true. Or some of us did. That it is indeed against the law to hoop in public. We've got a trio of criminals who found this out the hard way. Or the soft way, depending on your last meal.
Rory Scoville
Well, you don't know what their diet is.
Josh Dean
We've got an open and shit. I mean, shut case, an unsolved mystery, and a serial pooper who may have been framed. Oh, Rory, do you need to use the bathroom before we start?
Rory Scoville
No.
Josh Dean
All right, then. Let's get into it after the break. Hello, and welcome back to Crimeless, the podcast that celebrates the amazing creativity of the world's dumbest and grossest criminals. I'm Josh Dean.
Rory Scoville
And I am Rory Scoville.
Josh Dean
Public pooper.
Rory Scoville
Public pooper number one. Josh, maybe I should turn the tables. Have you ever pooped in public?
Josh Dean
Define public.
Rory Scoville
Your home. No. I don't know. Outside, I mean, you've gone camping. You've had to live that life.
Josh Dean
Yeah, but is the woods? See, this is a question, a part of the question we have not defined.
Rory Scoville
Out in the woods. I think we can all assume that's fine. That's fair game.
Josh Dean
I think so. This week, we're not talking about the woods, though.
Rory Scoville
And now I'm even more excited.
Josh Dean
Yeah. And I think this is. Today's episode is destined to be a Crimeless classic. Because what's stupider than a poop joke? Let's dive in. I want to start with the most explosive story, both in terms of how viral this story went and the act in question. Yes, Rory, I feel like this is the type of news you'd probably see on your feed. Does the term Delco pooper Ring any bells?
Rory Scoville
No.
Josh Dean
Oh, all right then. So Delco is short for Delaware county, which is just outside Philadelphia proper. But it's basically shorthand for a certain kind of Philly metro area person. It's a vibe. Here's a TikTok I found that shows you the accent that we're dealing with here. You're craving a hoagie from Wawa. Yeah, let's just go get water ice and go to the Eggles game too while we're at it.
iHeart Podcast Announcer
Go birds.
Rory Scoville
Yep.
Josh Dean
Yeah, you know it. You got it?
Rory Scoville
Oh yeah, got it.
Josh Dean
Okay, so anyway, please hear that voice in your head as I tell you the story. Piece of cake. It's the spring of 2025, late April in Delco. The weather's getting nicer, the trees are starting to get their leaves back. There's probably some new seasonal green icy flavor at Wawa. Generally I feel like people are in better moods when the sun starts to come out, but not today. We're in full road rage mode. When you think of road rage, where does it usually happen? Like where do you picture?
Rory Scoville
Oh, highway all the time. You just think.
Josh Dean
Exactly. Yeah, like busy roads. We're going 90 on a highway, fast and furious style. Or like maybe Central Philly, bumper to bumper, some guy in an Eagles jersey threatening to murder you.
Rory Scoville
Yep.
Josh Dean
But the now legendary Delco Pooper. This happened at a four way stop on a quiet residential street. One of you.
Rory Scoville
Oh my gosh.
Josh Dean
Rory, I'm going to show you this video and I want you to describe what's happening for our listeners.
Rory Scoville
You got it. But if this is two girls, one cup, I'm going to be pissed. All right. Four way intersection. Somebody's filming outside of their car.
Josh Dean
You're going to see the aftermath, I believe right there.
Rory Scoville
Oh my Lord.
Lane Rose
Wow.
Rory Scoville
Wow. That is, I gotta say, obviously it's disgusting, but it is wildly impressive.
Josh Dean
So yeah, like I know you, it was hard to see, but for the people at home. What do you. What just happened there?
Rory Scoville
This woman got out of her car, walked to the car behind her, bent over and kind of onto the hood, sprayed diarrhea onto the hood of the car.
Josh Dean
That is correct. That is what happened.
Rory Scoville
You are right, Josh. This is an instant classic episode.
Josh Dean
So that video goes viral in April and the next day police arrest the woman that you little hard to see there, but she is 44 year old Christina Salamento. So I got to play this video for you as well.
Rory Scoville
Can you tell us what happened?
iHeart Podcast Announcer
The lady chased me. She chased me and I asked her that's what's happened. I have a sickness.
Josh Dean
Yeah, I mean, there was definitely. That woman did not seem embarrassed, did she, Rory?
Rory Scoville
No. She was smiling and, like, ready for questions.
Josh Dean
I would feel like for most people, that would be the worst moment of their lives, the really bad decision that was made. She seemed kind of proud of it.
Rory Scoville
I mean, if you're willing to go the distance of shitting onto someone's car, you, You. This world is no longer image is no longer a concern of yours. You're not checking the mirror before you leave any place. You're fine with whatever you're presenting.
Josh Dean
So I'm gonna walk you through the police investigation here, and you're gonna get some answers to the questions I'm sure that you have. So according to a police affidavit, Solamento honked at a driver in front of her. I think we heard that that was because the person in front of her failed to turn on a green arrow. Allegedly, a different motorist this time behind her started heckling Christina. And she claims to have seen this in a rearview mirror. Salamento told cops she was having stomach issues at the time and was getting impatient that this car in front of her would not move. Gotta get to the nearest Wawa toilet, guys. So she drove around the car in front of her, and she's minding her own business, thinking of that big, beautiful bathroom in her future, when the driver behind her, she claims, started following closely and yelling insults. So she hit the brakes, got out of her vehicle, and took aim at the person tailing her. She later gave police a quote that I'm going to immediately enshrine in the Crimeless Criminal quote hall of Fame quote, I wanted to punch her in the face, but I pooped on her car instead and went home.
