Why He Ghosted But Still Watches Your IG Stories | Patti Stanger

Summary

Podcast Summary: Culture Apothecary with Alex Clark

Episode: Why He Ghosted But Still Watches Your IG Stories | Patti Stanger
Date: November 29, 2025
Host: Alex Clark
Guest: Patti Stanger (Millionaire Matchmaker, CEO of Millionaires Club)

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Overview

In this lively, unfiltered conversation, Alex Clark welcomes the renowned matchmaker Patti Stanger for a no-holds-barred deep dive into the chaos of modern dating. Covering everything from ghosting and Instagram “lurkers” to old-school gender roles, masculine/feminine energy, and practical dating tips, Patti brings her signature directness, humor, and deeply rooted advice. The episode also features a rapid-fire “Red/Green/Beige Flag” segment, offering priceless clarity for those navigating the confusing world of dating apps and real-life encounters.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Gender Roles & Masculine/Feminine Energy

• Women Texting First & Initiative in Dating

  • Patti is adamant that “masculine energy knows I want that chick. I’m going for it. Get out of my way.” (00:05, 21:57)
  • Both agree it’s best for men to pursue—women texting first often signals masculine energy, which they believe disrupts natural attraction.

• Modern Dating Reverses Gender Roles

  • Patti laments: “Men have switched to feminine. You chase me…women are…calling the shots…The men are sitting on the couch…women are becoming the men.” (03:49)
  • She emphasizes biology and old-fashioned courtship, describing a societal “hunter/provider” crisis. (04:04)

• Effects of Social Shifts

  • Timeline from the 60s to now: birth control, shifting sexual norms, and tech have changed the landscape, but “the biology hasn’t changed, just the technology.” (04:47)

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The Modern Dating Marketplace: Apps, Meeting IRL, and Stats

• Dating App Ratio

  • Patti recommends only 10-25% of dating energy go into apps: “Use social media, but get out in the real world!” (05:28–05:42)
  • The rest should be divided between meeting people through friends, being open to chance encounters (“the magic”), and real-life activities.

• Best Places to Meet Singles (besides bars)

  • Suggestions for women: golf courses, sporting events, pickleball clubs, running/hiking clubs, and mocktail bars. Men are advised to explore Pilates/yoga for environments where women outnumber men. (07:13–09:27)

• Practical IRL Meeting Example

  • “Pretend you don’t know how to golf…someone’s going to come over and help you.” (07:13)
  • For men: “Look for no ring. Say, ‘Can I ask you a question? You’re really beautiful, are you single?’” (55:55)

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Ghosting, Communication, and Emotional Safety

• Ghosting Explained

  • Ghosting is rampant; reasons include juggling multiple women, inability to communicate honestly, or being “dismissive/avoidant.” (38:07–39:33)
  • “A real man would say, ‘I just thought about it, Alex, I don’t think we’re right for each other.’” (38:36)

• Instagram Lurkers

  • “If he always watches your Instagram stories, but never texts, you are on the back burner. He’s created you as an option…Block him.” (61:30)

• Attachment Styles

  • Ghosters often have “dismissive-avoidant” attachment and avoid confrontation. (39:33)

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Standards, Red Flags, and Navigating Dating Uncertainty

• High Standards vs. Picky

  • Limit must-haves to five; being “picky” with endless criteria is a trap, especially in a “dating drought.” (12:25)

• Dating Men Over 36, Living With Mom, Credit Cards

  • Men never married over 36: “Not necessarily [a red flag] if he’s a millionaire…if past 40, you have a problem.” (13:45, 59:15)
  • “If a grown man tells you his favorite hobby is video games” = beige flag unless it’s excessive. (57:32)
  • Living with mom (past early 20s) or no credit card = “red flag.” (58:32, 63:16)

• Indicators Someone Will Cheat

  • Past cheating, possible “cheater gene,” and lack of family/relationship track record. (12:00–12:03)

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The “Red, Green, Beige Flag” Game Highlights

(Paraphrased key calls from the rapid-fire segment, see timestamps for full detail)

• Grown man’s hobby is video games: Beige (57:32)
• Lives with mom, “saving for a house”: Red (58:32)
• 40, never married, “focusing on self”: Red – narcissist (59:22)
• “Doesn’t believe in labels”: Red (59:59)
• Never posts you on social media: Red (64:01)
• Super close with a female “best friend”: Beige to red—she better be married or ‘hideous.’ (64:34)
• Refuses to discuss past relationships: Red—likely dismissive-avoidant (65:10)
• Watches stories, but doesn’t text: Red—option (61:25)
• Communicates only via Snapchat (especially over 30): Red (62:44)
• No credit card because “debt is evil”: Red (63:16)

Memorable game exchange:

Patti: “If he always watches your Instagram stories but doesn’t text you…you are an option. Block him.” – (61:33)

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Relationship Progression & Exclusivity

• How Long Until You Know?

  • “Men know within ten minutes if they’ll marry you—if they’re in masculine energy.” (10:07)
  • “If a guy hasn’t made you exclusive in three months, you have a problem.” (51:21)
  • Ghosting or lack of initiatives to move the relationship forward are major red flags. (43:18)

• Sex, Monogamy, and Commitment

  • Patti’s rule: “No sex before monogamy.” Sleeping with a man too quickly may not yield commitment. (17:27, 56:39)

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Feminine Energy & “Husband Material” Traits

• Husband Material
  • “Man with a plan is the sexiest man on the street. Man with no plan—not sexy.”
  • “Check his social media, LinkedIn…is he family-oriented? Talks about the future? That’s a man.” (25:21–28:13)
• Women’s Role
  • Patti: “You will end up being his mother…and men do not want to f**k their mothers.” (17:21)
  • Women can “grow into” love, men “scan and know” early on. (43:33)

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Social Change, Hopelessness & Spiritual Advice

• Why Are Some Women Single Late Into Life?

  • Not always their “fault”—women need to be asked out; don’t buy into “cat lady” shaming. (13:45)
  • “Stop blaming women…A lot has to do with men.” (15:21)

• Working On Yourself, Holding Standards

  • “Stop dating down. Do not date potential. Date what they have now, because that’s all you’re getting.” (12:59)
  • “The cleaner you make your field, the quicker you’re going to level up to better men.” (50:30)

• Healing Culture Spiritually

  • Patti, emotionally: “Give it to God. Let go.” (71:39)
  • She shares how being single is often unfairly stigmatized and how faith/spirituality and prayer have kept her centered. (71:47)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Where there’s meat, there’s men.” (03:05)
• “If you get into a relationship with a man and he expects you to do everything, you will end up being his mother—and men do not want to f**k their mothers.” (17:21)
• “No sex before monogamy…Close your legs.” (17:27)
• “If he always watches your Instagram stories but doesn’t text you…you are an option. Block him.” (61:33)
• “Man with a plan is the sexiest man on the street. Man with no plan—not sexy.” (25:56)
• “Limit your list to five non-negotiables.” (12:28)
• “Ghosting has got to stop. It’s even happening at work, by the way.” (39:00)
• “The cleaner you make your field, the quicker you’re going to level up to better men. It might be a longer wait, but you always get better.” (50:30)
• “Give it to God. Let go.” (71:39)

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Noteworthy Timestamps

• Texting First, Gender Roles: 00:00–05:00, 18:43, 21:57, 18:50
• App vs. IRL Meeting Ratios/Advice: 05:28–09:27
• Men, Marriage, and Knowing Quickly: 10:07–11:29, 28:24
• Red, Green, Beige Flag Game: 57:08–66:03
• Ghosting and Modern Emotional Games: 38:04–40:16
• Advice for the Chronically Single: 67:49–71:33
• Spiritual Healing—Final Remedy: 71:33–72:26

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Conclusion: The Culture Cure

As the episode wraps, Patti’s central remedy for “healing a sick dating culture” is a fusion of self-work, strong boundaries, feminine energy—but above all, surrendering the pressure and timeline to God. Both women offer pragmatic steps and witty insight wrapped in tough love, with memorable takeaways on standing firm in values, rooting out red flags, and not settling for less than genuine partnership.

Listener takeaway: This episode is both a wakeup call and a guidebook for singles tired of mixed messages, low effort, and unmet expectations—delivered with humor, candor, and a dash of hope.

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Transcript

[A]

Is it okay for a woman to text first?

[B]

No, I agree. I agree.

[A]

And people think I'm crazy for this.

[B]

No, they all tell me the same thing. I'm a lunatic, I'm out of step. I don't know what I'm talking about. It's biology. Masculine energy knows I want that chick. I'm going for it. Get out of my way.

[A]

Why might a guy seem hyper, super interested in a girl on the first date?

[B]

And then he goes, he is a demon.

[A]

Red, green or beige flag. He always watches your Instagram stories, but he doesn't text you.

[B]

You are an option. He's created you as an option. He didn't ask you whether you want to be an option. He's just like, oh, I can always have her block him.

