Who's leaving sausages in mailboxes? (And other mysteries)

Summary

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CrimeLess Podcast Summary

Episode: Who's Leaving Sausages in Mailboxes? (And other mysteries)

Podcast: CrimeLess | Hosts: Rory Scovel (comedian) & Josh Dean (journalist)
Release Date: June 3, 2026

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Overview

In this delightfully offbeat episode, hosts Rory Scovel and Josh Dean explore the world’s most bizarre unsolved (and recently solved) mysteries—cases that defy explanation and highlight the quirky side of true crime. From the “banana bandit” of Nottinghamshire to the notorious “suasageer” of Waiheke Island, Rory and Josh break down several delightfully strange cases, speculate on the perpetrators’ motives, and riff on the wild theories their stories have inspired. All roads lead to a high-energy, music trivia game about mystery show themes—perfect for lovers of comic banter and the world’s dumbest criminals.

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Key Segments and Discussion Points

1. Opening Banter & Episode Theme

[03:37–04:16]

• The hosts kick off with a loose intro, touching on intermittent fasting, fruit, and bowel health—a running joke throughout the episode.
• Theme Announcement: Unsolved mysteries that are “hard to categorize,” featuring fruit, conspiracies, and weird food crimes.

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2. The Nottinghamshire Banana Caper

[03:52–08:53]

• Case: For over a year, 15–20 peeled bananas (sometimes with honey) appeared monthly on a Nottinghamshire street corner.
• Local resident Claire Short posted a polite sign:

  “Please respectfully... No more bananas. The uncollected plates and rotting bananas leave such a mess.”
  —Josh Dean quoting Claire ([04:24])

• The “banana bandit” never got caught, even evading would-be vigilantes.
• Speculation: Was it a religious offering? Food for wildlife?
• Major UK law violated: Littering (up to £2,500 fine).

• “If there’s wild monkeys running amok, I’m doing whatever I gotta do to keep the peace.”
  —Rory ([07:32])

• The segment ends unresolved, blending mock frustration (“I’m fragile, Josh!”) and absurdity.

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3. Unsolved Mysteries—Show & Tell

[09:29–10:53]

• Rory shares that Unsolved Mysteries was his “drug of choice” as a kid.
• His favorite: The JFK assassination (“I don’t feel as though there was one shooter”).

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4. Schuylkill County “Notes” Conspiracy

[11:06–23:34]

• Case: Hundreds of cryptic, suspicious notes found inside packaged food in Pennsylvania (Schuylkill County, aka “Delco” region)—references to FBI, conspiracies, and odd keywords.
  • Notable detail: One found in a box of “Goodles” (mac & cheese co-founded by Gal Gadot).

• “Does Gal Gadot personally place a gibberish manifesto in each box?”
  —Josh Dean ([12:31])

• Theories:
  • Could be a retired person with time on their hands (Reddit).
  • A prank or mentally unwell individual; but how do they get inside factory-sealed packaging?
  • Could be an “inside job” at a food distribution center, or someone returning tampered products to stores.

• “What if they do something way more sinister?”
  —Harvey Levin, via a TMZ panel clip ([21:49])

• Hosts: Intrigued but unsettled, ask listeners for insider tips:

  “If you’re a whistleblower inside this operation... help us.”
  —Josh Dean ([23:00])

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5. Britain’s Most Annoying Man: The Silent Traffic Blocker

[23:46–27:30]

• Case: David Hampson, Swansea, Wales—”The Silent Man.” Stands wordlessly in traffic, repeatedly arrested since 2014.
  • Refuses to speak to police/judges (“mute of malice, not... visitation of God”).
  • His brother:

    “He never stops talking... He’s just a spoiled brat.”
    —Josh Dean quoting John Hampson ([25:54])

  • Jail time: 3.5 years for repeated “willfully obstructing the highway.”

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6. Solved Mysteries

a. New Jersey Pasta Dump

[31:53–36:38]

• The Pasta Mystery: 300–500 pounds of cooked pasta dumped along a creek.
  • Theories from kids: “The God of pasta...blessed the world.”
  • Real answer: A veteran cleaning out his late mother’s house found a stockpile of old pasta and dumped it, possibly for wildlife.

    “This is unexciting... I think this is a decoy story.”
    —Rory ([36:01])

b. The Surf Dale “Sausager” – Sausages in NZ Mailboxes

[36:53–41:38]

• Case: Serial sausage deposits found in Waiheke Island mailboxes—barbecued, bread-wrapped, ketchup squirted—but always cold.
  • Spread to other friends’ mailboxes: “We realized we had a cereal sausageer on the island.”
    —Josh Dean quoting Jacob Kutsuya ([38:51])
  • Eventually revealed as “a sausage syndicate” (group prank by locals).

• “Every country... has its own Banksy.”
  —Rory ([39:56])

• The prank was considered harmless fun:

  “Wasting a hot dog is a class X felony in Trump’s America.”
  —Josh Dean ([41:25])

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7. Mystery Show Theme Song Game

[47:03–49:37]

• Lane, the producer, leads “Name That Song: Mystery Edition.”
• Rory shines, humorously doubting himself before crushing the competition:
  • Songs: Twilight Zone, X-Files, Scooby Doo, Columbo, Inspector Gadget, Twin Peaks

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• “I'm actually wildly upset that I'll get no closure from this. Josh, you can't walk me into these things. I'm fragile.” (Rory, [08:46])
• “You don't think this gibberish note is any kind of a spell cast by a wizard, do you?” (Rory, [15:27])
• “If you’re a whistleblower inside this operation... help us.” (Josh, [23:00])
• “Wasting a hot dog is a class X felony in Trump's America.” (Josh, [41:25])
• [On traffic-blocking David Hampson] “He never stops talking...he's just a spoiled brat.” (Josh quoting John Hampson, [25:54])

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High Points & Takeaways

• Tone: Consistently irreverent, playful, packed with banter and asides—but also enthusiastic about the weirdness of human behavior.
• Content Highlights: Each case spirals into speculation, from the plausible to the delightfully absurd—itching that itch for a blend of humor and true crime.
• Listener Engagement: The hosts directly implore for listener theories, drawing the audience into the fun.
• Game Segment: The “mystery edition” theme song game is a fan-service treat, showing off Rory’s encyclopedic pop culture mind.

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Nottinghamshire Banana Mystery – [03:52–08:53]
• Schuylkill County Notes – [11:06–23:34]
• Silent Traffic Blocker – [23:46–27:30]
• New Jersey Pasta Dump – [31:53–36:38]
• Waiheke Island Sausage Mystery – [36:53–41:38]
• Mystery Show Theme Song Game – [47:03–49:37]

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Conclusion

Who's Leaving Sausages in Mailboxes? is a banquet of baffling, true crime curiosities told with quick wit and infectious playfulness. Rory and Josh make each strange caper a launching pad for both sharp commentary and side-splitting humor, all while reminding listeners just how weird—and oddly delightful—the world can be.

Transcript

[Josh Dean]

This is an iHeart podcast.

[Nick Jonas]

Guaranteed human number one hits, millions of records sold awards, sold out tours. You think the Jonas Brothers are satisfied?

[Akilah Hughes]

Nope.

[Nick Jonas]

It's podcast time.

[Rory Scovel]

We get to ask other people questions because we're sick and tired of being asked questions.

[Nick Jonas]

Hey, Jonas is available now and their first guest is a big one, Paul Rudd.

[Joe Jonas]

You know, Steve Carell is a great singer. Can he tell you not to audition at the office or something? I told him, whoa, we were filming Anchorman. Clearly I was the idiot.

[Josh Dean]

Thank God he didn't listen to me, right?

[Nick Jonas]

Listen to hey Jonas on the iHeartrad Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Carlos King]

If you're watching the latest season of the Real Housewives of Atlanta, you already know there's a lot to break down.

[Theo Henderson]

Portia accusing Kelly of sleeping with a married man. They holding K. Michelle back from fighting. Drew Pinky has financial issues.