Rory Scoville
And weirdly, you put those two things side by side. She did make the more mature decision
Josh Dean
and probably the less. I'm guessing you get less time. Right?
Rory Scoville
I got to assume you're going to get less for fecal issues than physical assault.
Josh Dean
So we're saying she actually. She made a smart choice in the moment.
Rory Scoville
In the moment between those two choice. I mean, if you're putting in the third choice, do nothing. She did not make the right choice,
Josh Dean
according to press reports. She also said this to cops. And I think you might take issue with this quote, Rory. Okay, it was a clean poop. I didn't even have to wipe.
Rory Scoville
You know, I mean, that's like if I'm one of the cops, I'm chuckling and I'm probably like, all right, get out of here.
Josh Dean
I mean, that was not a clear. I'm just going to say, first off,
Rory Scoville
that was not a clean poop. And I do not believe that she didn't have to wipe. However, I've never bent over and sort of projectile shat. And in that case, maybe you don't have to wipe.
Lane Rose
Maybe.
Rory Scoville
Maybe it all just exits and there's zero friction with any other part of your body.
Josh Dean
That's possible. Well, we. Yeah, I don't have, like, I don't think we have no forensic evidence to. To really debate.
Rory Scoville
We'll never know.
Josh Dean
We'll never move on. And I'm going to tell you that after her identity was made public. Because you thought this was the end. Oh, no. The Internet quickly found her Facebook page. Her account was, I kid you not, under the name Christina M. Shithead, but shit spelled S H Y T head. And there we learned a little bit about Christina Solamento. Like, she's a single mom. She's involved in the swim community. She posts about fundraisers and asks for recommendations for local pool swim clubs for her kids. And on a quick glance, she seems pretty normal, but. Oh, man. Then you get into the intro part of her Facebook page and I'm just gonna read it to you, okay? Stop disturbing women. You're not ready for 100. Cannabis is the lube I use to slide through life.
Rory Scoville
So, look, I'm not gonna say. I'm not gonna steal that second one.
Josh Dean
And then there's more. Rory.
Rory Scoville
Good.
Josh Dean
There's a link to her OnlyFans account.
Rory Scoville
No, no, Josh, no.
Josh Dean
Oh, yes. And I'm going to read here what she says to her fans. Hello, fans. Neen here. I guess Neen must be her nickname. I'd love to show you my pretty toes decorated with your favorite color nail polish. Sometimes decorated in jewelry. Tiptoe with me and you'll see. Come with my feet. I'm not going to tell you how come was spelled there.
Rory Scoville
I can guess.
Josh Dean
And toes, on a fabulous journey beyond your wildest dreams.
Rory Scoville
You know, it's interesting. What an interesting sales pitch.
Josh Dean
Yeah.
Rory Scoville
Doesn't know how to write a great slogan for Facebook. Great at only fans pulling people in.
Josh Dean
I bet you didn't think that feet was going to be her specialty, right?
Rory Scoville
I did not think it was going to be feet at all. But I got to say, if you're going to do something that you're going to sort of consider to be the G rated version of OnlyFans, Feet does feel like a good way to go. Where you are going to make some bank. You said she's a single mom. Look, so far I'm still on the. I kind of like what I'm seeing. This woman is unique. Her crimes are seemingly original. I don't know anyone else. Spraying cars down with diarrhea. Good for her. You don't honk at her. I bet you didn't see this allegiance coming, Josh.
Josh Dean
Well, a reporter from Philly Mag, doing the dirty work for all of us asked Christina a question that, well, I. No one really wanted to know the answer to. And that is regarding your Only Fans account. I know that some women on OnlyFans specialize in, well, scatological porn. Giving the events of your week, I was wondering if that's something you delve into. And she had an answer for that?
Rory Scoville
Yes.
Josh Dean
You want me to fucking shit on you? I want 5K. And I'm bringing a bodyguard.
Rory Scoville
She knows the pricing and I'm bringing a bodyguard. You got to go 5k. You're going to lose 500 bucks to the bodyguard.
Josh Dean
You know, she's seeming more reasonable, I gotta say. You've. You're. You've talked me into. I immediately wanted to dismiss her as just a lunatic, but actually, you know what?
Rory Scoville
She's. She's playing the game of life, Josh.
Josh Dean
Well, wait till I tell you that. So her only fan rate started. It was 7. 99 before the incident. Went up to 30 bucks a month after the Philly Mag story appeared.
Rory Scoville
That's probably the best example of any press is good press. That's the best example of that. Shit on a car, be identified, up your rates.
Josh Dean
How many copycat. Now everybody's gonna be shitting, right?
Rory Scoville
We're gonna live in a world where people are just shitting all over the place.
Josh Dean
There can be only one Delco Pooper, though. So she's. She was held on $10,000 bond, was able to cough up a portion of that, and only was released the next day. So she only spent one night in jail?
