Podcast
Critters For Dinner
Hosted by Comet Tea Entertainment · EN
"Welcome to 'Critters For Dinner,' where Patton and Jason serve up a side-splitting feast of comedy! Join this dynamic duo as they dish out hilarious takes on current events, pop culture, and Twitter trends. With Patton's southern charm and Jason's northern grit, their unfiltered opinions and outrageous banter guarantee a wild ride of humor and fun! Whether you're a city slicker or a country bumpkin, you won't want to miss this podcast. Tune in for a bellyful of laughs on 'Critters For Dinner'!"
11episodes
Episodes
Newest firstAll episodes
Ghost Hunter Tom Carr
Nov 2, 202401:34:34Tap to summarizeWell, bless your heart, it's that time o' year again, y'all, and the Critters For Dinner crew, Patton and Jason, are fixin' to bring y'all a hootin'-nanny of a 90-minute special with none other than Ghost Hunter Tom Carr. Now, Tom's about as good ol' boy as they come, with evidence of the afterlife that'll make your hair stand up straighter than a rooster's tail at dawn. He's got audio clips that'll make ya question what's out there in the dark, and pictures that'll have ya sayin', "Well, I'll be darned, that's crazier than a coon dog chasin' a three-legged cat!"So, whether you're a die-hard ghost hunter or just plain ol' curious, you're gonna wanna set a spell and watch this here episode. Enjoy.MERCH SHOPhttps://cfd.printify.me/products CASH APPhttps://cash.app/$CrittersForDinner Thank you for supporting Critters For Dinner with X's @GeneralPatton83 and @BIGGF00T
Transcribe →Garbage People
Oct 30, 202400:15:55Tap to summarizeWell, howdy y'all! It's Hump Day here in Critterland, and let me tell ya, we're not just any ol' critters, we're the deplorable critters, the garbage people! Yeehaw, come on down and join us for a knee-slappin', tail-chasin' good time. Episode 89's here and it's hotter than a pepper sprout! If ya thought Episode 88 was a hoot, well, darlin', you ain't seen nothin' yet. But if you somehow missed the last one, you best mosey on back and catch up, 'cause it's a real barn burner. Today, we're dishin' on ol' Joe Biden callin' Trump supporters "Garbage People". Now, normally, folks would be up in arms, but down here in Critterland? We're wearin' that label like a badge of honor. Who'd have thought bein' called garbage would be the ticket to the coolest club in town? If I'd told ya last week you'd be proud to be called a garbage person, you'd reckon I was a few fries short of a happy meal. But here we are, and y'all are lovin' it! So, come on over, grab your sweet tea, and let's have a good ol' laugh at the absurdity of it all. Remember, at Critters For Dinner, every day's a party, especially when you're garbage! MERCH SHOP https://cfd.printify.me/products CASH APP https://cash.app/$CrittersForDinner Thank you for supporting Critters For Dinner with X's @GeneralPatton83 and @BIGGF00T
Transcribe →Trump's Rally in NYC as MSG
Oct 28, 202400:18:56Tap to summarizeHowdy y'all, listen up ya Critter Crew! We got ourselves another hootenanny of an episode comin' your way. Now, Patton, bless her heart, done got it in her head we oughta chow down on some kinda grub or worm for supper tonight. Yes, sir, that there's a critter, but ain't nobody's idea of a tasty treat less'n you're a chicken peckin' round the yard. Makes a feller wonder if she's really thinkin' straight 'bout these meals. But hold onto your overalls, 'cause this ain't just any episode – it's kinda a mini-MAGA special! We done jawed 'bout the ruckus over at Madison Square Garden and chewed the fat over that there Rogan-Trump chinwag from last Friday. This election's wilder than a hog on ice, and ain't we all just countin' the days till we can kick our boots off and get back to the good ol' days. Givin' a big ol' shoutout to Carmen today. Love ya more than a coonhound loves a raccoon, girl! Support CFD with these here links: MERCH SHOP: Y'all can grab some gear right here: https://cfd.printify.me/products CASH APP: Throw a few bucks our way over at: https://cash.app/$CrittersForDinner Follow Patton on X: https://x.com/GeneralPatton83 Follow Jason on X: https://x.com/BIGGF00T We love each and every one of the Critters’ Crew Enjoy Today’s Show!