[Carlos King]

On the podcast Reality with the King. I, Carlos King, recap the biggest moments from your favorite reality shows, including the Real Housewives franchise, the drama, the alliances, and the tea everybody's talking about. To hear this and more, listen to Reality with the king on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcast.

[Akilah Hughes]

This is Saigon, the story of my family and of the country that shaped us.

[Rory Scovel]

From iheart Podcasts. Saigon. You don't think I'm serious about a free Vietnam? One city, a divided country and the war that tore America apart. This is for Vietnam.

[Josh Dean]

They're pouring petrol all over here. Freedom for Vietn. There's a fire coming to this country and it's going to burn out everything.

[Rory Scovel]

Listen to Saigon on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Theo Henderson]

I actually drive better when I'm high. It heightens my senses, calms me down. If anything, I'm more careful. Honestly, it just helps me focus.

[Josh Dean]

That's probably what the driver who killed a four year old told himself and now he's in prison. You see, no matter what you tell yourself, if you feel different, you drive different.

[Rory Scovel]

So if you're high, just don't drive.

[Josh Dean]

Brought to you by NHTSA and the ad Council. My wife is allergic to kiwis.

[Rory Lane]

Okay.

[Akilah Hughes]

Campsite media sparks glass me

[Rory Lane]

during COVID I was intermittent fasting and I. I felt incredible. I was like, Really? I dropped 10 pounds immediately. I stopped having any attraction to unhealthy food. Naturally, naturally. My body was so stoked to eat, like so much fruit. Fruit started to taste so good that I would start. I would start with a buffet of fruit at like 10 or 11am and I was doing the eight hours, so I think it was 11am to 7pm and because I was doing that 7pm cutoff, I was sleeping better. I was stopping anything in my gut.

[Josh Dean]

We're putting this out on the social. This is Rory's diet advice.

[Rory Lane]

You're listening to one five minute episode of what Rory's learned from other podcasts. Turns out fruit is healthy. Who would have thought? The thing you've been told your whole

[Josh Dean]

life, the colonoscopy diet, just eating like a monkey.

[Lane Rose]

Fruits, vegetables.

[Josh Dean]

Oh, that's right. Very relevant to this episode we're about to record too. Uh oh, I didn't even do that on purpose. Fruit is about to be very relevant.

[Rory Lane]

Love it.

[Josh Dean]

When doing research for this show, we try to make episodes based on themes. For example, stories about stealing cars. We had an episode about escaping from prison, tales of failed hitman hires. But sometimes we come across stories that are just really hard to categorize.

[Rory Lane]

Yep.

[Josh Dean]

So I have one. For example, there's a mystery that's perplexed residents of a Nottinghamshire suburb in England. This was 2025. For over a year, on the second day of each month, bananas appeared on a street corner. Specifically, 15 to 20 peeled bananas piled high on a plate. Some residents claimed that they were always drizzled with honey. Is that how you like your sliced bananas?

[Rory Lane]

I don't do that, but you might have just changed me forever.

[Josh Dean]

It sounds pretty good.

[Rory Lane]

Yeah, it does sound great.

[Josh Dean]

So a lady in the neighborhood named Claire Short, she finally got fed up with the discarded fruit because it was happening all the time, and she placed a sign on the site reading, please respectfully, and I should be doing this in an accent, but I won't. You could maybe do it afterwards. No more bananas. The uncollected plates and rotting bananas leave such a mess. Yeah, but she would have sounded much more polite than that.

[Rory Lane]

And where were. Where are we located for this?

[Josh Dean]

Nottinghamshire.

[Rory Lane]

Such a mess. Nay, more please. No more peeled bananas.

[Josh Dean]

What a British phrase. Uncollected plates.

[Rory Lane]

Uncollected.

[Josh Dean]

Unfortunately, this polite sign did not work and Claire reconsidered and removed it, saying she did not want to make this issue into a feud. Which is so British. Yeah, she put it out there because she was annoyed and she's like, oh, who am I? I don't want to start something.

[Rory Lane]

I'm not person who does this.

[Josh Dean]

Also, this is a passive aggressive quote. She said, I think it's a special thing for someone and I wish them well, but if they could come back and clean up the mess a few days later, that would be lovely.

[Rory Lane]

That would really. It'd be a real solid for the rest of us.

[Josh Dean]

That's. That. I could. That. I hear that one in like the Peppa Pig voice.

[Rory Lane]

Right.

[Josh Dean]

Does your daughter. Did your daughter watch Peppa Pig?

[Rory Lane]

No.

[Josh Dean]

No.

[Rory Lane]

I mean, if. If they did, it wasn't like a hit in our house. The way. I know it's a hit.

[Josh Dean]

It's a very polite British.

[Rory Lane]

Yeah, that would be lovely.

[Josh Dean]

Clean up the mess a few days later. That would be lovely. After the BBC covered the story, a pair of banana hunters drove three hours to investigate this mysterious fruit before the monthly drop. But the banana bandit was one step ahead of them avoided capture by choosing a different location to place their plate of bananas. Perhaps drizzled with honey.

[Rory Lane]

Yeah.

[Josh Dean]

And the mystery to this day remains unsolved. But neighbors have some theories. Some speculate it's a religious offering of sorts. I don't know what that would be. Okay. Others say the bananas are for local wildlife, which obviously, this being England, would be animals that are used to a diet of bananas. Yeah, the native species. Not many people know bananas are originally from England. Is that true? Nope.

[Rory Lane]

Oh, man. I. That's how dumb I am. You. I immediately was like, oh, this is one of those.

[Theo Henderson]

Yes.

[Rory Lane]

I Snapple facts. We're going to.

[Josh Dean]

I walked you into that one. I believe they were from walk.

[Rory Lane]

I literally. I marched right into it.

[Josh Dean]

So, yeah, maybe they're being proactive after what was happening with all those monkeys in Thailand who rioted after the public stopped feeding them.

[Rory Lane]

And this is smart.

[Josh Dean]

So they were like, I heard those guys talking about the monkeys on a cruise ship.

[Rory Lane]

This is proactive.

[Josh Dean]

Like, remember we joked. Or did we joke that they were going to get on the cruise ship and maybe they could get to England.

[Rory Lane]

Yeah.

[Josh Dean]

So they're like, just in case.

[Rory Lane]

Just in case. That's true.

[Josh Dean]

So whatever the reason behind this bizarre custom, the very act is against the law. You can probably guess what law that is.

[Rory Lane]

Don't feed monkeys.

[Josh Dean]

Littering. Yeah.

[Rory Lane]

Okay. Yep. Right.

[Josh Dean]

But also, I think you can't feed them. I think if. Well, if England had monkeys, I believe that also would be a crime. I don't think you're supposed to feed wildlife.

[Rory Lane]

Look, if there's wild monkeys running amok, I'm doing whatever I gotta do to keep the peace.

[Josh Dean]

Well, now that you've heard what happens.

[Rory Lane]

Yes, exactly.

[Josh Dean]

They took over the movie theater.

[Rory Lane]

Yeah. It's gremlins and a train. Yeah, it's gremlins.

[Josh Dean]

It's gremlins that turns into Planet of the Apes.

[Rory Lane]

I believe that if you beat them, join them.

[Josh Dean]

I mean, had we not stopped them. That was the start of it. Is the origin story of Planet of the Apes.

[Rory Lane]

Yes.

[Josh Dean]

They've come back in time, and we now know where we're headed if we're not careful.

[Rory Lane]

Right.

[Josh Dean]

Okay. So it's littering. And in Broxto Borough, littering is a criminal offense. You could be fined up to £2,500. But I recall, didn't you previously come out against the idea that organic matter is littering? Remember in the poop episode, it shouldn't be littering.

[Rory Lane]

Right, I agree. Yeah. To this point of this perturbed resident. I mean, leaving the plates is one thing, but I mean, it's just unsightly.