Rory Scoville
Yep.
Josh Dean
So she appeared in court. On May 19th, the Honorable Judge Mary McFall Hopper was assigned. She watched the viral video in court and upheld the charges, which were indecent exposure, disorderly conduct, criminal mischief, harassment, and depositing waste on a highway. She also approved an additional charge of lewdness.
Rory Scoville
You know, depositing waste on a highway. That feels like a nice way to say littering, which this is not.
Josh Dean
No, no, no.
Rory Scoville
And you know, if I'm crazy, call me crazy, but you know, when you finish a banana and you've got the peel or you finish an apple and you've got the core and you litter that out your window. Because that's just not litter.
Josh Dean
It's biodegradable.
Rory Scoville
Is that not what she like? Are we led to believe that this poop out of her ass is a forever chemical?
Josh Dean
Can we just have that quote out of context? We're putting that out on the social.
Special Agent Regal / FBI Narrator
Yeah.
Rory Scoville
Could that be the trail for this episode?
Josh Dean
Are we led to believe that the poop out of her ass is a forever chemical?
Rory Scoville
Yeah, I got to listen this week. What do they delve into this week?
Josh Dean
That concludes our first story. I briefly interrupt this episode to offer an important update on the so called Delco pooper. As of the waning days of 2025, Cristina Salamento opted to avoid trial entirely and volunteered for a Pennsylvania program for first time offenders known as the Accelerated Rehabilitative Disposition Program. In order to finish the program, Christina must complete a two year program that includes probation, anger management courses and community service. She's also forbidden from posting about the incident on her social media, which is probably for the best anyway. But if she manages to complete all that, prosecutors will dismiss her charges and wipe her record clean. Now back to our episode. Any questions or concerns, Roy?
Rory Scoville
I mean, I gotta say it is good to know that if I ever am in a heated road rage moment, I now know shitting on someone's car is not necessarily, you know, just get out of jail free card. It is. It's not.
Josh Dean
Okay, but you can also turn it into a much more lucrative only fans account.
Rory Scoville
That's the thing. I got to get my only fans. I got to ask people if they want me to on them.
Josh Dean
You need a good bodyguard, Josh.
Rory Scoville
Do you want in? You want five hundo? I'm in. You want to. You want a cool 500?
Josh Dean
Hey, we said pooping. No peeing.
Rory Scoville
Yeah, no pee. That's an extra. That's extra.
Josh Dean
That's not the only story like this that I have for you this week. Perfect. This is not. I mean, it was a unique crime and I think Christina will, will be a legend of the Internet forever. But between 2012 and 2015 in Akron, Ohio, a different person was taking enormous dumps on cars. Residents of the Kenmore neighborhood were waking up to see piles of crap on their hoods or smeared on the windows or handles if they left the doors unlocked. Sometimes they'd find poop ins. Moonroofs took on a whole new meaning, man. Police claim that there were 19 reported incidents, but residents of the neighborhood estimate the rogue pooper had actually shit hundreds of times across the neighborhood. Some victims were targeted more than once. One kid's bright yellow car got shit on six times.
Rory Scoville
Wow.
Josh Dean
So neighbors had theories that it was a dog, which hilarious to imagine that
Rory Scoville
that's the case, but that is such wishful thinking. I hope this is just a dog
Josh Dean
who opened the door of my car
Rory Scoville
and crapped inside and made human. I hope that's who did this.
Josh Dean
Others just brushed it off, literally and metaphorically. They didn't even bother to file a complaint. So it took three years. It wasn't until 2015, actually two years after the pooping commenced, when police started seriously investigating. Problem was, they had no evidence to go with. Except for the giant piles, steaming piles of DNA at the scene, of course. But do you.
Rory Scoville
Is this. This was all in one neighborhood?
Josh Dean
Yeah, one part of Akron. Okay, gotcha. And I'm guessing if the cops were waking up to turds on their cruisers, these DNA samples would have been collected and tested. But instead, it wasn't really serious enough for them to do that kind of investigation. There was no clear motivation. There were no threatening messages scrawled in the poop. It was then the victims themselves, the residents of the neighborhood, who made the first big break in the case.
Rory Scoville
Yes. I love this kind of shit. Here we go.
Josh Dean
Let's go, citizen vigilantes.
Rory Scoville
This is a way different version of don't fuck with cats. Here we go.
Josh Dean
So one guy just gets so tired of cleaning shit off his daughter's car, she got hit seven times.
Rory Scoville
You know what I mean?
Josh Dean
So he, Jerry rigs a camera to surveil the crime scene.
Rory Scoville
Yeah.
Josh Dean
And now this is before ring cameras recorded our every moment to report back to Overlord Bezos. This guy set up his camera so it would take a photo every 12 seconds. He collected 30,000 photos over the course of two weeks. Not a bare bottom in sight until he caught this image. Oh, I like that. They blurred his butt. That's tasteful.
Rory Scoville
Not even a mask. Nope.
Josh Dean
So, Rory. Yeah? What are we looking at there?
Rory Scoville
I mean, I did not expect to see such a crystal clear photo of someone's face. Like, I kind of. I kind of thought for sure they'd have on a ski mask or something. But instead we got a guy, pants down.