[A]

You ever have a first date that felt amazing. Great chemistry, deep conversation, maybe even a kiss good night. And then poof, they disappear. No text, no call, just ghosted into the sunset. Is it a red flag if someone in their mid to late 30s has never been married? Where is the best place to meet other singles besides the bar? Does it matter who texts first? How about the best way to approach a cute girl in public? Modern dating can feel like a full time job where everyone is swiping, standards are confusing and nobody seems to know what they actually want anymore. That is why today I brought in the ultimate straight shooter on love, Patty Stanger. She's a third generation matchmaker, the founder and CEO of the Millionaires club and the woman who turned the millionaire matchmaker into a global phenomenon. We even play a rapid fire game of red, green or beige flag. And yes, she's got opinions. Watch this episode on the Jevy Studio on the real Alex Clark YouTube channel or culture Apothecary on Spotify. Patty is the best of the best. So please pause. Leave a five star review for us because she is a legend. Find the show on Instagram at Culture Apothecary or me at Real Alex Clark. Please welcome the millionaire matchmaker Patty Stanger to Culture Apothecary. First date. Coffee, dinner or drinks?

[B]

Well, it drinks to dinner so we're in a new stage of dating. I normally would say dating should be dinner because it's romance, but a lot of people don't want to spend that kind of money, so. And they don't want to waste the time. They're very like fast paced right now because of social media. They are like, come on, get in, get out. So drinks and if he likes you, you're going to get food. Now that could segue to dinner. A smart man's going to go, are you hungry? Let me walk over the maitre d and let's see if I can get a table where we're cozy and quiet with each other.

[A]

That's what I like.

[B]

Yeah. I like to see if they're gonna spend money.

[A]

Yes. And I like the option where I have an easy out. Because if I'm committing just to a drink, you know, cocktail, mocktail, whatever, Whatever your speed is. If I'm only committing to a drink, it's easy for me to be like, well, that was really nice, but I really have to get going. If I'm sitting there now, we started to order dinner. I have to commit to, like, at least an hour and a half.

[B]

And what is so terrible about eating a meal? Men love to eat, and they don't like eating alone. That's why they go to steakhouses. You know, I always say, where there's meat, there's men. Right? So I go, what is the big deal? You have to eat anyway. You're hungry, they're hungry. Maybe he may not be the guy, but maybe he knows the guy. Get the referral.

[A]

That's an interesting point. So you don't think that we should bail? We should try to get the dinner? Because it could just be that he's a connector towards somebody else.

[B]

Intuition should be your guy. If you feel no, then no. If you feel like, I need lunch on this one, I need brunch on this one, Go with your gut. But sometimes it's imperative that you know, a man spends money that shows he's a hunter. That shows he wants you. When a man's cheap, like coffee, who goes on coffee dates?

[A]

Do you think that modern dating culture has made women too masculine and men too feminine?

[B]

Absolutely. Men have switched to feminine. You chase me.

[A]

You make the money.

[B]

I'm drinking the plastic water and my hormones are disrupted.

[A]

Yeah, from you listen to me.

[B]

Okay, I listen to you. Girl 2 snaps up. But then women are, like, going to call the shots. I'm going to move in with him. He's a project. I see the potential. I'll make the arrangements. I'll make the theater tickets. I'll get this, I'll get that. And before long, the men are sitting on the couch with limp. Right? And the women are becoming the men, and they've got. They've grown a vagina at this point. It's very sad what's happening. I think that was the reason I love Charlie so much is because he was teaching men to be providers. And hunters in a society or where we've forgotten who we are, that's basically it.

[A]

What do you think is the main catalyst for that? Like, how did we get here?

[B]

I think we started in the 60s burning our bras. 70s was free sex and love and whatever. The 80s were the selfish generation. And then in the 90s, we had the sex and the city generation, where it's like, I can sleep with anybody and nothing will happen. No, sorry. You have oxytocin. You will get bonded to the gas station attendant if you're not careful. And we're not talking about the alchemy, the science of how these two machines, a male and a female machine work. And I'm talking straight as well as gay, because everybody's different now. You know, we got a whole bunch of, you know, assortment on the menu, but when it comes to straight dating, the girl's still the girl. The biology hasn't changed, you know, just the technology.

[A]

Yeah, I saw that you had told people, you say that only 10 of our time as singles should be spent on dating apps.

[B]

Yes. I'm not. I'm not against it.

[A]

So what is it? So when. What are we doing with the other 90?

[B]

Well, it's kind of like 25. Because it's like 25 on dating apps or social media, you know, because we still have got Instagram where people are DMing and Facebook. I'm not saying it's only apps. There's other ways. LinkedIn. I wish LinkedIn had dating, by the way. Hint, hint, LinkedIn. And so there's that. Then there's 25% of going out in the real world. I go out to the global ambassador, which you just gave me the hookup on, and I go out and I sit at a bar, I sit at. You know, maybe I'm sitting a courtside playing tennis, and I take a little iced tea break, you know, and I meet people, right? Then there's a 20% of the friends hooking you up. I know somebody, my mother's gonna fix me up. Because every mother's in their trying to get that child hooked up. But then the last 25% is the magic. That's the wiggle room. That's the. The fairy godmother that just. You get on a plane, you're not looking, and happenstance happens. You know, like I said, I was engaged once by sitting next to someone back in the day. I'm old, and we had the same paper ticket, same exact seat. And I had seen him under the sign thinking he was going to A different city. And. And he was the producer of Andrea Bocelli's concerts. And we. And Andrea Bocelli was in first class. We hit it off, we fell in love, didn't work out. But nonetheless, it was the universe orchestrating that, because there is that too. We do still have that. If you open your eyes and get out of the house.

[A]

So where do you think right now, besides bars are the best places to meet other singles in the day. In the day.

[B]

In the day where the day. Date golf. You want to meet a man? Play golf, Go to the golf range. Pretend you don't know how to hit the ball. Someone's going to come over and help you. Golf is a rich sport. Also, any type of sport, skiing, going to a basketball game, like, you know your favorite team. Buy tickets for these things instead of wasting your money on 50 other things. You don't need a magical dress. You just need a pair of jeans and a baseball cap. I mean, like, I'm obsessed with the Dodgers, right? It took two years for me to get into this Dodgers community. I've lived in LA almost like what, 30 years. And my exes were all baseball players. And now all of a sudden I just took off. I don't know what happened to me. I changed and now I'm an addict. Football, baseball, basketball. And now the new thing is pickleball.

[A]

I was just gonna say.

[B]

What's the other one? Padel. Padel is the new. Is another one. I don't know that the earlier it's another version of pickleball, but I think it's a little different. And so they're getting these communities all over the United States. Built a huge community in Fort Lauderdale. It looks like a country club for pickle ball. Uhhuh. It's like you're going to a country club. Beach clubs.

[A]

Beach clubs. So it.

[B]

Beach clubs.

[A]

So it. There's an amazing one in Hon. Honolulu that I. That I like. But yeah, you're so right. If you live in a beach town, that's a great place to go.

[B]

And. And you have to remember what you're attracted to. You have to flip it to the opposite sex. So like, for instance, one of my friends is like, you gotta learn how to play poker. I don't like gambling. So I was like, do I have. She's like, you'll meet tons of men because the men outnumber the women. So you have to go where they outnumber. Now if you're a guy. Yoga, Pilates. My ex went to Pilates and it was like 90% female and you got hit on every week, so it's that too. Um, so you gotta figure out what your market is. Gay is kind of like bowl streets I would say, you know, you could do a little bit of both. You don't have to like stay on one street but again there you can go on meetup. You can find places there because they'll say like singles between such and such age. So you don't waste your time. There's all these new mocktail clubs opening up. I don't drink and so I'm really excited about this that we're getting mocktail bars all over the United States. It's big in Europe and this new generation doesn't drink.

[A]

That's right.

[B]

You know.

[A]

Yeah, they don't. That's why I'm like, what is there besides bars? And I'm glad you brought up pickleball because the pickleball clubs are huge. And then another thing that I see all over TikTok are run clubs.

[B]

Yes, I see them all over. I live in Marina del Rey in California and the runner club is everywhere. They get a really early in the morning and then about, I don't know, 11 o' clock if you're going to get your coffee, you're seeing them all over. Saturday and Sunday, running everywhere. And there are a lot of hot guys.

[A]

A lot of hot guys. And we have a hiking club because I live in, you know, I love to. Hiking club is where it's at. Especially like in these cooler months. I think that's a huge thing. Do you believe that a man knows within the first 10 minutes if he'll marry you? I mean, is it that quick?

[B]

Yeah, unless they're feminine energy and they don't know they get in the. I don't know yet. But when a man is masculine energy, he knows.

[A]

I think like within three dates they're like, I would marry her. Maybe within 10 minutes he likes you. But you think, no, within 10 minutes he'll know if I'll marry you.

[B]

This antenna that goes up in an alpha male, we're not talking a beta male. So an alpha, it's kind of depends on the street. A left handed male, okay. Is kind of like feminine and masculine together they're. They're called the androgynous male. I don't know if you know this. And so left handed males kind of would take a little more time. But a right handed male is like, yep, I scanned her, I can do her now. I want to find her under the hood of the Car. Oh, great. She knows how to speak. Oh, great. She has a job. We live near each other. Doom I'm marrying her. Every guy that I got engaged to knew right away they were marrying me. I didn't know. I was like, who are you?

[A]

What do you think about the theory that says a man doesn't marry once he's met the one he decides he's ready to marry, and then he just chooses whoever is in his life at that time.

[B]

I know. I've watched that, like Sex and Sea and stuff with the green light on the taxi and all. There is that, because then you have the, like the exit. Said, I gave all my best years to him and then he married the next one in seven minutes. But that doesn't mean they're gonna last. You know what I mean? So he could be ready because he wants to have a child. So I think the child is more the indicator, like. Or he's in a career like Wall street, where you don't look good if you're not married, so people don't take you seriously.

[A]

Or politics.