[Josh Dean]

But also that the bananas were rotting. Are there no rats in this town? Squirrels. That's how.

[Rory Lane]

That's how much it stands out. That's how clean the town is.

[Josh Dean]

It's just an eyesore from a Richard

[Rory Lane]

Scary book, this town. Right.

[Josh Dean]

The only litter there's ever been is this one plate of bananas. It shows up over and over again.

[Rory Lane]

Yeah.

[Josh Dean]

Do you have a theory? Like, this is unsolved this week? We're talking about mysteries. Do you have a theory? I don't know.

[Rory Lane]

I don't. I. Now I'm actually wildly upset that I'll get no closure from this. Josh, you can't walk me into these things. I'm fragile.

[Josh Dean]

Just you wait. I have a whole episode of teasers for you shit that you can ponder while you're cleansing your bowels. Yeah. Because today on Crimeless, we've got several more appealing mysteries. Just like the banana caper.

[Rory Lane]

Yeah.

[Josh Dean]

We have a few unsolved cases in which we'll share our own theories, and then in the end, we will end with some mysteries that were unraveled but which still remain confusing. Anyway, perfect. So grab your favorite sliced fruit and pull up a bean bag. Unsolved Mysteries week.

[Rory Lane]

Kiwi for me. Kiwi.

[Josh Dean]

Hello and welcome to Crimeless, the podcast that celebrates the amazing creativity of the world's dumbest criminals and tackles some of the world's most perplexing unsolved mysteries. I'm Josh Dean.

[Rory Lane]

And I am Rory Scovel.

[Josh Dean]

Do you have a favorite unsolved mystery from the world? Something in your life? Community.

[Rory Lane]

I mean, the show Unsolved Mysteries was my. That was my, like, drug of choice as a kid. Oh, this is so good. I feel like I'm having Deja vu. Maybe we've talked about it, or maybe I just recently had this conversation. I guess that in a way that it's unsolved and it's become a conspiracy theory, but the JFK assassination fascinates me to no end.

[Josh Dean]

We've not talked about it, so do

[Rory Lane]

you think I just. I was just recently having this conversation.

[Josh Dean]

Do you have a theory or, like, what's your position on the assassination?

[Rory Lane]

You know, I don't. I don't feel as though there was one shooter. I don't think there was. I think there's probable reasoning to believe that if there was one lone gunman that he would have maybe fired before the motorcade took the left turn to go in front of the depository. But, yeah, I don't know. It fascinates me. And I love the movie jfk. And I realize it's, you know, obviously its own version of propaganda, but that one has always lived in my soul as an unsolved, unclarified case.

[Josh Dean]

I was worried you were going to say contrails.

[Rory Lane]

Contrails. Oh, and also contrails.

[Josh Dean]

I don't know. You've been in Denver a while. You were in Berlin. You're a fruitarian.

[Rory Lane]

I'm a fruititarian now.

[Josh Dean]

All right. There are just so many, though. And our second one today involves, considering what you just said, secret societies, the FBI.

[Rory Lane]

Yeah.

[Josh Dean]

And of course, dried pasta.

[Rory Lane]

Yes, yes, Obviously, for this one, we're

[Josh Dean]

gonna start on Reddit, where a woman posted the following in 2025, found this piece of paper in this Goodalls box. I assume it's just nonsense, but what kind of nonsense? Rory, you might have a few questions first. Do you know what Goodalls are?

[Rory Lane]

Yeah.

[Josh Dean]

You do?

[Rory Lane]

Yes. It's the Also Goodles.

[Lane Rose]

What are you saying? Goodles.

[Rory Lane]

It's Googles. Goodles. Goodles.

[Josh Dean]

Goodles.

[Rory Lane]

Goodles. Noodles.

[Josh Dean]

Oh, it's noodle. I've been saying goodles all along. You're right.

[Rory Lane]

Yeah, they're great. It's a great alternative to your Kraft Mac and Cheese. It's a good Mac and cheese, and they have a gluten free option. That's pretty tasty.

[Josh Dean]

I also wanna say, in my defense, they're spelled G O O D L E S and the word G O D is goo.

[Rory Lane]

Goo.

[Lane Rose]

How do you say the word noodle?

[Josh Dean]

Noodles.

[Nick Jonas]

Noodles.

[Rory Lane]

Noodles. Noodles.

[Josh Dean]

I mean, now that we're. I realize it's a play on noodles, somehow it never occurred to me that it was a play on noodles, even though it is a noodle product. So. Damn it, I'M sorry.

[Rory Lane]

Nice.

[Josh Dean]

Also Goodles, if you're not familiar, as I clearly wasn't. It's a pasta company co founded by Gal Gadot.

[Rory Lane]

That's right.

[Josh Dean]

Did you know that?

[Rory Lane]

I did know that.

[Josh Dean]

Wait, what?

[Rory Lane]

Yeah.

[Josh Dean]

Where are you reading?

[Rory Lane]

I'm plugged into the world, Josh. I don't sit in a garage writing manifestos all the time.

[Josh Dean]

Oh, wait till you get to work. This is where we're headed. The other question is, does Gal Gadot personally place a gibberish manifesto in each box? Because Rory Lane's going to show you a picture.

[Rory Lane]

Okay.

[Josh Dean]

Can you read any of that? Probably not. But what are you. What are you seeing? Basically, what does it look like?

[Rory Lane]

It's a lot of known nouns. Place or, you know, CIA stuff. It's got FBI, Hamas, towers, different countries, all the like.

[Josh Dean]

Oh, there we go.

[Rory Lane]

Target words that you would think of if you were writing out bigger mass world domination through corporate type stuff. Major players. I see Bush's name. I see Obama's name. I see Sony, Peru, Rwanda, crusades. It keeps zooming in. Domino's. Domino's. Duncan Jello is on there. BMW. But it's not written out in a way that you could easily understand what it means in any capacity.

[Josh Dean]

No. I believe there's, like, letters missing and weird abbreviations, and it just. It's kind of nonsense.

[Rory Lane]

Right.

[Josh Dean]

But you're right, it is a lot of words that would be triggering to a conspiracy theorist. So notes like this one are called the Schuylkill Notes because a majority of them are found in Schuylkill County, Pennsylvania, which is very close to one of our favorite places on crimeless Delaware County.

[Rory Lane]

Yeah.

[Josh Dean]

AKA Delco. We can thus assume some of these notes were found in items purchased at Wawa.

[Rory Lane]

Yep. Wawa favorite gas station.

[Theo Henderson]

Great.

[Josh Dean]

Gas station.

[Rory Lane]

Convenience mart.

[Josh Dean]

It's now spreading out of the Mid Atlantic region. I've seen one in Florida. Thank God the sandwich is at Wawa. Surprisingly delicious.

[Rory Lane]

The milkshake. You just put the milkshake in. It blends it up.

[Josh Dean]

Why does Wawa not sponsor this show? Let's go.

[Rory Lane]

They will give them time if we build it. Yeah.

[Josh Dean]

So each note is written in a small font, and the message is always some word salad gibberish related to government conspiracy theories and secret societies. Hundreds of people have discovered notes like these over the past decade. They found the notes in packaged food products from major grocery stores, tucked into pockets of clothing from Goodwill, scattered along hiking trails, pinned on trees, placed on benches, all in the greater Philly area. One man, Joe Miller found bought a box of Lucky Charms s' mores on New Year's Eve 2023. The next day, he opened his cereal and found a little piece of paper. When he was asked by the news about his discovery, Joe was less concerned about the message on the note and more upset that he wasn't able to enjoy his Lucky Charms. He said, oh, I was devastated. I mean, I didn't want to eat the cereal, although I still have the box here. Probably not going to eat it. I don't know what's inside of the cereal or was this laced with anything.

[Rory Lane]

He explained, I love that his disappointment was, can I eat this cereal?

[Josh Dean]

But I love Lucky Charms s', more, sir. I think my guy ate the cereal. The emotional journey of his quote even was like, I'm so bummed that I can't eat the cereal, but I mean, maybe I could eat the cereal. You don't think it's laced with poison, do you?