Josh Dean
Yeah.
Rory Scoville
Doing what? What was her name? Christina.
Josh Dean
Yep, Christina.
Rory Scoville
Doing what Christina did. Which is always the hood. I guess that's going to be the most accessible spot of the car.
Josh Dean
Also the most comfortable to sit on, maybe.
Lane Rose
Yeah.
Rory Scoville
And he's just shitting onto the car.
Josh Dean
The poop Bandit says this headline in
Rory Scoville
the Daily News, poop Bandit.
Josh Dean
So this photo is distributed far and wide. A staff writer for the Akron Beacon Journal says the photo was, quote, the most widely circulated image since Ruby shooting Oswald.
Rory Scoville
All right, that's, you know, kind of impressive.
Josh Dean
It made headlines everywhere. The Daily Mail called him the filthy felon. Huffington Post called him the Bowel Movement Bandit. And the Poopatrator. Esquire wrote about it, enlisting their readers to, quote, help find the Akron Carpooper. I'm sure we would have mobilized our masses to find this guy.
Rory Scoville
Yeah.
Josh Dean
But after two months of interviews, police suspended their investigation. The trail went cold, and they said they had more pressing cases to dedicate their time to.
Rory Scoville
I have theories. I have theories.
Josh Dean
So, as of now, despite going very viral, the Bowel Movement Bandit is still unidentified, which seems a little sus to me.
Rory Scoville
It has to always be alliteration. That's These names, they only work if there's alliteration. Bowel Bandit. So you're saying right now this is still unsolved? I do have a theory. Okay. I feel like the cops are not doing enough. Making me think this guy's on the inside. Also, that guy's. That guy had a cop face.
Josh Dean
He did. I agree with you there. He had, like, a shaved head.
Rory Scoville
He did look coppish. Like he's trying to look, you know, intimidatingly authoritative.
Josh Dean
Like if you. Yeah. Like you've kind. If you thought, like, what does a cob in Akron look like? That guy did look like a cop.
Rory Scoville
That guy pops up. That guy poops up. Sorry, I could have. That. Could have had. That way locked and loaded. And I did it.
Josh Dean
We'll edit it to make it seem quicker. If you thought, like, what does a cob in Akron look like? That guy did look like a cop.
Rory Scoville
That guy poops up.
Josh Dean
So, yeah, surely somebody knows who this guy is. So we went to Reddit, where all of the most important crimeless questions are answered.
Rory Scoville
Yep.
Josh Dean
And a lot of people are there in the comments saying they swear it was their ex or their boss. But one comment said, and this is like, it's going to take a bit of a dark turn. I apologize in advance. I had heard that he was the firefighter who killed himself after that photo was published. I know we need. I know we need, like, a sound effect here that.
Rory Scoville
Wait, is that confirmed?
Josh Dean
No. So, but there is a little bit more to it. There's some meat on the bone. So let me. Okay, we did a Google search from there, and yes, there was an Akron Firefighter who committed suicide in 2015 that led us to report about a retired fire captain who killed himself. It gets worse. Rory and his wife in a murder suicide.
Rory Scoville
You. Can I just say, you really pulled us into something here. At no point. At no point was there ever even a hint it's going to go real dark. No point.
Josh Dean
Oh, you didn't think that. You didn't think this is where we were headed?
Rory Scoville
And then my favorite part was the trigger warning for myself. And our listening audience was literally seconds before you said it. It's like we're 30 minutes into the movie, and just now the R rating popped up. Oops, sorry, kids. We forgot to tell you. All right, so we have a murder. A murder suicide is what we're talking about here.
Josh Dean
Yeah, and again, like, we don't know for sure. I'm not. We're not going to name names because it's not a tragic story, and I don't want to make light of.
Rory Scoville
So we just went from bowel bandit super fun alliteration to murder suicide.
Josh Dean
That is correct. Wow.
Rory Scoville
I know the turns on this show, folks. You cannot guess where Josh is going to take us.
Josh Dean
You don't. That's what. That's why they tune in, Rory.
Rory Scoville
It's the mystery of it all.
Josh Dean
I want to see what you think. Here's a photo of the pooper and a photo of the firefighter.
Rory Scoville
Yeah, Yeah, I could see that.
Josh Dean
Yeah. It's not a hundred percent sure because he's wearing a. The. The pooper has a beanie on, right?
Rory Scoville
It is wildly close. Yeah. I don't know. I can't confirm, but I gotta say, that's a pretty good theory.
Josh Dean
Yeah. So, again, I want to say this is a theory posted on Reddit. We didn't make this up, nor. Nor is it confirmed, but the timelines do match up. The photo of the pooper was posted and circulated on March 11, and the firefighter killed himself on March 12.
Rory Scoville
So, okay.
Josh Dean
Yeah, I mean, it seems quite possible, but again, not proven Reddit theory. We would be irresponsible if we said
Rory Scoville
otherwise, but it's also the most viewed photo since Ruby killing Oswald.
Josh Dean
All kinds of surprises in this episode. The other issue. The guy didn't live in Kenmore. He lived in New Franklin, which is a town outside of Akron, which would explain why none of the neighbors recognized him, of course. Right. So if the guy's coming from a different area, like, they wouldn't say, hey, that's Kevin. But he would have known their area because he's a Fire captain. So he would have been all over the place, right? He had just retired a month before his death. Yeah. So, anyway, consider this party officially pooped.
