Why is everyone robbing Guy Fieri?

Summary

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CrimeLess – "Why is everyone robbing Guy Fieri?"

Date: April 22, 2026
Hosts: Josh Dean (B), Rory Scoville (C)
Producer & Commentator: Lane Rose (E)

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Episode Overview

This episode of CrimeLess delves into the bizarre and surprisingly frequent criminal targeting of celebrity chef and TV personality Guy Fieri. Hosts Josh Dean and Rory Scoville mix humor and true crime as they discuss two real-life heists—one involving Fieri's high-end tequila and another surrounding his stolen Lamborghini. The episode also explores the larger issues of cargo theft and failed celebrity ventures, all delivered with the podcast’s trademark irreverence and witty banter.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Why Rob Guy Fieri? (02:26–03:52)

• The show's premise this week is centered on the comedic question: "Why is everyone robbing Guy Fieri?"
• Rory and Josh jokingly debate who they'd rob if they could, ultimately landing on Fieri as "the correct answer."
  • Rory: “Elon Musk. Just because I feel like he has the most money and it would be great payback since he’s robbing us.” (02:32)
  • Josh: “The correct answer was Guy Fieri.” (02:54)

2. The Santo Spirits Tequila Heist (06:10–14:44)

• Heist Recap:

  • In November, two trucks loaded with over 24,000 bottles of high-end tequila (worth over $1 million) from Santos Spirits—a company founded by Fieri and Sammy Hagar—disappear en route from Texas to Pennsylvania.
  • Method: Thieves rerouted the trucks using fake instructions and spoofed GPS signals to appear on course, but actually delivered the goods to warehouses in Los Angeles.

• Notable quotes:

  • Guy Fieri to People Magazine:
    “I mean, one is one, but now you’ve got to have double the amount of people to pull off the double heist. It just seems so much riskier to take two trucks.” (08:43)
  • Josh on the ruse:
    “It’s like if you were watching at home the screen, you’re like, ‘oh, that’s going to Pennsylvania,’ but in fact it’s going to L.A.” (12:28)
  • Sammy Hagar update: Half the shipment was recovered after being found in a “known criminal cargo area” in L.A., using the classic “fell off the truck” method. (13:19)

• Industry Insight: Cargo theft (especially liquor) is not rare and is actually increasing, with 2023 and 2024 seeing record-scale liquor heists, sometimes involving cyber crime and hijacked GPS systems.

• Rory on black-market tequila:
  “I have like five of the bottles. It’s my most prized possession.” (13:08, joking)

3. Other Notorious Booze Heists

• Pappygate: In 2013, $100k of Pappy Van Winkle Bourbon was stolen from a Kentucky distillery, later chronicled on Netflix's "Heist." (16:24)
• Discussion: Both hosts poke fun at the “ridiculous” names and lore of expensive liquors.

4. The Fieri Lamborghini Caper (21:05–28:41)

• Heist Recap:

  • In 2011, Fieri’s canary yellow Lamborghini Gallardo convertible was stolen from a San Francisco dealership through a dramatic Mission-Impossible-style roof rappel break-in.
  • The thief: Max Wade, a 17-year-old who then joyrode around the Bay Area, threw parties in empty mansions, and was plotting even bolder crimes.
  • After 18 months, police recovered the car along with weapons, fake IDs, and evidence that Wade intended to ship it to the Dominican Republic.

• Memorable moments:

  • Rory: “Gone in 60 seconds, bro.” (23:08)
  • Josh quoting Fieri: “Come to find out, he was driving it. Brave kid.” (26:04)
  • Max Wade’s own words: “I had an addiction to criminality.” (26:32)
  • Hosts’ take: Rory finds Wade “kind of a fun guy—except for the double murder.” (26:32–26:43)

5. The Psychology and Pattern of Celebrity Crime (29:12–29:16)

• The wild methods and characters drawn to celebrity targets (extra-drama, movie-style plots) appear to “fit” Fieri’s public persona.
• The hosts consider the cinematic and ironic nature: if anyone’s car gets stolen in this flamboyant way, it would be Guy Fieri.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Josh (on the recurring heists):
  “It’s maybe the most important unsolved crime in history perpetrated against a man with a two-tone goatee.” (03:06)

• Guy Fieri (on being robbed, via People):
  “I never in a million years thought this was coming down the pike like this, but it’s real.” (10:32, paraphrased by Josh)

• Rory (on yeast infections from beauty products):
  “She was filed everywhere by bees because she sprayed it on herself.” (34:58)

• Max Wade (the teen car thief):
  “Man, I love my life. Boosting a Lambo and picking up cute girls when you’re 17.” (27:26)

• Rory (on Guy Fieri’s status):
  “He’s the mayor of Flavortown, and he’s a matador.” (29:25)