[B]

Right. Or politics. Right. Who's single in politics, right? That's true. Yeah. Okay. But he's one, right. And he's 90, so. Yeah. So you don't look good as a Republican. You wouldn't look at us being single, right. So it's one of those things. So you would have to get a mate to climb the ladder. And then they think they take like a little more seriously. I think after 30, they know more than in their 20s.

[A]

Are there any indicators that somebody would be prone to cheating on you? Just in the dating stage, like if.

[B]

You were to marry them, if they were cheaters in the past.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

There is indication that there is there they're kind of studying genealogy where they're finding like the sociopathic gene and the narcissistic gene. Now they're finding the cheater gene. What, that it might be in the DNA and it might be ancestral, like from your lineage. Yeah, I know. Wouldn't that be amazing? Hey, you know, ancestry does my boyfriend a cheater? Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

How do you know the difference between having high standards and just being picky?

[B]

I think picky is when you have 100 things on a list and you're to the floor, to the point where you won't date anyone. You got to only do five, you know, must haves non negotiables and then two physical quirks and you're off to the races. If you start making a list to the floor, you're going to Be you're going to be out of luck because there's barely anyone there anyway. Right now we're in a very big dating drought and women are on the wrong side of the street. They're the one getting screwed and they don't want to get out of the house. We've got a boy sober movement going on right now.

[A]

Okay, so what are your non negotiables?

[B]

I like someone who has money now because I used to date down. So I don't recommend dating down. They always bite the hand that feed you and they get resentful. Stop dating down. Do not date potential. Date what they have now because that's all you're getting. I think I'm looking for someone who's got a really good heart. Kind heart, spiritual. I'm not religious, but I'm more spiritual. I'm very of God and that kind of thing. I believe in God. Somebody who is giving and nurturing and kind. Those kinds of things. I'm looking for internal more. You know, we can always fix the clothes and get them to the gym and put them on a GLP, you know, a GLP.

[A]

Okay. In your opinion, if you're over 36 and still never married, is that a red flag or is that, you know, is that saying that there's something that you need to be working on?

[B]

Is that a male or female?

[A]

Male.

[B]

Male. Not necessarily. Because a true millionaire doesn't make money till he hits 40. So that's statistics. But if he's past 40, you got a problem. So I'll give him 40 and up. Then we. We're seeing like, we're seeing men in their 50s, never married, never had a cat, never had a dog. Well, I don't want to ca. But a dog. Never had a dog and like, never took care of a plant. And they're like, I'm still one day gonna have children. I'm like, okay, sure you are. But as far as women go, no women can get married at any time. It's not their fault. They need to be asked out. Hello, J.D. vance. Stop calling everybody cat ladies. Because I'm mad at him for that. I. I understand his. His point. I don't like the way he went about the whole cat lady thing. Because you're not blaming the men for not stepping up when they're the leader. Remember, the penis goes into the vagina, not the other way around.

[A]

Yes. Okay. There's a bunch of discourse online of guys saying I need a woman who's going to bring me peace. And these women do not Bring me peace.

[B]

Are you kidding me?

[A]

Valid or weird? Valid or weird?

[B]

Incels. What are those?

[A]

I. I think it's kind of the incel.

[B]

Yeah, it's got to be an incel community because there's no such thing. It's. You're supposed to bring the women piece so they can nurture you and take care of you and love you and grow with you. It's not the other way around. Who's like giving this information? It blows my mind. Where are the parents in all this?

[A]

I think that their mindset is that a woman is supposed to bring that peaceful feminine energy so they can go out there and be like, you know, the brutalists and. And super masculine and whatever. In their mind, you know, they're the super alpha male. I think that's why they say that.

[B]

But what about. Look, if the women are in a constant state of fear all the time, if you don't make her feel relaxed and her nervous systems resets to a state of calm, how is she gonna make you feel calm? Like you gotta stop putting it on the women. I'm done with that stuff. I'm not blaming women anymore. It's. A lot has to do with men and I know they're gonna come for me because I'm a woman, but I study both sides of the street and I analyze, I look what's going on, I listen to my community and I get DMS to the cows, come home all day long.

[A]

No, I think that you're actually right, Patty. And even if for my, for the members of my Christian audience that would be looking at this from a biblical perspective, I think you are correct. Because when we talk about like a husband is supposed to lead with love, you have to love your wife first so that then she feels comfortable kind of like, you know, being under your headship. Like if you are not loving her and being gentle with her and, and kind and patient, like she's not able to be that calm in that piece. And a woman, I feel like a wife is really the direct reflection of the husband's leadership. So if you are not a good leader and you're giving her anxiety and she doesn't know when to expect you when you're coming home, what's going on, what mood you're going to be bringing into the door, she's going to be all over the place and therefore not able to give you your peace.

[B]

Any religion, you know, like Christianity, Judaism or a Christian Judeo Christian country. I agree with the Bible on the premise, like when I look at Jesus who could be more loving than him? Right. You know, and so I see this as like, he's the leader, you know, I mean, he told people what to do and not everybody followed him. But at the end of the day, he's a man. He's a man. I'm a woman. He's a man. I could be raped, tortured, whatever. And I need that man to take care of me. And we are in a state of crazy emergency right now. So if I don't see a man stepping up, why date him? Why date him? You're going to end up being his mother. Remember that. If you get into a relationship with a man and he expects you to do everything, you will end up his mother and he will resent you. And men do not want to f their mothers.

[A]

What are women 25 to 35 years old doing that is repelling men?

[B]

The oversexing.

[A]

What does that mean?

[B]

Which it's okay, I'm going to get yelled at this, but I will just come for me. This whole scantily clad naked dressing movement, I'm not a fan of Less is more and from my generation and what my mother taught me. And if you give it too much, if you sleep with them right away without commitment, I'm no sex before monogamy. Now, I know some people will in the Christian movement are no sex before marriage, that's fine. But I'm no sex before monogamy. And I don't agree with you giving it away for one night of fun and alcohol drinking, that's not my thing. So I see girls doing this all the time, especially in their 20s, when they want to have fun and they don't realize he's not going to call you back. He's going to take advantage. You're going to be in a situationship. I see this all across the board. Close your legs.

[A]

Okay, so the situationship epidemic.

[B]

Yes. Big one.

[A]

Big one is you think a direct correlation to girls being too immodest on social media and aggressive in sleeping around.

[B]

Okay, we were talking about someone before. We will not mention their name. She slipped into his DMS and asked her out. Think about that. And she's younger than him. So if you think about that. What are you getting out of this? He can't be a hunter. Okay? You've now taken the reins as masculine energy and you're hunting him.

[A]

So this is. This brings up the entire debate of is it okay for a woman to text first.

[B]

No, I agree. I agree.

[A]

And people think I'm crazy.

[B]

No, they all tell me the same thing. I'm a lunatic. I'm out of step. I don't know what I'm talking about. It's biology. Yeah, it's biology. And by the way, you seem to think that if he falls in love through sex, he falls in love through emotional connection. That's the only way. Men do not fall in love through sex. That's why they roll over a bed and, you know, eat a pizza. They don't care. You think that the better the sex is, the more he's going to come back? Yeah, he will. He'll come back and he'll marry somebody else.

[A]

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[B]

I'm like, this is so weird. If I'm accepting an invitation and I'm taking your phone call to talk for 20 minutes or whatever, I like you, right? Do you need a neon sign in Times Square to know this? How insecure are you than your feminine energy? Because masculine energy is not insecure. Masculine energy knows, I want that chick. I'm going for it. Get out of my way. They don't care. They want what they want. But if you go for the guy that's wishy washy, the feminine energy, female. A lot of them are on the west coast, unfortunately, California has a lot of them. A lot. And they, they're just like one big walking hormone disruptor walking around because they don't understand. Either they're not raised right by their parents or they're following the herd, which I'm not a herd follower. I've never been like that. So you've got to stop following the herd and you got to realize what you're doing is not working. So if you're listening, guys, pay attention to what Alex is saying because you need to ask the girl out, chase her down. Like, I remember three months in my last boyfriend's like, well, how come you don't call me? And I go, because I wasn't raised that way and I feel uncomfortable. And eventually I started doing it and the relationship changed and he started pulling back and then you had to play the game where you don't do it anymore. And it's like, what she. And we were up and down the whole time. And it never lasted because I was staying in my feminine. When he met me, he was in his masculine. Then he wanted to switch roles and he was in his 50s. Like, it doesn't change because you're older.

[A]

Let's give guys this piece of advice. On the day of the date, you've got a date plan for that night. How many times should you reach out to her and text throughout the day?

[B]

One morning, you make a text before noon and you say, can't wait to see you tonight. I'll meet you at the restaurant. Or offer to pick them up if there's another situation like that and say, you know, see you at 7, can't wait to see you. That's it. That's all you need. We write back, we can't wait to see you. See you at 7. If you get lost or you can't find it, you could text him and say, hey, look, I'm lost. I can't find the restaurant. I had a situation like that a couple weeks ago. I couldn't find the restaurant. He didn't have a sign. And then if. If you're in a situation where he's offering to pick you up, let him pick you up.

[A]

Anti being picked up.