[Rory Lane]

You don't think this gibberish note is any kind of a spell cast by a wizard, do you?

[Josh Dean]

I think he ate the cereal after the reporter hung.

[Rory Lane]

Let me just tell you, me personally,

[Josh Dean]

I'm for sure going to eat it same.

[Rory Lane]

I'm going to eat that cereal.

[Josh Dean]

How would you react to that if you opened it would freak me out.

[Rory Lane]

I'm easily spooked. That would freak me out.

[Josh Dean]

But you would eat the cereal anyway. Yeah. Would you call the police? What? What would you do?

[Rory Lane]

I actually don't know. I don't know what my true response would be. I would definitely get a photo of it with my phone and send it to many, many people.

[Josh Dean]

Yeah.

[Rory Lane]

Being like, what is going on here? Hoping someone has an answer. And I hope that answer is it's like a nationally known prank.

[Josh Dean]

If you just opened your box of Goodles, your favorite vegan pasta replacement product from Gal Gadot and found that.

[Rory Lane]

That's right.

[Josh Dean]

Would you tag Gal Gadot on your Instagram?

[Rory Lane]

Hey, what's going on here? What kind of recipe is this?

[Josh Dean]

Is this a type of recipe that I don't know?

[Rory Lane]

Yeah. Yeah. What is this?

[Josh Dean]

So this guy, anyway, he called the news and the FBI, and according to the Philadelphia Inquirer, the FBI can neither confirm nor deny that there's an investigation into the Schuylkill notes.

[Rory Lane]

Which means there is.

[Josh Dean]

Exactly. The fda, however, did confirm that they were investigating, but there's been no update on their findings. Government organizations are unlikely to share their theories on who's behind this. But that's what Reddit's for.

[Rory Lane]

Yeah.

[Josh Dean]

Answers to questions the government is too scared to tackle.

[Rory Lane]

Yeah, in a forum format.

[Josh Dean]

Also, completely unfounded theories and beliefs presented without comment.

[Rory Lane]

And that's why it's fun.

[Josh Dean]

Here's a few of the faves. One Redditor believes it's a recently last five years or so. Retired person or couple maybe with adult children who left home. I can easily see someone holding down a day job and doing this on the weekend, but that would eat up their free time. A small sacrifice to make if you're on a mission to expose the cabal though, huh? Okay, very specific. Recently retired with adult children who've left home.

[Rory Lane]

What does that mean, to expose the cabal?

[Josh Dean]

I think it's like the global. Like the, you know, Masons or whatever. What's the, what's the word the QAnon people use? Like they're basically a global conspiracy of powerful people who all work together to take us all down. I think it's related to contrails and everything else. The war, of course. Pizzagate. It's all related, Epstein.

[Rory Lane]

You know, I mean, am I in those societies?

[Josh Dean]

You'll never know.

[Rory Lane]

Am I in those chat rooms?

[Josh Dean]

Would I admit it if I was? Okay, here's another theory. I think it's a small right wing militia group that sees itself as an alternative the to proud boys. They're middle aged constitutionalists, survivalists and sovereign citizens. They recruit and have meetings around colleges. They have jobs in freight logistics, but their side hustles as small time drug deals to college kids. They hand these notes out at meetings and tell the kids to secretly pass them out and they do so as surreptitiously as possible.

[Rory Lane]

I think that's too easy to find a trail back to the Creator in that. I don't believe that one. I don't think that's legit. I think people like to stir the pot. They like to come up with crazy nonsense that has no meaning or thread and it's like a lot of key words and they like to go to a place like the grocery store where you can somewhat slide that into pasta Googles, you know, some packages that aren't fully sealed or where someone would notice that there's been a little tear in it or something.

[Josh Dean]

Yeah, I mean it also could just be a mentally unwell person. I mean like. Yeah, I mean a very elaborate prank that someone's playing. Although I feel like going to go to those links. Where's the payoff? I guess you're just driving people crazy.

[Rory Lane]

Yeah, right.

[Josh Dean]

But the real thing that sums me is how someone is Pulling this off. How are they getting the notes inside sealed packages? And how are they able to access a wide array of products?

[Rory Lane]

Right.

[Josh Dean]

One Reddit user theorizes that someone who works at a food distribution center where food is stored, sorted, and prepared to be shipped. An inside job. That seems plausible. Ambitious, though.

[Rory Lane]

It seems plausible. I guess that would kind of make the job a little more fun if you're in charge of the conveyor belt, of getting hard shells. And, I mean, I. I realize it's a different food products, but. Yeah, I guess if you're on the conveyor line and you're like, all right,

[Josh Dean]

I'm gonna stir up some shit.

[Rory Lane]

Yeah.

[Josh Dean]

In the movie version, though, this would have been. It was. It is a warning for a real disaster that did ultimately come. And they say you were warned for 10 years all around Schuylkill, Pennsylvania.

[Rory Lane]

We told you and we told this town for no reason.

[Josh Dean]

We just thought Philly people would get it.

[Rory Lane]

We told this town that honestly had nothing related to any of this.

[Josh Dean]

Their mascot's been sued the most times. They should really have known.

[Rory Lane]

Yeah.

[Josh Dean]

Another person believes the culprit works for a logistics company that delivers the food, while others think the person removes the food from the supply chain, places the notes inside, then reseals it and replaces it.

[Rory Lane]

I think that I would believe that the most.

[Josh Dean]

That's kind of what you suggested at first, right? Someone that's doing it later.

[Rory Lane]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Josh Dean]

In case you're wondering, tampering with food products is a federal crime. And luckily, there have been no reports from people getting sick from touching these notes. So they're not poisoned, but we shouldn't shrug them off just because no one's getting poisoned. Check out this clip from tmz, which assembled a panel of podcasters, UFO investigators, and archaeologists, for some reason, to discuss the Skukle notes.

[Harvey Levin]

Most of you guys probably don't know anything about this. Many decades ago, where there was product tampering with Tylenol.

[Rory Scovel]

Chicago, easy.

[Carlos King]

People died.

[Josh Dean]

People were poisoned.

[Harvey Levin]

This reminds me of that. There is this crazy product hampering in Pennsylvania with Schuylkill notes. It all happened after the Tylenol scare. But if they're getting into cereal boxes.

[Josh Dean]

Oh, inside the blast.

[Rory Lane]

Oh, look at that. That changes everything for me.

[Josh Dean]

With the cereal boxes, you have the box, and then you have the bag.

[Harvey Levin]

I gotta tell you, if they're getting into the actual bag inside the box box, and they're doing it in multiple products, I'm starting to feel. And these. And these notes are crazy, but varied

[Lane Rose]

I love it when the UFO investigator chimes in.

[Harvey Levin]

People working at plants.

[Josh Dean]

Or you don't even have to do it at the plant. You buy a box of Lucky Charms, you go home, you open the bag, you have your own sealer, put it back in, and then go take it back to the store.

[Harvey Levin]

What bothers me is if you're right. Even if you're right on that, it's like, okay, these are notes. What if they do something way more sinister?

[Rory Lane]

I've never even heard of this till

[Josh Dean]

right now, and now you're gonna be disappointed if you don't someday open some Googles.

[Rory Lane]

I feel like I wasn't chosen in a way.

[Lane Rose]

I have a Costco pack of Googles upstairs I'm gonna ramp into after this,

[Josh Dean]

go through them all.

[Rory Lane]

Yeah, I guess I kind of thought it was so much more juvenile. But you're right. Like, if they're getting into the plastic, it does make you go, oh, but this isn't, like, nationwide. It's so specific to that, like, area.

[Josh Dean]

I guess most of them. Not all of them, but most of them are.

[Rory Lane]

All right, well, then, guys, it's coming from somebody in that area.

[Josh Dean]

You would think, despite Harvey Levin convening a panel of podcasters, somehow we were not invited to.

