"Why is it so easy to steal a car?"

CrimeLess Podcast | iHeartPodcasts + Smartless Media
Hosted by Rory Scovel & Josh Dean | March 11, 2026

Overview

This episode of CrimeLess explores the surprisingly simple methods and peculiar stories behind car theft in America. Hosts Rory Scovel (comedian) and Josh Dean (journalist and true crime podcaster) dive into both goofy and gritty cases—ranging from bumbling animal carjackers to the infamous teenage "Kia Boys." The tone throughout is irreverent, playful, and informative, blending bizarre real-life tales with insight on the technology—and lack thereof—protecting modern vehicles.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. How Hard Is It To Steal a Car in 2026?

• Car Security, Then and Now

  • Hot-wiring via movie tropes (“bust the plastic, twist wires”) is largely obsolete for modern cars ([01:14–01:54]).
  • Modern keyless cars are vulnerable in new ways—even as theft numbers decline from prior years:
    • 2024: ~850,700 cars stolen.
    • 2022: Over a million—a decrease, contrary to public fear ([02:02–02:18]).
    • Most stolen models: Honda Accord, followed by Honda Civic, likely due to their ubiquity and parts value ([02:47–02:57]).

• Notable Quote

  • Josh: “Car thieves are some basic bitches. That’s what I have to say.” ([02:59])

2. Animal “Criminals” of Florida

• Max the Dog and the Spinning Mercury Sable

  • 2019, Port St. Lucie, FL: Labrador named Max accidentally shifted a Mercury Sable into reverse, endless circling a cul-de-sac ([04:31–07:03]).
  • Only damage: one mailbox. No charges for Max or owner; dog declared “happy and fine.”

• Memorable Exchange

  • Rory: “That dog was on the slowest Gravitron ride…” ([07:09])
  • Josh: “No charges filed against Max or his owner… So, actually not a crime. I know I’ve been too hard on Max and dogs.” ([07:15])

• Monkey as Accomplice

  • 2018, Pasco County, FL: Man arrested for car theft has pet capuchin monkey (nicknamed “Monk”) clinging to him; monkey wears a diaper ([08:32–12:40]).
  • Monkey is confiscated by wildlife authorities; man faces unlawfully possessing a wild animal, not car theft.

• Notable Quote

  • Josh: “I can’t just watch cops come between a man and his monkey.” ([13:03])

3. Real Car-Thieving Criminals: The Kia Boys

• The “Kia Boys” Trend

  • Mid-2020 pandemic boredom led mostly underage teens, especially in Milwaukee and Columbus, OH, to steal Kias and Hyundais and brag on TikTok ([17:00–17:31]).
  • Surge in thefts:
    • Columbus: Car thefts rocketed from ~3,500 (2019) to >4,000 by June the next year. At the peak: ~17 Kias/Hyundais stolen per day ([17:48–18:18]).
    • Milwaukee: Kias/Hyundais rose from 6% of thefts (2019) to 67% (2021) ([18:07–18:19]).

• Why These Brands?

  • Key vulnerability: Models (Kia 2011–2021, Hyundai 2015–2021) lack an immobilizer; a USB cable and screwdriver can start the ignition ([18:55–19:08]).
  • “Kia Boys are more about stealing a car and they’ll drive it around and crash it…or a few days…dump it and steal another. So it’s just stealing for sport.” – Columbus detective ([19:39])

• Social Media and Cultural Impact

  • Theft videos “went viral,” even inspiring hip hop tracks ([21:01–21:27]).
  • YouTube’s Kia Boys Documentary by Tommy G (8.5M+ views).
  • “There’s something gentlemanly about this style of theft. It’s like catching a fish and throwing it back—only you’ve definitely killed the fish…” – Rory ([19:55])

• Manufacturers Blamed

  • Class action lawsuit led to $200M settlement; companies offered software patches and steering wheel locks ([23:14–24:05]).
  • “For years, Kia and Hyundai cut corners and sold vehicles they knew were so unsafe...” – Columbus city attorney ([22:50])
  • Not truly a gang, but a loose hashtag collective—“you and I could be Kia Boys” ([24:23]).

4. Manual Transmissions: An Accidental Antitheft Device

• May 2024, Boulder, CO: Car thief (fresh out of jail for car theft) attempts to steal a stick-shift pickup, but can’t drive stick; truck crashes into a fire hydrant ([25:11–25:45]).
• “It’s a Florida action that took place in Colorado.” ([25:59])

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On animal criminals:
  • Josh: “They are our friends, after all.” ([07:15])
• On the TikTok-fueled Kia Boys:
  • Josh: “Stealing for sport.” ([19:43])
  • Rory: “That’s gonna be my new walkout music at my shows…” ([21:08])
• On anti-theft logic and viral responses:
  • TikTok user: “The enemy thought he had me, but Jesus said, You are mine.” ([22:04])
• On lawsuits:
  • Josh: “Owners banded together and filed a class action lawsuit… companies quickly settled…” ([23:14])
• Joke that could be a Crimeless slogan:
  • “What do you call a stupid criminal? A convict.” ([26:23])

Important Segment Timestamps

• How to steal a car—movie myths vs. reality: [01:14–01:54]
• Car theft statistics and most-stolen models: [02:02–02:57]
• Max the Labrador’s “theft” and video recap: [04:31–07:15]
• Monkey car theft companion + summary: [08:32–13:37]
• Introduction to the Kia Boys: [17:00–21:08]
• Kia Boys documentary & music: [20:04–21:14]
• Car owners fight back & class action suit: [21:31–24:05]
• Stick shift thwarts thief in Boulder CO: [25:11–25:59]

Lane’s Game: The Hamster Quiz (Pop Culture Interlude)

• In homage to Kia’s dancing hamsters, producer Lane quizzes the hosts on hamster pop culture moments—ranging from the Hamster Dance meme to Zhu Zhu Pets ([28:14–33:47]).
• Notable wrong answers and joking banter; no one scores more than "technically closer."

Summary

From a dog unwittingly piloting a Mercury Sable in circles, to the “Kia Boys” TikTok auto-theft fad, to car manufacturers facing lawsuits for ignoring anti-theft tech, this episode highlights how car theft remains a surprisingly easy, bizarrely hilarious, and sometimes poignant slice of America’s crime landscape. The mix of true crime with animal antics and pop-culture satire makes this a quintessential CrimeLess episode: funny, insightful, and a little bit wild.

For Listeners

Miss the episode? Now you’re ready to tell friends the wildest car theft stories (and maybe never buy a used Kia). And in case you’re wondering—yes, apparently stick shifts are still a “security feature” for America’s aspiring car thieves.