Rory Scoville
Nice. Nice way to pull it back in after the break.
Josh Dean
One more for the pile.
Rory Scoville
All right, one more. Sorry.
Josh Dean
This one won't be as dark. I promise.
Rory Scoville
Now I don't believe you. I can't trust you ever again.
Josh Dean
I'm not. You shouldn't trust me. Over again.
Special Agent Regal / FBI Narrator
China's Ministry of State Security is one of the most mysterious and powerful spy agencies in the world. But in 2017, the FBI got inside.
Rory Scoville
This is Special Agent Regal. Special Agent Bradley Hall.
Sixth Bureau Podcast Narrator
This MSS officer has no idea the US Government is onto him. But the FBI has his chats, texts, emails, even his personal diary. Hear how they got it on the Sixth Bureau podcast.
Rory Scoville
I now have several terabytes of an MSS officer, no doubt, no question of his life.
Josh Dean
And that's a unicorn.
Rory Scoville
No one had ever seen anything like that. It was unbelievable.
Special Agent Regal / FBI Narrator
This is a story of the inner workings of the MSS and how one man's ambition and mistakes opened its vault of secrets.
Sixth Bureau Podcast Narrator
Listen to the 6th Bureau on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Amanda Knox
In 2023, a story gripped the UK evoking horror and disbelief.
Rory Scoville
The nurse who should have been in charge of caring for tiny babies is now the most prolific child killer in modern British history.
Amanda Knox
Everyone thought they knew how it ended. A verdict. A villain, a nurse named Lucy Letby.
Josh Dean
Lucy Letby has been found guilty.
Amanda Knox
But what if we didn't get the whole story?
Josh Dean
The moment you look at the whole picture, the case collapses.
Amanda Knox
I'm Amanda Knox, and in the new podcast Doubt the Case of Lucy Letby, we follow the evidence and hear from the people that lived it to ask what really happened when the world decided who Lucy Letby was.
Josh Dean
No voicing of any skepticism or doubt.
Rory Scoville
It'll cause so much harm at every
Josh Dean
single level of the British establishment. Of this is wrong.
Amanda Knox
Listen to Doubt the Case of Lucy Letby on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Nancy Glass
I'm Nancy Glass, host of the Burden of Guilt Season two podcast. This is a story about a horrendous lie that destroyed two families. Late one night, Bobby Gumprite became the victim of a random crime.
Josh Dean
He pulls the gun, tells me to
Rory Scoville
lie down on the ground.
Nancy Glass
He identified Tremaine Hudson as the perpetrator. Jermaine was sentenced to 99 years.
Rory Scoville
I'm like, lord, this can't Be real. I thought it was a mistaken identity.
Josh Dean
The best lie is partial truth.
Nancy Glass
For 22 years, only two people knew the truth. Until a confession changed everything.
Sixth Bureau Podcast Narrator
I was a monster.
Nancy Glass
Listen to Burden of Guilt, Season 2 on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Mind Games Podcast Host
What if mind control is real?
Josh Dean
If you could control the behavior of anybody around you, what kind of life would you have?
Mind Games Podcast Host
Can you hypnotically persuade someone to buy a car?
Rory Scoville
When you look at your car, you're gonna become overwhelmed with such good feelings.
Mind Games Podcast Host
Can you hypnotize someone in sleeping with you?
Special Agent Regal / FBI Narrator
I gave her some suggestions to be sexually aroused.
Mind Games Podcast Host
Can you get someone to join your cult?
Amanda Knox
NLP was used on me to access my subconscious.
Mind Games Podcast Host
Nlp, AKA Neuro linguistic programming, is a blend of hypnosis, linguistics, and psychology. Fans say it's like finally getting a user manual for your brain.
Josh Dean
It's about engineering consciousness.
Mind Games Podcast Host
Mind games is the story of nlp. It's crazy cast of disciples and the fake doctor who invented it at a new age commune and sold it to guys in suits. He stood trial for murder and got acquitted. The biggest mind game of all, nlp, might actually work.
iHeart Podcast Announcer
This is wild.
Mind Games Podcast Host
Listen to mind Games on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Josh Dean
Welcome back to Crimeless. We're here this week to do our duty. I'm sorry.
Rory Scoville
No, that's a good one. Okay, I'll allow it.
Josh Dean
All right. And go deep on America's grossest criminals. Any philosophical thoughts to share at this point before I go on?
Rory Scoville
I mean, I'm. I'm so wrapped up in the lies that you've told me, Josh. I don't know if I know who you are anymore.
Josh Dean
All right, so our last story of the week takes place in New Jersey, because, of course it does. With all respect to our neighbors, I live in New York City. Most of us do here on the show. Parts of the Garden State Smell. I'm sorry. Like shit. It's just true.
Rory Scoville
They know. They know.
Josh Dean
And unlike our previous public defecators, this serial shitter's target was not cars. It was school property. Okay, so 2018, students and staff at Holmdel High School in Holmdel, New Jersey, start to find random piles of poop on or near the track and football field on a daily basis. Presumably, some person had been relieving him or herself on school property early in the morning before anyone got to school. After putting up with this shit for too long, an anonymous source.