[Rory Lane]

Yeah, I don't know. I felt that, too. I was like, oh, I'm sorry. We don't know what we're talking about. Which is true.

[Josh Dean]

Perhaps you not familiar with our work, speculating wildly about things we don't know.

[Rory Lane]

You want people who know what they're talking about. Okay, well, that's describing discrimination.

[Josh Dean]

If anyone listening to this has any tips or insights, we want to know, we can blow the lid on this case. We will solve it.

[Rory Lane]

Yeah, it would be us.

[Josh Dean]

Send us an email. Criminalistampsitemedia.com we would love to hear your theories, but also, if you're a whistleblower inside this operation, to help.

[Rory Lane]

Yeah, help our rating. Help us.

[Josh Dean]

Guys, let's solve this.

[Rory Lane]

This is how we try to do it.

[Josh Dean]

I had, like, been slightly aware of it. I had no idea how widespread it was. I mean, it's pretty crazy.

[Rory Lane]

It is crazy.

[Josh Dean]

It's bonkers and I guess slightly menacing. If it's inside the plastic, inside the boxes, and if those boxes aren't all coming from the same plant, it doesn't

[Rory Lane]

seem like one person's prank.

[Josh Dean]

What's the end game?

[Rory Lane]

Yeah, what is the end game?

[Josh Dean]

Stay tuned. It has something to do with what? Dunkin and. What was the other? Dunkin and Starbucks. They were random.

[Rory Lane]

Oh, Domino's, Domino's, Domino's and Jello.

[Josh Dean]

That's it. Those are. That's the clue. So our next case has been eluding folks for over a decade and like the sliced bananas, it takes place across the pond. I want to read you the Daily Mail headline for this one.

[Rory Lane]

Okay.

[Josh Dean]

The mystery of Britain's most annoying Man. Meet the silent repeat offender who constantly blocks traffic. But why does he do it? His name is David Hampson. And everyone in Swansea, Wales. Here, we're back in Wales.

[Rory Lane]

It's always Wales, the Florida of Europe, of the uk.

[Josh Dean]

So everyone at Swansea hates this poor bloke. He's known as the Silent man because he stands quietly in the middle of a busy road blocking traffic. And he's been doing it since 2014. That's just his thing.

[Theo Henderson]

Yep.

[Josh Dean]

David refuses to explain himself to anyone. He won't talk to police, judges or psychiatrists. He won't even speak to confirm his name in court. And so he's been convicted of the same offense 12 times and has been repeatedly jailed. Hampton, of no fixed abode, is always found guilty of the same charge, willfully obstructing the highway, contrary to section 137 of the Highways Act 1980, which, of course you knew by heart.

[Rory Lane]

Yeah, I was going to say that sounds familiar to me.

[Josh Dean]

You thought it was section 137 and not 39.

[Rory Lane]

Right, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Josh Dean]

Because obviously 139 is.

[Rory Lane]

I know the sections.

[Josh Dean]

Yeah.

[Rory Lane]

So I'm not trying to brag. That's not for the listeners to hear that and then decide to follow me on social media. No, it's for me to say. My hobby is knowing the sections.

[Josh Dean]

I think it's a subsection of the Montreal Protocol or whatever.

[Rory Lane]

Find my blog on Reddit, you'll see that I write about this stuff all the time.

[Josh Dean]

Here's how the crime usually goes down. He'll be spotted blocking traffic by officers. They'll escort him off the road and warn him he'll be arrested if he keeps it up. But minutes later, he's right back out there. At which point he's arrested and taken into custody. If David gets bailed out of jail, he'll just do it all over again. Now, you might be thinking, maybe he's maybe physically can't talk, maybe he's confused or having a mental health crisis, maybe he's taken a vow of silence for world peace or something. But no, according to his brother John, who said this to the sun tabloid back in 2024, he's not really mute. He never Stops talking. It is quite simple, really. He's just a spoiled brat.

[Rory Lane]

Interesting.

[Josh Dean]

There is nothing like a protest going on. He just does it to have a comfy life inside prison. The brother added, there is nothing wrong with him. He acts dumb, but I can tell you that he is not. So, yes, obviously my first reaction was like, he's mentally ill. Like, something. But no. So finally, the cops had enough. Silent man was sentenced to three and a half years in prison in 2021 after a jury found he was, quote, mute of malice, not quote, mute by visitation of God.

[Joe Jonas]

Oh.

[Josh Dean]

Which is fancy pants British legalese for he knows what he's doing and he's doing this on purpose, I think.

[Rory Lane]

Yeah.

[Josh Dean]

What a hobby it is. Among your hobbies, it's one of the most specific, peculiar.

[Rory Lane]

Look, we all get our drugs from different places. Yeah.

[Josh Dean]

You want to know how to start? Just did it one day and got such a high from it. He's like, that was exciting.

[Rory Lane]

I got to live my life this way.

[Josh Dean]

Just day in, day out, blocking traffic.

[Rory Lane]

I wonder how, like, how long he's able to block traffic.

[Josh Dean]

I mean, presumably they report him pretty often now.

[Rory Lane]

Yeah.

[Josh Dean]

We tried to reach out to him, but here's what he told us.

[Rory Lane]

And just to be clear to our listeners, that's him doing the cricket noise. That's what he did say to us.

[Josh Dean]

It's the only sound he'll do. I guess we could say David's brother solved this mystery, but until we hear it from his own mouth, we can't know for sure why this mysterious Silent man is causing traffic chaos in the second largest city in Wales.

[Harvey Levin]

Yep.

[Josh Dean]

But after the break, we have some bizarre mysteries that were solved and yet still left us confused.

[Joe Jonas]

Hey, it's us, the Jonas Brothers. And guess what? We have some big news. What's the news, Nick? Huge news. We created our own podcast called hey Jonas.

[Rory Scovel]

We invented a podcast.

[Joe Jonas]

Well, we didn't invent it. We. We just contributed to First People to do podcasts. Pretty. Yeah. Pretty wide range of podcasts, but this one's extra special. So how did we. How do we actually come up with the name hey Jonas? Guys, I honestly don't remember.

[Josh Dean]

I think it was on a call

[Joe Jonas]

about what we should call it, and we were thinking. I'm originally calling it one of the early names of our band before Jonas Brothers was. This is how you guys remember it going down? Yes. I have a very different memory of this. We were talking about a thing a

[Josh Dean]

bit for the podcast.

[Joe Jonas]

People could call in and say, hey, Jonas. And then I wrote down on my little notepad, hey Jonas. And offered it up as a potential title for the podcast. But thanks for remembering that. Guys, listen to hey Jonas on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Just listen. We don't care where you hear it.

[Josh Dean]

You can have opinions, you can have like a strong stance, and then there's your body having its own program.

[Dr. Maya Shankar]

I'm Dr. Maya Shankar, a cognitive scientist and host of the podcast A Slight Change of Plans, a show about who we are and who we become when life makes other plans. We share stories and scientific insights to help us all better navigate these periods of turbulence and transformation.

[Akilah Hughes]

There is one finding that is consistent and and that is that our resilience rests on our relationships.

[Rory Scovel]

I wish that I hadn't resisted for so long the need to change. We have to be willing to live with a kind of uncertainty that none of us likes.

[Dr. Maya Shankar]

Listen to A Slight Change of plans on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Theo Henderson]

Mainstream media is full of crude depictions of the unhoused stories that sh and blame and paint the unhoused as a monolith. We the Unhoused is the podcast that's changing that. I'm Theo Henderson, creator and host, and for years I've created a space where the unhoused and their advocates can tell their own stories. In the last few months alone, I've interviewed unhoused parents, immigrants, mutual aid organizers, veterans, the LGBQTIA community, and the policymakers who make the laws that impact the unhoused existence. Radiant House is a two time Webby and Signal award winning show with many exciting guests on the horizon. Tune in this week for my interview with Dr. Jill Wicheric, a street doctor turned influencer whose work with the unhoused community has made a huge impact online and in her community. Listen to we the unhoused on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast.