[B]

But you have to understand it would be like your best friend arranged the date. Like, it has to be something where you're not in danger. You're not in danger. Yeah, because like an app date, you have to be at a primary location. You can ping your girlfriend and say, I'm here. There's things you can do for safety. When you talk about the 5050 part, let's talk about that. Where the man has to spend 50% of the date. Will you pay for half or will you pay for the date? He asks who out pays. So if even in gay who he who asks who out get has to pay. But sometimes you go to a date. My assistant had this last year and she didn't know what to do. She was shocked. The guy was rich, picked a really expensive restaurant in Venice, and then at the end you want to split it. She's like, well, you asked me and she said, you want to get the drinks? And she paid for the drinks. I was like, what are you doing? You get up, you go to the bathroom and you leave. You leave no explanation. You delete his information and block it and you don't explain. Stop teaching men how to date for the next girl. They don't deserve it.

[A]

I've never heard of. I've never on a date, had a.

[B]

Guy ask me to pay over California. It is now becoming a thing in New York. Ew. Oh. It's called 5050. You got to look. That's a Google thing for next. Next time.

[A]

Yeah. Thank God that has not made its way to Scottsdale, but I'm sure it's coming. Okay, so what makes a man 25 to 35 years old? Husband material?

[B]

Well, I mean, look, he's a little young, right? Okay, so he's got a projectory, like, you know, he's building a corporation. He's getting his medical license. He's becoming a lawyer, or he maybe is working in firm. But he's got a plan. And he wants a house, right? And he wants a house in a safe neighborhood. He wants his kids to go to good schools. You're talking about children. If you want children. Not everybody wants kids. Okay, but you have a plan. Man with a plan is the sexiest man on the street. Man with no plan. Not sexy. I don't care if he's got an Alpha Romeo and six houses in Beverly Hills. Not, not. Not a good one.

[A]

I'm not on the apps right now, but when I was, I think what I had written on there was like, men, what are you building?

[B]

Yeah. And you should sit. Okay, one quick thing. Don't talk as much on the date. Let the man talk at you. Sometimes you'll get annoyed because maybe he didn't have enough questions and that kind of tells you who he is. That's the thing.

[A]

Yeah, that's an epidemic.

[B]

That's an epidemic.

[A]

You not ask us questions.

[B]

But let him do that, because then you're going to be able to check whether or not he's material to go on another date with. But however. And that's also on the phone call. I'm a big phone caller. I have to hear your voice. If you have feminine energy voice. I don't. I don't want to go.

[A]

Oh, yes. Yeah, I can tell immediately. Chemistry wise, like, okay, I could be into them before the first date if we do a phone call.

[B]

And if you want to do like on Bumble, they have the FaceTime thing, you know, like where you can actually see each other. Some people like it. The lighting is actually going on. Bumble for the FaceTime thing versus regular FaceTime. Just telling you, everybody talks about this. You can also put a little light up. We all have a little diva light, right? Make yourself pretty. Pull up, lipstick on, as my mother would say. But the bottom line is, when you're going on these dates, you want to screen. So you want to screen on a phone call to see if you even want to go out of the house and, you know, shower, get your hair done, get your nails done. Because we spent a lot of money to date. Like, men don't have to do anything.

[A]

How do you know a guy's husband material? So it's man with a plan, right?

[B]

And he's not BSing you. You can. You can check it where he lives on LinkedIn. You know, there's a great app. It's called Spokeo. I don't get paid for this, although they should. Spokeo is a background checkout. It's not going to have everything, but it's gonna have a lot, a lot there, I think. Also, they talks about the future. He's family oriented. He likes being around his family. He likes being around kids. He may not have a family, but he goes, I would always look. I always wanted to have family. You know, he likes animals. He's a dog lover. That. That would turn me on. He also, like, maybe he's doing worldly things, like, he wants to travel, or he loves the theater, or he loves concerts, like, your favorite music. And he gets tickets. Tickets. He gets tickets. Right away you say, I like, I don't know, some band. What's your favorite band, Laney? Okay. And, like, I wouldn't know what that is. So he Googles it. He finds that it's in town. He got you tickets. That's a man. That's not a boy. That's a man.

[A]

I also think there's something to be said. There's a difference between a man who wants to be married and a dad and a man who's ready to be a husband and a father.

[B]

And he's not afraid of the N word. So if she. He says, what now? This is scary. We are in a different time right now. We used to be able to go on a date. And your mother would say, don't say anything. Don't scare him away with the N word. No, no. Listen to Mama Patty. What do you want? Alex, what would you like? Alex, what would you like? What do you see the future? What do you want out of life?

[A]

I want to be married. I want to be a mother.

[B]

And she's not afraid. And you will get the guy who goes, whoop, My ex fiance heard me go. I want to be married. And I thought, okay, I'm never going out with him again. And he thought that was the sexiest thing he ever heard because no woman had ever done it. He said to me, I want to be married and have kids. You know, like he said that to me on that first date. And I was like, I've never heard a guy say that. Because back in the day, men didn't say that. But now if you say it's like, I don't have time to waste. You want what I want or get away.

[A]

That's how I feel and that's why I'm not opposed and you can tell me what you think, but I'm not opposed to talking about religion or politics on the first day either.

[B]

Either am I, I think because we're an independent deal breaker. Yeah. So like if you are a die hard leftist, you know, Democrat, you're not dating a right wing Republican. It's not happening. You know, like, I'm more in the middle. I'm an independent that leans towards the right. I could, I don't, I don't think I'm ever going to go back to the D team, but whatever. I like being with men who are Republicans. There's, there's a little more alpha to them. They're like, come here honey, I paid the check, let's go. Like, I like that. It, it, it. For someone who's strong, like you and I were in a very strong industry, we can come off as like masculine by work. But when I go on a date at night, I'm a feminine person. No one's seen that. They might have seen it once on the show with my ex, David. They might have seen it because I was very soft on that, that episode. But they don't always see that. And then my friends are like, I'll go out with dinner with a couple, bunch of couples. Like, you didn't talk the whole night. I'm like, I listened.

[A]

You are like the only person probably that I've ever talked to that can relate to this, what I go through. But what's hard and frustrating for me as a public figure is that I'm the same way. So I make a living being like super bold and brash and kind of cutthroat with my opinions and things like that. And in real life, I know, especially in a relationship, I am very soft. And so, you know what their friends and family will do before meeting me is they're like doing the intel over me and they're like, I don't think this girl's ready to be married. Like, she's extremely like harsh and. And brash.

[B]

I've had that where I can't fix you up with this person because you're too this. And I'm like, you don't even know what I'm like on a date. Exact. And I don't look at. I'm looking. You know, I read energy, and I see you as the softest thing in the world. You're just really smart. So you need a really smart guy. Not. It does have to be smarter than you. It just has to be at your level. Like, he gets life, you know, he's not dumb. Like, he went to college. He's worked on himself. He's maybe done some classes and, you know, trying to find his way in the world and has a little bit more extra pep in the step. You can be still smarter.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But he's gotta keep up a bit. And also, I don't think it's fair to judge you based on the show. That's wrong. They don't know what you're like in your personal time.

[A]

And I mean, I am myself. You know, I am the same person on and off the show and on and off camera, as I'm sure you are too. But you and I can relate to in the entertainment world. It's like it's amped up a notch.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

It's like, you got to be a little bit extra. I know how to, like, entertain people, you know, But I'm not always talking like, I'm not doing that when I'm.

[B]

Like, I'm not a Bravo Ality 24 7.

[A]

You know what I mean?

[B]

Because that was the way we were taught. Like, we were OGs, and we had to be, and we had to get those readings and we had to scan people and criticize. And, like, I think about all the recruiting, and I did something really bad to Trisha Paytas back in the day, and I always feel guilty about it because I screened her and I said, you want this? Well, they want that. And it probably told her lose weight, which she's now an iconic star on Broadway. And I was an idiot. But in those days, you had to be like that to get your ratings up. I would never be like this again. I am much more sensitive to people now. I am tough on certain people, but that's because I only have, like, certain amount of time to get them out of the nest.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And get them moving. And if you want love, chop up. This is boot camp.

[A]

And you're probably a little bit different with clients on TV than you are.

[B]

I never yell at clients. I can't, like, sue me.

[A]

It's a little bit different.

[B]

It's a little different under the network. We have like the showrunners in our ear telling us what to do. And sometimes I'm like, pull it out and go, screw you. And other times I'm like, that's really smart. I'm going to do that. But most of the time, I'm scanning everybody and I'm looking at energy. And it is an energetic frequency. When you meet your mate, there is this. In Judaism, we call it the Besheart. So it's the meant to be. And so there's a different kind of. It's like two little outlets coming together and making like a plug in the wall. And you can feel the difference versus. And that doesn't mean it's gonna last forever because you're growing and evolving. You know, soul contracts, you grow and evolve over time. And sometimes, you know, that's why there's divorce. But eventually you realize, during the course of the road, I'm gonna change. I'm gonna grow and evolve. And the more lessons you learn, the more you're gonna level up. When you level up. I haven't been in a relationship in two years. I took a two year break working on myself. I know now I'm a completely different person than I was two years ago. People might criticize me that I'm not married. I had opportunities. Men ask me out all the time. I've been engaged. They weren't the right people. I know who I am now, and I'm the best I've ever been. And so when you level up, different people show up. And then you gotta know what to choose. My mother would say men are like buses. They come every 10 minutes. You just gotta know what bus to get on. I like that. Yeah. So she always, like, even to the day she died, she met men when she was single, and even when she was married, men were hitting on her in the grocery store. So you just gotta look at things like, there is no. We're not running a race. Everybody's different at a different pace. You might be later, like a late bloomer. Don't put yourself down for it. You might be getting a better guy that way.

[A]

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[B]

Oh, good. I want to hear a good story.