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[Timestamps] Key Segments

• 02:26 – Who Would You Rob? The Flavortown Debate
• 06:10 – The Multi-Truck Santo Spirits Tequila Heist
• 08:43 – Guy Fieri’s Reaction & Pop Culture Context
• 12:04 – The Tech Behind the Heist (GPS Spoofing)
• 13:19 – Recovery of Half the Loot & The “Known Criminal Cargo Area”
• 16:24 – Pappygate and Other Liquor Heists
• 21:05 – Introducing the Lamborghini Case
• 22:39 – The Heist: Rappelling, Joyrides, and Max Wade
• 26:32 – “Addiction to Criminality”: The Legend of Max Wade
• 29:12 – Fieri’s Heists as Movie Plots

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Segment: Failed Celebrity Ventures Game (32:47–40:23)

• Lane hosts a quiz on failed celebrity businesses—bringing comic relief and linking back to Fieri’s own entrepreneurial risks.
• Notable failures:
  • Jessica Simpson: Edible body products (with disastrous results)
  • Neil Young: The “Pono Player” (failed iPod competitor, shaped like a Toblerone)
  • Steven Spielberg: “Dive” themed restaurant (nautical, in landlocked L.A.)
  • Hulk Hogan: “Pasta Mania” restaurant
  • The Kardashians: “Kardashian Card” prepaid debit card (high fees; quickly pulled)
  • Kim Basinger: Actually bought an entire town in Georgia, went bankrupt
• Rory wins the game with an inspired guess.

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Tone & Style Highlights

• The show alternates between irreverent banter, pop-culture references, and genuine fascination with criminal ingenuity.
• The tone stays playful, even when discussing the technicalities of crimes.

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Summary Takeaway

“Why is everyone robbing Guy Fieri?” blends comedic speculation with engrossing true crime detail, illuminating how both bumbling and sophisticated heists often target celebrities in outlandish ways. Listeners come away entertained, slightly more educated about cargo theft, and with ample anecdote fuel for their next Flavortown-themed party.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• “Elon Musk...he’s robbing us. The show just went political, folks.” — Rory (02:32)
• “The correct answer was Guy Fieri.” — Josh (02:54)
• “I mean, one is one, but now you’ve got to have double the amount of people to pull off the double heist.” — Guy Fieri via Josh (08:43)
• “It’s like if you were watching at home the screen… that’s going to Pennsylvania, but in fact it’s going to L.A.” — Josh (12:28)
• “Gone in 60 seconds, bro.” — Rory (23:08)
• “Boosting a Lambo and picking up cute girls when you’re 17.” — Max Wade (27:26)
• “He’s the mayor of Flavortown, and he’s a matador.” — Rory (29:25)
• “She tried to start a city.” — Rory (on Kim Basinger, 39:23)

---

For more jaw-dropping heists, criminal misadventures, and offbeat celebrity foibles, subscribe for future episodes—live from Flavortown (soon, they hope).

Transcript

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Everyone's like, why'd you guys give us that? Just eat it, chew it and then shoot it.

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Campsite media. Bless me,

[C]

Rory.

[B]

Yes, if you could rob any celebrity, who would it be?

[C]

Elon Musk. Just because I feel like he has the most money and it would be great payback since he's robbing us. The show just went political, folks.

[B]

Oh, there goes our rating. We're getting so many one star reviews now. And also Barack Obama.

[C]

Oh, play both sides. Play both sides smart.

[B]

I'm sorry, the correct answer was Guy Fieri.

[C]

Oh, why Is that he just gives you. He just gives you his wallet.

[B]

Fortunately for you and for all the residents of Flavortown, I'm going to answer that this episode.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Because this week on Crimeless, we tackle maybe the most important unsolved crime in history perpetrated against a man with a two tone goatee. A crime so ballsy that it also ripped off the second most famous lead singer of Van Halen, who looks a lot like Guy Fieri.

[C]

That's true.

[B]

Who is that man?

[C]

That is Sammy Hagar.

[B]

Is that what he sounds like?

[C]

I do not know.

[B]

That's right. Coming up, we seek justice on behalf of two legends of food and rock. A pair of guys who know their way around a bottle of sun in and who have never once paid for a drink in Branson, Missouri or Cabo. This week on Crabless. Stay tuned.

[C]

I can't imagine not having to pay for a drink in Branson, Missouri. You go a whole weekend, it saves you 15 bucks.

[B]

Hello and welcome back to Crimeless, the podcast that celebrates the amazing creativity of the world's dumbest criminals and also seeks justice on behalf of Guy Fieri. I'm Josh Dean.

[C]

And I am Rory Scoville.

[B]

So before we get started here, Rory, tell me what you know about Guy Fieri.