Rory Scoville
Gotta say, love that after putting up with this shit for too long.
Josh Dean
Beautiful.
Rory Scoville
Now, that's poetry, Josh.
Josh Dean
I mean, credit to Lane on that one. An anonymous source told a reporter with Patch Media that it happened eight times. So after eight times, school officials finally set a trap similar to the trap from our last story. They set up a camera. So surveillance video quickly caught someone underneath the bleachers. And yes, the Pooper trader, to borrow a nickname from our last story, was arrested at 5:50am on a Monday while he was running laps on the school's track. Do you want to guess who this person was?
Rory Scoville
Oh, my God. It's a teacher. Oh, no, it's someone affiliated with the school.
Josh Dean
It's the superintendent of a neighboring school district.
Rory Scoville
Okay.
Josh Dean
Wow. Thomas Trimaglini, 42, head of the Kenilworth School District, is a job, and it's a job he's had since 2015. So when he was arrested, media outlets did not hesitate with the name calling. I feel like this is just the gift that keeps on giving to headline writers. He was dubbed the Super Pooper and the Pooper Intendant.
Rory Scoville
Now it's fun. I swear to God, if this turns to murder, you're dead to me, Josh. You are dead to me. Anyways. He caused 9 11. Okay. Thanks, Josh. Thanks. Oh, I already. I know you got more here. I'm already. He knew the investigation, right? He must have known about the cameras.
Josh Dean
You. Well, he was. It was a neighboring school district, though, so maybe not. Do they share intel? I don't know.
Rory Scoville
Oh, so he was jogging on the track at a different school in a different district.
Josh Dean
Exactly.
Rory Scoville
Oh, wow.
Josh Dean
I mean, he would.
Rory Scoville
I mean, maybe this guy's just a big fan of all the, you know, hijinks that happened during homecoming.
Josh Dean
Yeah, I mean, maybe. Or, like. Maybe he, like, lost to that school in the volleyball championship or something.
Rory Scoville
This guy could be more fun than he's getting given credit. He's clearly successful. He's a pooper intendant, which is gonna. Which is obviously my next tattoo.
Josh Dean
So once this breaks the news, he takes a leave of absence, which seems pretty sensible. Of course, later, he has to resign from his $147,000 a year position as the superintendent of the Kenilworth School District. And I. Lots of questions here. Why not? Hold it. Why are you dropping your pants on school property? Why this school property? You don't even work here. Yeah, so a few days after his arrest, a local news outlet published a story that showed there's not one, but three porta Potties just steps from where he was relieving himself.
Rory Scoville
Oh, so this is a kink or something, right?
Josh Dean
Unclear at this point, but he's charged with different. This is different than Christina's charges. Public urination or defecation. Discarding and dumping of litter. So, okay, that's a new phrasing, but same problem. And lewdness.
Rory Scoville
Yeah, I guess the lewdness. I mean, technically, I'm sure there's no one around I. 147,000 a year. That's now. Good lord, to risk all that.
Josh Dean
I know, I know.
Rory Scoville
That's a nice little annual take.
Josh Dean
It is. And like risking it schools like good hours. He pleads guilty to defecating in public, which is a non criminal municipal offense, so I guess not. Some of the more serious charges. Pays a $500 fine in court cots Prosecutors then agree to dismiss the charges of lewdness and littering. His explanation, according to his lawyer, is that he had runner's diarrhea brought on from acute blood flow during exercise.
Rory Scoville
And that was happening every morning.
Josh Dean
I know, like, this doesn't happen to me when I run, but I have heard of people jogging with toilet paper.
Rory Scoville
Interesting.
Josh Dean
I feel like the question you probably have. His lawyer was asked, like, what about the porta potties? He said, quote, he was not certain he would have made it even if he did know they were there. Which I feel like if he's gone multiple times, he knows they're there. Right.
Rory Scoville
But also, what a great way to phrase that. I'm not sure I would have made it even if I knew they were there. Smart.
Josh Dean
Classic lawyer right there.
Rory Scoville
I'd hire this guy right now.
Josh Dean
So he also disputes the claim that he was a serial offender. He claimed that the time he was caught on camera was the only time it happened. And I'm just gonna say that's possible. Like, maybe he was set up here. But, like, what a weird coincidence if, like, the only time he ever accidentally has to go on the field, it's on the field, where someone has been shitting every day.
Rory Scoville
And I guess, was that not in the news? Maybe this wasn't in the news. Maybe this wasn't a talked about thing.
Josh Dean
I think it didn't make the news until his mug shot came out. So that's when it went sort of viral. But of course, that. That plays into this because he, a year later, sued the township, a school resource officer, and the police chief, saying the mug shot was unwarranted and that it was leaked to news agencies by the police department. He also alleges he was not properly informed of his rights by the person who took him into custody. According to the official complaint, this led to a spiral of false reports that he had been arrested on criminal offenses when he had just been cited for violations of non criminal ordinances. And yet it still led to him losing his job. I was used for clickbait. Trebbinglini said what I did was wrong, but I had a bathroom emergency.