[A]

A year ago, I go on this fantastic first date. I am like, wow. I was. We had all of these different worldview things aligned, you know, religion, politics. Liked his personality. I felt like there was chemistry. I was extremely attracted to him. Like, I felt like we were vibing. It was really good. He asked me on a second day before the first one was even over for like a couple days. After that couple days rolls around, he's like, I am so sorry. I have never had to do this. I am so sick right now. Like, I already know I'm going to have to cancel for tomorrow because I just came down with, like, a horrible cold. But let me reschedule. What your. What's your situation like in the next couple of days? So I give him my information. He doesn't respond. Okay. I let like a couple of weeks go by. He doesn't say anything. Finally, now I broke my own rule.

[B]

Because I'm just like, that's okay. You want to know? If you want to know, that's okay. Because I'm like, I'm not going to penalize you.

[A]

This is really good. You said we were going out. You got sick. We were rescheduling. I gave you my word about him.

[B]

Like, he was saying, well, yeah, I'm.

[A]

Just like, what is going on? So I was like, hey, like I just said, you know, I'm still interested in a second date if. If you are. And he immediately responds like, oh, my gosh, yes, I am so sorry. And again, ask me for my schedule. I give it to him. Nothing goes to me.

[B]

This happens a lot now.

[A]

What is that? Just say you're not interested.

[B]

Okay, two. One is, he's dating someone else from the past, someone new. He's playing too many women at once against the odds. And he's kind of like ADD and he can't figure out where the playing field is. Okay. Or he's too polite and doesn't know how to say anything. In any case, he's not your guy. So a guy that would go on one date, have a fabulous date, ask him out, and then disappear. He is a demon.

[A]

Okay. Why?

[B]

He is a demon. I'm not Kidding. A real man would be like, I just thought about it, Alex. I don't think we're right for each other. And these are the. And maybe, you know, you're, you know, Christian and I'm Jewish or something ridiculous. You know, something that you didn't think about on the date or my ex came back or something. Something, you know, like, it's just that he should be a man. A man Up. This ghosting has got to stop. It's even happening at work, by the way.

[A]

What do you mean?

[B]

Oh, they're quiet quitting, and they're ghosting their employers all over the place. All over the place.

[A]

How do people survive without having a reference?

[B]

Like, a lot of assistants in Hollywood, they ghost their employer and then they say, oh, I was too busy. I couldn't come back. And then a week later, they come back, they're phantoming it, where they pop up every so often. It's called quiet quitting. And it's happening a lot. So it's even happening in the. In the working. You know, know, like people know about this in the working world. But the bottom line is anybody that ghosts is a non communicator. And what are they? They are dismissive, avoidant. You know about the attachment theory?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

So you met a dismissive avoidant. Could be a narcissist. Could be dismissive, avoidant, narcissist. But right now he's dismissive, odd. He ran because of confrontation. And even if he was sick, he'd say, I'm not in a good place to date right now.

[A]

Yeah, exactly. I'm like, well, you could have just told me. I was just so confused because what.

[B]

They'Re doing is they're messing women's brains up. And then women don't understand why this is happening, you know? Look, I'm sure women goes too. I'm not putting it on the men. But what I'm saying is if you do ghost, it's karma. You're only going to get it back to you. So would you want someone to ghost you say what you think and feel and mean. It's better to let go and say, I just don't think we're a fit. I wish you best of luck in your love life. That's what I say.

[A]

How long does it take when you're dating somebody for them to show their true colors?

[B]

Well, that's kind of hard. We have a theory on this. If you're dating them, it would be six, six to seven months. Some people say the true narcissist can hold out for a year and a half and the mask doesn't come off. They plan it. They know exactly how to play this. They have a modus operanda. This is how they get women on the male narcissist side. And so they can be one way. One way, one in the minute you relax. Sex and you know you got them is when the mask comes off.

[A]

So in your mind you should date for how long before getting engaged?

[B]

A year, Four seasons? Longer than that. You're going to go into the danger zone. Unless you're under 30.

[A]

Do you think it's crucial to travel with somebody before you get engaged? Like what are the things that you need to do before you get engaged?

[B]

Go to CVS and order your drugs and stand on the CVS line. Do errands. Yeah, do errands.

[A]

Lifestyle.

[B]

Do errands. Yeah, that. Travel. Travel. Meet the parents, meet the family. Big deal. Some people don't bring people home to meet their family. I've never seen anything like this before. Oh, I've been dating him two years. I've never met his family. I'm like, what? Or these. My favorite is when you're dating someone three months you haven't met in person, but you've only had FaceTime dates.

[A]

That's weird.

[B]

People are doing it. They think they're in a. I have a girlfriend who thinks she's in a relationship right now as we speak. Went on three dates and now they're planning their life together. It can happen. You can meet and fall in love on the first day. It's very old school, 50s style, but it can happen. It's not a norm. You know, it's not like, you know what they say, he's not that into you. You know, it's the exception. But the bottom line is you really need to spend a lot of time together. At least three or four, I would say three, four nights a week. Maybe spending time on the weekends versus the weekday week. Because when he's in the weekday, he's a different person than when he is on. On the week.

[A]

How long does sign say it takes a guy on average to know that he's in love with you?

[B]

They say that he knows within three months. Some people say statistically C6 months. I think they know in three months.

[A]

And so what happens? Do you think it's a red flag if one person in the relationship is ready to say I love you and the other isn't?

[B]

Yeah. It should be the man. Sorry.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Very old fashioned here. And what traditional.

[A]

But let's Say the man says, I love you and the woman isn't feeling it yet. What do you think?

[B]

Think I care about you? I'm not there yet.

[A]

And is it a red flag though that she isn't there?

[B]

No. She can grow. Women can grow in love. Men cannot. Oh, men. Scan the woman. I could do her. I have to be politically correct on this network. I can do her, right. I want to get to know her. I'm going to take my time and then I'm going to figure out if I fall in love with her, if I fall in love with the first, he's willing to take the risk a masculine man by telling you he loves you and you're just not there yet. But a woman can grow. Men cannot. He knows right away, unfortunately, unless he's a he. Switch hitting to the wrong team and he's on the feminine side. Because most masculine alpha man right handed males, they know.

[A]

So you should be nervous as a woman if you decide I'm just going to take the plunge. I'm gonna say I love you. And he's like, I'm not there yet. You should be worried.

[B]

Yes, completely run, right? Get out, get out, get out, get out and start dating. By the way, if he doesn't give you a ring in a year, by nine months is negotiation. If you read my book, become your own matchmaker. I give you the actual words to negotiate the engagement. So if you don't have engagement by nine months and you're not using, you know, the exact words that have been proven over and over again, you're in danger zone.

[A]

What are the words?

[B]

Well, there's a lot. It's like basically you go out to a place that's sunny. You don't go to a nighttime place because you'll end up in bed together. You go, look, these months have been amazing. I have had the best time with you. What is your plan for us? He didn't have a plan. Man with plan. Well, I can't keep doing this because I want to get married. I don't have kids. Like you don't seem to be on the page. I'll have a great time. You know what? By Thursday, I'll take my stuff out of your apartment. Can you make sure the doorman lets me in? Blah, blah, blah. And he's like, what? Wait, I was getting late, I was getting food, I was getting this, I was getting that. We're going here, we have plans. She's leaving me. Yeah, because he's got it too good. And he goes past a year you're in the dangers zone. Then it gets harder to get the ring. My mother would say two carrots for every, you know, X amount of months.

[A]

Well, this is what's I think is the sickest. I, I'm like, you are a sadistic weirdo. If you are a woman in your late 20s to mid-30s who enjoys being in this long term cohabitual relationship with no ring, if you have been dating this man for six years and you're 33 years old and you are not engaged, what is wrong with you?

[B]

Because you're wasting your years.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And not only that, Taylor Swift, Joel.

[A]

When I gave you all that, you're.

[B]

Free, was it like six years? Six years. I was really angry at him for that one. I was like, I was pissed at him. But the key is like, okay, so let's say you're dating for six months and it's too soon. And. Or maybe he's not that rich. He might have promise ring. He can put a ring on it. So other men go, don't go near my girl. And then you can trade up to the big ring. But now we have a new ring in town. You've heard about this, right? The non conflict man made diamond, right? It's a man made diamond. It's a lab grown diamond that cost a third of a diamond's price.

[A]

I'm pro lab grown. I do not care. I don't.

[B]

I think, look, it's got a little bit of a rainbow in it. My dad was a jeweler. He was in the diamond business. It's beautiful. Some of them like Jean de so makes some of the most gorgeous rings I've ever seen. His father was a, was the jewelry designer for Cartier. And it's costing a lot less money. There's no excuse. Doesn't need to be three, four months of salary and there's no reason you can't put a ring on it. But if he can't buy you a piece of jewelry and put a ring on it, you're not your guy. Unfortunately, I can't. Men who love women will spend money on them. A cheap man, worse.

[A]

So what if he's like, babe, like, you know I love you. We are doing so great. We don't need to change anything up. We don't need to get married right now.

[B]

We don't need labels. Yeah, I do you. I need a label. Do you care about me? Do you love me? Well, then you're gonna make me feel safe. Because if you don't make me safe, guess what? Boom. It's not happening. See this that you love so much that you can't wait to get in.

[A]

Legs are closed.

[B]

Legs are closed. We are on strike. Longer than the government shutdown.