[C]

I know that if. Can I do a shout out? Can I tell everyone when this episode ends? Go check out Shane Torres, a comedian who has a great bit about Guy Fieri. All I know is when I watch that Guy and his TV show, it. It does s. You can't. If you're hungry and you watch that show, you're done. You're screwed. Because everything he shows you, you want to eat it immediately. And I know that he has great shirts and hair. Yeah, I love his hair also.

[B]

Is it Fieri? I feel like some people say Fieri,

[C]

some people say Fieri. And I want to be like, what are you doing? Just say Fieri like the rest of us.

[B]

So let's make a decision here. We're going to go with Fieri, right?

[C]

Fieri. Unless you want to say Fieri. Fieri. Oh, feels I'll go down that road with you, Josh.

[B]

I'm leaving it up to you. You define our house style. Are we a Fieri house or are we a Fieri?

[C]

I say we go Fieri. Let's try to do it. Jesus. I was afraid we're going to say that. Oh, God. Let's challenge ourselves.

[B]

Okay. You can correct me if I forget to do one. Yep. So how many times do you think this American treasure has been the subject of absolutely ridiculous and brazen heists.

[C]

Just that question alone is beautiful. I'm going to go. I don't even know. Do you say how many times? 10. I don't know. It's 10. Like a crazy two that I know

[B]

of, But I feel like that's a lot. I mean, that's funny, right?

[C]

That too. But I thought the fact that you asked it, I was like, maybe this whole guy's life is.

[B]

I mean, we can hope. I mean, this might inspire a wave of copycats when people hear this beautiful episode.

[C]

So you said twice. This has happened twice.

[B]

Okay, here we go. For now, I'm going to focus for starters on the most recent of these. When a gang of still unnamed perpetrators stole 24,240 bottles of high end tequila from a company founded and owned by two men who look suspiciously like Guy Fieri and Sammy Hagar.

[C]

Hagar, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Hagar.

[C]

Yeah. Sammy Hagar.

[B]

Okay, so we're using the proper pronunciation of both of both.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Okay. Who was, of course, the lead singer of Van Halen from 85 to 96 and 2003 to 2005. Also the solo artist known for your personal aerobics jam. I can't drive 55. His nickname is the Red Rocker.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah, it is.

[B]

So let me set the scene for you. Last November, two trucks carrying more than 24,000 bottles of tequila crossed the border from Mexico into Laredo, Texas. And these aren't just any old bottles of tequila. They're made by Santos Spirits, a company founded by Fieri and Hagar. That's ridiculous. I'd love to give you the oral history of the company's founding, but that's for a different show. I just want to note that it's one of the four different spirits companies Hagar Hagar has founded. He has four different liquor brands. So what a guy, what a life.

[C]

He's smart. He knows what he's doing.

[B]

So what's important to us is that these trucks arrived as planned at a warehouse in Laredo and then departed as planned for their ultimate destination, a warehouse in Pennsylvania. Real honest. Drivers picked the trucks up and started driving east and north. It's about 25 hours of highway driving, but the trucks never made it. Where did they go? Los Angeles. Oh, and why? Because someone changed the driver's instructions sometime after leaving Texas. According to Laredo pd, the drivers received new orders to take the loads to LA and drop them instead at different, still apparently legit seeming warehouses. Quote, that was the last time anybody knew or saw where the tequila was. Cops told the New York Times, I don't think this is the case of a misplaced load of tequila. I'm pretty sure it's probably gone. I feel like he could have said either pretty sure or probably didn't need both of them there.

[C]

Yeah, we didn't need both. Potential outcomes.

[B]

The total value of the haul was, according to Santo Spirits, more than a million dollars and included more than 300 bottles of the highest end tequila in the Fieri Hagar line. Extra Anejo single barrel, which is aged for three years and sells for 120 bucks.

[C]

Oh, that's heartbreaking.

[B]

When People magazine reached Fieri, he seemed to be in shock at the scope of it. Here's what he said. I mean, one is one, but now you've got to have double the amount of people to pull off the double heist. He said, it just seems so much riskier to take two trucks.

[C]

That's his. That's his analysis. Yep.

[B]

Wow.

[C]

All right. I mean, I would be. I would be so devastated. I'd be so devastated just at the quality of the product, let alone the fortune you could make from it, knowing that the value of it was over a million dollars. I know that those two guys, I'm sure, are doing fine, but yet still, that's a considerable amount of money, whether you're doing fine or not. Slash, I bet you they really care about the quality of that product. And they were probably like, this is some special stuff. Aged for three years. That's a commitment.

[B]

I mean, this is. You're getting real here.

[C]

Sammy Hagar wasn't even in Van Halen the second time for three years.