Rory Scoville
Here's what I think. My final takeaway. Unless there's more.
Josh Dean
Nope, this is it.
Rory Scoville
My final takeaway is I think he was the guy doing it, but I think he's really smart and I think he's maybe. I think he's maybe actually right about all these things. Like he figured out his loophole to get to do his weird crime. And I bet he is right about all those things. I'm willing to bet there was a leak of the photo and he wasn't properly informed.
Josh Dean
I don't.
Rory Scoville
For some reason, I feel like cheering for this guy, despite the fact I think he was the guy the whole time.
Josh Dean
Like there was. He was doing it on purpose, but he.
Rory Scoville
But he knew his out. If he ever got caught.
Josh Dean
Well, let's hope he's. He is a superintendent of some school out there.
Rory Scoville
Ah.
Josh Dean
If.
Rory Scoville
If this country can get its act together, he'll be president one day.
Josh Dean
All right, after the break, our final segment. All right, Lane, what are we doing for our final segment today?
Rory Scoville
Lane's games.
Lane Rose
Incredible segue.
Sixth Bureau Podcast Narrator
Rory.
Lane Rose
About the presidential stuff. Because I want to talk about some famous number twos.
Rory Scoville
Oh.
Lane Rose
People who were just a heartbeat away from making number ones. This is. I got some vice presidential trivia for you.
Rory Scoville
All right. Perfect. Yes.
Josh Dean
Love it.
Lane Rose
Are you ready? It's just. This is just classic trivia.
Josh Dean
Yep. Okay.
Lane Rose
Three vice presidents have received the Nobel Peace Prize. Name one. Oh, bonus points if you can name more than one.
Rory Scoville
Oh, I thought I. So it's not catered towards dumb people. Okay, got it. Okay, Josh, you're gonna carry us here.
Josh Dean
All right. I'm gonna go Al Gore.
Lane Rose
That's right.
Rory Scoville
Oh, yes.
Josh Dean
Rory, can you. Can you name one, Rory, or we move on.
Rory Scoville
I. I have absolutely nothing.
Lane Rose
That's okay.
Josh Dean
What are the other two, Lane?
Lane Rose
Teddy Roosevelt got the first one. A first American to get one. And then Charles Dawes for his role reducing tensions between Germany and France after
Josh Dean
World War I. I've never heard of that man.
Rory Scoville
I've never heard of Charles Dawes. And I don't know that I would have guessed Teddy Roosevelt.
Josh Dean
All right. But I did get one.
Rory Scoville
But we are on the same team, so we are Currently winning one to nothing.
Lane Rose
Okay, so this vice president was the first VP of color.
Josh Dean
Oh.
Rory Scoville
Oh, Harris.
Josh Dean
Yeah, that's what I would have gone with, too.
Lane Rose
It's not true. That would be Charles Curtis. He was the 31st vice president from 1929 to 1933 under Hoover. He was Native American.
Rory Scoville
Let's just say that was not advertised ever.
Lane Rose
Yeah, I know. No one's talked about this. He was a member of the KA Nation.
Josh Dean
He was Native American. Okay, all right, all right, all right.
Lane Rose
Okay.
Josh Dean
This is harder than I thought it was going to be, Lane.
Rory Scoville
I got to say, it really is making me feel differently about Lane as we go forward.
Lane Rose
Good. That's what my intention was. Tommy Lee Jones and this vice president were roommates at Harvard.
Rory Scoville
Oh, I do know this Tommy Lee Jones. I think it might be Al Gore again.
Josh Dean
Yeah, let's go. Al Gore again.
Lane Rose
You're right. It's Al Gore.
Josh Dean
Look at us.
Lane Rose
Okay, moving on. Two vice presidents have resigned. Who are they?
Josh Dean
Wow. Resigned. Well, Nixon's vice president, which I believe was Agnew.
Lane Rose
Yes. Correct.
Rory Scoville
Yes. Wow.
Lane Rose
Josh, give me another one.
Josh Dean
Oh, wait. The guy who was impeached. Andrew Jackson. But I don't know whose vice president was.
Lane Rose
You're right.
Rory Scoville
If you know who that is, I have no idea. I know, but I don't want to share it.
Josh Dean
Rory doesn't want to show off.
Rory Scoville
I don't want to seem smart.
Lane Rose
John C. Calhoun.
Rory Scoville
John C. Calhoun.
Josh Dean
Of course.
Lane Rose
Duh. This vice president almost got eaten by cannibals, man.
Rory Scoville
What I like is that you think I could name presidents and vice presidents, let alone no little anecdotes about their lives.
Josh Dean
I'm, like, approaching the number. Maximum number of vice presidents I can name, but I'm just gonna say Dick Cheney. Even though it's not Dick Cheney.
Rory Scoville
I am just gonna say, I can't believe it's the hardest trivia game on the poop episode. I don't know. I don't know.
Lane Rose
It is George H.W. bush. He was VP under Reagan. He joined the Navy in 1944, and during a combat mission, his aircraft was downed by Japanese enemy fire. He was rescued in the open sea by a US Submarine, but the other service members in that mission were captured by the enemy, beaten, tortured, and eaten.
Rory Scoville
Wow.
Josh Dean
Next week on Crimeless.