[A]

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[B]

I like it's three, four months. It's okay. Sometimes it could be six, but I'd say three, four months. It depends if you have kids because kids are different. Like depending what age they are. You know, if they're older, obviously they're going to be able to handle it. But they're little and you keep having revolving door. No, you got to know this is a serious thing for you to bring around your little children.

[A]

Would you ever recommend a woman propose to a man?

[B]

No. I've seen it. We've seen it on a lot of shows. You've seen it? I've heard certain celebrities have. And they've also bought the ring.

[A]

You've heard certain celebrities.

[B]

I don't want to say it, but I've heard celebrities have. And they've bought the ring. Yes, correct. Those big fancy rings. When they're marrying someone who doesn't have money, you do the math.

[A]

Would you? Okay. You make a lot of money if a guy you were dating proposed to you and it was he doesn't make as much as you. So if he were to buy a ring, it's not going to be maybe what you would want.

[B]

I'm not dating down anymore. So that would be when I dated down. Yeah.

[A]

Would you have accepted a ring that would be like less of a carrot size than what you want?

[B]

My ex Andy and I got engaged and he bought me the most gorgeous fort carrot heart shaped diamond that when I met Lady Gaga, she had kind of a similar ring. She said, look, I looked at your ring and I thought this was really cool because it was all over the tablets. Nobody had had a heart shaped diamond with a halo around it. And Andy custom designed it. He didn't spend a fortune was definitely quality. I checked it out and I was really impressed by it. So he saved up or put on a credit card. I don't know, it doesn't matter. I don't care. You know, like I bought him an expensive watch. I still gave something back as an engagement gift.

[A]

If a guy says he's not ready yet for a relationship but he keeps texting you and he keeps seeing you, what is the move? Cut it off or just play it cool?

[B]

Well, that is, you know, I used to call that the phantom data. There's a new name for it now I can't remember what it is. It's like I'm I know they're shrinking and all these terms and it's not coming to me, but somebody will know this. You need to go. Listen, I know you keep checking me in, but I'm not here to fill up your love tank. So what do you want? What do you want? How do you see this? Let him talk. Let him tell you. He's going to tell you right away. Well, I just want to hang out with you. I'm not interested in hanging out with you. I'm looking for a marriage partner. You have to be direct, and if he annoys you, just cut him off. Look, the cleaner you make your field, the quicker you're going to level up to better men. It might be a longer wait time, but trust me, in the end, you always get better.

[A]

How many dates should you go on? Or how long should you be going on dates before making it exclusive? Boyfriend, girlfriend?

[B]

The man would ask you right away. So if you're dating three months and he hasn't asked you to be the girlfriend, you got a problem.

[A]

Last couple relationships of mine. On the second date, he said, I don't want you seeing anyone else. I'm not saying anyone else. I want you to be mine.

[B]

Well, you're not like normal. You're like this drop dead gorgeous, smart girl with this platform, you know that, like, they know they better grab you faster, they're going to lose out, you know? But not everybody has this level of achievement. But if a guy's doing that quick, he either is A, really interested in you, which is going to have to see it through, or b, that's his M.O. he does that with all women.

[A]

Oh, wow.

[B]

You got to figure it out.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Not everybody's the same.

[A]

Do you believe that everybody just gets one great love or we have multiple.

[B]

Absolutely not. My mother was married three times, My dad twice. No, doesn't exist. You can have as many as you want. There's plenty of. You change and evolve. So does the playing field. Field? Yeah. You could be 80. I was in Great Expectations back in the day running one of the offices in Boca, and a guy walks in, he's probably like in his 70s, and he's got a hearing aid from Palm Beach. Woman walks in, very attractive. She's in her 80s. I put them together on a date, they got married. So I know the love is it. Love can be, you know, all the way out.

[A]

I'm obsessed with that. That's so cute. Is it ever okay to date multiple people while you're figuring it out?

[B]

Yes. While you're dating, you're supposed to date like a man. You date a pair and a spare. Always three. First person is the one you can't wait for the phone to ring. You're like. The second one is the cusper. That's the one where you're like, he's a little short. Maybe he doesn't make as much money as I do, but he's super cute and he treats me really well. He sent me flowers on my birthday. Like, there's always a reason why, but there's also a reason not to get rid of him. And the last one's kind of like the friend, the one that you maybe went to college with. You made a best friend and you take to all these events as your plus one. And sometimes you look at him and you think, oh yeah, he could be it. And then sometimes you're like, no way. So they rotate the three and eventually one pops. Now I hate to say this, can I say it on the air? Because it's Christian smells. So when you're dating, if you date more than one, one of them is going to want to move faster and to get you into position as the first position and the girlfriend. Because they're smelling other men and they can tell. Oh yeah.

[A]

How do they tell?

[B]

Cooch smells. Cooch cock smells. It's the same all the way around. Okay. They just. Even in gay, it's the same thing. Like they know they have. Like you can feel it. You can go like, she's not so into me. She's not answering the phone right away. She's, you know, like she went to a party without me.

[A]

Like, it's like behavior.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

That you're doing.

[B]

Because when you really like someone, you make them the, you know, the front of the house and then you just go after them.

[A]

When people say they just. They got the ick.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Is that self sabotage or valid?

[B]

Well, it depends how bad the ick is. Is the ick because, you know, you're a Democrat and he's a Republican. Like, yeah, that's valid. And you can't be Carvel and I don't know the girl's name.

[A]

No, I think the. It is like he had kind of long toenails.

[B]

Right? Exactly. The it can't be like something you can fix, you know, like his hair is terrible or needs straight teeth or whatever. The X got to be something that he did that is irreprensible or immoral. Something along those lines. Unethical.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I'd say more like that. But if it's physical, then you're shallow. And then you need a shallow person.

[A]

What is the best way for a guy to ask a girl out in public? Let's say the grocery store.

[B]

I just saw this the other day at Whole Foods. So a guy was checking this young girl out and he was pretty old. Like I was like, oh, you're going after a 25 year old. I gotta watch this. So I watched it and she was in the, the condiment, Isla. And he was trying to figure out which soy sauce to get. Like there's 5 million soy sauces at all foods. And she's just like looking at him. Yeah, that's a good one. And then she starts walking. Hey, wait, wait, wait. And she's like, so do you come here often? And she's like, it's Whole Foods. Everybody comes here. Like, she took him down to her level. He was mortified. She walks away. And then he says to me, I said, you're dating your daughter. He's like, aren't you the matchmaker? And then I gave him some advice, but I said, stop. Once you, once you date your own age, like 10, 10 down and 10 above, you go 10 up. He was like, 45, 50, 10 up and 10 down. Don't date a 25 year old when you're like 45, 50, they're not going to look at you the same. She really thought he was crazy. Now I love it that he was brave enough to ask a girl out. He just asked the wrong girl out.

[A]

Yeah, he wasn't really being.

[B]

I saw this the other day and I was thinking like, oh God, I have to tell this on show because it was really funny.

[A]

We were.

[B]

All my friends were laughing. So.

[A]

Okay, correct, like this is like an actual realistic, doable.

[B]

Yeah. You know, so you're at the gas station, you're getting gas. Her get her car's next to yours and you notice she doesn't have a ring. First look for no ring and then she might have a boyfriend. But you can say, hey, can I ask you a question? You're really beautiful. Are you single now? Now in la, that girl would write her number on your car. Like she'd be so excited that somebody stop and chat and asked her out. Other cities maybe not, and she'll think it's creepy. But the bottom line is if you don't ask, you're never going to know. If you do that four or five times in a week, you're going to hit. One's going to hit out of the four or five. You just got to keep practicing it it's like, because it's kind of rejection. It's God's protection, and that wasn't meant to be the person for you. So when you get the good one, that person's gonna light up like a Christmas tree and be so grateful. No man ever asked me out.

[A]

Do you think that men are scientifically likely to become totally repulsed by you if you sleep with them within the first three dates?

[B]

They're not going to be repulsed. They might take you for. They might take you for granted. But you can do the flip side and you can call them up, say, oh, I made the biggest mistake. I had too much to drink last night. I was so attracted to you. I slept with you. I never, ever do this. I need to dial it back, back. Because unless you want a relationship, I. I don't want to go down that road.

[A]

Interesting.

[B]

You took the power back.

[A]

Interesting.

[B]

And you said, look, I messed up. I made a mistake. If he loves you and cares about you, he's going to be like, whoa, who said you made a mistake? I want to date only you.

[A]

Okay, let's do a little game. I'm gonna give you some scenarios, okay? And then you tell me if this is a red, green, or beige flag. You know, beige flag is like, maybe. It depends.

[B]

Red is a red is a no, and a green is a yes. Got it. Got it.

[A]

And you can, you know, expound on these a little bit.

[B]

Thanks. Go on.

[A]

I know we do need some props. Okay. Red, green, or beige flag. If a grown man tells you his favorite hobby is playing video games.

[B]

Beige.

[A]

Okay, explain.

[B]

Well, you know, the 20 somethings, they love video, and it is kind of a great connector thing for eye brain coordination. And we're going to see a lot of this with AI so it is kind of beige. It's not 100 nerdy city. And it's not 100. Like. Like he's an incel. It's not. This is not what this is about. It's that he was raised in a technological age and he might work at a tech company and he might work at a gaming company. So there you go.

[A]

If you are not working at a gaming company and you tell me that.

[B]

I'm out, but sometimes they want an hour of their own time to relax and just play with the guy. Like, just like we like to do something else.

[A]

That's fair.