[B]

You're right. The tequila aged longer than his second stunt in Van Halen. Yeah, well, so Fieri told people they were offering a $10,000 reward, which, to be honest, doesn't seem high enough. But that's just for the limited edition stuff, which is obviously very hard to replace.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And he also compared the crime to the legendary 1978 Lufthansa heist where thieves stole $5 million in cash and just under a million in jewelry from a JFK cargo terminal, and which features prominently in Goodfellas, which also seems like a bit of an exaggeration.

[C]

Yeah, I also thought it reeked of that a little bit. I was like, this just feels like some Lufthansa going on here when you were reading it.

[B]

You and Fieri.

[C]

Yeah, me and Fieri. We have a similar Rolodex in our minds of other related crimes of Other

[B]

high concept, well executed heists. He also said to People magazine, it's like a movie. I never in a million years thought this was coming down the pike like this, but it's real. Yeah, he's a quote machine, that guy.

[C]

Yeah. Coming down the pike, that's. I don't know if I'd apply that there, but sure, go ahead. Yeah, I mean, it's probably not so shocking if someone knows it Sounds like a little bit of an inside job. Someone had to know the value.

[B]

Presumably. Yes. And then how do you begin to pull it off then? Do you have, do you have any, like, if, if you were the mastermind of this, do you know how you, how you do it?

[C]

If the truck drivers were, we're all just, you know, straight shooters. They were like, hey, we're, we're the good guys. Then I guess you gotta have a little bit of a, a truck jacking.

[B]

Okay. I'm gonna tell you, I mean, you're so, you're in the ballpark.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

You're so good at this. We're turning you into such a smart criminal.

[C]

I can't wait to actually start applying it. I'm gon be so rich. Slash spend so much time in jail, slash learn how to escape from jail.

[B]

I mean, how great would it if at the end of season one you turned into like a master criminal and you were like living on an island in the south.

[C]

That's how the season should end. You and I should have to pull off a crime.

[B]

We now have something to aim for.

[C]

And then in season two, we're like, guess how we got caught, folks? This podcast where we accidentally confessed the whole thing. Our one mistake was reporting it ourselves.

[B]

So according to Santos trucking partner Johansen Transportation Services, the loads were quote, double brokered. Here's how Johansson explained it in a report that People magazine obtained. We believe the GPS tracking signal we were monitoring was spoofed by a GPS emulator application used by the criminals, which I think means the crooks were able to intercept the actual GPS signal being monitored by the shippers and make it look like the loads were still on track. So it's like if you were watching at home the screen, you're like, oh, that's, that's going to Pennsylvania, but in fact it's going to la.

[C]

I mean, that element right there. Fieri is right. That is some movie type.

[B]

It really is. By the time someone realized that, that it was off, it was too late. Cuz once these loads were in enemy hands, there wasn't much hope of Them being found, Santo assumed the load would be broken up and sold quietly in small batches on the black market. Some of it would very likely end up in mom and pop liquor stores and in bars, maybe even in your belly. Oh, or mine. Yeah.

[C]

Why, Why'd you accuse me suddenly?

[B]

I mean, you knew a lot about tequila.

[C]

All right, man, all right.

[B]

There's no shame.

[C]

I have like five of the bottles. It's my most prized possession.

[B]

You like, like these super ans.

[C]

Oh, I'm sorry. Do you mean this one, Josh, that I'm guzzling?

[B]

So once the shipment is off the trucks and broken up into smaller loads, it's almost impossible to find. But in December, Sammy Hagar had some good news to share on Fox News Digital. Pardon Sammy Hagar. When they caught him outside of benefit, one truck in roughly half the booze had been located. It was traced to a, quote, known criminal cargo area of Los Angeles and then unloaded on the street, which I believe is the old fell off the truck scheme. Like they open up the back and some guys just show up and start rolling it off. I feel like I've seen that scene in a movie a bunch of times.

[C]

I love the idea of a known criminal cargo area. You can't sh that down. You can't make it like, you can't go, hey, guys, we now know you do this over here, so stop doing it like it has to exist forever.

[B]

If only there was something we could do about the known criminal cargo area.

[C]

Where's it coming in? Probably in the known location where it's always coming in.

[B]

To go back to what you were saying before. To get real, the heist did set the company back, especially considering it happened right before the holidays. Santo estimated it was at least 40 days of supply. And of course, the Anejo takes three years to reproduce. Yeah, in January, it was fieri updating Fox News Digital saying someone still has

[C]

10,000 bottles of it. And we're of course, pretty disheartened by the situation. That's all we know, man. There was all kinds of tomfoolery in there.

[B]

Everything he says is amazing. And do you think this thing happens often? Like these kind of heists of loads of liquor?

[C]

I mean, you wouldn't ask if they didn't.