[Rory Scovel]

Keith Giamanca seemed like a mild mannered suburban dad, but secretly he became someone else, a master of disguise who went on a crime spree. At the time, did it seem like a crazy idea? It seemed very crazy. But I felt so desperate that I felt it was the quickest, easiest way out. Did you allow yourself to think about

[Josh Dean]

how it could go wrong and what

[Rory Scovel]

that might look like? No, I didn't want to manifest that.

[Josh Dean]

I was trying to manifest success.

[Rory Scovel]

Every family has its secrets. But what happens when you discover that your dad has been living a double life.

[Akilah Hughes]

That is not the look of an innocent man. This is going to change my life and my family dynamics forever. Because everything that had existed prior in my reality is now untrue.

[Rory Scovel]

Listen to Deep Cover the Family man on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Josh Dean]

Hello and welcome back to Crimeless. Now to the much less frustrating portion of the show where we get closure on some head scratching mysteries and the instead of just asking questions that we do not answer. I remember this one pretty well. So back in 2023, some pasta was found dumped along a creek in Old Bridge, New Jersey. Did you clock the story?

[Rory Lane]

That sounds vaguely familiar.

[Josh Dean]

Yeah, I think it went kind of meme ish. And I'm not talking about like one discarded potluck dish. We're talking real volume here. 25ft of spaghetti, macaroni, ziti, and Alphabet noodles. Unclear if Googles were in the mix. Noodles.

[Rory Lane]

Noodles.

[Josh Dean]

An estimated three to 500 pounds of pasta just dumped in the W. Yep. After photos of the pasta circulated on Facebook, the Department of Public Works of Old Bridge, New Jersey, found, quote, what appeared to be 15 wheelbarrow loads of illegal dumped pasta along a creek in a residential neighborhood.

[Rory Lane]

Okay.

[Josh Dean]

A police officer filed a report, and then two public works employees cleaned up the pasta in under an hour, which I find hard to believe.

[Rory Lane]

Under an hour?

[Josh Dean]

Three. Three to five hundred pounds. Like, just, you know, how messy a bunch of pasta in a pile in

[Rory Lane]

the woods would be, how difficult it is to, like, handle.

[Josh Dean]

It's like picking up dimes off the pavement.

[Rory Lane]

Feels gross.

[Josh Dean]

So gross. So gross.

[Rory Lane]

Yeah, you got. You got to give yourself a little bit of time to get over the grossness of it.

[Josh Dean]

So gross. Got to be one of the, like, cold. Just piles of cold pasta.

[Rory Lane]

Zombie brains. Classic zombie brains. Halloween.

[Josh Dean]

You're right. That is what people used to use for zombie brains. Did you work in a haunted house at one point?

[Rory Lane]

I still do. I still. That's kind of how I make my scratch.

[Josh Dean]

You got an amazing recipe for zombie brains.

[Rory Lane]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. One of the best in town. These are just failed attempts at zombie brains. This is just. This is someone literally just throwing pasta at the wall and see what sticks.

[Josh Dean]

Like, oh, it's not quite right.

[Rory Lane]

It's not quite right. Get it out of here. Throw it into the woods.

[Josh Dean]

So for a while, the person remained a mystery. The New York Times, normally a bastion of investigative journalism, but maybe just having a lazy day here, asked students from across the country to put forth their theories.

[Rory Lane]

Yeah.

[Josh Dean]

And they had some fun. A high schooler named Mitchell said, you see, the reason there are hundreds of pounds of pasta is because the God of pasta decided to bless the world with tons of spaghetti noodles and various kinds of noodles. The God of pasta saw the state of the world and all those who starved and decided to take pity on those people. So the divine entity briefly made the creek into a stream of noodles to wash ashore in Old Bridge, New Jersey. Now it is up to us to spread the word of pasta. As our one true savior, we must be spread the pasta far and wide in order to appease our savory overlords.

[Rory Lane]

Yeah, I mean, that's what's going to happen when you do one of these surveys. You're going to get some people nailing

[Josh Dean]

it just right off the bat.

[Rory Lane]

Yeah, you're going to get some people ruining the mystery.

[Josh Dean]

Was he trying to be funny? Was that an earnest attempt? I don't know.

[Rory Lane]

It does sound like the guy who did it. I don't know if it's me doing the fasting thing, but, my God, it makes me hungry. I'm also angry that someone would just disrespectfully discard pasta like that.

[Josh Dean]

Three to five hundred pounds and different types.

[Rory Lane]

As soon as you said ziti, I was like, what the.

[Josh Dean]

They've crossed a line with ziti.

[Rory Lane]

I was okay with it.

[Josh Dean]

Fusilli, fine.

[Rory Lane]

There's certain words we can lose. Yeah, but ziti, you don't do that to ziti. That's one of my favorite Sbarro choices. That's right. You heard. You heard correct, listeners. In high school, I went to Sbarros.

[Josh Dean]

And you didn't eat the slightly cardboardy pizza.

[Rory Lane]

I did. I got that. And I got baked ziti. And I'll tell you what, in my memory, that baked ziti will live forever, is perfect, Delicious. I'll never go now to find out.

[Josh Dean]

No, Some things should just be left beautiful as they were.

[Rory Lane]

Yeah.

[Josh Dean]

Okay, so the real answer is a little less fantastical than the children have suggested. According to WNBC in New York. Neighbors said the noodles came from a nearby home that's up for sale. A military veteran was moving out of his deceased mother's home, and he apparently found a stockpile of old food that she kept in the house. And for some reason, rather than dumping his mom's piles of pasta into trash bags, he decided to take it into the woods, maybe to feed the wildlife.

[Rory Lane]

This feels. I don't know, it's unexciting. I don't think it's true. Oh, I think this is a decoy story. Oh, yeah.

[Josh Dean]

Oh, by the way, a new detail. According to Lane, the noodles were dumped raw, but thanks to a recent rain, the pasta expanded, so it's even more.

[Rory Lane]

Took up even more space.

[Josh Dean]

If the wildlife theory is to be believed, this is at least a better dining experience for the raccoons.

[Rory Lane]

I mean, maybe he did believe that animals would eat this.

[Josh Dean]

I know.

[Rory Lane]

Even though it would break their teeth.

[Josh Dean]

He should have cooked it first then.

[Rory Lane]

It doesn't make sense.

[Josh Dean]

Yeah, it's bizarre, but people are dumb, if true. What a strange decision.

[Rory Lane]

Yeah.

[Josh Dean]

To not throw it in bags.

[Rory Lane]

To create an art installation that became universally known. Aliens are talking about this?

[Josh Dean]

Yeah. How much harder to put it in a wheelbarrow and take it to the creek?

[Rory Lane]

We could see it from space.

[Josh Dean]

It's the seventh man made wonder. All right, so that one was solved. Last but not definitely. Not least is another favorite of mine, the surf Dale Sausageer of Waihiki Island, New Zealand. This is the summer of 2022, and Jacob Kutsuya checked his mailbox, but instead of bills or junk mail, he found a sausage. A single sausage wrapped in bread squirted with tomato sauce. It was cold to the touch, but it did appear to have once been barbecued.

[Rory Lane]

Man. So why are you doing this? Me? When I'm fasting, you're giving me all this.

[Josh Dean]

You're like a single cold sausage on a piece of bread with tomato sauce.

[Rory Lane]

I'll tell you every Italian cuisine possible. Manicotti.

[Josh Dean]

You're so tempted by a cold sausage on a piece of white bread with some tomato sauce right now.

[Rory Lane]

Oh, my God, Truly, you could name anything. It was just covered in. It was just a jar of mayonnaise in there. You got it.

[Josh Dean]

Well, it's gonna get worse for you, Rory, because Jake, he didn't think too much of it. He assumed it was a drunken prank by someone in the neighborhood. I once had a friend who used to get drunk and steal food from parties by stashing it in his pockets. And once he was going through airport security and he had to empty his pockets, and there was some very old and cold food, not in wrappers. My memory of this is he put, like, fried chicken on the belt.