Transcribe →Rogan & Trump on JRE
Oct 25, 202400:13:47Tap to summarizeWell, butter mah biscuits, it's finally Fry-day and we're 'bout to git ourselves a humdinger of a hoedown on the TV tonight! First off, y'all hitch up yer overalls and tune into CFD, 'cause that's just the appetizer. Then, get ready for the main course 'cause Joe Rogan’s wrasslin’ up a conversation with none other than President Trump, y'all! That's right, we jawed about it all through today's chinwag. We're sittin' on the edge of our lawn chairs, cooler full of cold ones, waitin' to see how this here interview shakes out. Oughta be more entertainin' than a tractor pull in the mud! Today’s shoutout is the amazing SIVE ❤️ Love ya girl :) Support CFD with these here links: MERCH SHOP: Y'all can grab some gear right here: https://cfd.printify.me/products CASH APP: Throw a few bucks our way over at: https://cash.app/$CrittersForDinner Follow Patton on X: https://x.com/GeneralPatton83 Follow Jason on X: https://x.com/BIGGF00T We love each and every one of the Critters’ Crew ❤️ Enjoy Today’s Show!
Transcribe →Trump works at McDonalds
Oct 21, 202400:15:32Tap to summarizeHowdy y'all, what in tarnation is goin' on, Critters Crew? We're plum tickled pink to sling another hootenanny of an episode your way! This here Monday, ol' Patton's cookin' up some possum spaghetti—that's right, ya heard me, possum!—for supper. Then we're fixin' to chew the fat 'bout time travelin'. You wanna mosey back to when dinosaurs was struttin' or zoom ahead to see if we got them flyin' cars yet?Plus, Patton and Jason are jawin' 'bout that there McDonald's what hired Trump to work the drive-thru. Lordy, the memes that sprung from that! It's been a real knee-slapper of a weekend for internet chuckles. Y'all best buckle up, 'cause it's gonna be a wilder ride than a greased pig at the county fair! Support CFD with these here links: MERCH SHOP: Y'all can grab some gear right here: https://cfd.printify.me/products CASH APP: Throw a few bucks our way over at: https://cash.app/$CrittersForDinner Follow Patton on X:@GeneralPatton83 Follow Jason on X: @BIGGF00T We love each and every one of the Critters’ Crew. Enjoy Today’s Show!
Transcribe →Twitter Jail
Oct 16, 202400:16:27Tap to summarizeWell, howdy y'all! It's midweek, and we're diggin' into another wild episode of "Critters For Dinner" Today's vittles? Rat burgers, 'cause Patton was too busy playin' dress-up for Halloween to whip up somethin' fancier. Jason kicked things off yammerin' 'bout his stint in Twitter Jail. Seems like he's been stirrin' up a hornet's nest over on X, and Patton ain’t holdin' back, callin' him a "girl" for gettin' all emotional. Patton, bein' the ever-helpful pal, points out Jason's a tad too sensitive, might even be a momma's boy. So, to sum it up, Jason's gettin' roasted harder than a pig at a county fair, both online and right here in the podcastin' studio. Keep your ears peeled, 'cause Patton and Jason are cookin' up some live shows. They're aimin' to do "Critters Live" weekly – should be a hoot! And hey, a big ol' shoutout to the lovely Pam. Hi, Pam! If y'all wanna support CFD, here's how: MERCH SHOP: Y'all can grab some gear right here: https://cfd.printify.me/products CASH APP: Throw a few bucks our way over at: https://cash.app/$CrittersForDinner Follow Patton on X: https://x.com/GeneralPatton83Follow Jason on X: https://x.com/BIGGF00TWe love each and every one of the Critters’ Crew Enjoy Today’s Show!