[B]

We want to go to the spa. They want to play video games.

[A]

Okay, that's a little.

[B]

That's beige. That's beige.

[A]

Okay. Red, green, or beige flag? He lives with his Mom. But he says he's saving for a house.

[B]

That's a red.

[A]

Why?

[B]

I don't like that. That means the mom's cooking for him, doing his laundry, and he's never gonna. He's never gonna grow up. I don't like it.

[A]

But is there an age limit? Like, this is all. It's only okay for him to say that if he's like, like for a year.

[B]

Like, if he says, I'm only doing this for a year, like, at 23.

[A]

That makes sense to me.

[B]

Oh, 33. I'm talking about, like, if you're in college and you're doing that, that's fine. But if you're out of college, like, even after your master's program or law school, whatever, and you're doing that, we've got a. We got a bad. If you're under 30 and you're doing it, you better have a damn good reason. Like, she's sick and you have to take her to the nurse every week. Like, I. I don't want to hear it because I want to know that you live on your own. It's creepy. Because how you have sex. He's always going to come to your house.

[A]

Red, green, or beige flag. He's 40, never married, no kids, but says he's been focusing on himself.

[B]

No, that's a red flag.

[A]

Why?

[B]

Because he's selfish and he's a narcissist. Focusing on himself. Okay.

[A]

I think that just points to hedonism. You know, He's a narcissist.

[B]

He's a narcissist. That's a narcissist.

[A]

If you are single and you are beyond, like, mid-30s. Yeah, I better hear answers. Like, I am volunteering with foster care. I am, you know, what about you.

[B]

Had a relationship and it broke up recently. And, like, that's different. But if he's saying, like, oh, I've never been in a serious relationship. A 940 run. Yeah, run.

[A]

Red, green, or beige flag? He says, I don't believe in labels.

[B]

G. That is a red flag. Vomit. I believe in them because you believe. And I believe in the sanctimony of marriage. You know, I believe in getting married, putting down roots and claiming each other. So that's a hippie. He's a Democrat, by the way.

[A]

Red, green or beige flag. She frequently takes. Takes days to respond and says she's just bad at texting.

[B]

Nope, red flag.

[A]

Why is that a red flag?

[B]

Because you probably contact your employer 10 seconds after they respond to you on a text. So if you can contact your employer. You can contact the date. And by the way, bad communicators are bad daters.

[A]

I believe that text chemistry is a real thing.

[B]

Yes, it is. Totally real thing.

[A]

There have been guys, you need to.

[B]

Mirror the man's tech chemistry. That's something we should talk about. You need to mirror it.

[A]

Okay, explain.

[B]

He texts sporadically. You text sporadically and then drop off. Don't give him any time a day. He texts consistently. You tech consistently back. Once my ex said to me the weirdest thing. Why do you answer so quickly? I said, should I torture you? I never answer the text. And he's like. He looked at me like. Like, oh, yeah, I made him maybe should have said that, because it's true. It's like, I am a New Yorker. I don't. Like. If I. For. If you text me and I don't text you back, I'm gonna forget. It's just a thing that I have. I will. You'll go to the bottom of the text messages, and then I'll forget to text you. So I immediately answer.

[A]

I'm the same way.

[B]

And then guys freak out when I don't answer, because then they're like, where are you?

[A]

Red, green, or beige flag? He always watches your Instagram stories, but he doesn't text you.

[B]

Oh, that is a red.

[A]

What does it mean?

[B]

It means you are on the back burner. You are an option. He's created you as an option. He didn't ask you whether you want to be an option. He's just like, oh, I can always have her block him.

[A]

But they'll, like, like your stories.

[B]

Lock them. And it's like, you're dating him consistently. Get. You don't want him to watch your stories unless you're engaged. Hey, guess what, buddy? I got engaged to somebody else. Look, look, look, look. Then you can unlock them.

[A]

I see this a lot with the younger crowd. Like, early 20s, mid 20s. Is. They don't even ask for numbers. They say, what's your snap?

[B]

Oh, I didn't know about this. I heard about this the other day. What? They're on Snapchat. Who's on Snapchat other than to get a filter? I don't get that.

[A]

It's so weird, but they're all communicating through Snap. You know, on college campuses, even you go to a party or you go to some event, and then, like, you're leaving. And he doesn't say, hey, what's your number? I want to text you. He says, what's your Snapchat? And I've been telling girls, tell him I don't snap, but you can ask for my number. Also, I was at a bachelorette party for one of my friends, and we're all in our 30s, some early 40s, and we're at this bachelorette party out, and this guy asked my friend for her Snapchat. That. And that's our age group. So this is like a grow. This is a creepy. Gross.

[B]

This is a creepy. I told her to say, that's a red flag.

[A]

I would rather give you my address. You can send me some flowers.

[B]

That's a red flag.

[A]

What is that?

[B]

That is a red flag.

[A]

Yeah, for sure. Red flag.

[B]

Also, when you're dating online and they're going back and forth, you say, look, I don't know how long I'm going to be on this app. Nothing against the app. I just don't love the experience of app dating. If you really want to talk to me, here's my number. And you can also get a Google number that's not your number. That's. That's attached to your number that for security reasons will come up as a different number and they won't know your core number.

[A]

Oh, that's.

[B]

That's another security thing.

[A]

That's a good idea.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Red, green, or beige flag? He doesn't have a credit card because debt is evil.

[B]

That's a red, red, red, red flag. That's a fire waiting to happen.

[A]

Why?

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

But he says debt is evil.

[B]

Yeah, he's also Democrat. Bye. Says, what is that? What is that? In college, they throw credit cards at you. If you keep up your payments and you don't go into debt, that means you're good with money. Do you want a man who's bad with money that he doesn't have a credit card? They can't get on the plane.

[A]

I didn't even think about it that way. Yeah, I mean, I always just people that say, I have no credit cards because I don't believe in debt. I'm always just like, well, I don't understand how you're building credit.

[B]

No, there's no way.

[A]

How are you buying a car?

[B]

If you buy a house and you get a mortgage is, you're going to still have credit and you're going to still need a credit card. So that's baloney.

[A]

Red, green, or beige flag. He doesn't like taking pictures together and hasn't posted you even though you've been dating for months.

[B]

Red, red, red. He has a girl that he's still got the back burner. An ex girlfriend. Someone or he's trying to get a new girl and trade up. That is a sign he's looking. Yeah.

[A]

He wants to appear single and available.

[B]

Exactly. We see a lot of celebrities do this. Oh, yeah. I don't want to be shot this way. Then why are you in Craig's and the friend of the paparazzi line?

[A]

Red, green, or beige flag? He's super close with his female best friend, who he swears is just like a sister.

[B]

I have a problem with this. I've talked about this a lot, especially with ex girlfriends. You know, it's different. If you have an ex wife and you have children, that's a different story. But why do they have a best friend that's a girl? Okay, I don't have a best friend that's a guy.

[A]

I'm not into it.

[B]

You know? I mean, unless they've always had a crush on each other, I'm not a fan of that. It's kind of a beige. She better be married.

[A]

She better be ugly.

[B]

She better. I was just about to say that. She better be hideous. She is a zero. And she's married with, like, seven cats. Okay, that's it.

[A]

Yeah. That's the only exception. She's hotter than me. Goodbye.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

Not even close.

[B]

She is really hideous.

[A]

Okay, red, green, or beige flag. He refuses to talk about his past relationships because the past is the past past.

[B]

No, that's a dismissive avoidant. So you won't talk about your past relationship. What went wrong? How are you going to grow and evolve? And then he's going to say, well, I don't. I don't want to go there. That's how he handles conflict. The first question you should ask on a date, by the way, I'm going to give you a great day. Question is, you're lingering over your wine, you've got your hors d', oeuvres, and you sink, you know, sinking in. You go, so how do you handle conflict? And don't. Don't answer the question for him and just let the awkward pause linger. If he go, you got a problem? If he goes, well, you know, I like to calmly go over the facts. That's a good man. But if he goes, I don't want to talk about it. I. I was engaged to somebody who was like this, and I broke off the engagement because he wasn't a communicator. I couldn't handle it. I'm a Gemini. It wouldn't work.

[A]

I like this question. And I asked this. I Went on two dates. I went on one one night, and then the next night I went on a date with someone else. And the question I asked was, when you envision having a family one day, what do you picture your family mission to be like? What is your family accomplishing together? What are you known for as a family? And the first guy was like, so dear in the headlights. Like, had literally no idea what I was talking about. I've never even thought about that. I don't know what I envision, like, my family will be like or what we'll be doing. And then the next guy is like, oh, homeschooling. This, this. Like, he literally had all these answers. Like, we're gonna be known as this. We're gonna be. We're gonna be doing this in all this. And I was like, yes. I like kind of asking. I just like asking questions.

[B]

You like a planner, so you. And by the way, you will know how he plans dates if he's a planner or not.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

So it's like, you can make suggestions like, hey, do what I want to do tonight, like, fort date in. Maybe it's not a movie and pizza. And you can be way. There's this really, you know, concert in the park. Let's go take a walk. And you can do that. But 90% of the time, those men are planning dates. And if they're not, they're not alpha.

[A]

I also get. Speaking of icks, I'm going to tell you one thing that's an ick to me is the guy that has the excuse that I just moved here or I don't. I don't know the area that well, so can you give me the restaurant? Like, give me some. A list of options? No. It is so easy to ask Chad GBT or Google blogs for like, best restaurants, whatever, and pick something out of the top five. This isn't hard to do. I. I do this, I am in a different city, like every single week.