[Rory Lane]

Okay.

[Josh Dean]

This was college, by the way.

[Rory Lane]

All right, cool. Very cool place to put it.

[Josh Dean]

I mentioned this as a way of saying maybe a drunk guy hit it, expecting to come back. Like a squirrel. Like he stashes his snacks around the neighborhood.

[Rory Lane]

These are squirrely type. This is squirrely type behavior. Yeah.

[Josh Dean]

A single sausage Roll.

[Rory Lane]

Literally and figuratively, but.

[Josh Dean]

Except it kept happening. At least once a month, sausages would turn up in the mailbox. According to Jacob, it happened again and again to the point where I messaged my friends thinking they were playing a joke on me. And then all of them had photos of sausages in their letterboxes. That's when we realized we had a cereal sausageer on the island.

[Rory Lane]

Oh, my God.

[Josh Dean]

So it spread.

[Rory Lane]

Like, how many were you think we're talking about here?

[Josh Dean]

He just says all of his friends, but it was reported as a serial sausage, so, I mean, you know, single digits, right? Waiheki island is just a 30 mile boat ride from Auckland, the capital. We happen to have a kiwi on the team, but unfortunately Ewan, our engineer, is not here. He's on vacation today. So we can't get any insight on whether he was aware of this, whether someone in his family was implicated.

[Lane Rose]

Today's his birthday, so.

[Josh Dean]

Oh, today's his birthday.

[Lane Rose]

I think it's either today or tomorrow.

[Josh Dean]

But maybe we should accuse his mom of being behind us as a present

[Lane Rose]

to celebrate

[Josh Dean]

in celebration. So, Iwan, did your mom do this? So the population of waikiki is around 9,300. That's a lot of suspects. Yeah, Jacob said it's tearing Waikiki apart because we just don't know who it is. I've been accused. My brother's been accused. It's a witch hunt.

[Rory Lane]

I love that they're being accused, I guess because the people are like, ah, you're the one who found it.

[Josh Dean]

Smeller's the feller.

[Rory Lane]

You made it a story in an interview.

[Josh Dean]

He had a message for the sausager. I know you're out there. Just know one thing. You will be unmasked.

[Rory Lane]

Every country, every county has its own Banksy. And you know those Banksies are going to be varying degrees of talent.

[Josh Dean]

Well, Lane has a photo if you want to see what it looked like. You can do. You can judge the art. Lane, can you share that photo? Oh, yeah. There you go.

[Rory Lane]

Oh, that's awful.

[Josh Dean]

Does that look delicious to you?

[Rory Lane]

It actually really helped me go the other direction with my appetite.

[Josh Dean]

It looks like what? Just like a hot dog on a piece of Wonder Bread?

[Rory Lane]

Not even like a shitty hot dog. Like, hot dogs are already wildly questionable. This one goes to a whole new level.

[Josh Dean]

It does not look delicious. I will confirm what you're stating. That thing does not look amazing.

[Rory Lane]

That is creepy. I don't know why I thought of, like, a delicious looking sub sandwich.

[Josh Dean]

I know why. Because you're hungry.

[Rory Lane]

That's exactly why I pictured the most beautiful sausage sub. Oh, you're like, oh, tomato sauce that only grandmothers know how to make.

[Josh Dean]

So this sausaging went on for more than a year, until just before Christmas 2023, when Jacob said in an interview that the sausages were no longer arriving randomly in his letterbox. He also got an answer. At last, acquaintances admitted that the culprit had not been an individual acting alone. It was the work of a sausage syndicate.

[Rory Lane]

Oh.

[Josh Dean]

And the sausage syndicate did not face any legal charges. It was deemed to be a prank. But if this prank had happened here, jail time.

[Rory Lane]

Oh, but not on the island.

[Josh Dean]

Not in Waiheke.

[Rory Lane]

Yeah.

[Josh Dean]

With Jacob's friends. Wasting a hot dog is a class X felony in Trump's America.

[Rory Lane]

Yeah.

[Josh Dean]

As American as bald eagles.

[Rory Lane]

And I've always felt that way about the hot dog. It represents freedom.

[Josh Dean]

It does.

[Rory Lane]

Yeah.

[Josh Dean]

I hope this doesn't inspire any copycats. Although it would be funny if we mailed you a sausage, though, right? With a tiny little. When you bit into it. Inside the hot dog was a little folded up note that said Domino's jello.

[Rory Lane]

Yeah.

[Josh Dean]

Obama. Oh. After the break, it's game time.

[Rory Lane]

Lane's game.

[Joe Jonas]

Hey, it's us, the Jonas Brothers. And guess what? We have some big news.

[Rory Lane]

What's the news?

[Rory Scovel]

Huge news.

[Joe Jonas]

We created our own podcast called hey Jonas.

[Rory Scovel]

We invented a podcast.

[Joe Jonas]

Well, we didn't invent it. We. We just contributed to first people to do podcasts.

[Theo Henderson]

Pretty.

[Joe Jonas]

Yeah, Pretty wide range of starting a trend, but this one's extra special. So how do we. How do we actually come up with the name hey Jonas? Guys, I honestly don't remember.

[Josh Dean]

I think it was on a call

[Joe Jonas]

about what we should call it and, well, we were thinking. I'm originally calling it one of the early names of our band before Jonas Brothers. This is how you guys remember it going down? Yes. I have a very different memory of this. We were talking about a thing a

[Josh Dean]

bit for the podcast where people could

[Joe Jonas]

call in and say, hey, Jonas. And then I wrote down on my little notepad, hey, Jonas. And offered it up as a potential title for the podcast. But thanks for remembering that. Guys, listen to hey Jonas on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Just listen. We don't care where you hear it.

[Josh Dean]

You can have opinions, you can have, like, a strong stance, and then there's your body having its own program.

[Dr. Maya Shankar]

I'm Dr. Maya Shankar, a cognitive scientist and host of the podcast. A slight change of plans. A show about who we are and who we become. When life makes other plans, we share stories and scientific insights to help us all better navigate these periods of turbulence and transformation.

[Akilah Hughes]

There is one finding that is consistent, and that is that our resilience rests on our relationships.

[Rory Scovel]

I wish that I hadn't resisted for so long.

[Lane Rose]

The need to change.

[Rory Scovel]

We have to be willing to live with a kind of uncertainty that none of us likes.

[Dr. Maya Shankar]

Listen to a slight change of plans on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Akilah Hughes]

Here's something that should not be as complicated as it is getting a racist statue removed. And here's something that should be a whole lot easier than it getting a new one put up in its place.

[Josh Dean]

As long as there's a politics of

[Rory Scovel]

race in America, there's going to be

[Josh Dean]

a politics of remembering the Civil War.

[Rory Lane]

To get to school, I had to go down Robert E. Lee Boulevard. Get to the grocery store, I had to go down Jefferson Davis Parkway.

[Rory Scovel]

If you're a historian and you leave

[Josh Dean]

out half of what the history is, you're not doing your job.

[Akilah Hughes]

I'm Akilah Hughes and Rebel Spirit Season 2 goes deep on both of the those things. The fights, the politics, the people who won, and my personal campaign to add something to the Kentucky State House that's actually worth the wall space. We are more than our bodies. We contain essence, we contain spirit. How do you represent that?

[Lane Rose]

They are just fueling a fire that is really catching.

[Akilah Hughes]

You'll see what I mean. Listen to Rebel Spirit Season 2 on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Theo Henderson]

Mainstream media is full of cruel depictions of the unhoused, stories that shame and blame and paint the unhoused as a monolith. We the Unhoused is the podcast that's changing that. I'm Theo Henderson, creator and host and for years I've created a space where the unhoused and their advocates can tell their own stories. In the last few months alone, I've interviewed unhoused parents, immigrants, mutual aid organizers, veterans, the LGBQTIA community, and the policymakers who make the laws that impact the unhoused existence. Whedon House is a two time Webby and Signal award winning show with many exciting guests on the horizon. Tune in this week for my interview with Dr. Gio Wichoric, a street doctor turned influencer whose work with the unhoused community has made a huge impact online and in her community. Listen to we the Unhoused on the IHEARTRADIO app, Apple podcast, or wherever you get your podcast.