Transcribe →The Boy Blob
Oct 14, 202400:23:00Tap to summarizeHowdy y'all, it's a rootin'-tootin' Monday here! We're fixin' to serve up another heaped helping of "Critters For Dinner" straight to yer screens. Today’s shindig is somethin' special, yessiree, 'cause we got our good ol' pal from the Twitterverse, 'The Boy Blob', moseyin' on over to jaw with us and crack some ribs. Now, don’t y'all go thinkin' you can just hear tell of this and give it a miss. Nope, this here episode is like homemade moonshine - ya gotta experience it to truly 'preciate it. We're talkin' 'bout a peculiar thing called Jenkem, where folks are gettin' their highs from, well, let’s just say it's from the wrong end of the outhouse. Hard to fathom, but as true as a coon dog’s nose. Plus, you'll get the lowdown on why The Boy Blob sent Jason packin' with a block the first time they crossed paths. So hitch up yer britches, grab some of grandma's cornbread, and settle in for this knee-slappin' episode of "Critters For Dinner." Y'all ain't gonna wanna miss this hootenanny! Support CFD with these here links: MERCH SHOP: Y'all can grab some gear right here: https://cfd.printify.me/products CASH APP: Throw a few bucks our way over at: https://cash.app/$CrittersForDinner Enjoy the show, we love each and every one of the Critters’ Crew ❤️
Transcribe →Chicken Bone is Coming To Town
Oct 11, 202400:13:01Tap to summarizeWell, tickle me with a feather and call me tickled pink, it's Happy Friday, Y'all! Who's ready to let loose like a coonhound on a scent? Patton's up there yappin' 'bout her special toad stew. Y'all, she says it'll make you wanna slap your mama, it's that good! Give a big ol' yeehaw for Chicken Bone on X. Ever thought about invitin' a digital stranger to bunk in your garage? That's some backwoods hospitality for ya! Jason's gone and done it with Chicken Bone, and that fella's rollin' down to Jason's place this very weekend. Y'all better keep your phones handy; there might be some posts comin' that'll make your granny blush. And that ain't all, we're chewin' the fat 'bout Lieutenant Dan, that hurricane that tossed Florida like a salad, Instagram Threads (because apparently, we ain’t got enough distractions), and Jason's pushin' for Patton to dab Menthol Vapo on her lip. So hitch up your overalls, crack open a cold one, and let's make this weekend legendary, Southern style! Support CFD with these here links: MERCH SHOP: Y'all can grab some gear right here: https://cfd.printify.me/products CASH APP: Throw a few bucks our way over at: https://cash.app/$CrittersForDinner Enjoy the show, y'all! We love each and every one of the Critters Crew ❤️
Transcribe →Iguana Meat
Oct 7, 202400:14:20Tap to summarizeMonday, Monday, Monday. It’s Monday, y'all, and that means the weekend's done gone and it’s time for another hootenanny episode of Critters For Dinner. On today's CFD, Patton’s talkin' 'bout fixin' up some iguana meat for supper. She done found some recipes online, and y'all, it ain’t soundin' half bad. Today’s big talk is all about Florida gettin' ready to be walloped by a big ol' hurricane. We're sendin' up prayers for all them folks who've been knocked sideways by these natural hullabaloos, and for any y'all still in the path of this here storm, y'all best be safe and skedaddle if ya gotta. Jason and Patton also wanna holler a big ol' howdy to Nessa @VanessaNewyorkr and give y'all a sneak peek at what's comin' up this month. We're cookin' up a Halloween Ghost Hunter Special with Tom Carr @TcarrP and we got ourselves a date to jaw with Dave Landau. This month’s fixin' to be a real knee-slapper full of shows. Support CFD with these here links: MERCH SHOP: Y'all can grab some gear right here: https://cfd.printify.me/products CASH APP: Throw a few bucks our way over at: https://cash.app/$CrittersForDinner Yeehaw, and enjoy the show, y'all!
Transcribe →Is Jimmy Carter Alive?
Oct 4, 202400:16:31Tap to summarizeHowdy, y'all! Welcome back to "Critters For Dinner" with yer ol' pals Patton and Jason. Now, Patton's cookin' up a Monster Mash that's gonna make yer taste buds do a hoedown. That gal's got a gift for rustlin' up some wild vittles, I tell ya! Now, Jason kicks things off by flauntin' his tee from '93. Y'all still got a shirt from back in the day? Can ya even squeeze into it, or does it just serve as a reminder of thinner times? Jason also yammers about gettin' tossed from a high school soccer game. Ain't exactly his finest hour, but after Patton spins her tales of gettin' the boot from more places than a stray dog, well, one lil' soccer scuffle ain't much. Then, Patton takes a turn on FEMA, but hold yer horses, first she's got some thoughts on Jimmy Carter and whether that ol' boy should still be checkin' the "I Voted" sticker box. Y'all, thanks for stickin' with "Critters For Dinner". We got more ways to support the show than a possum's got ways to raid a trash can. Watch, download, subscribe, grab some merch, or toss a few bucks in our Cash App. Any lil' bit helps. Y'all have a blessin' of a weekend, and we'll see ya here, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, come Monday. Yeehaw! MERCH SHOP: https://cfd.printify.me/products CASH APP: https://cash.app/$CrittersForDinner
Transcribe →