[B]

And I will find all the guns at the hotel. Yes, yes.

[A]

It's so easy. Like, do not ask.

[B]

Join your city.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Do not rely on the girl to. Because even if he's like, just give me options and I'll pick from there. Don't. You're already. That's like, you're already like low ranking to me.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

If you do that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What is your advice, Patty, for somebody as we wrap up here that desperately wants to be married? It just hasn't happened yet.

[B]

I think you can be married, but you got to marry, you know, marriage Minded guys and you got to qualify them and it is a time consuming thing. We have this thing on my company called dating app Takeover where we take over your app and we screen for candidates all in the different apps and it's not as much money as obviously my service. And one of the things that we found out is that, you know, there are marriage minded guys online. Maybe they're not always the best looking or the richest, whatever, but they're quality men, like a good solid 8 and weeks can screen for that when you do that. And I think a lot of people are not screening for marriage minded. They're just, oh, he's cute, he's hot, he likes me, okay, whatever. I'm like, well, what's his plan? Who is he? Where does he come from? Do you come from a good family? What's his story? Does he go to church? You know, I was, I watched Ben, my little baby Ben Shapiro and would you said to him something about what's the number one thing people should do? And I was surprised because as a Jew, he didn't say the synagogue, he said church. And I was like, damn skippy, get your ass to church. Try different churches. I have friends that try different churches to meet different single pools or synagogue or whatever your, you know, your thing is. And you'll meet quality people because you got to do things together. Like they have church picnics and they have like charity runs and things like that. That's how you build community. And Susie over here, whose husband knows 10 guys is gonna fix you up.

[A]

I also think, and I mean don't do this if you're just new in the game, but I'm saying like if you are absolutely at your wits end and you are like in your late 30s or whatever and you're a woman who's desperate to be married and it hasn't happened and I think that that is a time to tell your friends. I want brutal honesty. I want you to tell, oh, you.

[B]

Want them to give you the, the brand? Why am I saying that?

[A]

Why am I single? Okay, is it something physically that I can improve on? Is it something about my personality? Is it where I'm finding men? Like, do I have some sort of really, am I too hard on men?

[B]

Am I too talky? Do I not let them lead? Whatever. Also I think, think I pray. I'm a prayer. So I'm a big prayer person. I go every night, I pray, I give gratitude to the universe. I try to send white light to the planet. And I believe like you pray, look, there's a thing with St. Anthony. Do you know about this? So it's kind of cool because I found out I was biologically Catholic on my mother's side. I was adopted. And so I fell in love with St. Anthony. Anytime I lost anything, this saint came in. I don't know how he does it. I can't figure it out. And last week I was googling about him calling St. Anthony. Can you reincarten as a man? I'll marry you. You know, and you put St. Anthony on in a glass of water and you with a statue and you turn it upside down until he, you know, he's supposed to sell your house, but he's also supposed to get you your marriage partner. Now, you may not be Catholic, and it might be a cool little ritual, but find little rituals that work for you because everybody's doing law of attraction. They're praying, you know, they're. They're working on themselves. Hypnosis. Jennifer Aniston is marrying, like, Jim Curtis. This. Oh, did I just say that? That's Freudian.

[A]

That's out.

[B]

No, she's. Did I say dating or marrying? Well, that was Freudian slip. Well, I wonder if they're gonna get married. That was Freudian slip. And I do like that all the time. But anyway, she's dating Jim Curtis. He's an amazing hypnotherapist. Marisa Pier is one of my best friends, and she's a hypnotherapist, like, world renowned. And they believe change your brain, change your outcome. Let's. Let's start programming, affirming. Let's do our affirmations in the tub, in the shower, water as a conductor. Let's start doing things that are not just external. Go to the bar seven nights a week. But let's do stuff internally and give it to God. And, you know, if Jesus wants to take the wheel, great. It could be a great matchmaker.

[A]

Jesus, if you could give one remedy to heal a sick culture, physically, emotionally, or spiritually, what would it be for you?

[B]

Give it to God. I'm gonna start crying. That's. That really. That really is true. Give it to God. Let go.

[A]

Why does it make you emotional?

[B]

Because we put a timeline on. I'm always getting criticized and I'm single and I get it from everyone in the world. I'm. I'm like a beer mother, you know, and my journey is not your journey or anybody else's journey. And they don't know what I've gone through. They don't know what my childhood was. Like they don't know the abandonment I've suffered, the abuse I've gone through. And the one thing I will say that every boyfriend has ever done to me. And I started to get these letters from them. I don't know if you've ever gotten letters from ex boyfriends. They go, you changed my life forever. I would never become the man I was if it wasn't for you. My assistant just said it to me and she just left after two years for her next job. And I thought, okay, maybe I didn't get love, but I'm changing the planet one person at a time.

[A]

Speaking of your life story, you're working on a special project right now, right?

[B]

Yes. Well, I'm really lucky. Andrew Brule, who did the kissing booth and the Walter boys, and Alan from the Queen's Gambit, they are producing a series based on my Life. But I'm 16 at the time, I'm in high school, and my mother and my grandmother are matchmakers in New Jersey. Hopefully the next Nobody wants this. I love. Nobody wants this. I love Aaron, too. I love Aaron and I love Sarah. I think they're program. It was so good in a time when Jews were getting crucified. We didn't think anybody was going to watch it. And Mrs. Maisel was like my favorite show and went away. And I was like, oh, what's going to take the baton next? And we're really excited about this project. We just got our writer. You know, I produce movies for Hallmark for years, so I was really excited about working with this fabulous team. And is that really your story that.

[A]

Your mom and grandma were matchmakers?

[B]

Yes, true story. And I'm adopted in the show. It's like all my things. The only difference is we were gonna do it in the 70s when I was growing up. Now we're doing it today, and it's the matchmaker moms against the apps. Doesn't mean we won't turn into an app. It's just that, like, my mom would say, this is just an accessory that we use. Because I love what, you know, I love what Whitney did at Bumble. I think she was fabulous. Turning a terrible, dark story with Tinder around and, you know, becoming a billionaire overnight. I, I think that was one of the great. You can watch swiped on Hulu right now, her story. But I think that, like, the apps are not terrible. You know, the apps, technology are great. It's just that it's time consuming and people don't have the time. That's all it is. I think we need a better. I would love to have the next great app. I have an idea that nobody has and get investment, you know, capital to do it. Because I think that we need a more. A filter filtered app with is more strong solutions for the individual as opposed to sitting on there forever and swiping. It's like, it's like doom scrolling, you know. So we need to get a better filter of what you're looking for in the app only gives you what you're looking for and if not there, it's not there. Instead of like, you know, getting the super likes and the, you know, the, the boost to go to the front of the line, you know, there's like a whole. It's like gambling in Vegas, basically.

[A]

Where should people follow you on social media?

[B]

You can come to me on Instagram at Patty Stanger with an I. I'm on pretty much everything, although I'm not as much on TikTok. I need to get better into TikTok. I just don't like have the time to do videos all the time. I'm kind of a great reposter. So when I see you make a comment, I repost. When Charlie made a comment, Erica makes a comment. I'm reposting that because I want the world to see what's going on with the world. So. And sometimes I'm doing me, you know, it's like, it's a little hodgepodge, but I need to be better at it. It. I don't love it as much, you.

[A]

Know, I don't love social media either.

[B]

I'm tired. I'm tired. It's exhausting, especially when you're working on your. I have a real business, a real matchmaker club. I don't have time. And we're also producing stuff. But, you know, I was, I'm very grateful to Bravo for finding me and creating this great, you know, you know, platform for me.

[A]

Well, you're a legend. I, I have been wanting to have you on the show for a while. I think this was so much fun and my audience loves you and like, I mean, yeah, you're an icon. So we're so excited for everything that you do and cheer.

[B]

I mean, like, I've wanted. It was so weird because I, I manifested this. I wanted to be on your show. I have been watching you. I am a wellness witch. I am a biohacker. I'm into all the things you're into. And when you, when you say those Harding questions, I'm like, I want to know why do we have gmo. What's going on? You know, like, I want to know, why are these mosquitoes killing us? Bill Gates, you know, what's going on? We got welts two years ago in California from those mosquitoes that he dropped out. They were horrendous. We were all sick from it.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

So, like, I watch you and I listen to you, and it's like, you know, we need to get rid of these chemicals and toxic city and, like, we're not paying attention to this. We're gonna die.

[A]

Well, you made it happen, Patty.

[B]

Thank you for coming on so much for inviting me. I'm so excited that I got to meet you.

[A]

Whether you love her opinions, you hate her opinions, you have to admit that she is so entertaining and she is a legend for a reason. I mean, I grew up, up watching her on tv, so it was just so surreal to have her in person. And I've wanted to have her forever. I really appreciate people who say what they mean, mean what they say, even if I don't always agree 100% on everything they say. I really appreciate that Patty has always been herself. No matter how famous she has gotten, she's always been the same. Like Patty today is the same Patty that we saw 10 years ago. We're healing a sick culture physically, emotionally and spiritually. Mondays and Thursdays at 9pm Eastern, 6pm Pacific. Please leave a five star review. Tell others why they need to be listening to Culture Apothecary. What your favorite episode was. Subscribe to Real Alex Clark on YouTube. Follow me on Instagram at Real Alex Clark and the show at Culture Apothecary. My name is Alex Clark and this is Culture Apothecary.