[Josh Dean]

Hello, and welcome back to Crimeless, where we always welcome a sausage in the letterbox, especially when we have a colonoscopy be planned and can't eat all day.

[Lane Rose]

Sounds like a euphemism,

[Josh Dean]

now that I think about it. That does sound like some Australian slang. Some sausage in the letter box. Yeah, sausage in the letter box.

[Rory Lane]

It's a terrible Australian letter box.

[Josh Dean]

I failed miserably to do.

[Rory Lane]

I can't.

[Josh Dean]

When we talk about England, it's very hard for me to shift Aussie. Can you do Aussie off the cuff?

[Rory Lane]

Yeah, mate, I could do a decent one. Can go there and do all right with it. Nothing great. Nothing. Nothing to write home about to put in a letter box where the sausages are kept. That's not bad.

[Josh Dean]

Give me a sausage in the letterbox, then.

[Rory Lane]

The old sausage in the letterbox.

[Josh Dean]

That was pretty good.

[Rory Lane]

All right.

[Josh Dean]

Oh, what time is it?

[Rory Lane]

Rory Lane's games time.

[Lane Rose]

Can I get that in Australian accent?

[Rory Lane]

Yeah, Lanes. Games time.

[Lane Rose]

Ah, beautiful, beautiful. So today, you know, the episode was themed around mysteries. So I've got a game around mystery themes. It's named that song. Mystery Edition.

[Rory Lane]

Nice.

[Lane Rose]

So I'm gonna play you a snippet from a theme song from a TV mystery or detective show, and I need you to tell me where it's from. Kind of a guess the theme game.

[Josh Dean]

So you're gonna play the theme?

[Lane Rose]

Yeah, you have to guess the show.

[Rory Lane]

Okay. I think I'm gonna be bad at this.

[Josh Dean]

You say that every time, Rory, and

[Rory Lane]

then I am then bad at it.

[Lane Rose]

What do you say? It's not gonna be true. All right, do you want to pick which one? A through B? Let's just start with that.

[Josh Dean]

A through B, A or B? A long list of them.

[Rory Lane]

A through B. Whoa. I know it. Twilight Zone.

[Lane Rose]

Yeah, it's Twilight Zone.

[Rory Lane]

Okay, I love it.

[Lane Rose]

Keep moving.

[Rory Lane]

Oh, Unsolved Mysteries. Oh, XX Files. It's X Files.

[Lane Rose]

It's X Files.

[Josh Dean]

But Unsolved Mysteries is close to that, though.

[Rory Lane]

Yeah, it's a. It's a neighboring theme. Scooby Doo.

[Josh Dean]

Wow, he got it before the music even kicked in.

[Rory Lane]

Oh, it's kind of fun.

[Josh Dean]

Hawaii Five.

[Rory Lane]

Oh, don't tell me

[Lane Rose]

it's not one I watched growing up. Tell you that much.

[Rory Lane]

From far too Charlie's Angels. No, I have no idea.

[Lane Rose]

It's Columbo.

[Rory Lane]

Columbo.

[Josh Dean]

Columbo.

[Rory Lane]

I had been watching Columbo. Maybe I only watched the pilot. Spectre gadget.

[Lane Rose]

Yeah.

[Carlos King]

Whoa.

[Josh Dean]

That is two that you just nailed off.

[Rory Lane]

Pow.

[Lane Rose]

Dang.

[Rory Lane]

Okay, maybe I am great at this thing. That will never make me money knowing themes.

[Josh Dean]

Oh, Twin Peaks.

[Rory Lane]

Twin Peaks. Josh. I'm just gonna call it

[Josh Dean]

dominated.

[Lane Rose]

Sorry, that one was violent.

[Rory Lane]

The old family guy.

[Josh Dean]

I only got. I only beat you to one. I was about to say Twin Peaks. I would have had. But you won.

[Rory Lane]

You beat me.

[Josh Dean]

Almost.

[Lane Rose]

Yeah, Rory won.

[Rory Lane]

Oh, man, that felt good. I thought I was gonna be really bad at it.

[Josh Dean]

Crimlyss is a production of Smartless Media, Campside Media and Big money players in partnership with Iheart Podcasts. It's hosted by Rory Scovel and me, Josh Dean. Our senior producer is Lane Rose. Emma Siminoff is our associate producer. This episode was edited, sound, designed and engineered by Marina Paiz. Our studio engineer is Ewan Lai Tramuin. Mark McAdam composed our theme song. The executive producers at Campside Media are Vanessa Gregoriadis, Matt Sher and me, Josh Dean. The executive producers for Iheart podcast and big money players are Jack o', Brien, Lindsey Hoffman and Matt Apodaca. For smartloads Media, the executive producers are Will Arnett, Jason Bateman, Sean Hayes and Richard Corson. Bernie Kaminski is head of production. The associate producer is Matty McCann. A special thanks to our operations team, Ashley Warren and Sabina Mara. Do you have a question, comment or confession for the Crimless team? Email [e-mail] and if you enjoyed Crimeless, please rate and review the show wherever you get your podcast. It helps people find the show and also makes us feel validated. Unless you're mean, in which case, keep it to yourself. We'll see you next week. Crimeless Nation

[Nick Jonas]

number one hits, millions of records sold, awards, sold out tours. You think the Jonas Brothers are satisfied?

[Akilah Hughes]

Nope.

[Nick Jonas]

It's podcast time.

[Rory Scovel]

We get to ask other people questions because we're sick and tired of being asked questions.

[Nick Jonas]

A Jonas is available now and their first guest is a big one, Paul Ruddy.

[Joe Jonas]

You know, Steve Carell is a great singer. Didn't he tell you not to audition the Office or something?

[Josh Dean]

I told him, whoa.

[Joe Jonas]

We were filming Anchorman. Clearly I was the idiot.

[Josh Dean]

Thank God he didn't listen to me, right?

[Nick Jonas]

Listen to hey Jonas on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Carlos King]

If you're watching the latest season of the Real Housewives of Atlanta, you already know there's a lot to break down.

[Theo Henderson]

Portia accusing Kelly of sleeping with a married man. They holding K. Michelle back from fighting. Drew Pinky has financial issues.

[Carlos King]

On the podcast Reality with the King I, Carlos King, recap the biggest moments from your favorite reality shows, including the Real Housewives franchise, the drama, the alliances, and the tea everybody's talking about. To hear this and more, listen to Reality with the king on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.

[Akilah Hughes]

This is Saigon, the story of my family and of the country that shaped us.

[Rory Scovel]

From iheart Podcasts. Saigon. You don't think I'm serious about a free Vietnam? One city, a divided country and the war that tore America apart? This is for Vietnam.

[Josh Dean]

They're pouring petrol all over here. Freedom for Vietnam. There's a fire coming to this country and it's going to burn out everything.

[Rory Scovel]

Listen to Saigon on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Akilah Hughes]

If you live in LA, you already spend about 89% of your life in

[Rory Scovel]

a car, so we turned it into a podcast. On do youo Need a Ride? We pick up our comedian friends, drive around Los Angeles, and discuss what's happening in the world around us.

[Josh Dean]

Cars are very rude to bicyclists, but in this case it's a bicyclist going out of his way to get in the way of traffic. All you did was roll your window down. Oh, he almost hit that.

[Akilah Hughes]

It's like a talk show, but going 30 miles an hour.

[Rory Scovel]

New episodes every Monday on the exactly right network.

[Akilah Hughes]

Listen to do you need a ride? On the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Josh Dean]

This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.