[B]

I'm so predictable. Liquor theft is indeed rampant. And it's a little rare at this scale, but it's a growing problem. In December 2023, a North Carolina based company called Daytun Distributors was about to launch a new tequila Hacienda Chaktun. And had compiled 19,000 bottles of reposado in a local warehouse to be shipped out to stores. Then some, quote, cyber criminals broke into the logistics system and. Stop me if you've heard this before, hijacked the gps, redirected the trucks to the wrong location, and the tequila was stolen.

[C]

Okay, get an apple. One of those apple tags.

[B]

That's all they needed.

[C]

I'm not gonna lie. You put an apple tag in these trucks. Hide it. Hide that apple tag. You're good to go.

[B]

Look at the solvent crimes from Denver.

[C]

Like I said, I play both. Both sides of the fence.

[B]

2023, the year that happened, was the all time worst for cargo thefts of this kind, according to a company called cargo net. But the number of deaths jumped again in 2024. They told the New York Times that most alcohol stolen in 23 was hard seltzer, of course, which feels like something Guy Fieri would also be in. How does he not have a hard seltzer?

[C]

That's a great assumption.

[B]

Called lad. And what would it be called?

[C]

Fieri Fizz. Fieri Fizz.

[B]

Except he would be yelling it Fieri Fizz.

[C]

Fieri fizz.

[B]

So in 24, the thefts shifted more into high end liquor. Maybe the most famous liquor heist pre Fieri happened in October 2013, when someone stole $100,000 worth of very top end Pappy Van Winkle bourbon from a locked vault at a distillery in Kentucky. The theft became known as Pappygate. And you may have seen the story on an episode of the Netflix series Heist. Spoiler alert. Inside job.

[C]

Yep. I like that they gave it a name like Pappy Gates so that no one could take it seriously for the rest of history.

[B]

I've always felt like Pappy Van Winkle is a ridiculous name.

[C]

It is. I've thought it too. And yet everyone like it's. I mean, I don't think I've ever tried it. I'm sure it's absolutely amazing, but that name just makes you assume you're getting pranked and when you go to drink it, it's just a bunch of confetti.

[B]

Lane's reporting that Guy Fieri has a spiked punch. Yeah, of course.

[C]

And that's going to be Fieri Fizz.

[B]

What's it called, Lane?

[E]

Flavortown Spiked fruit punch.

[C]

Yep, Flavor Town Spiked fruit punch. You know, it's if it's not broke, don't fix it.

[B]

All right, now I'm going to test how closely you're paying attention. You remember what I said at the top of the show about Guy Fieri, that this wasn't the only time he's been robbed like something out of a movie.

[C]

That was the most recent time.

[B]

I'm going to tell you about another one after the break.

[C]

Rewind. Here we go.

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[B]

This is Crimeless. Welcome back to Crimeless, the weekly show that fights tirelessly for justice. Flavortown. Rory, would you like to take a wild stab at what was stolen from Guy Fieri? Fieri in the other heist. This one happened in 2011.

[C]

Hot sauce. It just feels like really expensive hot sauce.

[B]

Close. It was a canary yellow Lamborghini Gallardo convertible.

[C]

Wait, how was I close?

[B]

It was either hot sauce.

[C]

Well, because the license plate said hot sauce.

[B]

Actually, it did not. It was a 20. It was a 2008 with vanity plates that read Gai Toro.

[C]

Oh, okay.

[B]

Which maybe is that a reference to, like, high end tuna?

[C]

I. That's a great guess. I don't know.

[B]

Any other theories out there? I don't really know what else it could refer to. On a future episode of Crimeless, we will unravel what Guy Toro refers to.

[C]

Not hard to picture. That Guy Fide is a big car guy. Not hard to picture at all.

[B]

His hair sort of matches canary yellow, too.

[C]

Seems like a hundred percent.

[B]

Like it might have an extra flame on the side or.

[C]

Yes, yes.

[B]

So anyway, his 2008 Lamborghini was in for service at an imported luxury car dealer in San Francisco when it was stolen in the most spectacular way imaginable. I won't ask you to guess what happened unless you want to.

[C]

All right? Someone just stole. I don't know. I have no idea.

[B]

Yeah, it's. I mean, this is too hard. If you were going on movie references, you might have been able to come up with this. But it's so ridiculous. Sometime between 3:40 and 5:15am on March 8, 2011, a mysterious figure wearing all black rappelled into the top floor of the dealership from the roof, climbed through a window and stole the car, cutting the lock and driving out the back doors, then across the Golden Gate Bridge, where it was last captured on cameras. Or not last captured, because it was then caught again on cameras in Tiburon, a short drive north of the bridge. But then it vanished.

[C]

Gone in 60 seconds, bro.

[B]

Oh, yes. More like 17 minutes.

[C]

Yeah, more Than likely more than that. I mean, they're. They're fast cars, but they're not time machines.