Lane Rose
Yeah, maybe. All right.
Josh Dean
Whoa. Okay.
Lane Rose
Got a couple more.
Josh Dean
How is that not a story we all know?
Lane Rose
I don't know.
Rory Scoville
I think Lane made it up. Very creative, that Lane.
Lane Rose
I haven't made any of these up for the record, but I appreciate you thinking I'm that creative? This sleepy vice president was said to have slept up to 11 hours a night. He also took a pre lunchtime nap and then a two to three hour post lunch nap. Here's a hint. He was also president.
Rory Scoville
Is it Joe? Is it Sleepy Joe?
Josh Dean
It's gotta be.
Lane Rose
No, it's Calvin Coolidge.
Rory Scoville
I honestly thought we were getting roped into it to think it would be Sleepy Joe just because of the title.
Lane Rose
That's what I. That. See what I did there?
Josh Dean
Tricked us.
Lane Rose
I tricked you. This vice president was born on the day President Herbert Hoover died, which is October 20th, 1964.
Josh Dean
Oh, so he's young. It's J.D. vance. Oh, no. 64. No. J.D. vance isn't 60.
Rory Scoville
No.
Josh Dean
Kamala Harris.
Rory Scoville
I don't know. Probably. I mean, it'd have to be. It's got to be.
Josh Dean
She's 60.
Lane Rose
It is Kamala Harris.
Josh Dean
Yes.
Lane Rose
She's reincarnated Herbert Hoover.
Rory Scoville
Because if we find out it's Joe Biden, our timelines are gonna melt in our brains.
Josh Dean
He looks great for 60.
Rory Scoville
He looks really good.
Lane Rose
That's it. You guys, Honestly, I think you would have gotten like a 2 on an AP history test.
Rory Scoville
Yes. Is that good? I don't know.
Josh Dean
That's like a half credit.
Rory Scoville
They wouldn't let me near the AP classes.
Josh Dean
Crimeless is a production of Smartless Media, Campside Media and Big Money Players in partnership with iHeart podcasts. It's hosted by Rory Scoville and me, Josh Dean. Our senior producer is Lane Rose. Emma Stiminoff is our associate producer. This episode was written by Lane Rose and me, Josh Dean. We're sound, designed and engineered by Blake Brook with support from Ewan lytram.
Rory Scoville
Ewan.
Josh Dean
Mark McAdam composed our theme song. The executive producers at Campside Media are Vanessa Gregoriadas, Matt Sher, and me, Josh Dean. The executive producers for iHeart podcasts and Big Money Players are Jack O', Brien, Lindsey Hoffman and Matt Apodaca. For Smartless Media, the executive producers are Will Arnett, Jason Bateman, Sean Hayes and Richard Corson. Bernie Kaminski is head of production. The associate producer is Matty McCann. A special thanks to our operations team, Ashley Warren and Sabina Mara. Do you have a question, comment or confession for the Crimlyist team? Email us@crimelessampsite media.com and if you enjoyed Crimeless, please rate and review the show wherever you get your podcasts. It helps people find the show and also makes us feel validated. Unless you're mean, in which case keep it to yourself. We'll see you next week, Crimeless Nation.
iHeart Podcast Announcer
This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.
Original Air Date: February 11, 2026
Hosts: Rory Scoville & Josh Dean
Produced by: iHeartPodcasts + Smartless Media
This hilariously irreverent episode of CrimeLess investigates the world of public defecation as crime—exploring infamous “serial poopers,” viral viral moments, and the not-so-glamorous legal consequences. Hosts Rory Scoville, comedian, and Josh Dean, veteran journalist and true crime podcaster, walk listeners through three wild tales: a viral road rage incident, a long-unidentified serial car defecator, and a scandalous superintendent. Their signature blend of detailed reporting and off-the-cuff comedy keeps the topic digestible, while the stories reveal surprising legal and human complexities.
(03:55)
"We've got an open and shit. I mean, shut case, an unsolved mystery, and a serial pooper who may have been framed." —Josh
(09:45)
"I wanted to punch her in the face, but I pooped on her car instead and went home." —Christina Salamento (police affidavit)
(13:47)
"You want me to fucking shit on you? I want 5K. And I'm bringing a bodyguard." —Christina (on her OnlyFans offers)
(15:48)
"Are we led to believe that this poop out of her ass is a forever chemical?" —Rory
(18:37)
"I hope this is just a dog who opened the door of my car and crapped inside and made human. I hope that's who did this." —Rory
(25:37)
"Consider this party officially pooped." —Josh
(32:22)
"He was dubbed the Super Pooper and the Pooper Intendant." —Josh
(37:20)
"If this country can get its act together, he'll be president one day." —Rory
This episode is a masterclass in turning the gross into hilarious, and the childish into surprisingly nuanced social commentary. The hosts probe not just the crimes themselves but the motivations, legal ambiguities, and the very human messiness behind acts that seem inexplicably bizarre. The show's tone is gleefully irreverent, driven by sharp comedic banter, but there's a genuine curiosity behind the poop jokes—a quest to understand why people cross such weird lines, and what happens next.
For fans of wild true crime, viral oddities, or just a really good story told with wit, CrimeLess’s “Super Poopers” is flush with surprises.