[B]

Quote, it's a very distinctive car for sure, said a San Francisco cop a few days after the robbery. I don't know how far this person is going to go. Turns out a long way. Or at least that's how it seemed. Here's Fieri explaining how he found out to reporters. I was in Chicago shooting diners, driving and dives. And actually, because the cameras were running when we were.

[C]

When I answered the phone, I thought, oh, I'm getting, you know, someone's messing with me. You know, this is. This is a bad joke, but this is. It wasn't a bad joke.

[B]

Isn't that what he said about the tequila, too? Both times he thought he was being pranked.

[C]

He thinks. I mean, he's had a traumatic childhood. His parents, they pranked him non stop

[B]

either. People are constantly calling him and being like, your house burned down. Yeah, yeah, your mom has passed away. Oh, that was a step too far, wasn't it? Step too far. I'm sorry. Guy Fieri.

[C]

Guy Fieri.

[B]

So the extremely bright yellow Lambo was missing for a year and a half and seemed lost, probably shipped overseas. Fieri moved on. He got a new car. And what kind of car do you buy after your Lambo gets stolen, do you think?

[C]

Upgrade, downgrade, you buy the exact, exact same car?

[B]

Nope. Oh, sometime. Sometime after the theft, Fieri posted a picture of his new ride on Twitter with this caption. Lane,

[E]

why am I reading this one?

[B]

Because you have blonde hair. You're the closest to Fieri.

[E]

He was born in Columbus, Ohio, and I am from Ohio.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

That's why Bitch.

[E]

And Camaro. Thanks to my brothers at Chevy, first yellow con off the line.

[B]

I think that's con for convertible. So he got a yellow convertible, which was the Lamborghini. However, Camaro. Bitch. A bitch. And Camaro. Thanks, Lane. Excellent. You sounded just like him.

[C]

You know, I gotta say, if I'm a celebrity and I've had my Lamborghini stolen, my next move is to publicly advertise my newer car that has replaced the other car that got stolen to let everybody know, hey, now, this one can be taken if you're around.

[B]

It's just like the lady who posted her vacation on Facebook.

[C]

Yes. Guys, I'm going to be gone. Doors unlocked, Come on in.

[B]

But here's the thing. Fieri's Lambo wasn't actually gone. It never left the bay area. For 18 months after the theft, Fieri would Sometimes get calls from friends who claimed to have seen the car, calls he would dismiss, pointing out that his wasn't the only canary yellow Lambo, an extremely wealthy and douchey tech laden Bay Area. Surely there are others. But in fact, the thief was driving the car quite often. Fieri was shocked, grudgingly impressed, even, quote, come to find out, he was driving it. Brave kid.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And that kid turned out to be a 17 year old named Max Wade, who was later arrested at the end of a brief and flamboyant crime spree that involved fake IDs, weed dealing, what prosecutors asserted was an attempted double murder of a girl he liked and her love interest.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[B]

He was also known to take over empty mansions and throw parties when the owners were away. And at the time of his arrest, was apparently planning to use a helicopter to land atop a large jewelry store in downtown San Francisco and rob the place. Quote, I had an addiction to criminality, he told the court.

[C]

I gotta say, outside of the double murder, kind of a fun. Guy. The double murder, really, Really a tarnish on the record.

[B]

It was an attempted double murder, to be fair.

[C]

Oh, well, still, hey, attempted, successful. Either way. You're like, oh, I thought you were kind of one of those fun criminals throwing parties at mansions. Get out of town.

[B]

I know a lot about this story. I covered it. And I think we should actually get into it in detail in a future episode. But this episode today is all about Guy. Oh, yeah. So we'll come back to the Max Wade story. At one point before his arrest, San Francisco cops got a tip that this kid had Guy's car and went to see him at his home in Marin county, but couldn't prove it. Which doesn't mean that he was subtle about it. He drove it on dates. He also bragged about it at one point texting this to a friend. Man, I love my life. Boosting a Lambo and picking up cute girls when you're 17.

[C]

I mean, a year and a half of that kind of behavior and nobody was like, hey, run those plates real quick.

[B]

Is that kid driving a yellow Lambo?

[C]

Yeah, you don't see a lot of 17 year olds with a Lambo. All right, it's probably fine. Probably checks out.

[B]

So cops ultimately found the Lambo in a storage locker rented by Wade, along with guns, fake IDs, and an answer to the mystery of what he planned to do with the car. A contract to sell and ship the car, the Dominican Republic for $201,500. The name Wade used for the Transaction, Carmine, Leon, Leone, Colombo, and I.

[C]

If you're going to go with a. A pseudonym for your life of crime, try to make it one that sounds like the head of a mafia that's also living a life of crime.

[B]

That's a. I mean, role model, maybe.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

So Wade was ultimately charged as an adult with many things, most seriously the attempted murder charges. He was convicted and sentenced to life in prison, which felt like kind of in prison. However, he's been a model prisoner, fighting to have that reduced ever since and appears to be headed for parole sometime in the future.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Rumor has it Guy Fieri even showed up at San Quentin this year trying to meet with Max, who isn't allowed to interact with his victims. I'm going to bet Guy's trying to get the movie rights.

[C]

I bet you. I think Guy is a pretty good person, and I bet you actually does want to probably helped the kid. I bet you Guy actually has a heart to be like. Yeah, I don't. I don't. I. I bet you if you asked him right now, he doesn't think he should be in there for.

[B]

For life. I mean, it's extremely wild and on brand, though, that, like. I mean, I'm sure lots of celebrities get their car stolen, but, like, this is a very. Like, if Guy Fieri's car's got to get stolen, a kid rappelling into a dealership, driving it around for a year.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Taking girls on dates feels very appropriate for Fieri.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Well, let's set up some pitch meetings for our movie Guy Toro, because he's also a bull fighter.

[C]

That's right. That's exactly right.

[B]

He's the mayor of Flavortown, and he's a matador.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

There's the elevator pitch for our movie Perfect Soldier. Hello.

[D]

Hello, this is Malcolm Glabel from Smart talks with IBM. Today we're diving into a fascinating conversation with Stefano Pallard, head of fan development for Scuderia Ferrari hp.

[F]

Your pronunciation is strongly American. It's more Scuderia Ferrari.

[D]

I'm still working on rolling my R's, but what I was able to learn from Stefano was the importance of engaging the Tifosi, the Ferrari superfans in the digital age.

[F]

Ferrari fans and super fans want to be part of something, want to belong to something. So they want to be part of a community, and ultimately, they want to be part of a winning team.

[D]

You've got Ferrari, which has a long history, design history, and now you're interacting in a kind of digital space. I'm curious how you balance those two traditions.

[F]

When it comes to fan engagement, it's really digital technology. And digital channels are being able to create a deeper connection with our fans.

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To learn more about how Ferrari and IBM are using technology to build deeper connections with fans, visit IBM.com Ferrari

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I'm

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Cyndi Lauper with fellow Cosentyx advocate chef Michelle Bernstein.

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Okay. Welcome back to Crimly. And now for our final segment. Lane, what are we doing today?

[C]

Game time.

[E]

That's right. Today I have a game I think I'm gonna call. Celebrities. They're just like us. But it is inspired by Guy Fieri. Fieri.

[B]

Fieri.

[E]

Fieri. We all know he's a good businessman. I think we could argue, but he knows that not every venture of his is gonna be a big hit for example, his 2012 Times Square restaurant, Guy's American Kitchen and Bar received maybe the worst review ever from the New York Times.

[C]

Oh, no.

[E]

I want to share some quotes with you. 1. Hey, did you try that blue drink? The one that glows like nuclear waste? Any idea why? It tastes like some combination of radiator fluid and formaldehyde. That was in the New York Times. But somehow, after zero stars, that zero star review, it stayed open for five more years.

[B]

Yeah, he had his revenge on that.

[E]

I think he did. So today we're going to explore the world of failed celebrity business ventures. I'm going to give you the name of a famous person, and you need to guess what. What type of business they failed at.

[B]

Okay, so just a type of business, not a specific name of business.

[C]

Bonus points if you can name the name it.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[E]

We're going to start with Jessica Simpson.

[B]

You want to go first, Roy, you.

[C]

I would love to know where what you have.

[B]

Let's go with cowboy hats, cowboy boots.

[C]

This is the prices, right? Me going $1.

[E]

Guys are both wrong. She had an edible beauty brand called Dessert Beauty. It was launched in 2004. The reviews were so bad, one customer got a yeast infection from the butterscotch toffee body wash. Another person said that the deliciously kissable belly button love potion, a fragrance. She was filed everywhere by bees because she sprayed it on herself.

[B]

Okay. Wow. We were. We were close. Okay.

[E]

You, you. Yeah. Ballpark number two. Neil Young. What do you think?

[C]

Neil Young had a line. I don't know why I'm actively trying to get this right when I. It's impossible. Neil Young had a line of steakhouses, salad dressing.

[E]

Those are good guesses.

[C]

Oh, I actually really like salad dressing.

[E]

Neil Young had a device called the Pono Player, and it was his attempt to bring the vinyl experience to the digital realm. He launched his version of the iPod in 2011. It was shaped like a Toblerone chocolate and cost $400. It did not make any money, and critics said the science behind it didn't make any sense.

[B]

I'm just gonna say that his business manager should have intervened.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, he's like, I have an idea. I'm gonna take on the ipod, but

[E]

it's gonna be a pyramid.

[B]

But here's the thing. It's shaped like a pyramid.

[C]

Yeah. But here's the thing. We're gonna try to take it on way after it's clearly established itself.

[B]

Oh, wow. Okay. That's an amazing. I love that a lot. So could be hard to top that one Lane.

[E]

I don't know. This one's pretty good. Steven Spielberg.

[B]

Oh, boy. A line of little sharks that you wind up and put in your bathtub.

[C]

Josh, that's a beautiful and adorable guess. There's no way it's right, but, man, I, I, I want it to be. I think he, he tried to get into the digital camera game.

[B]

Oh, that's a good guess.

[E]

Those are interesting guesses. And I'm afraid Josh was the closest. Not right.

[C]

I mean, I did hope for that.

[E]

He had a restaurant called Dive that was a nautical themed restaurant inspired by his love of deep sea exploration. It was a large yellow submarine in Century City in la, and it was around for about five years.

[B]

Perfect place to put the nautical themed restaurant in Century City.

[C]

Yeah.

[E]

Okay, I'm gonna keep rolling through it. We got a couple more Hulk Hogan

[B]

wrestling singlets.

[C]

Yeah, I was gonna say edible underwear.

[E]

No, he opened a pasta themed restaurant called Pasta Mania in the Mall of America in 1995.

[B]

I mean, they're all restaurant. I'm just gonna guess restaurant from now on.

[C]

I mean, that's why I went Steakhouse with Neil Young. I was wrong.

[B]

The one guy that hadn't done a

[C]

restaurant, although it was Toblerone esque.

[B]

Yeah,

[E]

yeah. He unveiled it with a giant bowl of spaghetti and a pasta eating contest, and it closed within a year.

[B]

Yeah, deep.

[E]

Okay, the Kardashians, they have had a lot of successful businesses and ventures, so hit me with the one that failed.

[C]

Well, the makeup has worked, but I don't know if the makeup is all of them or just one of them.

[E]

This is a joint venture. I'll give you.

[C]

I'm gonna say a restaurant.

[B]

I'm gonna say they took on the personal computer, the laptop shaped like a high heel.

[E]

No, in 2010, they released a prepaid debit card called the Kardashian card. Oh, yeah, it had their faces on the front of it. But it was abandoned after a month because it had astronomically high fees.

[B]

That's so scammy. Just at least Neil Young shot for the stars.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. Get out of here. At least he was doing a Toblerone that plays music.

[E]

Okay, last one. This is another Kim, but it's Kim Basinger.

[B]

Basinger. Yeah, Basinger.

[E]

Yeah, Basinger.

[B]

Lane's a little young for this one. Rory and I remember Kim Basinger.

[E]

Basinger. Kim Basinger.

[B]

It could be Basinger. Actually. I don't know that I've ever said it out loud.

[C]

She released a steakhouse. A perfume. A perfume that melted people's Skin.

[B]

I'm gonna go with a bathing suit line.

[E]

You guys are thinking way too small.

[C]

Okay. She tried to start a city.

[E]

She bought the small town of Braselton, Georgia, which is about 1700 acres in 1989 for $20 million. Her idea was to turn it into a tourist attraction and have some movie studios and a film festival. But she was facing some personal bankruptcy, and then she had to sell it a few years later for like, a fraction of what she paid for it.

[B]

I'm going to declare Rory the winner, because even though that wasn't his first guess, he did say it right before you.

[C]

I would love to buy a town just to get to be in charge. Everyone has to do what you say. That's what I think it is. I think it's animated.

[B]

Fieri has Flavortown. I'm not sure what state that's in,

[C]

but we gotta go there. That's where we should do a live show.

[B]

Flavortown coming to you live from Flavortown. That. Wow, that's amazing. And Rory, good work. You went, you win. Even though you didn't get any. Right. You got that one kind of right.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Crimeless is a production of Smartless Media, Campside Media, and Big Money Players in partnership with iHeart podcasts. It's hosted by Rory Scoville and me, Josh Dean. Our senior producer is Lane Rose. Emma Siminoff is our associate producer. Were sound, designed and engineered by Blake Brook with support from Ewan Leitramuin. Mark McAdam composed our theme song. The executive producers at Campside Media are Vanessa Gregoriadas, Matt Sher, and me, Josh Dean. The executive producers for iHeart podcast and big money players are Jack O', Brien, Lindsey Hoffman, and Matt Apodaca. For Smartless Media, the executive producers are Will Arnett, Jason Bateman, Sean Hayes, and Richard Corson. Bernie Kaminski is head of production. The associate producer is Matty McCann. A special thanks to our operations team, Ashley Warren and Sabina Mara. Do you have a question, comment, or confession for the Crimless team? Email [e-mail] and if you enjoyed Crimeless, please rate and review the show wherever you get your podcasts. It helps people find the show and also makes us feel validated. Unless you're mean, in which case, keep it to yourself. We'll see you next week. Crimeless Nation.

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